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(The Atlantic)   America's "hookup culture" isn't a problem, and the reason people aren't having as much promiscuous sex they'd like is because rejection is a big part of romance, especially when you're ugly   (theatlantic.com) divider line 283
    More: PSA, promiscuities, history of human sexuality, suicide rates, Oberlin, Puritanism, Mordor, cultures  
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8216 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Apr 2013 at 11:15 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-04 08:03:53 PM

screwzloos: megarian: screwzloos: elchupacabra: megarian: OgreMagi: What is this "hookup culture" people are speaking of?

/I haven't had a date since January.
//sob

Dude, I haven't had sex in two years. YEARS.

/Checks Profile
//shrugs

Must be a Detroit thing?  I'd suggest moving.  Except maybe not near screwzloos, unless you love vodak.

I'd share my vodka with her.

If by vodka you mean whiskey, I'm in.

How convenient; I have lots of both.


Arkansas? Well, I'm feeling Arkansassy.

Keep your doors unlocked. This will only hurt for a moment*.

*that's what I say to all the girls or boys. It's a lie and a trap.
 
2013-04-04 08:08:03 PM

megarian: screwzloos: megarian: screwzloos: elchupacabra: megarian: OgreMagi: What is this "hookup culture" people are speaking of?

/I haven't had a date since January.
//sob

Dude, I haven't had sex in two years. YEARS.

/Checks Profile
//shrugs

Must be a Detroit thing?  I'd suggest moving.  Except maybe not near screwzloos, unless you love vodak.

I'd share my vodka with her.

If by vodka you mean whiskey, I'm in.

How convenient; I have lots of both.

Arkansas? Well, I'm feeling Arkansassy.

Keep your doors unlocked. This will only hurt for a moment*.

*that's what I say to all the girls or boys. It's a lie and a trap.


You're off by a few degrees of latitude. AK is a little further from home than AR.

/my door is always unlocked
 
2013-04-04 08:09:50 PM

screwzloos: megarian: screwzloos: megarian: screwzloos: elchupacabra: megarian: OgreMagi: What is this "hookup culture" people are speaking of?

/I haven't had a date since January.
//sob

Dude, I haven't had sex in two years. YEARS.

/Checks Profile
//shrugs

Must be a Detroit thing?  I'd suggest moving.  Except maybe not near screwzloos, unless you love vodak.

I'd share my vodka with her.

If by vodka you mean whiskey, I'm in.

How convenient; I have lots of both.

Arkansas? Well, I'm feeling Arkansassy.

Keep your doors unlocked. This will only hurt for a moment*.

*that's what I say to all the girls or boys. It's a lie and a trap.

You're off by a few degrees of latitude. AK is a little further from home than AR.

/my door is always unlocked


Aw damn. My brain got excited and saw AR. I lived there and actually enjoyed it.

Too many fire ants, though.
 
2013-04-04 08:18:19 PM
I've been laughing too hard. I just "misplaced" a bunch of statistical information on my computer that I can't fake...and I need it or work. Jerks.
 
2013-04-04 08:22:21 PM
That article could have been written by my husband and I've felt that way myself although I lost my virginity earlier than he did.  Mostly, I find that most people in their teens and twenties are still figure things out relationship-wise.  Some are figuring it out by banging everything that moves.  Some are figuring things out by having a series of crappy relationships and some are still trying to figure out how to get into a relationship at all.  There isn't any one path.

Also:

\Nice guys:

UncleStumpy: Killer Cars: ms_lara_croft: Then there is the fact that "nice guys" and jerks are the same thing.

Yeah, I'd be wary of any dude who would gladly self-identify as a "nice guy". There's plenty of honest-to-goodness nice guys out in the world, but they come in all different shapes, sizes and styles. Then you have the "nice" guys, where "nice" is really code for "attempts to use emotional manipulation to get what they want" and their idea of "nice" is not based in altruism or generosity whatsoever.

I thought of myself as a "nice" guy who couldn't get a girl until my early 20's. Once I realized that girls do want a nice guy, and not a frickin spineless puppydog type personality, who was "too nice", I've had some success.

