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(The Atlantic)   America's "hookup culture" isn't a problem, and the reason people aren't having as much promiscuous sex they'd like is because rejection is a big part of romance, especially when you're ugly   (theatlantic.com) divider line 70
    More: PSA, promiscuities, history of human sexuality, suicide rates, Oberlin, Puritanism, Mordor, cultures  
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8239 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Apr 2013 at 11:15 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-04 12:45:55 PM  
4 votes:

theurge14: Rapmaster2000: Killer Cars: ms_lara_croft: Then there is the fact that "nice guys" and jerks are the same thing.

Yeah, I'd be wary of any dude who would gladly self-identify as a "nice guy". There's plenty of honest-to-goodness nice guys out in the world, but they come in all different shapes, sizes and styles. Then you have the "nice" guys, where "nice" is really code for "attempts to use emotional manipulation to get what they want" and their idea of "nice" is not based in altruism or generosity whatsoever.

Here's a tip to all the "nice guys".  The jerk is honest.  You're not.

Wow, generalize much?

Here's a tip to all the princesses out there who fill their FB timeline with those "All a girl really wants" images: you're still looking for the same type of guy you just got rid of because this time you really do know how to fix him.  And that same type of guy is still the "hot" alpha-jerk who sometimes remembers to move his feet off the coffee table when you're vacuuming because gosh he really can be sweet when no one else is looking but nobody understands him like you do.


Dude, just stop.  Here's how to be the nice guy that you imagine yourself to be and be an alpha-male that you'd like to be without being a jerk.

Do.what.you.want.  Always do what you want.  Do you like hearing that girl whine about her jerk boyfriend?  No, you don't.  So stop it.  Do you like waiting for her to figure out that you're the perfect guy and that she needed to be with you all along?  No, you hate waiting.  Stop waiting.  Go do something else that you would rather do instead.

That's not being a jerk.  That's living your life.  People respect that.
2013-04-04 12:28:29 PM  
4 votes:
The best article ever written on the subject of Nice Guys:

But If We Started Dating It Would Ruin Our Friendship Where I Ask You To Do Things And You Do Them

I really like you. I do. You're so nice, and sweet, and you listen to all my problems and respond with the appropriate compliments. But, well, I don't really see a relationship in our future. It would be terrible if we let sex destroy this great friendship we have where I get everything I want and you get nothing you want. Don't you think?

I knew you would understand. You always do.

We're so perfect as friends, you know? I can tell you anything, and you know you can always come to me anytime you need to hear me biatch about work or how ugly I feel. You wouldn't want to ruin a friendship like that just so you could be my boyfriend, and have me look at you with desire and longing in my eyes, if only once-would you? Of course not. Well, if we started dating, it would only complicate this wonderful setup I've got going here.

It's just...you're like my best friend, and I would hate for something you desperately want to change that. I mean, sure, we could go on some dates, maybe mess around a little and finally validate the six years you've spent languishing in this platonic nightmare, but then what? How could we ever go back to the way we were, where I take advantage of your clear attraction to me so I can have someone at my beck and call? That part of our friendship means so much to me.

No. We are just destined to be really, really good friends who only hang out when I don't have a boyfriend, but still need male attention to boost my fragile and all-consuming ego.

Anything can happen once you bring romance in. Think about how awful my last relationship was at the end, remember? The guy I'd call you crying about at 3 a.m. because he wouldn't answer my texts? The guy I met at the birthday party you threw me? I had insanely passionate sex with him for four months and now we don't even talk anymore. God, I would die if something like that happened to us.

Plus, ick, can you even imagine getting naked in front of each other? I've known you so long, you're more like a brother that I've drunkenly made out with twice and never mentioned again. It'd be way too weird. And if we did, then whenever you'd come shopping with me, or go to one of my performances or charity events, or take me for ice cream when I've had a bad day at work, you'd be looking at me like, "I've seen her breasts." God, I can't think of anything more awkward that that.
Oh, before I forget, my mom says hi.

Anyway, you would totally hate me as your girlfriend. I'd be all needy and dramatic and slowly growing to love you. If I was your girlfriend, I would never be able to tell you all about the other asshole guys I date and pretend I don't see how much it crushes you. Let's never lose that. That's what makes us us.

Don't worry. You're so funny and smart and amazing, any girl but me would be lucky to date you. You'll find someone, I know it. And when you do, I'll be right by your side to suddenly become all flirty and affectionate with you in front of her, until she grows jealous and won't believe it when you say we're just friends. But when she dumps you, that's just what we'll be.
2013-04-04 11:49:44 AM  
4 votes:

ms_lara_croft: Then there is the fact that "nice guys" and jerks are the same thing.


Yeah, I'd be wary of any dude who would gladly self-identify as a "nice guy". There's plenty of honest-to-goodness nice guys out in the world, but they come in all different shapes, sizes and styles. Then you have the "nice" guys, where "nice" is really code for "attempts to use emotional manipulation to get what they want" and their idea of "nice" is not based in altruism or generosity whatsoever.
2013-04-04 11:31:57 AM  
4 votes:
The reason people aren't having as much promiscuous sex as they'd like is the age-old "prison sex" joke:   The sex you want, you can't get.  The sex you can get, you don't want.
2013-04-04 11:20:48 AM  
4 votes:

sodomizer: The Atlantic: apologist for whatever self-destructive behavior is fascinating to the Left at this moment.


ATTENTION ALL FARKERS:  THIS THREAD IS NOW A POLITICAL FREE-FOR-ALL.  REPEAT: THIS THREAD IS NOW A POLITICAL FREE-FOR-ALL.  PLEASE COMPORT YOURSELVES ACCORDINGLY.  THANK YOU.
2013-04-04 12:55:54 PM  
3 votes:
Where did I say I was in need of that advice?

I was taking exception to your blanket statement that nice guys aren't honest.

