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(ESPN)   Auburn caught hiding the fact that they were trying to create the Kwisatz Haderach   (espn.go.com) divider line 57
    More: Asinine, Kwisatz Haderach, intercollegiate athletics, Chizik, synthetic marijuana, sports medicines, drug tests, Michael Dyer, drug culture  
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2299 clicks; posted to Sports » on 05 Apr 2013 at 10:40 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-05 08:48:15 AM
"Cheating in the $EC? I don't believe it," said no one, ever.
 
2013-04-05 09:22:03 AM
Good one, subby.
 
2013-04-05 09:52:17 AM
The spice must flow ...

/ subby
 
2013-04-05 10:41:19 AM
They beat you while high, Oregon.

Ouch.
 
2013-04-05 10:46:45 AM
Very good subby.

+1
 
2013-04-05 10:50:58 AM
The sleeper has awakened.
 
2013-04-05 10:55:32 AM
Have they seen the Golden Path?
 
2013-04-05 11:01:51 AM
4.bp.blogspot.com

Meanwhile, back at Georgia, Ugga is getting ready for the next big game too....
 
2013-04-05 11:02:10 AM
Well to be fair, the yokels in Alabama likely do fear thinking machines.  That said, the problem is in the end you end up some giant slug that can see the future and wants to marry cute young human girls.  It's a bit overrated by the end of it all to say the least.
 
2013-04-05 11:03:53 AM

ha-ha-guy: Well to be fair, the yokels in Alabama likely do fear thinking machines.


Not only do they avoid creating a machine that imitates the human brain, they avoid creating human brains that imitate the human brain.
 
2013-04-05 11:13:12 AM

imapirate: "Cheating in the $EC? I don't believe it," said no one, ever.


Since the last teams to be caught were in the pac 10 this comment is stupid.
 
2013-04-05 11:13:32 AM

Cymbal: The sleeper has awakened.


...... and has a severe case of the munchies.
 
2013-04-05 11:20:05 AM
Because synthetic marijuana was new, Jacobs contended in an interview, it was not yet part of the university's official drug-testing policy and therefore not something coaches could punish students for using.

Yeah, but if we weren't such assholes about marijuana use, maybe K-2 would never have caught on.

I can't get too outraged about this, except by 2011 those kids should have been sufficiently aware about the potential dangers of synthetics.  North Carolina knew enough about K-2 by 2011 to ban it, and that was after it had been on the market for a couple of years.

/knew a couple of people that tried it, they quit after it started giving one guy crazy heart rate spikes
 
2013-04-05 11:23:35 AM
This seems to be approaching death-penalty status. If they didn't play in the SEC, that is.
 
2013-04-05 11:26:02 AM
Who gives a crap about kids getting caught smoking weed.

Although this guy:

"The whole time, I was thinking, 'They can't do nothing about the spice.'" -- Dakota Mosley, former Auburn TE, after failing seven straight tests for synthetic marijuana

There is no way he is staying eligible without some off-the-books help.

 
2013-04-05 11:31:31 AM
FTFA:
The school did not implement testing for the drug until after it won the national championship in January
2011, and as many as a dozen other seniors who used synthetic marijuana were never caught, the investigation also found.


From the Auburn Athletic's Director:
Auburn Athletics began testing its student-athletes for synthetic marijuana three days after a test became available. Since our drug testing policy was amended to include synthetic marijuana as a banned substance, there have been three positive tests for the drug out of more than 2,500 drug tests administered.


Another  B.S. non-story from ESPN.  Must be a day that ends in 'y'.
 
2013-04-05 11:32:50 AM

Lost Thought 00: This seems to be approaching death-penalty status. If they didn't play in the SEC, that is.


The NCAA has said they will never impose the death penalty for a program again because of the devastation it caused SMU. And that program deserved it but it killed the program for 10 years while destroying the old big 8.
 
2013-04-05 11:33:45 AM
i haven't watched "Dune" in at least a decade, but i remember seeing it and thinking it was pretty damn cool.  i've always said that one of the problems with it  is it was released when ROTJ was still fresh in the culture's memory, and people wanted cute robots and lightsabers and "gadgets" when the story, not the special effects, is the key to "Dune".  so people said it sucked when it really didn't.

but i'd have to see it again to see if it holds up or i'm just full of shiat.
 
