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(The Atlantic)   America's "hookup culture" isn't a problem, and the reason people aren't having as much promiscuous sex they'd like is because rejection is a big part of romance, especially when you're ugly   (theatlantic.com ) divider line
    More: PSA, promiscuities, history of human sexuality, suicide rates, Oberlin, Puritanism, Mordor, cultures  
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8252 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Apr 2013 at 11:15 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-04 01:25:29 PM  

PJ-: verbaltoxin: freeforever: Uh, no.  "Nice guys" are not the same as jerks.  "Nice guys" are nice guys who are nice to women and in return don't get sex from them.  They are the designated drivers, willing to pick women up from the airport at the drop of a hat or drive them home from the bar after having a few too many.  They are the guys who constantly feed women compliments they so crave, and the guys who will do manual labor and other chores for the girl when her boyfriend isn't around.  Feminists get angry when "nice guys" complain they aren't getting sex because a "nice guy's" place in society is to be the emotional tampon for women who need their friendship ie., attention.  How dare a "nice guy" ever expect anything more!

Jerks are men, usually decent men who know how to play the field and but called jerks (usually by disgruntled "nice guys") because they get laid without jumping through all the fruitless hoops mentioned above.

There's a difference between "nice guys" and jerks, and it's because women/feminists equate the two that no self-respecting man should ever settle for the "nice guy" role. You and your white-knighted efforts will never be rewarded.

Clue: you're not a nice guy. You're a titanic asshole.

Doesn't matter, had sex.


Actually this guy didn't, and he's blaming the women for not offering up poon for chores.
 
2013-04-04 01:26:34 PM  

BHShaman: unlikely: A couple roommates and I worked out a theory when we were all undergrads.

It is not just a theory. You should have filmed a documentary and did some testing like the folks who made the Documentary that shows just what you describe, it is available on Netflix.


Do they get more complex than that? We always thought you could really refine it further...

Do you know what the Netflix one is called?
 
2013-04-04 01:27:39 PM  

freeforever: The best article ever written on the subject of Nice Guys:

But If We Started Dating It Would Ruin Our Friendship Where I Ask You To Do Things And You Do Them


Somehow I missed that one.
That was wonderful.
 
2013-04-04 01:27:54 PM  

enderthexenocide: i'm still a virgin at age 33, and yeah that really sucks and it sure as hell isn't by choice.  i look back at my college years and just cringe when i realize what an idiot i was.  you know what really killed my chances of ever getting laid in college?  i don't drink alcohol and i only hung out with my little group of friends.  of course i never got laid!  there were plenty of women there that would have been interested in me if i had just been more social.  go to a party, have a few drinks, find a girl who is by herself and start talking to her.  sex and relationships are not that complicated, but my god was i clueless in college.  and since i've still never had sex, you could argue i'm still pretty clueless right now.  but my opportunities for sex dwindled away as soon as i graduated, because i was no longer surrounded by lots of women my age that i already had things in common with.  and now that i'm 33 the odds of getting laid are virtually nonexistent, since women aren't interested in a virgin my age, no matter how dashing and handsome i am.  what really hurts me though isn't the fact i've never had sex, it's that i want to have children very badly, and every day that dream gets farther and farther from ever becoming a reality.



Calm down. To steal a joke from Alec Baldwin, you're 33, that's like 16 in woman years. If you can keep your hair and not get too fat, you'll be physically desirable to the mainstream well into your 50's.


The "V" issue obviously bothers you. I get that. What you need to do is FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T TELL ANY WOMEN. Then, get your first one out of the way ASAP. Troll the 2AM bar scene, bus station or bowling alley. Whatever it takes to get the first one done. It won't be good. I just took up golf and I'll tell you, it was embarrassing when the high school girls team practicing nearby was giggling at me missing the ball over and over again with my weird, awkward jerky swing. Now I've got a couple range sessions under my belt and someone watching would assume I'm only medium terrible. But I'm smacking that ball every time now.


You're behind the curve, for sure. You'll need to put actual effort into catching up. Read books, be attentive, pay attention to what you are doing. 99% of your competition isn't putting this kind of effort into their game. But if you get up, stop feeling sorry for yourself and take a risk or two, in a couple years' time, you'll be just fine.
 
