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(Today)   Latest from entitled, butthurt, college-rejected high schooler whose open letter was posted by the Wall Street Journal: "It's a satire"   (todaynews.today.com) divider line 207
    More: Followup, Wall Street Journal, Savannah Guthrie, holistic approaches  
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11861 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Apr 2013 at 6:39 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



207 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-04-04 04:27:54 PM
Writing a bitter screed decrying life as being unfair, then calling it sarcasm when called out on your crap? Wonder what her Fark handle is.
 
2013-04-04 04:43:41 PM
There are some pretty good shots in it.

That being said, Looks like University of Illinois!
 
2013-04-04 04:59:42 PM
In order to be a satire, it would need to be satirizing something. So she's either satirizing herself and her own generation, or she's satirizing the admissions process. The first is suspect because most people of her generation don't feel the need to go on long, bitter rants about affirmative action. In fact, her (and technically my) generation is the most diverse and accepting of diversity ever. If she's satirizing the admissions process, it would seem to me to have been far more effective if done from the perspective of an admissions officer.

I just don't buy the "satire" bit. It sounds more like someone who really sucks at life and is bitter about it, but threw in a line or two at the end to give herself plausible deniability if it went the wrong way.
 
2013-04-04 05:07:45 PM
yeah, that's convincing

"It was satire"

"It was my wife typing"

"I was in the marine core"
 
2013-04-04 05:15:42 PM
Read the original bitter thing.  Typical high schooler mentality.  Nothing better or worse than that.

Can't really be angry at a kid for being disappointed and bitter.  She's a kid.  They do that sort of thing.
 
2013-04-04 05:16:35 PM
Good satire includes whatever it is you are satirizing: Swift "The English treat the Irish so badly we should just eat them, it'd be more humane."

Snowflake, if you were going for satire, you deservedly got rejected by wherever you applied.

/but since we're in America, I'm sure you will fail upwards spectacularly.
 
2013-04-04 05:30:37 PM
FTA..Although Weiss didn't get into the Ivy League schools she sought, she was accepted into numerous other prestigious schools including Pennsylvania State, Indiana, Michigan and Wisconsin.

She'll fit right in with those denialists.
 
2013-04-04 05:42:01 PM
Once you got mocked by everyone and realized only the WSJ and other affirmative action haters were on your side, it suddenly becomes "satire."  Sure.
 
2013-04-04 05:44:35 PM
Sure it is, sweetie.

Now go outside and play. Mommy and Daddy need some alone time.
 
2013-04-04 05:47:30 PM

naughtyrev: Writing a bitter screed decrying life as being unfair, then calling it sarcasm when called out on your crap? Wonder what her Fark handle is.


Do you think she'll send us BIE?
 
2013-04-04 05:54:36 PM

Tigger: yeah, that's convincing

"It was satire"

"It was my wife typing"

"I was in the marine core"


"the cheese stands alone"
 
2013-04-04 05:59:22 PM
You mean like when people read something from The Onion, BBSpot and other sites and never noticed the SATIRE tag? Good times years ago....
 
2013-04-04 06:03:49 PM

Dancin_In_Anson: There are some pretty good shots in it.

That being said, Looks like University of Illinois!


As an Illini alum, we don't want her. Send her someplace it's easy to get into, like Purdue.
 
2013-04-04 06:04:48 PM
Ah yes, the last defense of stupid people who get burned on the Internet:  "It's satire".
 
2013-04-04 06:06:22 PM
"Like millions of teenagers out there, I was crying to my mom and she said 'I cannot hear about this any more, just go talk to someone else,' so I called my sister," she said. "I was crying, but she was hysterically laughing, and she said, 'Go write this down.' So I did, and this is what came out of it."

...How does that equate to satire?

"It's a satire. That's the point. Just like '30 Rock' is a satire, which pokes fun at things that are politically correct. That's what I was trying to do," Weiss told TODAY's Savannah Guthrie.

Oh, I get it. She doesn't know what satire is. Makes sense now.
 
2013-04-04 06:07:07 PM

Mentat: Ah yes, the last defense of stupid people who get burned on the Internet:  "It's satire".


I'm surprised she didn't go with "snark".
 
2013-04-04 06:10:01 PM

Car_Ramrod: Mentat: Ah yes, the last defense of stupid people who get burned on the Internet:  "It's satire".

I'm surprised she didn't go with "snark".


I'm surprised she didn't spell it satyr.
 
2013-04-04 06:11:34 PM

Lusiphur: In order to be a satire, it would need to be satirizing something. So she's either satirizing herself and her own generation, or she's satirizing the admissions process. The first is suspect because most people of her generation don't feel the need to go on long, bitter rants about affirmative action. In fact, her (and technically my) generation is the most diverse and accepting of diversity ever. If she's satirizing the admissions process, it would seem to me to have been far more effective if done from the perspective of an admissions officer.

I just don't buy the "satire" bit. It sounds more like someone who really sucks at life and is bitter about it, but threw in a line or two at the end to give herself plausible deniability if it went the wrong way.


It could be "satire" if you view at as a conservative attempt at humor. She made fun of elitist colleges and her own stupid liberal gay/Obama supporting generation. How is that not funny? Granted, it should have ended with some well-known liberal getting butt raped, but she's young. She'll learn the tricks as she goes.
 
2013-04-04 06:26:08 PM

Car_Ramrod: "Like millions of teenagers out there, I was crying to my mom and she said 'I cannot hear about this any more, just go talk to someone else,' so I called my sister," she said. "I was crying, but she was hysterically laughing, and she said, 'Go write this down.' So I did, and this is what came out of it."

...How does that equate to satire?

"It's a satire. That's the point. Just like '30 Rock' is a satire, which pokes fun at things that are politically correct. That's what I was trying to do," Weiss told TODAY's Savannah Guthrie.

Oh, I get it. She doesn't know what satire is. Makes sense now.


the Phrase "poke fun at things politically correct" is a code for "I Wanna be racist, homophobic and elitist, but people shun me when I do it. WAAAAH!"
 
2013-04-04 06:26:50 PM

Car_Ramrod: As an Illini alum, we don't want her. Send her someplace it's easy to get into, like Purdue.


It was a movie quote.
 
2013-04-04 06:27:14 PM
Despite a 4.5 GPA, an SAT score of 2120 and a stint as a U.S. Senate page, Weiss was rejected by Princeton, Yale, Vanderbilt and the University of Pennsylvania.
 
a2.ec-images.myspacecdn.com

 
2013-04-04 06:30:24 PM

tnpir: Tigger: yeah, that's convincing

"It was satire"

"It was my wife typing"

"I was in the marine core"

"the cheese stands alone"


"I want to spend more time with my family"
 
2013-04-04 06:35:16 PM
can this be the last thread about this little Twunt? Sure, lets please deride her and all her CYA foistering... and lets have another 300+ strong thread.. i just think that the next followup thread will be that theyoung lady doesnt exist at all and it was all just a rouse put forth by a senior editor at the WSJ
 
2013-04-04 06:41:05 PM

sentex: tnpir: Tigger: yeah, that's convincing

"It was satire"

"It was my wife typing"

"I was in the marine core"

"the cheese stands alone"

"I want to spend more time with my family"


"I was undercover for a story on prostitution"
 
2013-04-04 06:41:49 PM

God Is My Co-Pirate: sentex: tnpir: Tigger: yeah, that's convincing

"It was satire"

"It was my wife typing"

"I was in the marine core"

"the cheese stands alone"

"I want to spend more time with my family"

"I was undercover for a story on prostitution"


"It's a slippery slope"
 
2013-04-04 06:43:31 PM
Lazy biatch
 
2013-04-04 06:43:54 PM
An SAT of 2120? When I took it, 1,600 was the highest you could go.
 
2013-04-04 06:43:56 PM

thamike: God Is My Co-Pirate: sentex: tnpir: Tigger: yeah, that's convincing

"It was satire"

"It was my wife typing"

"I was in the marine core"

"the cheese stands alone"

"I want to spend more time with my family"

"I was undercover for a story on prostitution"

"It's a slippery slope"


"Common sense gun control"
 
2013-04-04 06:44:16 PM

thamike: God Is My Co-Pirate: sentex: tnpir: Tigger: yeah, that's convincing

"It was satire"

"It was my wife typing"

"I was in the marine core"

"the cheese stands alone"

"I want to spend more time with my family"

"I was undercover for a story on prostitution"

"It's a slippery slope"


I slipped and fell onto that coke bottle
 
2013-04-04 06:45:09 PM

thamike: God Is My Co-Pirate: sentex: tnpir: Tigger: yeah, that's convincing

"It was satire"

"It was my wife typing"

"I was in the marine core"

"the cheese stands alone"

"I want to spend more time with my family"

"I was undercover for a story on prostitution"

"It's a slippery slope"


"I swear to God she was dead when I got here"
 
2013-04-04 06:45:58 PM
OUCH. Didnt get into Yale huh? Bummer. That makes one of us lol! Her SAT is better than mine too. Oh wait, whats that? Its the new fangled 2400 score essay version. Check that, you suck. State school for you darlin. How did I get into Yale? I guess I was just more "persuasive".

MAIL IT IN! ...MAIL IT IN!!
 
2013-04-04 06:48:06 PM
MAIL IT IN!

external.ak.fbcdn.net
 
2013-04-04 06:48:44 PM

ModernLuddite: thamike: God Is My Co-Pirate: sentex: tnpir: Tigger: yeah, that's convincing

"It was satire"

"It was my wife typing"

"I was in the marine core"

"the cheese stands alone"

"I want to spend more time with my family"

"I was undercover for a story on prostitution"

"It's a slippery slope"

"I swear to God she was dead when I got here"


"My junk is stuck in the slats of my chair"
 
2013-04-04 06:49:41 PM
If any college rejected this moron, seems to me that was the appropriate choice. Chick should repeat a grade, or four.
 
2013-04-04 06:50:35 PM

A Shambling Mound: ModernLuddite: thamike: God Is My Co-Pirate: sentex: tnpir: Tigger: yeah, that's convincing

"It was satire"

"It was my wife typing"

"I was in the marine core"

"the cheese stands alone"

"I want to spend more time with my family"

"I was undercover for a story on prostitution"

"It's a slippery slope"

"I swear to God she was dead when I got here"

"My junk is stuck in the slats of my chair"


"She said she was 18."
 