Don't you think it's possible that women aren't being honest when they list all the reasons nice guys creep them out when it's simply a matter of attraction?  "All you care about is if she's hot" is the common refrain guys hear, wouldn't you say it's dishonest for women to say that looks don't matter to them too?

A simple experiment can be made.  Get three people, one ugly guy, one attractive guy, and one girl on her birthday. Have both guys give the girl the same birthday present.  Observe her reaction.

As they say, it is what it is.
2013-04-04 12:07:19 PM  
3 votes:

ms_lara_croft: Grables'Daughter: WelldeadLink: ms_lara_croft: Is this going to be the thread where nice guys come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?

Nope. Because we nice guys get the girls after they realize the other guy is a jerk.

Some of us will never realize this, sadly.

Then there is the fact that "nice guys" and jerks are the same thing.


Uh, no.  "Nice guys" are not the same as jerks.  "Nice guys" are nice guys who are nice to women and in return don't get sex from them.  They are the designated drivers, willing to pick women up from the airport at the drop of a hat or drive them home from the bar after having a few too many.  They are the guys who constantly feed women compliments they so crave, and the guys who will do manual labor and other chores for the girl when her boyfriend isn't around.  Feminists get angry when "nice guys" complain they aren't getting sex because a "nice guy's" place in society is to be the emotional tampon for women who need their friendship ie., attention.  How dare a "nice guy" ever expect anything more!

Jerks are men, usually decent men who know how to play the field and but called jerks (usually by disgruntled "nice guys") because they get laid without jumping through all the fruitless hoops mentioned above.

There's a difference between "nice guys" and jerks, and it's because women/feminists equate the two that no self-respecting man should ever settle for the "nice guy" role. You and your white-knighted efforts will never be rewarded.
2013-04-04 11:32:54 AM  
3 votes:
Sensual Tyrannosaurus: Grables'Daughter: I think the article was dead on. It's much easier to just hook up with someone - there are no strings, no complications, just sex.

It seems like such an empty pursuit though.


Doesn't matter, had sex.
2013-04-04 11:31:11 AM  
3 votes:
Didn't you get the memo? Sexual revolutions are for attractive people.
2013-04-04 11:23:28 AM  
3 votes:

sodomizer: The Atlantic: apologist for whatever self-destructive behavior is fascinating to the Left at this moment.


Says a Farker named "sodomizer".
2013-04-04 02:10:25 PM  
2 votes:
So by the comments it would seem that "nice guys", in reality aren't very nice.  And the the guys that aren't the needy "nice guys" are still the same guys that have always been jerks.

So this must mean that all guys are jerks whether women like them or not.  Unless they are gay.
2013-04-04 01:11:27 PM  
2 votes:

2MS: Grables'Daughter: LeroyBourne: The author should have just thrown it out and said no strings attached sex is easy, but relationships are hard, so lets just discretely bang.

But that's exactly what I got out of the article.

Hey, nice to see you around. You make things more interesting.


imho, kinda the opposite.
2013-04-04 01:09:23 PM  
2 votes:

theurge14: A simple experiment can be made. Get three people, one ugly guy, one attractive guy, and one girl on her birthday. Have both guys give the girl the same birthday present. Observe her reaction.



Would you expect a different reaction by switching the genders?

Ugly girl and attractive girl?
2013-04-04 01:04:00 PM  
2 votes:
1960s: Age of Free Love - I'm a child
1970s: Sex, Drugs and Rock n Roll - I'm  pimply pre-teen more interested in Star Trek.
1980-2000s: BAM! Aids. Casual sex nose dives. - NOW I'm old enough and ain't getting much.
2013: Hookup Culture - Married 25 years. Ain't getting much.

FML
2013-04-04 12:51:19 PM  
2 votes:
img203.imageshack.us
2013-04-04 12:50:38 PM  
2 votes:

enderthexenocide: i'm still a virgin at age 33, and yeah that really sucks and it sure as hell isn't by choice.  i look back at my college years and just cringe when i realize what an idiot i was.  you know what really killed my chances of ever getting laid in college?  i don't drink alcohol and i only hung out with my little group of friends.  of course i never got laid!  there were plenty of women there that would have been interested in me if i had just been more social.  go to a party, have a few drinks, find a girl who is by herself and start talking to her.  sex and relationships are not that complicated, but my god was i clueless in college.  and since i've still never had sex, you could argue i'm still pretty clueless right now.  but my opportunities for sex dwindled away as soon as i graduated, because i was no longer surrounded by lots of women my age that i already had things in common with.  and now that i'm 33 the odds of getting laid are virtually nonexistent, since women aren't interested in a virgin my age, no matter how dashing and handsome i am.  what really hurts me though isn't the fact i've never had sex, it's that i want to have children very badly, and every day that dream gets farther and farther from ever becoming a reality.


If you're 33 and assuming you have a job, your own place, etc., I'd say you're actually in a pretty good spot, especially if you pursue women your own age, whose biological clocks are ticking ever more loudly.  The idea that everyone must lose their virginity by 19 or whatever is a relatively recent cultural thing.
2013-04-04 12:37:03 PM  
2 votes:

freeforever: The best article ever written on the subject of Nice Guys:

imgs.xkcd.com
/ftfy
2013-04-04 12:36:18 PM  
2 votes:

Rapmaster2000: Killer Cars: ms_lara_croft: Then there is the fact that "nice guys" and jerks are the same thing.

Yeah, I'd be wary of any dude who would gladly self-identify as a "nice guy". There's plenty of honest-to-goodness nice guys out in the world, but they come in all different shapes, sizes and styles. Then you have the "nice" guys, where "nice" is really code for "attempts to use emotional manipulation to get what they want" and their idea of "nice" is not based in altruism or generosity whatsoever.

Here's a tip to all the "nice guys".  The jerk is honest.  You're not.