Enough that I'm getting married soon!


Very much THIS.  My husband is the nicest guy I know, but he's also one of the most confident.  It's sexy as hell.
 
2013-04-04 08:35:57 PM
As Richard Brautigan put it "If I were dead, I couldn't attract a female fly". One thing is for sure: I've put that old saw about "It will happen when you least expect it" permanently to rest. You couldn't possibly expect anything to happen less than I have in the twenty four years that have passed since my only girlfriend dumped me and left town, and still nothing. Profile photo is me that year.

Fark it. I just bought a new motorcycle. Riding it is fun, and takes my mind off what a complete failure I am. If I hit a deer at high speed, no great loss.
 
2013-04-04 08:36:57 PM

megarian: screwzloos: elchupacabra: megarian: OgreMagi: What is this "hookup culture" people are speaking of?

/I haven't had a date since January.
//sob

Dude, I haven't had sex in two years. YEARS.

/Checks Profile
//shrugs

Must be a Detroit thing?  I'd suggest moving.  Except maybe not near screwzloos, unless you love vodak.

I'd share my vodka with her.

If by vodka you mean whiskey, I'm in.


FYI, I run a single malt house.  Glenlivet is the norm.

/watches as all of the other farkers toss out their offers, too
 
2013-04-04 08:38:07 PM

megarian: I've been laughing too hard. I just "misplaced" a bunch of statistical information on my computer that I can't fake...and I need it or work. Jerks.


Sure you can fake it.  You're a woman, it's a natural ability to you.

/I'm going to pay for that
 
2013-04-04 08:52:38 PM

OgreMagi: megarian: screwzloos: elchupacabra: megarian: OgreMagi: What is this "hookup culture" people are speaking of?

/I haven't had a date since January.
//sob

Dude, I haven't had sex in two years. YEARS.

/Checks Profile
//shrugs

Must be a Detroit thing?  I'd suggest moving.  Except maybe not near screwzloos, unless you love vodak.

I'd share my vodka with her.

If by vodka you mean whiskey, I'm in.

FYI, I run a single malt house.  Glenlivet is the norm.

/watches as all of the other farkers toss out their offers, too


I was considering offering her a round trip ticket to come to Alaska sometime this summer, but that would probably send the wrong vibe. So yeah, single malt... or whatever.

/who am I kidding, I usually drink Crown Royal.
 
2013-04-04 08:59:45 PM

screwzloos: OgreMagi: megarian: screwzloos: elchupacabra: megarian: OgreMagi: What is this "hookup culture" people are speaking of?

/I haven't had a date since January.
//sob

Dude, I haven't had sex in two years. YEARS.

/Checks Profile
//shrugs

Must be a Detroit thing?  I'd suggest moving.  Except maybe not near screwzloos, unless you love vodak.

I'd share my vodka with her.

If by vodka you mean whiskey, I'm in.

FYI, I run a single malt house.  Glenlivet is the norm.

/watches as all of the other farkers toss out their offers, too

I was considering offering her a round trip ticket to come to Alaska sometime this summer, but that would probably send the wrong vibe. So yeah, single malt... or whatever.

/who am I kidding, I usually drink Crown Royal.


I'm twice her age, so any serious offer I make would be met with either "ewwwwww" or "POLICE!"
 
2013-04-04 09:06:33 PM
*looks at her Black Velvet*

Today was a good day.
 
2013-04-04 09:07:42 PM

OgreMagi: screwzloos: OgreMagi: megarian: screwzloos: elchupacabra: megarian: OgreMagi: What is this "hookup culture" people are speaking of?

/I haven't had a date since January.
//sob

Dude, I haven't had sex in two years. YEARS.

/Checks Profile
//shrugs

Must be a Detroit thing?  I'd suggest moving.  Except maybe not near screwzloos, unless you love vodak.

I'd share my vodka with her.

If by vodka you mean whiskey, I'm in.

FYI, I run a single malt house.  Glenlivet is the norm.

