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(The Atlantic)   America's "hookup culture" isn't a problem, and the reason people aren't having as much promiscuous sex they'd like is because rejection is a big part of romance, especially when you're ugly   (theatlantic.com) divider line 50
    More: PSA, promiscuities, history of human sexuality, suicide rates, Oberlin, Puritanism, Mordor, cultures  
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8210 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Apr 2013 at 11:15 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-04-04 11:23:08 AM
7 votes:

ms_lara_croft: Is this going to be the thread where nice guys come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?


lolfeminist.files.wordpress.com
2013-04-04 12:28:29 PM
6 votes:
The best article ever written on the subject of Nice Guys:

But If We Started Dating It Would Ruin Our Friendship Where I Ask You To Do Things And You Do Them

I really like you. I do. You're so nice, and sweet, and you listen to all my problems and respond with the appropriate compliments. But, well, I don't really see a relationship in our future. It would be terrible if we let sex destroy this great friendship we have where I get everything I want and you get nothing you want. Don't you think?

I knew you would understand. You always do.

We're so perfect as friends, you know? I can tell you anything, and you know you can always come to me anytime you need to hear me biatch about work or how ugly I feel. You wouldn't want to ruin a friendship like that just so you could be my boyfriend, and have me look at you with desire and longing in my eyes, if only once-would you? Of course not. Well, if we started dating, it would only complicate this wonderful setup I've got going here.

It's just...you're like my best friend, and I would hate for something you desperately want to change that. I mean, sure, we could go on some dates, maybe mess around a little and finally validate the six years you've spent languishing in this platonic nightmare, but then what? How could we ever go back to the way we were, where I take advantage of your clear attraction to me so I can have someone at my beck and call? That part of our friendship means so much to me.

No. We are just destined to be really, really good friends who only hang out when I don't have a boyfriend, but still need male attention to boost my fragile and all-consuming ego.

Anything can happen once you bring romance in. Think about how awful my last relationship was at the end, remember? The guy I'd call you crying about at 3 a.m. because he wouldn't answer my texts? The guy I met at the birthday party you threw me? I had insanely passionate sex with him for four months and now we don't even talk anymore. God, I would die if something like that happened to us.

Plus, ick, can you even imagine getting naked in front of each other? I've known you so long, you're more like a brother that I've drunkenly made out with twice and never mentioned again. It'd be way too weird. And if we did, then whenever you'd come shopping with me, or go to one of my performances or charity events, or take me for ice cream when I've had a bad day at work, you'd be looking at me like, "I've seen her breasts." God, I can't think of anything more awkward that that.
Oh, before I forget, my mom says hi.

Anyway, you would totally hate me as your girlfriend. I'd be all needy and dramatic and slowly growing to love you. If I was your girlfriend, I would never be able to tell you all about the other asshole guys I date and pretend I don't see how much it crushes you. Let's never lose that. That's what makes us us.

Don't worry. You're so funny and smart and amazing, any girl but me would be lucky to date you. You'll find someone, I know it. And when you do, I'll be right by your side to suddenly become all flirty and affectionate with you in front of her, until she grows jealous and won't believe it when you say we're just friends. But when she dumps you, that's just what we'll be.
2013-04-04 11:51:25 AM
6 votes:

Theaetetus: Grables'Daughter: I think the article was dead on. It's much easier to just hook up with someone - there are no strings, no complications, just sex.

... No Amazon wish lists...


www.iloveblackmovies.com
2013-04-04 11:22:03 AM
5 votes:
I had tons of sex in college by being a jerk all the time. I had all the sex anyone had on campus, because I would just run around punching nice guys and peeing on women.
2013-04-04 11:34:24 AM
4 votes:

Sensual Tyrannosaurus: Grables'Daughter: I think the article was dead on. It's much easier to just hook up with someone - there are no strings, no complications, just sex.

It seems like such an empty pursuit though.


Surprising comment from a Tyrannosaurus...
i.imgur.com
2013-04-04 11:25:56 AM
4 votes:

Grables'Daughter: I think the article was dead on. It's much easier to just hook up with someone - there are no strings, no complications, just sex.


... No Amazon wish lists...
2013-04-04 11:20:48 AM
4 votes:

sodomizer: The Atlantic: apologist for whatever self-destructive behavior is fascinating to the Left at this moment.


