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(Huffington Post)   Roger Ebert's scathing reviews of movies everyone else seemed to love   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 190
    More: Amusing, Roger Ebert, lovers, Suri Cruise, "First Time", Nicki Minaj, Lindsay Lohan  
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11948 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 04 Apr 2013 at 9:38 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-04 07:20:07 PM  
I wholeheartedly agree with him on Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. I recently tried rewatching it and found it to be quite frankly, annoying.
 
2013-04-04 07:27:03 PM  

mikemoto: I wholeheartedly agree with him on Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. I recently tried rewatching it and found it to be quite frankly, annoying.


Same here.
 
2013-04-04 07:34:27 PM  
De-Slide-ified, if anyone cares
 
2013-04-04 07:46:25 PM  

Earguy: De-Slide-ified, if anyone cares


Thank you.

Ebert really had a gift for language. Good points on all of them.
 
2013-04-04 07:54:44 PM  
They forgot Die Hard.

And  Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid was awesome.
 
2013-04-04 08:15:53 PM  

Cyberluddite: mikemoto: I wholeheartedly agree with him on Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. I recently tried rewatching it and found it to be quite frankly, annoying.

Same here.


It has not aged well.  I last saw it back in the 1990's and was constantly having problems paying attention to it.
 
2013-04-04 08:31:35 PM  
Agree on all of those except Leon and Full Metal Jacket.
Butch Cassidy I almost agree with.
 
2013-04-04 08:37:52 PM  
Blue Velvet was overrated.
 
2013-04-04 08:39:09 PM  
Out of curiosity, I just read Ebert's review of Titanic.  He gave it a literary blowjob, and that movie was the biggest, most overrated piece of sh*t I've ever had the misfortune of gagging my way halfway through and turning off in disgust.  So, you'll have to pardon me if I don't take this list too seriously.

/RIP, anyway.  Seemed like a good guy.
 
2013-04-04 08:49:52 PM  
I'm assuming nobody loved "North" then?
 
2013-04-04 08:56:32 PM  
Ebert reviews pretty matched my own opinions, with a few exceptions. But there were a a few things about him I could count on.

He would judge the film for it's own merits. Hence his dislike for a few popular films.
If the lead was a a spicy Latina or black woman, the movie would get at least three stars
If the movie endangered children, he would hate it.
Once Lucas brought in Digital Filming, Ebert never forgave him.
 
2013-04-04 09:03:15 PM  

tenpoundsofcheese: Agree on all of those except Leon and Full Metal Jacket.
Butch Cassidy I almost agree with.


In all fairness, "The Professional" released in the states wasn't "Leon" and Ebert reviewed the US release.  They cut out almost 45 minutes of the movie, and most of those minutes dealt with the problem of having a 12 year-old girl acting as a sidekick on murder for hire missions.  The full version is a much better movie.
 
2013-04-04 09:05:35 PM  

ThunderPelvis: Out of curiosity, I just read Ebert's review of Titanic.  He gave it a literary blowjob, and that movie was the biggest, most overrated piece of sh*t I've ever had the misfortune of gagging my way halfway through and turning off in disgust.  So, you'll have to pardon me if I don't take this list too seriously.

/RIP, anyway.  Seemed like a good guy.


At the time, and I think he mentioned this in his review, "epic" movies weren't being done any more.  I think he loved it more for the sheer scale of the spectacle than anything else.  He even dinged the stock characters if I remember correctly.
 
2013-04-04 09:17:22 PM  

Lsherm: ThunderPelvis: Out of curiosity, I just read Ebert's review of Titanic.  He gave it a literary blowjob, and that movie was the biggest, most overrated piece of sh*t I've ever had the misfortune of gagging my way halfway through and turning off in disgust.  So, you'll have to pardon me if I don't take this list too seriously.

/RIP, anyway.  Seemed like a good guy.

At the time, and I think he mentioned this in his review, "epic" movies weren't being done any more.  I think he loved it more for the sheer scale of the spectacle than anything else.  He even dinged the stock characters if I remember correctly.


Nope, it's wall to wall blowjob.
 
2013-04-04 09:28:48 PM  

Earguy: De-Slide-ified, if anyone cares


I do, and thanks.
 
2013-04-04 09:42:56 PM  
I find that quote about Reservoir Dogs to be pretty apt.
 
2013-04-04 09:45:40 PM  
From that slideshow, he didn't like a lot of movies that are my favorites. But from his comment on "Leon/The Professional", I wonder if he ever saw the Director's Cut of that movie which definitely sexualizes Natalie Portman into a creepy pedo thing with Leon. Still is a good movie despite that angle.
 
