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(Today)   Latest from entitled, butthurt, college-rejected high schooler whose open letter was posted by the Wall Street Journal: "It's a satire"   (todaynews.today.com) divider line 207
    More: Followup, Wall Street Journal, Savannah Guthrie, holistic approaches  
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11874 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Apr 2013 at 6:39 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-04 08:14:59 PM  

hundreddollarman: SN1987a goes boom: A Shambling Mound: ModernLuddite: thamike: God Is My Co-Pirate: sentex: tnpir: Tigger: yeah, that's convincing

"It was satire"

"It was my wife typing"

"I was in the marine core"

"the cheese stands alone"

"I want to spend more time with my family"

"I was undercover for a story on prostitution"

"It's a slippery slope"

"I swear to God she was dead when I got here"

"My junk is stuck in the slats of my chair"

"She said she was 18."

"My Twitter got hacked."


"It was an overzealous staffer."
 
2013-04-04 08:15:33 PM  
If only she'd been a black, blind lesbian from an inner city.
 
2013-04-04 08:15:46 PM  
Her next article will be biatching about not getting that position at the onion
 
2013-04-04 08:16:42 PM  

Tigger: yeah, that's convincing

"It was satire"

"It was my wife typing"

"I was in the marine core"


'my handle really is my surname. it's french'
 
2013-04-04 08:16:51 PM  

Rufus Lee King: Mister Pleco: The Muthaship: Gyrfalcon: peasants_are_revolting: An SAT of 2120? When I took it, 1,600 was the highest you could go.

"It's a joke."

Max is 2400 now.  There's an essay section now.

Wow.  So, now there's a point on learning to write essays.

/How I Spent My Summer Vacation....

The first day of my summer vacation I woke up. Then I went downtown to look for a job. Then I hung out in front of the drugstore.

The second day of my summer vacation...oh, hell, y'all know the rest.


Far Out.
 
2013-04-04 08:23:15 PM  
I want to hear  theMagni's story, too! Do tell, please.

Also FTA:  "In this day and age, we're being judged on things that we cannot control as opposed to things that we can," she said.

In this day and age, as she says, upper middle class white people are indeed being judged on things outside their control, just like ethnic and cultural minorities have been for, like, ever. Boo hoo. The shoe is on the other foot, so to speak.
 
2013-04-04 08:24:06 PM  

Lusiphur: In order to be a satire, it would need to be satirizing something. So she's either satirizing herself and her own generation, or she's satirizing the admissions process. The first is suspect because most people of her generation don't feel the need to go on long, bitter rants about affirmative action. In fact, her (and technically my) generation is the most diverse and accepting of diversity ever. If she's satirizing the admissions process, it would seem to me to have been far more effective if done from the perspective of an admissions officer.

I just don't buy the "satire" bit. It sounds more like someone who really sucks at life and is bitter about it, but threw in a line or two at the end to give herself plausible deniability if it went the wrong way.


Or maybe she just really sucks at satire.

When I read the screed last night, that was actually my first thought: "This is too over-the-top. It has to be an April Fools' thing, but the writer just doesn't have a clue what she's doing."
 
2013-04-04 08:24:41 PM  
i'd like to hear how spentmiles applied to college
 
2013-04-04 08:25:04 PM  

Eustacia Vye: I want to hear  theMagni's story, too! Do tell, please.

Also FTA:  "In this day and age, we're being judged on things that we cannot control as opposed to things that we can," she said.

In this day and age, as she says, upper middle class white people are indeed being judged on things outside their control, just like ethnic and cultural minorities have been for, like, ever. Boo hoo. The shoe is on the other foot, so to speak.


So racism is fine as long as it's reverse racism.
 
2013-04-04 08:26:57 PM  

Silly Jesus: Eustacia Vye: I want to hear  theMagni's story, too! Do tell, please.

Also FTA:  "In this day and age, we're being judged on things that we cannot control as opposed to things that we can," she said.

In this day and age, as she says, upper middle class white people are indeed being judged on things outside their control, just like ethnic and cultural minorities have been for, like, ever. Boo hoo. The shoe is on the other foot, so to speak.

So racism is fine as long as it's reverse racism.


I never said the all unfair judgment being done was "fine," just that it's being spread around more equally, it seems.
 