2013-04-04 06:50:48 PM
 
2013-04-04 06:50:53 PM

Infernalist: Read the original bitter thing.  Typical high schooler mentality.  Nothing better or worse than that.

Can't really be angry at a kid for being disappointed and bitter.  She's a kid.  They do that sort of thing.


Although 99 out of a hundred white kids who get rejected from schools and complain about affirmative action were rejected on merit, not due to any affirmative action reasons, the original article was funny. I'm impressed that a 17 year old wrote it.
 
2013-04-04 06:51:16 PM
A high school kid did something stupid on the internet, you say? BURN HER!!

/but not before every adult online and in print, on radio and tv has a chance to ridicule an immature teenager.
 
2013-04-04 06:52:30 PM
Not pretty enough to be that stupid.
 
2013-04-04 06:52:36 PM
i0.kym-cdn.com
 
2013-04-04 06:52:42 PM

ModernLuddite: thamike: God Is My Co-Pirate: sentex: tnpir: Tigger: yeah, that's convincing

"It was satire"

"It was my wife typing"

"I was in the marine core"

"the cheese stands alone"

"I want to spend more time with my family"

"I was undercover for a story on prostitution"

"It's a slippery slope"

"I swear to God she was dead when I got here"


"POPUPS!"

----

But seriously, this was not satire. Just come out and admit you were taking a bitter swipe at a lot of bullshiat and a lot of us would probably agree with you at least on a few things, or if nothing else respect you for owning up to your opinions.

/Went to a community college near home
//Transferred to a state university nearby as well
///BA with no loans and for less than $20k
////People don't give a fark outside of the ivy league anyway
 
jvl
2013-04-04 06:53:06 PM
It wasn't satire.

But it was an attempt to be funny. If you didn't get that, you might just be dumber than a rock.
 
2013-04-04 06:53:35 PM
Sounds like this guy I used to know: say something rude and insulting, causing people to become angry. When people become angry, say, "I was KIDDING! Jeeze, can't you take a joke?? Got no sense of humor, do you?"

PS even if it was satire, it sucked. It was bad and she should feel bad.
 
2013-04-04 06:54:12 PM

SN1987a goes boom: A Shambling Mound: ModernLuddite: thamike: God Is My Co-Pirate: sentex: tnpir: Tigger: yeah, that's convincing

"It was satire"

"It was my wife typing"

"I was in the marine core"

"the cheese stands alone"

"I want to spend more time with my family"

"I was undercover for a story on prostitution"

"It's a slippery slope"

"I swear to God she was dead when I got here"

"My junk is stuck in the slats of my chair"

"She said she was 18."


"I was just giving that prostitute a ride, officer.."
 
2013-04-04 06:54:32 PM
Margaret Mitchell and Brett Easton Ellis, now with young up-and-comer, Suzy Lee Weis, in on the act! C'mon, everybody, let's hear it for retrospective satire!*cue applause*
 
2013-04-04 06:54:41 PM

jvl: It wasn't satire.

But it was an attempt to be funny. If you didn't get that, you might just be dumber than a rock.


See, that only works if you can pull funny off. She can't.
 
2013-04-04 06:54:51 PM

jvl: It wasn't satire.

But it was an attempt to be funny. If you didn't get that, you might just be dumber than a rock.


I didn't call it satire. She did.
 
2013-04-04 06:55:04 PM
I have no doubt that there was a satirical element to it, that's certainly how I read it (of course you can't get into the college of your choice without extracurriculas), but the gratuitous shots at affirmative action and Elizabeth Warren is what set her up for the backlash.  Of course, that's also what made the WSJ want to publish it.
 
2013-04-04 06:55:10 PM

Somaticasual: SN1987a goes boom: A Shambling Mound: ModernLuddite: thamike: God Is My Co-Pirate: sentex: tnpir: Tigger: yeah, that's convincing

"It was satire"

"It was my wife typing"

"I was in the marine core"

"the cheese stands alone"

"I want to spend more time with my family"

"I was undercover for a story on prostitution"

"It's a slippery slope"

"I swear to God she was dead when I got here"

"My junk is stuck in the slats of my chair"

"She said she was 18."

"I was just giving that prostitute a ride, officer.."


"I have a wide stance."
 
2013-04-04 06:55:38 PM
I would like to move that we strike the word "butthurt" and this usage of "entitled" from the language. The first because it's just farking stupid. If I have to explain that, I hate you. The second because it's one of those times when a word means two things that contradict each other.  If they were "entitled" to a thing and did not get it, we should be annoyed for them, not at them. I'm entitled to the money in my bank account, for example."Self-entitled" correctly expresses the idea you're trying to get across. They decided they were entitled to something, but they actually aren't.

The first person to say I sound butthurt is entitled to a stabbing.
 
2013-04-04 06:56:29 PM

SN1987a goes boom: A Shambling Mound: ModernLuddite: thamike: God Is My Co-Pirate: sentex: tnpir: Tigger: yeah, that's convincing

"It was satire"

"It was my wife typing"

"I was in the marine core"

"the cheese stands alone"

"I want to spend more time with my family"

"I was undercover for a story on prostitution"

"It's a slippery slope"

"I swear to God she was dead when I got here"

"My junk is stuck in the slats of my chair"

"She said she was 18."


"My Twitter got hacked."
 
2013-04-04 06:56:40 PM
"I was just trying to push the sheep over the fence"
 
2013-04-04 06:56:46 PM
I wondered if she would go this route.

I actually wondered if she didn't actually intend it as commentary on her own generation, because, let's face it, it was pretty out there.

I would only be convinced, however, if she had actually been accpeted at the schools she applied for.
 
2013-04-04 06:57:14 PM

Debeo Summa Credo: "It was satire"

"It was my wife typing"

"I was in the marine core"

"the cheese stands alone"

"I want to spend more time with my family"

"I was undercover for a story on prostitution"

"It's a slippery slope"

"I swear to God she was dead when I got here"

"My junk is stuck in the slats of my chair"

"She said she was 18."

"I was just giving that prostitute a ride, officer.."

"I have a wide stance."


"I never inhaled"
 
2013-04-04 06:58:24 PM

Lusiphur: In order to be a satire, it would need to be satirizing something. So she's either satirizing herself and her own generation, or she's satirizing the admissions process. The first is suspect because most people of her generation don't feel the need to go on long, bitter rants about affirmative action. In fact, her (and technically my) generation is the most diverse and accepting of diversity ever. If she's satirizing the admissions process, it would seem to me to have been far more effective if done from the perspective of an admissions officer.

I just don't buy the "satire" bit. It sounds more like someone who really sucks at life and is bitter about it, but threw in a line or two at the end to give herself plausible deniability if it went the wrong way.


Our generation should go on long rants about the racist practice known as affirmative action, but they're suckers.
 
2013-04-04 06:58:28 PM

Yogimus: Debeo Summa Credo: "It was satire"

"It was my wife typing"

"I was in the marine core"

"the cheese stands alone"

"I want to spend more time with my family"

"I was undercover for a story on prostitution"

"It's a slippery slope"

"I swear to God she was dead when I got here"

"My junk is stuck in the slats of my chair"

"She said she was 18."

"I was just giving that prostitute a ride, officer.."

"I have a wide stance."

"I never inhaled"


"I was hiking the Appalachian Trail."
 
2013-04-04 06:59:09 PM
I really don't know how she could've mad it any more clear she was kidding, and ultimately being self-effacing in her original letter.

People calling her names, and wagging their fingers at her (looking at you here, Gawker) are comically stupid, reactionary twats.
 
2013-04-04 07:00:23 PM
www.blindfiveyearold.com
 
2013-04-04 07:00:40 PM

jvl: But it was an attempt to be funny. If you didn't get that, you might just be dumber than a rock.


Sarcasm would be better description than satire.  But yeah, it was a hilarious troll of a lot of clueless people who are going to continue to be clueless.
 
2013-04-04 07:01:20 PM

Debeo Summa Credo: Somaticasual: SN1987a goes boom: A Shambling Mound: ModernLuddite: thamike: God Is My Co-Pirate: sentex: tnpir: Tigger: yeah, that's convincing

"It was satire"

"It was my wife typing"

"I was in the marine core"

"the cheese stands alone"

"I want to spend more time with my family"

"I was undercover for a story on prostitution"

"It's a slippery slope"

"I swear to God she was dead when I got here"

"My junk is stuck in the slats of my chair"

"She said she was 18."

"I was just giving that prostitute a ride, officer.."

"I have a wide stance."


"Exhaustion"
 
2013-04-04 07:01:22 PM

LordOfThePings: Yogimus: Debeo Summa Credo: "It was satire"

"It was my wife typing"

"I was in the marine core"

"the cheese stands alone"

"I want to spend more time with my family"

"I was undercover for a story on prostitution"

"It's a slippery slope"

"I swear to God she was dead when I got here"

"My junk is stuck in the slats of my chair"

"She said she was 18."

"I was just giving that prostitute a ride, officer.."

"I have a wide stance."

"I never inhaled"

"I was hiking the Appalachian Trail."


"If the glove doesn't fit, you must acquit."
 
2013-04-04 07:01:25 PM
static.blol.me
 
2013-04-04 07:02:32 PM

The Muthaship: People calling her names, and wagging their fingers at her (looking at you here, Gawker) are comically stupid,


In a nutshell - this.
 
2013-04-04 07:02:33 PM

LordOfThePings: Yogimus: Debeo Summa Credo: "It was satire"

"It was my wife typing"

"I was in the marine core"

"the cheese stands alone"

"I want to spend more time with my family"

"I was undercover for a story on prostitution"

"It's a slippery slope"

"I swear to God she was dead when I got here"

"My junk is stuck in the slats of my chair"

"She said she was 18."

"I was just giving that prostitute a ride, officer.."

"I have a wide stance."

"I never inhaled"

"I was hiking the Appalachian Trail."


"I was only looking at that for research purposes"
 
2013-04-04 07:05:08 PM
Its cute that she thinks the grown up world is as gullible as the kids in study hall.

/Enjoy CCAC
 
2013-04-04 07:07:35 PM

ThrobblefootSpectre: jvl: But it was an attempt to be funny. If you didn't get that, you might just be dumber than a rock.

Sarcasm would be better description than satire.  But yeah, it was a hilarious troll of a lot of clueless people who are going to continue to be clueless.


