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(Daily Mail)   "She had been starving after spending two weeks in the wild when she devised an innovative way to catch fish using her private parts as bait and then trapping her meal between her legs"   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 147
    More: Scary, survival skills, nude  
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33394 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Apr 2013 at 7:55 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



147 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-04-05 05:59:45 PM
Hahahahah gross.
 
2013-04-05 06:05:07 PM
Is that why your lady parts always smell so fishy?
 
2013-04-05 06:06:55 PM
'Survival shows are so common now that it's gotten more and more difficult to convince the audience that what they're watching is something extreme.  Having no clothes just takes it to the next level. It's the ultimate test and makes survival exponentially more difficult.'

Next season:  "Survival of the Handicapped"
 
2013-04-05 06:10:06 PM
After hours in the water, she came back to camp with a big red snapper.
 
2013-04-05 06:12:50 PM
Meh.
I've used clams for bait before.
 
2013-04-05 06:16:02 PM
Stafford, who brings no food, water, clothes, weapons or tools, will have to find and make his own using his bare hands in order to survive during his 60 days on the island.

That first picture shows a steel knife in his hands. That's huge.

Interesting idea, however. And she looks better in subsequent pictures.
 
2013-04-05 06:24:50 PM

AdolfOliverPanties: After hours in the water, she came back to camp with a big red snapper.


I was gonna say filet of trouser trout but snapper works too.
 
2013-04-05 06:55:49 PM
I think I would just raid the catering truck for the audio, cam ops, grips, editors and location mixers.
 
2013-04-05 06:57:07 PM
I would like to watch this show, but what's the point? The good bits will be pixels out.
 
2013-04-05 07:16:38 PM
Please let it be a red snapper.
 
2013-04-05 07:27:32 PM
The rock and pool
is nice and cool
so juicy sweet.
Our only wish
to catch a fish
so juicy sweet!
 
2013-04-05 07:40:46 PM
Fishay fishay!

i.imgur.com
 
2013-04-05 07:47:35 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-04-05 07:49:35 PM
That Johnathan guy is a bit of alright.  Just need to put a bag over his head, maybe...
 
2013-04-05 07:50:26 PM
unf
 
2013-04-05 07:55:58 PM
Sort of a "fight fire with fire" kind of thing, eh?
 
2013-04-05 07:58:35 PM
The little man in the boat will win.
 
2013-04-05 08:00:11 PM
"Great.  Now I'll never get the smell out."
 
2013-04-05 08:01:16 PM
Omfg, stfu ... No way. No.
 
2013-04-05 08:02:31 PM
Innovative?
 
2013-04-05 08:02:47 PM
i.imgur.com
i.imgur.com
 
2013-04-05 08:03:02 PM

Nadie_AZ: Stafford, who brings no food, water, clothes, weapons or tools, will have to find and make his own using his bare hands in order to survive during his 60 days on the island.

That first picture shows a steel knife in his hands. That's huge.

Interesting idea, however. And she looks better in subsequent pictures.


She looks so much better in the other pictures that you'd almost think she was a completely different person.

They're talking about 3 different shows. The Stafford guy isn't pictured at all. The first picture is from a different show, the other pictures are from a third show.
 
2013-04-05 08:04:13 PM
That is Busch League subby ! Busch League.
 
2013-04-05 08:04:43 PM

Honest Bender: Is that why your lady parts always smell so fishy?


Also, you're sleeping with the wrong kind if this is a regular phenomenon. Clean and healthy women don't smell fishy.
 
2013-04-05 08:05:16 PM
Eh, not like anyone expects anything of quality from the Discovery Channel anyway.
It's sadder to see the Science Channel get these shows.
I can't wait to see d-list "celebrity scientists" comment on "the science behind epic fail videos", VH1-style.

Yes, the commercial said "epic fail" and even had a font for it.
 
2013-04-05 08:09:38 PM

Honest Bender: Is that why your lady parts always smell so fishy?


Use a thief to catch a thief, use fish to catch fish.
 
2013-04-05 08:10:59 PM
Betty White pick up the white courtesy phone.
 
2013-04-05 08:11:32 PM

God-is-a-Taco: Eh, not like anyone expects anything of quality from the Discovery Channel anyway.
It's sadder to see the Science Channel get these shows.
I can't wait to see d-list "celebrity scientists" comment on "the science behind epic fail videos", VH1-style.

Yes, the commercial said "epic fail" and even had a font for it.


Yeah Discovery is serious fail these days.  Ever since Mythbusters has started doing a "WARNING: Science Content" so you can change the channel in fear, you know it's over.
 
2013-04-05 08:12:20 PM

AbbeySomeone: AdolfOliverPanties: After hours in the water, she came back to camp with a big red snapper.

I was gonna say filet of trouser trout but snapper works too.


I was gonna say she caught a tube steak.
 
2013-04-05 08:16:38 PM

Mrs.Sharpier: Honest Bender: Is that why your lady parts always smell so fishy?

Also, you're sleeping with the wrong kind if this is a regular phenomenon. Clean and healthy women don't smell fishy.


"salty catbox" isn't a much better alternative you know.
 
2013-04-05 08:17:33 PM

puffy999: Fishay fishay!

