colon_pow: still pissed at that farker from about 5 years ago who anagramed my name into clown poo.
Felgraf: Eh, I'm not good at holding grudges. I'd like to say it's for high-minded 'I'd like to forgive them!" stuff, but, really...IT'S EXHAUSTING. It just seems to take so much EFFORT for me to hold a grudge! Anger, sure, I can be angry at folks, but that's different. A grudge is just... *draining* for me. So, eh, fark it.
DanZero: They probably didn't have spelling errors or were completely accurate in their headline describing the article with no signs of trolling
Cheops: What a hateful person.
SpdrJay: I'm still mad at the doctor for slapping my ass when I popped out of my mom....
Assimilate This: I will put them out of my life and move on.
pute kisses like a man: i'm a lot faster to just write people out of my life than hold a grudge. either i want them in my life, and i don't hold a grudge, i solve the problem. or, they are a problem and i don't want them in my life. i just live like they don't exist. pretty easy really. of course, not since high school has any one ever gone out of the way to fark with me** except homeless people, criminals, drunk asswipes, and wondering crazies... but, if you hold a grudge against these people, then you're the real crazy one.
Rik01: I never forget and I never forgive.I recall that quote, but can't recall where it's from.I carry grudges. I carry resentment. I used to ponder the 'forgive and forget' set and later decided that they're full of shiat. Some things I can forgive and some things I can't.I still recall that kid in school who made my life a living hell. I aint gonna forgive him. I also recall the physical education coach who stopped me from beating his arse after I had finally generated enough rage to do so. It had taken years.I'm not forgiving the coach either.I'm not going to forgive those two drunk cowboys who rearranged my face because the counter girl at a 7-11 wouldn't sell them beer after hours. (However, I am proud of throwing the best punch of my life which knocked the biggest of the two right out through the double doors.) He attacked me first, as I happened to be within reach.I still recall the stitches, the fractured sinus cavities, broken nose and broken jaw and the pain I went through. I don't think the $150 he got fined for assault was sufficient.I don't think the human being is psychologically geared to forgive and forget. That's one reason why we have all of these laws which prevent us from going after someone who harmed us and bouncing a cement brick off their head.The guy who broke into my 1967 GTO yeaqrs ago and ripped out my CB radio didn't know I wasn't making much money at my job, probably didn't know that tearing it out screwed up my dash wiring and cost me money and time to repair.Still, had I caught him I probably would have used the switchblade I carried to express my outrage at being 'violated'. I figure he'd have walked away with enough scars to remember me each time he looked in a mirror.About the time home invasions started taking the place of the night time burglar, I fully understood when home owners started buying guns and blowing their shiat away.When we get emotionally injured, it goes deeper than an actual physical hurt. It activates buried frustrations and feelings of helplessness if we can't strike back. Not good to dwell on, but you're not going to just say 'well, that's OK. You were having a bad day when you cracked my skull.'Having them arrested and convicted is one way to handle it. Suing the krap out of them is another. Still, the anger is hard to let go of and many of us want them to feel pain equal to or greater than they inflicted on us.I think it's a basic survival instinct. Some folks find it much easier to forgive after they've whacked the offender across the head with a baseball bat.That's why we have a rather complex assortment of laws. Some things you can forgive and some things, IMO, you can't. Some of it depends on how powerless the incident made you feel. Some attacks can even change your personality. I've known nice, trusting folks who got taken advantage of badly, turn later into suspicious, paranoid, rather unpleasant people.The implementation of various laws have kept a whole lot of abused folks from taking severe revenge by the simple threat of winding up in prison.BTW, forgiving a stone cold killer who took a loved one from you might seem cool, but I seriously doubt if it makes much difference to the human rabid animal who is more pi$$ed off that he got caught than anything else. At least 9 out of 10 times.Healthier for you to forgive? Maybe, sometimes. At other times, holding a grudge can drive you to higher levels of performance. Often, what you learned from being attacked will keep you from having the same thing happen again.
doubled99: last week a man bumped into me on Fifth Avenue. "Out of the way, tutti-frutti!" he boomed, eliciting shocked glances from passersby. As I scanned for a cop, I thought,Sounds like his assessment of you was dead on
The Muthaship: Assimilate This: I will put them out of my life and move on.That ain't forgiving.