If this were the case she would not be pursuing the matter.
 
2013-04-04 07:08:59 PM

Earl of Chives: LordOfThePings: Yogimus: Debeo Summa Credo: "It was satire"

"It was my wife typing"

"I was in the marine core"

"the cheese stands alone"

"I want to spend more time with my family"

"I was undercover for a story on prostitution"

"It's a slippery slope"

"I swear to God she was dead when I got here"

"My junk is stuck in the slats of my chair"

"She said she was 18."

"I was just giving that prostitute a ride, officer.."

"I have a wide stance."

"I never inhaled"

"I was hiking the Appalachian Trail."

"I was only looking at that for research purposes"


"It was a pun!"
 
2013-04-04 07:09:33 PM
So go to your state college, and flip the bird to the Ivy League. Get a "blue collar" education to learn a marketable skill for a fifth of the money.

/Wah. I put myself through college. And grad school.
 
2013-04-04 07:12:01 PM
Who cares?  She's hot!

"No, really, it was satire!"

"Uh-huh.  Now let me help you out of that..."
 
2013-04-04 07:12:41 PM
In other news, Yale, Princeton, UPenn, and Vanderbilt just saved this young woman about a quarter of a million dollars in student loans.
 
2013-04-04 07:12:58 PM
satire is best executed without being pretentious, and if her college essays sounded anything like the way she talks, i wouldn't blame a single admission officer for not accepting her.  there's a big difference between tongue-in-cheek and foot-in-mouth.
 
2013-04-04 07:13:21 PM

aerojockey: In other news, Yale, Princeton, UPenn, and Vanderbilt just saved this young woman about a quarter of a million dollars in student loans.


It is ALMOST as if entrance boards provide a service to students...
 
2013-04-04 07:13:52 PM

Mister Pleco: Earl of Chives: LordOfThePings: Yogimus: Debeo Summa Credo: "It was satire"

"It was my wife typing"

"I was in the marine core"

"the cheese stands alone"

"I want to spend more time with my family"

"I was undercover for a story on prostitution"

"It's a slippery slope"

"I swear to God she was dead when I got here"

"My junk is stuck in the slats of my chair"

"She said she was 18."

"I was just giving that prostitute a ride, officer.."

"I have a wide stance."

"I never inhaled"

"I was hiking the Appalachian Trail."

"I was only looking at that for research purposes"

"It was a pun!"


"It must be a side effect of the cancer drugs."
 
2013-04-04 07:14:32 PM

Professor Wormbog: satire is best executed without being pretentious, and if her college essays sounded anything like the way she talks, i wouldn't blame a single admission officer for not accepting her.  there's a big difference between tongue-in-cheek and foot-in-mouth.


Jonathan Swift always struck me as pretentious.

Tongue-in-check isn't a fetish; that's the big difference.
 
2013-04-04 07:18:28 PM
We'll see he shortly on Girls Gone Wild. We may have already seen her butthole on Reddit.
 
2013-04-04 07:19:21 PM

bacchanalias and consequences: Margaret Mitchell and Brett Easton Ellis, now with young up-and-comer, Suzy Lee Weis, in on the act! C'mon, everybody, let's hear it for retrospective satire!*cue applause*


I farking hate it when Easton-Ellis pulls one of his stunts, because I genuinely like his novels and short stories. But yeah, he is a grating little turd in real life, isn't he? Christ, what an asshole.
 
2013-04-04 07:20:24 PM
Poor kid.

Once I had a bit of a... let's call it a "professional incident" with a presentation that I thought would be funny.

I got blacklisted for a while, lost my job, lost my shot at one of my all-time dream jobs, but certainly it didn't get heard around the world.
 
2013-04-04 07:20:41 PM
Ah yes the classic satire defense.
 
2013-04-04 07:26:40 PM
If she's so dumb that she doesn't understand the concept of applying to a "safety school" it's no big jump to the conclusion that she really doesn't understand the concept of satire either.

/I hear Devry is nice this time of year.
 
2013-04-04 07:28:11 PM

peasants_are_revolting: An SAT of 2120? When I took it, 1,600 was the highest you could go.


She went full retard.
 
2013-04-04 07:28:50 PM

jvl: It wasn't satire.

But it was an attempt to be funny. If you didn't get that, you might just be dumber than a rock.




If she was legitimately trying to be funny, she gets a little sympathy from me. I have loved getting a laugh out of people since I was a little kid imitating Paul Lynde. Time has shown me how hard it can be to be truly humorous, and generally I fail at it. But written humor is IMHO even harder and using 'edgy' material doubly so. She just found out how it feels to bomb on a national stage. That's gotta sting.
 
2013-04-04 07:30:27 PM
Shadowe:

////People don't give a fark outside of the ivy league anyway

LOL. Sure buddy, you keep telling yourself that...
 
2013-04-04 07:32:25 PM

The Muthaship: I really don't know how she could've mad it any more clear she was kidding, and ultimately being self-effacing in her original letter.

People calling her names, and wagging their fingers at her (looking at you here, Gawker) are comically stupid, reactionary twats.


pretty much this, I actually enjoyed it.
 
2013-04-04 07:35:11 PM

aerojockey: In other news, Yale, Princeton, UPenn, and Vanderbilt just saved this young woman about a quarter of a million dollars in student loans.


Mind you, if she's going out-of-state to University of Michigan (or any high-level midwestern university), she'll have at least $100K-$200K in student loans anyways without parental support.

/In-state is laughably expensive.
//Out-of-state is hilariously expensive.
///And then Mom went unemployed and Dad didn't count (divorce), so I got a not-quite free ride for 2 years, and left with $15K.  Pure luck that.
////And then I moved to the Bay Area, and became "Bay Area Poverty", which is real people speak for "Top 10% of household incomes in the country," so $15K is pocket change.
 
2013-04-04 07:36:14 PM

Tigger: yeah, that's convincing

"It was satire"

"It was my wife typing"

"I was in the marine core"


My dog typed it and sent it in
 
2013-04-04 07:41:43 PM

theMagni: Once I had a bit of a... let's call it a "professional incident" with a presentation that I thought would be funny.

I got blacklisted for a while, lost my job, lost my shot at one of my all-time dream jobs, but certainly it didn't get heard around the world.


Sounds like a CSB. Share!
 
2013-04-04 07:46:13 PM

peasants_are_revolting: An SAT of 2120? When I took it, 1,600 was the highest you could go.


"It's a joke."
 
2013-04-04 07:46:18 PM
I read it as a humor piece but I wouldn't use the word satire. But now she's a famous writer, so she's got that going for her. I hope she gets a book deal out of it.

/14 minutes
//don't blow it kid
///you know why
 
2013-04-04 07:49:01 PM

Gyrfalcon: peasants_are_revolting: An SAT of 2120? When I took it, 1,600 was the highest you could go.

"It's a joke."


Max is 2400 now.  There's an essay section now.
 
2013-04-04 07:52:54 PM
As God is her witness
She knows she's funny...
 
2013-04-04 07:53:16 PM

Kaenneth: Mister Pleco: Earl of Chives: LordOfThePings: Yogimus: Debeo Summa Credo: "It was satire"

"It was my wife typing"

"I was in the marine core"

"the cheese stands alone"

"I want to spend more time with my family"

"I was undercover for a story on prostitution"

"It's a slippery slope"

"I swear to God she was dead when I got here"

"My junk is stuck in the slats of my chair"

"She said she was 18."

"I was just giving that prostitute a ride, officer.."

"I have a wide stance."

"I never inhaled"

"I was hiking the Appalachian Trail."

"I was only looking at that for research purposes"

"It was a pun!"

"It must be a side effect of the cancer drugs."


"White liberals are the most racists people there are."
 
2013-04-04 07:54:25 PM

The Muthaship: Gyrfalcon: peasants_are_revolting: An SAT of 2120? When I took it, 1,600 was the highest you could go.

"It's a joke."

Max is 2400 now.  There's an essay section now.


Wow.  So, now there's a point on learning to write essays.

/How I Spent My Summer Vacation....
 
2013-04-04 07:55:22 PM
i see Boxxy is still trolling the net
 
2013-04-04 07:55:51 PM

DarwiOdrade: Kaenneth: Mister Pleco: Earl of Chives: LordOfThePings: Yogimus: Debeo Summa Credo: "It was satire"

"It was my wife typing"

"I was in the marine core"

"the cheese stands alone"

"I want to spend more time with my family"

"I was undercover for a story on prostitution"

"It's a slippery slope"

"I swear to God she was dead when I got here"

"My junk is stuck in the slats of my chair"

"She said she was 18."

"I was just giving that prostitute a ride, officer.."

"I have a wide stance."

"I never inhaled"

"I was hiking the Appalachian Trail."

"I was only looking at that for research purposes"

"It was a pun!"

"It must be a side effect of the cancer drugs."

"White liberals are the most racists people there are."


"Where did that pickle photo come from?"
 
2013-04-04 07:57:19 PM

Kaenneth: Mister Pleco: Earl of Chives: LordOfThePings: Yogimus: Debeo Summa Credo: "It was satire"

"It was my wife typing"

"I was in the marine core"

"the cheese stands alone"

"I want to spend more time with my family"

"I was undercover for a story on prostitution"

"It's a slippery slope"

"I swear to God she was dead when I got here"

"My junk is stuck in the slats of my chair"

"She said she was 18."

"I was just giving that prostitute a ride, officer.."

"I have a wide stance."

"I never inhaled"

"I was hiking the Appalachian Trail."

"I was only looking at that for research purposes"

"It was a pun!"

"It must be a side effect of the cancer drugs."



"Will haben pflichtmitten und der heinerblatzen - There is sauerkraut in my lederhosen"
 
2013-04-04 08:00:15 PM
I would find her more amusing if she were naked.
 
2013-04-04 08:11:12 PM

peasants_are_revolting: An SAT of 2120? When I took it, 1,600 was the highest you could go.



They shouldn't score it at all, that's discriminatory and racist. Everyone should get a participation trophy!
 
2013-04-04 08:11:23 PM
From the excerpts in the article her essay sounds pretty funny. The admissions process really is a joke. What is the definition of favoring one person over the other? Discrimination. As in favoring someones race over their test scores.
 