Wow, generalize much?

Here's a tip to all the princesses out there who fill their FB timeline with those "All a girl really wants" images: you're still looking for the same type of guy you just got rid of because this time you really do know how to fix him.  And that same type of guy is still the "hot" alpha-jerk who sometimes remembers to move his feet off the coffee table when you're vacuuming because gosh he really can be sweet when no one else is looking but nobody understands him like you do.
2MS [TotalFark]
2013-04-04 12:21:30 PM  
2 votes:

Grables'Daughter: LeroyBourne: The author should have just thrown it out and said no strings attached sex is easy, but relationships are hard, so lets just discretely bang.

But that's exactly what I got out of the article.


Hey, nice to see you around. You make things more interesting.
2013-04-04 12:16:22 PM  
2 votes:

reillan: ms_lara_croft: Grables'Daughter: WelldeadLink: ms_lara_croft: Is this going to be the thread where nice guys come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?

Nope. Because we nice guys get the girls after they realize the other guy is a jerk.

Some of us will never realize this, sadly.

Then there is the fact that "nice guys" and jerks are the same thing.

some of us nice guys aren't jerks.  Of course, we're also not likely to bemoan the fact that girls only date jerks, because we'd be jerks for saying that... but still.


Oh, I know. I've met plenty of nice guys who are actually nice guys and they get on with women just fine. It's the "nice guys" who complain that women won't go out with them (i. e., have sex with them) because women supposedly date only jerks. Those "nice guys" have entitlement issues, amongst other things.
2013-04-04 12:06:02 PM  
2 votes:

Rapmaster2000: Here's a tip to all the "nice guys". The jerk is honest. You're not.


I practice "Radical Honesty". It got me a ton of dates in college and I think it adds to my happy marriage. It's not that I have some high moral code, it's just I dont have the memory for keeping track of all the lies.
2013-04-04 11:54:22 AM  
2 votes:
I blame John Hughes. His movies ruined a generation of young men by giving them unrealistically high expectations about teenage romance.
2013-04-04 11:35:13 AM  
2 votes:

ms_lara_croft: Is this going to be the thread where nice guys come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?


Nope. Because we nice guys get the girls after they realize the other guy is a jerk.
2013-04-04 11:22:03 AM  
2 votes:
I had tons of sex in college by being a jerk all the time. I had all the sex anyone had on campus, because I would just run around punching nice guys and peeing on women.
2013-04-04 10:08:01 AM  
2 votes:
A couple roommates and I worked out a theory when we were all undergrads.

If you rate looks on a scale from 1 to 100, everyone I know tries to aim for the 90-100% just by appearance. Generally, the 90-100 chase each other and that all works fine for them, but for the people running around in the 50-60 range, they aim for 95 and get rejected. If you're in the 50-60 range and aim 50-60, you will have a lot more success. Still not complete success; your fellow 50-60s still want their 95s and think they're settling when they get 85s, but you'll have a lot better luck than if  you aim at that top 10%.

The trick, then, was figuring out your percentage honestly, so you'd know where to aim.

It seemed to work for the roomies pretty well. But then they were all 70+. It may have worked for me too, but I already had the girlfriend that I've been with for 15 years now so I have no idea.

/she totally breaks the theory... she's top 10% and I'm somewhere around a 30...
//The theory is only for quick hook-ups; for long term relationships those rules are out the window.
///Looks still allow you to get to the point where personality matters.
2013-04-04 09:07:42 PM  
1 votes:

OgreMagi: screwzloos: OgreMagi: megarian: screwzloos: elchupacabra: megarian: OgreMagi: What is this "hookup culture" people are speaking of?

/I haven't had a date since January.
//sob

Dude, I haven't had sex in two years. YEARS.

/Checks Profile
//shrugs

Must be a Detroit thing?  I'd suggest moving.  Except maybe not near screwzloos, unless you love vodak.

I'd share my vodka with her.

If by vodka you mean whiskey, I'm in.

FYI, I run a single malt house.  Glenlivet is the norm.

/watches as all of the other farkers toss out their offers, too

I was considering offering her a round trip ticket to come to Alaska sometime this summer, but that would probably send the wrong vibe. So yeah, single malt... or whatever.

/who am I kidding, I usually drink Crown Royal.

I'm twice her age, so any serious offer I make would be met with either "ewwwwww" or "POLICE!"


I only call the police when I would be implicated if I didn't.
2013-04-04 03:24:12 PM  
1 votes:

elchupacabra: How does one fail at being lesbian? Besides accidentally a penis or two....


Lack of flannel and Subaru
2013-04-04 03:06:50 PM  
1 votes:

Qellaqan: I have another awesome guy friend who like lives in the friend zone happily.


I was sorta "that guy" during college. I was getting enough (not a lot mind you, but what I considered enough to keep my sanity) sexual attention during school, but I had ridiculously handsome roommates who in turn befriended and hooked up with ridiculously attractive females whom I sort of naturally befriended as well. Naturally, it was those girls I was more fascinated by. It does have its perks though; in a completely selfish, carnal way, hanging out with attractive people in public settings sort of raises your own profile.

In guy speak, hanging out with 9s and 10s can easily help you land an 8 when normally you'd be happy with a 6 or 7.

/Jesus, there's no way to convey that last sentence without sounding like a tool
//but, this was college; I think the lot of us WERE tools at that age.
2013-04-04 03:02:25 PM  
1 votes:

Killer Cars: I hope everyone else, isn't trying to argue the average nice guy is totally full of sh*t and closet misogynist


You are hoping in vain. There is no reason to be an average nice guy because you will always be treated as if you are a "nice guy". See this thread or any like it for examples. Every time a guy says "I never get laid", it will be interpereted as "I am entitled to be laid", whether that is what he meant or not.

