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(The Atlantic)   America's "hookup culture" isn't a problem, and the reason people aren't having as much promiscuous sex they'd like is because rejection is a big part of romance, especially when you're ugly   (theatlantic.com) divider line 283
    More: PSA, promiscuities, history of human sexuality, suicide rates, Oberlin, Puritanism, Mordor, cultures  
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8189 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Apr 2013 at 11:15 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-04 11:47:11 AM

Sensual Tyrannosaurus: As if to illustrate my point, I have the sudden urge to delete my posts and immediately regret even posting them.


Everyone needs to do a 2am "post" in a bar every once in awhile. Get the mojo back and whatnot
 
2013-04-04 11:47:50 AM
The author should have just thrown it out and said no strings attached sex is easy, but relationships are hard, so lets just discretely bang.
 
2013-04-04 11:47:56 AM

Rapmaster2000: David Heatley went to Oberlin around when I did, and screwed everything that moved, according to his comics memoir My Sexual History. That Oberlin wasn't my Oberlin, though.  While at school, I dated no one; I didn't even kiss anyone, all through college and beyond...until I met my wife, in fact, in my late 20s.

If it makes you feel better, I'm pretty sure most of the girls at Oberlin are lesbians until they graduate and start dating the son of their father's dentistry partner.


I read "Oberon" and got excited for a sex AND beer thread.

Goddamnitsomuch.
 
2013-04-04 11:48:36 AM

thecpt: So I was supposed to regret college? I can't understand the articles on hook up culture. I didn't get rejected enough, so apparently I played conservatively.


I didn't play conservatively...because I think this helped a lot.

apexagent.com
 
2013-04-04 11:49:44 AM

ms_lara_croft: Then there is the fact that "nice guys" and jerks are the same thing.


Yeah, I'd be wary of any dude who would gladly self-identify as a "nice guy". There's plenty of honest-to-goodness nice guys out in the world, but they come in all different shapes, sizes and styles. Then you have the "nice" guys, where "nice" is really code for "attempts to use emotional manipulation to get what they want" and their idea of "nice" is not based in altruism or generosity whatsoever.
 
2013-04-04 11:50:26 AM
Of course, it's funny now; I've been married 13 years, thank you, and the field no longer matters.

Thank you for letting me know right at the start that this article is a load of BS you pulled out for the deadline.
 
2013-04-04 11:51:12 AM
LeroyBourne: The author should have just thrown it out and said no strings attached sex is easy, but relationships are hard, so lets just discretely bang.

But that's exactly what I got out of the article.
 
2013-04-04 11:51:25 AM

Theaetetus: Grables'Daughter: I think the article was dead on. It's much easier to just hook up with someone - there are no strings, no complications, just sex.

... No Amazon wish lists...


www.iloveblackmovies.com
 
2013-04-04 11:51:34 AM

Killer Cars: ms_lara_croft: Then there is the fact that "nice guys" and jerks are the same thing.

Yeah, I'd be wary of any dude who would gladly self-identify as a "nice guy". There's plenty of honest-to-goodness nice guys out in the world, but they come in all different shapes, sizes and styles. Then you have the "nice" guys, where "nice" is really code for "attempts to use emotional manipulation to get what they want" and their idea of "nice" is not based in altruism or generosity whatsoever.


THIS!!!!
 
2013-04-04 11:52:10 AM

blatz514: thecpt: So I was supposed to regret college? I can't understand the articles on hook up culture. I didn't get rejected enough, so apparently I played conservatively.

I didn't play conservatively...because I think this helped a lot.


Social lubricant only went so far for me. Then again what I find attractive isn't all looks and hate the fake look, plus my undergrad was only like 2500 students. Not many to strike out against
 
2013-04-04 11:52:53 AM

Theaetetus: ms_lara_croft: Is this going to be the thread where nice guys come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?

[lolfeminist.files.wordpress.com image 300x300]


That's marvelous.
 
2013-04-04 11:53:13 AM
Of course, it's funny now; I've been married 13 years, thank you, and the field no longer matters. But that doesn't quite change the fact that I was in that field for a long time, and it was bleak and grim and blasted with pits of despair-a kind of Mordor of interpersonal inadequacy.

He sounds ugly.
 
2013-04-04 11:54:22 AM
I blame John Hughes. His movies ruined a generation of young men by giving them unrealistically high expectations about teenage romance.
 
2013-04-04 11:55:06 AM
Guys who are actually nice don't have to go around whining that they're nice guys.

As for bad guys, well you know how we're always saying, "Don't stick your dick in crazy?" Well ladies, don't let crazy stick it to you.
 
