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(The Atlantic)   America's "hookup culture" isn't a problem, and the reason people aren't having as much promiscuous sex they'd like is because rejection is a big part of romance, especially when you're ugly   (theatlantic.com) divider line 283
    More: PSA, promiscuities, history of human sexuality, suicide rates, Oberlin, Puritanism, Mordor, cultures  
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8249 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Apr 2013 at 11:15 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-04 09:53:31 AM  
This is going to be the thread where everyone brags about their sexual prowess in college and no one else believes them, right?
 
2013-04-04 10:08:01 AM  
A couple roommates and I worked out a theory when we were all undergrads.

If you rate looks on a scale from 1 to 100, everyone I know tries to aim for the 90-100% just by appearance. Generally, the 90-100 chase each other and that all works fine for them, but for the people running around in the 50-60 range, they aim for 95 and get rejected. If you're in the 50-60 range and aim 50-60, you will have a lot more success. Still not complete success; your fellow 50-60s still want their 95s and think they're settling when they get 85s, but you'll have a lot better luck than if  you aim at that top 10%.

The trick, then, was figuring out your percentage honestly, so you'd know where to aim.

It seemed to work for the roomies pretty well. But then they were all 70+. It may have worked for me too, but I already had the girlfriend that I've been with for 15 years now so I have no idea.

/she totally breaks the theory... she's top 10% and I'm somewhere around a 30...
//The theory is only for quick hook-ups; for long term relationships those rules are out the window.
///Looks still allow you to get to the point where personality matters.
 
2013-04-04 10:09:25 AM  

Andromeda: This is going to be the thread where everyone brags about their sexual prowess in college and no one else believes them, right?


No, I expect this thread to look a lot more like this:
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
 
2013-04-04 10:12:20 AM  
Yup.
 
2013-04-04 11:03:34 AM  
Is this going to be the thread where nice guys come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?
 
2013-04-04 11:14:33 AM  
I'm looking forward to CSB's that amend TFA headline to

Romance Always Involves Only Consists of Failure and Despair
 
2013-04-04 11:15:45 AM  
FTFA:  While at school, I dated no one; I didn't even kiss anyone, all through college and beyond...until I met my wife, in fact, in my late 20s.

Studman, is that you???
 
2013-04-04 11:17:00 AM  
Then I guess I'm one romantic mother<censored>
 
2013-04-04 11:17:34 AM  
The Atlantic: apologist for whatever self-destructive behavior is fascinating to the Left at this moment.
 
2013-04-04 11:20:48 AM  

sodomizer: The Atlantic: apologist for whatever self-destructive behavior is fascinating to the Left at this moment.


ATTENTION ALL FARKERS:  THIS THREAD IS NOW A POLITICAL FREE-FOR-ALL.  REPEAT: THIS THREAD IS NOW A POLITICAL FREE-FOR-ALL.  PLEASE COMPORT YOURSELVES ACCORDINGLY.  THANK YOU.
 
2013-04-04 11:21:27 AM  

unlikely: The trick, then, was figuring out your percentage honestly, so you'd know where to aim.


Also called the 8-2 rule, meaning wherever you are on the scale of 1 to 10, you can reasonably shoot for a two point gap. Meaning if your an 8, you might get a 9 or settle for a 7.

Now us sociopaths like myself however, recognize the power of social manipulation. We realize that humans are pack animals and often influenced by decisions in the group and those decisions are often about competition. For instance, when women go out they often invite their friends however invariably their friends often tend to be people either slightly or some degree less attractive than them. Friendships tend to follow that 8-2 rule as well.

So what do sociopaths do? We manipulate this by shooting not for the 9, but her friend who is an 8 or 7. We ignore the hottest one in the group and invalidate her superiority amongst her group. Essentially we take her down several levels. What this does is elevate that 7 to top of the group and any decision she makes the group follows. So if you talk to the 7 and win her charm, you've almost instantly won the charm of the group.

Does it seal the deal, no but its a chink in the armor of the girls night out groups.
 
2013-04-04 11:22:03 AM  
I had tons of sex in college by being a jerk all the time. I had all the sex anyone had on campus, because I would just run around punching nice guys and peeing on women.
 
2013-04-04 11:23:08 AM  

ms_lara_croft: Is this going to be the thread where nice guys come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?


lolfeminist.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-04-04 11:23:13 AM  

ms_lara_croft: Is this going to be the thread where "nice guys" come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?


Fixt
 
2013-04-04 11:23:14 AM  

Andromeda: This is going to be the thread where everyone brags about their sexual prowess in college and no one else believes them, right?


Well, not to brag, but there was this one towel in my dorm room, and...
 
2013-04-04 11:23:24 AM  

Andromeda: This is going to be the thread where everyone brags about their sexual prowess in college and no one else believes them, right?


On the one hand, I would have liked to have sex with more people in college.
On the other hand, I never got the crotch-rot.

Serial monogamy FTW, I guess.
 
2013-04-04 11:23:28 AM  

sodomizer: The Atlantic: apologist for whatever self-destructive behavior is fascinating to the Left at this moment.


Says a Farker named "sodomizer".
 
2013-04-04 11:23:30 AM  
I think the article was dead on. It's much easier to just hook up with someone - there are no strings, no complications, just sex.
 
2013-04-04 11:25:56 AM  

Grables'Daughter: I think the article was dead on. It's much easier to just hook up with someone - there are no strings, no complications, just sex.


... No Amazon wish lists...
 
2013-04-04 11:26:07 AM  

Grables'Daughter: I think the article was dead on. It's much easier to just hook up with someone - there are no strings, no complications, just sex.


Hi... how you soon?
 
2013-04-04 11:26:46 AM  

unlikely: A couple roommates and I worked out a theory when we were all undergrads.

If you rate looks on a scale from 1 to 100, everyone I know tries to aim for the 90-100% just by appearance. Generally, the 90-100 chase each other and that all works fine for them, but for the people running around in the 50-60 range, they aim for 95 and get rejected. If you're in the 50-60 range and aim 50-60, you will have a lot more success. Still not complete success; your fellow 50-60s still want their 95s and think they're settling when they get 85s, but you'll have a lot better luck than if  you aim at that top 10%.

The trick, then, was figuring out your percentage honestly, so you'd know where to aim.

It seemed to work for the roomies pretty well. But then they were all 70+. It may have worked for me too, but I already had the girlfriend that I've been with for 15 years now so I have no idea.

/she totally breaks the theory... she's top 10% and I'm somewhere around a 30...
//The theory is only for quick hook-ups; for long term relationships those rules are out the window.
///Looks still allow you to get to the point where personality matters.


way back when The Cult of the Dead Cow released a girl hacking howto, I followed it and did pretty well. One of the more odd things that happened to me was I got really involved in a band's fan forum to the point the band made me a moderator. It was amazing how many girls hooked up with me just because of my reputation on that forum.
 
2013-04-04 11:26:49 AM  

ms_lara_croft: Is this going to be the thread where nice guys come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?


This is the tread where all the guys are going to click on ms_lara_croft's profile because she's a female, and then we shall follow the link to her blog hoping to find naughty pictures, only to be disappointed that instead there are naughty stories, and reading just takes up too much time when all you want is to knock one out quickly before work.
 
2013-04-04 11:29:08 AM  

Grables'Daughter: I think the article was dead on. It's much easier to just hook up with someone - there are no strings, no complications, just sex.


Hey GD, long time no see. You are missed.
 
2013-04-04 11:30:13 AM  

Krieghund: Andromeda: This is going to be the thread where everyone brags about their sexual prowess in college and no one else believes them, right?

On the one hand, I would have liked to have sex with more people in college.
On the other hand, I never got the crotch-rot.

Serial monogamy FTW, I guess.


Well at least you got to use both hands. That's almost like having sex with two different people.
 
2013-04-04 11:30:21 AM  

meat0918: sodomizer: The Atlantic: apologist for whatever self-destructive behavior is fascinating to the Left at this moment.

Says a Farker named "sodomizer".


i think most people have him on ignore...

sodomizer = his goal is to ass fark every thread he posts in...
 
2013-04-04 11:31:11 AM  
Didn't you get the memo? Sexual revolutions are for attractive people.
 
2013-04-04 11:31:20 AM  

Grables'Daughter: I think the article was dead on. It's much easier to just hook up with someone - there are no strings, no complications, just sex.


It seems like such an empty pursuit though.
 
2013-04-04 11:31:57 AM  
The reason people aren't having as much promiscuous sex as they'd like is the age-old "prison sex" joke:   The sex you want, you can't get.  The sex you can get, you don't want.
 
2013-04-04 11:32:19 AM  
Abe Vigoda's Ghost: Grables'Daughter: I think the article was dead on. It's much easier to just hook up with someone - there are no strings, no complications, just sex.

Hey GD, long time no see. You are missed.


Thank you for that.
 
2013-04-04 11:32:31 AM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: ms_lara_croft: Is this going to be the thread where nice guys come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?

This is the tread where all the guys are going to click on ms_lara_croft's profile because she's a female, and then we shall follow the link to her blog hoping to find naughty pictures, only to be disappointed that instead there are naughty stories, and reading just takes up too much time when all you want is to knock one out quickly before work.


See, that's what I was doing wrong... I should have done that before going to work,
 
2013-04-04 11:32:54 AM  
Sensual Tyrannosaurus: Grables'Daughter: I think the article was dead on. It's much easier to just hook up with someone - there are no strings, no complications, just sex.

It seems like such an empty pursuit though.


Doesn't matter, had sex.
 
2013-04-04 11:33:24 AM  

Sensual Tyrannosaurus: Grables'Daughter: I think the article was dead on. It's much easier to just hook up with someone - there are no strings, no complications, just sex.

It seems like such an empty pursuit though.


don't over think it, you're missing the "no complications" part heh
 
2013-04-04 11:34:10 AM  

Sensual Tyrannosaurus: It seems like such an empty pursuit though.


It is

A satisfying empty pursuit, but empty nonetheless.
 
2013-04-04 11:34:24 AM  

Sensual Tyrannosaurus: Grables'Daughter: I think the article was dead on. It's much easier to just hook up with someone - there are no strings, no complications, just sex.

It seems like such an empty pursuit though.


Surprising comment from a Tyrannosaurus...
i.imgur.com
 
2013-04-04 11:35:08 AM  
chasd00: Sensual Tyrannosaurus: Grables'Daughter: I think the article was dead on. It's much easier to just hook up with someone - there are no strings, no complications, just sex.

It seems like such an empty pursuit though.

don't over think it, you're missing the "no complications" part heh


THIS.
 
2013-04-04 11:35:13 AM  

ms_lara_croft: Is this going to be the thread where nice guys come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?


Nope. Because we nice guys get the girls after they realize the other guy is a jerk.
 
2013-04-04 11:36:55 AM  
Is anybody really 'too ugly' to fark? Couldn't you just turn out the lights? Go in doggystyle with no eye contact. Couldn't a foot fetish just stick his junk between a fugly girl's soles? I know there "fat" per se, but I'm not talking talking about poking your wiener in the folds of her skin.  Perhaps fry some bacon to get you 'in the mood' if she's got fried egg tits. You don't have enough game to talk her into a farking latex hood or a Nixon mask for chrisakes? And what about the butt? I mean, even if it's all pimply you could play connect the dots, or pretend your a blind guy reading braille while you drive up the Hershey Highway ... you know, getting off on the Poop-Chute Route. Too ugly, I say? Why do you think God invented drugs and booze? Why I'll bet an epileptic girl or a shaky Parkinson's patient would be more fun than a sack full of kittens.
Even an amputee can make a crease.
 
2013-04-04 11:38:29 AM  
WelldeadLink: ms_lara_croft: Is this going to be the thread where nice guys come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?

Nope. Because we nice guys get the girls after they realize the other guy is a jerk.


Some of us will never realize this, sadly.
 
2013-04-04 11:39:12 AM  
DNRTFA, but I can still get drunk and fark biatches, right?

Because I really don't want to buy cable.
 
2013-04-04 11:39:35 AM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: ms_lara_croft: Is this going to be the thread where nice guys come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?

This is the tread where all the guys are going to click on ms_lara_croft's profile because she's a female, and then we shall follow the link to her blog hoping to find naughty pictures, only to be disappointed that instead there are naughty stories, and reading just takes up too much time when all you want is to knock one out quickly before work.


LOL but they clicked. Just skip to the naughty bits. You can still knock one out quickly before work.
 
2013-04-04 11:40:46 AM  

chasd00: Sensual Tyrannosaurus: Grables'Daughter: I think the article was dead on. It's much easier to just hook up with someone - there are no strings, no complications, just sex.

It seems like such an empty pursuit though.

don't over think it, you're missing the "no complications" part heh


I suppose so. I'm a very, shall we say, emotionally withdrawn person. I'm not one to express myself (mentally or physically) to someone I don't know very well. The whole concept of casual relations and hook ups is weird to me.
 
2013-04-04 11:40:52 AM  

BSABSVR: ms_lara_croft: Is this going to be the thread where "nice guys" come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?

Fixt


I was wondering when someone would put "nice guys" in scare quotes, since I didn't do it. :)
 
2013-04-04 11:40:57 AM  
megarian: Because I really don't want to buy cable.

wat
 
2013-04-04 11:41:50 AM  

Dahnkster: Is anybody really 'too ugly' to fark? Couldn't you just turn out the lights? Go in doggystyle with no eye contact. Couldn't a foot fetish just stick his junk between a fugly girl's soles? I know there "fat" per se, but I'm not talking talking about poking your wiener in the folds of her skin.  Perhaps fry some bacon to get you 'in the mood' if she's got fried egg tits. You don't have enough game to talk her into a farking latex hood or a Nixon mask for chrisakes? And what about the butt? I mean, even if it's all pimply you could play connect the dots, or pretend your a blind guy reading braille while you drive up the Hershey Highway ... you know, getting off on the Poop-Chute Route. Too ugly, I say? Why do you think God invented drugs and booze? Why I'll bet an epileptic girl or a shaky Parkinson's patient would be more fun than a sack full of kittens.
Even an amputee can make a crease.


That was beautiful.
 
2013-04-04 11:42:06 AM  
The idea that there's a universal scale of human attractiveness is still bunk, has always been.  You can say all you want about a built upper body, jawline, etc. (men) or hip width, bust, etc. (women) with regard to evolutionary biology and be right but still miss the point.  People just have preferences, and they're all unique and strange.

I still find myself oddly aroused by women with relatively poor posture because I have been in love with someone who slouched a bit.  This is the kind of thing I'm talking about.The guy has a point, though.  If you're unfulfilled, you're unfulfilled.  It doesn't matter if that's so because you are a 40-year-old virgin, or because you've been heartlessly banging away at a new 20-something every week since you hit puberty.  If it isn't meaningful to you, you're going to fill up with poison, bile, bitterness and frustration either way.  And there's probably a lot of middle-of-the-road between those two that seems pretty normative, outwardly, that can still lead to the same thing, depending on the person and their needs.It really does boil down to 'Know Thyself'.  Much more than that is too sweeping of a generalization, I think.  Good thing most of us, myself included, are so damned pathologically bad at doing that...
 
2013-04-04 11:42:07 AM  

Grables'Daughter: WelldeadLink: ms_lara_croft: Is this going to be the thread where nice guys come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?

Nope. Because we nice guys get the girls after they realize the other guy is a jerk.

Some of us will never realize this, sadly.


Then there is the fact that "nice guys" and jerks are the same thing.
 
2013-04-04 11:43:49 AM  
So I was supposed to regret college? I can't understand the articles on hook up culture. I didn't get rejected enough, so apparently I played conservatively.
 
2013-04-04 11:44:54 AM  
As if to illustrate my point, I have the sudden urge to delete my posts and immediately regret even posting them.
 
2013-04-04 11:46:08 AM  
David Heatley went to Oberlin around when I did, and screwed everything that moved, according to his comics memoir My Sexual History. That Oberlin wasn't my Oberlin, though.  While at school, I dated no one; I didn't even kiss anyone, all through college and beyond...until I met my wife, in fact, in my late 20s.

If it makes you feel better, I'm pretty sure most of the girls at Oberlin are lesbians until they graduate and start dating the son of their father's dentistry partner.
 
2013-04-04 11:46:35 AM  

ms_lara_croft: Grables'Daughter: WelldeadLink: ms_lara_croft: Is this going to be the thread where nice guys come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?

Nope. Because we nice guys get the girls after they realize the other guy is a jerk.

Some of us will never realize this, sadly.

Then there is the fact that "nice guys" and jerks are the same thing.


some of us nice guys aren't jerks.  Of course, we're also not likely to bemoan the fact that girls only date jerks, because we'd be jerks for saying that... but still.
 
2013-04-04 11:47:11 AM  

Sensual Tyrannosaurus: As if to illustrate my point, I have the sudden urge to delete my posts and immediately regret even posting them.


Everyone needs to do a 2am "post" in a bar every once in awhile. Get the mojo back and whatnot
 
2013-04-04 11:47:50 AM  
The author should have just thrown it out and said no strings attached sex is easy, but relationships are hard, so lets just discretely bang.
 
2013-04-04 11:47:56 AM  

Rapmaster2000: David Heatley went to Oberlin around when I did, and screwed everything that moved, according to his comics memoir My Sexual History. That Oberlin wasn't my Oberlin, though.  While at school, I dated no one; I didn't even kiss anyone, all through college and beyond...until I met my wife, in fact, in my late 20s.

If it makes you feel better, I'm pretty sure most of the girls at Oberlin are lesbians until they graduate and start dating the son of their father's dentistry partner.


I read "Oberon" and got excited for a sex AND beer thread.

Goddamnitsomuch.
 
2013-04-04 11:48:36 AM  

thecpt: So I was supposed to regret college? I can't understand the articles on hook up culture. I didn't get rejected enough, so apparently I played conservatively.


I didn't play conservatively...because I think this helped a lot.

apexagent.com
 
2013-04-04 11:49:44 AM  

ms_lara_croft: Then there is the fact that "nice guys" and jerks are the same thing.


Yeah, I'd be wary of any dude who would gladly self-identify as a "nice guy". There's plenty of honest-to-goodness nice guys out in the world, but they come in all different shapes, sizes and styles. Then you have the "nice" guys, where "nice" is really code for "attempts to use emotional manipulation to get what they want" and their idea of "nice" is not based in altruism or generosity whatsoever.
 
2013-04-04 11:50:26 AM  
Of course, it's funny now; I've been married 13 years, thank you, and the field no longer matters.

Thank you for letting me know right at the start that this article is a load of BS you pulled out for the deadline.
 
2013-04-04 11:51:12 AM  
LeroyBourne: The author should have just thrown it out and said no strings attached sex is easy, but relationships are hard, so lets just discretely bang.

But that's exactly what I got out of the article.
 
2013-04-04 11:51:25 AM  

Theaetetus: Grables'Daughter: I think the article was dead on. It's much easier to just hook up with someone - there are no strings, no complications, just sex.

... No Amazon wish lists...


www.iloveblackmovies.com
 
2013-04-04 11:51:34 AM  

Killer Cars: ms_lara_croft: Then there is the fact that "nice guys" and jerks are the same thing.

Yeah, I'd be wary of any dude who would gladly self-identify as a "nice guy". There's plenty of honest-to-goodness nice guys out in the world, but they come in all different shapes, sizes and styles. Then you have the "nice" guys, where "nice" is really code for "attempts to use emotional manipulation to get what they want" and their idea of "nice" is not based in altruism or generosity whatsoever.


THIS!!!!
 
2013-04-04 11:52:10 AM  

blatz514: thecpt: So I was supposed to regret college? I can't understand the articles on hook up culture. I didn't get rejected enough, so apparently I played conservatively.