2013-04-04 09:46:55 PM  
If the movie endangered children, he would hate it.

Because it's just about the laziest, cheapest trick there is, especially if it's a farking baby. There's nothing there to care about, it's just a blob.
 
2013-04-04 09:47:26 PM  
On FIGHT CLUB: "It's macho porn -- the sex movie Hollywood has been moving toward for years, in which eroticism between the sexes is replaced by all-guy locker-room fights. Women, who have had a lifetime of practice at dealing with little-boy posturing, will instinctively see through it; men may get off on the testosterone rush."

I'm tearing up a bit.  I am really going to miss Ebert.
 
2013-04-04 09:48:19 PM  
I like most of those movies and yet I don't find myself disagreeing with them.  As for Blue Velvet, Roger is telling us that the movie teased at darkness it never truly go to.  I wonder how dark he wanted it.

As a person who likes Fight Club, he's pretty spot on.  The biggest weakness of the film was its target audience.  Fortunately, it found a different one.
 
2013-04-04 09:49:55 PM  

TeDDD: On FIGHT CLUB: "It's macho porn -- the sex movie Hollywood has been moving toward for years, in which eroticism between the sexes is replaced by all-guy locker-room fights. Women, who have had a lifetime of practice at dealing with little-boy posturing, will instinctively see through it; men may get off on the testosterone rush."

I'm tearing up a bit.  I am really going to miss Ebert.


Yeah, there were some movies he really didn't understand.

RIP
 
2013-04-04 09:52:01 PM  
Clearly he doesn't like violence and that affected his reviews of Fight Club and Clockwork Orange, but that paragraph about Donnie Darko is absolute perfection. Even the pun about "trying to land it"
 
2013-04-04 09:53:22 PM  
I used to read his reviews after I saw a movie (in the days when I enjoyed movies), and I probably agreed with him 80% of the time.  When I disagreed with him, I usually still understood and appreciated his point.  And he wrote so well that his reviews were great reading regardless of whether I agreed or not.  He knew the ins and outs of filmmaking better than most reviewers, too, having had at least some minor experience on the other side of the review.

And while some other reviewers wrote some great thrashings of films, nobody did it as consistently well as Ebert.  His books of bad reviews are hilarious when taken in large sections.
 
2013-04-04 10:00:23 PM  
My jaw dropped when I heard this news.  He will indeed be missed.  Farewell to the creator of "Beyond the valley of Ultravixens."
 
2013-04-04 10:01:12 PM  
Just goes to show how irrelevant critics are.  This guy knew how to troll.
 
2013-04-04 10:01:14 PM  
It's probably a demographic thing, but I thought Donnie Darko was overrated.  I remember liking some of the photography but story-wise it just seemed like it was aping David Lynch land.
 
2013-04-04 10:04:44 PM  
I have to agree with him on "Full Metal Jacket".  Boot camp was amazing.  After boot camp were snippets that were barely organized and the film just ran out of gas.
 
2013-04-04 10:06:56 PM  
While disagreeing with some of the quotes represented here I didn't see much that was objectionable until I got to Harold and Maude.  Just, no.

Also, like a lot of people he seemed to miss the point of Fight Club.  None of that was supposed to be glorified, and of course a lot of the movie's "fans" missed that too, but I would have expected someone as intelligent as Ebert to have been able to make that distinction.
 
2013-04-04 10:07:09 PM  
I was looking forward to his review of the new Star Trek film.
 
2013-04-04 10:07:39 PM  
I've always been partial to his review of Black Dynamite:

I am happy to say it brings back an element sadly missing in recent movies, gratuitous nudity. Sexy women would "happen" to be topless in the 1970s movies for no better reason than that everyone agreed, including themselves, that their breasts were a genuine pleasure to regard -- the most beautiful naturally occurring shapes in nature, I believe. Now we see breasts only in serious films, for expressing reasons. There's been such a comeback for the strategically positioned bed sheet, you'd think we were back in the 1950s.
 
2013-04-04 10:08:56 PM  
Good, Donny Darko was absolutely  one of the most boring terrible pieces  of crap I've ever sat through, that and Eternal sunshine of the boring ass mind top my list of movies people like to seem edgy.
 
2013-04-04 10:11:36 PM  

Spanky_McFarksalot: Good, Donny Darko was absolutely  one of the most boring terrible pieces  of crap I've ever sat through, that and Eternal sunshine of the boring ass mind top my list of movies people like to seem edgy.


Ironically, this is one of the most try-hard edgy things I've read all week.
 