2013-04-04 08:12:17 PM

The Muthaship: Gyrfalcon: peasants_are_revolting: An SAT of 2120? When I took it, 1,600 was the highest you could go.

"It's a joke."

Max is 2400 now.  There's an essay section now.


Interesting. Explains why the little muffin didn't score higher, I guess...her writing skills are dreadful.
 
2013-04-04 08:13:42 PM

Rufus Lee King: Mister Pleco: The Muthaship: Gyrfalcon: peasants_are_revolting: An SAT of 2120? When I took it, 1,600 was the highest you could go.

"It's a joke."

Max is 2400 now.  There's an essay section now.

Wow.  So, now there's a point on learning to write essays.

/How I Spent My Summer Vacation....

The first day of my summer vacation I woke up. Then I went downtown to look for a job. Then I hung out in front of the drugstore.

The second day of my summer vacation...oh, hell, y'all know the rest.



Hey, I gotta godada can, man!
 
2013-04-04 08:14:59 PM

hundreddollarman: SN1987a goes boom: A Shambling Mound: ModernLuddite: thamike: God Is My Co-Pirate: sentex: tnpir: Tigger: yeah, that's convincing

"It was satire"

"It was my wife typing"

"I was in the marine core"

"the cheese stands alone"

"I want to spend more time with my family"

"I was undercover for a story on prostitution"

"It's a slippery slope"

"I swear to God she was dead when I got here"

"My junk is stuck in the slats of my chair"

"She said she was 18."

"My Twitter got hacked."


"It was an overzealous staffer."
 
2013-04-04 08:15:33 PM
If only she'd been a black, blind lesbian from an inner city.
 
2013-04-04 08:15:46 PM
Her next article will be biatching about not getting that position at the onion
 
2013-04-04 08:16:42 PM

Tigger: yeah, that's convincing

"It was satire"

"It was my wife typing"

"I was in the marine core"


'my handle really is my surname. it's french'
 
2013-04-04 08:16:51 PM

Rufus Lee King: Mister Pleco: The Muthaship: Gyrfalcon: peasants_are_revolting: An SAT of 2120? When I took it, 1,600 was the highest you could go.

"It's a joke."

Max is 2400 now.  There's an essay section now.

Wow.  So, now there's a point on learning to write essays.

/How I Spent My Summer Vacation....

The first day of my summer vacation I woke up. Then I went downtown to look for a job. Then I hung out in front of the drugstore.

The second day of my summer vacation...oh, hell, y'all know the rest.


Far Out.
 
2013-04-04 08:23:15 PM
I want to hear  theMagni's story, too! Do tell, please.

Also FTA:  "In this day and age, we're being judged on things that we cannot control as opposed to things that we can," she said.

In this day and age, as she says, upper middle class white people are indeed being judged on things outside their control, just like ethnic and cultural minorities have been for, like, ever. Boo hoo. The shoe is on the other foot, so to speak.
 
2013-04-04 08:24:06 PM

Lusiphur: In order to be a satire, it would need to be satirizing something. So she's either satirizing herself and her own generation, or she's satirizing the admissions process. The first is suspect because most people of her generation don't feel the need to go on long, bitter rants about affirmative action. In fact, her (and technically my) generation is the most diverse and accepting of diversity ever. If she's satirizing the admissions process, it would seem to me to have been far more effective if done from the perspective of an admissions officer.

I just don't buy the "satire" bit. It sounds more like someone who really sucks at life and is bitter about it, but threw in a line or two at the end to give herself plausible deniability if it went the wrong way.


Or maybe she just really sucks at satire.

When I read the screed last night, that was actually my first thought: "This is too over-the-top. It has to be an April Fools' thing, but the writer just doesn't have a clue what she's doing."
 
2013-04-04 08:24:41 PM
i'd like to hear how spentmiles applied to college
 
2013-04-04 08:25:04 PM

Eustacia Vye: I want to hear  theMagni's story, too! Do tell, please.

Also FTA:  "In this day and age, we're being judged on things that we cannot control as opposed to things that we can," she said.

In this day and age, as she says, upper middle class white people are indeed being judged on things outside their control, just like ethnic and cultural minorities have been for, like, ever. Boo hoo. The shoe is on the other foot, so to speak.


So racism is fine as long as it's reverse racism.
 
2013-04-04 08:26:57 PM

Silly Jesus: Eustacia Vye: I want to hear  theMagni's story, too! Do tell, please.

Also FTA:  "In this day and age, we're being judged on things that we cannot control as opposed to things that we can," she said.

In this day and age, as she says, upper middle class white people are indeed being judged on things outside their control, just like ethnic and cultural minorities have been for, like, ever. Boo hoo. The shoe is on the other foot, so to speak.

So racism is fine as long as it's reverse racism.


I never said the all unfair judgment being done was "fine," just that it's being spread around more equally, it seems.
 
2013-04-04 08:29:08 PM
it's like when you launch a snowball from across the street at the neighbor kid because you think it'll be funny. but then you realize you misjudged your aim and hit him right in the face, and no matter how hard you try to laugh it off and reiterate the fact that "i meant to hit you in the back! it was a joke!" you still look like an asshole.
 
2013-04-04 08:29:13 PM

Eustacia Vye: Silly Jesus: Eustacia Vye: I want to hear  theMagni's story, too! Do tell, please.

Also FTA:  "In this day and age, we're being judged on things that we cannot control as opposed to things that we can," she said.

In this day and age, as she says, upper middle class white people are indeed being judged on things outside their control, just like ethnic and cultural minorities have been for, like, ever. Boo hoo. The shoe is on the other foot, so to speak.

So racism is fine as long as it's reverse racism.

I never said the all unfair judgment being done was "fine," just that it's being spread around more equally, it seems.


No. It's for revenge. Admit it.
 
2013-04-04 08:30:51 PM

ikapoz: DarwiOdrade: Kaenneth: Mister Pleco: Earl of Chives: LordOfThePings: Yogimus: Debeo Summa Credo: "It was satire"

"It was my wife typing"

"I was in the marine core"

"the cheese stands alone"

"I want to spend more time with my family"

"I was undercover for a story on prostitution"

"It's a slippery slope"

"I swear to God she was dead when I got here"

"My junk is stuck in the slats of my chair"

"She said she was 18."

"I was just giving that prostitute a ride, officer.."

"I have a wide stance."

"I never inhaled"

"I was hiking the Appalachian Trail."

"I was only looking at that for research purposes"

"It was a pun!"

"It must be a side effect of the cancer drugs."

"White liberals are the most racists people there are."

"Where did that pickle photo come from?"


"Of COURSE I was trolling; you didn't really think I believed all that nonsense about 'Space Nutters' and immortal atoms, right?"
 
2013-04-04 08:34:47 PM

astouffer: From the excerpts in the article her essay sounds pretty funny. The admissions process really is a joke. What is the definition of favoring one person over the other? Discrimination. As in favoring someones race over their test scores.


Not sure if you're trolling but I'll bite nonetheless.  I graduated HS in '82 and went into the Army since they offered me a great way to pay for college and expenses after my term of enlistment ended. Was a great deal. I gave years of my life, etc., working in an high-stress/ high-end field (ATC) and in return Uncle Sam paid for me to go to [my hopeful] University afterwards.  When I first applied (keep in mind this is years after I graduated HS) I was stunned (almost literally) that they declined me almost out of hand---in short, I hadn't "volunteered" enough "in my community", etc., or visited old-folks-homes or whatever. I called the registrars office and basically said "WTF"....a'la, "so it's not good enough [what I've been doing in preparation] compared to younger kids who, since schools budgets were cut so badly over the years, had to waste time "volunteering" rather than being in, say, marching band or chorus or whatever other programs were cut in my absence?!"

I got accepted. I was even given a grandfather clause to not have to take some other stupid State-mandated entry-test that had been put into place between when I graduated HS ('82) and when I later applied for school (a handful of years later).

/yeah, yeah...CSB
//57th ATC, Ft. Ord, CA., '82-'85
 
2013-04-04 08:36:13 PM
Good thing it wasnt a female writer for Kos or this would be another peg in yhe war on women.
 
2013-04-04 08:44:43 PM
I thought it was pretty amusing, myself.

As a white girl, she should have done an Angelina and Brad Pitt and adopted a bunch of those Africans. How cool would that be on your college application? "I'll be bringing my family with me."
 
2013-04-04 08:45:54 PM
Bless her little heart.....
 
2013-04-04 08:52:13 PM
Christ, you people and the Gawker/tumblr crowd are the biggest bunch of babies. I would have never imagined that a light-hearted opinion piece by a teenage girl could cause so much righteous indignation and vitriol. Dewad thy panties.
 
2013-04-04 08:52:35 PM

UNC_Samurai: ikapoz: DarwiOdrade: Kaenneth: Mister Pleco: Earl of Chives: LordOfThePings: Yogimus: Debeo Summa Credo: "It was satire"

"It was my wife typing"

"I was in the marine core"

"the cheese stands alone"

"I want to spend more time with my family"

"I was undercover for a story on prostitution"

"It's a slippery slope"

"I swear to God she was dead when I got here"

"My junk is stuck in the slats of my chair"

"She said she was 18."

"I was just giving that prostitute a ride, officer.."

"I have a wide stance."

"I never inhaled"

"I was hiking the Appalachian Trail."

"I was only looking at that for research purposes"

"It was a pun!"

"It must be a side effect of the cancer drugs."

"White liberals are the most racists people there are."

"Where did that pickle photo come from?"

"Of COURSE I was trolling; you didn't really think I believed all that nonsense about 'Space Nutters' and immortal atoms, right?"


"Dam it I mint too hit purview, you gays dont reallly thunk I that retarped do you?"
 
2013-04-04 09:03:29 PM
Here's the last paragraph in her article:

"To those claiming that I am bitter-you bet I am! An underachieving selfish teenager making excuses for her own failures? That too! To those of you disgusted by this, shocked that I take for granted the wonderful gifts I have been afforded, I sayshhhh-"The Real Housewives" is on. "

For a 17 year-old, she sounds pretty self-aware.
 
2013-04-04 09:04:53 PM
Pics or I don't want to fark her
 
2013-04-04 09:16:30 PM

Lusiphur: So she's either satirizing herself


"Weiss said she penned her essay after getting numerous rejection letters in a single day. Despite a 4.5 GPA, an SAT score of 2120 and a stint as a U.S. Senate page"

I'm going to guess no to "herself".
 