PJ-
2013-04-04 01:35:29 PM  

verbaltoxin: PJ-: verbaltoxin: freeforever: Uh, no.  "Nice guys" are not the same as jerks.  "Nice guys" are nice guys who are nice to women and in return don't get sex from them.  They are the designated drivers, willing to pick women up from the airport at the drop of a hat or drive them home from the bar after having a few too many.  They are the guys who constantly feed women compliments they so crave, and the guys who will do manual labor and other chores for the girl when her boyfriend isn't around.  Feminists get angry when "nice guys" complain they aren't getting sex because a "nice guy's" place in society is to be the emotional tampon for women who need their friendship ie., attention.  How dare a "nice guy" ever expect anything more!

Jerks are men, usually decent men who know how to play the field and but called jerks (usually by disgruntled "nice guys") because they get laid without jumping through all the fruitless hoops mentioned above.

There's a difference between "nice guys" and jerks, and it's because women/feminists equate the two that no self-respecting man should ever settle for the "nice guy" role. You and your white-knighted efforts will never be rewarded.

Clue: you're not a nice guy. You're a titanic asshole.

Doesn't matter, had sex.

Actually this guy didn't, and he's blaming the women for not offering up poon for chores.


I think you misinterpreted what I was trying to say.  He can call out guys for being a titanic assholes, but it doesn't matter, because they had sex.
 
2013-04-04 01:35:51 PM  
What is this "hookup culture" people are speaking of?

/I haven't had a date since January.
//sob
 
2013-04-04 01:39:47 PM  

OgreMagi: What is this "hookup culture" people are speaking of?

/I haven't had a date since January.
//sob


January? Life must be so hard for you.
 
2013-04-04 01:41:20 PM  

enderthexenocide: now that i'm 33 the odds of getting laid are virtually nonexistent, since women aren't interested in a virgin my age, no matter how dashing and handsome i am


You can hire a pro to show you the ropes, so to speak.

If you're concerned about legal repercussions, hire an escort for an hour and actually just take her to dinner, talk, etc. without any discussion at all of paying for sex. (This also lets her know YOU aren't a cop). Hire her again some time later and THEN get to the lessons.

Expensive, but no cop will go to the trouble of pretending to be an escort for a whole hour for the sake of a single bust.

/Dan Savage's idea IIRC, not original to me
//have not tried it myself
 
2013-04-04 01:41:23 PM  

PJ-: I always laugh at the 'nice guys' who say that women are just biatches because they won't give them a chance.  Well here's an idea superfriend, stop being such a creeper.  Stop being always available for the girl that you want, why would she be willing to plow you when you give her everything she wants/needs and she doesn't have to life a finger.  Honestly, being a nice guy isn't even all that hard, you make it sound like you are lifting the weight of the world by being such a nice guy.  Yes, it's so hard to pretend like you are listening with a smile on your face, while in your head you are undressing her.  Yes, it's so hard to open a door for someone because their hands are full.  I couldn't even imagine how hard it is to go out for lunch once in a while to catch up on things.  Girls want nice guys, but they also don't want a female to date, if they did, they would be a lesbian.  Now, i'm not saying to puff out your chest and try to fight everybody who dares look at your lady friend, but having some confidence really goes a long way.

Life is hard, life is harder when you're dumb, life is next to impossible when you're fugly.


In my experience 'nice guys' are actually super manipulative if they ever get into a relationship. They basically will show up at your doorstep every day to ask you out, buy you presents you *don't* want, and dedicate every song they sing to you. Personally, I don't find this kind of behavior romantic, I find it scary. I never dated my creepy nice guy stalker because he literally knew NOTHING about me.

Who I did end up dating was the guy who *was* a friend, and a real friend not someone who obsessively had to be around me and help me with everything, a normal friend who you could joke with and who was friends with your other friends.

My friend ended up dating a guy who was kind of creepily stalking her- she labeled it as 'romantic'. This guy would literally *have* to have his arms wrapped around her when we were at a concert to 'protect' her. He would call her like 50 times if they weren't together. He would guilt trip her if she didn't go to his house every single day.

Yep, I hate nice guys.

