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(Slate)   English major accepts reality, inquires if thou dost desire a portion of a potato-based comestible of substantial magnitude with thine meal   (slate.com) divider line 27
    More: Obvious, Ph.D., Ron Rosenbaum, English, literature, Kafka, meals  
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8074 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Apr 2013 at 3:55 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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Archived thread
2013-04-05 04:10:29 PM  
3 votes:
i1003.photobucket.com
2013-04-05 04:07:12 PM  
3 votes:
I thought we'd be riffing off Gilbert and Sullivan lines in this thread...

"I am the very model of a modern Major General,
I provide a portion of a fine potato-based comestible"
2013-04-05 02:55:16 PM  
3 votes:
There's a big difference between an English major (BA) and a PhD in Literature. As long as software companies continue to hire H1-Bs, people with English degrees and a bit of technical knowledge can find decent jobs. A PhD in literature is what happens when you are terrified of graduating and are willing to shell out six figures to stay in school.
2013-04-05 06:26:16 PM  
2 votes:

Pumpernickel bread: Restating once again what should be obvious to everyone - don't go into any field where the only outlet for employment is academia.


Or macadamia. 'Cause that would be nuts.
2013-04-05 04:53:55 PM  
2 votes:
As tenured faculty I'm getting a kick out of these replies...
2013-04-05 04:35:19 PM  
2 votes:

pedobearapproved: The_Gallant_Gallstone: HailRobonia: This only works if everyone gets rid of tenure. If you get rid of tenure and another institution keeps it, then they will get all the talented folks.

Same reason why we have to keep paying CEOs those obscene bonuses... top talent and all that.

we? you don't pay them anything. go suck on a lemon.

/maybe you shouldn't have dropped that econ 101 class.



austinist.com

"Why are you teaching this shiat at 8 o'clock in the morning? Are you trying to keep it a secret?"
2013-04-05 04:15:44 PM  
2 votes:
BWAH-HA-HA!  That person thinks that literature grad school is "the hardest work you'll ever do".  That's why you didn't get employed, young lady.  You thought literature grad school was "the hardest work you'll ever do".  You have no idea what hard work is.

Boy that's funny.
2013-04-05 04:01:12 PM  
2 votes:
[The] English major accepts reality, inquires if thou dost desire a portion of a potato-based comestible of substantial magnitude with thine meal

...and then single-handedly slays the Music tab with his unrelenting douchebaggery.
2013-04-05 03:58:45 PM  
2 votes:
She could write for a blog.
2013-04-05 03:57:26 PM  
2 votes:
I thought they called them pommes frites to sound all Frenchy and intellectual.
2013-04-05 03:52:58 PM  
2 votes:
I have a hard time mustering any sympathy for a PhD in Literature who doesn't know the correct term in our language is academe not academia.
2013-04-06 04:14:17 AM  
1 votes:

Jubeebee: There's a big difference between an English major (BA) and a PhD in Literature. As long as software companies continue to hire H1-Bs, people with English degrees and a bit of technical knowledge can find decent jobs. A PhD in literature is what happens when you are terrified of graduating and are willing to shell out six figures to stay in school.


What's the difference between a PhD in Literature and a medium pizza?

The pizza can feed a family of four.
2013-04-05 07:06:13 PM  
1 votes:

pedobearapproved: Explodo:

You had to read something, understand it, and talk about it. Sometimes you had to explain that information to others... yeah, hardest thing ever.


And yet, thousands of college Freshmen find that task impossible (to judge from the papers I have had to grade).
2013-04-05 06:09:54 PM  
1 votes:

OgreMagi: Seriously? You want a bunch of teenage boys to actually read that snore-fest?