2013-04-05 11:33:49 AM

steamingpile: imapirate: "Cheating in the $EC? I don't believe it," said no one, ever.

Since the last teams to be caught were in the pac 10 this comment is stupid.


Really?? Huh, that's weird. Mostly because it's not true in any way. Unless you mean years ago, ya know, when it WAS the pac 10. And even then USC is only one team. They never found Oregon guilty of doing anything. Yeah, yeah, the investigation is still ongoing and sanctions could be coming, blah, blah. Those allegations came out YEARS ago and nothing has been done.
 
2013-04-05 11:36:59 AM
As an Oklahoma fan, I'm suprised and confused by this cheating.

We Oklahomans are simple cave-men folk who are are amazed by your cheating ways.

Maybe you could call Barry Switzer and give him a run down or a how to so he can get with Bob Stoops.
 
2013-04-05 11:40:36 AM

rickythepenguin: i haven't watched "Dune" in at least a decade, but i remember seeing it and thinking it was pretty damn cool.  i've always said that one of the problems with it  is it was released when ROTJ was still fresh in the culture's memory, and people wanted cute robots and lightsabers and "gadgets" when the story, not the special effects, is the key to "Dune".  so people said it sucked when it really didn't.

but i'd have to see it again to see if it holds up or i'm just full of shiat.


It reruns on BBCA constantly. It doesn't hold up
 
2013-04-05 11:41:04 AM
Meanwhile, at LSU, a Heisman Trophy finalist tested positive for synthetic marijuana and was kicked off the team.  Had he been at Auburn we would never have heard about it.

LSU may have some problems somewhere in the organization, but they don't put up with this kind of crap.
 
2013-04-05 11:49:09 AM

Lost Thought 00: rickythepenguin: i haven't watched "Dune" in at least a decade, but i remember seeing it and thinking it was pretty damn cool.  i've always said that one of the problems with it  is it was released when ROTJ was still fresh in the culture's memory, and people wanted cute robots and lightsabers and "gadgets" when the story, not the special effects, is the key to "Dune".  so people said it sucked when it really didn't.

but i'd have to see it again to see if it holds up or i'm just full of shiat.

It reruns on BBCA constantly. It doesn't hold up


Which version? The extended directors cut is actually very good and unlike the theatrical version, can be followed without having read the books.

The theatrical version was a disaster as it was edited down far too much.
 
2013-04-05 12:05:48 PM

rcf1105: There is no way he is staying eligible without some off-the-books help.


He's been off the team for 2 years and is about to get 15 years for armed robbery.
 
2013-04-05 12:16:11 PM
i1182.photobucket.com

Who knew that Auburn had the best s**t?
 
2013-04-05 12:34:16 PM

T-Boy: Meanwhile, at LSU, a Heisman Trophy finalist tested positive for synthetic marijuana and was kicked off the team.  Had he been at Auburn we would never have heard about it.

LSU may have some problems somewhere in the organization, but they don't put up with this kind of crap.


Well, he tested positive several times.
 
2013-04-05 12:37:54 PM
Is this a problem?  I don't feel like spice or pot is a big performance enhancer for pro sports.
 
2013-04-05 12:40:08 PM
I wonder if this will finally create the water of death for Auburn?
 
2013-04-05 01:39:15 PM

JolobinSmokin: As an Oklahoma fan, I'm suprised and confused by this cheating.

We Oklahomans are simple cave-men folk who are are amazed by your cheating ways.

Maybe you could call Barry Switzer and give him a run down or a how to so he can get with Bob Stoops.


Are you farking kidding me?

 i408.photobucket.com

i105.photobucket.com

\Can't spell poop without Stoops.
 
2013-04-05 01:42:39 PM

Lost Thought 00: This seems to be approaching death-penalty status. If they didn't play in the SEC, that is.


If they don't implement the death penalty for enabling and covering up child rape, they're not going to do it for fake pot.
 
2013-04-05 01:44:11 PM

Maud Dib: JolobinSmokin: As an Oklahoma fan, I'm suprised and confused by this cheating.

We Oklahomans are simple cave-men folk who are are amazed by your cheating ways.