/now in another category we have guys who are pushovers who really can be nice, but they aren't the crazy self-sacrificing stalkers I'm talking about... they are the guys who get stuck with girl 'nice guys' if that makes sense. By that I mean their girlfriend/wife is a psychotic controlling manipulative person.
 
2013-04-04 01:42:11 PM  

rustypouch: OgreMagi: What is this "hookup culture" people are speaking of?

/I haven't had a date since January.
//sob

January? Life must be so hard for you.


That was my first date in over a year.
 
2013-04-04 01:44:19 PM  

spidermilk: In my experience 'nice guys' are actually super manipulative if they ever get into a relationship


i'm a complete jerk, wanna fark?
 
2013-04-04 01:44:38 PM  

Gaseous Anomaly: Expensive, but no cop will go to the trouble of pretending to be an escort for a whole hour for the sake of a single bust.


That sounds like a lot of work. Just go to Vegas. The hotel's concierge can have one waiting in your room when you check in.
 
2013-04-04 01:46:33 PM  

hitlersbrain: Remember (it's one of the hardest things for guys to get thru their heads and causes the most anguish) girls like sex about 1/1000th as much as you and it's not very important to them.


This guy is lying to you to try to get you off the playing field.

Most women would rather have a good stiff one in them than be doing anything else. They just want that good stiff one to be attached to someone they like, and they want it to stay stiff until they're finished.
 
2013-04-04 01:49:00 PM  

hitlersbrain: MOST guys get very, very little sex because girls don't really like sex and don't really want it


How did you  get a handle like hitlersbrain all the way back there in 1890?
 
2013-04-04 01:50:21 PM  

Grables'Daughter: LeroyBourne: The author should have just thrown it out and said no strings attached sex is easy, but relationships are hard, so lets just discretely bang.

But that's exactly what I got out of the article.


I'm impressed, you actually rtfa?  I just troll through the thread looking for highlighted comments.

/And yours is in a pretty shade of pink
 
2013-04-04 01:52:22 PM  

Qellaqan: I think the whole "nice guys" thing is that no matter how wonderful, awesome, or attentive a dude is, a girl cannot be expected to sleep with them or even date them. Someone doesn't want to date you, they don't want to date you. That doesn't make them callous or insensitive. It means they want different things. Maybe it ends up that there's an unhealthy dynamic between the guy and the girl resulting, but it's caused by wanting different things, not because the girl's an evil succubus. Why would a gal tell an obliging male friend to beat it?


But see I'm nice and sweet and cool.  Therefore she owes me a roll in the hay.
 
2013-04-04 01:59:51 PM  
So pity-farks don't count now?
 
2013-04-04 02:03:01 PM  

SirEattonHogg: But yeah, being an overly nice person never worked for me. And it's my fallback personality with women, AND it almost never works. They never respect you for being a doormat. Just my .02.


You hit the nail on the head

/former nice guy
//only for a couple of years b/c it never works...lol
 
2013-04-04 02:05:12 PM  

ms_lara_croft: Is this going to be the thread where nice guys come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?


Well they *do*.

Snidery aside, the corollary to the "nice guy" who constantly biatches about not getting sex is the "liberated woman" who is always whining about how all men are "assholes" despite the fact that she keeps rewarding their bad behaviors with sex.   You can't want to be "pursued" and "chased" and be surprised when your pursuers are predatory and you are treated like prey.  Yet "liberated women" keep farking pushy man-children and "nice guys" keep expecting to fark on the first date.

And time and time again, it's been proven that being pretty leads to promotions, being demanding leads to raises, being pushy gets sales, and being respectful towards others gets your teeth kicked in.  It's science. So really, the world at large just rewards jerks.
 
2013-04-04 02:08:00 PM  
MyKingdomForYourHorse: Does it seal the deal, no but its a chink in the armor of the girls night out groups./i>

www.piccer.nl

I always tought women didn't really do larping
 
2013-04-04 02:10:25 PM  
So by the comments it would seem that "nice guys", in reality aren't very nice.  And the the guys that aren't the needy "nice guys" are still the same guys that have always been jerks.

So this must mean that all guys are jerks whether women like them or not.  Unless they are gay.
 