I didn't play conservatively...because I think this helped a lot.


Social lubricant only went so far for me. Then again what I find attractive isn't all looks and hate the fake look, plus my undergrad was only like 2500 students. Not many to strike out against
 
2013-04-04 11:52:53 AM  

Theaetetus: ms_lara_croft: Is this going to be the thread where nice guys come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?

[lolfeminist.files.wordpress.com image 300x300]


That's marvelous.
 
2013-04-04 11:53:13 AM  
Of course, it's funny now; I've been married 13 years, thank you, and the field no longer matters. But that doesn't quite change the fact that I was in that field for a long time, and it was bleak and grim and blasted with pits of despair-a kind of Mordor of interpersonal inadequacy.

He sounds ugly.
 
2013-04-04 11:54:22 AM  
I blame John Hughes. His movies ruined a generation of young men by giving them unrealistically high expectations about teenage romance.
 
2013-04-04 11:55:06 AM  
Guys who are actually nice don't have to go around whining that they're nice guys.

As for bad guys, well you know how we're always saying, "Don't stick your dick in crazy?" Well ladies, don't let crazy stick it to you.
 
2013-04-04 11:55:08 AM  

thecpt: blatz514: thecpt: So I was supposed to regret college? I can't understand the articles on hook up culture. I didn't get rejected enough, so apparently I played conservatively.

I didn't play conservatively...because I think this helped a lot.

Social lubricant only went so far for me. Then again what I find attractive isn't all looks and hate the fake look, plus my undergrad was only like 2500 students. Not many to strike out against


Didn't have a whole lot of morals in college.  Went out, partied with drunk girls and the rest wrote itself.
 
2013-04-04 11:55:12 AM  

Killer Cars: ms_lara_croft: Then there is the fact that "nice guys" and jerks are the same thing.

Yeah, I'd be wary of any dude who would gladly self-identify as a "nice guy". There's plenty of honest-to-goodness nice guys out in the world, but they come in all different shapes, sizes and styles. Then you have the "nice" guys, where "nice" is really code for "attempts to use emotional manipulation to get what they want" and their idea of "nice" is not based in altruism or generosity whatsoever.


Here's a tip to all the "nice guys".  The jerk is honest.  You're not.
 
2013-04-04 11:56:38 AM  

Grables'Daughter: LeroyBourne: The author should have just thrown it out and said no strings attached sex is easy, but relationships are hard, so lets just discretely bang.

But that's exactly what I got out of the article.


Writing a meaningful and well researched piece on a complex and potentially controversial topic is hard, so lets push this fluff out the door and see if it gets some hits.
 
2013-04-04 11:56:42 AM  

blatz514: thecpt: blatz514: thecpt: So I was supposed to regret college? I can't understand the articles on hook up culture. I didn't get rejected enough, so apparently I played conservatively.

I didn't play conservatively...because I think this helped a lot.

Social lubricant only went so far for me. Then again what I find attractive isn't all looks and hate the fake look, plus my undergrad was only like 2500 students. Not many to strike out against

Didn't have a whole lot of morals in college.  Went out, partied with drunk girls and the rest wrote itself.


Alright, bro fist
 
2013-04-04 11:56:48 AM  

Dahnkster: Is anybody really 'too ugly' to fark? Couldn't you just turn out the lights? Go in doggystyle with no eye contact. Couldn't a foot fetish just stick his junk between a fugly girl's soles? I know there "fat" per se, but I'm not talking talking about poking your wiener in the folds of her skin.  Perhaps fry some bacon to get you 'in the mood' if she's got fried egg tits. You don't have enough game to talk her into a farking latex hood or a Nixon mask for chrisakes? And what about the butt? I mean, even if it's all pimply you could play connect the dots, or pretend your a blind guy reading braille while you drive up the Hershey Highway ... you know, getting off on the Poop-Chute Route. Too ugly, I say? Why do you think God invented drugs and booze? Why I'll bet an epileptic girl or a shaky Parkinson's patient would be more fun than a sack full of kittens.
Even an amputee can make a crease.


[weirdestboner.jpg]
 
2013-04-04 11:56:51 AM  
No more causual sex man...Nooooooooo casual sex.


Kid C and the C's
 
2013-04-04 12:00:06 PM  

Rapmaster2000: Theaetetus: ms_lara_croft: Is this going to be the thread where nice guys come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?

[lolfeminist.files.wordpress.com image 300x300]

That's marvelous.


lesquestionscomposent.fr
 
2013-04-04 12:01:56 PM  
Is it just me, or does everyone else spend way too much time thinking about what goes on below the waist?  Sex every once in awhile keeps me level-headed and the rest of the time I got better things to worry about.
 
2013-04-04 12:02:04 PM  

ms_lara_croft: Is this going to be the thread where nice guys come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?


Will it help if I come out and say that submitter is supporting all those guys that are responsible for pelting the poor ladies who just want to be respected for their accomplishments with so many bad pickup lines and sexual propositions that it drives them to tears every night?

/yes, most guys do that whole "rudely proposition a hundred hot chicks every day, and eventually one will say yes" thing that seems so creepy when you're on the receiving end
//they're the guys that aren't scared of rejection, in other words, the "real men" who women keep wondering why they never meet any
///21st century relationship thing, you know
 
2013-04-04 12:02:42 PM  

megarian: sex AND beer


That's like PB&J!
 
2013-04-04 12:03:20 PM  

Rapmaster2000: Killer Cars: ms_lara_croft: Then there is the fact that "nice guys" and jerks are the same thing.

Yeah, I'd be wary of any dude who would gladly self-identify as a "nice guy". There's plenty of honest-to-goodness nice guys out in the world, but they come in all different shapes, sizes and styles. Then you have the "nice" guys, where "nice" is really code for "attempts to use emotional manipulation to get what they want" and their idea of "nice" is not based in altruism or generosity whatsoever.

Here's a tip to all the "nice guys".  The jerk is honest.  You're not.


Here's another tip(s): get a good haircut, shave, take a shower and get some decent clothes.

Also, stop confusing "nice" and "creepy."
 
2013-04-04 12:06:02 PM  

Rapmaster2000: Here's a tip to all the "nice guys". The jerk is honest. You're not.


I practice "Radical Honesty". It got me a ton of dates in college and I think it adds to my happy marriage. It's not that I have some high moral code, it's just I dont have the memory for keeping track of all the lies.
 
2013-04-04 12:06:06 PM  

genepool lifeboat: megarian: sex AND beer

That's like PB&J!


Wait for it:

Sex, beer, and PB&J.
 
2013-04-04 12:07:08 PM  

ms_lara_croft: Is this going to be the thread where nice guys come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?


Nope. This is the thread where fat, homely women let it be known that they are women in an attempt to attention whore to nerds since men won't pay any attention to them in the real world.
 
2013-04-04 12:07:09 PM  

megarian: genepool lifeboat: megarian: sex AND beer

That's like PB&J!

Wait for it:

Sex, beer, and PB&J.


Messiest sammiches ever.
 
2013-04-04 12:07:19 PM  

ms_lara_croft: Grables'Daughter: WelldeadLink: ms_lara_croft: Is this going to be the thread where nice guys come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?

Nope. Because we nice guys get the girls after they realize the other guy is a jerk.

Some of us will never realize this, sadly.

Then there is the fact that "nice guys" and jerks are the same thing.


Uh, no.  "Nice guys" are not the same as jerks.  "Nice guys" are nice guys who are nice to women and in return don't get sex from them.  They are the designated drivers, willing to pick women up from the airport at the drop of a hat or drive them home from the bar after having a few too many.  They are the guys who constantly feed women compliments they so crave, and the guys who will do manual labor and other chores for the girl when her boyfriend isn't around.  Feminists get angry when "nice guys" complain they aren't getting sex because a "nice guy's" place in society is to be the emotional tampon for women who need their friendship ie., attention.  How dare a "nice guy" ever expect anything more!

Jerks are men, usually decent men who know how to play the field and but called jerks (usually by disgruntled "nice guys") because they get laid without jumping through all the fruitless hoops mentioned above.

There's a difference between "nice guys" and jerks, and it's because women/feminists equate the two that no self-respecting man should ever settle for the "nice guy" role. You and your white-knighted efforts will never be rewarded.
 
2013-04-04 12:09:48 PM  

Andromeda: This is going to be the thread where everyone brags about their sexual prowess in college and no one else believes them, right?


Does it count if they all involve new and interesting (at least to me) ways to masturbate? I wonder if that's why I failed the first time...

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: ms_lara_croft: Is this going to be the thread where nice guys come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?

This is the tread where all the guys are going to click on ms_lara_croft's profile because she's a female, and then we shall follow the link to her blog hoping to find naughty pictures, only to be disappointed that instead there are naughty stories, and reading just takes up too much time when all you want is to knock one out quickly before work.


This is why we have smartphones: so we can read erotic stories and fire off knuckle missiles in the bathroom stall. Now, if you'll excuse me, I feel a sudden stirring in my pants.
 
2013-04-04 12:09:55 PM  
I dated a bit in the early years, found a girl I liked, and made it exclusive. Eventually, we got married on the fall break of my Junior year.

It's still good almost 17 years later.

/I think college is a perfect time to date around and find a mate... but people are biased towards things that worked for them. Ymmv.
 
2013-04-04 12:12:14 PM  

freeforever: "Nice guys" are not the same as jerks.  "Nice guys" are nice guys who are nice to women and in return don't get sex from them... "nice guys" complain they aren't getting sex...  How dare a "nice guy" ever expect anything more!


So, you're saying a "nice guy" is someone who expects sex in exchange for being nice and complains when they don't get what they're owed?  You're right... Jerks are much better.
 
2013-04-04 12:14:52 PM  

MyKingdomForYourHorse: unlikely: The trick, then, was figuring out your percentage honestly, so you'd know where to aim.

Also called the 8-2 rule, meaning wherever you are on the scale of 1 to 10, you can reasonably shoot for a two point gap. Meaning if your an 8, you might get a 9 or settle for a 7.

Now us sociopaths like myself however, recognize the power of social manipulation. We realize that humans are pack animals and often influenced by decisions in the group and those decisions are often about competition. For instance, when women go out they often invite their friends however invariably their friends often tend to be people either slightly or some degree less attractive than them. Friendships tend to follow that 8-2 rule as well.

So what do sociopaths do? We manipulate this by shooting not for the 9, but her friend who is an 8 or 7. We ignore the hottest one in the group and invalidate her superiority amongst her group. Essentially we take her down several levels. What this does is elevate that 7 to top of the group and any decision she makes the group follows. So if you talk to the 7 and win her charm, you've almost instantly won the charm of the group.

Does it seal the deal, no but its a chink in the armor of the girls night out groups.


Neat. I watched "A Beautiful Mind" too.
 
2013-04-04 12:15:20 PM  

Theaetetus: freeforever: "Nice guys" are not the same as jerks.  "Nice guys" are nice guys who are nice to women and in return don't get sex from them... "nice guys" complain they aren't getting sex...  How dare a "nice guy" ever expect anything more!

So, you're saying a "nice guy" is someone who expects sex in exchange for being nice and complains when they don't get what they're owed?  You're right... Jerks are much better.


Here we go. Don't you have a patent trolling thread to shiat on or something?
 
2013-04-04 12:15:22 PM  

Theaetetus: freeforever: "Nice guys" are not the same as jerks.  "Nice guys" are nice guys who are nice to women and in return don't get sex from them... "nice guys" complain they aren't getting sex...  How dare a "nice guy" ever expect anything more!

So, you're saying a "nice guy" is someone who expects sex in exchange for being nice and complains when they don't get what they're owed?  You're right... Jerks are much better.


I think his point is that most women don't aspire to date the help.
 
2013-04-04 12:15:34 PM  

KierzanDax: This is why we have smartphones: so we can read erotic stories and fire off knuckle missiles in the bathroom stall. Now, if you'll excuse me, I feel a sudden stirring in my pants.


HR called, they believe your excessive bathroom breaks are disruptive to the work day and are worried about your health. Having to go every fifteen minutes, there surely must be something wrong and they are encouraging you to seek health advice.
 
2013-04-04 12:16:22 PM  

reillan: ms_lara_croft: Grables'Daughter: WelldeadLink: ms_lara_croft: Is this going to be the thread where nice guys come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?

Nope. Because we nice guys get the girls after they realize the other guy is a jerk.

Some of us will never realize this, sadly.

Then there is the fact that "nice guys" and jerks are the same thing.

some of us nice guys aren't jerks.  Of course, we're also not likely to bemoan the fact that girls only date jerks, because we'd be jerks for saying that... but still.


Oh, I know. I've met plenty of nice guys who are actually nice guys and they get on with women just fine. It's the "nice guys" who complain that women won't go out with them (i. e., have sex with them) because women supposedly date only jerks. Those "nice guys" have entitlement issues, amongst other things.
 
2013-04-04 12:16:49 PM  

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Rapmaster2000: Here's a tip to all the "nice guys". The jerk is honest. You're not.

I practice "Radical Honesty". It got me a ton of dates in college and I think it adds to my happy marriage. It's not that I have some high moral code, it's just I dont have the memory for keeping track of all the lies.


I tell a woman straight-up that the dress makes her look fat.  I answer the question.  I've always been thanked for it.
 
kab
2013-04-04 12:17:42 PM  

chasd00: Sensual Tyrannosaurus: Grables'Daughter: I think the article was dead on. It's much easier to just hook up with someone - there are no strings, no complications, just sex.

It seems like such an empty pursuit though.

don't over think it, you're missing the "no complications" part heh


That's just the thing though.  For some folks, it's a pointless endeavor without the "complications".
 
2013-04-04 12:17:55 PM  

genepool lifeboat: megarian: genepool lifeboat: megarian: sex AND beer

That's like PB&J!

Wait for it:

Sex, beer, and PB&J.

Messiest sammiches ever.


Bring a tarp!

And it will weed out the peanut allergy people!!

EVERYONE WINS!!!!
 
2013-04-04 12:18:10 PM  

Killer Cars: ms_lara_croft: Then there is the fact that "nice guys" and jerks are the same thing.

Yeah, I'd be wary of any dude who would gladly self-identify as a "nice guy". There's plenty of honest-to-goodness nice guys out in the world, but they come in all different shapes, sizes and styles. Then you have the "nice" guys, where "nice" is really code for "attempts to use emotional manipulation to get what they want" and their idea of "nice" is not based in altruism or generosity whatsoever.


You said it better than I did. Dead on right.
 
2013-04-04 12:18:36 PM  

Theaetetus: freeforever: "Nice guys" are not the same as jerks.  "Nice guys" are nice guys who are nice to women and in return don't get sex from them... "nice guys" complain they aren't getting sex...  How dare a "nice guy" ever expect anything more!

So, you're saying a "nice guy" is someone who expects sex in exchange for being nice and complains when they don't get what they're owed?  You're right... Jerks are much better.


Yes It's douchey and that's why being a "nice guy" is such a raw deal for the guy.  It's great for the woman; having a second boyfriend without the sex part, but it's bad for the guy.
 
PJ-
2013-04-04 12:18:42 PM  
I always laugh at the 'nice guys' who say that women are just biatches because they won't give them a chance.  Well here's an idea superfriend, stop being such a creeper.  Stop being always available for the girl that you want, why would she be willing to plow you when you give her everything she wants/needs and she doesn't have to life a finger.  Honestly, being a nice guy isn't even all that hard, you make it sound like you are lifting the weight of the world by being such a nice guy.  Yes, it's so hard to pretend like you are listening with a smile on your face, while in your head you are undressing her.  Yes, it's so hard to open a door for someone because their hands are full.  I couldn't even imagine how hard it is to go out for lunch once in a while to catch up on things.  Girls want nice guys, but they also don't want a female to date, if they did, they would be a lesbian.  Now, i'm not saying to puff out your chest and try to fight everybody who dares look at your lady friend, but having some confidence really goes a long way.

Life is hard, life is harder when you're dumb, life is next to impossible when you're fugly.
 
2013-04-04 12:20:03 PM  

freeforever: Theaetetus: freeforever: "Nice guys" are not the same as jerks.  "Nice guys" are nice guys who are nice to women and in return don't get sex from them... "nice guys" complain they aren't getting sex...  How dare a "nice guy" ever expect anything more!

So, you're saying a "nice guy" is someone who expects sex in exchange for being nice and complains when they don't get what they're owed?  You're right... Jerks are much better.

Yes It's douchey and that's why being a "nice guy" is such a raw deal for the guy.  It's great for the woman; having a second boyfriend without the sex part, but it's bad for the guy.


t.qkme.me
 
2013-04-04 12:21:03 PM  

megarian: genepool lifeboat: megarian: genepool lifeboat: megarian: sex AND beer

That's like PB&J!

Wait for it:

Sex, beer, and PB&J.

Messiest sammiches ever.

Bring a tarp!

And it will weed out the peanut allergy people!!

EVERYONE WINS!!!!


You mentioned tarps in another thread.  You know who else liked tarps...

encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
 
2013-04-04 12:21:23 PM  

KierzanDax: Andromeda: This is going to be the thread where everyone brags about their sexual prowess in college and no one else believes them, right?

Does it count if they all involve new and interesting (at least to me) ways to masturbate? I wonder if that's why I failed the first time...

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: ms_lara_croft: Is this going to be the thread where nice guys come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?

This is the tread where all the guys are going to click on ms_lara_croft's profile because she's a female, and then we shall follow the link to her blog hoping to find naughty pictures, only to be disappointed that instead there are naughty stories, and reading just takes up too much time when all you want is to knock one out quickly before work.

This is why we have smartphones: so we can read erotic stories and fire off knuckle missiles in the bathroom stall. Now, if you'll excuse me, I feel a sudden stirring in my pants.


"Knuckle missiles". LOL. I've never heard that one before. ;)

I figured that was why so many people rush to the bathroom with their smartphones...
 
2MS
2013-04-04 12:21:30 PM  

Grables'Daughter: LeroyBourne: The author should have just thrown it out and said no strings attached sex is easy, but relationships are hard, so lets just discretely bang.

But that's exactly what I got out of the article.


Hey, nice to see you around. You make things more interesting.
 
2013-04-04 12:21:45 PM  

Tatterdemalian: Will it help if I come out and say that submitter is supporting all those guys that are responsible for pelting the poor ladies who just want to be respected for their accomplishments with so many bad pickup lines and sexual propositions that it drives them to tears every night?


So stay passive and cowardly?
 
2013-04-04 12:23:18 PM  

Rapmaster2000: The Stealth Hippopotamus: Rapmaster2000: Here's a tip to all the "nice guys". The jerk is honest. You're not.

I practice "Radical Honesty". It got me a ton of dates in college and I think it adds to my happy marriage. It's not that I have some high moral code, it's just I dont have the memory for keeping track of all the lies.

I tell a woman straight-up that the dress makes her look fat.  I answer the question.  I've always been thanked for it.


It's the only way to do a long-term relationship. Mrs. Anomaly and I wouldn't have it any other way.
 
2013-04-04 12:25:12 PM  

genepool lifeboat: megarian: genepool lifeboat: megarian: genepool lifeboat: megarian: sex AND beer

That's like PB&J!

Wait for it:

Sex, beer, and PB&J.

Messiest sammiches ever.

Bring a tarp!

And it will weed out the peanut allergy people!!

EVERYONE WINS!!!!

You mentioned tarps in another thread.  You know who else liked tarps...


That's why I mentioned it again;)

And I laughed really hard at that image and scared the residence in the mental home I work at. Oops. TIME FOR MEDS EVERYONE!
 
2013-04-04 12:25:25 PM  
Well, I'm a nice guy but I try to suppress it by drinking a shiat ton.
 