2013-04-04 08:29:08 PM  
it's like when you launch a snowball from across the street at the neighbor kid because you think it'll be funny. but then you realize you misjudged your aim and hit him right in the face, and no matter how hard you try to laugh it off and reiterate the fact that "i meant to hit you in the back! it was a joke!" you still look like an asshole.
 
2013-04-04 08:29:13 PM  

Eustacia Vye: Silly Jesus: Eustacia Vye: I want to hear  theMagni's story, too! Do tell, please.

Also FTA:  "In this day and age, we're being judged on things that we cannot control as opposed to things that we can," she said.

In this day and age, as she says, upper middle class white people are indeed being judged on things outside their control, just like ethnic and cultural minorities have been for, like, ever. Boo hoo. The shoe is on the other foot, so to speak.

So racism is fine as long as it's reverse racism.

I never said the all unfair judgment being done was "fine," just that it's being spread around more equally, it seems.


No. It's for revenge. Admit it.
 
2013-04-04 08:30:51 PM  

ikapoz: DarwiOdrade: Kaenneth: Mister Pleco: Earl of Chives: LordOfThePings: Yogimus: Debeo Summa Credo: "It was satire"

"It was my wife typing"

"I was in the marine core"

"the cheese stands alone"

"I want to spend more time with my family"

"I was undercover for a story on prostitution"

"It's a slippery slope"

"I swear to God she was dead when I got here"

"My junk is stuck in the slats of my chair"

"She said she was 18."

"I was just giving that prostitute a ride, officer.."

"I have a wide stance."

"I never inhaled"

"I was hiking the Appalachian Trail."

"I was only looking at that for research purposes"

"It was a pun!"

"It must be a side effect of the cancer drugs."

"White liberals are the most racists people there are."

"Where did that pickle photo come from?"


"Of COURSE I was trolling; you didn't really think I believed all that nonsense about 'Space Nutters' and immortal atoms, right?"
 
2013-04-04 08:34:47 PM  

astouffer: From the excerpts in the article her essay sounds pretty funny. The admissions process really is a joke. What is the definition of favoring one person over the other? Discrimination. As in favoring someones race over their test scores.


Not sure if you're trolling but I'll bite nonetheless.  I graduated HS in '82 and went into the Army since they offered me a great way to pay for college and expenses after my term of enlistment ended. Was a great deal. I gave years of my life, etc., working in an high-stress/ high-end field (ATC) and in return Uncle Sam paid for me to go to [my hopeful] University afterwards.  When I first applied (keep in mind this is years after I graduated HS) I was stunned (almost literally) that they declined me almost out of hand---in short, I hadn't "volunteered" enough "in my community", etc., or visited old-folks-homes or whatever. I called the registrars office and basically said "WTF"....a'la, "so it's not good enough [what I've been doing in preparation] compared to younger kids who, since schools budgets were cut so badly over the years, had to waste time "volunteering" rather than being in, say, marching band or chorus or whatever other programs were cut in my absence?!"

I got accepted. I was even given a grandfather clause to not have to take some other stupid State-mandated entry-test that had been put into place between when I graduated HS ('82) and when I later applied for school (a handful of years later).

/yeah, yeah...CSB
//57th ATC, Ft. Ord, CA., '82-'85
 
2013-04-04 08:36:13 PM  
Good thing it wasnt a female writer for Kos or this would be another peg in yhe war on women.
 
2013-04-04 08:44:43 PM  
I thought it was pretty amusing, myself.

As a white girl, she should have done an Angelina and Brad Pitt and adopted a bunch of those Africans. How cool would that be on your college application? "I'll be bringing my family with me."
 
2013-04-04 08:45:54 PM  
Bless her little heart.....
 
2013-04-04 08:52:13 PM  
Christ, you people and the Gawker/tumblr crowd are the biggest bunch of babies. I would have never imagined that a light-hearted opinion piece by a teenage girl could cause so much righteous indignation and vitriol. Dewad thy panties.
 