2013-04-04 02:17:05 PM  
My $.02:

My problem as an idiot youth was that I'd not have an immediate strong attraction to a woman -- sure, I may have had physical attraction immediately, but not the "would like to date" level of interest.  After getting to know them, ever so often my interest would bypass that level and would go straight to "WANT AS GIRLFRIEND OMG SHE'S TEH ONE" level.  And it didn't help my rejection status was pretty much 100% "OMG HOW DARE YOU LIKE ME/HER?!?!" reaction.

So, absent any good input on how to meet girls, all I had was, "Take my current Nice level and kick it to 11".

Oh, and I couldn't detect interest level from a woman to save my life -- unless they were utterly unacceptable as an option.  I had a bad phase of attracting the uber-freaks -- IQ <70, unbathed, hillbilly, crackhead, you name it.  So, there's that.

Thing is, as a former "Nice Guy" I never get the stereotype that "Nice Guys" are dishonest -- it's not as if I'd stop being nice if I'd managed to land a woman using that method.  And I never resented women for not liking me -- always knew there was something wrong with me and just hoped it wasn't permanent.

Are there "Nice Guys" out there that dropped the act after getting a girlfriend?
 
PJ-
2013-04-04 02:19:29 PM  

elchupacabra: I had a bad phase of attracting the uber-freaks -- IQ <70


There is nothing wrong with this.  They don't get caught up on things like 'no, no not on the face!'
 
2013-04-04 02:20:08 PM  
Why "nice guys" aren't nice guys:

I had a couple of guy friends growing up who ended up being into me, and I wasn't into them. Both of them acted like I was being incredibly unkind and inconsiderate when I honestly felt like it wasn't going to be there. We were good friends, but because I said "no thanks" they threw tantrums and we weren't friends after that. With the first one, we were in high school, and I just didn't feel ready to date yet. I didn't date anyone until college, so I think that was honest and fair. With the second one, he had temper issues which were tolerable in a friend but totally not in a boyfriend. Of course I couldn't say that, I just said I didn't want to date.

The only guy I dated seriously I am married to now. He's actually nice-- he is kind to people just because. Way nicer than I am, to the point where it's a bit frustrating. You're late for dinner again because you were helping someone out? But that's a minor frustration I'm happy to have.

Nice guys get girls, just not "nice guys"

\css?
 
2013-04-04 02:21:56 PM  

PJ-: elchupacabra: I had a bad phase of attracting the uber-freaks -- IQ <70

There is nothing wrong with this.  They don't get caught up on things like 'no, no not on the face!'


LOL not sure if serious.  I just can't go for women that revolt me.
 
2013-04-04 02:25:36 PM  

Grables'Daughter: I think the article was dead on. It's much easier to just hook up with someone - there are no strings, no complications, just sex.


Yaa! You are back!
 
2013-04-04 02:26:26 PM  

Qellaqan: Why "nice guys" aren't nice guys:

 We were good friends, but because I said "no thanks" they threw tantrums and we weren't friends after that.


I'm of the strong opinion that once the dating "request" is made, friendship is no longer an option.  Either you're now dating, or eventually the guy is going to slip up and make another attempt that pisses you off, or something you do innocently will be misinterpreted as "Try again, Big Boy".

Just better to go, "Oh well, I tried" and be cordial but distant after that.
 
2013-04-04 02:27:24 PM  
Ugh, that was a bit harsh.... Let's just say "Friendship after attempting to date is risky and rarely works".
 
2013-04-04 02:29:07 PM  

Nice guys finish ass.


No nudity, but possibly NSFW image.

You can be the first to my sloppy seconds.

 
PJ-
2013-04-04 02:32:14 PM  

Dahnkster: Nice guys finish ass.
No nudity, but possibly NSFW image.
You can be the first to my sloppy seconds.


I don't understand the whole thing about sloppy seconds.  I don't see what's such a turn on about 'OWOWOWOOWOWOWOWOWOW' *cry* 'it hurts so much!'
 
kab
2013-04-04 02:35:53 PM  

elchupacabra: I never get the stereotype that "Nice Guys" are dishonest


And that's because most of the generalization flying around on this (and every other thread like it on this site) is rather inaccurate when talking about nice guys vs. jerks.