2013-04-04 12:26:20 PM  

Magnanimous_J: Tatterdemalian: Will it help if I come out and say that submitter is supporting all those guys that are responsible for pelting the poor ladies who just want to be respected for their accomplishments with so many bad pickup lines and sexual propositions that it drives them to tears every night?

So stay passive and cowardly?


Don't mind if I do.

/not all that good at it
//but I've been at it so long, I can't even think of a reason to quit any more
 
2013-04-04 12:26:47 PM  

Grables'Daughter: WelldeadLink: ms_lara_croft: Is this going to be the thread where nice guys come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?

Nope. Because we nice guys get the girls after they realize the other guy is a jerk.

Some of us will never realize this, sadly.


Some of us are still waiting for this to ever actually happen.

:`(
 
2013-04-04 12:26:50 PM  

megarian: And I laughed really hard at that image and scared the residence in the mental home I work at.


And that would be why your text comes up pink.
 
2013-04-04 12:28:29 PM  
The best article ever written on the subject of Nice Guys:

But If We Started Dating It Would Ruin Our Friendship Where I Ask You To Do Things And You Do Them

I really like you. I do. You're so nice, and sweet, and you listen to all my problems and respond with the appropriate compliments. But, well, I don't really see a relationship in our future. It would be terrible if we let sex destroy this great friendship we have where I get everything I want and you get nothing you want. Don't you think?

I knew you would understand. You always do.

We're so perfect as friends, you know? I can tell you anything, and you know you can always come to me anytime you need to hear me biatch about work or how ugly I feel. You wouldn't want to ruin a friendship like that just so you could be my boyfriend, and have me look at you with desire and longing in my eyes, if only once-would you? Of course not. Well, if we started dating, it would only complicate this wonderful setup I've got going here.

It's just...you're like my best friend, and I would hate for something you desperately want to change that. I mean, sure, we could go on some dates, maybe mess around a little and finally validate the six years you've spent languishing in this platonic nightmare, but then what? How could we ever go back to the way we were, where I take advantage of your clear attraction to me so I can have someone at my beck and call? That part of our friendship means so much to me.

No. We are just destined to be really, really good friends who only hang out when I don't have a boyfriend, but still need male attention to boost my fragile and all-consuming ego.

Anything can happen once you bring romance in. Think about how awful my last relationship was at the end, remember? The guy I'd call you crying about at 3 a.m. because he wouldn't answer my texts? The guy I met at the birthday party you threw me? I had insanely passionate sex with him for four months and now we don't even talk anymore. God, I would die if something like that happened to us.

Plus, ick, can you even imagine getting naked in front of each other? I've known you so long, you're more like a brother that I've drunkenly made out with twice and never mentioned again. It'd be way too weird. And if we did, then whenever you'd come shopping with me, or go to one of my performances or charity events, or take me for ice cream when I've had a bad day at work, you'd be looking at me like, "I've seen her breasts." God, I can't think of anything more awkward that that.
Oh, before I forget, my mom says hi.

Anyway, you would totally hate me as your girlfriend. I'd be all needy and dramatic and slowly growing to love you. If I was your girlfriend, I would never be able to tell you all about the other asshole guys I date and pretend I don't see how much it crushes you. Let's never lose that. That's what makes us us.

Don't worry. You're so funny and smart and amazing, any girl but me would be lucky to date you. You'll find someone, I know it. And when you do, I'll be right by your side to suddenly become all flirty and affectionate with you in front of her, until she grows jealous and won't believe it when you say we're just friends. But when she dumps you, that's just what we'll be.
 
2013-04-04 12:29:39 PM  

Phins: Rapmaster2000: Killer Cars: ms_lara_croft: Then there is the fact that "nice guys" and jerks are the same thing.

Yeah, I'd be wary of any dude who would gladly self-identify as a "nice guy". There's plenty of honest-to-goodness nice guys out in the world, but they come in all different shapes, sizes and styles. Then you have the "nice" guys, where "nice" is really code for "attempts to use emotional manipulation to get what they want" and their idea of "nice" is not based in altruism or generosity whatsoever.

Here's a tip to all the "nice guys".  The jerk is honest.  You're not.

Here's another tip(s): get a good haircut, shave, take a shower and get some decent clothes.

Also, stop confusing "nice" and "creepy."


Here's another tip(s): get a good haircut, (don't be bald, balding or have a hairstyle that isn't "this week"), shave, (be tall, VERY TALL), take a shower, (be DUMB) and get some decent clothes, (give me your spending money).    Also, drive a hot car, have drugs and cash readily available, beat me every once in a while, and have sex with every female relative I have.  At least that's what all the NJ women seemed to want in the 80's and 90s.
 
2013-04-04 12:30:03 PM  

ms_lara_croft: reillan: ms_lara_croft: Grables'Daughter: WelldeadLink: ms_lara_croft: Is this going to be the thread where nice guys come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?

Nope. Because we nice guys get the girls after they realize the other guy is a jerk.

Some of us will never realize this, sadly.

Then there is the fact that "nice guys" and jerks are the same thing.

some of us nice guys aren't jerks.  Of course, we're also not likely to bemoan the fact that girls only date jerks, because we'd be jerks for saying that... but still.

Oh, I know. I've met plenty of nice guys who are actually nice guys and they get on with women just fine. It's the "nice guys" who complain that women won't go out with them (i. e., have sex with them) because women supposedly date only jerks. Those "nice guys" have entitlement issues, amongst other things.


Indeed.

I used to refer to myself as a nice guy, but I gave that up once the common meaning of that meant 'passive-aggressive entitled misogynist". Although I feel I still get some shiat indirectly because of these "nice guys". People sometimes assume that I'm not actually nice and am just feigning it to hide my motives. I guess people just have a hard time believing nice people exist.

In a similar vein, I used to consider myself someone who believed in men's rights (not male supremacy or anything, just fair and equal treatment for anyone, I'd consider myself a feminist too)... then I realized that that term groups you in with some bad, bad people.
 
2013-04-04 12:32:42 PM  
Freeforever's post reminded me of the perks of being a wallflower. Decent movie, but that dude should have pounded Emma with his wand before she went back to hogwartz
 
2013-04-04 12:34:55 PM  
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-04-04 12:35:01 PM  
2MS: Grables'Daughter: LeroyBourne: The author should have just thrown it out and said no strings attached sex is easy, but relationships are hard, so lets just discretely bang.

But that's exactly what I got out of the article.

Hey, nice to see you around. You make things more interesting.


Thank you for that.
 
2013-04-04 12:36:18 PM  

Rapmaster2000: Killer Cars: ms_lara_croft: Then there is the fact that "nice guys" and jerks are the same thing.

Yeah, I'd be wary of any dude who would gladly self-identify as a "nice guy". There's plenty of honest-to-goodness nice guys out in the world, but they come in all different shapes, sizes and styles. Then you have the "nice" guys, where "nice" is really code for "attempts to use emotional manipulation to get what they want" and their idea of "nice" is not based in altruism or generosity whatsoever.

Here's a tip to all the "nice guys".  The jerk is honest.  You're not.


Wow, generalize much?

Here's a tip to all the princesses out there who fill their FB timeline with those "All a girl really wants" images: you're still looking for the same type of guy you just got rid of because this time you really do know how to fix him.  And that same type of guy is still the "hot" alpha-jerk who sometimes remembers to move his feet off the coffee table when you're vacuuming because gosh he really can be sweet when no one else is looking but nobody understands him like you do.
 
2013-04-04 12:37:03 PM  

freeforever: The best article ever written on the subject of Nice Guys:

imgs.xkcd.com
/ftfy
 
2013-04-04 12:38:54 PM  
skeptos:
I blame John Hughes. His movies ruined a generation of young men by giving them unrealistically high expectations about teenage romance

Interesting.  His films were also somewhat racist and depicted poor people in a bad light.  Still, I have a fondness for 16 Candles and B-fast Club.

If I may chime in on the whole nice guy versus bad guy debate.  I didn't date much in HS and college. I was the nice guy and pretty naive. When I got out and was working and paid fairly well (good amount of discretionary cash), I was much more confident to the point of being sort of a jerk (I sort of wince how I was at the time).  But my dating was finally very good.  Don't get me wrong.  I followed certain dating rules to a tea - always paying for the girl on the first several dates, be a gentleman, dress well, know good places for coffee dates, dinners and favorite bars, etc.  Women like confidence even to the point of being slightly arrogant or pretend type A (I'm not a type A personality, but its perception on those early dates).  Seems obvious, but I think a lot of guys whose dating isn't great seem to forget this stuff.  As for sex, generally I don't try to go for making out or getting laid on a first date (unless there are clear signals that WILL happen). And it puts the gal at ease that I'm a "nice" person.  And they generally give it up after date 3.  Sure, not all girls like that and I had my share of rejections and lousy dates.

Anyhow, I'm married now and that stuff is in the past.  But yeah, being an overly nice person never worked for me. And it's my fallback personality with women, AND it almost never works.  They never respect you for being a doormat. Just my .02.
 
2013-04-04 12:39:11 PM  

Theaetetus: freeforever: The best article ever written on the subject of Nice Guys:
[imgs.xkcd.com image 686x953]
/ftfy


Honestly, you're both right.
 
2013-04-04 12:39:29 PM  

freeforever: The best article ever written on the subject of Nice Guys:

But If We Started Dating It Would Ruin Our Friendship Where I Ask You To Do Things And You Do Them

I really like you. I do. You're so nice, and sweet, and you listen to all my problems and respond with the appropriate compliments. But, well, I don't really see a relationship in our future. It would be terrible if we let sex destroy this great friendship we have where I get everything I want and you get nothing you want. Don't you think?

I knew you would understand. You always do.

We're so perfect as friends, you know? I can tell you anything, and you know you can always come to me anytime you need to hear me biatch about work or how ugly I feel. You wouldn't want to ruin a friendship like that just so you could be my boyfriend, and have me look at you with desire and longing in my eyes, if only once-would you? Of course not. Well, if we started dating, it would only complicate this wonderful setup I've got going here.

It's just...you're like my best friend, and I would hate for something you desperately want to change that. I mean, sure, we could go on some dates, maybe mess around a little and finally validate the six years you've spent languishing in this platonic nightmare, but then what? How could we ever go back to the way we were, where I take advantage of your clear attraction to me so I can have someone at my beck and call? That part of our friendship means so much to me.

No. We are just destined to be really, really good friends who only hang out when I don't have a boyfriend, but still need male attention to boost my fragile and all-consuming ego.

Anything can happen once you bring romance in. Think about how awful my last relationship was at the end, remember? The guy I'd call you crying about at 3 a.m. because he wouldn't answer my texts? The guy I met at the birthday party you threw me? I had insanely passionate sex with him for four months and now we don't even talk anymore. God, I would ...


I think the whole "nice guys" thing is that no matter how wonderful, awesome, or attentive a dude is, a girl cannot be expected to sleep with them or even date them. Someone doesn't want to date you, they don't want to date you. That doesn't make them callous or insensitive. It means they want different things. Maybe it ends up that there's an unhealthy dynamic between the guy and the girl resulting, but it's caused by wanting different things, not because the girl's an evil succubus. Why would a gal tell an obliging male friend to beat it?

Just think about it in reverse... a girl hangs out with a guy all the time. She has a total crush, but he's just not into it. Is he friend-zoning her? Leading her on? No, it's idiotic to think just because the parts fit together that sex should be owed.

\Is being nice so hard that it deserves a gold star at all times?
 
2013-04-04 12:41:20 PM  
i'm still a virgin at age 33, and yeah that really sucks and it sure as hell isn't by choice.  i look back at my college years and just cringe when i realize what an idiot i was.  you know what really killed my chances of ever getting laid in college?  i don't drink alcohol and i only hung out with my little group of friends.  of course i never got laid!  there were plenty of women there that would have been interested in me if i had just been more social.  go to a party, have a few drinks, find a girl who is by herself and start talking to her.  sex and relationships are not that complicated, but my god was i clueless in college.  and since i've still never had sex, you could argue i'm still pretty clueless right now.  but my opportunities for sex dwindled away as soon as i graduated, because i was no longer surrounded by lots of women my age that i already had things in common with.  and now that i'm 33 the odds of getting laid are virtually nonexistent, since women aren't interested in a virgin my age, no matter how dashing and handsome i am.  what really hurts me though isn't the fact i've never had sex, it's that i want to have children very badly, and every day that dream gets farther and farther from ever becoming a reality.
 
2013-04-04 12:41:49 PM  

freeforever: The best article ever written on the subject of Nice Guys:

But If We Started Dating It Would Ruin Our Friendship Where I Ask You To Do Things And You Do Them

I really like you. I do. You're so nice, and sweet, and you listen to all my problems and respond with the appropriate compliments. But, well, I don't really see a relationship in our future. It would be terrible if we let sex destroy this great friendship we have where I get everything I want and you get nothing you want. Don't you think?

I knew you would understand. You always do.

We're so perfect as friends, you know? I can tell you anything, and you know you can always come to me anytime you need to hear me biatch about work or how ugly I feel. You wouldn't want to ruin a friendship like that just so you could be my boyfriend, and have me look at you with desire and longing in my eyes, if only once-would you? Of course not. Well, if we started dating, it would only complicate this wonderful setup I've got going here.

It's just...you're like my best friend, and I would hate for something you desperately want to change that. I mean, sure, we could go on some dates, maybe mess around a little and finally validate the six years you've spent languishing in this platonic nightmare, but then what? How could we ever go back to the way we were, where I take advantage of your clear attraction to me so I can have someone at my beck and call? That part of our friendship means so much to me.

No. We are just destined to be really, really good friends who only hang out when I don't have a boyfriend, but still need male attention to boost my fragile and all-consuming ego.

Anything can happen once you bring romance in. Think about how awful my last relationship was at the end, remember? The guy I'd call you crying about at 3 a.m. because he wouldn't answer my texts? The guy I met at the birthday party you threw me? I had insanely passionate sex with him for four months and now we don't even talk anymore. God, I would ...


Turn out the lights, thread over.

One day I'll learn.
 
2013-04-04 12:45:55 PM  

theurge14: Rapmaster2000: Killer Cars: ms_lara_croft: Then there is the fact that "nice guys" and jerks are the same thing.

Yeah, I'd be wary of any dude who would gladly self-identify as a "nice guy". There's plenty of honest-to-goodness nice guys out in the world, but they come in all different shapes, sizes and styles. Then you have the "nice" guys, where "nice" is really code for "attempts to use emotional manipulation to get what they want" and their idea of "nice" is not based in altruism or generosity whatsoever.

Here's a tip to all the "nice guys".  The jerk is honest.  You're not.

Wow, generalize much?

Here's a tip to all the princesses out there who fill their FB timeline with those "All a girl really wants" images: you're still looking for the same type of guy you just got rid of because this time you really do know how to fix him.  And that same type of guy is still the "hot" alpha-jerk who sometimes remembers to move his feet off the coffee table when you're vacuuming because gosh he really can be sweet when no one else is looking but nobody understands him like you do.


Dude, just stop.  Here's how to be the nice guy that you imagine yourself to be and be an alpha-male that you'd like to be without being a jerk.

Do.what.you.want.  Always do what you want.  Do you like hearing that girl whine about her jerk boyfriend?  No, you don't.  So stop it.  Do you like waiting for her to figure out that you're the perfect guy and that she needed to be with you all along?  No, you hate waiting.  Stop waiting.  Go do something else that you would rather do instead.

That's not being a jerk.  That's living your life.  People respect that.
 
2013-04-04 12:50:38 PM  

enderthexenocide: i'm still a virgin at age 33, and yeah that really sucks and it sure as hell isn't by choice.  i look back at my college years and just cringe when i realize what an idiot i was.  you know what really killed my chances of ever getting laid in college?  i don't drink alcohol and i only hung out with my little group of friends.  of course i never got laid!  there were plenty of women there that would have been interested in me if i had just been more social.  go to a party, have a few drinks, find a girl who is by herself and start talking to her.  sex and relationships are not that complicated, but my god was i clueless in college.  and since i've still never had sex, you could argue i'm still pretty clueless right now.  but my opportunities for sex dwindled away as soon as i graduated, because i was no longer surrounded by lots of women my age that i already had things in common with.  and now that i'm 33 the odds of getting laid are virtually nonexistent, since women aren't interested in a virgin my age, no matter how dashing and handsome i am.  what really hurts me though isn't the fact i've never had sex, it's that i want to have children very badly, and every day that dream gets farther and farther from ever becoming a reality.


If you're 33 and assuming you have a job, your own place, etc., I'd say you're actually in a pretty good spot, especially if you pursue women your own age, whose biological clocks are ticking ever more loudly.  The idea that everyone must lose their virginity by 19 or whatever is a relatively recent cultural thing.
 
2013-04-04 12:51:13 PM  

MyKingdomForYourHorse: unlikely: The trick, then, was figuring out your percentage honestly, so you'd know where to aim.

Also called the 8-2 rule, meaning wherever you are on the scale of 1 to 10, you can reasonably shoot for a two point gap. Meaning if your an 8, you might get a 9 or settle for a 7.

Now us sociopaths like myself however, recognize the power of social manipulation. We realize that humans are pack animals and often influenced by decisions in the group and those decisions are often about competition. For instance, when women go out they often invite their friends however invariably their friends often tend to be people either slightly or some degree less attractive than them. Friendships tend to follow that 8-2 rule as well.

So what do sociopaths do? We manipulate this by shooting not for the 9, but her friend who is an 8 or 7. We ignore the hottest one in the group and invalidate her superiority amongst her group. Essentially we take her down several levels. What this does is elevate that 7 to top of the group and any decision she makes the group follows. So if you talk to the 7 and win her charm, you've almost instantly won the charm of the group.

Does it seal the deal, no but its a chink in the armor of the girls night out groups.


But a smart 9 knows what you are doing.

Had a fairly cute man try to pull this on me at a girl's night out. He was hitting on my 6 & 7 friends and flirting hard. My friends ate up the attention because they didn't see his game. I pretty much ignored him. At the end of the night when we were leaving he tried to talk to me but I had no use for his games.

Too bad. He was cute and I 'd have given him my number and gone out with him if he'd been upfront and honest.

/I'm not saying I'm always a 9 but for men who like my type I seem to be a 9. I'm about a 6 to men who prefer tall, skinny, vapid blondes and I'm fine with that.
 
2013-04-04 12:51:19 PM  
img203.imageshack.us
 
2013-04-04 12:52:03 PM  

enderthexenocide: i'm still a virgin at age 33, and yeah that really sucks and it sure as hell isn't by choice.  i look back at my college years and just cringe when i realize what an idiot i was.  you know what really killed my chances of ever getting laid in college?  i don't drink alcohol and i only hung out with my little group of friends.  of course i never got laid!  there were plenty of women there that would have been interested in me if i had just been more social.  go to a party, have a few drinks, find a girl who is by herself and start talking to her.  sex and relationships are not that complicated, but my god was i clueless in college.  and since i've still never had sex, you could argue i'm still pretty clueless right now.  but my opportunities for sex dwindled away as soon as i graduated, because i was no longer surrounded by lots of women my age that i already had things in common with.  and now that i'm 33 the odds of getting laid are virtually nonexistent, since women aren't interested in a virgin my age, no matter how dashing and handsome i am.  what really hurts me though isn't the fact i've never had sex, it's that i want to have children very badly, and every day that dream gets farther and farther from ever becoming a reality.


Dude, virginity isn't something worn on your sleeve. If you never bring it up and don't act shy and weird about sex, no one would ever know.
 