2013-04-04 09:18:39 PM

Mentat: Ah yes, the last defense of stupid people who get burned on the Internet:  "It's satire".


Being me, I am getting a kick out of these posts.
 
2013-04-04 09:22:46 PM

Eustacia Vye: In this day and age, as she says, upper middle class white people are indeed being judged on things outside their control, just like ethnic and cultural minorities have been for, like, ever. Boo hoo. The shoe is on the other foot, so to speak.


Except being a straight white dude is still the farking best.
 
2013-04-04 09:24:14 PM

Rabbitgod: UNC_Samurai: ikapoz: DarwiOdrade: Kaenneth: Mister Pleco: Earl of Chives: LordOfThePings: Yogimus: Debeo Summa Credo: "It was satire"

"It was my wife typing"

"I was in the marine core"

"the cheese stands alone"

"I want to spend more time with my family"

"I was undercover for a story on prostitution"

"It's a slippery slope"

"I swear to God she was dead when I got here"

"My junk is stuck in the slats of my chair"

"She said she was 18."

"I was just giving that prostitute a ride, officer.."

"I have a wide stance."

"I never inhaled"

"I was hiking the Appalachian Trail."

"I was only looking at that for research purposes"

"It was a pun!"

"It must be a side effect of the cancer drugs."

"White liberals are the most racists people there are."

"Where did that pickle photo come from?"

"Of COURSE I was trolling; you didn't really think I believed all that nonsense about 'Space Nutters' and immortal atoms, right?"

"Dam it I mint too hit purview, you gays dont reallly thunk I that retarped do you?"


"The Aristocrats."
 
2013-04-04 09:37:51 PM
http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/82/reversegoatse8zi.jpg

"Damn it why didn't it work?"
 
2013-04-04 09:38:29 PM
Didn't anyone read the original letter?  It was classic sarcasm.

If any of you took it seriously - you're dumber than this girl ever will be. She even ended the piece with a nod to her own failures.

Some of you people are freakin' stupid.

GAT_00: Once you got mocked by everyone and realized only the WSJ and other affirmative action haters were on your side, it suddenly becomes "satire."  Sure.


Read her original letter before you comment, because I refuse to believe you're so stupid you'd think she was serious.
 
2013-04-04 09:38:32 PM

antisocialworker: Here's the last paragraph in her article:

"To those claiming that I am bitter-you bet I am! An underachieving selfish teenager making excuses for her own failures? That too! To those of you disgusted by this, shocked that I take for granted the wonderful gifts I have been afforded, I sayshhhh-"The Real Housewives" is on. "

For a 17 year-old, she sounds pretty self-aware.


The thing is, if you had read this followup, you would know that that isn't actually true. She got decent, middling marks, volunteered, had extracurricular activities. She just wasn't good enough. And she's bitter about it, because clearly she's better than all that other filth that took her place. She's not like all those other self-entitled whiny losers in her generation. I mean, her parents have money, and connections! So the only reason she didn't get in to her top choice is because of affirmative action, and stupid liberals who lied on their applications, and besides, they only did those activities because they were padding their resumes. Everyone must be as vapid as she is, and no one could possibly care about anything or genuinely want to help people, or have a real moment of enlightenment.

I can see this being humor. I could see this being humor yesterday. But it's conservative humor. The kind that seeks to cover up for individual failure with cruel, mean-spirited caricatures. The kind that uses humor not for exposing truth, nor for making people laugh, but to cover for bitterness and resentment. It's humor as a smoke screen. Humor as an excuse to let her inner demons play free. Worst of all, it's humor that just isn't that funny.
 
2013-04-04 09:39:02 PM

Rabbitgod: http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/82/reversegoatse8zi.jpg

"Damn it why didn't it work?"


Wow I messed up the rolling meme we had going....
 
2013-04-04 09:44:52 PM

Professor Wormbog: it's like when you launch a snowball from across the street at the neighbor kid because you think it'll be funny. but then you realize you misjudged your aim and hit him right in the face, and no matter how hard you try to laugh it off and reiterate the fact that "i meant to hit you in the back! it was a joke!" you still look like an asshole.


+1 funny.
 
2013-04-04 09:45:44 PM

Maud Dib: FTA..Although Weiss didn't get into the Ivy League schools she sought, she was accepted into numerous other prestigious schools including Pennsylvania State, Indiana, Michigan and Wisconsin.

She'll fit right in with those denialists.


Pennsylvania State is not Penn State
 
2013-04-04 09:48:42 PM
It was really farking obvious that it was a satire from the start.
 
2013-04-04 09:51:06 PM

Weigard: Eustacia Vye: In this day and age, as she says, upper middle class white people are indeed being judged on things outside their control, just like ethnic and cultural minorities have been for, like, ever. Boo hoo. The shoe is on the other foot, so to speak.

Except being a straight white dude is still the farking best.


I gotta admit, it's a pretty sweet gig.
 
2013-04-04 09:53:38 PM

thamike: Despite a 4.5 GPA, an SAT score of 2120 and a stint as a U.S. Senate page, Weiss was rejected by Princeton, Yale, Vanderbilt and the University of Pennsylvania.
 


I'm confused. Is that a handjob gif posing as a blowjob gif?
 
2013-04-04 09:56:12 PM

ransack.: Maud Dib: FTA..Although Weiss didn't get into the Ivy League schools she sought, she was accepted into numerous other prestigious schools including Pennsylvania State, Indiana, Michigan and Wisconsin.

She'll fit right in with those denialists.

Pennsylvania State is not Penn State


I hope you're kidding. Pennsylvania State University IS Penn State. The University of Pennsylvania on the other hand, is a completely different animal and an Ivy League school.
 
2013-04-04 10:00:28 PM

Spiffariffic: Rabbitgod: UNC_Samurai: ikapoz: DarwiOdrade: Kaenneth: Mister Pleco: Earl of Chives: LordOfThePings: Yogimus: Debeo Summa Credo: "It was satire"

"It was my wife typing"

"I was in the marine core"

"the cheese stands alone"

"I want to spend more time with my family"

"I was undercover for a story on prostitution"

"It's a slippery slope"

"I swear to God she was dead when I got here"

"My junk is stuck in the slats of my chair"

"She said she was 18."

"I was just giving that prostitute a ride, officer.."

"I have a wide stance."

"I never inhaled"

"I was hiking the Appalachian Trail."

"I was only looking at that for research purposes"

"It was a pun!"

"It must be a side effect of the cancer drugs."

"White liberals are the most racists people there are."

"Where did that pickle photo come from?"

"Of COURSE I was trolling; you didn't really think I believed all that nonsense about 'Space Nutters' and immortal atoms, right?"

"Dam it I mint too hit purview, you gays dont reallly thunk I that retarped do you?"

"The Aristocrats."


"Tuck rule!"
 
2013-04-04 10:00:41 PM

Lusiphur: The kind that seeks to cover up for individual failure with cruel, mean-spirited caricatures.


So what does it mean when, um...uh...not conservatives do it?
 
2013-04-04 10:01:35 PM

Lusiphur: Worst of all, it's humor that just isn't that funny.


True, that.
 
2013-04-04 10:04:56 PM
Look kid, a lot of people on here are pretty sure they couldn't have gotten it wrong, so you can expect to be hounded until you admit you were really really mad, and that they were always right, and steadfast in so being!
 
2013-04-04 10:05:23 PM
Can I just say that for the job I hold, without holding a college degree, many college students apply?  'Cause it's interesting to see them fail at the job with all the encouragement we give them in starting in it.  Sure, they want big bucks and they are not going to get them from the start.  It's the inability to communicate is what kills them.

CSB

Most of my dates have involved college graduated women.  They find me intelligent, a nice weird and the sex is good.  However, when I say that I don't have a degree.... you can see their faces crash.

What show was that where it pauses to show the moment someone's heart is crushed?

It isn't my heart.

/CSB
 
2013-04-04 10:08:55 PM

Mister Pleco: and the sex is good


You can count one the finest, farm fresh gender when you buy from Mr Pleco!

Come check out our newest selection of sex, just off the main road, over behind Crazy Earl's Pickle Piccadilly!
 
2013-04-04 10:09:38 PM

s2s2s2: You can count *on

 
2013-04-04 10:10:43 PM
Actually I typed the "one" on purpose.

/Satire
 
2013-04-04 10:13:48 PM

s2s2s2: Mister Pleco: and the sex is good

You can count one the finest, farm fresh gender when you buy from Mr Pleco!

Come check out our newest selection of sex, just off the main road, over behind Crazy Earl's Pickle Piccadilly!


Don't worry about the flies.  We won't weigh 'em!
 
2013-04-04 10:17:44 PM

theMagni: Poor kid.

Once I had a bit of a... let's call it a "professional incident" with a presentation that I thought would be funny.

I got blacklisted for a while, lost my job, lost my shot at one of my all-time dream jobs, but certainly it didn't get heard around the world.


Go on...
 
pla
2013-04-04 10:38:15 PM
Sad that she backed down, because she nailed the original.

Who gives a fark if someone has done community service feeding minority children while finishing your highschool years in some shiathole of a 3rd world country?  I hear that and my first thoughts waver between "hah, sucker!" and "eew, I wonder what lovely rare diseases they brought back?"  Free hint - Put that on a resume, and I'll "hire" you - As an unpaid intern for as much slave labor as I can get out of you.  Hmm, guess that means "hah, sucker!" wins.  :)

People who need to earn a living afterward go to college for two reasons - 1) To get a better job, and 2) To stay on their parents' insurance for another few years.  They virtually never have the option of prancing around Europe for a year or two before college, and any work they do, they do because they need to make rent, not to show off as nobler-than-the-next-debutante.

Sure, if you never need to work a day in your life, "daddy the diplomat" makes for a great admissions essay.  For the rest of us, the colleges need to drop the pretentious BS and just accept themselves as little more than another four years' buffer to make up for an increasingly aging workforce.

Of course, on the flip side of that, I have to give unis some credit for having quotas - My alma mater wouldn't have had a single non-Asian (not "Asian-American", but "real" Asian, as in, from mainland China) grad student if not for their (minimum) in-state student quota.  Must feel nice to know your home country will pay your tuition, room, and board to have you educated anywhere in the world.