/not a nice guy
//or "nice guy" for that matter
2013-04-04 02:47:35 PM  
1 votes:

verbaltoxin: freeforever: Uh, no.  "Nice guys" are not the same as jerks.  "Nice guys" are nice guys who are nice to women and in return don't get sex from them.  They are the designated drivers, willing to pick women up from the airport at the drop of a hat or drive them home from the bar after having a few too many.  They are the guys who constantly feed women compliments they so crave, and the guys who will do manual labor and other chores for the girl when her boyfriend isn't around.  Feminists get angry when "nice guys" complain they aren't getting sex because a "nice guy's" place in society is to be the emotional tampon for women who need their friendship ie., attention.  How dare a "nice guy" ever expect anything more!

Jerks are men, usually decent men who know how to play the field and but called jerks (usually by disgruntled "nice guys") because they get laid without jumping through all the fruitless hoops mentioned above.

There's a difference between "nice guys" and jerks, and it's because women/feminists equate the two that no self-respecting man should ever settle for the "nice guy" role. You and your white-knighted efforts will never be rewarded.

Clue: you're not a nice guy. You're a titanic asshole.


Of course he isn't a nice guy. Like he said, nice guys are suckers and door mats.
kab
2013-04-04 02:35:53 PM  
1 votes:

elchupacabra: I never get the stereotype that "Nice Guys" are dishonest


And that's because most of the generalization flying around on this (and every other thread like it on this site) is rather inaccurate when talking about nice guys vs. jerks.

Being a doormat for a chick doesn't mean you're a nice guy, it means you're a doormat, and that's a trait that likely impacts much more than just your relationship with the opposite sex. (nor is it limited to males).

Being a clingy, possessive type (also not gender limited) isn't a nice guy trait, it's more of a low self esteem / possession issue.   Very similar to how women who claim to "love a challenge" actually have possession issues.
PJ-
2013-04-04 02:32:14 PM  
1 votes:

Dahnkster: Nice guys finish ass.
No nudity, but possibly NSFW image.
You can be the first to my sloppy seconds.


I don't understand the whole thing about sloppy seconds.  I don't see what's such a turn on about 'OWOWOWOOWOWOWOWOWOW' *cry* 'it hurts so much!'
2013-04-04 02:26:26 PM  
1 votes:

Qellaqan: Why "nice guys" aren't nice guys:

 We were good friends, but because I said "no thanks" they threw tantrums and we weren't friends after that.


I'm of the strong opinion that once the dating "request" is made, friendship is no longer an option.  Either you're now dating, or eventually the guy is going to slip up and make another attempt that pisses you off, or something you do innocently will be misinterpreted as "Try again, Big Boy".

Just better to go, "Oh well, I tried" and be cordial but distant after that.
2013-04-04 02:25:36 PM  
1 votes:

Grables'Daughter: I think the article was dead on. It's much easier to just hook up with someone - there are no strings, no complications, just sex.


Yaa! You are back!
2013-04-04 02:05:12 PM  
1 votes:

ms_lara_croft: Is this going to be the thread where nice guys come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?


Well they *do*.

Snidery aside, the corollary to the "nice guy" who constantly biatches about not getting sex is the "liberated woman" who is always whining about how all men are "assholes" despite the fact that she keeps rewarding their bad behaviors with sex.   You can't want to be "pursued" and "chased" and be surprised when your pursuers are predatory and you are treated like prey.  Yet "liberated women" keep farking pushy man-children and "nice guys" keep expecting to fark on the first date.

And time and time again, it's been proven that being pretty leads to promotions, being demanding leads to raises, being pushy gets sales, and being respectful towards others gets your teeth kicked in.  It's science. So really, the world at large just rewards jerks.
2013-04-04 01:41:23 PM  
1 votes:

PJ-: I always laugh at the 'nice guys' who say that women are just biatches because they won't give them a chance.  Well here's an idea superfriend, stop being such a creeper.  Stop being always available for the girl that you want, why would she be willing to plow you when you give her everything she wants/needs and she doesn't have to life a finger.  Honestly, being a nice guy isn't even all that hard, you make it sound like you are lifting the weight of the world by being such a nice guy.  Yes, it's so hard to pretend like you are listening with a smile on your face, while in your head you are undressing her.  Yes, it's so hard to open a door for someone because their hands are full.  I couldn't even imagine how hard it is to go out for lunch once in a while to catch up on things.  Girls want nice guys, but they also don't want a female to date, if they did, they would be a lesbian.  Now, i'm not saying to puff out your chest and try to fight everybody who dares look at your lady friend, but having some confidence really goes a long way.

Life is hard, life is harder when you're dumb, life is next to impossible when you're fugly.


In my experience 'nice guys' are actually super manipulative if they ever get into a relationship. They basically will show up at your doorstep every day to ask you out, buy you presents you *don't* want, and dedicate every song they sing to you. Personally, I don't find this kind of behavior romantic, I find it scary. I never dated my creepy nice guy stalker because he literally knew NOTHING about me.

Who I did end up dating was the guy who *was* a friend, and a real friend not someone who obsessively had to be around me and help me with everything, a normal friend who you could joke with and who was friends with your other friends.

My friend ended up dating a guy who was kind of creepily stalking her- she labeled it as 'romantic'. This guy would literally *have* to have his arms wrapped around her when we were at a concert to 'protect' her. He would call her like 50 times if they weren't together. He would guilt trip her if she didn't go to his house every single day.

Yep, I hate nice guys.