ATTENTION ALL FARKERS:  THIS THREAD IS NOW A POLITICAL FREE-FOR-ALL.  REPEAT: THIS THREAD IS NOW A POLITICAL FREE-FOR-ALL.  PLEASE COMPORT YOURSELVES ACCORDINGLY.  THANK YOU.
2013-04-04 01:04:00 PM
3 votes:
1960s: Age of Free Love - I'm a child
1970s: Sex, Drugs and Rock n Roll - I'm  pimply pre-teen more interested in Star Trek.
1980-2000s: BAM! Aids. Casual sex nose dives. - NOW I'm old enough and ain't getting much.
2013: Hookup Culture - Married 25 years. Ain't getting much.

FML
2013-04-04 11:36:55 AM
3 votes:
Is anybody really 'too ugly' to fark? Couldn't you just turn out the lights? Go in doggystyle with no eye contact. Couldn't a foot fetish just stick his junk between a fugly girl's soles? I know there "fat" per se, but I'm not talking talking about poking your wiener in the folds of her skin.  Perhaps fry some bacon to get you 'in the mood' if she's got fried egg tits. You don't have enough game to talk her into a farking latex hood or a Nixon mask for chrisakes? And what about the butt? I mean, even if it's all pimply you could play connect the dots, or pretend your a blind guy reading braille while you drive up the Hershey Highway ... you know, getting off on the Poop-Chute Route. Too ugly, I say? Why do you think God invented drugs and booze? Why I'll bet an epileptic girl or a shaky Parkinson's patient would be more fun than a sack full of kittens.
Even an amputee can make a crease.
2013-04-04 11:23:14 AM
3 votes:

Andromeda: This is going to be the thread where everyone brags about their sexual prowess in college and no one else believes them, right?


Well, not to brag, but there was this one towel in my dorm room, and...
2013-04-04 10:09:25 AM
3 votes:

Andromeda: This is going to be the thread where everyone brags about their sexual prowess in college and no one else believes them, right?


No, I expect this thread to look a lot more like this:
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
PJ-
2013-04-04 02:19:29 PM
2 votes:

elchupacabra: I had a bad phase of attracting the uber-freaks -- IQ <70


There is nothing wrong with this.  They don't get caught up on things like 'no, no not on the face!'
PJ-
2013-04-04 01:21:28 PM
2 votes:

verbaltoxin: freeforever: Uh, no.  "Nice guys" are not the same as jerks.  "Nice guys" are nice guys who are nice to women and in return don't get sex from them.  They are the designated drivers, willing to pick women up from the airport at the drop of a hat or drive them home from the bar after having a few too many.  They are the guys who constantly feed women compliments they so crave, and the guys who will do manual labor and other chores for the girl when her boyfriend isn't around.  Feminists get angry when "nice guys" complain they aren't getting sex because a "nice guy's" place in society is to be the emotional tampon for women who need their friendship ie., attention.  How dare a "nice guy" ever expect anything more!

Jerks are men, usually decent men who know how to play the field and but called jerks (usually by disgruntled "nice guys") because they get laid without jumping through all the fruitless hoops mentioned above.

There's a difference between "nice guys" and jerks, and it's because women/feminists equate the two that no self-respecting man should ever settle for the "nice guy" role. You and your white-knighted efforts will never be rewarded.

Clue: you're not a nice guy. You're a titanic asshole.


Doesn't matter, had sex.
2013-04-04 12:57:06 PM
2 votes:
i282.photobucket.com
2MS [TotalFark]
2013-04-04 12:21:30 PM
2 votes:

Grables'Daughter: LeroyBourne: The author should have just thrown it out and said no strings attached sex is easy, but relationships are hard, so lets just discretely bang.

But that's exactly what I got out of the article.


Hey, nice to see you around. You make things more interesting.
2013-04-04 12:00:06 PM
2 votes:

Rapmaster2000: Theaetetus: ms_lara_croft: Is this going to be the thread where nice guys come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?

[lolfeminist.files.wordpress.com image 300x300]

That's marvelous.


lesquestionscomposent.fr
2013-04-04 11:54:22 AM
2 votes:
I blame John Hughes. His movies ruined a generation of young men by giving them unrealistically high expectations about teenage romance.
2013-04-04 11:32:54 AM
2 votes:
Sensual Tyrannosaurus: Grables'Daughter: I think the article was dead on. It's much easier to just hook up with someone - there are no strings, no complications, just sex.

It seems like such an empty pursuit though.