Maybe you could call Barry Switzer and give him a run down or a how to so he can get with Bob Stoops.

Are you farking kidding me?

 [i408.photobucket.com image 320x264]

[i105.photobucket.com image 300x225]

\Can't spell poop without Stoops.


assuming you get rid of a few letters, which sort of makes that sentence crap.
 
2013-04-05 01:47:27 PM

Maud Dib: JolobinSmokin: As an Oklahoma fan, I'm suprised and confused by this cheating.

We Oklahomans are simple cave-men folk who are are amazed by your cheating ways.

Maybe you could call Barry Switzer and give him a run down or a how to so he can get with Bob Stoops.

Are you farking kidding me?

 [i408.photobucket.com image 320x264]

[i105.photobucket.com image 300x225]

\Can't spell poop without Stoops.


Was there a loud pop and wooshing sound as that went over your head?
 
2013-04-05 01:48:34 PM

Incog_Neeto: Is this a problem?  I don't feel like spice or pot is a big performance enhancer for pro sports.


Having oracular abilities enhanced by melange would be a huge performance boost.
 
2013-04-05 02:16:54 PM

Lamadin: steamingpile: imapirate: "Cheating in the $EC? I don't believe it," said no one, ever.

Since the last teams to be caught were in the pac 10 this comment is stupid.

Really?? Huh, that's weird. Mostly because it's not true in any way. Unless you mean years ago, ya know, when it WAS the pac 10. And even then USC is only one team. They never found Oregon guilty of doing anything. Yeah, yeah, the investigation is still ongoing and sanctions could be coming, blah, blah. Those allegations came out YEARS ago and nothing has been done.


Actually it wasn't that long ago and the USC investigation took years then stripped the title, kinda convenient that the HC jumps just like Carroll. Like he knows something is coming down so let's cash in now.

No matter what you say, the pac-whatever was fhe last team penalized severely so to lay the label "cheating" sec is just a lie.
 
2013-04-05 02:20:20 PM
came for Dune cat

/leaving disappointed.

Shai Hulud
 
2013-04-05 02:30:15 PM
What's going on here?
 
2013-04-05 02:46:49 PM

ksobby: The spice must flow ...

/ subby


The joy of Fark.  It's an online community for guys and gals who like whatever they like: sci-fi and sports?  Why not!
 
2013-04-05 02:52:32 PM
Breeding the kwisatz haderach was a multi-generational incestuous plot to crea....  oh, wait, this does sound like Auburn...
 
2013-04-05 02:54:20 PM
I'm for the death penalty when it comes to murderers, rapists, people who post pictures of shiat on facebook claiming that a like will either earn you money or save someones life, and Auburn football.
 
2013-04-05 03:38:40 PM

steamingpile: No matter what you say, the pac-whatever was fhe last team penalized severely so to lay the label "cheating" sec is just a lie.


I could've sworn Penn State got a harsher penalty than USC .. which one was more recent again?

If you meant more severely for "cheating" you should say that.

Ohio State's punishment may not have been severe in the numbers, 1 year bowl ban and all, but it punished them worse than USC did since OSU went undefeated last year, maybe cost them a title.

UNC's punishment cost them an ACC title shot and possibly an appearance in the Orange Bowl had they won ACC title.
 
2013-04-05 03:40:24 PM
I must not fear, y'all. Fear is th' mind-killa.  Fear is th' lil death that brings total an-EYE-alation. I will face my fear. I will permit it t' pass through me and over me. And when it has gone pay-ast, I will turn th' inner eye to see its path. Whar th' fear has gone, there ain't gonna be nuthin. Only I will remain.
 
2013-04-05 03:49:17 PM
Well, I guess they change grades, payoff players, but I guess they can't change drug tests or payoff the drug test administrators, they need to work on that.
 
2013-04-05 08:40:24 PM

sforce: steamingpile: No matter what you say, the pac-whatever was fhe last team penalized severely so to lay the label "cheating" sec is just a lie.

I could've sworn Penn State got a harsher penalty than USC .. which one was more recent again?

If you meant more severely for "cheating" you should say that.

Ohio State's punishment may not have been severe in the numbers, 1 year bowl ban and all, but it punished them worse than USC did since OSU went undefeated last year, maybe cost them a title.