Being a doormat for a chick doesn't mean you're a nice guy, it means you're a doormat, and that's a trait that likely impacts much more than just your relationship with the opposite sex. (nor is it limited to males).

Being a clingy, possessive type (also not gender limited) isn't a nice guy trait, it's more of a low self esteem / possession issue.   Very similar to how women who claim to "love a challenge" actually have possession issues.
 
kab
2013-04-04 02:36:52 PM  
possession issue = dominance issue.   Bad typing, no cookie.
 
2013-04-04 02:39:50 PM  

Gaseous Anomaly: enderthexenocide: now that i'm 33 the odds of getting laid are virtually nonexistent, since women aren't interested in a virgin my age, no matter how dashing and handsome i am

You can hire a pro to show you the ropes, so to speak.

If you're concerned about legal repercussions, hire an escort for an hour and actually just take her to dinner, talk, etc. without any discussion at all of paying for sex. (This also lets her know YOU aren't a cop). Hire her again some time later and THEN get to the lessons.

Expensive, but no cop will go to the trouble of pretending to be an escort for a whole hour for the sake of a single bust.


i46.tinypic.com

Depends on the bust.
 
2013-04-04 02:44:35 PM  

elchupacabra: Qellaqan: Why "nice guys" aren't nice guys:

 We were good friends, but because I said "no thanks" they threw tantrums and we weren't friends after that.

I'm of the strong opinion that once the dating "request" is made, friendship is no longer an option.  Either you're now dating, or eventually the guy is going to slip up and make another attempt that pisses you off, or something you do innocently will be misinterpreted as "Try again, Big Boy".

Just better to go, "Oh well, I tried" and be cordial but distant after that.


I get that some awkwardness and lack of closeness can't be avoided, especially in the short term. I felt more personally irritated because we were part of a larger group of friends both times. The first guy talked shiat about me, the second totally dropped out. I respect the second choice, but I thought it was a shame because he had trouble making friends in the first place and I wasn't trying to be an asshole.
 
2013-04-04 02:47:35 PM  

verbaltoxin: freeforever: Uh, no.  "Nice guys" are not the same as jerks.  "Nice guys" are nice guys who are nice to women and in return don't get sex from them.  They are the designated drivers, willing to pick women up from the airport at the drop of a hat or drive them home from the bar after having a few too many.  They are the guys who constantly feed women compliments they so crave, and the guys who will do manual labor and other chores for the girl when her boyfriend isn't around.  Feminists get angry when "nice guys" complain they aren't getting sex because a "nice guy's" place in society is to be the emotional tampon for women who need their friendship ie., attention.  How dare a "nice guy" ever expect anything more!

Jerks are men, usually decent men who know how to play the field and but called jerks (usually by disgruntled "nice guys") because they get laid without jumping through all the fruitless hoops mentioned above.

There's a difference between "nice guys" and jerks, and it's because women/feminists equate the two that no self-respecting man should ever settle for the "nice guy" role. You and your white-knighted efforts will never be rewarded.

Clue: you're not a nice guy. You're a titanic asshole.


Of course he isn't a nice guy. Like he said, nice guys are suckers and door mats.
 
2013-04-04 02:47:48 PM  

kab: Being a clingy, possessive type (also not gender limited) isn't a nice guy trait, it's more of a low self esteem / possession issue. Very similar to how women who claim to "love a challenge" actually have possession issues.


True, but the clingy & insecure guy sometimes (not always) packages his insecurities about himself and any possible cynicism he may carry about women in general (assuming there's compounded failures in his past romantic efforts) into one shiny, gift-wrapped "I'm a nice guy! Trust me!" presentation. His insecurities tell him his looks and lifestyle alone aren't attractive enough, and his issues with women may lead him to think being overly-available and attentive emotionally is viable "in" as a counter-weight to the perceived emotional distance Alpha Male Jackass gave her before. It's a calculated, wholly disrespectful shtick.

I'm not, and I hope everyone else, isn't trying to argue the average nice guy is totally full of sh*t and closet misogynist, but that type is absolutely out there. The above is only my label of the fake nice guy.
 
