Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Florida Today)   God makes himself known -- on a Goldfish cracker   ( divider line
    More: Florida, goldfish, god, goldfish crackers, Pepperidge Farm, Holy Week, Presbyterian Church of Wales, Florida Today, eternal life  
•       •       •

6103 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Apr 2013 at 10:34 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-04-04 10:40:59 AM  
4 votes:

Ennuipoet: I think the bigger question here is why anyone looks at their goldfish before eating it?  The whole idea of the damn snack is to shove a fistful at a time right in your pie hole.

That's not how you're supposed to eat goldfish!  You have to take each one individually, and 'swim' it around in front of you before you chomp down on it.  Bonus points for speaking in the fish's voice - something along the lines of "Oh no! A shark!" just before you eat it.  Note that the voice should be high pitched and sound frightened.
2013-04-04 10:19:00 AM  
3 votes:
Patti Burke claims cracker is a sign from God

Patti Burke admits that the cracker she's holding in her hands has more sense than she does.
2013-04-04 11:38:02 AM  
2 votes:


There's a cow on that spoon holder!
2013-04-04 10:52:33 AM  
2 votes:
It's not a sign from Jesus. It's a sign from St. Phillips.
-Jesus, I could use a screw.
2013-04-04 10:51:09 AM  
2 votes:
2013-04-04 10:38:48 AM  
2 votes:
"I believe that it's a sign, a sign from God, that ... he is still in our life every day and he wants to show that to his people," Burke said of the baked cheddar cracker.


Apparently Pat Robertson is wrong, not everyone is too educated for miracles.
2013-04-04 11:59:02 AM  
1 vote:
I love how God half-asses all of his signs.
2013-04-04 11:17:22 AM  
1 vote:
2013-04-04 10:51:12 AM  
1 vote:
That's not a cross, it's an X.  That is a straight-edge goldfish.
2013-04-04 10:44:54 AM  
1 vote:
 Patti Burke later found staring at a street sign, "Its a sign from God, he's still in our everyday lives. See it makes a cross at the top."
2013-04-04 10:44:50 AM  
1 vote:
Oy... Lady...

The mold used to press the uncooked crackers misaligned. What you're seeing is a phillips screw imprint. I'm a Christian and all I can think here is "These stupid Christians"
2013-04-04 10:44:11 AM  
1 vote:
"Patti Burke eats two or three pounds of Goldfish crackers in a week..."

Lady, I think when they spoke of feeding the multitudes, it doesn't mean it all went to one person.

/Ah, Melbourne. Local news is best news.
2013-04-04 10:40:31 AM  
1 vote:
He had to Subby, Mary was toast.
2013-04-04 10:37:00 AM  
1 vote:
Doesn't a goldfish cracker already look like a religious symbol?
2013-04-04 10:21:27 AM  
1 vote:

I_Am_Weasel: I thought plus or multiplication.  It's a school fish.

I've got to make it through three strange days.
2013-04-04 10:16:27 AM  
1 vote:
I thought plus or multiplication.  It's a school fish.
Displayed 16 of 16 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.

In Other Media
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.