PJ-
2013-04-04 12:53:25 PM  

enderthexenocide: i'm still a virgin at age 33, and yeah that really sucks and it sure as hell isn't by choice.  i look back at my college years and just cringe when i realize what an idiot i was.  you know what really killed my chances of ever getting laid in college?  i don't drink alcohol and i only hung out with my little group of friends.  of course i never got laid!  there were plenty of women there that would have been interested in me if i had just been more social.  go to a party, have a few drinks, find a girl who is by herself and start talking to her.  sex and relationships are not that complicated, but my god was i clueless in college.  and since i've still never had sex, you could argue i'm still pretty clueless right now.  but my opportunities for sex dwindled away as soon as i graduated, because i was no longer surrounded by lots of women my age that i already had things in common with.  and now that i'm 33 the odds of getting laid are virtually nonexistent, since women aren't interested in a virgin my age, no matter how dashing and handsome i am.  what really hurts me though isn't the fact i've never had sex, it's that i want to have children very badly, and every day that dream gets farther and farther from ever becoming a reality.


By the sounds of it, you are just as much of an idiot you are now as you were in college.  You think that being 33 decreses your odds of getting laid?  Girls our age are looking to get plowed just as much as they were in college, in fact, they are probably looking to get some more than they were in college.  Hell, thanks to Fifty Shades of Grey, there are plenty of 30ish year old women who have turned into sex fiends.

Who cares you haven't gotten your dinky stinky yet?  Just don't mention it, and you will be fine.  It's also not the fact that you are virgin that decreases your odds, it's the fact that you make it a conversation point with women.  Want to have kids, start hanging out at a bar, pick up a few test girls so you can learn a thing or two, then start looking for that special someone.  Stop putting women on a pedestal, they want to have sex just as much as you do.  Stop giving them a reason to look at you like a creeper.
 
2013-04-04 12:53:29 PM  

theurge14: Rapmaster2000: Killer Cars: ms_lara_croft: Then there is the fact that "nice guys" and jerks are the same thing.

Yeah, I'd be wary of any dude who would gladly self-identify as a "nice guy". There's plenty of honest-to-goodness nice guys out in the world, but they come in all different shapes, sizes and styles. Then you have the "nice" guys, where "nice" is really code for "attempts to use emotional manipulation to get what they want" and their idea of "nice" is not based in altruism or generosity whatsoever.

Here's a tip to all the "nice guys".  The jerk is honest.  You're not.

Wow, generalize much?

Here's a tip to all the princesses out there who fill their FB timeline with those "All a girl really wants" images: you're still looking for the same type of guy you just got rid of because this time you really do know how to fix him.  And that same type of guy is still the "hot" alpha-jerk who sometimes remembers to move his feet off the coffee table when you're vacuuming because gosh he really can be sweet when no one else is looking but nobody understands him like you do.


What a nice guy you are.
 
2013-04-04 12:54:02 PM  
Hi, my name is Claire. I remember this one time at school five of us all got detention. I was a 'good girl' and never been in trouble much. To make matters worse we all had to come in on a Saturday. The assistant principal told us not to speak to one another and then told us he wanted us to write a thousand word essay!
Well one thing led to another and before I knew what happened we were smoking some marijuana. That stuff must have been laced with some angel dust or something because before I knew what happened, the 'criminal' looking guy was unbuttoning my blouse and squeezing my breasts with his big dirty fingers. He was wearing those 'bad-boy' fingerless gloves and I could smell the motorcycle grime and sweat rising off my heaving chest. The touch of the edges of the leather brushing up against my sensitive nipples sent waves of pleasure across my chest and down my legs. But before I could even speak, the athletic guy was unbuttoning my belt and my long skirt fell around my boots.

Without a word the brainy kid dropped to his knees as I began to fall to the floor of the library. My legs were weakened and wobbly as the three young men guided my limp body onto the floor. The jock took off his letter jacket and placed it under my head. Meanwhile the bad boy slid off my blouse and bra. He cupped my breasts and squeezed with just the right amount of pressure. As his large hands circled my orbs, I became keenly aware of his every touch. The seams of the leather gloves lightly creased the tips of my nipples and they began to swell and warm. As the football player slid down my panties the young nerdy boy began unzipping my boots. He ran his small smooth hands all over my calves and feet. As he tugged off my socks, he slid my gently kissed each toes ans I could feel my self slipping away into abandon. The tough kid and the jock knelt over me and squeezed my arms, shoulders, and hands. I was so at ease when suddenly, the quiet basket-case girl lifted my head for the jacket and placed it in her lap. She smiled and her eyes glistened warmly. I was completely enamored with her gaze and I knew instantly she was tender and loving. She gently stroked my hair as she lightly kissed my face, ears and neck.

I moaned and cooed ever so slightly. I felt just like a real princess being pampered by her loyal attendants. I was so engaged in the moment I barely noticed that each of my fellow classmates were removing all their clothing. The crazy girl brushed my face with her eyelashes and short pixie hair. She bestowed kiss after kiss. Small sweet pecks at first, but soon her tongue licked the corners of my mouth and probed the creases of my lips. I felt her warm tongue slip deep into my open mouth and probed like a hungry snake. The biker guy was obviously a total breast man. He was fully obsessed by my chest. He would cup my breasts and softly knead them and then lightly pinch my nipples between his thumb and index finger. Occasionally, he would glide the edges of his nails along my rib cage and tickle me 'just enough' to make me squirm, but not so to distract me from all the attention I was receiving. Meanwhile, the muscular jock slid his hands along my inner thighs and groin. He was in no hurry and I recognized at once the touch of an experiences and giving lover. He massaged me softly and only occasionally would his fingers find their way near my vagina. At first he only tapped and slid one or two fingers over my quivering mound. My mind raced at the anticipation knowing soon his skilled fingers would part my lips to probe me further. I was soaking wet. For the first time I knew what it meant to experience primal want. I felt 'hot' down there and I could already anticipate the  touch of his hands, mouth and tongue. The brainy guy was skinny but really sweet. I could feel his bulging penis as he pressed my bare feet deeply against his groin. He sucked and nibbled each toe but also carefully massaged and rubbed my feet with the expertise of a guy that liked a well-turned ankle.

I could no longer conceal my excitement. I used my hands to pull Allison's head towards my own. Each time her tongue sawed in and out of my mouth, I would moan and hum. John Bender cupped each breast but began to rub his large cock on top of my chest, as well. He tugged at each nipple... not enough to hurt, but he certainly had my complete attention. Andrew worshiped me with his mouth and tongue. He wrote the entire Phoenician alphabet on my gushing clit and his tongue parted me like Moses on the shores of the Red Sea. I began to shake with orgasms that sent wave after wave of electricity across my entire body. I could feel my feet squinching and toes curling as I came each time. I was suddenly aware between the waves of climax that Brian the bookworm was tickling the soles of my feet as he ejaculated between my toes. Since they all ate me up from my head to the tips of my toes, we called that day, "The Breakfast Club".

We only met once, but it changed our lives forever.
 
2013-04-04 12:55:54 PM  
Where did I say I was in need of that advice?

I was taking exception to your blanket statement that nice guys aren't honest.

Don't you think it's possible that women aren't being honest when they list all the reasons nice guys creep them out when it's simply a matter of attraction?  "All you care about is if she's hot" is the common refrain guys hear, wouldn't you say it's dishonest for women to say that looks don't matter to them too?

A simple experiment can be made.  Get three people, one ugly guy, one attractive guy, and one girl on her birthday. Have both guys give the girl the same birthday present.  Observe her reaction.

As they say, it is what it is.
 
2013-04-04 12:57:06 PM  
i282.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-04 12:57:43 PM  

Dahnkster: We only met once, but it changed our lives forever.


img203.imageshack.us
 
2013-04-04 12:57:48 PM  

freeforever: The best article ever written on the subject of Nice Guys:

But If We Started Dating It Would Ruin Our Friendship Where I Ask You To Do Things And You Do Them

I really like you. I do. You're so nice, and sweet, and you listen to all my problems and respond with the appropriate compliments. But, well, I don't really see a relationship in our future. It would be terrible if we let sex destroy this great friendship we have where I get everything I want and you get nothing you want. Don't you think?

I knew you would understand. You always do.

We're so perfect as friends, you know? I can tell you anything, and you know you can always come to me anytime you need to hear me biatch about work or how ugly I feel. You wouldn't want to ruin a friendship like that just so you could be my boyfriend, and have me look at you with desire and longing in my eyes, if only once-would you? Of course not. Well, if we started dating, it would only complicate this wonderful setup I've got going here.

It's just...you're like my best friend, and I would hate for something you desperately want to change that. I mean, sure, we could go on some dates, maybe mess around a little and finally validate the six years you've spent languishing in this platonic nightmare, but then what? How could we ever go back to the way we were, where I take advantage of your clear attraction to me so I can have someone at my beck and call? That part of our friendship means so much to me.

No. We are just destined to be really, really good friends who only hang out when I don't have a boyfriend, but still need male attention to boost my fragile and all-consuming ego.

Anything can happen once you bring romance in. Think about how awful my last relationship was at the end, remember? The guy I'd call you crying about at 3 a.m. because he wouldn't answer my texts? The guy I met at the birthday party you threw me? I had insanely passionate sex with him for four months and now we don't even talk anymore. God, I would ...


Yup, that pretty much sums it up. The key is seeing its heading that direction and bailing. Sounds cold but heres the deal...if you like someone, and they like you, and you dont hit it within the first few weeks...its not gonna happen, bail.

Relationships take work to maintain, not to start.
 
2013-04-04 12:57:50 PM  

Lorelle: theurge14: Rapmaster2000: Killer Cars: ms_lara_croft: Then there is the fact that "nice guys" and jerks are the same thing.

Yeah, I'd be wary of any dude who would gladly self-identify as a "nice guy". There's plenty of honest-to-goodness nice guys out in the world, but they come in all different shapes, sizes and styles. Then you have the "nice" guys, where "nice" is really code for "attempts to use emotional manipulation to get what they want" and their idea of "nice" is not based in altruism or generosity whatsoever.

Here's a tip to all the "nice guys".  The jerk is honest.  You're not.

Wow, generalize much?

Here's a tip to all the princesses out there who fill their FB timeline with those "All a girl really wants" images: you're still looking for the same type of guy you just got rid of because this time you really do know how to fix him.  And that same type of guy is still the "hot" alpha-jerk who sometimes remembers to move his feet off the coffee table when you're vacuuming because gosh he really can be sweet when no one else is looking but nobody understands him like you do.

What a nice guy you are.


Being honest is being nice.  I'm pretty sure that's the point of all this discussion.
 
2013-04-04 12:58:34 PM  

Dahnkster: Why I'll bet an epileptic girl or a shaky Parkinson's patient would be more fun than a sack full of kittens.


Well, certainly not so many claws. A bag of kittens sounds like some serious CBT to me. No, thank you.

And that "shaky" comment reminds me of a very rude joke involving a couple with cerebral palsy, and hotel bell-boy, and the punchline, "Okay....CUT HER LOOSE!"
 
2013-04-04 01:02:17 PM  

theurge14: Being honest is being nice.  I'm pretty sure that's the point of all this discussion.


My point is, you're generalizing about the "princesses." :)
 
2013-04-04 01:04:00 PM  
1960s: Age of Free Love - I'm a child
1970s: Sex, Drugs and Rock n Roll - I'm  pimply pre-teen more interested in Star Trek.
1980-2000s: BAM! Aids. Casual sex nose dives. - NOW I'm old enough and ain't getting much.
2013: Hookup Culture - Married 25 years. Ain't getting much.

FML
 
2013-04-04 01:04:39 PM  

enderthexenocide: i'm still a virgin at age 33, and yeah that really sucks and it sure as hell isn't by choice.  i look back at my college years and just cringe when i realize what an idiot i was.  you know what really killed my chances of ever getting laid in college?  i don't drink alcohol and i only hung out with my little group of friends.  of course i never got laid!  there were plenty of women there that would have been interested in me if i had just been more social.  go to a party, have a few drinks, find a girl who is by herself and start talking to her.  sex and relationships are not that complicated, but my god was i clueless in college.  and since i've still never had sex, you could argue i'm still pretty clueless right now.  but my opportunities for sex dwindled away as soon as i graduated, because i was no longer surrounded by lots of women my age that i already had things in common with.  and now that i'm 33 the odds of getting laid are virtually nonexistent, since women aren't interested in a virgin my age, no matter how dashing and handsome i am.  what really hurts me though isn't the fact i've never had sex, it's that i want to have children very badly, and every day that dream gets farther and farther from ever becoming a reality.


While not as bad as your story I also have the "don't drink" and huge social introvert issue going for me which hasled to a very small number of partners over the years. I don't have much to offer in the way of advice just condolences and letting you know you aren't alone. Having missed out on ~10 years of building up that skillset that the majority of men seem to have (even if this is a misperception) seems like such a huge hurdle sometimes.
 
2013-04-04 01:05:08 PM  

enderthexenocide: i'm still a virgin at age 33, and yeah that really sucks and it sure as hell isn't by choice.  i look back at my college years and just cringe when i realize what an idiot i was.  you know what really killed my chances of ever getting laid in college?  i don't drink alcohol and i only hung out with my little group of friends.  of course i never got laid!  there were plenty of women there that would have been interested in me if i had just been more social.  go to a party, have a few drinks, find a girl who is by herself and start talking to her.  sex and relationships are not that complicated, but my god was i clueless in college.  and since i've still never had sex, you could argue i'm still pretty clueless right now.  but my opportunities for sex dwindled away as soon as i graduated, because i was no longer surrounded by lots of women my age that i already had things in common with.  and now that i'm 33 the odds of getting laid are virtually nonexistent, since women aren't interested in a virgin my age, no matter how dashing and handsome i am.  what really hurts me though isn't the fact i've never had sex, it's that i want to have children very badly, and every day that dream gets farther and farther from ever becoming a reality.


/CSB
 
2013-04-04 01:05:39 PM  

theurge14: Where did I say I was in need of that advice?

I was taking exception to your blanket statement that nice guys aren't honest.


OK, but you aren't nice so I'm not sure what you're proving.

Don't you think it's possible that women aren't being honest when they list all the reasons nice guys creep them out when it's simply a matter of attraction?  "All you care about is if she's hot" is the common refrain guys hear, wouldn't you say it's dishonest for women to say that looks don't matter to them too?

A simple experiment can be made.  Get three people, one ugly guy, one attractive guy, and one girl on her birthday. Have both guys give the girl the same birthday present.  Observe her reaction.


Yeah, they don't really mean that, just like you don't really mean it when you say intelligence is more important than looks.  Way to crack the case wide-open, Sgt. Hooker.  Congrats on catching up to the men in this thread who don't have problems with women.
 
2013-04-04 01:05:41 PM  
Here's my 2 cents on the "nice guy" discussion:

Get to know her. If you like her, and want to date, then ask her out. If she says no, move on. It's not the end of the world and you can go find someone who is a better match for you. Just because she said no doesn't mean she's a biatch - she just isn't interested in dating you.

But do not assume being a friend will (or even should) turn into a romantic relationship. If you don't make your romantic intentions known, then you're being deceptive - so don't blame her for "failing to realize how perfect you are for her."

Believe it or not, most adults have friends they are nice too without expecting sex. People choose freinds because they enjoy each other's company and have fun hanging out.

If the only reason you're nice to someone is because you want to date them, you're not a friend - you're a cowardly suitor, and you're definitely not a "nice guy".

/don't be scared to ask - you'll be surprised how many say yes!
 
2013-04-04 01:07:18 PM  

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Dahnkster: We only met once, but it changed our lives forever.


Was that the description of the ruckus?
 
2013-04-04 01:09:23 PM  

theurge14: A simple experiment can be made. Get three people, one ugly guy, one attractive guy, and one girl on her birthday. Have both guys give the girl the same birthday present. Observe her reaction.



Would you expect a different reaction by switching the genders?

Ugly girl and attractive girl?
 
2013-04-04 01:10:09 PM  

Dahnkster: Hi, my name is Claire. I remember this one time at school five of us all got detention. I was a 'good girl' and never been in trouble much. To make matters worse we all had to come in on a Saturday. The assistant principal told us not to speak to one another and then told us he wanted us to write a thousand word essay!
Well one thing led to another and before I knew what happened we were smoking some marijuana. That stuff must have been laced with some angel dust or something because before I knew what happened, the 'criminal' looking guy was unbuttoning my blouse and squeezing my breasts with his big dirty fingers. He was wearing those 'bad-boy' fingerless gloves and I could smell the motorcycle grime and sweat rising off my heaving chest. The touch of the edges of the leather brushing up against my sensitive nipples sent waves of pleasure across my chest and down my legs. But before I could even speak, the athletic guy was unbuttoning my belt and my long skirt fell around my boots.

Without a word the brainy kid dropped to his knees as I began to fall to the floor of the library. My legs were weakened and wobbly as the three young men guided my limp body onto the floor. The jock took off his letter jacket and placed it under my head. Meanwhile the bad boy slid off my blouse and bra. He cupped my breasts and squeezed with just the right amount of pressure. As his large hands circled my orbs, I became keenly aware of his every touch. The seams of the leather gloves lightly creased the tips of my nipples and they began to swell and warm. As the football player slid down my panties the young nerdy boy began unzipping my boots. He ran his small smooth hands all over my calves and feet. As he tugged off my socks, he slid my gently kissed each toes ans I could feel my self slipping away into abandon. The tough kid and the jock knelt over me and squeezed my arms, shoulders, and hands. I was so at ease when suddenly, the quiet basket-case girl lifted my head for the jacket ...


i think i just shermer'd in my pants.
 
2013-04-04 01:10:28 PM  
Another one of these stupid things?

Dating 101:

SOME guys will get lots of sex because they have some physical or behavioral characteristic girls like enough to f*ck for. These traits are stupid things like being tall, being popular or being an arsehole (they call it confidence) so it's really not a big deal to NOT be one of these guys. For the girls the sex is really just about fitting in and having 'experiences', so it is stupid crap too.

MOST guys get very, very little sex because girls don't really like sex and don't really want it. You and I are (were) these guys. If you really want to change that then learn about 'hooking up' with girls. Basically ask 100 girls if they wanna have sex and 1 will probably say yes. More than likely it will be awkward and boring and nothing like your fantasies. My opinion is to cheat the system, save your energy for something important and Fap to internet porn until you find someone you like enough to date.

Remember (it's one of the hardest things for guys to get thru their heads and causes the most anguish) girls like sex about 1/1000th as much as you and it's not very important to them.
 
2013-04-04 01:10:33 PM  

unlikely: A couple roommates and I worked out a theory when we were all undergrads.


It is not just a theory. You should have filmed a documentary and did some testing like the folks who made the Documentary that shows just what you describe, it is available on Netflix.
 
PJ-
2013-04-04 01:11:03 PM  

bikerific: theurge14: A simple experiment can be made. Get three people, one ugly guy, one attractive guy, and one girl on her birthday. Have both guys give the girl the same birthday present. Observe her reaction.


Would you expect a different reaction by switching the genders?

Ugly girl and attractive girl?


Depends, if it's a nice hammer drill, the reaction will be the same either way.  Now, if it's a pair of socks, ugly girl will get 'oh hey thanks, I can always use more socks', while attractive girl will get 'oh hey thanks, I can always use more socks, how bout some birthday sex?'
 
2013-04-04 01:11:27 PM  

2MS: Grables'Daughter: LeroyBourne: The author should have just thrown it out and said no strings attached sex is easy, but relationships are hard, so lets just discretely bang.

But that's exactly what I got out of the article.

Hey, nice to see you around. You make things more interesting.


imho, kinda the opposite.
 
2013-04-04 01:11:47 PM  

freeforever: ms_lara_croft: Grables'Daughter: WelldeadLink: ms_lara_croft: Is this going to be the thread where nice guys come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?