/now in another category we have guys who are pushovers who really can be nice, but they aren't the crazy self-sacrificing stalkers I'm talking about... they are the guys who get stuck with girl 'nice guys' if that makes sense. By that I mean their girlfriend/wife is a psychotic controlling manipulative person.
2013-04-04 01:27:54 PM  
1 votes:

enderthexenocide: i'm still a virgin at age 33, and yeah that really sucks and it sure as hell isn't by choice.  i look back at my college years and just cringe when i realize what an idiot i was.  you know what really killed my chances of ever getting laid in college?  i don't drink alcohol and i only hung out with my little group of friends.  of course i never got laid!  there were plenty of women there that would have been interested in me if i had just been more social.  go to a party, have a few drinks, find a girl who is by herself and start talking to her.  sex and relationships are not that complicated, but my god was i clueless in college.  and since i've still never had sex, you could argue i'm still pretty clueless right now.  but my opportunities for sex dwindled away as soon as i graduated, because i was no longer surrounded by lots of women my age that i already had things in common with.  and now that i'm 33 the odds of getting laid are virtually nonexistent, since women aren't interested in a virgin my age, no matter how dashing and handsome i am.  what really hurts me though isn't the fact i've never had sex, it's that i want to have children very badly, and every day that dream gets farther and farther from ever becoming a reality.



Calm down. To steal a joke from Alec Baldwin, you're 33, that's like 16 in woman years. If you can keep your hair and not get too fat, you'll be physically desirable to the mainstream well into your 50's.


The "V" issue obviously bothers you. I get that. What you need to do is FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T TELL ANY WOMEN. Then, get your first one out of the way ASAP. Troll the 2AM bar scene, bus station or bowling alley. Whatever it takes to get the first one done. It won't be good. I just took up golf and I'll tell you, it was embarrassing when the high school girls team practicing nearby was giggling at me missing the ball over and over again with my weird, awkward jerky swing. Now I've got a couple range sessions under my belt and someone watching would assume I'm only medium terrible. But I'm smacking that ball every time now.


You're behind the curve, for sure. You'll need to put actual effort into catching up. Read books, be attentive, pay attention to what you are doing. 99% of your competition isn't putting this kind of effort into their game. But if you get up, stop feeling sorry for yourself and take a risk or two, in a couple years' time, you'll be just fine.
PJ-
2013-04-04 01:12:43 PM  
1 votes:

hitlersbrain: MOST guys get very, very little sex because girls don't really like sex and don't really want it.


wtf?  I think you are just bad at what you do.  From my experience, girls love sex, they just do a better job of hiding it from people they don't want to have sex with.
2013-04-04 01:10:28 PM  
1 votes:
Another one of these stupid things?

Dating 101:

SOME guys will get lots of sex because they have some physical or behavioral characteristic girls like enough to f*ck for. These traits are stupid things like being tall, being popular or being an arsehole (they call it confidence) so it's really not a big deal to NOT be one of these guys. For the girls the sex is really just about fitting in and having 'experiences', so it is stupid crap too.

MOST guys get very, very little sex because girls don't really like sex and don't really want it. You and I are (were) these guys. If you really want to change that then learn about 'hooking up' with girls. Basically ask 100 girls if they wanna have sex and 1 will probably say yes. More than likely it will be awkward and boring and nothing like your fantasies. My opinion is to cheat the system, save your energy for something important and Fap to internet porn until you find someone you like enough to date.

Remember (it's one of the hardest things for guys to get thru their heads and causes the most anguish) girls like sex about 1/1000th as much as you and it's not very important to them.
2013-04-04 01:05:41 PM  
1 votes:
Here's my 2 cents on the "nice guy" discussion:

Get to know her. If you like her, and want to date, then ask her out. If she says no, move on. It's not the end of the world and you can go find someone who is a better match for you. Just because she said no doesn't mean she's a biatch - she just isn't interested in dating you.

But do not assume being a friend will (or even should) turn into a romantic relationship. If you don't make your romantic intentions known, then you're being deceptive - so don't blame her for "failing to realize how perfect you are for her."

Believe it or not, most adults have friends they are nice too without expecting sex. People choose freinds because they enjoy each other's company and have fun hanging out.

If the only reason you're nice to someone is because you want to date them, you're not a friend - you're a cowardly suitor, and you're definitely not a "nice guy".

/don't be scared to ask - you'll be surprised how many say yes!
2013-04-04 01:05:39 PM  
1 votes:

theurge14: Where did I say I was in need of that advice?

I was taking exception to your blanket statement that nice guys aren't honest.


OK, but you aren't nice so I'm not sure what you're proving.

Don't you think it's possible that women aren't being honest when they list all the reasons nice guys creep them out when it's simply a matter of attraction?  "All you care about is if she's hot" is the common refrain guys hear, wouldn't you say it's dishonest for women to say that looks don't matter to them too?

A simple experiment can be made.  Get three people, one ugly guy, one attractive guy, and one girl on her birthday. Have both guys give the girl the same birthday present.  Observe her reaction.


Yeah, they don't really mean that, just like you don't really mean it when you say intelligence is more important than looks.  Way to crack the case wide-open, Sgt. Hooker.  Congrats on catching up to the men in this thread who don't have problems with women.
2013-04-04 12:57:48 PM  
1 votes:

freeforever: The best article ever written on the subject of Nice Guys:

But If We Started Dating It Would Ruin Our Friendship Where I Ask You To Do Things And You Do Them

I really like you. I do. You're so nice, and sweet, and you listen to all my problems and respond with the appropriate compliments. But, well, I don't really see a relationship in our future. It would be terrible if we let sex destroy this great friendship we have where I get everything I want and you get nothing you want. Don't you think?

I knew you would understand. You always do.

We're so perfect as friends, you know? I can tell you anything, and you know you can always come to me anytime you need to hear me biatch about work or how ugly I feel. You wouldn't want to ruin a friendship like that just so you could be my boyfriend, and have me look at you with desire and longing in my eyes, if only once-would you? Of course not. Well, if we started dating, it would only complicate this wonderful setup I've got going here.