Actually that may be what the current generation needs. The millenials were taught that everything they did is special, and we're turning out to be a generation of self-entitled jackasses who won't do any actual work until we're broke (all the while, complaining). Maybe the next generation needs a nice dose of reality - that most of the time, you're going to be doing something you'd rather not be doing as an adult (whether that's taking a menial boring job to make ends meet, or reading a book even the over-imaginative victorian society would have found snoozeworthy..)
2013-04-05 05:49:06 PM  
1 votes:
Well, what if I told you that by "five hours" I mean "80 hours," and by "summers off" I mean "two months of unpaid research sequestration and curriculum planning"?

It took a PhD to get taken off guard by this?
2013-04-05 05:43:55 PM  
1 votes:
Unrepentant University Dropout here.  I was a Comparative Literature Major at the University of Illinois in the mid-1990s.  I found my way to that major completely by accident and dropped out after 3 years, but I've got to say that the experience probably taught me more about real life than any amount of work I've done in the 16 years since then.  When I was in high school I went from wanting to be a pilot to a lawyer to a high-school English teacher.  I was inspired by the middle-aged, bearded, Hemingway and Vonnegut-admiring, possibly-alcoholic man who was my junior year English teacher.   My first two years of college were completed at a community college, where I majored in LAS with a concentration in British and American Literature.  I breezed through it.

However, after I transferred to the U of I, I quickly became aware that I was out of my league.  I had a couple of gen ed requirements that I had to finish up during my first semester, so I could only take three courses that applied to my major- Shakespeare Across Cultures, Middle French Literature, and The Harlem and Celtic Renaissance.  Shakespeare Across Cultures taught me that the stereotype of the lecherous, drunken professor hitting on coeds while plying them with wine and wearing a tweed jacket with suede sleeves was based on reality.  Middle French Literature taught me that I was wholly unprepared to study in a deadish language that I didn't know well.  The Harlem and Celtic Renaissance taught me that you can sometimes have a course taught by two tenured professors who figured out that if you combined two related courses into one you could both get full pay for doing half the work simply because you're considered to be an expert in your field.  All of my courses taught me that you have to be present to BS your way through them, but if you are present, it's easy to BS your way through them.  Unfortunately, I learned those lessons too late.

I also learned that pretentious people are often very insecure, college girls fark like minxes, and that you can live off of coffee, cigarettes and Guinness for 3-4 weeks at a time.
2013-04-05 05:19:48 PM  
1 votes:
What you do isn't work, what I do is work.  I mean, my simplistic view of what your life might entail trumps your simplistic view of what my life might entail.  I deserve what I have, you don't.
2013-04-05 04:37:57 PM  
1 votes:
I don't see the problem. Someone with her qualifications would have no trouble finding a top-flight job in either the food service or housekeeping industries.
2013-04-05 04:36:17 PM  
1 votes:

over_and_done: I never understood the "tenure track" thing.  After reading this article from start to finish, I still don't understand it.


There's not much to understand. For the six or so years that you're "tenure track" you're on a yearly or biyearly contract. You have annual reviews in which you summarize everything you've done for the previous year and attach copies of stuff you've published, teaching evaluations, and so on. If your department's colleagues like you and what you've done, they renew your contract for another year or two. At the end of the tenure track period, you put together a binder to show what you've done for n years, which is really just your annual reports rewritten to reflect a longer period of time. If your colleagues and the administration above them agree that your publishing/teaching record is good enough and they wouldn't mind spending the rest of their careers hanging out with you at meetings every week, you might get tenure.

/Former professor, recovering academic
2013-04-05 04:27:48 PM  
1 votes:

FrancoFile: Let's do some math.

With a few exceptions, the point of a humanities PhD is to teach that subject at a university.

Assuming a constant population and a constant proportion that attends college, then every humanities PhD needs to train one (1) replacement, over the course of his or her entire career.

Even if we assume population growth, a steady increase in college attendance, and 'exporting' our professors to other countries, at best each PhD needs to train three (3) replacements over the course of his or her entire career.

An English department of 8 professors and 14 PhD candidates is running a Ponzi scheme.


Plenty of Humanities departments are at colleges and universities that do not produce Humanities PhDs. I know at least 8, and I'm not even in the field.