2013-04-04 08:52:35 PM  

UNC_Samurai: ikapoz: DarwiOdrade: Kaenneth: Mister Pleco: Earl of Chives: LordOfThePings: Yogimus: Debeo Summa Credo: "It was satire"

"It was my wife typing"

"I was in the marine core"

"the cheese stands alone"

"I want to spend more time with my family"

"I was undercover for a story on prostitution"

"It's a slippery slope"

"I swear to God she was dead when I got here"

"My junk is stuck in the slats of my chair"

"She said she was 18."

"I was just giving that prostitute a ride, officer.."

"I have a wide stance."

"I never inhaled"

"I was hiking the Appalachian Trail."

"I was only looking at that for research purposes"

"It was a pun!"

"It must be a side effect of the cancer drugs."

"White liberals are the most racists people there are."

"Where did that pickle photo come from?"

"Of COURSE I was trolling; you didn't really think I believed all that nonsense about 'Space Nutters' and immortal atoms, right?"


"Dam it I mint too hit purview, you gays dont reallly thunk I that retarped do you?"
 
2013-04-04 09:03:29 PM  
Here's the last paragraph in her article:

"To those claiming that I am bitter-you bet I am! An underachieving selfish teenager making excuses for her own failures? That too! To those of you disgusted by this, shocked that I take for granted the wonderful gifts I have been afforded, I sayshhhh-"The Real Housewives" is on. "

For a 17 year-old, she sounds pretty self-aware.
 
2013-04-04 09:04:53 PM  
Pics or I don't want to fark her
 
2013-04-04 09:16:30 PM  

Lusiphur: So she's either satirizing herself


"Weiss said she penned her essay after getting numerous rejection letters in a single day. Despite a 4.5 GPA, an SAT score of 2120 and a stint as a U.S. Senate page"

I'm going to guess no to "herself".
 
2013-04-04 09:18:39 PM  

Mentat: Ah yes, the last defense of stupid people who get burned on the Internet:  "It's satire".


Being me, I am getting a kick out of these posts.
 
2013-04-04 09:22:46 PM  

Eustacia Vye: In this day and age, as she says, upper middle class white people are indeed being judged on things outside their control, just like ethnic and cultural minorities have been for, like, ever. Boo hoo. The shoe is on the other foot, so to speak.


Except being a straight white dude is still the farking best.
 
2013-04-04 09:24:14 PM  

Rabbitgod: UNC_Samurai: ikapoz: DarwiOdrade: Kaenneth: Mister Pleco: Earl of Chives: LordOfThePings: Yogimus: Debeo Summa Credo: "It was satire"

"It was my wife typing"

"I was in the marine core"

"the cheese stands alone"

"I want to spend more time with my family"

"I was undercover for a story on prostitution"

"It's a slippery slope"

"I swear to God she was dead when I got here"

"My junk is stuck in the slats of my chair"

"She said she was 18."

"I was just giving that prostitute a ride, officer.."

"I have a wide stance."

"I never inhaled"

"I was hiking the Appalachian Trail."

"I was only looking at that for research purposes"

"It was a pun!"

"It must be a side effect of the cancer drugs."

"White liberals are the most racists people there are."

"Where did that pickle photo come from?"

"Of COURSE I was trolling; you didn't really think I believed all that nonsense about 'Space Nutters' and immortal atoms, right?"

"Dam it I mint too hit purview, you gays dont reallly thunk I that retarped do you?"


"The Aristocrats."
 
2013-04-04 09:37:51 PM  
http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/82/reversegoatse8zi.jpg

"Damn it why didn't it work?"
 
2013-04-04 09:38:29 PM  
Didn't anyone read the original letter?  It was classic sarcasm.

If any of you took it seriously - you're dumber than this girl ever will be. She even ended the piece with a nod to her own failures.

Some of you people are freakin' stupid.

GAT_00: Once you got mocked by everyone and realized only the WSJ and other affirmative action haters were on your side, it suddenly becomes "satire."  Sure.


Read her original letter before you comment, because I refuse to believe you're so stupid you'd think she was serious.
 
2013-04-04 09:38:32 PM  

antisocialworker: Here's the last paragraph in her article:

"To those claiming that I am bitter-you bet I am! An underachieving selfish teenager making excuses for her own failures? That too! To those of you disgusted by this, shocked that I take for granted the wonderful gifts I have been afforded, I sayshhhh-"The Real Housewives" is on. "

For a 17 year-old, she sounds pretty self-aware.