[i.imgur.com image 650x376]


If those start singing or telling lame jokes Ima gonna take a shotgun to em.....
 
2013-04-05 08:20:34 PM
She put her cooter in the river?

Great. Now ALL the fish are gonna smell like that....
 
2013-04-05 08:22:17 PM
i hope she's quick with the legs.
 
2013-04-05 08:23:11 PM

Mentalpatient87: Sort of a "fight fire with fire" kind of thing, eh?


Yeah, its the only way to catch bottomfeeders...
 
2013-04-05 08:23:25 PM
FTFA: "Survivors: 'Naked and Afraid' participants Alison Teal-Blehert Koehn and Jonathan Klay found clothing"

Uh-huh. Yeah, they just happened to "find" clothing that just *happens* to look like the stereotypical caveman / wildman clothing, Little-known fact, every desert island comes pre-stocked with a caveman / wildman wardrobe, complete with lopsided dress designed to show off some leg and get the male viewers switched over.

img818.imageshack.us
Except no, they didn't, you lying sacks of shiat. The producers handed them clothing and said "Here, pretend you found this."

/I despise reality TV. There is nothing real about it -- every scene is carefully set up, every "argument" is carefully teased out by a series of leading questions that are edited out of the aired footage, and every single thing about it could not be more fake if they tried.
 
2013-04-05 08:23:46 PM

Nadie_AZ: Stafford, who brings no food, water, clothes, weapons or tools, will have to find and make his own using his bare hands in order to survive during his 60 days on the island.

That first picture shows a steel knife in his hands. That's huge.


You're right, of course, and the Ed Stafford show proves it. I haven't read the article but I have seen the one with the 60 days on an island thing.
He used a shell from a clam to use as a cutting utensil. And it seemed really hard going when he tried to cut down a small tree.

The show itself I have reservations with. Yes, he doesn't bring anything onto the island apart from a camera - and provisions for its use via drop offs from the crew once a week ie batteries etc - really, I think even a dickhead like me without true survival experience but have seen enough tv shows to know how to survive would have made it without too much hassle. In the show, it took Ed 3 or 4 days before he even got a fire going. He failed and left it after previous attempts. That's bullshiat. For a guy who had walked the length of the Amazon, and used to be in the army or something, I kinda expect the fire to be up and running after a few hours of arriving. As for water, he made no attempt to look further into the island for supplies until after a week or so and soley relied on a piddling 'stream' of water coming down a wall.  This is after he saw some wild goats on the island.

Basically, don;t be fooled by what these programs are proclaiming to be. These guys know exactly what to do but will not do it because of the television factor.
 
2013-04-05 08:24:34 PM

Mrs.Sharpier: Honest Bender: Is that why your lady parts always smell so fishy?

Also, you're sleeping with the wrong kind if this is a regular phenomenon. Clean and healthy women don't smell fishy.


This.

And I've tasted the fishy. But I've also been with girls with absolutely zero smell or taste. They tended to be vegetarians. The worst-smelling girl I've ever been with basically lived off burgers, french fries, and chicken fingers.
 
2013-04-05 08:25:13 PM
Makes sense, many women use their between-legs as a meal ticket.
 
2013-04-05 08:26:50 PM
img.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-05 08:27:45 PM

MemeSlave: Mrs.Sharpier: Honest Bender: Is that why your lady parts always smell so fishy?

Also, you're sleeping with the wrong kind if this is a regular phenomenon. Clean and healthy women don't smell fishy.

"salty catbox" isn't a much better alternative you know.


Perfumed mouse
 
2013-04-05 08:30:05 PM

Earguy: Please let it be a red snapper.


But what's in the box?
 
2013-04-05 08:32:05 PM
img.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-05 08:38:50 PM
Whore.
 
2013-04-05 08:39:40 PM

gweilo8888: FTFA: "Survivors: 'Naked and Afraid' participants Alison Teal-Blehert Koehn and Jonathan Klay found clothing"

Uh-huh. Yeah, they just happened to "find" clothing that just *happens* to look like the stereotypical caveman / wildman clothing, Little-known fact, every desert island comes pre-stocked with a caveman / wildman wardrobe, complete with lopsided dress designed to show off some leg and get the male viewers switched over.


Except no, they didn't, you lying sacks of shiat. The producers handed them clothing and said "Here, pretend you found this."

/I despise reality TV. There is nothing real about it -- every scene is carefully set up, every "argument" is carefully teased out by a series of leading questions that are edited out of the aired footage, and every single thing about it could not be more fake if they tried.


That's why I think we should have acual reality TV. Think "Battle Royal" meets Survivor meets Mad Max. Pretty much dump a bunch of death row convicts in the middle of nowhere, tell them that they have to survive and that the last one remaining gets a pardon, and film what happens.
/am I a sociopath for thinking that Jerry Sandusky getting shot with a crossbow would be hilarious?
 
2013-04-05 08:42:37 PM

GungFu: Nadie_AZ: Stafford, who brings no food, water, clothes, weapons or tools, will have to find and make his own using his bare hands in order to survive during his 60 days on the island.

That first picture shows a steel knife in his hands. That's huge.