2013-04-04 10:14:10 PM  

ThunderPelvis: Lsherm: ThunderPelvis: Out of curiosity, I just read Ebert's review of Titanic.  He gave it a literary blowjob, and that movie was the biggest, most overrated piece of sh*t I've ever had the misfortune of gagging my way halfway through and turning off in disgust.  So, you'll have to pardon me if I don't take this list too seriously.

/RIP, anyway.  Seemed like a good guy.

At the time, and I think he mentioned this in his review, "epic" movies weren't being done any more.  I think he loved it more for the sheer scale of the spectacle than anything else.  He even dinged the stock characters if I remember correctly.

Nope, it's wall to wall blowjob.


Is that how he lost his jaw?
 
2013-04-04 10:15:27 PM  
2.5 stars is hardly a "scathing" review.
 
2013-04-04 10:16:19 PM  

Valacirca: Ironically, this is one of the most try-hard edgy things I've read all week.


whatever you  sayAlanis.
 
2013-04-04 10:17:53 PM  
He took a shiat on Fear and Loathing.
Of course it's a jumbled mess without a consistent theme. Thats the whole point.

Then his review of Reservoir Dogs is fair.

Same as my first point on shiatting on FMJ.

And Leon was creepy.
 
2013-04-04 10:20:26 PM  

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: I'm assuming nobody loved "North" then?


Geeze RE farking HATED it.


Rapmaster2000: I like most of those movies and yet I don't find myself disagreeing with them.  As for Blue Velvet, Roger is telling us that the movie teased at darkness it never truly go to.  I wonder how dark he wanted it.

As a person who likes Fight Club, he's pretty spot on.  The biggest weakness of the film was its target audience.  Fortunately, it found a different one.


I don't know about that.

And it's not that I necessarily disagree (or agree for that matter) with him but in reading these snippets it seems that he wanted movies to be more than what they are; as if they didn't meethim  imagined perfect version of what ever movie he was reviewing then there was something wrong with it.

As for 'Butch Cassidy' that was one of the dumbest comments I've ever read about movie.
 
2013-04-04 10:20:48 PM  

johnnieconnie: Earguy: De-Slide-ified, if anyone cares

Thank you.

Ebert really had a gift for language. Good points on all of them.


Of the hundreds of original, thoughtful, derisive reviews, we here on Fark get a greenlight thread on snippets and a horrible slide show?  It didn't even contain any of his controversial positions like Blade Runner.  Many were 2.5 star reviews.   uggh.
 
2013-04-04 10:21:13 PM  

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: North


Apparently, two people did, with the only stated reason being Bruce Willis in a bunny suit.
 
2013-04-04 10:23:01 PM  
Typo: 'as if they didn't meet his imagined'
 
2013-04-04 10:28:09 PM  
Oh, and how about the other direction. Did he have some glowing reviews for movies that totally sucked?
 
2013-04-04 10:28:33 PM  

Christian Bale: Clearly he doesn't like violence and that affected his reviews of Fight Club and Clockwork Orange, but that paragraph about Donnie Darko is absolute perfection. Even the pun about "trying to land it"


He must have changed his opinion after a rewatch. I first learned about that movie from him in some kind of "movies to rent that you never saw in the theater" segment.
 
2013-04-04 10:30:01 PM  

Gunderson: I have to agree with him on "Full Metal Jacket".  Boot camp was amazing.  After boot camp were snippets that were barely organized and the film just ran out of gas.


It was almost two different films spliced together.  If the final scene had been Joker packing up his gear and boarding a plane to Vietnam I'd ahve been good with it.

Also anyone else notice how they 'shopped over Phoebe Cates' boob?
 
2013-04-04 10:30:02 PM  
Tangentially, I feel bad for Bruce Willis.  I feel as if he's playing Old Bruce Willis in all his new films and you can almost taste the despair.
 
2013-04-04 10:37:57 PM  
North, 1994
"I hated this movie. Hated, hated, hated, hated, hated this movie. Hated it. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it. Hated the sensibility that thought anyone would like it. Hated the implied insult to the audience by its belief that anyone would be entertained by it."

Stargate, 1994
"The movie Ed Wood, about the worst director of all time, was made to prepare us for Stargate."

Mad Dog Time, 1996
"Mad Dog Time is the first movie I have seen that does not improve on the sight of a blank screen viewed for the same length of time. Oh, I've seen bad movies before. But they usually made me care about how bad they were. Watching Mad Dog Time is like waiting for the bus in a city where you're not sure they have a bus line."

B.A.P.S., 1997
"My guess is that African Americans will be offended by the movie, and whites will be embarrassed. The movie will bring us all together, I imagine, in paralyzing boredom."

Armageddon, 1998
"No matter what they're charging to get in, it's worth more to get out."