/watches as all of the other farkers toss out their offers, too

I was considering offering her a round trip ticket to come to Alaska sometime this summer, but that would probably send the wrong vibe. So yeah, single malt... or whatever.

/who am I kidding, I usually drink Crown Royal.

I'm twice her age, so any serious offer I make would be met with either "ewwwwww" or "POLICE!"


I only call the police when I would be implicated if I didn't.
 
2013-04-04 09:15:59 PM

megarian: OgreMagi: screwzloos: OgreMagi: megarian: screwzloos: elchupacabra: megarian: OgreMagi: What is this "hookup culture" people are speaking of?

/I haven't had a date since January.
//sob

Dude, I haven't had sex in two years. YEARS.

/Checks Profile
//shrugs

Must be a Detroit thing?  I'd suggest moving.  Except maybe not near screwzloos, unless you love vodak.

I'd share my vodka with her.

If by vodka you mean whiskey, I'm in.

FYI, I run a single malt house.  Glenlivet is the norm.

/watches as all of the other farkers toss out their offers, too

I was considering offering her a round trip ticket to come to Alaska sometime this summer, but that would probably send the wrong vibe. So yeah, single malt... or whatever.

/who am I kidding, I usually drink Crown Royal.

I'm twice her age, so any serious offer I make would be met with either "ewwwwww" or "POLICE!"

I only call the police when I would be implicated if I didn't.


Can you handle a chainsaw while only slightly drunk?
 
2013-04-04 09:17:25 PM

OgreMagi: megarian: OgreMagi: screwzloos: OgreMagi: megarian: screwzloos: elchupacabra: megarian: OgreMagi: What is this "hookup culture" people are speaking of?

/I haven't had a date since January.
//sob

Dude, I haven't had sex in two years. YEARS.

/Checks Profile
//shrugs

Must be a Detroit thing?  I'd suggest moving.  Except maybe not near screwzloos, unless you love vodak.

I'd share my vodka with her.

If by vodka you mean whiskey, I'm in.

FYI, I run a single malt house.  Glenlivet is the norm.

/watches as all of the other farkers toss out their offers, too

I was considering offering her a round trip ticket to come to Alaska sometime this summer, but that would probably send the wrong vibe. So yeah, single malt... or whatever.

/who am I kidding, I usually drink Crown Royal.

I'm twice her age, so any serious offer I make would be met with either "ewwwwww" or "POLICE!"

I only call the police when I would be implicated if I didn't.

Can you handle a chainsaw while only slightly drunk?


fark. Yes.
 
2013-04-04 09:21:58 PM

megarian: OgreMagi: megarian: OgreMagi: screwzloos: OgreMagi: megarian: screwzloos: elchupacabra: megarian: OgreMagi: What is this "hookup culture" people are speaking of?

/I haven't had a date since January.
//sob

Dude, I haven't had sex in two years. YEARS.

/Checks Profile
//shrugs

Must be a Detroit thing?  I'd suggest moving.  Except maybe not near screwzloos, unless you love vodak.

I'd share my vodka with her.

If by vodka you mean whiskey, I'm in.

FYI, I run a single malt house.  Glenlivet is the norm.

/watches as all of the other farkers toss out their offers, too

I was considering offering her a round trip ticket to come to Alaska sometime this summer, but that would probably send the wrong vibe. So yeah, single malt... or whatever.

/who am I kidding, I usually drink Crown Royal.

I'm twice her age, so any serious offer I make would be met with either "ewwwwww" or "POLICE!"

I only call the police when I would be implicated if I didn't.

Can you handle a chainsaw while only slightly drunk?

fark. Yes.


Good.  Because sometimes disposing of evidence can be messy.  Let me know when you are in town.
 
2013-04-04 09:25:24 PM

megarian: OgreMagi:


There's something oddly disturbing, yet inexplicably awesome about your exchanges right now.
 
2013-04-04 09:30:52 PM

megarian: Dude, I haven't had sex in two years. YEARS.


Married too, I see...
 