It's just...you're like my best friend, and I would hate for something you desperately want to change that. I mean, sure, we could go on some dates, maybe mess around a little and finally validate the six years you've spent languishing in this platonic nightmare, but then what? How could we ever go back to the way we were, where I take advantage of your clear attraction to me so I can have someone at my beck and call? That part of our friendship means so much to me.

No. We are just destined to be really, really good friends who only hang out when I don't have a boyfriend, but still need male attention to boost my fragile and all-consuming ego.

Anything can happen once you bring romance in. Think about how awful my last relationship was at the end, remember? The guy I'd call you crying about at 3 a.m. because he wouldn't answer my texts? The guy I met at the birthday party you threw me? I had insanely passionate sex with him for four months and now we don't even talk anymore. God, I would ...


Yup, that pretty much sums it up. The key is seeing its heading that direction and bailing. Sounds cold but heres the deal...if you like someone, and they like you, and you dont hit it within the first few weeks...its not gonna happen, bail.

Relationships take work to maintain, not to start.
2013-04-04 12:57:06 PM  
1 votes:
i282.photobucket.com
PJ-
2013-04-04 12:53:25 PM  
1 votes:

enderthexenocide: i'm still a virgin at age 33, and yeah that really sucks and it sure as hell isn't by choice.  i look back at my college years and just cringe when i realize what an idiot i was.  you know what really killed my chances of ever getting laid in college?  i don't drink alcohol and i only hung out with my little group of friends.  of course i never got laid!  there were plenty of women there that would have been interested in me if i had just been more social.  go to a party, have a few drinks, find a girl who is by herself and start talking to her.  sex and relationships are not that complicated, but my god was i clueless in college.  and since i've still never had sex, you could argue i'm still pretty clueless right now.  but my opportunities for sex dwindled away as soon as i graduated, because i was no longer surrounded by lots of women my age that i already had things in common with.  and now that i'm 33 the odds of getting laid are virtually nonexistent, since women aren't interested in a virgin my age, no matter how dashing and handsome i am.  what really hurts me though isn't the fact i've never had sex, it's that i want to have children very badly, and every day that dream gets farther and farther from ever becoming a reality.


By the sounds of it, you are just as much of an idiot you are now as you were in college.  You think that being 33 decreses your odds of getting laid?  Girls our age are looking to get plowed just as much as they were in college, in fact, they are probably looking to get some more than they were in college.  Hell, thanks to Fifty Shades of Grey, there are plenty of 30ish year old women who have turned into sex fiends.

Who cares you haven't gotten your dinky stinky yet?  Just don't mention it, and you will be fine.  It's also not the fact that you are virgin that decreases your odds, it's the fact that you make it a conversation point with women.  Want to have kids, start hanging out at a bar, pick up a few test girls so you can learn a thing or two, then start looking for that special someone.  Stop putting women on a pedestal, they want to have sex just as much as you do.  Stop giving them a reason to look at you like a creeper.
2013-04-04 12:52:03 PM  
1 votes:

enderthexenocide: i'm still a virgin at age 33, and yeah that really sucks and it sure as hell isn't by choice.  i look back at my college years and just cringe when i realize what an idiot i was.  you know what really killed my chances of ever getting laid in college?  i don't drink alcohol and i only hung out with my little group of friends.  of course i never got laid!  there were plenty of women there that would have been interested in me if i had just been more social.  go to a party, have a few drinks, find a girl who is by herself and start talking to her.  sex and relationships are not that complicated, but my god was i clueless in college.  and since i've still never had sex, you could argue i'm still pretty clueless right now.  but my opportunities for sex dwindled away as soon as i graduated, because i was no longer surrounded by lots of women my age that i already had things in common with.  and now that i'm 33 the odds of getting laid are virtually nonexistent, since women aren't interested in a virgin my age, no matter how dashing and handsome i am.  what really hurts me though isn't the fact i've never had sex, it's that i want to have children very badly, and every day that dream gets farther and farther from ever becoming a reality.


Dude, virginity isn't something worn on your sleeve. If you never bring it up and don't act shy and weird about sex, no one would ever know.
2013-04-04 12:39:29 PM  
1 votes:

freeforever: The best article ever written on the subject of Nice Guys:

But If We Started Dating It Would Ruin Our Friendship Where I Ask You To Do Things And You Do Them

I really like you. I do. You're so nice, and sweet, and you listen to all my problems and respond with the appropriate compliments. But, well, I don't really see a relationship in our future. It would be terrible if we let sex destroy this great friendship we have where I get everything I want and you get nothing you want. Don't you think?

I knew you would understand. You always do.

We're so perfect as friends, you know? I can tell you anything, and you know you can always come to me anytime you need to hear me biatch about work or how ugly I feel. You wouldn't want to ruin a friendship like that just so you could be my boyfriend, and have me look at you with desire and longing in my eyes, if only once-would you? Of course not. Well, if we started dating, it would only complicate this wonderful setup I've got going here.

It's just...you're like my best friend, and I would hate for something you desperately want to change that. I mean, sure, we could go on some dates, maybe mess around a little and finally validate the six years you've spent languishing in this platonic nightmare, but then what? How could we ever go back to the way we were, where I take advantage of your clear attraction to me so I can have someone at my beck and call? That part of our friendship means so much to me.

No. We are just destined to be really, really good friends who only hang out when I don't have a boyfriend, but still need male attention to boost my fragile and all-consuming ego.

Anything can happen once you bring romance in. Think about how awful my last relationship was at the end, remember? The guy I'd call you crying about at 3 a.m. because he wouldn't answer my texts? The guy I met at the birthday party you threw me? I had insanely passionate sex with him for four months and now we don't even talk anymore. God, I would ...