Doesn't matter, had sex.
2013-04-04 11:30:13 AM
2 votes:

Krieghund: Andromeda: This is going to be the thread where everyone brags about their sexual prowess in college and no one else believes them, right?

On the one hand, I would have liked to have sex with more people in college.
On the other hand, I never got the crotch-rot.

Serial monogamy FTW, I guess.


Well at least you got to use both hands. That's almost like having sex with two different people.
2013-04-04 11:26:49 AM
2 votes:

ms_lara_croft: Is this going to be the thread where nice guys come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?


This is the tread where all the guys are going to click on ms_lara_croft's profile because she's a female, and then we shall follow the link to her blog hoping to find naughty pictures, only to be disappointed that instead there are naughty stories, and reading just takes up too much time when all you want is to knock one out quickly before work.
2013-04-04 11:23:28 AM
2 votes:

sodomizer: The Atlantic: apologist for whatever self-destructive behavior is fascinating to the Left at this moment.


Says a Farker named "sodomizer".
2013-04-04 11:03:34 AM
2 votes:
Is this going to be the thread where nice guys come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?
2013-04-04 07:09:35 PM
1 votes:

OgreMagi: Magnanimous_J: megarian: OgreMagi: What is this "hookup culture" people are speaking of?

/I haven't had a date since January.
//sob

Dude, I haven't had sex in two years. YEARS.

I just looked at your profile. If you've had a 2 year dry spell, that's on you sweetheart. You could probably secure a wedding proposal faster than an average chick could secure a credit card.

I'm guessing that either that's not her real picture (she's really a 350lbs black guy) or she's completely bat shiat crazy.  I mean stabby on the first date crazy.

Meg, which is it?

/or she's too busy being a college student, which means she's doing college completely wrong


Oh, wait.  It's the sharp knees.  She's hosed; some send her a starter cat basket so she can get started early.

/ducks
2013-04-04 04:55:34 PM
1 votes:

2MS: Andrew Wiggin: 2MS: Grables'Daughter: LeroyBourne: The author should have just thrown it out and said no strings attached sex is easy, but relationships are hard, so lets just discretely bang.

But that's exactly what I got out of the article.

Hey, nice to see you around. You make things more interesting.

imho, kinda the opposite.

Well, I kinda missed you too. I've been hanging out on TFD, and it got old quick. How is TMB?


I think she is still lurking to see if the waters have settled and it is safe for her to rAWturn, i mean return.
2013-04-04 04:01:17 PM
1 votes:

screwzloos: elchupacabra: Date alcoholics?

The bars here are disgusting.


Find some miserable girl with a negative outlook like yours. I'd guess slightly overweight, with piercings and/or tattoos.
2013-04-04 03:24:12 PM
1 votes:

elchupacabra: How does one fail at being lesbian? Besides accidentally a penis or two....


Lack of flannel and Subaru
2013-04-04 03:22:55 PM
1 votes:

elchupacabra: Qellaqan: elchupacabra: Qellaqan: I have another awesome guy friend who like lives in the friend zone happily. He makes it readily known that he thinks all his lady friends are smoking hot, and yes, he *would* be interested in any of them should they look his way. He is an absolute doormat, but with humor. But it's so honest and refreshing! He doesn't ever resent the rejection, it's more a, "well, I'll be here if you want anything... bow chicka wow wow..." attitude. He's my best guy friend. It sounds somewhat desperate, but it really comes off as endearing and honest. He does occasionally have success as well. Some girls think he's creepy, I guess it is a little unusual. He went to an almost all male engineering school, so maybe that has something to do with it...

Awesome when it works!

Yea, I have to proffer stories of my friends successes. I mostly scowled at boys til I liked one well enough. Then I awkwardly threw myself towards that path with some vodka. This is the stuff of marriages. All my examples are dude friends cuz my lady friends range from ridiculously unsuccessful lesbian to ridiculously unsuccessful widowed single mother. Those are both kind of bummers, though maybe one more than the other?

How does one fail at being lesbian?  Besides accidentally a penis or two....


Probably by wearing shoes that aren't sensible, e.g. 6" stilettos.
2013-04-04 03:22:43 PM
1 votes:

AngryJailhouseFistfark: Duke Phillips' Singing Bears: hitlersbrain: Remember (it's one of the hardest things for guys to get thru their heads and causes the most anguish) girls like sex about 1/1000th as much as you and it's not very important to them.

This guy is lying to you to try to get you off the playing field.

Most women would rather have a good stiff one in them than be doing anything else. They just want that good stiff one to be attached to someone they like, and they want it to stay stiff until they're finished.