UNC's punishment cost them an ACC title shot and possibly an appearance in the Orange Bowl had they won ACC title.


Sorry school sponsored payments, one was a cover up, the other was kid farking, and the last was a booster.
USC actually had a coach pay the parent so its worse IMO, OSU were kids getting free tats, UNC were kids having fun who had no shot at a NCG at all don't kid yourself. Psu was just a school ignoring the obvious.
 
2013-04-05 08:59:32 PM

steamingpile: sforce: steamingpile: No matter what you say, the pac-whatever was fhe last team penalized severely so to lay the label "cheating" sec is just a lie.

I could've sworn Penn State got a harsher penalty than USC .. which one was more recent again?

If you meant more severely for "cheating" you should say that.

Ohio State's punishment may not have been severe in the numbers, 1 year bowl ban and all, but it punished them worse than USC did since OSU went undefeated last year, maybe cost them a title.

UNC's punishment cost them an ACC title shot and possibly an appearance in the Orange Bowl had they won ACC title.

Sorry school sponsored payments, one was a cover up, the other was kid farking, and the last was a booster.
USC actually had a coach pay the parent so its worse IMO, OSU were kids getting free tats, UNC were kids having fun who had no shot at a NCG at all don't kid yourself. Psu was just a school ignoring the obvious.


I think the issue at OSU was less about the tats and more about their actions once it came to light.
 
2013-04-05 10:05:18 PM

steamingpile: UNC were kids having fun who had no shot at a NCG at all don't kid yourself.


He didn't say the NCG, but UNC could have won the conference championship.  I'm fairly certain the postseason ban deflated their motivation a little, but even with their record they would have been the Coastal Division participant.

All that being said, they didn't deserve to play in the post-season this year or last.  Dick Baddour should have known better than to hire Butch Davis.  Then again, Baddour was dirty as sin as well - all the problems with tutors and advisors started the moment Baddour took over for Swofford.  And a lot of people have a hate-on for Swofford as conference commissioner, but at least we haven't heard a single word about the football program being dirty when he was running the athletic department.
 
2013-04-05 10:14:44 PM

UNC_Samurai: steamingpile: UNC were kids having fun who had no shot at a NCG at all don't kid yourself.

He didn't say the NCG, but UNC could have won the conference championship.  I'm fairly certain the postseason ban deflated their motivation a little, but even with their record they would have been the Coastal Division participant.


I hadn't caught that part of his reply.

Yes, the ACC title game, which is what I said so I'm not sure why he replied NCG instead. They were tied with Miami for #1 in the Coastal but UNC had the win over Miami. It cost them the ACC title game and possibly the Orange Bowl.
 
2013-04-05 11:06:43 PM

sforce: steamingpile: No matter what you say, the pac-whatever was fhe last team penalized severely so to lay the label "cheating" sec is just a lie.

I could've sworn Penn State got a harsher penalty than USC .. which one was more recent again?

If you meant more severely for "cheating" you should say that.

Ohio State's punishment may not have been severe in the numbers, 1 year bowl ban and all, but it punished them worse than USC did since OSU went undefeated last year, maybe cost them a title.

UNC's punishment cost them an ACC title shot and possibly an appearance in the Orange Bowl had they won ACC title.


Not to mention the stupidity of claiming that "well you guys got punished last" as a defense for allegations of a conference consistently being allowed to cheat as SOP and not being punished for it.
 
2013-04-05 11:26:05 PM
So I am supposed to get outraged that my favorite University didn't test for or kick players off the team for using a drug that wasn't even illegal at the time?
 
2013-04-05 11:27:29 PM
IAmRight:
Not to mention the stupidity of claiming that "well you guys got punished last" as a defense for allegations of a conference consistently being allowed to cheat as SOP and not being punished for it.

Are you people retarded?  Someone implied that the SEC cheats a lot, and a response was made that another conference is more recently known for it.  That's it.  Jesus, get your head out of your ass.
 
2013-04-05 11:45:33 PM
Boy, for a clean program Auburn sure is dirty. Of course, we knew that when they were being investigated over Cam Newton, whose father asked for a fortune from other schools but implausibly allowed his son to go to Auburn for free. But SEC! SEC! Right. if you're competing for the national championship in major college sports you're cheating. It's that simple.
 
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