I think the whole "nice guys" thing is that no matter how wonderful, awesome, or attentive a dude is, a girl cannot be expected to sleep with them or even date them. Someone doesn't want to date you, they don't want to date you. That doesn't make them callous or insensitive. It means they want different things. Maybe it ends up that there's an unhealthy dynamic between the guy and the girl resulting, but it's caused by wanting different things, not because the girl's an evil succubus. Why would a gal tell an obliging male friend to beat it?

Just think about it in reverse... a girl hangs out with a guy all the time. She has a total crush, but he's just not into it. Is he friend-zoning her? Leading her on? No, it's idiotic to think just because the parts fit together that sex should be owed.

\Is being nice so hard that it deserves a gold star at all times?
2013-04-04 12:38:54 PM  
1 votes:
skeptos:
I blame John Hughes. His movies ruined a generation of young men by giving them unrealistically high expectations about teenage romance

Interesting.  His films were also somewhat racist and depicted poor people in a bad light.  Still, I have a fondness for 16 Candles and B-fast Club.

If I may chime in on the whole nice guy versus bad guy debate.  I didn't date much in HS and college. I was the nice guy and pretty naive. When I got out and was working and paid fairly well (good amount of discretionary cash), I was much more confident to the point of being sort of a jerk (I sort of wince how I was at the time).  But my dating was finally very good.  Don't get me wrong.  I followed certain dating rules to a tea - always paying for the girl on the first several dates, be a gentleman, dress well, know good places for coffee dates, dinners and favorite bars, etc.  Women like confidence even to the point of being slightly arrogant or pretend type A (I'm not a type A personality, but its perception on those early dates).  Seems obvious, but I think a lot of guys whose dating isn't great seem to forget this stuff.  As for sex, generally I don't try to go for making out or getting laid on a first date (unless there are clear signals that WILL happen). And it puts the gal at ease that I'm a "nice" person.  And they generally give it up after date 3.  Sure, not all girls like that and I had my share of rejections and lousy dates.

Anyhow, I'm married now and that stuff is in the past.  But yeah, being an overly nice person never worked for me. And it's my fallback personality with women, AND it almost never works.  They never respect you for being a doormat. Just my .02.
2013-04-04 12:34:55 PM  
1 votes:
25.media.tumblr.com
2013-04-04 12:32:42 PM  
1 votes:
Freeforever's post reminded me of the perks of being a wallflower. Decent movie, but that dude should have pounded Emma with his wand before she went back to hogwartz
2013-04-04 12:30:03 PM  
1 votes:

ms_lara_croft: reillan: ms_lara_croft: Grables'Daughter: WelldeadLink: ms_lara_croft: Is this going to be the thread where nice guys come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?

Nope. Because we nice guys get the girls after they realize the other guy is a jerk.

Some of us will never realize this, sadly.

Then there is the fact that "nice guys" and jerks are the same thing.

some of us nice guys aren't jerks.  Of course, we're also not likely to bemoan the fact that girls only date jerks, because we'd be jerks for saying that... but still.

Oh, I know. I've met plenty of nice guys who are actually nice guys and they get on with women just fine. It's the "nice guys" who complain that women won't go out with them (i. e., have sex with them) because women supposedly date only jerks. Those "nice guys" have entitlement issues, amongst other things.


Indeed.

I used to refer to myself as a nice guy, but I gave that up once the common meaning of that meant 'passive-aggressive entitled misogynist". Although I feel I still get some shiat indirectly because of these "nice guys". People sometimes assume that I'm not actually nice and am just feigning it to hide my motives. I guess people just have a hard time believing nice people exist.

In a similar vein, I used to consider myself someone who believed in men's rights (not male supremacy or anything, just fair and equal treatment for anyone, I'd consider myself a feminist too)... then I realized that that term groups you in with some bad, bad people.
2013-04-04 12:15:20 PM  
1 votes:

Theaetetus: freeforever: "Nice guys" are not the same as jerks.  "Nice guys" are nice guys who are nice to women and in return don't get sex from them... "nice guys" complain they aren't getting sex...  How dare a "nice guy" ever expect anything more!

So, you're saying a "nice guy" is someone who expects sex in exchange for being nice and complains when they don't get what they're owed?  You're right... Jerks are much better.


Here we go. Don't you have a patent trolling thread to shiat on or something?
2013-04-04 12:14:52 PM  
1 votes:

MyKingdomForYourHorse: unlikely: The trick, then, was figuring out your percentage honestly, so you'd know where to aim.

Also called the 8-2 rule, meaning wherever you are on the scale of 1 to 10, you can reasonably shoot for a two point gap. Meaning if your an 8, you might get a 9 or settle for a 7.

Now us sociopaths like myself however, recognize the power of social manipulation. We realize that humans are pack animals and often influenced by decisions in the group and those decisions are often about competition. For instance, when women go out they often invite their friends however invariably their friends often tend to be people either slightly or some degree less attractive than them. Friendships tend to follow that 8-2 rule as well.

So what do sociopaths do? We manipulate this by shooting not for the 9, but her friend who is an 8 or 7. We ignore the hottest one in the group and invalidate her superiority amongst her group. Essentially we take her down several levels. What this does is elevate that 7 to top of the group and any decision she makes the group follows. So if you talk to the 7 and win her charm, you've almost instantly won the charm of the group.

Does it seal the deal, no but its a chink in the armor of the girls night out groups.


Neat. I watched "A Beautiful Mind" too.
2013-04-04 12:12:14 PM  
1 votes:

freeforever: "Nice guys" are not the same as jerks.  "Nice guys" are nice guys who are nice to women and in return don't get sex from them... "nice guys" complain they aren't getting sex...  How dare a "nice guy" ever expect anything more!


So, you're saying a "nice guy" is someone who expects sex in exchange for being nice and complains when they don't get what they're owed?  You're right... Jerks are much better.
2013-04-04 12:07:08 PM  
1 votes:

ms_lara_croft: Is this going to be the thread where nice guys come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?