2013-04-04 11:55:08 AM

thecpt: blatz514: thecpt: So I was supposed to regret college? I can't understand the articles on hook up culture. I didn't get rejected enough, so apparently I played conservatively.

I didn't play conservatively...because I think this helped a lot.

Social lubricant only went so far for me. Then again what I find attractive isn't all looks and hate the fake look, plus my undergrad was only like 2500 students. Not many to strike out against


Didn't have a whole lot of morals in college.  Went out, partied with drunk girls and the rest wrote itself.
 
2013-04-04 11:55:12 AM

Killer Cars: ms_lara_croft: Then there is the fact that "nice guys" and jerks are the same thing.

Yeah, I'd be wary of any dude who would gladly self-identify as a "nice guy". There's plenty of honest-to-goodness nice guys out in the world, but they come in all different shapes, sizes and styles. Then you have the "nice" guys, where "nice" is really code for "attempts to use emotional manipulation to get what they want" and their idea of "nice" is not based in altruism or generosity whatsoever.


Here's a tip to all the "nice guys".  The jerk is honest.  You're not.
 
2013-04-04 11:56:38 AM

Grables'Daughter: LeroyBourne: The author should have just thrown it out and said no strings attached sex is easy, but relationships are hard, so lets just discretely bang.

But that's exactly what I got out of the article.


Writing a meaningful and well researched piece on a complex and potentially controversial topic is hard, so lets push this fluff out the door and see if it gets some hits.
 
2013-04-04 11:56:42 AM

blatz514: thecpt: blatz514: thecpt: So I was supposed to regret college? I can't understand the articles on hook up culture. I didn't get rejected enough, so apparently I played conservatively.

I didn't play conservatively...because I think this helped a lot.

Social lubricant only went so far for me. Then again what I find attractive isn't all looks and hate the fake look, plus my undergrad was only like 2500 students. Not many to strike out against

Didn't have a whole lot of morals in college.  Went out, partied with drunk girls and the rest wrote itself.


Alright, bro fist
 
2013-04-04 11:56:48 AM

Dahnkster: Is anybody really 'too ugly' to fark? Couldn't you just turn out the lights? Go in doggystyle with no eye contact. Couldn't a foot fetish just stick his junk between a fugly girl's soles? I know there "fat" per se, but I'm not talking talking about poking your wiener in the folds of her skin.  Perhaps fry some bacon to get you 'in the mood' if she's got fried egg tits. You don't have enough game to talk her into a farking latex hood or a Nixon mask for chrisakes? And what about the butt? I mean, even if it's all pimply you could play connect the dots, or pretend your a blind guy reading braille while you drive up the Hershey Highway ... you know, getting off on the Poop-Chute Route. Too ugly, I say? Why do you think God invented drugs and booze? Why I'll bet an epileptic girl or a shaky Parkinson's patient would be more fun than a sack full of kittens.
Even an amputee can make a crease.


[weirdestboner.jpg]
 
2013-04-04 11:56:51 AM
No more causual sex man...Nooooooooo casual sex.


Kid C and the C's
 
2013-04-04 12:00:06 PM

Rapmaster2000: Theaetetus: ms_lara_croft: Is this going to be the thread where nice guys come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?

[lolfeminist.files.wordpress.com image 300x300]

That's marvelous.


lesquestionscomposent.fr
 
2013-04-04 12:01:56 PM
Is it just me, or does everyone else spend way too much time thinking about what goes on below the waist?  Sex every once in awhile keeps me level-headed and the rest of the time I got better things to worry about.
 
2013-04-04 12:02:04 PM

ms_lara_croft: Is this going to be the thread where nice guys come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?


Will it help if I come out and say that submitter is supporting all those guys that are responsible for pelting the poor ladies who just want to be respected for their accomplishments with so many bad pickup lines and sexual propositions that it drives them to tears every night?

/yes, most guys do that whole "rudely proposition a hundred hot chicks every day, and eventually one will say yes" thing that seems so creepy when you're on the receiving end
//they're the guys that aren't scared of rejection, in other words, the "real men" who women keep wondering why they never meet any
///21st century relationship thing, you know
 
2013-04-04 12:02:42 PM

megarian: sex AND beer


That's like PB&J!
 
2013-04-04 12:03:20 PM

Rapmaster2000: Killer Cars: ms_lara_croft: Then there is the fact that "nice guys" and jerks are the same thing.

Yeah, I'd be wary of any dude who would gladly self-identify as a "nice guy". There's plenty of honest-to-goodness nice guys out in the world, but they come in all different shapes, sizes and styles. Then you have the "nice" guys, where "nice" is really code for "attempts to use emotional manipulation to get what they want" and their idea of "nice" is not based in altruism or generosity whatsoever.