I would add to this that women in that 18-24 demographic are highly invested in the opinions of their peers and in Homeland we are obsessed with sluts and shame and like and such as. So while many young women are craving caulk, even casual, recreational caulk, far fewer are willing to let their peers know about it lest they be labeled "whoooores."


encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
What a woman craving caulk might look like.
2013-04-04 03:16:05 PM
1 votes:

Killer Cars: ms_lara_croft: Then there is the fact that "nice guys" and jerks are the same thing.

Yeah, I'd be wary of any dude who would gladly self-identify as a "nice guy". There's plenty of honest-to-goodness nice guys out in the world, but they come in all different shapes, sizes and styles. Then you have the "nice" guys, where "nice" is really code for "attempts to use emotional manipulation to get what they want" and their idea of "nice" is not based in altruism or generosity whatsoever.


Bad boys are sharks, nice guys are anglerfish.  Just different predatory strategies.
2013-04-04 02:39:50 PM
1 votes:

Gaseous Anomaly: enderthexenocide: now that i'm 33 the odds of getting laid are virtually nonexistent, since women aren't interested in a virgin my age, no matter how dashing and handsome i am

You can hire a pro to show you the ropes, so to speak.

If you're concerned about legal repercussions, hire an escort for an hour and actually just take her to dinner, talk, etc. without any discussion at all of paying for sex. (This also lets her know YOU aren't a cop). Hire her again some time later and THEN get to the lessons.

Expensive, but no cop will go to the trouble of pretending to be an escort for a whole hour for the sake of a single bust.


i46.tinypic.com

Depends on the bust.
2013-04-04 02:25:36 PM
1 votes:

Grables'Daughter: I think the article was dead on. It's much easier to just hook up with someone - there are no strings, no complications, just sex.


Yaa! You are back!
2013-04-04 01:59:51 PM
1 votes:
So pity-farks don't count now?
2013-04-04 01:49:00 PM
1 votes:

hitlersbrain: MOST guys get very, very little sex because girls don't really like sex and don't really want it


How did you  get a handle like hitlersbrain all the way back there in 1890?
2013-04-04 01:39:47 PM
1 votes:

OgreMagi: What is this "hookup culture" people are speaking of?

/I haven't had a date since January.
//sob


January? Life must be so hard for you.
2013-04-04 12:51:19 PM
1 votes:
img203.imageshack.us
2013-04-04 12:34:55 PM
1 votes:
25.media.tumblr.com
2013-04-04 12:32:42 PM
1 votes:
Freeforever's post reminded me of the perks of being a wallflower. Decent movie, but that dude should have pounded Emma with his wand before she went back to hogwartz
2013-04-04 12:30:03 PM
1 votes:

ms_lara_croft: reillan: ms_lara_croft: Grables'Daughter: WelldeadLink: ms_lara_croft: Is this going to be the thread where nice guys come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?

Nope. Because we nice guys get the girls after they realize the other guy is a jerk.

Some of us will never realize this, sadly.

Then there is the fact that "nice guys" and jerks are the same thing.

some of us nice guys aren't jerks.  Of course, we're also not likely to bemoan the fact that girls only date jerks, because we'd be jerks for saying that... but still.

Oh, I know. I've met plenty of nice guys who are actually nice guys and they get on with women just fine. It's the "nice guys" who complain that women won't go out with them (i. e., have sex with them) because women supposedly date only jerks. Those "nice guys" have entitlement issues, amongst other things.


Indeed.

I used to refer to myself as a nice guy, but I gave that up once the common meaning of that meant 'passive-aggressive entitled misogynist". Although I feel I still get some shiat indirectly because of these "nice guys". People sometimes assume that I'm not actually nice and am just feigning it to hide my motives. I guess people just have a hard time believing nice people exist.

In a similar vein, I used to consider myself someone who believed in men's rights (not male supremacy or anything, just fair and equal treatment for anyone, I'd consider myself a feminist too)... then I realized that that term groups you in with some bad, bad people.
2013-04-04 12:15:20 PM
1 votes:

Theaetetus: freeforever: "Nice guys" are not the same as jerks.  "Nice guys" are nice guys who are nice to women and in return don't get sex from them... "nice guys" complain they aren't getting sex...  How dare a "nice guy" ever expect anything more!

So, you're saying a "nice guy" is someone who expects sex in exchange for being nice and complains when they don't get what they're owed?  You're right... Jerks are much better.


