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(BBC)   Please note: If you request time off for the deaths of your parents, uncle, aunt, brother and ex-husband, you're either going to be fired for lying, or for being bad luck to be around   (bbc.co.uk) divider line 64
    More: Stupid, mental health act, Solihull, social workers  
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7878 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Apr 2013 at 1:29 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-05 04:30:24 PM

CaptSacto: Wanted for questioning
[3.bp.blogspot.com image 720x480]


"Klinger, aren't you ashamed of yourself?"
"Yes, sir. I don't deserve to be in the Army!"
 
2013-04-05 04:31:19 PM
Bollocks, missed the "in" there. Must stop these attempts to post quickly.

So it's:

Tomatoes, Malt Vinegar (from Barley), Molasses, Glucose-Fructose Syrup, Spirit Vinegar, Sugar, Dates, Modified Cornflower, Rye Flour, Salt, Spices, Flavourings, Tamarind.
 
2013-04-05 04:33:52 PM

zabadu: I think you've attended enough and give you a pass to skip whichever ones you want to from now on.


But if you don't go to other people's funerals, they won't go to yours!
 
2013-04-05 04:35:32 PM
That sounds like all of the best parts of mustard and Worcestershire sauce combined, with (almost) none of the bad parts.  More sauces should have tamarind as an ingredient.

And the best part of all?  I can reliably pronounce it!

/"How many syllables are spoken aloud in 'Worcestershire sauce'?"
//is a trick question
///no matter the correct answer, I'm always wrong
 
2013-04-05 04:43:07 PM

over_and_done: That sounds like all of the best parts of mustard and Worcestershire sauce combined, with (almost) none of the bad parts.  More sauces should have tamarind as an ingredient.

And the best part of all?  I can reliably pronounce it!

/"How many syllables are spoken aloud in 'Worcestershire sauce'?"
//is a trick question
///no matter the correct answer, I'm always wrong


Four. Wuss-tush-her sauce.
 
2013-04-05 05:19:53 PM

sephjnr: Four. Wuss-tush-her sauce.


See, I've heard between three (Whoos-ter, with the first sound like the opening of "wind" not "who") and six (Woor-ches-sest-ter-shur), both spoken by native British.  The only word that I could immediately identify was the "...sauce" at the end.  And the six-syllable person added an 'r' to that one ("sorss", almost two syllables itself).  There's probably a reasonable explanation, or at least amusing anecdote, relating the pronunciation to the regions of the country in which they were raised, but I don't know where those places were.

These days I don't take any chances, and merely point to the bottle while pretending to sneeze.
 
2013-04-05 05:44:50 PM
spentmiles:
I don't care if all you could hold up was a jawless head with a dangling, wet brain stem, dripping with ejaculate.  If you went to the doctor, you'd bring back a sick note.  If you went on vacation, you'd have a signed permission slip from me to authorize it.  Why wouldn't you be required to provide some proof that you attended a funeral?  I'm the one that has to scramble around and find someone to fill your shift.  The calls don't stop coming just because your sweet dear mother passed away.  Perhaps she would've lived had she possessed the simple dignity to teach you how the world works.

Ya went full retard, son.  Never go full retard.
 
2013-04-05 06:34:39 PM

texdent: Done in 3.


Qft
 
2013-04-05 06:48:43 PM

BarkingUnicorn: spentmiles: When I was manager of large call center - 350 people per shift, four shifts - I required a picture of the employee with the deceased.

Pics can be 'shopped.  Should have required a finger.


When I was the manager of a call centre I demanded to go to the funeral, and they had to pay the dry cleaning charges for my suit
 
2013-04-05 07:00:35 PM
I need the weekend off.

Grandma died.

Again?

Uh ... yeah?
 
2013-04-05 07:55:25 PM

spentmiles: When I was manager of large call center - 350 people per shift, four shifts - I required a picture of the employee with the deceased.


That's cold.
 
2013-04-06 12:31:26 AM
That'd be me...

Dad, Grandma, two aunts, a sister in one year starting on my birthday.  Yesterday, my mom was sent to the hospital unconscious.

I don't have any friends and I'm thinking that's probably for the best.
 
2013-04-06 11:57:32 AM
I do love counting the spentmiles haul.
 
2013-04-06 11:13:49 PM
Came for Klinger.  Well done... Here's the bit.

This came from the episode Mail Call - in Season 2!  It is one of the funniest episodes, and the first of three mail call episodes.
The quote goes like this...
Henry (pulling out Klinger's file): Here we go. Father dying, right?
Klinger: Yes, sir.
Henry (going through letters in Klinger's file): Father dying, last year. Mother dying, last year. Mother and father dying. Mother, father and older sister dying. Mother dying and older sister pregnant. Older sister dying and mother pregnant. Younger sister pregnant and older sister dying. Here's an oldie but a goodie: half of the family dying, other half pregnant. (puts file down) Klinger aren't you ashamed of yourself?
Klinger: Yes sir. I don't deserve to be in the Army.
 
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