Here's a tip to all the "nice guys".  The jerk is honest.  You're not.


Here's another tip(s): get a good haircut, shave, take a shower and get some decent clothes.

Also, stop confusing "nice" and "creepy."
 
2013-04-04 12:06:02 PM

Rapmaster2000: Here's a tip to all the "nice guys". The jerk is honest. You're not.


I practice "Radical Honesty". It got me a ton of dates in college and I think it adds to my happy marriage. It's not that I have some high moral code, it's just I dont have the memory for keeping track of all the lies.
 
2013-04-04 12:06:06 PM

genepool lifeboat: megarian: sex AND beer

That's like PB&J!


Wait for it:

Sex, beer, and PB&J.
 
2013-04-04 12:07:08 PM

ms_lara_croft: Is this going to be the thread where nice guys come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?


Nope. This is the thread where fat, homely women let it be known that they are women in an attempt to attention whore to nerds since men won't pay any attention to them in the real world.
 
2013-04-04 12:07:09 PM

megarian: genepool lifeboat: megarian: sex AND beer

That's like PB&J!

Wait for it:

Sex, beer, and PB&J.


Messiest sammiches ever.
 
2013-04-04 12:07:19 PM

ms_lara_croft: Grables'Daughter: WelldeadLink: ms_lara_croft: Is this going to be the thread where nice guys come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?

Nope. Because we nice guys get the girls after they realize the other guy is a jerk.

Some of us will never realize this, sadly.

Then there is the fact that "nice guys" and jerks are the same thing.


Uh, no.  "Nice guys" are not the same as jerks.  "Nice guys" are nice guys who are nice to women and in return don't get sex from them.  They are the designated drivers, willing to pick women up from the airport at the drop of a hat or drive them home from the bar after having a few too many.  They are the guys who constantly feed women compliments they so crave, and the guys who will do manual labor and other chores for the girl when her boyfriend isn't around.  Feminists get angry when "nice guys" complain they aren't getting sex because a "nice guy's" place in society is to be the emotional tampon for women who need their friendship ie., attention.  How dare a "nice guy" ever expect anything more!

Jerks are men, usually decent men who know how to play the field and but called jerks (usually by disgruntled "nice guys") because they get laid without jumping through all the fruitless hoops mentioned above.

There's a difference between "nice guys" and jerks, and it's because women/feminists equate the two that no self-respecting man should ever settle for the "nice guy" role. You and your white-knighted efforts will never be rewarded.
 
2013-04-04 12:09:48 PM

Andromeda: This is going to be the thread where everyone brags about their sexual prowess in college and no one else believes them, right?


Does it count if they all involve new and interesting (at least to me) ways to masturbate? I wonder if that's why I failed the first time...

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: ms_lara_croft: Is this going to be the thread where nice guys come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?

This is the tread where all the guys are going to click on ms_lara_croft's profile because she's a female, and then we shall follow the link to her blog hoping to find naughty pictures, only to be disappointed that instead there are naughty stories, and reading just takes up too much time when all you want is to knock one out quickly before work.


This is why we have smartphones: so we can read erotic stories and fire off knuckle missiles in the bathroom stall. Now, if you'll excuse me, I feel a sudden stirring in my pants.
 
2013-04-04 12:09:55 PM
I dated a bit in the early years, found a girl I liked, and made it exclusive. Eventually, we got married on the fall break of my Junior year.

It's still good almost 17 years later.

/I think college is a perfect time to date around and find a mate... but people are biased towards things that worked for them. Ymmv.
 
2013-04-04 12:12:14 PM

freeforever: "Nice guys" are not the same as jerks.  "Nice guys" are nice guys who are nice to women and in return don't get sex from them... "nice guys" complain they aren't getting sex...  How dare a "nice guy" ever expect anything more!


So, you're saying a "nice guy" is someone who expects sex in exchange for being nice and complains when they don't get what they're owed?  You're right... Jerks are much better.
 
2013-04-04 12:14:52 PM

MyKingdomForYourHorse: unlikely: The trick, then, was figuring out your percentage honestly, so you'd know where to aim.

Also called the 8-2 rule, meaning wherever you are on the scale of 1 to 10, you can reasonably shoot for a two point gap. Meaning if your an 8, you might get a 9 or settle for a 7.