2013-04-04 09:32:50 PM

Gaseous Anomaly: megarian: Dude, I haven't had sex in two years. YEARS.

Married too, I see...


Not that I know of, but I went through some weird phases and I did "miss a flight" out of Mexico for like...a month...
 
2013-04-04 09:37:02 PM

OgreMagi: megarian: OgreMagi: megarian: OgreMagi: screwzloos: OgreMagi: megarian: screwzloos: elchupacabra: megarian: OgreMagi: What is this "hookup culture" people are speaking of?

/I haven't had a date since January.
//sob

Dude, I haven't had sex in two years. YEARS.

/Checks Profile
//shrugs

Must be a Detroit thing?  I'd suggest moving.  Except maybe not near screwzloos, unless you love vodak.

I'd share my vodka with her.

If by vodka you mean whiskey, I'm in.

FYI, I run a single malt house.  Glenlivet is the norm.

/watches as all of the other farkers toss out their offers, too

I was considering offering her a round trip ticket to come to Alaska sometime this summer, but that would probably send the wrong vibe. So yeah, single malt... or whatever.

/who am I kidding, I usually drink Crown Royal.

I'm twice her age, so any serious offer I make would be met with either "ewwwwww" or "POLICE!"

I only call the police when I would be implicated if I didn't.

Can you handle a chainsaw while only slightly drunk?

fark. Yes.

Good.  Because sometimes disposing of evidence can be messy.  Let me know when you are in town.


Deal. And I have extra tarps from a previous thread... So the mess is not a problem, if not portable! Kind of like fast food burritos.

And you don't dispose evidence. You BBQ it.
 
2013-04-04 09:56:09 PM

Clutch2013: megarian: OgreMagi:

There's something oddly disturbing, yet inexplicably awesome about your exchanges right now.


I like oddly disturbing.

It makes church more fun on holidays.
 
2013-04-04 10:05:05 PM
farm3.staticflickr.com
 
2013-04-04 10:25:48 PM
"Romance Always Involves Failure and Despair"
...and sex doesn't?
 
2013-04-04 10:59:36 PM

megarian: Clutch2013: megarian: OgreMagi:

There's something oddly disturbing, yet inexplicably awesome about your exchanges right now.

I like oddly disturbing.

It makes church more fun on holidays.


I'm not allowed in church anymore.  They didn't appreciate my Jesus jack-in-the-box codpiece.
 
2013-04-04 11:04:27 PM

OgreMagi: megarian: Clutch2013: megarian: OgreMagi:

There's something oddly disturbing, yet inexplicably awesome about your exchanges right now.

I like oddly disturbing.

It makes church more fun on holidays.

I'm not allowed in church anymore.  They didn't appreciate my Jesus jack-in-the-box codpiece.


Pssssh people get so worked up over modern art.

And jack-in-the-box? Who doesn't like surprises?!

Also, "Jesus Jack-in-the-Box": band name or porno...you decide!
 
2013-04-04 11:24:25 PM

megarian: OgreMagi: megarian: Clutch2013: megarian: OgreMagi:

There's something oddly disturbing, yet inexplicably awesome about your exchanges right now.

I like oddly disturbing.

It makes church more fun on holidays.

I'm not allowed in church anymore.  They didn't appreciate my Jesus jack-in-the-box codpiece.

Pssssh people get so worked up over modern art.

And jack-in-the-box? Who doesn't like surprises?!

Also, "Jesus Jack-in-the-Box": band name or porno...you decide!


BTW, your email address is broken.  Not stalking you.  I was sending you information about something.

/really, I'm not a stalker
//BTW, nice outfit
///oh wait ... crap
////slashies
 
2013-04-04 11:36:11 PM

OgreMagi: megarian: OgreMagi: megarian: Clutch2013: megarian: OgreMagi:

There's something oddly disturbing, yet inexplicably awesome about your exchanges right now.

I like oddly disturbing.

It makes church more fun on holidays.

I'm not allowed in church anymore.  They didn't appreciate my Jesus jack-in-the-box codpiece.

Pssssh people get so worked up over modern art.