Nope. Because we nice guys get the girls after they realize the other guy is a jerk.

Some of us will never realize this, sadly.

Then there is the fact that "nice guys" and jerks are the same thing.

Uh, no.  "Nice guys" are not the same as jerks.  "Nice guys" are nice guys who are nice to women and in return don't get sex from them.  They are the designated drivers, willing to pick women up from the airport at the drop of a hat or drive them home from the bar after having a few too many.  They are the guys who constantly feed women compliments they so crave, and the guys who will do manual labor and other chores for the girl when her boyfriend isn't around.  Feminists get angry when "nice guys" complain they aren't getting sex because a "nice guy's" place in society is to be the emotional tampon for women who need their friendship ie., attention.  How dare a "nice guy" ever expect anything more!

Jerks are men, usually decent men who know how to play the field and but called jerks (usually by disgruntled "nice guys") because they get laid without jumping through all the fruitless hoops mentioned above.

There's a difference between "nice guys" and jerks, and it's because women/feminists equate the two that no self-respecting man should ever settle for the "nice guy" role. You and your white-knighted efforts will never be rewarded.


I would expand on the "Jerks" definition by distinguishing between two labeled types. On the one hand you've got decent men who know how to be kind, fun, expressive, and genuine, because they're that way all the time, not just with women they're trying to impress.. They just don't put up with bullshiat games. That no-bullshiat and getting laid gets them mislabeled as "jerks".

On the other hand you've got your manipulative, selfish, controlling, misogynist douchebags. Very different creatures, though on the surface they may be difficult to tell apart, because they're (a) not putting up with bullshiat games; and (2) getting laid. A lot.

As for your description of "nice guy as doormat", I say you are right on the money.
 
PJ-
2013-04-04 01:12:43 PM  

hitlersbrain: MOST guys get very, very little sex because girls don't really like sex and don't really want it.


wtf?  I think you are just bad at what you do.  From my experience, girls love sex, they just do a better job of hiding it from people they don't want to have sex with.
 
2013-04-04 01:19:53 PM  

freeforever: Uh, no.  "Nice guys" are not the same as jerks.  "Nice guys" are nice guys who are nice to women and in return don't get sex from them.  They are the designated drivers, willing to pick women up from the airport at the drop of a hat or drive them home from the bar after having a few too many.  They are the guys who constantly feed women compliments they so crave, and the guys who will do manual labor and other chores for the girl when her boyfriend isn't around.  Feminists get angry when "nice guys" complain they aren't getting sex because a "nice guy's" place in society is to be the emotional tampon for women who need their friendship ie., attention.  How dare a "nice guy" ever expect anything more!

Jerks are men, usually decent men who know how to play the field and but called jerks (usually by disgruntled "nice guys") because they get laid without jumping through all the fruitless hoops mentioned above.

There's a difference between "nice guys" and jerks, and it's because women/feminists equate the two that no self-respecting man should ever settle for the "nice guy" role. You and your white-knighted efforts will never be rewarded.


Clue: you're not a nice guy. You're a titanic asshole.
 
2MS
2013-04-04 01:19:56 PM  

Andrew Wiggin: 2MS: Grables'Daughter: LeroyBourne: The author should have just thrown it out and said no strings attached sex is easy, but relationships are hard, so lets just discretely bang.

But that's exactly what I got out of the article.

Hey, nice to see you around. You make things more interesting.

imho, kinda the opposite.


Well, I kinda missed you too. I've been hanging out on TFD, and it got old quick. How is TMB?
 
PJ-
2013-04-04 01:21:28 PM  

verbaltoxin: freeforever: Uh, no.  "Nice guys" are not the same as jerks.  "Nice guys" are nice guys who are nice to women and in return don't get sex from them.  They are the designated drivers, willing to pick women up from the airport at the drop of a hat or drive them home from the bar after having a few too many.  They are the guys who constantly feed women compliments they so crave, and the guys who will do manual labor and other chores for the girl when her boyfriend isn't around.  Feminists get angry when "nice guys" complain they aren't getting sex because a "nice guy's" place in society is to be the emotional tampon for women who need their friendship ie., attention.  How dare a "nice guy" ever expect anything more!

Jerks are men, usually decent men who know how to play the field and but called jerks (usually by disgruntled "nice guys") because they get laid without jumping through all the fruitless hoops mentioned above.

There's a difference between "nice guys" and jerks, and it's because women/feminists equate the two that no self-respecting man should ever settle for the "nice guy" role. You and your white-knighted efforts will never be rewarded.

Clue: you're not a nice guy. You're a titanic asshole.


Doesn't matter, had sex.
 
2013-04-04 01:25:29 PM  

PJ-: verbaltoxin: freeforever: Uh, no.  "Nice guys" are not the same as jerks.  "Nice guys" are nice guys who are nice to women and in return don't get sex from them.  They are the designated drivers, willing to pick women up from the airport at the drop of a hat or drive them home from the bar after having a few too many.  They are the guys who constantly feed women compliments they so crave, and the guys who will do manual labor and other chores for the girl when her boyfriend isn't around.  Feminists get angry when "nice guys" complain they aren't getting sex because a "nice guy's" place in society is to be the emotional tampon for women who need their friendship ie., attention.  How dare a "nice guy" ever expect anything more!

Jerks are men, usually decent men who know how to play the field and but called jerks (usually by disgruntled "nice guys") because they get laid without jumping through all the fruitless hoops mentioned above.

There's a difference between "nice guys" and jerks, and it's because women/feminists equate the two that no self-respecting man should ever settle for the "nice guy" role. You and your white-knighted efforts will never be rewarded.

Clue: you're not a nice guy. You're a titanic asshole.

Doesn't matter, had sex.


Actually this guy didn't, and he's blaming the women for not offering up poon for chores.
 
2013-04-04 01:26:34 PM  

BHShaman: unlikely: A couple roommates and I worked out a theory when we were all undergrads.

It is not just a theory. You should have filmed a documentary and did some testing like the folks who made the Documentary that shows just what you describe, it is available on Netflix.


Do they get more complex than that? We always thought you could really refine it further...

Do you know what the Netflix one is called?
 
2013-04-04 01:27:39 PM  

freeforever: The best article ever written on the subject of Nice Guys:

But If We Started Dating It Would Ruin Our Friendship Where I Ask You To Do Things And You Do Them


Somehow I missed that one.
That was wonderful.
 
2013-04-04 01:27:54 PM  

enderthexenocide: i'm still a virgin at age 33, and yeah that really sucks and it sure as hell isn't by choice.  i look back at my college years and just cringe when i realize what an idiot i was.  you know what really killed my chances of ever getting laid in college?  i don't drink alcohol and i only hung out with my little group of friends.  of course i never got laid!  there were plenty of women there that would have been interested in me if i had just been more social.  go to a party, have a few drinks, find a girl who is by herself and start talking to her.  sex and relationships are not that complicated, but my god was i clueless in college.  and since i've still never had sex, you could argue i'm still pretty clueless right now.  but my opportunities for sex dwindled away as soon as i graduated, because i was no longer surrounded by lots of women my age that i already had things in common with.  and now that i'm 33 the odds of getting laid are virtually nonexistent, since women aren't interested in a virgin my age, no matter how dashing and handsome i am.  what really hurts me though isn't the fact i've never had sex, it's that i want to have children very badly, and every day that dream gets farther and farther from ever becoming a reality.



Calm down. To steal a joke from Alec Baldwin, you're 33, that's like 16 in woman years. If you can keep your hair and not get too fat, you'll be physically desirable to the mainstream well into your 50's.


The "V" issue obviously bothers you. I get that. What you need to do is FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T TELL ANY WOMEN. Then, get your first one out of the way ASAP. Troll the 2AM bar scene, bus station or bowling alley. Whatever it takes to get the first one done. It won't be good. I just took up golf and I'll tell you, it was embarrassing when the high school girls team practicing nearby was giggling at me missing the ball over and over again with my weird, awkward jerky swing. Now I've got a couple range sessions under my belt and someone watching would assume I'm only medium terrible. But I'm smacking that ball every time now.


You're behind the curve, for sure. You'll need to put actual effort into catching up. Read books, be attentive, pay attention to what you are doing. 99% of your competition isn't putting this kind of effort into their game. But if you get up, stop feeling sorry for yourself and take a risk or two, in a couple years' time, you'll be just fine.
 
PJ-
2013-04-04 01:35:29 PM  

verbaltoxin: PJ-: verbaltoxin: freeforever: Uh, no.  "Nice guys" are not the same as jerks.  "Nice guys" are nice guys who are nice to women and in return don't get sex from them.  They are the designated drivers, willing to pick women up from the airport at the drop of a hat or drive them home from the bar after having a few too many.  They are the guys who constantly feed women compliments they so crave, and the guys who will do manual labor and other chores for the girl when her boyfriend isn't around.  Feminists get angry when "nice guys" complain they aren't getting sex because a "nice guy's" place in society is to be the emotional tampon for women who need their friendship ie., attention.  How dare a "nice guy" ever expect anything more!

Jerks are men, usually decent men who know how to play the field and but called jerks (usually by disgruntled "nice guys") because they get laid without jumping through all the fruitless hoops mentioned above.

There's a difference between "nice guys" and jerks, and it's because women/feminists equate the two that no self-respecting man should ever settle for the "nice guy" role. You and your white-knighted efforts will never be rewarded.

Clue: you're not a nice guy. You're a titanic asshole.

Doesn't matter, had sex.

Actually this guy didn't, and he's blaming the women for not offering up poon for chores.


I think you misinterpreted what I was trying to say.  He can call out guys for being a titanic assholes, but it doesn't matter, because they had sex.
 
2013-04-04 01:35:51 PM  
What is this "hookup culture" people are speaking of?

/I haven't had a date since January.
//sob
 
2013-04-04 01:39:47 PM  

OgreMagi: What is this "hookup culture" people are speaking of?

/I haven't had a date since January.
//sob


January? Life must be so hard for you.
 
2013-04-04 01:41:20 PM  

enderthexenocide: now that i'm 33 the odds of getting laid are virtually nonexistent, since women aren't interested in a virgin my age, no matter how dashing and handsome i am


You can hire a pro to show you the ropes, so to speak.

If you're concerned about legal repercussions, hire an escort for an hour and actually just take her to dinner, talk, etc. without any discussion at all of paying for sex. (This also lets her know YOU aren't a cop). Hire her again some time later and THEN get to the lessons.

Expensive, but no cop will go to the trouble of pretending to be an escort for a whole hour for the sake of a single bust.

/Dan Savage's idea IIRC, not original to me
//have not tried it myself
 
2013-04-04 01:41:23 PM  

PJ-: I always laugh at the 'nice guys' who say that women are just biatches because they won't give them a chance.  Well here's an idea superfriend, stop being such a creeper.  Stop being always available for the girl that you want, why would she be willing to plow you when you give her everything she wants/needs and she doesn't have to life a finger.  Honestly, being a nice guy isn't even all that hard, you make it sound like you are lifting the weight of the world by being such a nice guy.  Yes, it's so hard to pretend like you are listening with a smile on your face, while in your head you are undressing her.  Yes, it's so hard to open a door for someone because their hands are full.  I couldn't even imagine how hard it is to go out for lunch once in a while to catch up on things.  Girls want nice guys, but they also don't want a female to date, if they did, they would be a lesbian.  Now, i'm not saying to puff out your chest and try to fight everybody who dares look at your lady friend, but having some confidence really goes a long way.

Life is hard, life is harder when you're dumb, life is next to impossible when you're fugly.


In my experience 'nice guys' are actually super manipulative if they ever get into a relationship. They basically will show up at your doorstep every day to ask you out, buy you presents you *don't* want, and dedicate every song they sing to you. Personally, I don't find this kind of behavior romantic, I find it scary. I never dated my creepy nice guy stalker because he literally knew NOTHING about me.

Who I did end up dating was the guy who *was* a friend, and a real friend not someone who obsessively had to be around me and help me with everything, a normal friend who you could joke with and who was friends with your other friends.

My friend ended up dating a guy who was kind of creepily stalking her- she labeled it as 'romantic'. This guy would literally *have* to have his arms wrapped around her when we were at a concert to 'protect' her. He would call her like 50 times if they weren't together. He would guilt trip her if she didn't go to his house every single day.

Yep, I hate nice guys.

/now in another category we have guys who are pushovers who really can be nice, but they aren't the crazy self-sacrificing stalkers I'm talking about... they are the guys who get stuck with girl 'nice guys' if that makes sense. By that I mean their girlfriend/wife is a psychotic controlling manipulative person.
 
2013-04-04 01:42:11 PM  

rustypouch: OgreMagi: What is this "hookup culture" people are speaking of?

/I haven't had a date since January.
//sob

January? Life must be so hard for you.


That was my first date in over a year.
 
2013-04-04 01:44:19 PM  

spidermilk: In my experience 'nice guys' are actually super manipulative if they ever get into a relationship


i'm a complete jerk, wanna fark?
 
2013-04-04 01:44:38 PM  

Gaseous Anomaly: Expensive, but no cop will go to the trouble of pretending to be an escort for a whole hour for the sake of a single bust.


That sounds like a lot of work. Just go to Vegas. The hotel's concierge can have one waiting in your room when you check in.
 
2013-04-04 01:46:33 PM  

hitlersbrain: Remember (it's one of the hardest things for guys to get thru their heads and causes the most anguish) girls like sex about 1/1000th as much as you and it's not very important to them.


This guy is lying to you to try to get you off the playing field.

Most women would rather have a good stiff one in them than be doing anything else. They just want that good stiff one to be attached to someone they like, and they want it to stay stiff until they're finished.
 
2013-04-04 01:49:00 PM  

hitlersbrain: MOST guys get very, very little sex because girls don't really like sex and don't really want it


How did you  get a handle like hitlersbrain all the way back there in 1890?
 
2013-04-04 01:50:21 PM  

Grables'Daughter: LeroyBourne: The author should have just thrown it out and said no strings attached sex is easy, but relationships are hard, so lets just discretely bang.

But that's exactly what I got out of the article.


I'm impressed, you actually rtfa?  I just troll through the thread looking for highlighted comments.

/And yours is in a pretty shade of pink
 
2013-04-04 01:52:22 PM  

Qellaqan: I think the whole "nice guys" thing is that no matter how wonderful, awesome, or attentive a dude is, a girl cannot be expected to sleep with them or even date them. Someone doesn't want to date you, they don't want to date you. That doesn't make them callous or insensitive. It means they want different things. Maybe it ends up that there's an unhealthy dynamic between the guy and the girl resulting, but it's caused by wanting different things, not because the girl's an evil succubus. Why would a gal tell an obliging male friend to beat it?


But see I'm nice and sweet and cool.  Therefore she owes me a roll in the hay.
 
2013-04-04 01:59:51 PM  
So pity-farks don't count now?
 
2013-04-04 02:03:01 PM  

SirEattonHogg: But yeah, being an overly nice person never worked for me. And it's my fallback personality with women, AND it almost never works. They never respect you for being a doormat. Just my .02.


You hit the nail on the head

/former nice guy
//only for a couple of years b/c it never works...lol
 
2013-04-04 02:05:12 PM  

ms_lara_croft: Is this going to be the thread where nice guys come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?


Well they *do*.

Snidery aside, the corollary to the "nice guy" who constantly biatches about not getting sex is the "liberated woman" who is always whining about how all men are "assholes" despite the fact that she keeps rewarding their bad behaviors with sex.   You can't want to be "pursued" and "chased" and be surprised when your pursuers are predatory and you are treated like prey.  Yet "liberated women" keep farking pushy man-children and "nice guys" keep expecting to fark on the first date.

And time and time again, it's been proven that being pretty leads to promotions, being demanding leads to raises, being pushy gets sales, and being respectful towards others gets your teeth kicked in.  It's science. So really, the world at large just rewards jerks.
 
2013-04-04 02:08:00 PM  
MyKingdomForYourHorse: Does it seal the deal, no but its a chink in the armor of the girls night out groups./i>

www.piccer.nl

I always tought women didn't really do larping
 
2013-04-04 02:10:25 PM  
So by the comments it would seem that "nice guys", in reality aren't very nice.  And the the guys that aren't the needy "nice guys" are still the same guys that have always been jerks.

So this must mean that all guys are jerks whether women like them or not.  Unless they are gay.
 
2013-04-04 02:17:05 PM  
My $.02:

My problem as an idiot youth was that I'd not have an immediate strong attraction to a woman -- sure, I may have had physical attraction immediately, but not the "would like to date" level of interest.  After getting to know them, ever so often my interest would bypass that level and would go straight to "WANT AS GIRLFRIEND OMG SHE'S TEH ONE" level.  And it didn't help my rejection status was pretty much 100% "OMG HOW DARE YOU LIKE ME/HER?!?!" reaction.

So, absent any good input on how to meet girls, all I had was, "Take my current Nice level and kick it to 11".

Oh, and I couldn't detect interest level from a woman to save my life -- unless they were utterly unacceptable as an option.  I had a bad phase of attracting the uber-freaks -- IQ <70, unbathed, hillbilly, crackhead, you name it.  So, there's that.

Thing is, as a former "Nice Guy" I never get the stereotype that "Nice Guys" are dishonest -- it's not as if I'd stop being nice if I'd managed to land a woman using that method.  And I never resented women for not liking me -- always knew there was something wrong with me and just hoped it wasn't permanent.

Are there "Nice Guys" out there that dropped the act after getting a girlfriend?
 
PJ-
2013-04-04 02:19:29 PM  

elchupacabra: I had a bad phase of attracting the uber-freaks -- IQ <70


There is nothing wrong with this.  They don't get caught up on things like 'no, no not on the face!'
 
2013-04-04 02:20:08 PM  
Why "nice guys" aren't nice guys:

I had a couple of guy friends growing up who ended up being into me, and I wasn't into them. Both of them acted like I was being incredibly unkind and inconsiderate when I honestly felt like it wasn't going to be there. We were good friends, but because I said "no thanks" they threw tantrums and we weren't friends after that. With the first one, we were in high school, and I just didn't feel ready to date yet. I didn't date anyone until college, so I think that was honest and fair. With the second one, he had temper issues which were tolerable in a friend but totally not in a boyfriend. Of course I couldn't say that, I just said I didn't want to date.

The only guy I dated seriously I am married to now. He's actually nice-- he is kind to people just because. Way nicer than I am, to the point where it's a bit frustrating. You're late for dinner again because you were helping someone out? But that's a minor frustration I'm happy to have.

Nice guys get girls, just not "nice guys"

\css?
 
2013-04-04 02:21:56 PM  

PJ-: elchupacabra: I had a bad phase of attracting the uber-freaks -- IQ <70

There is nothing wrong with this.  They don't get caught up on things like 'no, no not on the face!'


LOL not sure if serious.  I just can't go for women that revolt me.
 
2013-04-04 02:25:36 PM  

Grables'Daughter: I think the article was dead on. It's much easier to just hook up with someone - there are no strings, no complications, just sex.


Yaa! You are back!
 
2013-04-04 02:26:26 PM  

Qellaqan: Why "nice guys" aren't nice guys:

 We were good friends, but because I said "no thanks" they threw tantrums and we weren't friends after that.


I'm of the strong opinion that once the dating "request" is made, friendship is no longer an option.  Either you're now dating, or eventually the guy is going to slip up and make another attempt that pisses you off, or something you do innocently will be misinterpreted as "Try again, Big Boy".

Just better to go, "Oh well, I tried" and be cordial but distant after that.
 
2013-04-04 02:27:24 PM  
Ugh, that was a bit harsh.... Let's just say "Friendship after attempting to date is risky and rarely works".
 