The thing is, if you had read this followup, you would know that that isn't actually true. She got decent, middling marks, volunteered, had extracurricular activities. She just wasn't good enough. And she's bitter about it, because clearly she's better than all that other filth that took her place. She's not like all those other self-entitled whiny losers in her generation. I mean, her parents have money, and connections! So the only reason she didn't get in to her top choice is because of affirmative action, and stupid liberals who lied on their applications, and besides, they only did those activities because they were padding their resumes. Everyone must be as vapid as she is, and no one could possibly care about anything or genuinely want to help people, or have a real moment of enlightenment.

I can see this being humor. I could see this being humor yesterday. But it's conservative humor. The kind that seeks to cover up for individual failure with cruel, mean-spirited caricatures. The kind that uses humor not for exposing truth, nor for making people laugh, but to cover for bitterness and resentment. It's humor as a smoke screen. Humor as an excuse to let her inner demons play free. Worst of all, it's humor that just isn't that funny.
 
2013-04-04 09:39:02 PM  

Rabbitgod: http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/82/reversegoatse8zi.jpg

"Damn it why didn't it work?"


Wow I messed up the rolling meme we had going....
 
2013-04-04 09:44:52 PM  

Professor Wormbog: it's like when you launch a snowball from across the street at the neighbor kid because you think it'll be funny. but then you realize you misjudged your aim and hit him right in the face, and no matter how hard you try to laugh it off and reiterate the fact that "i meant to hit you in the back! it was a joke!" you still look like an asshole.


+1 funny.
 
2013-04-04 09:45:44 PM  

Maud Dib: FTA..Although Weiss didn't get into the Ivy League schools she sought, she was accepted into numerous other prestigious schools including Pennsylvania State, Indiana, Michigan and Wisconsin.

She'll fit right in with those denialists.


Pennsylvania State is not Penn State
 
2013-04-04 09:48:42 PM  
It was really farking obvious that it was a satire from the start.
 
2013-04-04 09:51:06 PM  

Weigard: Eustacia Vye: In this day and age, as she says, upper middle class white people are indeed being judged on things outside their control, just like ethnic and cultural minorities have been for, like, ever. Boo hoo. The shoe is on the other foot, so to speak.

Except being a straight white dude is still the farking best.


I gotta admit, it's a pretty sweet gig.
 
2013-04-04 09:53:38 PM  

thamike: Despite a 4.5 GPA, an SAT score of 2120 and a stint as a U.S. Senate page, Weiss was rejected by Princeton, Yale, Vanderbilt and the University of Pennsylvania.
 


I'm confused. Is that a handjob gif posing as a blowjob gif?
 
2013-04-04 09:56:12 PM  

ransack.: Maud Dib: FTA..Although Weiss didn't get into the Ivy League schools she sought, she was accepted into numerous other prestigious schools including Pennsylvania State, Indiana, Michigan and Wisconsin.

She'll fit right in with those denialists.

Pennsylvania State is not Penn State


I hope you're kidding. Pennsylvania State University IS Penn State. The University of Pennsylvania on the other hand, is a completely different animal and an Ivy League school.
 
2013-04-04 10:00:28 PM  

Spiffariffic: Rabbitgod: UNC_Samurai: ikapoz: DarwiOdrade: Kaenneth: Mister Pleco: Earl of Chives: LordOfThePings: Yogimus: Debeo Summa Credo: "It was satire"

"It was my wife typing"

"I was in the marine core"

"the cheese stands alone"

"I want to spend more time with my family"

"I was undercover for a story on prostitution"

"It's a slippery slope"

"I swear to God she was dead when I got here"

"My junk is stuck in the slats of my chair"

"She said she was 18."

"I was just giving that prostitute a ride, officer.."

"I have a wide stance."

"I never inhaled"

"I was hiking the Appalachian Trail."

"I was only looking at that for research purposes"

"It was a pun!"

"It must be a side effect of the cancer drugs."

"White liberals are the most racists people there are."

"Where did that pickle photo come from?"

"Of COURSE I was trolling; you didn't really think I believed all that nonsense about 'Space Nutters' and immortal atoms, right?"

"Dam it I mint too hit purview, you gays dont reallly thunk I that retarped do you?"