/ Sadly, not a troll
 
2013-04-04 10:44:57 PM
Wow.  What did someone say that I got my own response banninated?  Don't recall it being bad.  Hold on, someone knocking on my do-
 
2013-04-04 10:53:27 PM
Methinks the lady doth protest too much.
 
2013-04-04 10:58:05 PM
I called it as satire in the first thread. It's... kinda obvious.
 
2013-04-04 11:24:45 PM
I do not know the etiquette.  Thanks for the TotalFark!  I dare not deign to look upon you {bows and covers face behind upraised arm and sword}
 
2013-04-04 11:28:45 PM

Wonderduck: Spiffariffic: Rabbitgod: UNC_Samurai: ikapoz: DarwiOdrade: Kaenneth: Mister Pleco: Earl of Chives: LordOfThePings: Yogimus: Debeo Summa Credo: "It was satire"

"It was my wife typing"

"I was in the marine core"

"the cheese stands alone"

"I want to spend more time with my family"

"I was undercover for a story on prostitution"

"It's a slippery slope"

"I swear to God she was dead when I got here"

"My junk is stuck in the slats of my chair"

"She said she was 18."

"I was just giving that prostitute a ride, officer.."

"I have a wide stance."

"I never inhaled"

"I was hiking the Appalachian Trail."

"I was only looking at that for research purposes"

"It was a pun!"

"It must be a side effect of the cancer drugs."

"White liberals are the most racists people there are."

"Where did that pickle photo come from?"

"Of COURSE I was trolling; you didn't really think I believed all that nonsense about 'Space Nutters' and immortal atoms, right?"

"Dam it I mint too hit purview, you gays dont reallly thunk I that retarped do you?"

"The Aristocrats."

"Tuck rule!"


"When I slept with her, i actually slept"
 
2013-04-04 11:30:52 PM
i519.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-04 11:31:06 PM
I have seen TotalFark

moviesmedia.ign.com
 
2013-04-04 11:33:24 PM

Begoggle: [i519.photobucket.com image 616x1024]


That comic ends on what actual trolls want you to believe, and starts with your actual reaction to falling for that shiat.
 
2013-04-04 11:35:31 PM

s2s2s2: Begoggle: [i519.photobucket.com image 616x1024]

That comic ends on what actual trolls want you to believe, and starts with your actual reaction to falling for that shiat.


Isn't just saying "nuh-uh!" easier?
 
2013-04-04 11:59:16 PM

Lonestar: Wonderduck: Spiffariffic: Rabbitgod: UNC_Samurai: ikapoz: DarwiOdrade: Kaenneth: Mister Pleco: Earl of Chives: LordOfThePings: Yogimus: Debeo Summa Credo: "It was satire"

"It was my wife typing"

"I was in the marine core"

"the cheese stands alone"

"I want to spend more time with my family"

"I was undercover for a story on prostitution"

"It's a slippery slope"

"I swear to God she was dead when I got here"

"My junk is stuck in the slats of my chair"

"She said she was 18."

"I was just giving that prostitute a ride, officer.."

"I have a wide stance."

"I never inhaled"

"I was hiking the Appalachian Trail."

"I was only looking at that for research purposes"

"It was a pun!"

"It must be a side effect of the cancer drugs."

"White liberals are the most racists people there are."

"Where did that pickle photo come from?"

"Of COURSE I was trolling; you didn't really think I believed all that nonsense about 'Space Nutters' and immortal atoms, right?"

"Dam it I mint too hit purview, you gays dont reallly thunk I that retarped do you?"

"The Aristocrats."

"Tuck rule!"

"When I slept with her, i actually slept"


"The senator's regrettable behavior was the result of... uh, alcohol addiction! Yeah, that's it. "
 
2013-04-05 12:15:58 AM

LordOfThePings: Isn't just saying "nuh-uh!" easier?


A person submitting an unintentionally stupid comment is, by definition, not a troll.

So either that comic is some butthurt, written by someone that got burned by an actual troll, or is an unintentionally dumb comic.

I guess a third option is that it is a brilliant troll, targeting people who think they won because they, too, were confident posting that comic would let people know who the real winner is.

It has worked for so many other people.

Either way, the people that use it are often this guy:
imgs.xkcd.com
 
2013-04-05 12:34:43 AM

The Snow Dog: If she's so dumb that she doesn't understand the concept of applying to a "safety school" it's no big jump to the conclusion that she really doesn't understand the concept of satire either.


If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss
And lose, and start again from your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your... oops.

Oh, well, wasn't written for girls anyway.
 
2013-04-05 12:55:06 AM

Begoggle: [i519.photobucket.com image 616x1024]


See, the problem I have with this essay is that it is the sort of thing a troll kid going through the laborious college application process actually believes. The garbage about doing volunteer work in 3rd world countries puts it into stupid hyperbole. Yes, top colleges are looking for outstanding people.Yes, I remember thinking WOW, a lot of the people in my freshman class here have done some interesting things. It tries to be funny, but appears as the sort of snark a freshman writing for the Dec might have come up with. Applying for college is a dog and pony show where everyone tries to polish their resume as much as possible. I assume admissions departments have probably heard every stupid lie and listened to every variation on Tracy Flick there is.

Be yourself isn't really bad advice, but you do have to be confident to put your best foot forward. Not everyone was raised in Nepal by travelling acrobats, solving crimes along the way.  Saying WHAT YOU HAVE LEARNED from any amount of community service is all they can ask. Making yourself stand out can be difficult, but it is important to remember when applying for a top flight school that you should have planned for it, and should have answers that make you sound like a good fit at the school. You should be selecting a school that would be good for you, not something just to be a feather in your cap. The dumb broad who fought to get into the Citadel only to get booted in her first year comes to mind. The next woman that applied came from a military family and had the proper mindset to be there, and did quite well IIRC. My one jab here about precious snowflakes is that they don't turn the question around and ask themselves "why SHOULD this school take me?"

All the questions about life experiences and various essays are essentially from the period of time when schools were pressured to quit using automatic GPA/SAT cutoffs, even though those are good predictors of college success. The problem is that more well off students quickly learned to game the life experience system, also. I think the idea originally was pretty much give Frank Grimes type people a helping hand. I remember my calc teacher in high school being dismissive of the argument from the Bell Curve and some studies that were talking about the SAT being an unfair metric for minorities. His diatribe essentially said "the SAT isn't biased against minorities, it's biased against people that don't have money to pay for test prep classes". He offered free math test prep after school, saying "any standardized, 'multiple guess' test can be beaten, you just have to know how." Before teachers were getting blasted for "teaching to the test" for SOLs, he was showing how to beat the SAT system.

Who knows if I know what I am talking about. However in the mid-90s I, as an average kid from WV, managed to get into the #1 public Ivy in the nation. I was 3rd string walkon to my high school's tennis team my senior year, and so never played an actual match. I was on our school's show choir after a friend asked me to join. President of our Model U.N. the same year because I was out of the room when they voted and no one wanted the position. (one thing left out of the essay that stands out to me is the demand for "leadership" elected positions in clubs. There are only so many positions and in HS it's often a popularity contest for many clubs. It leaves a frazzled student trying to explain how much work they did basically doing the president's job, with no title to show for it)

Making fun of "diversity" slots is an easy joke to make,
 
2013-04-05 02:18:33 AM
She's still a whiny, entitled pain in the ass.

She got criticized, big time, as people overall didn't see it as satire - and so she backpedaled and giggled and flipped her hair. Too late, snowflake. You are now forever on the internet as the author of what you call "satire" - she keeps using that word, and she doesn't really know what it means, and she sure as hell can't write one.

Satire... no.

Poorly written crybaby b.s. from someone who thinks entrance to the Ivies should be handed to her, yes.

//have fun at Appy State
/or somewhere like that
 
2013-04-05 05:20:48 AM
I agree with her. The whole system is a crock of superficial BS.

Too bad she's too much of a pussy to stand behind her words.
 
2013-04-05 05:23:55 AM

Lusiphur: antisocialworker: Here's the last paragraph in her article:

"To those claiming that I am bitter-you bet I am! An underachieving selfish teenager making excuses for her own failures? That too! To those of you disgusted by this, shocked that I take for granted the wonderful gifts I have been afforded, I sayshhhh-"The Real Housewives" is on. "

For a 17 year-old, she sounds pretty self-aware.

The thing is, if you had read this followup, you would know that that isn't actually true. She got decent, middling marks, volunteered, had extracurricular activities. She just wasn't good enough. And she's bitter about it, because clearly she's better than all that other filth that took her place. She's not like all those other self-entitled whiny losers in her generation. I mean, her parents have money, and connections! So the only reason she didn't get in to her top choice is because of affirmative action, and stupid liberals who lied on their applications, and besides, they only did those activities because they were padding their resumes. Everyone must be as vapid as she is, and no one could possibly care about anything or genuinely want to help people, or have a real moment of enlightenment.

I can see this being humor. I could see this being humor yesterday. But it's conservative humor. The kind that seeks to cover up for individual failure with cruel, mean-spirited caricatures. The kind that uses humor not for exposing truth, nor for making people laugh, but to cover for bitterness and resentment. It's humor as a smoke screen. Humor as an excuse to let her inner demons play free. Worst of all, it's humor that just isn't that funny.


"Whining about not getting your fair share" sounds liberal as hell to me.
 
2013-04-05 09:10:06 AM
What I find interesting is she *thinks* that people are offended by this because she makes controversial comments...

When we're actually offended because she's essentially criticizing those who work hard and are exceptional and blaming the world for not cradling her ego and pretending she's exceptional.

She utterly personifies the perception of millennials as entitled children expecting the world to treat them like they're precious.
 
2013-04-05 09:13:44 AM

albuquerquehalsey: [i0.kym-cdn.com image 610x1500]


Usually these kind of bug me, but this sir was a work of genius.
 
2013-04-05 09:19:59 AM

WordyGrrl: Lonestar: Wonderduck: Spiffariffic: Rabbitgod: UNC_Samurai: ikapoz: DarwiOdrade: Kaenneth: Mister Pleco: Earl of Chives: LordOfThePings: Yogimus: Debeo Summa Credo: "It was satire"

"It was my wife typing"

"I was in the marine core"

"the cheese stands alone"

"I want to spend more time with my family"

"I was undercover for a story on prostitution"

"It's a slippery slope"

"I swear to God she was dead when I got here"

"My junk is stuck in the slats of my chair"

"She said she was 18."