Perhaps you should give up math. Have you considered the humanities?
2013-04-05 04:25:39 PM  
1 votes:
The British staple of fish & chips (chips being chipped potatoes, AKA french fries) was invented only in 1865.

The french fry as we know it originated somewhat earlier in Belgium, where they eat them with mayonnaise, which is also customary in the American South.

Tomato ketchup is but one of many recipes for catsups or ketchups (the original dish was made with fish paste, but other forms of ketchup are made with a base of mushrooms, walnuts, etc.)

Shakespeare could not have sold french fries even if he hadn't made a good living as part-owner of the Globe, actor, playwright and man of busynesse.

What did people eat as snack food in those days? The potato was still fairly new. Bananas arrived in London earlier than we used to think, so Shakespeare might have noshed on one of those although any one of many varieties of apple, such as the Orange Pippin, would have been easy to get.

For a hot treat, roast chestnuts were, and still are, popular in much of Europe. They are quite tasty and healthy. The Swiss make chocolats in the shape of "marrons", which is the the French for chestnut, and we get the colour Maroon from them--it is a deep reddish brown.

Maroon is also the name of runaway slaves who hide in the jungles and forest of the Caribbean and the Southern coast and combined their various languages and cultures into a sort of improvised African tribal society. And, of course, it is how Bugs Bunny famously pronounces "moron".

In the Globe theatre, the spectators would have had their choice of oranges, nuts, and chestnuts to nibble on or throw at the actors. Since they had no plastic or cellophane wrappers to rustle and annoy other spectators, they had to make do with other bad habits. The rich and near-sighted were able to sit on the stage itself where they could enjoy the show above the fray in the pit, which was standing room only and full of pickpockets and villains.

And what the Hell is wrong with being a permi-student, by the way? Learning is a life long job. You might as well try to make the good times last as long as you can.

It is not the scholars who bring shame to the Academy. It is the dumbasses who stay on to get a degree in teaching. Really, how sad and useless can you get?

At least English majors can sometimes read and write.

A study funded many years ago by a major bank (Bank of America) and a major employer of engineers found that Arts majors had a rough start in business but after 15 years of employment were better paid and had more responsible positions than Commerce and Engineering students.

It is a very dumb engineer who does not wish he had taken English instead. Do you know what they call Engineers who can read and right? Managers.
2013-04-05 04:12:05 PM  
1 votes:
Let's do some math.

With a few exceptions, the point of a humanities PhD is to teach that subject at a university.

Assuming a constant population and a constant proportion that attends college, then every humanities PhD needs to train one (1) replacement, over the course of his or her entire career.

Even if we assume population growth, a steady increase in college attendance, and 'exporting' our professors to other countries, at best each PhD needs to train three (3) replacements over the course of his or her entire career.

An English department of 8 professors and 14 PhD candidates is running a Ponzi scheme.
2013-04-05 04:12:02 PM  
1 votes:

FrancoFile: I thought we'd be riffing off Gilbert and Sullivan lines in this thread...

"I am the very model of a modern Major General,
I provide a portion of a fine potato-based comestible"


And now I have Every Major's Terrible stuck in my head.  Dammit.
2013-04-05 04:07:30 PM  
1 votes:
Rebecca Schuman is a visiting assistant professor of German at THE Ohio State University.

Fixed it for her.
2013-04-05 04:03:17 PM  
1 votes:

Mr_Fabulous: [The] English major accepts reality, inquires if thou dost desire a portion of a potato-based comestible of substantial magnitude with thine meal

...and then single-handedly slays the Music tab with his unrelenting douchebaggery.


Hey, he could have said "repast".
2013-04-05 04:02:55 PM  
1 votes:
"two months of unpaid research sequestration and curriculum planning"

Thanks, Obama.
2013-04-05 03:32:51 PM  
1 votes:
It's hard to get tenure when everyone gets fired after only nine years.
 
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