Here we go. Don't you have a patent trolling thread to shiat on or something?
2013-04-04 12:07:09 PM
1 votes:

megarian: genepool lifeboat: megarian: sex AND beer

That's like PB&J!

Wait for it:

Sex, beer, and PB&J.


Messiest sammiches ever.
2013-04-04 12:07:08 PM
1 votes:

ms_lara_croft: Is this going to be the thread where nice guys come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?


Nope. This is the thread where fat, homely women let it be known that they are women in an attempt to attention whore to nerds since men won't pay any attention to them in the real world.
2013-04-04 11:53:13 AM
1 votes:
Of course, it's funny now; I've been married 13 years, thank you, and the field no longer matters. But that doesn't quite change the fact that I was in that field for a long time, and it was bleak and grim and blasted with pits of despair-a kind of Mordor of interpersonal inadequacy.

He sounds ugly.
2013-04-04 11:50:26 AM
1 votes:
Of course, it's funny now; I've been married 13 years, thank you, and the field no longer matters.

Thank you for letting me know right at the start that this article is a load of BS you pulled out for the deadline.
2013-04-04 11:46:08 AM
1 votes:
David Heatley went to Oberlin around when I did, and screwed everything that moved, according to his comics memoir My Sexual History. That Oberlin wasn't my Oberlin, though.  While at school, I dated no one; I didn't even kiss anyone, all through college and beyond...until I met my wife, in fact, in my late 20s.

If it makes you feel better, I'm pretty sure most of the girls at Oberlin are lesbians until they graduate and start dating the son of their father's dentistry partner.
2013-04-04 11:44:54 AM
1 votes:
As if to illustrate my point, I have the sudden urge to delete my posts and immediately regret even posting them.
2013-04-04 11:41:50 AM
1 votes:

Dahnkster: Is anybody really 'too ugly' to fark? Couldn't you just turn out the lights? Go in doggystyle with no eye contact. Couldn't a foot fetish just stick his junk between a fugly girl's soles? I know there "fat" per se, but I'm not talking talking about poking your wiener in the folds of her skin.  Perhaps fry some bacon to get you 'in the mood' if she's got fried egg tits. You don't have enough game to talk her into a farking latex hood or a Nixon mask for chrisakes? And what about the butt? I mean, even if it's all pimply you could play connect the dots, or pretend your a blind guy reading braille while you drive up the Hershey Highway ... you know, getting off on the Poop-Chute Route. Too ugly, I say? Why do you think God invented drugs and booze? Why I'll bet an epileptic girl or a shaky Parkinson's patient would be more fun than a sack full of kittens.
Even an amputee can make a crease.


That was beautiful.
2013-04-04 11:31:57 AM
1 votes:
The reason people aren't having as much promiscuous sex as they'd like is the age-old "prison sex" joke:   The sex you want, you can't get.  The sex you can get, you don't want.
2013-04-04 11:31:11 AM
1 votes:
Didn't you get the memo? Sexual revolutions are for attractive people.
2013-04-04 11:26:46 AM
1 votes:

unlikely: A couple roommates and I worked out a theory when we were all undergrads.

If you rate looks on a scale from 1 to 100, everyone I know tries to aim for the 90-100% just by appearance. Generally, the 90-100 chase each other and that all works fine for them, but for the people running around in the 50-60 range, they aim for 95 and get rejected. If you're in the 50-60 range and aim 50-60, you will have a lot more success. Still not complete success; your fellow 50-60s still want their 95s and think they're settling when they get 85s, but you'll have a lot better luck than if  you aim at that top 10%.

The trick, then, was figuring out your percentage honestly, so you'd know where to aim.

It seemed to work for the roomies pretty well. But then they were all 70+. It may have worked for me too, but I already had the girlfriend that I've been with for 15 years now so I have no idea.

/she totally breaks the theory... she's top 10% and I'm somewhere around a 30...
//The theory is only for quick hook-ups; for long term relationships those rules are out the window.
///Looks still allow you to get to the point where personality matters.


way back when The Cult of the Dead Cow released a girl hacking howto, I followed it and did pretty well. One of the more odd things that happened to me was I got really involved in a band's fan forum to the point the band made me a moderator. It was amazing how many girls hooked up with me just because of my reputation on that forum.
2013-04-04 11:17:34 AM
1 votes:
The Atlantic: apologist for whatever self-destructive behavior is fascinating to the Left at this moment.
 
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