"I was just giving that prostitute a ride, officer.."

"I have a wide stance."

"I never inhaled"

"I was hiking the Appalachian Trail."

"I was only looking at that for research purposes"

"It was a pun!"

"It must be a side effect of the cancer drugs."

"White liberals are the most racists people there are."

"Where did that pickle photo come from?"

"Of COURSE I was trolling; you didn't really think I believed all that nonsense about 'Space Nutters' and immortal atoms, right?"

"Dam it I mint too hit purview, you gays dont reallly thunk I that retarped do you?"

"The Aristocrats."

"Tuck rule!"

"When I slept with her, i actually slept"

"The senator's regrettable behavior was the result of... uh, alcohol addiction! Yeah, that's it. "


"It wasn't me."
 
2013-04-05 09:32:32 AM
How the fark does Michigan let someone in who got rejected from Vanderbilt? Weird.
 
2013-04-05 09:41:16 AM

Chach: How the fark does Michigan let someone in who got rejected from Vanderbilt? Weird.


Perhaps because there is some truth in satire(you farking halfwits who are upset that you got caught thinking this was written in ernest)?
 
2013-04-05 10:22:05 AM
Half of me wants to declare "entitled little twunt", but the other half acknowledges that she isn't entirely wrong.
 
2013-04-05 10:30:35 AM

beerrun: WordyGrrl: Lonestar: Wonderduck: Spiffariffic: Rabbitgod: UNC_Samurai: ikapoz: DarwiOdrade: Kaenneth: Mister Pleco: Earl of Chives: LordOfThePings: Yogimus: Debeo Summa Credo: "It was satire"

"It was my wife typing"

"I was in the marine core"

"the cheese stands alone"

"I want to spend more time with my family"

"I was undercover for a story on prostitution"

"It's a slippery slope"

"I swear to God she was dead when I got here"

"My junk is stuck in the slats of my chair"

"She said she was 18."

"I was just giving that prostitute a ride, officer.."

"I have a wide stance."

"I never inhaled"

"I was hiking the Appalachian Trail."

"I was only looking at that for research purposes"

"It was a pun!"

"It must be a side effect of the cancer drugs."

"White liberals are the most racists people there are."

"Where did that pickle photo come from?"

"Of COURSE I was trolling; you didn't really think I believed all that nonsense about 'Space Nutters' and immortal atoms, right?"

"Dam it I mint too hit purview, you gays dont reallly thunk I that retarped do you?"

"The Aristocrats."

"Tuck rule!"

"When I slept with her, i actually slept"

"The senator's regrettable behavior was the result of... uh, alcohol addiction! Yeah, that's it. "

"It wasn't me."


"My hovercraft is full of eels"
 
2013-04-05 10:31:26 AM

Gyrfalcon: The Muthaship: Gyrfalcon: peasants_are_revolting: An SAT of 2120? When I took it, 1,600 was the highest you could go.

"It's a joke."

Max is 2400 now.  There's an essay section now.

Interesting. Explains why the little muffin didn't score higher, I guess...her writing skills are dreadful.


If you think her writing skills are dreadful, then you haven't been anywhere near a high school lately. Her humor didn't land as well as she wanted, but her writing was fine.

2120 is the rough equivalent of a 1400-1410 in the old system. That's pretty good. It's possible that she maxed out the writing and critical reading sections, and then scored only average in math. That would make some schools shy away from her.
 
2013-04-05 10:35:36 AM

GoldSpider: Half of me wants to declare "entitled little twunt", but the other half acknowledges that she isn't entirely wrong.


No, she was wrong in almost every aspect of that piece.  I have no idea what her message was supposed to be, but she missed the mark badly if that was supposed to be humorous or satirical.
 
2013-04-05 11:06:40 AM

AdmirableSnackbar: I have no idea what her message was supposed to be, but she missed the mark badly if that was supposed to be humorous or satirical.


I'd guess she was mocking her own poutrage at a day's worth of rejection letters.
 
2013-04-05 11:10:36 AM

cwheelie: beerrun: WordyGrrl: Lonestar: Wonderduck: Spiffariffic: Rabbitgod: UNC_Samurai: ikapoz: DarwiOdrade: Kaenneth: Mister Pleco: Earl of Chives: LordOfThePings: Yogimus: Debeo Summa Credo: "It was satire"

"It was my wife typing"

"I was in the marine core"

"the cheese stands alone"

"I want to spend more time with my family"

"I was undercover for a story on prostitution"

"It's a slippery slope"

"I swear to God she was dead when I got here"

"My junk is stuck in the slats of my chair"

"She said she was 18."

"I was just giving that prostitute a ride, officer.."

"I have a wide stance."

"I never inhaled"

"I was hiking the Appalachian Trail."

"I was only looking at that for research purposes"

"It was a pun!"

"It must be a side effect of the cancer drugs."

"White liberals are the most racists people there are."

"Where did that pickle photo come from?"

"Of COURSE I was trolling; you didn't really think I believed all that nonsense about 'Space Nutters' and immortal atoms, right?"

"Dam it I mint too hit purview, you gays dont reallly thunk I that retarped do you?"

"The Aristocrats."

"Tuck rule!"

"When I slept with her, i actually slept"

"The senator's regrettable behavior was the result of... uh, alcohol addiction! Yeah, that's it. "

"It wasn't me."

"My hovercraft is full of eels"


i.imgur.com
 
2013-04-05 11:13:42 AM

AdmirableSnackbar: No, she was wrong in almost every aspect of that piece. I have no idea what her message was supposed to be, but she missed the mark badly if that was supposed to be humorous or satirical.


She was definitely backpedaling here, and I think she should stick by her initial criticism of the admissions process.  The outraged accusations of bigotry is a sure sign that she landed a few direct hits.
 
2013-04-05 11:17:26 AM

Debeo Summa Credo: Somaticasual: SN1987a goes boom: A Shambling Mound: ModernLuddite: thamike: God Is My Co-Pirate: sentex: tnpir: Tigger: yeah, that's convincing

"It was satire"

"It was my wife typing"

"I was in the marine core"

"the cheese stands alone"

"I want to spend more time with my family"

"I was undercover for a story on prostitution"

"It's a slippery slope"

"I swear to God she was dead when I got here"

"My junk is stuck in the slats of my chair"

"She said she was 18."

"I was just giving that prostitute a ride, officer.."

"I have a wide stance."


"Thurstonxhowell sounds butthurt."
 
2013-04-05 11:36:22 AM

Dancin_In_Anson: Car_Ramrod: As an Illini alum, we don't want her. Send her someplace it's easy to get into, like Purdue.

It was a movie quote.


Joking with kids these days is risky business.
 
2013-04-05 11:39:16 AM

thurstonxhowell: I would like to move that we strike ... this usage of "entitled" from the language.


We need a new word to replace "rights not conferred by the market." What do you propose?
 
2013-04-05 11:45:07 AM

GoldSpider: AdmirableSnackbar: No, she was wrong in almost every aspect of that piece. I have no idea what her message was supposed to be, but she missed the mark badly if that was supposed to be humorous or satirical.

She was definitely backpedaling here, and I think she should stick by her initial criticism of the admissions process.  The outraged accusations of bigotry is a sure sign that she landed a few direct hits.


Ah, the old Rush Limbaugh "if people are upset by what I say it must mean that I am correct".
 
2013-04-05 11:54:24 AM
Apparently no one bothered to read the full essay, just the edited version some news organization posted.
The last paragraph, which was conveniently left out of the original farking article, makes it pretty clear the essay was satire.
 
2013-04-05 11:57:26 AM

s2s2s2: AdmirableSnackbar: I have no idea what her message was supposed to be, but she missed the mark badly if that was supposed to be humorous or satirical.

I'd guess she was mocking her own poutrage at a day's worth of rejection letters.


She says now that she was mocking, but it sure seemed like venting when I read it.  What she needs to understand (if she pursues a career in writing, which I hope for her sake she does not) is that if she's mocking herself then there needs to be some hint of that throughout the piece, rather than one throwaway line at the end which easily could be misinterpreted given the harsh, bitter tone of the rest of the essay.

The part that I thought was funny - which was obviously unintentional - was that ridiculous swipe at Elizabeth Warren, a woman that she should strive with every fiber of her being to emulate rather than deride.  Then again, I was living inside the "conservative" bubble when I was her age, so there's hope for her yet.  Hopefully she meets the right people when she does go to college and her beliefs get challenged just a little bit, because it doesn't sound like that's happened to her ever up until these rejections.
 
2013-04-05 11:58:35 AM

AdmirableSnackbar: Ah, the old Rush Limbaugh "if people are upset by what I say it must mean that I am correct".


Not always the case, but I think so here.  Unless for some reason you don't believe that universities use non-academic factors in admissions evaluations...
 
2013-04-05 12:07:48 PM

CleanAndPure: I would find her more amusing if she were naked.


You only see a JAP naked when you're already in too deep to find it amusing. Or arousing.
 
2013-04-05 12:11:00 PM

DeathCipris: Apparently no one bothered to read the full essay, just the edited version some news organization posted.
The last paragraph, which was conveniently left out of the original farking article, makes it pretty clear the essay was satire.


Forget it.  They're rolling.
 
2013-04-05 12:12:35 PM

GoldSpider: AdmirableSnackbar: Ah, the old Rush Limbaugh "if people are upset by what I say it must mean that I am correct".

Not always the case, but I think so here.  Unless for some reason you don't believe that universities use non-academic factors in admissions evaluations...


They absolutely do.  And they're completely up-front about that even though the author seems to feel that they are not.  And by non-academic factors I mean after-school activities that show a willingness to challenge yourself by pushing your comfort zones.  The author attempted to minimize people who do that, which means she clearly misunderstood what colleges are looking for in prospective students - but rather than come to that realization she blames everyone else - especially her parents, which is by far the worst thing she said in the piece - for them actually trying while she sat on her ass.

The whole piece she essentially blasts college acceptance offices, essentially saying that they can't weed out the BSers from the people who actually worked hard.  She insults their intelligence as well as the reader's, seemingly assuming that they are no match for her own while proving throughout the piece that she's far from the sharpest knife in the drawer.  When you take the tone of the essay at face value, it's not at all a stretch to assume that the latent bitter bigotry she portrays is not latent at all.
 