You're right, of course, and the Ed Stafford show proves it. I haven't read the article but I have seen the one with the 60 days on an island thing.
He used a shell from a clam to use as a cutting utensil. And it seemed really hard going when he tried to cut down a small tree.

The show itself I have reservations with. Yes, he doesn't bring anything onto the island apart from a camera - and provisions for its use via drop offs from the crew once a week ie batteries etc - really, I think even a dickhead like me without true survival experience but have seen enough tv shows to know how to survive would have made it without too much hassle. In the show, it took Ed 3 or 4 days before he even got a fire going. He failed and left it after previous attempts. That's bullshiat. For a guy who had walked the length of the Amazon, and used to be in the army or something, I kinda expect the fire to be up and running after a few hours of arriving. As for water, he made no attempt to look further into the island for supplies until after a week or so and soley relied on a piddling 'stream' of water coming down a wall.  This is after he saw some wild goats on the island.

Basically, don;t be fooled by what these programs are proclaiming to be. These guys know exactly what to do but will not do it because of the television factor.


Oh, this. I had a friend who got "lost" (read: drunk) while bow-hunting in California, and separated from his party. Now, admittedly he had his bow and some matches; but still, he was eating, had a fire, etc., and was hardly a survival expert. He did fine till the rescue team found him a few days later. You'd think this guy would be A-OK even WITHOUT a fire (howcome, for instance, he's not able to eat raw goat?).

It's because nobody will tune in to see a guy actually surviving. They want the drama of wondering: Did he live till next week OMG? Did he die of hunger or get eaten by hyenas? They wouldn't watch to see him parked under a tree snacking on raw fish, which is what you do when you're "surviving."
 
2013-04-05 08:44:15 PM
Her lady bits look like worms when slightly dipped in the water? :-/ That's enough to ruin it.
 
2013-04-05 08:48:42 PM
hell, I devised a heat exchanger to keep fire geckos alive, but you don't see me whining about it.
 
2013-04-05 08:51:44 PM
I guess she just lays there and waits for a catfish to take up residence. Reverse noodling.
 
2013-04-05 08:51:53 PM
Submitted same story with same link and same headline first. Got a red. Thanks modmins. Love you too.
 
2013-04-05 08:52:36 PM

Richard C Stanford: gweilo8888: FTFA: "Survivors: 'Naked and Afraid' participants Alison Teal-Blehert Koehn and Jonathan Klay found clothing"

Uh-huh. Yeah, they just happened to "find" clothing that just *happens* to look like the stereotypical caveman / wildman clothing, Little-known fact, every desert island comes pre-stocked with a caveman / wildman wardrobe, complete with lopsided dress designed to show off some leg and get the male viewers switched over.


Except no, they didn't, you lying sacks of shiat. The producers handed them clothing and said "Here, pretend you found this."

/I despise reality TV. There is nothing real about it -- every scene is carefully set up, every "argument" is carefully teased out by a series of leading questions that are edited out of the aired footage, and every single thing about it could not be more fake if they tried.

That's why I think we should have acual reality TV. Think "Battle Royal" meets Survivor meets Mad Max. Pretty much dump a bunch of death row convicts in the middle of nowhere, tell them that they have to survive and that the last one remaining gets a pardon, and film what happens.
/am I a sociopath for thinking that Jerry Sandusky getting shot with a crossbow would be hilarious?


www.themoviemind.com

Been done. They nicked my idea.
 
2013-04-05 08:54:49 PM

Fallout Boy: Whore.


Lure
 
2013-04-05 08:56:39 PM
Well. That beats "Hillbilly Handfishing" all to hell, doesn't it?
 
2013-04-05 08:58:15 PM

Mrs.Sharpier: Honest Bender: Is that why your lady parts always smell so fishy?

Also, you're sleeping with the wrong kind if this is a regular phenomenon. Clean and healthy women don't smell fishy.


To be fair, if she was out 2 weeks without soap or hygiene products it might be a little uh....offish.
 
2013-04-05 08:59:33 PM
this really isn't news.
Most women know that if they are in a really tight spot and starving all they have to do is open their legs and something will swim by and feed them.
 
2013-04-05 09:02:56 PM
More fake TV for your mindless pleasure.
 
2013-04-05 09:03:34 PM
Didn't the adult movie industry already do this?
 
2013-04-05 09:06:03 PM
Does anyone else remember when the history channel focused on history, discovery channel on science, and A&e on the arts?

This shiat is retarded.
 
2013-04-05 09:06:24 PM

GungFu: Richard C Stanford: gweilo8888: FTFA: "Survivors: 'Naked and Afraid' participants Alison Teal-Blehert Koehn and Jonathan Klay found clothing"

Uh-huh. Yeah, they just happened to "find" clothing that just *happens* to look like the stereotypical caveman / wildman clothing, Little-known fact, every desert island comes pre-stocked with a caveman / wildman wardrobe, complete with lopsided dress designed to show off some leg and get the male viewers switched over.


Except no, they didn't, you lying sacks of shiat. The producers handed them clothing and said "Here, pretend you found this."

/I despise reality TV. There is nothing real about it -- every scene is carefully set up, every "argument" is carefully teased out by a series of leading questions that are edited out of the aired footage, and every single thing about it could not be more fake if they tried.