DontMakeMeComeBackThere: doubled99: last week a man bumped into me on Fifth Avenue. "Out of the way, tutti-frutti!" he boomed, eliciting shocked glances from passersby. As I scanned for a cop, I thought,Sounds like his assessment of you was dead onThis. I pretty much agree with the queen that today's "You killed my mother last night...oh well, no point in holding a grudge" attitude is really stupid...but WTF was up with that? If there are laws in NYC about comments like that then just maybe they've carried homosexuals as a protected class just a bit too far.
BarkingUnicorn: Forgiveness or its withholding does fark-all for or to the forgiven or unforgiven. The purpose of forgiveness is to make the forgiver feel better.
Mouser: God will judge each of us according to our behavior.
ciberido: colon_pow: still pissed at that farker from about 5 years ago who anagramed my name into clown poo.Is "clown poo" really that big a step down from "colon pow," seriously?
Ishkur: Mouser: God will judge each of us according to our behavior.What a coincidence. I plan on judging him according to his behavior, too./He gets an F
Popular Opinion: to be fair, he can't give everyone a big weiner.
Ishkur: Popular Opinion: to be fair, he can't give everyone a big weiner.Are you saying God has limitations?
Popular Opinion: you might think of it as discretion.
earthworm2.0: I hold grudges. Can't help it. Certain memories come up, and I think of how wronged I was, and that no one is going to stand up for me but me. And I hold those grudges, until I get revenge. And.then they are forgotten, and I can finally rest that part of my mind. I wait. I bide my time. I plan. And I exact retribution upon them in exacting measures. I take back that part of me that was victimized, until I don't feel like a victim anymore. I have had people lie on me, I have had them steal from me, take advantage of me. And I take back the part of me they stole. Yeah, I'm bitter. But I am my own justice.I realize it sounds bad, when I lay it out like that. But there is nothing better than the relief I feel when they get what's coming. Like, the girl.who borrowed 100$, then refused to pay me back, and tried to fight me for even mentioning it. I smashed her car Windows. I got my 100$ back. May not have been into my pocket, but it didn't get to stay in hers either. I have a list. They all will get their cumuppens.
Mouser: BarkingUnicorn: Forgiveness or its withholding does fark-all for or to the forgiven or unforgiven. The purpose of forgiveness is to make the forgiver feel better.What you "feel" is irrelevant. What you do is all that matters.Forgiveness is the measure of a man's soul. We've all committed misdeeds, and God will judge each of us according to our behavior. The yardstick He chooses to use is forgiveness--we will only be forgiven for the harm we've done to the extent that we've forgiven those who've harmed us. It's the only judgment a righteous God can make.
WordyGrrl: Forgiveness only "works" if the perpetrator regrets what he/she did.
BarkingUnicorn: This would be one of them. Without variations in size, there can be no "big."
Ishkur: BarkingUnicorn: This would be one of them. Without variations in size, there can be no "big."But God is infinite, therefore there can be no such thing as quantities.Holy crap, I think I just disproved Go**poof**
BarkingUnicorn: God may be infinite; his creation is not.
BarkingUnicorn: Mouser: BarkingUnicorn: Forgiveness or its withholding does fark-all for or to the forgiven or unforgiven. The purpose of forgiveness is to make the forgiver feel better.What you "feel" is irrelevant. What you do is all that matters.Forgiveness is the measure of a man's soul. We've all committed misdeeds, and God will judge each of us according to our behavior. The yardstick He chooses to use is forgiveness--we will only be forgiven for the harm we've done to the extent that we've forgiven those who've harmed us. It's the only judgment a righteous God can make.I almost hate to knock down an argument that supports my position so well.What I feel is all that matters to me, and only I can make me do anything. All I do, I do to feel better. And so do you, and everyone else.You, feeling guilt for having wronged me, feel better if you know I forgive you. So you concoct this whole God theory to make me say, "I forgive you." It does you fark-all if I forgive you in my heart, where forgiveness actually occurs. You must have an outward sign of forgiveness in order to feel better. So you stoop to blackmail: "Say, 'I forgive you' or my muscle boy here will lay a hurt on you."
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