2013-04-04 02:29:07 PM  

Nice guys finish ass.


No nudity, but possibly NSFW image.

You can be the first to my sloppy seconds.

 
PJ-
2013-04-04 02:32:14 PM  

Dahnkster: Nice guys finish ass.
No nudity, but possibly NSFW image.
You can be the first to my sloppy seconds.


I don't understand the whole thing about sloppy seconds.  I don't see what's such a turn on about 'OWOWOWOOWOWOWOWOWOW' *cry* 'it hurts so much!'
 
kab
2013-04-04 02:35:53 PM  

elchupacabra: I never get the stereotype that "Nice Guys" are dishonest


And that's because most of the generalization flying around on this (and every other thread like it on this site) is rather inaccurate when talking about nice guys vs. jerks.

Being a doormat for a chick doesn't mean you're a nice guy, it means you're a doormat, and that's a trait that likely impacts much more than just your relationship with the opposite sex. (nor is it limited to males).

Being a clingy, possessive type (also not gender limited) isn't a nice guy trait, it's more of a low self esteem / possession issue.   Very similar to how women who claim to "love a challenge" actually have possession issues.
 
kab
2013-04-04 02:36:52 PM  
possession issue = dominance issue.   Bad typing, no cookie.
 
2013-04-04 02:39:50 PM  

Gaseous Anomaly: enderthexenocide: now that i'm 33 the odds of getting laid are virtually nonexistent, since women aren't interested in a virgin my age, no matter how dashing and handsome i am

You can hire a pro to show you the ropes, so to speak.

If you're concerned about legal repercussions, hire an escort for an hour and actually just take her to dinner, talk, etc. without any discussion at all of paying for sex. (This also lets her know YOU aren't a cop). Hire her again some time later and THEN get to the lessons.

Expensive, but no cop will go to the trouble of pretending to be an escort for a whole hour for the sake of a single bust.


i46.tinypic.com

Depends on the bust.
 
2013-04-04 02:44:35 PM  

elchupacabra: Qellaqan: Why "nice guys" aren't nice guys:

 We were good friends, but because I said "no thanks" they threw tantrums and we weren't friends after that.

I'm of the strong opinion that once the dating "request" is made, friendship is no longer an option.  Either you're now dating, or eventually the guy is going to slip up and make another attempt that pisses you off, or something you do innocently will be misinterpreted as "Try again, Big Boy".

Just better to go, "Oh well, I tried" and be cordial but distant after that.


I get that some awkwardness and lack of closeness can't be avoided, especially in the short term. I felt more personally irritated because we were part of a larger group of friends both times. The first guy talked shiat about me, the second totally dropped out. I respect the second choice, but I thought it was a shame because he had trouble making friends in the first place and I wasn't trying to be an asshole.
 
2013-04-04 02:47:35 PM  

verbaltoxin: freeforever: Uh, no.  "Nice guys" are not the same as jerks.  "Nice guys" are nice guys who are nice to women and in return don't get sex from them.  They are the designated drivers, willing to pick women up from the airport at the drop of a hat or drive them home from the bar after having a few too many.  They are the guys who constantly feed women compliments they so crave, and the guys who will do manual labor and other chores for the girl when her boyfriend isn't around.  Feminists get angry when "nice guys" complain they aren't getting sex because a "nice guy's" place in society is to be the emotional tampon for women who need their friendship ie., attention.  How dare a "nice guy" ever expect anything more!

Jerks are men, usually decent men who know how to play the field and but called jerks (usually by disgruntled "nice guys") because they get laid without jumping through all the fruitless hoops mentioned above.

There's a difference between "nice guys" and jerks, and it's because women/feminists equate the two that no self-respecting man should ever settle for the "nice guy" role. You and your white-knighted efforts will never be rewarded.

Clue: you're not a nice guy. You're a titanic asshole.


Of course he isn't a nice guy. Like he said, nice guys are suckers and door mats.
 
2013-04-04 02:47:48 PM  

kab: Being a clingy, possessive type (also not gender limited) isn't a nice guy trait, it's more of a low self esteem / possession issue. Very similar to how women who claim to "love a challenge" actually have possession issues.


True, but the clingy & insecure guy sometimes (not always) packages his insecurities about himself and any possible cynicism he may carry about women in general (assuming there's compounded failures in his past romantic efforts) into one shiny, gift-wrapped "I'm a nice guy! Trust me!" presentation. His insecurities tell him his looks and lifestyle alone aren't attractive enough, and his issues with women may lead him to think being overly-available and attentive emotionally is viable "in" as a counter-weight to the perceived emotional distance Alpha Male Jackass gave her before. It's a calculated, wholly disrespectful shtick.

I'm not, and I hope everyone else, isn't trying to argue the average nice guy is totally full of sh*t and closet misogynist, but that type is absolutely out there. The above is only my label of the fake nice guy.
 
2013-04-04 02:52:06 PM  
I have another awesome guy friend who like lives in the friend zone happily. He makes it readily known that he thinks all his lady friends are smoking hot, and yes, he *would* be interested in any of them should they look his way. He is an absolute doormat, but with humor. But it's so honest and refreshing! He doesn't ever resent the rejection, it's more a, "well, I'll be here if you want anything... bow chicka wow wow..." attitude. He's my best guy friend. It sounds somewhat desperate, but it really comes off as endearing and honest. He does occasionally have success as well. Some girls think he's creepy, I guess it is a little unusual. He went to an almost all male engineering school, so maybe that has something to do with it...
 
2013-04-04 02:53:11 PM  

MyKingdomForYourHorse: unlikely: The trick, then, was figuring out your percentage honestly, so you'd know where to aim.

Also called the 8-2 rule, meaning wherever you are on the scale of 1 to 10, you can reasonably shoot for a two point gap. Meaning if your an 8, you might get a 9 or settle for a 7.

Now us sociopaths like myself however, recognize the power of social manipulation. We realize that humans are pack animals and often influenced by decisions in the group and those decisions are often about competition. For instance, when women go out they often invite their friends however invariably their friends often tend to be people either slightly or some degree less attractive than them. Friendships tend to follow that 8-2 rule as well.

So what do sociopaths do? We manipulate this by shooting not for the 9, but her friend who is an 8 or 7. We ignore the hottest one in the group and invalidate her superiority amongst her group. Essentially we take her down several levels. What this does is elevate that 7 to top of the group and any decision she makes the group follows. So if you talk to the 7 and win her charm, you've almost instantly won the charm of the group.

Does it seal the deal, no but its a chink in the armor of the girls night out groups.


I used to go for the loners who were cut out of the group because there was something wrong with them.  The good-looking ones were crazy in some way(s) but that's easily avoided by using her place and a fake phone number.
 
2013-04-04 02:53:44 PM  
The biggest problem the majority of my friends have isn't that they're aiming too high or that they're doing the "nice guys totally get laid, right?" thing, it's that they have completely unrealistic expectations or have no idea how to go about obtaining a relationship with someone.
So they'll continue to have short-lived "relationships" with as many people as it takes to find one they figure they can tolerate for more than a few weeks or months, while completely ignoring the signs that perhaps that relationship is not for them.
 
2013-04-04 03:02:25 PM  

Killer Cars: I hope everyone else, isn't trying to argue the average nice guy is totally full of sh*t and closet misogynist


You are hoping in vain. There is no reason to be an average nice guy because you will always be treated as if you are a "nice guy". See this thread or any like it for examples. Every time a guy says "I never get laid", it will be interpereted as "I am entitled to be laid", whether that is what he meant or not.

/not a nice guy
//or "nice guy" for that matter
 
2013-04-04 03:03:15 PM  

elchupacabra: Are there "Nice Guys" out there that dropped the act after getting a girlfriend?


Nah, they just got bitter while still single.

It largely boils down to, you see jerks having lots of sex, this causes envy, which ferments as it sits.  Envy -> jealousy -> bitter resentment.   The resentment is directed mostly at the sex-having competition males, but also at the no-sex-giving target females.

But that's not ALL, it's never just one thing.  There are plenty of ladies who take advantage of "nice guys" repeatedly, and when the nice guy finally GIVES UP because she won't fark him, he moves on, looks afield, and suddenly he's a big ol' jerky jerkface for not continuing to be her doormat.  But that's the beauty part, if you're a selfish asshole, it's always someone else's fault, whether it's not getting sex or not buying you dinner or not putting up with your stupid bullshiat every damn day.

As for me?  Part of me wants to join the dating game, but "protestant work ethic" indoctrinated into me for decades makes it hard to play games when there's still work to be done.
 
2013-04-04 03:05:21 PM  
Maybe we should just go back to arranged marriages.
 
2013-04-04 03:06:50 PM  

Qellaqan: I have another awesome guy friend who like lives in the friend zone happily.


I was sorta "that guy" during college. I was getting enough (not a lot mind you, but what I considered enough to keep my sanity) sexual attention during school, but I had ridiculously handsome roommates who in turn befriended and hooked up with ridiculously attractive females whom I sort of naturally befriended as well. Naturally, it was those girls I was more fascinated by. It does have its perks though; in a completely selfish, carnal way, hanging out with attractive people in public settings sort of raises your own profile.

In guy speak, hanging out with 9s and 10s can easily help you land an 8 when normally you'd be happy with a 6 or 7.

/Jesus, there's no way to convey that last sentence without sounding like a tool
//but, this was college; I think the lot of us WERE tools at that age.
 
2013-04-04 03:07:25 PM  

Sensual Tyrannosaurus: Grables'Daughter: I think the article was dead on. It's much easier to just hook up with someone - there are no strings, no complications, just sex.

It seems like such an empty pursuit though.


All activity is empty of any real meaning.  "Meaning" has no reality; it does not exist independent of one who defines it.  Were there no humans, there would be no meanings. Meanings are illusions.
 
2013-04-04 03:09:09 PM  

cgraves67: Didn't you get the memo? Sexual revolutions are for attractive people.


Then why do we have so many stories of homeless meth heads farking on park picnic tables?
 
2013-04-04 03:12:05 PM  

Qellaqan: I have another awesome guy friend who like lives in the friend zone happily. He makes it readily known that he thinks all his lady friends are smoking hot, and yes, he *would* be interested in any of them should they look his way. He is an absolute doormat, but with humor. But it's so honest and refreshing! He doesn't ever resent the rejection, it's more a, "well, I'll be here if you want anything... bow chicka wow wow..." attitude. He's my best guy friend. It sounds somewhat desperate, but it really comes off as endearing and honest. He does occasionally have success as well. Some girls think he's creepy, I guess it is a little unusual. He went to an almost all male engineering school, so maybe that has something to do with it...


Awesome when it works!
 
2013-04-04 03:12:32 PM  
Back in college girls thought I was a snob because I wouldnt talk to them. In reality I was just VERY shy. After a while I got out of my shell and dated more had a few hookups and it was fun. What made me really come out of my shell was working in radio, I was almost treated like a rock star even as an intern and I didnt have to say much. The one problem with that is I was so busy whoring around I missed a few great chances with some great women.  So after I got laid off things kinda dried up and outside of radio they frown on you hooking up with coworkers in the office, what the hell! But after a some years of dating around I found a great girl. Funny thing is Ive know her for 10 years she was just too shy to tell me how she felt about me cause I always seemed "too cool" for her. That made me laugh. Only thing that stinks is she is taking care of her grandma in Nashville and wont be back until may/june. But good thing about that all the filthy texts and pics she sends.
 
PJ-
2013-04-04 03:14:11 PM  

Killer Cars: Qellaqan: I have another awesome guy friend who like lives in the friend zone happily.

I was sorta "that guy" during college. I was getting enough (not a lot mind you, but what I considered enough to keep my sanity) sexual attention during school, but I had ridiculously handsome roommates who in turn befriended and hooked up with ridiculously attractive females whom I sort of naturally befriended as well. Naturally, it was those girls I was more fascinated by. It does have its perks though; in a completely selfish, carnal way, hanging out with attractive people in public settings sort of raises your own profile.

In guy speak, hanging out with 9s and 10s can easily help you land an 8 when normally you'd be happy with a 6 or 7.

/Jesus, there's no way to convey that last sentence without sounding like a tool
//but, this was college; I think the lot of us WERE tools at that age.


Don't worry, fat/ugly girls have been doing this the dawn of time, but also the pretty ones surround themselves with uglies so they look even better by comparison.
 
2013-04-04 03:14:57 PM  

BarkingUnicorn: Sensual Tyrannosaurus: Grables'Daughter: I think the article was dead on. It's much easier to just hook up with someone - there are no strings, no complications, just sex.

It seems like such an empty pursuit though.

All activity is empty of any real meaning.  "Meaning" has no reality; it does not exist independent of one who defines it.  Were there no humans, there would be no meanings. Meanings are illusions.


Well, I "meant" to get in her pants....
 
2013-04-04 03:14:59 PM  

BarkingUnicorn: cgraves67: Didn't you get the memo? Sexual revolutions are for attractive people.
Then why do we have so many stories of homeless meth heads farking on park picnic tables?


Poor impulse control.  Just like with a lot of  regular hookups, but it doesn't sound as  good when you're ugly.
 
2013-04-04 03:16:05 PM  

Killer Cars: ms_lara_croft: Then there is the fact that "nice guys" and jerks are the same thing.

Yeah, I'd be wary of any dude who would gladly self-identify as a "nice guy". There's plenty of honest-to-goodness nice guys out in the world, but they come in all different shapes, sizes and styles. Then you have the "nice" guys, where "nice" is really code for "attempts to use emotional manipulation to get what they want" and their idea of "nice" is not based in altruism or generosity whatsoever.


Bad boys are sharks, nice guys are anglerfish.  Just different predatory strategies.
 
2013-04-04 03:18:03 PM  

elchupacabra: Qellaqan: I have another awesome guy friend who like lives in the friend zone happily. He makes it readily known that he thinks all his lady friends are smoking hot, and yes, he *would* be interested in any of them should they look his way. He is an absolute doormat, but with humor. But it's so honest and refreshing! He doesn't ever resent the rejection, it's more a, "well, I'll be here if you want anything... bow chicka wow wow..." attitude. He's my best guy friend. It sounds somewhat desperate, but it really comes off as endearing and honest. He does occasionally have success as well. Some girls think he's creepy, I guess it is a little unusual. He went to an almost all male engineering school, so maybe that has something to do with it...

Awesome when it works!


Yea, I have to proffer stories of my friends successes. I mostly scowled at boys til I liked one well enough. Then I awkwardly threw myself towards that path with some vodka. This is the stuff of marriages. All my examples are dude friends cuz my lady friends range from ridiculously unsuccessful lesbian to ridiculously unsuccessful widowed single mother. Those are both kind of bummers, though maybe one more than the other?
 
2013-04-04 03:19:47 PM  

Duke Phillips' Singing Bears: hitlersbrain: Remember (it's one of the hardest things for guys to get thru their heads and causes the most anguish) girls like sex about 1/1000th as much as you and it's not very important to them.

This guy is lying to you to try to get you off the playing field.

Most women would rather have a good stiff one in them than be doing anything else. They just want that good stiff one to be attached to someone they like, and they want it to stay stiff until they're finished.


I would add to this that women in that 18-24 demographic are highly invested in the opinions of their peers and in Homeland we are obsessed with sluts and shame and like and such as. So while many young women are craving caulk, even casual, recreational caulk, far fewer are willing to let their peers know about it lest they be labeled "whoooores."
 
2013-04-04 03:20:49 PM  

BarkingUnicorn: Killer Cars: ms_lara_croft: Then there is the fact that "nice guys" and jerks are the same thing.

Yeah, I'd be wary of any dude who would gladly self-identify as a "nice guy". There's plenty of honest-to-goodness nice guys out in the world, but they come in all different shapes, sizes and styles. Then you have the "nice" guys, where "nice" is really code for "attempts to use emotional manipulation to get what they want" and their idea of "nice" is not based in altruism or generosity whatsoever.

Bad boys are sharks, nice guys are anglerfish.  Just different predatory strategies.


This implies way more knowledge of fish hunting habits than I possess. In my feeble fish-keeping experiences, my sharks killed themselves by running into aquarium furniture. Am I close? Bludgeoning themselves to death against their chosen items of obsession/ladies?
 
2013-04-04 03:21:27 PM  

Qellaqan: elchupacabra: Qellaqan: I have another awesome guy friend who like lives in the friend zone happily. He makes it readily known that he thinks all his lady friends are smoking hot, and yes, he *would* be interested in any of them should they look his way. He is an absolute doormat, but with humor. But it's so honest and refreshing! He doesn't ever resent the rejection, it's more a, "well, I'll be here if you want anything... bow chicka wow wow..." attitude. He's my best guy friend. It sounds somewhat desperate, but it really comes off as endearing and honest. He does occasionally have success as well. Some girls think he's creepy, I guess it is a little unusual. He went to an almost all male engineering school, so maybe that has something to do with it...

Awesome when it works!

Yea, I have to proffer stories of my friends successes. I mostly scowled at boys til I liked one well enough. Then I awkwardly threw myself towards that path with some vodka. This is the stuff of marriages. All my examples are dude friends cuz my lady friends range from ridiculously unsuccessful lesbian to ridiculously unsuccessful widowed single mother. Those are both kind of bummers, though maybe one more than the other?


How does one fail at being lesbian?  Besides accidentally a penis or two....
 
2013-04-04 03:22:43 PM  

AngryJailhouseFistfark: Duke Phillips' Singing Bears: hitlersbrain: Remember (it's one of the hardest things for guys to get thru their heads and causes the most anguish) girls like sex about 1/1000th as much as you and it's not very important to them.

This guy is lying to you to try to get you off the playing field.

Most women would rather have a good stiff one in them than be doing anything else. They just want that good stiff one to be attached to someone they like, and they want it to stay stiff until they're finished.

I would add to this that women in that 18-24 demographic are highly invested in the opinions of their peers and in Homeland we are obsessed with sluts and shame and like and such as. So while many young women are craving caulk, even casual, recreational caulk, far fewer are willing to let their peers know about it lest they be labeled "whoooores."


encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
What a woman craving caulk might look like.
 
2013-04-04 03:22:55 PM  

elchupacabra: Qellaqan: elchupacabra: Qellaqan: I have another awesome guy friend who like lives in the friend zone happily. He makes it readily known that he thinks all his lady friends are smoking hot, and yes, he *would* be interested in any of them should they look his way. He is an absolute doormat, but with humor. But it's so honest and refreshing! He doesn't ever resent the rejection, it's more a, "well, I'll be here if you want anything... bow chicka wow wow..." attitude. He's my best guy friend. It sounds somewhat desperate, but it really comes off as endearing and honest. He does occasionally have success as well. Some girls think he's creepy, I guess it is a little unusual. He went to an almost all male engineering school, so maybe that has something to do with it...

Awesome when it works!

Yea, I have to proffer stories of my friends successes. I mostly scowled at boys til I liked one well enough. Then I awkwardly threw myself towards that path with some vodka. This is the stuff of marriages. All my examples are dude friends cuz my lady friends range from ridiculously unsuccessful lesbian to ridiculously unsuccessful widowed single mother. Those are both kind of bummers, though maybe one more than the other?

How does one fail at being lesbian?  Besides accidentally a penis or two....


Probably by wearing shoes that aren't sensible, e.g. 6" stilettos.
 
2013-04-04 03:23:29 PM  

elchupacabra: Qellaqan: elchupacabra: Qellaqan: I have another awesome guy friend who like lives in the friend zone happily. He makes it readily known that he thinks all his lady friends are smoking hot, and yes, he *would* be interested in any of them should they look his way. He is an absolute doormat, but with humor. But it's so honest and refreshing! He doesn't ever resent the rejection, it's more a, "well, I'll be here if you want anything... bow chicka wow wow..." attitude. He's my best guy friend. It sounds somewhat desperate, but it really comes off as endearing and honest. He does occasionally have success as well. Some girls think he's creepy, I guess it is a little unusual. He went to an almost all male engineering school, so maybe that has something to do with it...