That's why I think we should have acual reality TV. Think "Battle Royal" meets Survivor meets Mad Max. Pretty much dump a bunch of death row convicts in the middle of nowhere, tell them that they have to survive and that the last one remaining gets a pardon, and film what happens.
/am I a sociopath for thinking that Jerry Sandusky getting shot with a crossbow would be hilarious?

[www.themoviemind.com image 510x755]

Been done. They nicked my idea.


It's been done as movie like 40 years ago called 'The Tenth Victim'.
 
2013-04-05 09:07:11 PM
So, fish like roast beef?

/The more you know...
 
2013-04-05 09:09:06 PM
Unlikely tag on vacation
 
2013-04-05 09:12:08 PM
nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope

/anyway, I'm a vegetarian
 
2013-04-05 09:12:46 PM

douchebag/hater: It's been done as movie like 40 years ago called 'The Tenth Victim'.


It was also done as DeathRace 2000
 
2013-04-05 09:14:47 PM

DanZero: [img.photobucket.com image 231x130]


What's it called the film? And please tell me that that is a normal Japanese movie and not some weird porn.
 
2013-04-05 09:17:34 PM

bunner: I think I would just raid the catering truck for the audio, cam ops, grips, editors and location mixers.


Or just eat the crew.
 
2013-04-05 09:19:24 PM
The fish was like, "Hey, what smells like me?"
 
2013-04-05 09:24:04 PM
Kinda brings a whole new meaning to fish tacos...
 
2013-04-05 09:25:47 PM
I would watch this if they put them naked with the gigantic coconut crabs on Nikumaroro Island.  Give them coconut-scented sun block and pina coladas and let the circle of life unfold before our eyes. Now THAT would be must see TV.


www.svnereida.com
 
2013-04-05 09:31:06 PM
images.cheezburger.com
 
2013-04-05 09:31:13 PM

Quantum Apostrophe: Makes sense, many women use their between-legs as a meal ticket.


since the dawn of time. old news is well, you know...
 
2013-04-05 09:38:47 PM

Infidel815: That is Busch League subby ! Busch League.


Is that the UK spelling?

/fixed
 
2013-04-05 09:41:55 PM

DerAppie: DanZero: [img.photobucket.com image 231x130]

What's it called the film? And please tell me that that is a normal Japanese movie and not some weird porn.


It's not my image, I stole it from a Fark thread about a year ago. Even reverse image doesn't tell me much about it. But you know Japan and their "normal" stuff.
 
2013-04-05 09:44:02 PM
Sounds like marriage... Or a kinky sex act.

The Slush: [seinfeld]


I laughed out loud and may have to steal that.
 
2013-04-05 09:46:54 PM
Now I've got this image in my head of her flicking her "little man" up and down like an angler fish.
 
2013-04-05 09:51:26 PM

Nadie_AZ: Stafford, who brings no food, water, clothes, weapons or tools, will have to find and make his own using his bare hands in order to survive during his 60 days on the island.

That first picture shows a steel knife in his hands. That's huge.

Interesting idea, however. And she looks better in subsequent pictures.


That's not a "steel knife", it's his "camera". You know, the "only" thing he was dropped on the island with?

The other pictures are of a totally different woman.

People who develop reality TV shows should be dropped naked on remote islands in Tanzania and left to fight it out Hunger Games style, with the last surviving person allowed to live with the condition that they don't go anywhere near television related facilities ever again. Not even a Best Buy.

/IMHO
 
2013-04-05 09:51:29 PM
At this rate, I fully expect we will see some version of "The Running Man" hit television in our lifetime.
 
2013-04-05 09:56:00 PM

ottosmom: At this rate, I fully expect we will see some version of "The Running Man" hit television in our lifetime.


I want to see "Beat the Reaper" - where the contestants are all given a lethal toxin, and the one who answers the most trivia questions wins the antidote.
 
2013-04-05 09:56:17 PM

ottosmom: At this rate, I fully expect we will see some version of "The Running Man" hit television in our lifetime.


I caught the ending on tv back in 2001
 
2013-04-05 10:00:11 PM
fiat500classics.com
 
2013-04-05 10:06:32 PM
Her husband probably suggested this action.  Gross but genius.
 
2013-04-05 10:16:49 PM
The next time the Fark Feminist Brigade tells me to "check my privilege", I'll just point them back to this article.
 
2013-04-05 10:16:53 PM

gweilo8888: , every "argument" is carefully teased out by a series of leading questions that are edited out of the aired footage,


'frankenbites'.

/Boyfriend's bro is a scriptwriter for reality shows
//It pays the bills
 
2013-04-05 10:17:43 PM
what, did she just decide out of the blue to be like 'hey i'm going to just put my lady bits out for show and maybe the fish will like it?'
 
2013-04-05 10:19:28 PM

BlippityBleep: what, did she just decide out of the blue to be like 'hey i'm going to just put my lady bits out for show and maybe the fish will like it?'


Women logic. This is the one in a billion circumstance when it actually worked.
 
2013-04-05 10:22:48 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-04-05 10:30:06 PM

aevorea: /Boyfriend's bro is a scriptwriter for reality shows
//It pays the bills


You know what you have to do, for the sake of humanity.

/end him now.
 