2013-04-04 02:52:06 PM  
I have another awesome guy friend who like lives in the friend zone happily. He makes it readily known that he thinks all his lady friends are smoking hot, and yes, he *would* be interested in any of them should they look his way. He is an absolute doormat, but with humor. But it's so honest and refreshing! He doesn't ever resent the rejection, it's more a, "well, I'll be here if you want anything... bow chicka wow wow..." attitude. He's my best guy friend. It sounds somewhat desperate, but it really comes off as endearing and honest. He does occasionally have success as well. Some girls think he's creepy, I guess it is a little unusual. He went to an almost all male engineering school, so maybe that has something to do with it...
 
2013-04-04 02:53:11 PM  

MyKingdomForYourHorse: unlikely: The trick, then, was figuring out your percentage honestly, so you'd know where to aim.

Also called the 8-2 rule, meaning wherever you are on the scale of 1 to 10, you can reasonably shoot for a two point gap. Meaning if your an 8, you might get a 9 or settle for a 7.

Now us sociopaths like myself however, recognize the power of social manipulation. We realize that humans are pack animals and often influenced by decisions in the group and those decisions are often about competition. For instance, when women go out they often invite their friends however invariably their friends often tend to be people either slightly or some degree less attractive than them. Friendships tend to follow that 8-2 rule as well.

So what do sociopaths do? We manipulate this by shooting not for the 9, but her friend who is an 8 or 7. We ignore the hottest one in the group and invalidate her superiority amongst her group. Essentially we take her down several levels. What this does is elevate that 7 to top of the group and any decision she makes the group follows. So if you talk to the 7 and win her charm, you've almost instantly won the charm of the group.

Does it seal the deal, no but its a chink in the armor of the girls night out groups.


I used to go for the loners who were cut out of the group because there was something wrong with them.  The good-looking ones were crazy in some way(s) but that's easily avoided by using her place and a fake phone number.
 
2013-04-04 02:53:44 PM  
The biggest problem the majority of my friends have isn't that they're aiming too high or that they're doing the "nice guys totally get laid, right?" thing, it's that they have completely unrealistic expectations or have no idea how to go about obtaining a relationship with someone.
So they'll continue to have short-lived "relationships" with as many people as it takes to find one they figure they can tolerate for more than a few weeks or months, while completely ignoring the signs that perhaps that relationship is not for them.
 
2013-04-04 03:02:25 PM  

Killer Cars: I hope everyone else, isn't trying to argue the average nice guy is totally full of sh*t and closet misogynist


You are hoping in vain. There is no reason to be an average nice guy because you will always be treated as if you are a "nice guy". See this thread or any like it for examples. Every time a guy says "I never get laid", it will be interpereted as "I am entitled to be laid", whether that is what he meant or not.

/not a nice guy
//or "nice guy" for that matter
 
2013-04-04 03:03:15 PM  

elchupacabra: Are there "Nice Guys" out there that dropped the act after getting a girlfriend?


Nah, they just got bitter while still single.

It largely boils down to, you see jerks having lots of sex, this causes envy, which ferments as it sits.  Envy -> jealousy -> bitter resentment.   The resentment is directed mostly at the sex-having competition males, but also at the no-sex-giving target females.

But that's not ALL, it's never just one thing.  There are plenty of ladies who take advantage of "nice guys" repeatedly, and when the nice guy finally GIVES UP because she won't fark him, he moves on, looks afield, and suddenly he's a big ol' jerky jerkface for not continuing to be her doormat.  But that's the beauty part, if you're a selfish asshole, it's always someone else's fault, whether it's not getting sex or not buying you dinner or not putting up with your stupid bullshiat every damn day.

As for me?  Part of me wants to join the dating game, but "protestant work ethic" indoctrinated into me for decades makes it hard to play games when there's still work to be done.
 
2013-04-04 03:05:21 PM  
Maybe we should just go back to arranged marriages.
 
2013-04-04 03:06:50 PM  

Qellaqan: I have another awesome guy friend who like lives in the friend zone happily.


I was sorta "that guy" during college. I was getting enough (not a lot mind you, but what I considered enough to keep my sanity) sexual attention during school, but I had ridiculously handsome roommates who in turn befriended and hooked up with ridiculously attractive females whom I sort of naturally befriended as well. Naturally, it was those girls I was more fascinated by. It does have its perks though; in a completely selfish, carnal way, hanging out with attractive people in public settings sort of raises your own profile.