Now us sociopaths like myself however, recognize the power of social manipulation. We realize that humans are pack animals and often influenced by decisions in the group and those decisions are often about competition. For instance, when women go out they often invite their friends however invariably their friends often tend to be people either slightly or some degree less attractive than them. Friendships tend to follow that 8-2 rule as well.

So what do sociopaths do? We manipulate this by shooting not for the 9, but her friend who is an 8 or 7. We ignore the hottest one in the group and invalidate her superiority amongst her group. Essentially we take her down several levels. What this does is elevate that 7 to top of the group and any decision she makes the group follows. So if you talk to the 7 and win her charm, you've almost instantly won the charm of the group.

Does it seal the deal, no but its a chink in the armor of the girls night out groups.


Neat. I watched "A Beautiful Mind" too.
 
2013-04-04 12:15:20 PM

Theaetetus: freeforever: "Nice guys" are not the same as jerks.  "Nice guys" are nice guys who are nice to women and in return don't get sex from them... "nice guys" complain they aren't getting sex...  How dare a "nice guy" ever expect anything more!

So, you're saying a "nice guy" is someone who expects sex in exchange for being nice and complains when they don't get what they're owed?  You're right... Jerks are much better.


Here we go. Don't you have a patent trolling thread to shiat on or something?
 
2013-04-04 12:15:22 PM

Theaetetus: freeforever: "Nice guys" are not the same as jerks.  "Nice guys" are nice guys who are nice to women and in return don't get sex from them... "nice guys" complain they aren't getting sex...  How dare a "nice guy" ever expect anything more!

So, you're saying a "nice guy" is someone who expects sex in exchange for being nice and complains when they don't get what they're owed?  You're right... Jerks are much better.


I think his point is that most women don't aspire to date the help.
 
2013-04-04 12:15:34 PM

KierzanDax: This is why we have smartphones: so we can read erotic stories and fire off knuckle missiles in the bathroom stall. Now, if you'll excuse me, I feel a sudden stirring in my pants.


HR called, they believe your excessive bathroom breaks are disruptive to the work day and are worried about your health. Having to go every fifteen minutes, there surely must be something wrong and they are encouraging you to seek health advice.
 
2013-04-04 12:16:22 PM

reillan: ms_lara_croft: Grables'Daughter: WelldeadLink: ms_lara_croft: Is this going to be the thread where nice guys come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?

Nope. Because we nice guys get the girls after they realize the other guy is a jerk.

Some of us will never realize this, sadly.

Then there is the fact that "nice guys" and jerks are the same thing.

some of us nice guys aren't jerks.  Of course, we're also not likely to bemoan the fact that girls only date jerks, because we'd be jerks for saying that... but still.


Oh, I know. I've met plenty of nice guys who are actually nice guys and they get on with women just fine. It's the "nice guys" who complain that women won't go out with them (i. e., have sex with them) because women supposedly date only jerks. Those "nice guys" have entitlement issues, amongst other things.
 
2013-04-04 12:16:49 PM

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Rapmaster2000: Here's a tip to all the "nice guys". The jerk is honest. You're not.

I practice "Radical Honesty". It got me a ton of dates in college and I think it adds to my happy marriage. It's not that I have some high moral code, it's just I dont have the memory for keeping track of all the lies.


I tell a woman straight-up that the dress makes her look fat.  I answer the question.  I've always been thanked for it.
 
kab
2013-04-04 12:17:42 PM

chasd00: Sensual Tyrannosaurus: Grables'Daughter: I think the article was dead on. It's much easier to just hook up with someone - there are no strings, no complications, just sex.

It seems like such an empty pursuit though.

don't over think it, you're missing the "no complications" part heh


That's just the thing though.  For some folks, it's a pointless endeavor without the "complications".
 
2013-04-04 12:17:55 PM

genepool lifeboat: megarian: genepool lifeboat: megarian: sex AND beer

That's like PB&J!

Wait for it:

Sex, beer, and PB&J.

Messiest sammiches ever.


Bring a tarp!

And it will weed out the peanut allergy people!!

EVERYONE WINS!!!!
 
2013-04-04 12:18:10 PM

Killer Cars: ms_lara_croft: Then there is the fact that "nice guys" and jerks are the same thing.

Yeah, I'd be wary of any dude who would gladly self-identify as a "nice guy". There's plenty of honest-to-goodness nice guys out in the world, but they come in all different shapes, sizes and styles. Then you have the "nice" guys, where "nice" is really code for "attempts to use emotional manipulation to get what they want" and their idea of "nice" is not based in altruism or generosity whatsoever.


You said it better than I did. Dead on right.
 