2013-04-05 10:31:16 PM
Let's just pretend this is real. She's attractive enough. Don't you think the first few hours would be him trying to hide a boner?
 
2013-04-05 10:34:42 PM

WhippingBoy: BlippityBleep: what, did she just decide out of the blue to be like 'hey i'm going to just put my lady bits out for show and maybe the fish will like it?'

Women logic. This is the one in a billion circumstance when it actually worked.


I don't know about that. That same logic has trapped me and countless other men, time after time.
And no matter how often we escape, we fall for the same bait, time after time.
 
2013-04-05 10:38:03 PM

sweet-daddy-2: WhippingBoy: BlippityBleep: what, did she just decide out of the blue to be like 'hey i'm going to just put my lady bits out for show and maybe the fish will like it?'

Women logic. This is the one in a billion circumstance when it actually worked.

I don't know about that. That same logic has trapped me and countless other men, time after time.
And no matter how often we escape, we fall for the same bait, time after time.


I stand corrected. You're absolutely right. We could be told exactly how we're about to be taken advantage of, but will jump in with no regards to consequences if the bait is right...
 
2013-04-05 10:57:01 PM
entertainment.ie

Use your private parts as piranha bait...
 
2013-04-05 10:58:38 PM

WhippingBoy: BlippityBleep: what, did she just decide out of the blue to be like 'hey i'm going to just put my lady bits out for show and maybe the fish will like it?'

Women logic. This is the one in a billion circumstance when it actually worked.


Oh man, know how many drunk dudes have tried to fish with their dick? Mind you, this would be in the backwoods and other substances may have been involved.

Horrific image of ghostly white ginger standing in a river still haunting the memory of several.
 
2013-04-05 11:00:14 PM
Set fire to you hair.
Poke a stick at a grizzly bear.
Eat medicine that's out of date
USE YOUR PRIVATE PARTS AS PIRANHA BAIT

Dumb ways to die...so many dome ways to die...
http://www.dumbwaystodie.com
 
2013-04-05 11:03:29 PM
Once you get past the smell, you've got it licked.
 
2013-04-05 11:06:08 PM
cdn.chud.com
 
2013-04-05 11:17:17 PM

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope

/anyway, I'm a vegetarian


Heh-heh, well how YOU doin', fresh-vag?

/this thread gave me pimp tools
 
2013-04-05 11:26:52 PM
They couldn't get the smell out of the fish however.
 
2013-04-05 11:26:54 PM

BarkingUnicorn: 'Survival shows are so common now that it's gotten more and more difficult to convince the audience that what they're watching is something extreme.  Having no clothes just takes it to the next level. It's the ultimate test and makes survival exponentially more difficult.'

Next season:  "Survival of the Handicapped"


Followed by "Survival of the Mentally Handicapped"
 
2013-04-05 11:33:53 PM
the show's executive producer Steve Rankin told the Daily News yesterday from a hospital bed in Costa Rica where he was recovering after being bitten hours earlier by a venomous snake while working on the show.

God that line made me happy.

And fark Fark for supporting the Daily Mail by posting every single article, every single day.
 
2013-04-05 11:34:59 PM
LOL


/Keep up the good work internet.
 
2013-04-05 11:35:10 PM
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comencrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
 
2013-04-05 11:39:12 PM
yep, that's how the last cougar got me, too
 
2013-04-05 11:44:17 PM
Okay, can we just skip to the real-life Hunger Games already? Except let people volunteer for it. As George Carlin observed, tons of people will sign up as long as you promise them a small appliance of some kind. In fact, nowadays people will do just about anything to be famous so you don't even need that.
 
2013-04-05 11:50:10 PM
WTF....AM...READING

That's it, I'm calling in it. Western civilization is done, over, finished, kapoot, jumped the shark, bought the farm, finished its run, the curtain has fallen, and the fat (naked) lady has sung.
 
2013-04-05 11:55:09 PM

Virtuoso80: Okay, can we just skip to the real-life Hunger Games already? Except let people volunteer for it. As George Carlin observed, tons of people will sign up as long as you promise them a small appliance of some kind. In fact, nowadays people will do just about anything to be famous so you don't even need that.


It's called "the inner city", and it's great reading.  Are you a Gangster Disciple, or a 438th Street Blood?  You'd better pick before they're all killed by the 38th Avenue Crew or the Traveling Vice Lords!
 
2013-04-05 11:55:54 PM

gweilo8888: FTFA: "Survivors: 'Naked and Afraid' participants Alison Teal-Blehert Koehn and Jonathan Klay found clothing"

Uh-huh. Yeah, they just happened to "find" clothing that just *happens* to look like the stereotypical caveman / wildman clothing, Little-known fact, every desert island comes pre-stocked with a caveman / wildman wardrobe, complete with lopsided dress designed to show off some leg and get the male viewers switched over.

[img818.imageshack.us image 634x422]
Except no, they didn't, you lying sacks of shiat. The producers handed them clothing and said "Here, pretend you found this."

/I despise reality TV. There is nothing real about it -- every scene is carefully set up, every "argument" is carefully teased out by a series of leading questions that are edited out of the aired footage, and every single thing about it could not be more fake if they tried.


*ahem*

It's a promo shot.  She's wearing flip-flops and has bottled water.
 