Nope. This is the thread where fat, homely women let it be known that they are women in an attempt to attention whore to nerds since men won't pay any attention to them in the real world.
2013-04-04 12:01:56 PM  
1 votes:
Is it just me, or does everyone else spend way too much time thinking about what goes on below the waist?  Sex every once in awhile keeps me level-headed and the rest of the time I got better things to worry about.
2013-04-04 12:00:06 PM  
1 votes:

Rapmaster2000: Theaetetus: ms_lara_croft: Is this going to be the thread where nice guys come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?

[lolfeminist.files.wordpress.com image 300x300]

That's marvelous.


lesquestionscomposent.fr
2013-04-04 11:55:12 AM  
1 votes:

Killer Cars: ms_lara_croft: Then there is the fact that "nice guys" and jerks are the same thing.

Yeah, I'd be wary of any dude who would gladly self-identify as a "nice guy". There's plenty of honest-to-goodness nice guys out in the world, but they come in all different shapes, sizes and styles. Then you have the "nice" guys, where "nice" is really code for "attempts to use emotional manipulation to get what they want" and their idea of "nice" is not based in altruism or generosity whatsoever.


Here's a tip to all the "nice guys".  The jerk is honest.  You're not.
2013-04-04 11:53:13 AM  
1 votes:
Of course, it's funny now; I've been married 13 years, thank you, and the field no longer matters. But that doesn't quite change the fact that I was in that field for a long time, and it was bleak and grim and blasted with pits of despair-a kind of Mordor of interpersonal inadequacy.

He sounds ugly.
2013-04-04 11:51:34 AM  
1 votes:

Killer Cars: ms_lara_croft: Then there is the fact that "nice guys" and jerks are the same thing.

Yeah, I'd be wary of any dude who would gladly self-identify as a "nice guy". There's plenty of honest-to-goodness nice guys out in the world, but they come in all different shapes, sizes and styles. Then you have the "nice" guys, where "nice" is really code for "attempts to use emotional manipulation to get what they want" and their idea of "nice" is not based in altruism or generosity whatsoever.


THIS!!!!
2013-04-04 11:51:25 AM  
1 votes:

Theaetetus: Grables'Daughter: I think the article was dead on. It's much easier to just hook up with someone - there are no strings, no complications, just sex.

... No Amazon wish lists...


www.iloveblackmovies.com
2013-04-04 11:50:26 AM  
1 votes:
Of course, it's funny now; I've been married 13 years, thank you, and the field no longer matters.

Thank you for letting me know right at the start that this article is a load of BS you pulled out for the deadline.
2013-04-04 11:36:55 AM  
1 votes:
Is anybody really 'too ugly' to fark? Couldn't you just turn out the lights? Go in doggystyle with no eye contact. Couldn't a foot fetish just stick his junk between a fugly girl's soles? I know there "fat" per se, but I'm not talking talking about poking your wiener in the folds of her skin.  Perhaps fry some bacon to get you 'in the mood' if she's got fried egg tits. You don't have enough game to talk her into a farking latex hood or a Nixon mask for chrisakes? And what about the butt? I mean, even if it's all pimply you could play connect the dots, or pretend your a blind guy reading braille while you drive up the Hershey Highway ... you know, getting off on the Poop-Chute Route. Too ugly, I say? Why do you think God invented drugs and booze? Why I'll bet an epileptic girl or a shaky Parkinson's patient would be more fun than a sack full of kittens.
Even an amputee can make a crease.
2013-04-04 11:34:24 AM  
1 votes:

Sensual Tyrannosaurus: Grables'Daughter: I think the article was dead on. It's much easier to just hook up with someone - there are no strings, no complications, just sex.

It seems like such an empty pursuit though.


Surprising comment from a Tyrannosaurus...
i.imgur.com
2013-04-04 11:29:08 AM  
1 votes:

Grables'Daughter: I think the article was dead on. It's much easier to just hook up with someone - there are no strings, no complications, just sex.


Hey GD, long time no see. You are missed.
2013-04-04 11:25:56 AM  
1 votes:

Grables'Daughter: I think the article was dead on. It's much easier to just hook up with someone - there are no strings, no complications, just sex.


... No Amazon wish lists...
2013-04-04 11:23:30 AM  
1 votes:
I think the article was dead on. It's much easier to just hook up with someone - there are no strings, no complications, just sex.
2013-04-04 11:23:08 AM  
1 votes:

ms_lara_croft: Is this going to be the thread where nice guys come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?


lolfeminist.files.wordpress.com
2013-04-04 11:21:27 AM  
1 votes:

unlikely: The trick, then, was figuring out your percentage honestly, so you'd know where to aim.


Also called the 8-2 rule, meaning wherever you are on the scale of 1 to 10, you can reasonably shoot for a two point gap. Meaning if your an 8, you might get a 9 or settle for a 7.

Now us sociopaths like myself however, recognize the power of social manipulation. We realize that humans are pack animals and often influenced by decisions in the group and those decisions are often about competition. For instance, when women go out they often invite their friends however invariably their friends often tend to be people either slightly or some degree less attractive than them. Friendships tend to follow that 8-2 rule as well.

So what do sociopaths do? We manipulate this by shooting not for the 9, but her friend who is an 8 or 7. We ignore the hottest one in the group and invalidate her superiority amongst her group. Essentially we take her down several levels. What this does is elevate that 7 to top of the group and any decision she makes the group follows. So if you talk to the 7 and win her charm, you've almost instantly won the charm of the group.

Does it seal the deal, no but its a chink in the armor of the girls night out groups.
2013-04-04 11:17:34 AM  
1 votes:
The Atlantic: apologist for whatever self-destructive behavior is fascinating to the Left at this moment.
2013-04-04 09:53:31 AM  
1 votes:
This is going to be the thread where everyone brags about their sexual prowess in college and no one else believes them, right?
 
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