"The Aristocrats."


"Tuck rule!"
 
2013-04-04 10:00:41 PM  

Lusiphur: The kind that seeks to cover up for individual failure with cruel, mean-spirited caricatures.


So what does it mean when, um...uh...not conservatives do it?
 
2013-04-04 10:01:35 PM  

Lusiphur: Worst of all, it's humor that just isn't that funny.


True, that.
 
2013-04-04 10:04:56 PM  
Look kid, a lot of people on here are pretty sure they couldn't have gotten it wrong, so you can expect to be hounded until you admit you were really really mad, and that they were always right, and steadfast in so being!
 
2013-04-04 10:05:23 PM  
Can I just say that for the job I hold, without holding a college degree, many college students apply?  'Cause it's interesting to see them fail at the job with all the encouragement we give them in starting in it.  Sure, they want big bucks and they are not going to get them from the start.  It's the inability to communicate is what kills them.

CSB

Most of my dates have involved college graduated women.  They find me intelligent, a nice weird and the sex is good.  However, when I say that I don't have a degree.... you can see their faces crash.

What show was that where it pauses to show the moment someone's heart is crushed?

It isn't my heart.

/CSB
 
2013-04-04 10:08:55 PM  

Mister Pleco: and the sex is good


You can count one the finest, farm fresh gender when you buy from Mr Pleco!

Come check out our newest selection of sex, just off the main road, over behind Crazy Earl's Pickle Piccadilly!
 
2013-04-04 10:09:38 PM  

s2s2s2: You can count *on

 
2013-04-04 10:10:43 PM  
Actually I typed the "one" on purpose.

/Satire
 
2013-04-04 10:13:48 PM  

s2s2s2: Mister Pleco: and the sex is good

You can count one the finest, farm fresh gender when you buy from Mr Pleco!

Come check out our newest selection of sex, just off the main road, over behind Crazy Earl's Pickle Piccadilly!


Don't worry about the flies.  We won't weigh 'em!
 
2013-04-04 10:17:44 PM  

theMagni: Poor kid.

Once I had a bit of a... let's call it a "professional incident" with a presentation that I thought would be funny.

I got blacklisted for a while, lost my job, lost my shot at one of my all-time dream jobs, but certainly it didn't get heard around the world.


Go on...
 
pla
2013-04-04 10:38:15 PM  
Sad that she backed down, because she nailed the original.

Who gives a fark if someone has done community service feeding minority children while finishing your highschool years in some shiathole of a 3rd world country?  I hear that and my first thoughts waver between "hah, sucker!" and "eew, I wonder what lovely rare diseases they brought back?"  Free hint - Put that on a resume, and I'll "hire" you - As an unpaid intern for as much slave labor as I can get out of you.  Hmm, guess that means "hah, sucker!" wins.  :)

People who need to earn a living afterward go to college for two reasons - 1) To get a better job, and 2) To stay on their parents' insurance for another few years.  They virtually never have the option of prancing around Europe for a year or two before college, and any work they do, they do because they need to make rent, not to show off as nobler-than-the-next-debutante.

Sure, if you never need to work a day in your life, "daddy the diplomat" makes for a great admissions essay.  For the rest of us, the colleges need to drop the pretentious BS and just accept themselves as little more than another four years' buffer to make up for an increasingly aging workforce.

Of course, on the flip side of that, I have to give unis some credit for having quotas - My alma mater wouldn't have had a single non-Asian (not "Asian-American", but "real" Asian, as in, from mainland China) grad student if not for their (minimum) in-state student quota.  Must feel nice to know your home country will pay your tuition, room, and board to have you educated anywhere in the world.


/ Sadly, not a troll
 
2013-04-04 10:44:57 PM  
Wow.  What did someone say that I got my own response banninated?  Don't recall it being bad.  Hold on, someone knocking on my do-
 
2013-04-04 10:53:27 PM  
Methinks the lady doth protest too much.
 
2013-04-04 10:58:05 PM  
I called it as satire in the first thread. It's... kinda obvious.
 
2013-04-04 11:24:45 PM  
I do not know the etiquette.  Thanks for the TotalFark!  I dare not deign to look upon you {bows and covers face behind upraised arm and sword}
 
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