2013-04-06 12:02:57 AM
Panama!
 
2013-04-06 12:14:08 AM
FunkOut:

know how many drunk dudes have tried to fish with their dick?

Who needs to be drunk?
 
2013-04-06 12:25:29 AM

The One True TheDavid: FunkOut:

know how many drunk dudes have tried to fish with their dick?

Who needs to be drunk?


www.b15u.com
 
2013-04-06 12:25:41 AM

Bravo Two: Does anyone else remember when the history channel focused on history, discovery channel on science, and A&e on the arts?

This shiat is retarded.


At least A&E hasn't completely lost the plot as far as entertainment goes - most of their original series are fairly safe bets.

Except for The Beast. But you know, I'm not blaming that on Swayze - rather, the other goofy looking motherfarker with the dumbass grin that played his partner.
 
2013-04-06 12:41:54 AM

Clutch2013: Bravo Two: Does anyone else remember when the history channel focused on history, discovery channel on science, and A&e on the arts?

This shiat is retarded.

At least A&E hasn't completely lost the plot as far as entertainment goes - most of their original series are fairly safe bets.

Except for The Beast. But you know, I'm not blaming that on Swayze - rather, the other goofy looking motherfarker with the dumbass grin that played his partner.


Honeybooboo is on The Learning Channel
 
2013-04-06 12:48:20 AM

Oldiron_79: Clutch2013: Bravo Two: Does anyone else remember when the history channel focused on history, discovery channel on science, and A&e on the arts?

This shiat is retarded.

At least A&E hasn't completely lost the plot as far as entertainment goes - most of their original series are fairly safe bets.

Except for The Beast. But you know, I'm not blaming that on Swayze - rather, the other goofy looking motherfarker with the dumbass grin that played his partner.

Honeybooboo is on The Learning Channel


I believe I see what you did there.
 
2013-04-06 12:50:35 AM
Bear Gryll's casually beaning a rabbit with a stick and saying that 'this is common practice' made me want to cry. Having done lots of backpacking I can tell you that a good 70% of the stuff that is casually told to you by 'survivalist experts' is bullocks.
 
2013-04-06 01:05:29 AM

Mentat: *ahem*

It's a promo shot.  She's wearing flip-flops and has bottled water.


Let me repeat the quote, shall I?

"'Naked and Afraid' participants Alison Teal-Blehert Koehn and Jonathan Klay found clothing"

Note: FOUND. How much clothing do you think there is to "find" on the typical deserted island?

Except, they're not really on a deserted island. They're on Funadhoo Island in the Maldives, population 2,900 plus film crew (says Wikipedia) in an area of just 0.3 square miles (says the United Nations). So I'd imagine finding clothes was pretty easy. The producer strolled over to the nearest house, waved some money around, and took whatever clothes looked suitably "native" -- or just brought some over on the flight. (Funadhoo's just 42 miles from the nearest airport.)

Remote, my ass. Survival skills, my ass. Everything about it drips fakeness.
 
2013-04-06 01:08:20 AM
i.imgur.com

Yo so stupid
 
2013-04-06 01:22:05 AM
Still a better love story than Twilight.
 
2013-04-06 01:24:31 AM

gweilo8888: Mentat: *ahem*

It's a promo shot.  She's wearing flip-flops and has bottled water.

Let me repeat the quote, shall I?

"'Naked and Afraid' participants Alison Teal-Blehert Koehn and Jonathan Klay found clothing"

Note: FOUND. How much clothing do you think there is to "find" on the typical deserted island?

Except, they're not really on a deserted island. They're on Funadhoo Island in the Maldives, population 2,900 plus film crew (says Wikipedia) in an area of just 0.3 square miles (says the United Nations). So I'd imagine finding clothes was pretty easy. The producer strolled over to the nearest house, waved some money around, and took whatever clothes looked suitably "native" -- or just brought some over on the flight. (Funadhoo's just 42 miles from the nearest airport.)

Remote, my ass. Survival skills, my ass. Everything about it drips fakeness.


________________________________________________________

There are three atolls in the Maldives that are commonly referred to as "Funadhoo":  Kaafu, Baa, and Shaviyani. Confusing, I know. But the island they're on may be uninhabited.
 
2013-04-06 01:48:51 AM
^^^


(Missing words in that sentence)

There are three different atolls in the Maldives that have islands that are commonly referred to as "Funadhoo" (which is a common place name in the Maldives): Kaafu, Baa, and Shaviyani Atoll. Confusing, I know. But the island they're on may be uninhabited.
 
2013-04-06 01:59:38 AM

AAlumni: There are three atolls in the Maldives that are commonly referred to as "Funadhoo":  Kaafu, Baa, and Shaviyani. Confusing, I know. But the island they're on may be uninhabited.


Kaafu, Baa, and Shaviyani are all populated, according to Wikipedia and other sources. And even if they're on an uninhabited island in one of those atolls, the fact remains that they are absolutely surrounded by inhabited atolls, many of them covered in tourists. It is by no stretch of the imagination remote.

As for the "uninhabited" Olorua Island (where Naked Castaway takes place), btw, it's just ten miles from the nearest Panoramio photo, on the inhabited Komo Island. There are at least three other populated islands within less than 20 miles of Olorua. Again, it is hardly remote.  And I don't believe for one second the guy in that programwas alone and unaided, either.