2013-04-05 12:18:16 PM

Jesda: Lusiphur: I can see this being humor. I could see this being humor yesterday. But it's conservative humor. The kind that seeks to cover up for individual failure with cruel, mean-spirited caricatures. The kind that uses humor not for exposing truth, nor for making people laugh, but to cover for bitterness and resentment. It's humor as a smoke screen. Humor as an excuse to let her inner demons play free. Worst of all, it's humor that just isn't that funny.

"Whining about not getting your fair share" sounds liberal as hell to me.


"Liberal" would be whining about others not getting their fair share.
 
2013-04-05 12:20:22 PM

The Muthaship: DeathCipris: Apparently no one bothered to read the full essay, just the edited version some news organization posted.
The last paragraph, which was conveniently left out of the original farking article, makes it pretty clear the essay was satire.

Forget it.  They're rolling.


There was another paragraph after the "Shh, Real Housewives is on"?
 
2013-04-05 12:26:26 PM

AdmirableSnackbar: There was another paragraph after the "Shh, Real Housewives is on"?


There didn't need to be.  That one was the sledge hammer for those that somehow avoided the baseball bats throughout.

How long have you worked in academia?
 
2013-04-05 12:38:15 PM

The Muthaship: AdmirableSnackbar: There was another paragraph after the "Shh, Real Housewives is on"?

There didn't need to be.  That one was the sledge hammer for those that somehow avoided the baseball bats throughout.

How long have you worked in academia?


Sledge hammer?  Baseball bats?  Yeah, she sure told...someone...something.  It's not really clear who she told, or what exactly her point was supposed to be, but if you say she showed them good, I'm certainly inclined to believe you on the basis of nothing at all.
 
2013-04-05 12:43:45 PM

AdmirableSnackbar: She says now that she was mocking, but it sure seemed like venting when I read it.


These are not mutually exclusive.
 
2013-04-05 12:45:26 PM

AdmirableSnackbar: Yeah, she sure told...someone...something.


I can't believe you still think she was trying to "tell" anyone anything.

But rail away, you certainly aren't the only one basking in their self-righteousness.
 
2013-04-05 01:01:32 PM

The Muthaship: AdmirableSnackbar: Yeah, she sure told...someone...something.

I can't believe you still think she was trying to "tell" anyone anything.

But rail away, you certainly aren't the only one basking in their self-righteousness.


Then what the fark was her point?  I'm not being self-righteous at all.  I'm saying that she's wrong, not that I'm right.  I've seen you and others back her up on her claim of satire, but could you clear it up for me as to exactly who or what she is satirizing?
 
kgf
2013-04-05 01:02:24 PM
Was all prepared to make fun of the "entitled, butthurt, college-rejected high schooler", but then I read her op-ed and agreed with everything she said.
 
2013-04-05 01:03:41 PM

AdmirableSnackbar: I've seen you and others back her up on her claim of satire, but could you clear it up for me as to exactly who or what she is satirizing?


I doubt I can do it any better than she did.

So, tell me this (if you feel like it).  What part of it came off as serious?
 
2013-04-05 01:06:46 PM

kgf: Was all prepared to make fun of the "entitled, butthurt, college-rejected high schooler", but then I read her op-ed and agreed with everything she said.


You agree that this generation of 20somethings, alone among all the cohorts of humanity throughout history, deserves not to have the deck stacked against them as they start out in life? What the fark did they do to earn that exalted status? (And no, greater awareness and perspective of your world doesn't earn you anything.)
 
2013-04-05 01:15:36 PM

The Muthaship: AdmirableSnackbar: I've seen you and others back her up on her claim of satire, but could you clear it up for me as to exactly who or what she is satirizing?

I doubt I can do it any better than she did.

So, tell me this (if you feel like it).  What part of it came off as serious?


The whole thing.  It came off as a sour grapes rant where she's angry at everyone but herself, even in that last paragraph.

I do notice that you didn't answer my question, though.  And that's not a dig on you, it seems to be pretty standard for everyone who for some reason agrees with her. Who or what is she satirizing?  Where is the funny part of her article?  Because I'm not seeing it at all.  I realize that if you have to explain a joke then it loses its humor but her joke just wasn't funny in any way, shape, or form, so I would appreciate it if you would let me in on whatever fun is available based on her essay.  I like fun things.
 
2013-04-05 01:21:59 PM

AdmirableSnackbar: And that's not a dig on you, it seems to be pretty standard for everyone who for some reason agrees with her.


I just don't think there's anything to agree or disagree with.  To me, she seems like she's lamenting not doing the things she needed to do to position herself to get into the schools she wanted to attend.  She is the butt of most of her humor attempts.  Not everyone would find the same things funny, and I can see how some people might view some of her "jokes" as less than kind hearted.  She does also make light of just how high the standards are, and how things that don't necessarily relate to aptitude for the course of study being contemplated are considered in the admission process.  But, I didn't get the feeling she thought that was wrong, only that she wished she'd have been more aggressive in pursuing the resume` items she needed.  Some of her references are less than PC.  I don't mind that, personally.
 
2013-04-05 01:24:32 PM

The Muthaship: But, I didn't get the feeling she thought that was wrong, only that she wished she'd have been more aggressive in pursuing the resume` items she needed.


That's really what you took away from it?
 
2013-04-05 01:32:17 PM

GoldSpider: The Muthaship: But, I didn't get the feeling she thought that was wrong, only that she wished she'd have been more aggressive in pursuing the resume` items she needed.

That's really what you took away from it?


That was a big part of it, for me.  What was the thrust of it for you?
 
2013-04-05 01:39:32 PM
My god are there a lot of precious snowflakes in this thread who get so easily bent out of shape from something that was clearly satire. Grow up nancies.
 
2013-04-05 01:48:57 PM

The Muthaship: GoldSpider: The Muthaship: But, I didn't get the feeling she thought that was wrong, only that she wished she'd have been more aggressive in pursuing the resume` items she needed.

That's really what you took away from it?

That was a big part of it, for me.  What was the thrust of it for you?


She was clearly claiming that people who do pursue those resume items are either insincere or lying rather than actually doing those things.  It's not that she wanted to do them, it's that she regrets not lying like the others did and not having anything "interesting" like two moms or a fake minority status.

In response to your entire post to me, I'd say also that she didn't make light of just how high the standards are at all.  She felt that they were high because she had no interest in doing anything outside of school. It's hard to meet extracurricular standards if you don't even try, and she flat out says she didn't try - while blaming her parents for not forcing her to try - and then she whines that others who did try to expand their horizons got preferential treatment over her.  She missed the entire farking point that people were making to her and blames everyone else for her misunderstanding.

And while it's fun to be not-PC (hell, isn't that why we're Farkers?), when your main point is invalid then any non-PC remarks you make can come across as bigoted and stupid.  I respect her attempt to walk that fine line between being "less than PC" and coming across as a stupid bigot but she failed miserably there, too.

I guess I see what she was trying to do but man oh man did she fail in every conceivable way.
 
2013-04-05 01:52:28 PM

Car_Ramrod: "Like millions of teenagers out there, I was crying to my mom and she said 'I cannot hear about this any more, just go talk to someone else,' so I called my sister," she said. "I was crying, but she was hysterically laughing, and she said, 'Go write this down.' So I did, and this is what came out of it."

...How does that equate to satire?

"It's a satire. That's the point. Just like '30 Rock' is a satire, which pokes fun at things that are politically correct. That's what I was trying to do," Weiss told TODAY's Savannah Guthrie.

Oh, I get it. She doesn't know what satire is. Makes sense now.


So she thinks that just because she watches '30 Rock' she's suddenly an expert on satire?

If she REALLY wants to know the reason why she wasn't selected for the Ivy League schools; she need to look no further than the open 'satirical' letter she penned to those who 'scorned' her.

I'm no fan of the college admissions process either (it's a goddamned racket).  But what she did was just some crybaby, entitlist rubbish.
 
2013-04-05 01:54:49 PM

AdmirableSnackbar: She was clearly claiming that people who do pursue those resume items are either insincere or lying rather than actually doing those things.


In her defense, there's a ton of that.
 
2013-04-05 02:01:39 PM

The Muthaship: AdmirableSnackbar: She was clearly claiming that people who do pursue those resume items are either insincere or lying rather than actually doing those things.

In her defense, there's a ton of that.


Maybe, depending on how you define "a ton of that". It happens but it's far from the norm, and for the most part college admissions offices see right through the lies. She was told - correctly so - that getting into a college was a game and she wanted to play.  But she wanted to play the game her way, not by the rules she was given.  When she lost, she blamed the refs (admissions offices), her coaches (her parents), her opponents for being better than she was, and then she claimed that others got a head start (her borderline bigotry).

It would have been a lot better satire had she decided to bypass college entirely.  If you play a game, you need to play to win. If you don't do that then you don't get to whine about losing.
 
2013-04-05 02:03:08 PM

AdmirableSnackbar: If you play a game, you need to play to win. If you don't do that then you don't get to whine about losing.


On this we agree.  Can we go get a beer now?
 
2013-04-05 02:29:50 PM

The Muthaship: AdmirableSnackbar: If you play a game, you need to play to win. If you don't do that then you don't get to whine about losing.

On this we agree.  Can we go get a beer now?


Absolutely.
 
2013-04-05 04:19:58 PM
Can't wait to catch up with her in four years and find out that she blames her not getting a six-figure salary straight out of whatever cow college she picks is due to brown people, people whose parents  really really loved them, and everything and anything but her shiatty attitude.
 
2013-04-05 05:29:40 PM

Mr. Toadcheese: Can't wait to catch up with her in four years and find out that she blames her not getting a six-figure salary straight out of whatever cow college she picks is due to brown people, people whose parents  really really loved them, and everything and anything but her shiatty attitude. picking a terrible major or not moving to the highest COL areas in the country after getting a degree in a non-terrible major.


FTFY.  You CAN get a six-figure job straight out of college, but it usually involves getting an in-high-demand engineering degree from a good program, and then moving to NYC or SF, where the poverty line is something like $60K.

/Or being expected to work a minimum of 80 hours a week with occasional spikes to 100+ and always being on 24/7 on-call.
//There's a reason why I took a 35% real paycut and 60% paycut once you count COL to avoid that job.
 
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