2013-04-04 12:18:36 PM

Theaetetus: freeforever: "Nice guys" are not the same as jerks.  "Nice guys" are nice guys who are nice to women and in return don't get sex from them... "nice guys" complain they aren't getting sex...  How dare a "nice guy" ever expect anything more!

So, you're saying a "nice guy" is someone who expects sex in exchange for being nice and complains when they don't get what they're owed?  You're right... Jerks are much better.


Yes It's douchey and that's why being a "nice guy" is such a raw deal for the guy.  It's great for the woman; having a second boyfriend without the sex part, but it's bad for the guy.
 
PJ-
2013-04-04 12:18:42 PM
I always laugh at the 'nice guys' who say that women are just biatches because they won't give them a chance.  Well here's an idea superfriend, stop being such a creeper.  Stop being always available for the girl that you want, why would she be willing to plow you when you give her everything she wants/needs and she doesn't have to life a finger.  Honestly, being a nice guy isn't even all that hard, you make it sound like you are lifting the weight of the world by being such a nice guy.  Yes, it's so hard to pretend like you are listening with a smile on your face, while in your head you are undressing her.  Yes, it's so hard to open a door for someone because their hands are full.  I couldn't even imagine how hard it is to go out for lunch once in a while to catch up on things.  Girls want nice guys, but they also don't want a female to date, if they did, they would be a lesbian.  Now, i'm not saying to puff out your chest and try to fight everybody who dares look at your lady friend, but having some confidence really goes a long way.

Life is hard, life is harder when you're dumb, life is next to impossible when you're fugly.
 
2013-04-04 12:20:03 PM

freeforever: Theaetetus: freeforever: "Nice guys" are not the same as jerks.  "Nice guys" are nice guys who are nice to women and in return don't get sex from them... "nice guys" complain they aren't getting sex...  How dare a "nice guy" ever expect anything more!

So, you're saying a "nice guy" is someone who expects sex in exchange for being nice and complains when they don't get what they're owed?  You're right... Jerks are much better.

Yes It's douchey and that's why being a "nice guy" is such a raw deal for the guy.  It's great for the woman; having a second boyfriend without the sex part, but it's bad for the guy.


t.qkme.me
 
2013-04-04 12:21:03 PM

megarian: genepool lifeboat: megarian: genepool lifeboat: megarian: sex AND beer

That's like PB&J!

Wait for it:

Sex, beer, and PB&J.

Messiest sammiches ever.

Bring a tarp!

And it will weed out the peanut allergy people!!

EVERYONE WINS!!!!


You mentioned tarps in another thread.  You know who else liked tarps...

encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
 
2013-04-04 12:21:23 PM

KierzanDax: Andromeda: This is going to be the thread where everyone brags about their sexual prowess in college and no one else believes them, right?

Does it count if they all involve new and interesting (at least to me) ways to masturbate? I wonder if that's why I failed the first time...

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: ms_lara_croft: Is this going to be the thread where nice guys come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?

This is the tread where all the guys are going to click on ms_lara_croft's profile because she's a female, and then we shall follow the link to her blog hoping to find naughty pictures, only to be disappointed that instead there are naughty stories, and reading just takes up too much time when all you want is to knock one out quickly before work.

This is why we have smartphones: so we can read erotic stories and fire off knuckle missiles in the bathroom stall. Now, if you'll excuse me, I feel a sudden stirring in my pants.


"Knuckle missiles". LOL. I've never heard that one before. ;)

I figured that was why so many people rush to the bathroom with their smartphones...
 
2MS
2013-04-04 12:21:30 PM

Grables'Daughter: LeroyBourne: The author should have just thrown it out and said no strings attached sex is easy, but relationships are hard, so lets just discretely bang.

But that's exactly what I got out of the article.


Hey, nice to see you around. You make things more interesting.
 
2013-04-04 12:21:45 PM

Tatterdemalian: Will it help if I come out and say that submitter is supporting all those guys that are responsible for pelting the poor ladies who just want to be respected for their accomplishments with so many bad pickup lines and sexual propositions that it drives them to tears every night?


So stay passive and cowardly?
 
2013-04-04 12:23:18 PM

Rapmaster2000: The Stealth Hippopotamus: Rapmaster2000: Here's a tip to all the "nice guys". The jerk is honest. You're not.

I practice "Radical Honesty". It got me a ton of dates in college and I think it adds to my happy marriage. It's not that I have some high moral code, it's just I dont have the memory for keeping track of all the lies.

I tell a woman straight-up that the dress makes her look fat.  I answer the question.  I've always been thanked for it.


It's the only way to do a long-term relationship. Mrs. Anomaly and I wouldn't have it any other way.
 
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