"There were eight feral goats on the island,"  he says in another Daily Fail  press release "article". And he goes on to say the only water on this 0.36 x 0.5 mile island (area approximately 0.1 - 0.15 square miles courtesy of Photoshop's analysis tool) was a "wet rock" from which he could collect one drop of water every 45 seconds. That's 14 days to get one gallon of water, based on 15,140 drips per gallon. (He claims he had to live off coconuts until it rained; of course, goats can't open coconuts.)

Yet an adult goat needs on average 1.75 gallons of water per day, and if you assume half that for the kids, that's 10.5 gallons the goats need every day to survive, or 147 times what was available to them before he arrived and started drinking it. So either he's lying about the availability of water, or he's lying about them being feral goats, when they were placed there specifically to give him a food source.

Or more likely, he's lying about both.

These programs are completely fictitious, and I'm amazed after the Bear Grylls exposés that anybody falls for this shiat any more.
 
2013-04-06 02:00:14 AM
Err, that should say surrounded by inhabited islands.
 
2013-04-06 02:25:14 AM

another cultural observer: Virtuoso80: Okay, can we just skip to the real-life Hunger Games already? Except let people volunteer for it. As George Carlin observed, tons of people will sign up as long as you promise them a small appliance of some kind. In fact, nowadays people will do just about anything to be famous so you don't even need that.

It's called "the inner city", and it's great reading.  Are you a Gangster Disciple, or a 438th Street Blood?  You'd better pick before they're all killed by the 38th Avenue Crew or the Traveling Vice Lords!


Hmm, you're right. There's no need to fly people to the middle of nowhere, or create artificial wastelands for battlegrounds - we already have Detroit, or Rio De Janeiro. Hook up each gang with a corporate sponsor, rig everything with wireless cameras...I think we might have a gold mine on our hands.
 
2013-04-06 02:39:18 AM

whither_apophis: Fallout Boy: Whore.

Lure


C'mon, say it. She's a hooker
 
2013-04-06 04:25:57 AM
I got an idea.

Take an ordinary guy no training whatsoever, and throw him in the amazon/desert/whatever. Don't even pretend the production crew isn't there to bail him out. Make a survival show out of this guy LEARNING and putting into practice all the shiat the production team already knows. They'd tell him stuff, he'd have a consultant telling him how to survive, but in the end he'd be the one actually doing all the survival stuff. And actually DOING IT, not staying in a hotel between shootings.

Maybe even make a game show out of it, and they win a prize if they go a full week without giving up or getting injured. Call it the $10,000 Survival Challenge.

I'd watch it. Hell, I'd go on it.
 
2013-04-06 04:31:29 AM

AAlumni: I would watch this if they put them naked with the gigantic coconut crabs on Nikumaroro Island.  Give them coconut-scented sun block and pina coladas and let the circle of life unfold before our eyes. Now THAT would be must see TV.


[www.svnereida.com image 518x389]


"Dad-a-chum? Dum-a-chum? Ded-a-chek? Did-a-chick?"
 
2013-04-06 05:14:40 AM

DanZero: DerAppie: DanZero: [img.photobucket.com image 231x130]

What's it called the film? And please tell me that that is a normal Japanese movie and not some weird porn.

It's not my image, I stole it from a Fark thread about a year ago. Even reverse image doesn't tell me much about it. But you know Japan and their "normal" stuff.


Yes, Japanese normal gives us masterpieces like RoboGeisha where buildings bleed. If the movie from the image is even half as much fun to watch It would be worth it.
 
2013-04-06 07:09:25 AM

BarkingUnicorn: 'Survival shows are so common now that it's gotten more and more difficult to convince the audience that what they're watching is something extreme.  Having no clothes just takes it to the next level. It's the ultimate test and makes survival exponentially more difficult.'


Which it doesn't, of course, because we know that there is a film crew there who will step in if any of the participants (who have lawyers, or can get 'em) approach real danger.
 
2013-04-06 07:09:38 AM
At what point do people at the Discovery Channel start getting embarrassed about what they're programming?

//History Channel, too.
 
2013-04-06 08:16:56 AM
So "If it smells like fish, take the dish" works on fish as well?
 
2013-04-06 08:18:33 AM

Wolf892: AAlumni: I would watch this if they put them naked with the gigantic coconut crabs on Nikumaroro Island.  Give them coconut-scented sun block and pina coladas and let the circle of life unfold before our eyes. Now THAT would be must see TV.


[www.svnereida.com image 518x389]

"Dad-a-chum? Dum-a-chum? Ded-a-chek? Did-a-chick?"


"Did a chick" is about right.

Now I know how Roland really lost those fingers
 
2013-04-06 08:21:33 AM

bigworld2000: At what point do people at the Discovery Channel start getting embarrassed about what they're programming?

//History Channel, too.


When idiots stop tuning in and buying shiat the advertisers promote.
 
2013-04-06 08:22:59 AM
A red snapper trapper.
 
2013-04-06 09:26:20 AM
I thought she looked familiar.
 