Godzilla, 1998
"Going to see Godzilla at the Palais of the Cannes Film Festival is like attending a satanic ritual in St. Peter's Basilica."

Battlefield Earth, 2000
"Battlefield Earth is like taking a bus trip with someone who has needed a bath for a long time. It's not merely bad; it's unpleasant in a hostile way."

Crocodile Dundee In Los Angeles, 2001
"I've seen audits that were more thrilling."

Freddy Got Fingered, 2001
"This movie doesn't scrape the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't below the bottom of the barrel. This movie doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence with barrels."

How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days, 2003
"Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson star. I neglected to mention that, maybe because I was trying to place them in this review's version of the Witness Protection Program. If I were taken off the movie beat and assigned to cover the interior design of bowling alleys, I would have some idea of how they must have felt as they made this film."

The Brown Bunny, 2003
"I had a colonoscopy once, and they let me watch it on TV. It was more entertaining than The Brown Bunny."

The Village, 2004
"To call it an anticlimax would be an insult not only to climaxes but to prefixes. It's a crummy secret, about one step up the ladder of narrative originality from It Was All a Dream. It's so witless, in fact, that when we do discover the secret, we want to rewind the film so we don't know the secret anymore. And then keep on rewinding, and rewinding, until we're back at the beginning, and can get up from our seats and walk backward out of the theater and go down the up escalator and watch the money spring from the cash register into our pockets."

A Lot Like Love, 2005
To call A Lot like Love dead in the water is an insult to water."

Bucket List, 2007
"I urgently advise hospitals: Do not make the DVD available to your patients; there may be an outbreak of bedpans thrown at TV screens."

Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen, 2009
"If you want to save yourself the ticket price, go into the kitchen, cue up a male choir singing the music of hell, and get a kid to start banging pots and pans together. Then close your eyes and use your imagination."

The Last Airbender, 2010
"The Last Airbender is an agonizing experience in every category I can think of and others still waiting to be invented."

Seven Days In Utopia, 2011
"I would rather eat a golf ball than see this movie again."
 
2013-04-04 10:41:56 PM  

DonkeyDixon: Christian Bale: Clearly he doesn't like violence and that affected his reviews of Fight Club and Clockwork Orange, but that paragraph about Donnie Darko is absolute perfection. Even the pun about "trying to land it"

He must have changed his opinion after a rewatch. I first learned about that movie from him in some kind of "movies to rent that you never saw in the theater" segment.


Well look at what he says:

"In Jake Gyllenhaal, he finds an actor able to suggest an intriguing kind of disturbance; the character is more curious than frightened, more quixotic than eccentric, and he sets a nice tone for the movie. But somehow the control fades in the closing scenes, and our hands, which have been so full, close on emptiness. 'Donnie Darko' is the one that got away. But it was fun trying to land it."

He doesn't say the movie is bad; he basically says it's a good movie with an unsatisfying ending, and that the film has a lot to offer even if it's flawed.
 
2013-04-04 10:44:34 PM  
Agree with him 100% on Full Metal Jacket and A Clockwork Orange. Kubrick's most overrated films.
 
2013-04-04 10:47:34 PM  

Christian Bale: DonkeyDixon: Christian Bale: Clearly he doesn't like violence and that affected his reviews of Fight Club and Clockwork Orange, but that paragraph about Donnie Darko is absolute perfection. Even the pun about "trying to land it"

He must have changed his opinion after a rewatch. I first learned about that movie from him in some kind of "movies to rent that you never saw in the theater" segment.

Well look at what he says:

"In Jake Gyllenhaal, he finds an actor able to suggest an intriguing kind of disturbance; the character is more curious than frightened, more quixotic than eccentric, and he sets a nice tone for the movie. But somehow the control fades in the closing scenes, and our hands, which have been so full, close on emptiness. 'Donnie Darko' is the one that got away. But it was fun trying to land it."

He doesn't say the movie is bad; he basically says it's a good movie with an unsatisfying ending, and that the film has a lot to offer even if it's flawed.


I have to wonder if this was his original review, which I believe was made after seeing the original Sundance cut that was later released as the Director's Cut.

Never, ever watch the Director's Cut of Donnie Darko.
 
2013-04-04 10:47:44 PM  
I can never forgive him for his review of Ace Ventura: Pet Detective.  The man simply did not know comedy.
 
2013-04-04 10:48:45 PM  

Mr. Eugenides: My jaw dropped when I heard this news.  He will indeed be missed.  Farewell to the creator of "Beyond the valley of Ultravixens."


You think your jaw dropped, his dropped a few years ago.
 
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