And jack-in-the-box? Who doesn't like surprises?!

Also, "Jesus Jack-in-the-Box": band name or porno...you decide!

BTW, your email address is broken.  Not stalking you.  I was sending you information about something.

/really, I'm not a stalker
//BTW, nice outfit
///oh wait ... crap
////slashies


You're silly. I just got an email from my library

megarian+87
At hotmail.
Dot com.

Remove the "+".

POOF!

And joke's on you! I'm not wearing an outfit!!! Because SPRING! And hookup culture!!!
 
2013-04-05 02:07:39 AM
So do the kids all have such a short attention span that they've already forgotten about "rape culture"? It hasn't been mentioned once.

Also, as someone who lived in Alaska for 31 years, the best piece of advice I can give about dating in Alaska is to move.

Which is too bad, it's really beautiful and amazing up there in ways that are incomprehensible even in other beautiful and amazing places. Got more my first winter in Portland than all 31 years up there, and it wasn't because I suddenly developed game. That winter would have been a slow week for most people I know here.
 
2013-04-05 09:42:44 AM
I gotta start Farking at night, I miss all the good shiat.
 
2013-04-05 10:20:42 AM
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
 
2013-04-05 11:15:47 AM

Qellaqan: I have another awesome guy friend who like lives in the friend zone happily. He makes it readily known that he thinks all his lady friends are smoking hot, and yes, he *would* be interested in any of them should they look his way. He is an absolute doormat, but with humor. But it's so honest and refreshing! He doesn't ever resent the rejection, it's more a, "well, I'll be here if you want anything... bow chicka wow wow..." attitude. He's my best guy friend. It sounds somewhat desperate, but it really comes off as endearing and honest. He does occasionally have success as well. Some girls think he's creepy, I guess it is a little unusual. He went to an almost all male engineering school, so maybe that has something to do with it...


Two things that engineering schools are very, very good at:

1)  Teaching us "you will never, ever, ever succeed with hot chicks, ever, stop wasting your time."
2)  High-bandwidth porn.

My GF and I knew each other for a couple years as part of the same circle of friends.  We would never have tried dating if we hadn't both gotten drunk at a party and revealed the mutual attraction (which each had kept hidden from the other).

Up until that point, I had resigned myself to living single with a really sore arm.
 
2013-04-05 08:19:49 PM

Magnanimous_J: enderthexenocide: i'm still a virgin at age 33, and yeah that really sucks and it sure as hell isn't by choice.  i look back at my college years and just cringe when i realize what an idiot i was.  you know what really killed my chances of ever getting laid in college?  i don't drink alcohol and i only hung out with my little group of friends.  of course i never got laid!  there were plenty of women there that would have been interested in me if i had just been more social.  go to a party, have a few drinks, find a girl who is by herself and start talking to her.  sex and relationships are not that complicated, but my god was i clueless in college.  and since i've still never had sex, you could argue i'm still pretty clueless right now.  but my opportunities for sex dwindled away as soon as i graduated, because i was no longer surrounded by lots of women my age that i already had things in common with.  and now that i'm 33 the odds of getting laid are virtually nonexistent, since women aren't interested in a virgin my age, no matter how dashing and handsome i am.  what really hurts me though isn't the fact i've never had sex, it's that i want to have children very badly, and every day that dream gets farther and farther from ever becoming a reality.


Calm down. To steal a joke from Alec Baldwin, you're 33, that's like 16 in woman years. If you can keep your hair and not get too fat, you'll be physically desirable to the mainstream well into your 50's.


The "V" issue obviously bothers you. I get that. What you need to do is FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T TELL ANY WOMEN. Then, get your first one out of the way ASAP. Troll the 2AM bar scene, bus station or bowling alley. Whatever it takes to get the first one done. It won't be good. I just took up golf and I'll tell you, it was embarrassing when the high school girls team practicing nearby was giggling at me missing the ball over and over again with my weird, awkward jerky swing. Now I've got a couple range sessions under my belt and someone watching would assume I'm only medium terrible. But I'm smacking that ball every time now.