In guy speak, hanging out with 9s and 10s can easily help you land an 8 when normally you'd be happy with a 6 or 7.

/Jesus, there's no way to convey that last sentence without sounding like a tool
//but, this was college; I think the lot of us WERE tools at that age.
 
2013-04-04 03:07:25 PM  

Sensual Tyrannosaurus: Grables'Daughter: I think the article was dead on. It's much easier to just hook up with someone - there are no strings, no complications, just sex.

It seems like such an empty pursuit though.


All activity is empty of any real meaning.  "Meaning" has no reality; it does not exist independent of one who defines it.  Were there no humans, there would be no meanings. Meanings are illusions.
 
2013-04-04 03:09:09 PM  

cgraves67: Didn't you get the memo? Sexual revolutions are for attractive people.


Then why do we have so many stories of homeless meth heads farking on park picnic tables?
 
2013-04-04 03:12:05 PM  

Qellaqan: I have another awesome guy friend who like lives in the friend zone happily. He makes it readily known that he thinks all his lady friends are smoking hot, and yes, he *would* be interested in any of them should they look his way. He is an absolute doormat, but with humor. But it's so honest and refreshing! He doesn't ever resent the rejection, it's more a, "well, I'll be here if you want anything... bow chicka wow wow..." attitude. He's my best guy friend. It sounds somewhat desperate, but it really comes off as endearing and honest. He does occasionally have success as well. Some girls think he's creepy, I guess it is a little unusual. He went to an almost all male engineering school, so maybe that has something to do with it...


Awesome when it works!
 
2013-04-04 03:12:32 PM  
Back in college girls thought I was a snob because I wouldnt talk to them. In reality I was just VERY shy. After a while I got out of my shell and dated more had a few hookups and it was fun. What made me really come out of my shell was working in radio, I was almost treated like a rock star even as an intern and I didnt have to say much. The one problem with that is I was so busy whoring around I missed a few great chances with some great women.  So after I got laid off things kinda dried up and outside of radio they frown on you hooking up with coworkers in the office, what the hell! But after a some years of dating around I found a great girl. Funny thing is Ive know her for 10 years she was just too shy to tell me how she felt about me cause I always seemed "too cool" for her. That made me laugh. Only thing that stinks is she is taking care of her grandma in Nashville and wont be back until may/june. But good thing about that all the filthy texts and pics she sends.
 
PJ-
2013-04-04 03:14:11 PM  

Killer Cars: Qellaqan: I have another awesome guy friend who like lives in the friend zone happily.

I was sorta "that guy" during college. I was getting enough (not a lot mind you, but what I considered enough to keep my sanity) sexual attention during school, but I had ridiculously handsome roommates who in turn befriended and hooked up with ridiculously attractive females whom I sort of naturally befriended as well. Naturally, it was those girls I was more fascinated by. It does have its perks though; in a completely selfish, carnal way, hanging out with attractive people in public settings sort of raises your own profile.

In guy speak, hanging out with 9s and 10s can easily help you land an 8 when normally you'd be happy with a 6 or 7.

/Jesus, there's no way to convey that last sentence without sounding like a tool
//but, this was college; I think the lot of us WERE tools at that age.


Don't worry, fat/ugly girls have been doing this the dawn of time, but also the pretty ones surround themselves with uglies so they look even better by comparison.
 
2013-04-04 03:14:57 PM  

BarkingUnicorn: Sensual Tyrannosaurus: Grables'Daughter: I think the article was dead on. It's much easier to just hook up with someone - there are no strings, no complications, just sex.

It seems like such an empty pursuit though.

All activity is empty of any real meaning.  "Meaning" has no reality; it does not exist independent of one who defines it.  Were there no humans, there would be no meanings. Meanings are illusions.


Well, I "meant" to get in her pants....
 
2013-04-04 03:14:59 PM  

BarkingUnicorn: cgraves67: Didn't you get the memo? Sexual revolutions are for attractive people.
Then why do we have so many stories of homeless meth heads farking on park picnic tables?


Poor impulse control.  Just like with a lot of  regular hookups, but it doesn't sound as  good when you're ugly.
 
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