Awesome when it works!

Yea, I have to proffer stories of my friends successes. I mostly scowled at boys til I liked one well enough. Then I awkwardly threw myself towards that path with some vodka. This is the stuff of marriages. All my examples are dude friends cuz my lady friends range from ridiculously unsuccessful lesbian to ridiculously unsuccessful widowed single mother. Those are both kind of bummers, though maybe one more than the other?

How does one fail at being lesbian?  Besides accidentally a penis or two....


Living at home at 27, being too crazy for other lesbians, and simulating lesbian relationships via the sims?
 
2013-04-04 03:24:12 PM  

elchupacabra: How does one fail at being lesbian? Besides accidentally a penis or two....


Lack of flannel and Subaru
 
2013-04-04 03:24:51 PM  
"Jerk" is just another word for "useless" and "nice" is just another word for "useful."
 
2013-04-04 03:25:53 PM  

Qellaqan: and simulating lesbian relationships via the sims


yikes

elchupacabra: How does one fail at being lesbian?


hates softball and/or roller derby
 
2013-04-04 03:26:11 PM  

OgreMagi: elchupacabra: Qellaqan: elchupacabra: Qellaqan: I have another awesome guy friend who like lives in the friend zone happily. He makes it readily known that he thinks all his lady friends are smoking hot, and yes, he *would* be interested in any of them should they look his way. He is an absolute doormat, but with humor. But it's so honest and refreshing! He doesn't ever resent the rejection, it's more a, "well, I'll be here if you want anything... bow chicka wow wow..." attitude. He's my best guy friend. It sounds somewhat desperate, but it really comes off as endearing and honest. He does occasionally have success as well. Some girls think he's creepy, I guess it is a little unusual. He went to an almost all male engineering school, so maybe that has something to do with it...

Awesome when it works!

Yea, I have to proffer stories of my friends successes. I mostly scowled at boys til I liked one well enough. Then I awkwardly threw myself towards that path with some vodka. This is the stuff of marriages. All my examples are dude friends cuz my lady friends range from ridiculously unsuccessful lesbian to ridiculously unsuccessful widowed single mother. Those are both kind of bummers, though maybe one more than the other?

How does one fail at being lesbian?  Besides accidentally a penis or two....

Probably by wearing shoes that aren't sensible, e.g. 6" stilettos.


Lol. Right after she came out she started wearing all her brother's hand-me-downs, and made sure we noticed! This is the serious kind of coming out, not the kind for pussies!
 
2013-04-04 03:27:47 PM  

Andrew Wiggin: Qellaqan: and simulating lesbian relationships via the sims

yikes


I guess you might be a failed anything if you simulate it via the sims.
\....failed writer >.>
\\for now!
 
2013-04-04 03:29:28 PM  

Rapmaster2000: theurge14: Where did I say I was in need of that advice?

I was taking exception to your blanket statement that nice guys aren't honest.

OK, but you aren't nice so I'm not sure what you're proving.

Don't you think it's possible that women aren't being honest when they list all the reasons nice guys creep them out when it's simply a matter of attraction?  "All you care about is if she's hot" is the common refrain guys hear, wouldn't you say it's dishonest for women to say that looks don't matter to them too?

A simple experiment can be made.  Get three people, one ugly guy, one attractive guy, and one girl on her birthday. Have both guys give the girl the same birthday present.  Observe her reaction.

Yeah, they don't really mean that, just like you don't really mean it when you say intelligence is more important than looks.  Way to crack the case wide-open, Sgt. Hooker.  Congrats on catching up to the men in this thread who don't have problems with women.


Your hostility is puzzling.
 
2013-04-04 03:38:05 PM  
I'm in my late 20s, and on the surface I'd consider myself a reasonably attractive guy. I'm tall and slim, I dress well, and I shave and shower every day. I've got an education, a good job, a decent car, my own place, and lots of free time. To this day I've never gotten past the first date, of which I've only ever been on a couple. It's been over five years since the last one. I am a virgin.

I tried the "nice guy" thing in highschool and early college, and switched to the brutally honest thing after that. No dice. I'm socially barren, a depressed alcoholic, and my childhood was a nightmare. I don't enjoy doing anything sober. I have nothing pleasant to talk about, and that doesn't work well for meeting new people.

I had hoped to have a kid someday, and I don't like the idea of my never having been in a relationship, but I'm realizing that I can't be bothered to care anymore. My vodka keeps me company, and I'm okay with that.
 
2013-04-04 03:45:27 PM  

screwzloos: I'm in my late 20s, and on the surface I'd consider myself a reasonably attractive guy. I'm tall and slim, I dress well, and I shave and shower every day. I've got an education, a good job, a decent car, my own place, and lots of free time. To this day I've never gotten past the first date, of which I've only ever been on a couple. It's been over five years since the last one. I am a virgin.

I tried the "nice guy" thing in highschool and early college, and switched to the brutally honest thing after that. No dice. I'm socially barren, a depressed alcoholic, and my childhood was a nightmare. I don't enjoy doing anything sober. I have nothing pleasant to talk about, and that doesn't work well for meeting new people.

I had hoped to have a kid someday, and I don't like the idea of my never having been in a relationship, but I'm realizing that I can't be bothered to care anymore. My vodka keeps me company, and I'm okay with that.


Date alcoholics?
 
2013-04-04 03:49:17 PM  
In all honesty though...how is one able to ever get good at it if you don't do it?

/practice!
 
2013-04-04 03:51:13 PM  

elchupacabra: Date alcoholics?


The bars here are disgusting.
 
2013-04-04 03:56:53 PM  

screwzloos: I'm socially barren, a depressed alcoholic, and my childhood was a nightmare. I don't enjoy doing anything sober. I have nothing pleasant to talk about, and that doesn't work well for meeting new people.


I think some rehab and a stint in therapy would do you some good.
 
2013-04-04 04:01:17 PM  

screwzloos: elchupacabra: Date alcoholics?

The bars here are disgusting.


Find some miserable girl with a negative outlook like yours. I'd guess slightly overweight, with piercings and/or tattoos.
 
2013-04-04 04:09:34 PM  
This thread got really depressing after I left, not that I was doing much to help it beforehand.
 
2013-04-04 04:12:10 PM  

Magnanimous_J: screwzloos: I'm socially barren, a depressed alcoholic, and my childhood was a nightmare. I don't enjoy doing anything sober. I have nothing pleasant to talk about, and that doesn't work well for meeting new people.

I think some rehab and a stint in therapy would do you some good.


During college I took three years of bi-weekly professional therapy that ended with me dropping out of my classes and being placed into an inpatient program, and (unrelated) I finished 365 days of going cold turkey this past December.  I am "untreatable", and being sobersignificantly lowered my quality of life.

Thanks for the suggestion, though.
 
2013-04-04 04:15:05 PM  

groppet: Back in college girls thought I was a snob because I wouldnt talk to them. In reality I was just VERY shy. After a while I got out of my shell and dated more had a few hookups and it was fun. What made me really come out of my shell was working in radio, I was almost treated like a rock star even as an intern and I didnt have to say much. The one problem with that is I was so busy whoring around I missed a few great chances with some great women.  So after I got laid off things kinda dried up and outside of radio they frown on you hooking up with coworkers in the office, what the hell! But after a some years of dating around I found a great girl. Funny thing is Ive know her for 10 years she was just too shy to tell me how she felt about me cause I always seemed "too cool" for her. That made me laugh. Only thing that stinks is she is taking care of her grandma in Nashville and wont be back until may/june. But good thing about that all the filthy texts and pics she sends.


Proof or it didn't happen

/just kidding man
 
2013-04-04 04:28:00 PM  
I don't know what I should be.

Pretty sure I'm not a jerk.  I know a few jerks, and I act nothing like them.  Well, I can get pissed about a few things, but not to a degree where I could be seen as a problem.  I'm scared to call myself a nice guy, because of the image that has.  And I'm shy, to boot - it's hard to get me to open up, because I'm afraid that women will lose interest or I'll get one who wants to screw me over.  Please don't ask me about approaching someone - I'm still working on that.

Frankly, I just try not to be a dick, and I'm just hoping that at some point, someone attractive will take notice of me not being a dick and we'll link up and things will be awesome.  That would be great.
 
2013-04-04 04:31:11 PM  

screwzloos: elchupacabra: Date alcoholics?

The bars here are disgusting.


find a fellow traveler through a few trips to the bars or a few drunk friends. then the two of you can stay home, get loaded, eat bad food, watch shiatty tv, fark a bunch, etc.  just don't have any kids.

/but i think you knew that no kids part already.
 
2013-04-04 04:31:58 PM  
Probably the most famous example of the woman-jerk-nice guy meme is the way the Harry Potter saga turned out.
 
2013-04-04 04:35:46 PM  

Killer Cars: ms_lara_croft: Then there is the fact that "nice guys" and jerks are the same thing.

Yeah, I'd be wary of any dude who would gladly self-identify as a "nice guy". There's plenty of honest-to-goodness nice guys out in the world, but they come in all different shapes, sizes and styles. Then you have the "nice" guys, where "nice" is really code for "attempts to use emotional manipulation to get what they want" and their idea of "nice" is not based in altruism or generosity whatsoever.


I thought of myself as a "nice" guy who couldn't get a girl until my early 20's. Once I realized that girls do want a nice guy, and not a frickin spineless puppydog type personality, who was "too nice", I've had some success.

Enough that I'm getting married soon!
 
2013-04-04 04:45:33 PM  

res_nihil: [25.media.tumblr.com image 500x667]


holy shiat i know that guy!!!!!!

where did you find this???????/
 
2013-04-04 04:48:58 PM  

UncleStumpy: I'm getting married soon!


My condolences.
 
2013-04-04 04:55:34 PM  

2MS: Andrew Wiggin: 2MS: Grables'Daughter: LeroyBourne: The author should have just thrown it out and said no strings attached sex is easy, but relationships are hard, so lets just discretely bang.

But that's exactly what I got out of the article.

Hey, nice to see you around. You make things more interesting.

imho, kinda the opposite.

Well, I kinda missed you too. I've been hanging out on TFD, and it got old quick. How is TMB?


I think she is still lurking to see if the waters have settled and it is safe for her to rAWturn, i mean return.
 
2013-04-04 05:25:48 PM  
Women, like men, want someone attractive. The extra stuff (personality, career, transportation, etc.) just helps you.
Want to get laid? I learned everything I know from ZZ Top.

Get a haircut, shave your face, put on deodorant, brush your teeth, buy a plain (no pattern) dress shirt, a plain pair of dress pants, some okay dress shoes, plain watch and don't stop smiling like your life depended on it. Make eye contact with the lady (keeping smiling!) and do one nod. If she smiles -- go try your luck.

Also, once you're talking with a woman watch your ticks! Do not tap your fingers, shake/bounce your leg, twirl your hair and do your best to keep eye contact (women like to be focused it)
 
2013-04-04 06:10:19 PM  

OgreMagi: What is this "hookup culture" people are speaking of?

/I haven't had a date since January.
//sob


Dude, I haven't had sex in two years. YEARS.
 
2013-04-04 06:11:34 PM  

BarkingUnicorn: Killer Cars: ms_lara_croft: Then there is the fact that "nice guys" and jerks are the same thing.

Yeah, I'd be wary of any dude who would gladly self-identify as a "nice guy". There's plenty of honest-to-goodness nice guys out in the world, but they come in all different shapes, sizes and styles. Then you have the "nice" guys, where "nice" is really code for "attempts to use emotional manipulation to get what they want" and their idea of "nice" is not based in altruism or generosity whatsoever.

Bad boys are sharks, nice guys are anglerfish.  Just different predatory strategies.


I liked this.
 
2013-04-04 06:14:03 PM  

PJ-: elchupacabra: I had a bad phase of attracting the uber-freaks -- IQ <70

There is nothing wrong with this.  They don't get caught up on things like 'no, no not on the face!'


This was Ben Franklin's actual strategy. He sealed a treaty with France by doing this.
 
2013-04-04 06:24:44 PM  

megarian: OgreMagi: What is this "hookup culture" people are speaking of?

/I haven't had a date since January.
//sob

Dude, I haven't had sex in two years. YEARS.


That's because you haven't come over to my place.
 
2013-04-04 06:30:22 PM  

megarian: OgreMagi: What is this "hookup culture" people are speaking of?

/I haven't had a date since January.
//sob

Dude, I haven't had sex in two years. YEARS.


I just looked at your profile. If you've had a 2 year dry spell, that's on you sweetheart. You could probably secure a wedding proposal faster than an average chick could secure a credit card.
 
2013-04-04 06:41:46 PM  

Magnanimous_J: megarian: OgreMagi: What is this "hookup culture" people are speaking of?

/I haven't had a date since January.
//sob

Dude, I haven't had sex in two years. YEARS.

I just looked at your profile. If you've had a 2 year dry spell, that's on you sweetheart. You could probably secure a wedding proposal faster than an average chick could secure a credit card.


See, there you go being a nice guy.  I think.
 
2013-04-04 06:44:04 PM  

megarian: OgreMagi: What is this "hookup culture" people are speaking of?

/I haven't had a date since January.
//sob

Dude, I haven't had sex in two years. YEARS.


/Checks Profile
//shrugs

Must be a Detroit thing?  I'd suggest moving.  Except maybe not near screwzloos, unless you love vodak.
 
2013-04-04 07:01:52 PM  

Magnanimous_J: megarian: OgreMagi: What is this "hookup culture" people are speaking of?

/I haven't had a date since January.
//sob

Dude, I haven't had sex in two years. YEARS.

I just looked at your profile. If you've had a 2 year dry spell, that's on you sweetheart. You could probably secure a wedding proposal faster than an average chick could secure a credit card.


I'm guessing that either that's not her real picture (she's really a 350lbs black guy) or she's completely bat shiat crazy.  I mean stabby on the first date crazy.

Meg, which is it?

/or she's too busy being a college student, which means she's doing college completely wrong
 
2013-04-04 07:09:35 PM  

OgreMagi: Magnanimous_J: megarian: OgreMagi: What is this "hookup culture" people are speaking of?

/I haven't had a date since January.
//sob

Dude, I haven't had sex in two years. YEARS.

I just looked at your profile. If you've had a 2 year dry spell, that's on you sweetheart. You could probably secure a wedding proposal faster than an average chick could secure a credit card.

I'm guessing that either that's not her real picture (she's really a 350lbs black guy) or she's completely bat shiat crazy.  I mean stabby on the first date crazy.

Meg, which is it?

/or she's too busy being a college student, which means she's doing college completely wrong


Oh, wait.  It's the sharp knees.  She's hosed; some send her a starter cat basket so she can get started early.

/ducks
 
2013-04-04 07:47:39 PM  

OgreMagi: Magnanimous_J: megarian: OgreMagi: What is this "hookup culture" people are speaking of?

/I haven't had a date since January.
//sob

Dude, I haven't had sex in two years. YEARS.

I just looked at your profile. If you've had a 2 year dry spell, that's on you sweetheart. You could probably secure a wedding proposal faster than an average chick could secure a credit card.

I'm guessing that either that's not her real picture (she's really a 350lbs black guy) or she's completely bat shiat crazy.  I mean stabby on the first date crazy.

Meg, which is it?

/or she's too busy being a college student, which means she's doing college completely wrong


I am batshiat crazy.

And 350 lbs black man.

But mostly batshiat crazy.
 
2013-04-04 07:47:53 PM  

elchupacabra: megarian: OgreMagi: What is this "hookup culture" people are speaking of?

/I haven't had a date since January.
//sob

Dude, I haven't had sex in two years. YEARS.

/Checks Profile
//shrugs

Must be a Detroit thing?  I'd suggest moving.  Except maybe not near screwzloos, unless you love vodak.


I'd share my vodka with her.
 
2013-04-04 07:50:23 PM  

megarian: OgreMagi: Magnanimous_J: megarian: OgreMagi: What is this "hookup culture" people are speaking of?

/I haven't had a date since January.
//sob

Dude, I haven't had sex in two years. YEARS.

I just looked at your profile. If you've had a 2 year dry spell, that's on you sweetheart. You could probably secure a wedding proposal faster than an average chick could secure a credit card.

I'm guessing that either that's not her real picture (she's really a 350lbs black guy) or she's completely bat shiat crazy.  I mean stabby on the first date crazy.

Meg, which is it?

/or she's too busy being a college student, which means she's doing college completely wrong

I am batshiat crazy.

And 350 lbs black man.

But mostly batshiat crazy.


Crazy I can deal with.  The fat black dude part, not so much.
 
2013-04-04 07:50:30 PM  

elchupacabra: OgreMagi: Magnanimous_J: megarian: OgreMagi: What is this "hookup culture" people are speaking of?

/I haven't had a date since January.
//sob

Dude, I haven't had sex in two years. YEARS.

I just looked at your profile. If you've had a 2 year dry spell, that's on you sweetheart. You could probably secure a wedding proposal faster than an average chick could secure a credit card.

I'm guessing that either that's not her real picture (she's really a 350lbs black guy) or she's completely bat shiat crazy.  I mean stabby on the first date crazy.

Meg, which is it?

/or she's too busy being a college student, which means she's doing college completely wrong

Oh, wait.  It's the sharp knees.  She's hosed; some send her a starter cat basket so she can get started early.

/ducks


Look, I've been trying to get the goddamn cat started for hours but after I put in the oil/gas mixture and pulled the cord, it just got mad and died.

(The two year thing was mostly because I move a lot and I'm completely socially stupid.)
 
2013-04-04 07:52:07 PM  

megarian: I'm completely socially stupid.


Welcome to my world.
 
2013-04-04 07:52:16 PM  
I gotta blame a lot of the John Hughes/Brat Pack movies for this; in the end, the "Duckie" character seems to have a chance at *something*. It seems a motif that was played upon is the girl ends up seeing the value in the not-as-flashy-but-more-genuine guy in the end.

I mean, most girls LIKE Ross, but want to fark Joey (or possible, Chandler)
 
2013-04-04 07:54:20 PM  

screwzloos: elchupacabra: megarian: OgreMagi: What is this "hookup culture" people are speaking of?

/I haven't had a date since January.
//sob

Dude, I haven't had sex in two years. YEARS.

/Checks Profile
//shrugs

Must be a Detroit thing?  I'd suggest moving.  Except maybe not near screwzloos, unless you love vodak.

I'd share my vodka with her.


If by vodka you mean whiskey, I'm in.
 
2013-04-04 07:55:50 PM  

OgreMagi: Magnanimous_J: megarian: OgreMagi: What is this "hookup culture" people are speaking of?

/I haven't had a date since January.
//sob

Dude, I haven't had sex in two years. YEARS.

I just looked at your profile. If you've had a 2 year dry spell, that's on you sweetheart. You could probably secure a wedding proposal faster than an average chick could secure a credit card.

I'm guessing that either that's not her real picture (she's really a 350lbs black guy) or she's completely bat shiat crazy.  I mean stabby on the first date crazy.

Meg, which is it?

/or she's too busy being a college student, which means she's doing college completely wrong


...and apparently I HAVE been doing college wrong. I only remember the last 1/4 of it.

Go MSU?
 
2013-04-04 08:01:07 PM  

megarian: screwzloos: elchupacabra: megarian: OgreMagi: What is this "hookup culture" people are speaking of?

/I haven't had a date since January.
//sob

Dude, I haven't had sex in two years. YEARS.