2013-04-06 10:00:17 AM

Some 'Splainin' To Do: BarkingUnicorn: 'Survival shows are so common now that it's gotten more and more difficult to convince the audience that what they're watching is something extreme.  Having no clothes just takes it to the next level. It's the ultimate test and makes survival exponentially more difficult.'

Next season:  "Survival of the Handicapped"

Followed by "Survival of the Mentally Handicapped"


I can see how that would turn out:
"Durrhurrhuurr, teddy bear. Me want pet big teddy bear duhhh."
"Oww, fire hot. Me burning."
"Drink wawa from puddle. Now no feel good. Poopey all squishy and red."
"Hurrhurr bees. Me throw rock at."
 
2013-04-06 10:13:17 AM
bigworld2000

At what point do people at the Discovery Channel start getting embarrassed about what they're programming?
//History Channel, too.



The Onion has your answer: http://www.theonion.com/articles/science-channel-refuses-to-dumb-down - science-any-f,2897/
 
2013-04-06 10:37:13 AM
i.imgur.com

/I see we've got everything covered already
 
2013-04-06 10:38:58 AM

gweilo8888: AAlumni: There are three atolls in the Maldives that are commonly referred to as "Funadhoo":  Kaafu, Baa, and Shaviyani. Confusing, I know. But the island they're on may be uninhabited.

Kaafu, Baa, and Shaviyani are all populated, according to Wikipedia and other sources.


_______________

 There are uninhabited islands within the Baa Atoll and Kaafu Atoll named Funadhoo.
 
2013-04-06 10:39:45 AM
Did she catch two in the pink and one in the stink?
 
2013-04-06 10:49:52 AM
Ann Coulter write an autobiography?
 
Ab3
2013-04-06 11:59:18 AM
"Looks like they're takin' the skin boat to tunatown."
 
2013-04-06 12:16:32 PM
Just adapted the technique for hunting men.
 
2013-04-06 12:21:14 PM

Honest Bender: Is that why your lady parts always smell so fishy?


Looks to me like they're on fire
 
2013-04-06 12:43:31 PM
AAlumni:There are uninhabited islands within the Baa Atoll and Kaafu Atoll named Funadhoo.

Try reading my post (and the immediate followup correction to a brain fart) next time.

I said myself that "even if they're on an uninhabited island in one of those atolls, the fact remains that they are absolutely surrounded by inhabited atolls islands, many of them covered in tourists."

I stand by my earlier assertion: it is by no stretch of the imagination remote. If it was, then you know what? I've been on plenty of desert islands myself, too. Just because you find a small strip of sand and shrub that's a short kayak trip from the tourist resort and camp on it for a few weeks, that doesn't mean you've camped on a desert island. That means you've camped on a beach nobody else noticed at the tourist resort.
 
2013-04-06 01:24:42 PM
If you walk without rhythm, you won't attract the worm
 
2013-04-06 01:31:28 PM

gweilo8888: AAlumni:There are uninhabited islands within the Baa Atoll and Kaafu Atoll named Funadhoo.

Try reading my post (and the immediate followup correction to a brain fart) next time.

I said myself that "even if they're on an uninhabited island in one of those atolls, the fact remains that they are absolutely surrounded by inhabited atolls islands, many of them covered in tourists."

I stand by my earlier assertion: it is by no stretch of the imagination remote. If it was, then you know what? I've been on plenty of desert islands myself, too. Just because you find a small strip of sand and shrub that's a short kayak trip from the tourist resort and camp on it for a few weeks, that doesn't mean you've camped on a desert island. That means you've camped on a beach nobody else noticed at the tourist resort.


___________________

Try reading your posts? lmao!

* I read your original post (the one that definitively stated that they were on a populated island of 2900 and the producer could walk over to a house and buy some clothes, etc).

* I ALSO read your post where you replied to my comment and informed me that Kaafu, Baa, and Shaviyani are all populated.

To both, my only comment to you was that THERE ARE UNINHABITED ISLANDS IN THE MALDIVES NAMED FUNADHOO. There are at least two. It's a common name there.

Now, to your assertion on whether or not being dropped on an uninhabited island, naked and without  supplies, that is a kayak ride away from civilization is difficult, the answer is...it depends: Does the island have the following:  (1) potable water, (2) good weather, and (3) communication/contact with the outside? If the answer is 'yes' to all of those questions, then odds are it isn't as much of a life-and-death experience as the producers would want you believe - but make no mistake: it could still be miserable.


/Been to the Maldives
//Beautiful
///Won't watch the show
 
2013-04-06 01:32:54 PM

Fano: If you walk without rhythm, you won't attract the worm


Fear is the mind-killer.
 
2013-04-06 03:25:52 PM
ch3guest.files.wordpress.com

Laughs at your shenanigans.

If you can't walk the walk, GTFO.
 
2013-04-06 06:12:16 PM
Comment thread too boring and pic-less: Better drink my piss!
 
2013-04-07 09:19:11 AM
If I never see anything on FARK again, it will all have been worth it to hear the "Grandma's shrimp" joke
 
2013-04-08 11:23:08 AM
What is the point of these shows? Most people around the world have no training and wouldn't last more than a few days "in the wild" even after watching these shows, those of us that have had survival training do not really care to relive the experience? What do I care anymore since I no longer have TV service?
 
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