You're behind the curve, for sure. You'll need to put actual effort into catching up. Read books, be attentive, pay attention to what you are doing. 99% of your competition isn't putting this kind of effort into their game. But if you get up, stop feeling sorry for yourself and take a risk or two, in a couple years' time, you'll be just fine.


Haha, yeah, not really. If you have a lot of money, you'll have an advantage as a middle aged male (all the disingenuous gold diggers will target you). If you're a middle aged, average man, you're pretty much in the same boat as the rest of us. You Farkers know how this works...rich man, young hottie woman. Otherwise, you better be fit, have a good career and personality if you want to attract a partner, who will be similar in those respects. 33 for a man is not automatically 16 in woman years. However, both men and women can do things to make themselves more attractive to a partner.
 
2013-04-07 02:08:44 AM

PJ-: Stop putting women on a pedestal, they want to have sex just as much as you do.


This is absolutely true... however, their scope is a bit narrower than the male of the species.
We ran an experiment in one of my psych classes having to deal with male female interaction, and how we as species choose mates for marriage or for farking.  We all have heard of the "alpha male" whom the females want for procreation, and the "beta male" they want for raising the offspring, so that's what we tested.
We took a group of 1000 pictures from former classes (the professor had been running this experiment for nearly 10 years), 500 male and 500 female 8 by 10 black and white, shoulders up on one side and full length on the other. Everyone wore jeans and a t-shirt (I had my pic taken for future classes). They ranged in age from 17 to 45, with a spread roughly equal to the on-campus student body in racial makeup.

We took them to the student center and pinned them up for five days in one of the ballrooms, then had pads of those tiny post it notes in blue and pink for heteros. Gays and lesbians were given green and yellow post its, and those were figured into the results as well. The subjects who came in knew nothing about the people in the pictures, just their appearance. To make sure it was random, we arranged them in alphabetical order.

Out of almost 2500 post its (2,446), only three of the 500 pictures of females displayed got no post it notes. A graph we made showed the distribution of post-its, which resembled a small hill with the crest slightly to the left of center... there were two pics that had the most notes, 23 and 34 notes respectively. The ideal was a caucasian woman, about 18.2 years old, medium height (1.6m or about 5'9") and about 54 kilos or 120 lbs in weight.

Of the 500 male pics we put up, 104 got no notes, and another 23 got only one note. Nine of the pics were covered with notes that spilled off the sides, with the winner getting 67 notes... the prof called them his "stud farm". The graph for them had a steeply sloped hill with the peak right of center. The ideal was a caucasian male, 77 kilos (170 lbs), 1.85m (73") tall, and 23 years old. There was also more likely to be writing on the post-its left on the males pictures.. we found four phone numbers.

So yes, your assertion that females want sex just as much, if not more than the male of the species is entirely correct, it's with a much more limited range of men for both procreation and for the old in and out. This is what, unfortunately, makes "nice guys".

/got to use the stuff from my stats class
//one of the most fun classes I ever took
 
2013-04-07 09:06:08 PM

Grandemadaca: 1960s: Age of Free Love - I'm a child
1970s: Sex, Drugs and Rock n Roll - I'm  pimply pre-teen more interested in Star Trek.
1980-2000s: BAM! Aids. Casual sex nose dives. - NOW I'm old enough and ain't getting much.
2013: Hookup Culture - Married 25 years. Ain't getting much.

FML


Same here.
In the 60's all I wanted was a bottle, then GIJoe action figures (they weren't dolls, dammit!)
In the 70's I was a pre teen and teen just trying to figure out why my voice was so funny and WTF IS WITH THIS HAIR?!?! and too young to party
In the 80s and 90's AAAAAIIIIDDDDSSSS made me almost too scared to even beat off. Almost.
And now in the 'oughts all the good sh*t has passed me by.
Meanwhile the boomers that came ahead of me smoked everything, drank everything, f*cked everybody, and used everything up before telling the tail end boomers/genXers like me "Just Say NO!"

/too late for the party
//too early to die
///FML
 
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