/Checks Profile
//shrugs

Must be a Detroit thing?  I'd suggest moving.  Except maybe not near screwzloos, unless you love vodak.

I'd share my vodka with her.

If by vodka you mean whiskey, I'm in.


How convenient; I have lots of both.
 
2013-04-04 08:01:13 PM  
....and screw you guys. Being a 350 pound black man gets me more ass than all you combined. I get college chicks with daddy issues. Those are the BEST kind of issues.
 
2013-04-04 08:03:53 PM  

screwzloos: megarian: screwzloos: elchupacabra: megarian: OgreMagi: What is this "hookup culture" people are speaking of?

/I haven't had a date since January.
//sob

Dude, I haven't had sex in two years. YEARS.

/Checks Profile
//shrugs

Must be a Detroit thing?  I'd suggest moving.  Except maybe not near screwzloos, unless you love vodak.

I'd share my vodka with her.

If by vodka you mean whiskey, I'm in.

How convenient; I have lots of both.


Arkansas? Well, I'm feeling Arkansassy.

Keep your doors unlocked. This will only hurt for a moment*.

*that's what I say to all the girls or boys. It's a lie and a trap.
 
2013-04-04 08:08:03 PM  

megarian: screwzloos: megarian: screwzloos: elchupacabra: megarian: OgreMagi: What is this "hookup culture" people are speaking of?

/I haven't had a date since January.
//sob

Dude, I haven't had sex in two years. YEARS.

/Checks Profile
//shrugs

Must be a Detroit thing?  I'd suggest moving.  Except maybe not near screwzloos, unless you love vodak.

I'd share my vodka with her.

If by vodka you mean whiskey, I'm in.

How convenient; I have lots of both.

Arkansas? Well, I'm feeling Arkansassy.

Keep your doors unlocked. This will only hurt for a moment*.

*that's what I say to all the girls or boys. It's a lie and a trap.


You're off by a few degrees of latitude. AK is a little further from home than AR.

/my door is always unlocked
 
2013-04-04 08:09:50 PM  

screwzloos: megarian: screwzloos: megarian: screwzloos: elchupacabra: megarian: OgreMagi: What is this "hookup culture" people are speaking of?

/I haven't had a date since January.
//sob

Dude, I haven't had sex in two years. YEARS.

/Checks Profile
//shrugs

Must be a Detroit thing?  I'd suggest moving.  Except maybe not near screwzloos, unless you love vodak.

I'd share my vodka with her.

If by vodka you mean whiskey, I'm in.

How convenient; I have lots of both.

Arkansas? Well, I'm feeling Arkansassy.

Keep your doors unlocked. This will only hurt for a moment*.

*that's what I say to all the girls or boys. It's a lie and a trap.

You're off by a few degrees of latitude. AK is a little further from home than AR.

/my door is always unlocked


Aw damn. My brain got excited and saw AR. I lived there and actually enjoyed it.

Too many fire ants, though.
 
2013-04-04 08:18:19 PM  
I've been laughing too hard. I just "misplaced" a bunch of statistical information on my computer that I can't fake...and I need it or work. Jerks.
 
2013-04-04 08:22:21 PM  
That article could have been written by my husband and I've felt that way myself although I lost my virginity earlier than he did.  Mostly, I find that most people in their teens and twenties are still figure things out relationship-wise.  Some are figuring it out by banging everything that moves.  Some are figuring things out by having a series of crappy relationships and some are still trying to figure out how to get into a relationship at all.  There isn't any one path.

Also:

\Nice guys:

UncleStumpy: Killer Cars: ms_lara_croft: Then there is the fact that "nice guys" and jerks are the same thing.

Yeah, I'd be wary of any dude who would gladly self-identify as a "nice guy". There's plenty of honest-to-goodness nice guys out in the world, but they come in all different shapes, sizes and styles. Then you have the "nice" guys, where "nice" is really code for "attempts to use emotional manipulation to get what they want" and their idea of "nice" is not based in altruism or generosity whatsoever.

I thought of myself as a "nice" guy who couldn't get a girl until my early 20's. Once I realized that girls do want a nice guy, and not a frickin spineless puppydog type personality, who was "too nice", I've had some success.

Enough that I'm getting married soon!


Very much THIS.  My husband is the nicest guy I know, but he's also one of the most confident.  It's sexy as hell.
 
2013-04-04 08:35:57 PM  
As Richard Brautigan put it "If I were dead, I couldn't attract a female fly". One thing is for sure: I've put that old saw about "It will happen when you least expect it" permanently to rest. You couldn't possibly expect anything to happen less than I have in the twenty four years that have passed since my only girlfriend dumped me and left town, and still nothing. Profile photo is me that year.

Fark it. I just bought a new motorcycle. Riding it is fun, and takes my mind off what a complete failure I am. If I hit a deer at high speed, no great loss.
 
2013-04-04 08:36:57 PM  

megarian: screwzloos: elchupacabra: megarian: OgreMagi: What is this "hookup culture" people are speaking of?

/I haven't had a date since January.
//sob

Dude, I haven't had sex in two years. YEARS.

/Checks Profile
//shrugs

Must be a Detroit thing?  I'd suggest moving.  Except maybe not near screwzloos, unless you love vodak.

I'd share my vodka with her.

If by vodka you mean whiskey, I'm in.


FYI, I run a single malt house.  Glenlivet is the norm.

/watches as all of the other farkers toss out their offers, too
 
2013-04-04 08:38:07 PM  

megarian: I've been laughing too hard. I just "misplaced" a bunch of statistical information on my computer that I can't fake...and I need it or work. Jerks.


Sure you can fake it.  You're a woman, it's a natural ability to you.

/I'm going to pay for that
 
2013-04-04 08:52:38 PM  

OgreMagi: megarian: screwzloos: elchupacabra: megarian: OgreMagi: What is this "hookup culture" people are speaking of?

/I haven't had a date since January.
//sob

Dude, I haven't had sex in two years. YEARS.

/Checks Profile
//shrugs

Must be a Detroit thing?  I'd suggest moving.  Except maybe not near screwzloos, unless you love vodak.

I'd share my vodka with her.

If by vodka you mean whiskey, I'm in.

FYI, I run a single malt house.  Glenlivet is the norm.

/watches as all of the other farkers toss out their offers, too


I was considering offering her a round trip ticket to come to Alaska sometime this summer, but that would probably send the wrong vibe. So yeah, single malt... or whatever.

/who am I kidding, I usually drink Crown Royal.
 
2013-04-04 08:59:45 PM  

screwzloos: OgreMagi: megarian: screwzloos: elchupacabra: megarian: OgreMagi: What is this "hookup culture" people are speaking of?

/I haven't had a date since January.
//sob

Dude, I haven't had sex in two years. YEARS.

/Checks Profile
//shrugs

Must be a Detroit thing?  I'd suggest moving.  Except maybe not near screwzloos, unless you love vodak.

I'd share my vodka with her.

If by vodka you mean whiskey, I'm in.

FYI, I run a single malt house.  Glenlivet is the norm.

/watches as all of the other farkers toss out their offers, too

I was considering offering her a round trip ticket to come to Alaska sometime this summer, but that would probably send the wrong vibe. So yeah, single malt... or whatever.

/who am I kidding, I usually drink Crown Royal.


I'm twice her age, so any serious offer I make would be met with either "ewwwwww" or "POLICE!"
 
2013-04-04 09:06:33 PM  
*looks at her Black Velvet*

Today was a good day.
 
2013-04-04 09:07:42 PM  

OgreMagi: screwzloos: OgreMagi: megarian: screwzloos: elchupacabra: megarian: OgreMagi: What is this "hookup culture" people are speaking of?

/I haven't had a date since January.
//sob

Dude, I haven't had sex in two years. YEARS.

/Checks Profile
//shrugs

Must be a Detroit thing?  I'd suggest moving.  Except maybe not near screwzloos, unless you love vodak.

I'd share my vodka with her.

If by vodka you mean whiskey, I'm in.

FYI, I run a single malt house.  Glenlivet is the norm.

/watches as all of the other farkers toss out their offers, too

I was considering offering her a round trip ticket to come to Alaska sometime this summer, but that would probably send the wrong vibe. So yeah, single malt... or whatever.

/who am I kidding, I usually drink Crown Royal.

I'm twice her age, so any serious offer I make would be met with either "ewwwwww" or "POLICE!"


I only call the police when I would be implicated if I didn't.
 
2013-04-04 09:15:59 PM  

megarian: OgreMagi: screwzloos: OgreMagi: megarian: screwzloos: elchupacabra: megarian: OgreMagi: What is this "hookup culture" people are speaking of?

/I haven't had a date since January.
//sob

Dude, I haven't had sex in two years. YEARS.

/Checks Profile
//shrugs

Must be a Detroit thing?  I'd suggest moving.  Except maybe not near screwzloos, unless you love vodak.

I'd share my vodka with her.

If by vodka you mean whiskey, I'm in.

FYI, I run a single malt house.  Glenlivet is the norm.

/watches as all of the other farkers toss out their offers, too

I was considering offering her a round trip ticket to come to Alaska sometime this summer, but that would probably send the wrong vibe. So yeah, single malt... or whatever.

/who am I kidding, I usually drink Crown Royal.

I'm twice her age, so any serious offer I make would be met with either "ewwwwww" or "POLICE!"

I only call the police when I would be implicated if I didn't.


Can you handle a chainsaw while only slightly drunk?
 
2013-04-04 09:17:25 PM  

OgreMagi: megarian: OgreMagi: screwzloos: OgreMagi: megarian: screwzloos: elchupacabra: megarian: OgreMagi: What is this "hookup culture" people are speaking of?

/I haven't had a date since January.
//sob

Dude, I haven't had sex in two years. YEARS.

/Checks Profile
//shrugs

Must be a Detroit thing?  I'd suggest moving.  Except maybe not near screwzloos, unless you love vodak.

I'd share my vodka with her.

If by vodka you mean whiskey, I'm in.

FYI, I run a single malt house.  Glenlivet is the norm.

/watches as all of the other farkers toss out their offers, too

I was considering offering her a round trip ticket to come to Alaska sometime this summer, but that would probably send the wrong vibe. So yeah, single malt... or whatever.

/who am I kidding, I usually drink Crown Royal.

I'm twice her age, so any serious offer I make would be met with either "ewwwwww" or "POLICE!"

I only call the police when I would be implicated if I didn't.

Can you handle a chainsaw while only slightly drunk?


fark. Yes.
 
2013-04-04 09:21:58 PM  

megarian: OgreMagi: megarian: OgreMagi: screwzloos: OgreMagi: megarian: screwzloos: elchupacabra: megarian: OgreMagi: What is this "hookup culture" people are speaking of?

/I haven't had a date since January.
//sob

Dude, I haven't had sex in two years. YEARS.

/Checks Profile
//shrugs

Must be a Detroit thing?  I'd suggest moving.  Except maybe not near screwzloos, unless you love vodak.

I'd share my vodka with her.

If by vodka you mean whiskey, I'm in.

FYI, I run a single malt house.  Glenlivet is the norm.

/watches as all of the other farkers toss out their offers, too

I was considering offering her a round trip ticket to come to Alaska sometime this summer, but that would probably send the wrong vibe. So yeah, single malt... or whatever.

/who am I kidding, I usually drink Crown Royal.

I'm twice her age, so any serious offer I make would be met with either "ewwwwww" or "POLICE!"

I only call the police when I would be implicated if I didn't.

Can you handle a chainsaw while only slightly drunk?

fark. Yes.


Good.  Because sometimes disposing of evidence can be messy.  Let me know when you are in town.
 
2013-04-04 09:25:24 PM  

megarian: OgreMagi:


There's something oddly disturbing, yet inexplicably awesome about your exchanges right now.
 
2013-04-04 09:30:52 PM  

megarian: Dude, I haven't had sex in two years. YEARS.


Married too, I see...
 
2013-04-04 09:32:50 PM  

Gaseous Anomaly: megarian: Dude, I haven't had sex in two years. YEARS.

Married too, I see...


Not that I know of, but I went through some weird phases and I did "miss a flight" out of Mexico for like...a month...
 
2013-04-04 09:37:02 PM  

OgreMagi: megarian: OgreMagi: megarian: OgreMagi: screwzloos: OgreMagi: megarian: screwzloos: elchupacabra: megarian: OgreMagi: What is this "hookup culture" people are speaking of?

/I haven't had a date since January.
//sob

Dude, I haven't had sex in two years. YEARS.

/Checks Profile
//shrugs

Must be a Detroit thing?  I'd suggest moving.  Except maybe not near screwzloos, unless you love vodak.

I'd share my vodka with her.

If by vodka you mean whiskey, I'm in.

FYI, I run a single malt house.  Glenlivet is the norm.

/watches as all of the other farkers toss out their offers, too

I was considering offering her a round trip ticket to come to Alaska sometime this summer, but that would probably send the wrong vibe. So yeah, single malt... or whatever.

/who am I kidding, I usually drink Crown Royal.

I'm twice her age, so any serious offer I make would be met with either "ewwwwww" or "POLICE!"

I only call the police when I would be implicated if I didn't.

Can you handle a chainsaw while only slightly drunk?

fark. Yes.

Good.  Because sometimes disposing of evidence can be messy.  Let me know when you are in town.


Deal. And I have extra tarps from a previous thread... So the mess is not a problem, if not portable! Kind of like fast food burritos.

And you don't dispose evidence. You BBQ it.
 
2013-04-04 09:56:09 PM  

Clutch2013: megarian: OgreMagi:

There's something oddly disturbing, yet inexplicably awesome about your exchanges right now.


I like oddly disturbing.

It makes church more fun on holidays.
 
2013-04-04 10:05:05 PM  
farm3.staticflickr.com
 
2013-04-04 10:25:48 PM  
"Romance Always Involves Failure and Despair"
...and sex doesn't?
 
2013-04-04 10:59:36 PM  

megarian: Clutch2013: megarian: OgreMagi:

There's something oddly disturbing, yet inexplicably awesome about your exchanges right now.

I like oddly disturbing.

It makes church more fun on holidays.


I'm not allowed in church anymore.  They didn't appreciate my Jesus jack-in-the-box codpiece.
 
2013-04-04 11:04:27 PM  

OgreMagi: megarian: Clutch2013: megarian: OgreMagi:

There's something oddly disturbing, yet inexplicably awesome about your exchanges right now.

I like oddly disturbing.

It makes church more fun on holidays.

I'm not allowed in church anymore.  They didn't appreciate my Jesus jack-in-the-box codpiece.


Pssssh people get so worked up over modern art.

And jack-in-the-box? Who doesn't like surprises?!

Also, "Jesus Jack-in-the-Box": band name or porno...you decide!
 
2013-04-04 11:24:25 PM  

megarian: OgreMagi: megarian: Clutch2013: megarian: OgreMagi:

There's something oddly disturbing, yet inexplicably awesome about your exchanges right now.

I like oddly disturbing.

It makes church more fun on holidays.

I'm not allowed in church anymore.  They didn't appreciate my Jesus jack-in-the-box codpiece.

Pssssh people get so worked up over modern art.

And jack-in-the-box? Who doesn't like surprises?!

Also, "Jesus Jack-in-the-Box": band name or porno...you decide!


BTW, your email address is broken.  Not stalking you.  I was sending you information about something.

/really, I'm not a stalker
//BTW, nice outfit
///oh wait ... crap
////slashies
 
2013-04-04 11:36:11 PM  

OgreMagi: megarian: OgreMagi: megarian: Clutch2013: megarian: OgreMagi:

There's something oddly disturbing, yet inexplicably awesome about your exchanges right now.

I like oddly disturbing.

It makes church more fun on holidays.

I'm not allowed in church anymore.  They didn't appreciate my Jesus jack-in-the-box codpiece.

Pssssh people get so worked up over modern art.

And jack-in-the-box? Who doesn't like surprises?!

Also, "Jesus Jack-in-the-Box": band name or porno...you decide!

BTW, your email address is broken.  Not stalking you.  I was sending you information about something.

/really, I'm not a stalker
//BTW, nice outfit
///oh wait ... crap
////slashies


You're silly. I just got an email from my library

megarian+87
At hotmail.
Dot com.

Remove the "+".

POOF!

And joke's on you! I'm not wearing an outfit!!! Because SPRING! And hookup culture!!!
 
2013-04-05 02:07:39 AM  
So do the kids all have such a short attention span that they've already forgotten about "rape culture"? It hasn't been mentioned once.

Also, as someone who lived in Alaska for 31 years, the best piece of advice I can give about dating in Alaska is to move.

Which is too bad, it's really beautiful and amazing up there in ways that are incomprehensible even in other beautiful and amazing places. Got more my first winter in Portland than all 31 years up there, and it wasn't because I suddenly developed game. That winter would have been a slow week for most people I know here.
 
2013-04-05 09:42:44 AM  
I gotta start Farking at night, I miss all the good shiat.
 
2013-04-05 10:20:42 AM  
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
 
2013-04-05 11:15:47 AM  

Qellaqan: I have another awesome guy friend who like lives in the friend zone happily. He makes it readily known that he thinks all his lady friends are smoking hot, and yes, he *would* be interested in any of them should they look his way. He is an absolute doormat, but with humor. But it's so honest and refreshing! He doesn't ever resent the rejection, it's more a, "well, I'll be here if you want anything... bow chicka wow wow..." attitude. He's my best guy friend. It sounds somewhat desperate, but it really comes off as endearing and honest. He does occasionally have success as well. Some girls think he's creepy, I guess it is a little unusual. He went to an almost all male engineering school, so maybe that has something to do with it...


Two things that engineering schools are very, very good at:

1)  Teaching us "you will never, ever, ever succeed with hot chicks, ever, stop wasting your time."
2)  High-bandwidth porn.

My GF and I knew each other for a couple years as part of the same circle of friends.  We would never have tried dating if we hadn't both gotten drunk at a party and revealed the mutual attraction (which each had kept hidden from the other).

Up until that point, I had resigned myself to living single with a really sore arm.
 
2013-04-05 08:19:49 PM  

Magnanimous_J: enderthexenocide: i'm still a virgin at age 33, and yeah that really sucks and it sure as hell isn't by choice.  i look back at my college years and just cringe when i realize what an idiot i was.  you know what really killed my chances of ever getting laid in college?  i don't drink alcohol and i only hung out with my little group of friends.  of course i never got laid!  there were plenty of women there that would have been interested in me if i had just been more social.  go to a party, have a few drinks, find a girl who is by herself and start talking to her.  sex and relationships are not that complicated, but my god was i clueless in college.  and since i've still never had sex, you could argue i'm still pretty clueless right now.  but my opportunities for sex dwindled away as soon as i graduated, because i was no longer surrounded by lots of women my age that i already had things in common with.  and now that i'm 33 the odds of getting laid are virtually nonexistent, since women aren't interested in a virgin my age, no matter how dashing and handsome i am.  what really hurts me though isn't the fact i've never had sex, it's that i want to have children very badly, and every day that dream gets farther and farther from ever becoming a reality.


Calm down. To steal a joke from Alec Baldwin, you're 33, that's like 16 in woman years. If you can keep your hair and not get too fat, you'll be physically desirable to the mainstream well into your 50's.


The "V" issue obviously bothers you. I get that. What you need to do is FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T TELL ANY WOMEN. Then, get your first one out of the way ASAP. Troll the 2AM bar scene, bus station or bowling alley. Whatever it takes to get the first one done. It won't be good. I just took up golf and I'll tell you, it was embarrassing when the high school girls team practicing nearby was giggling at me missing the ball over and over again with my weird, awkward jerky swing. Now I've got a couple range sessions under my belt and someone watching would assume I'm only medium terrible. But I'm smacking that ball every time now.


You're behind the curve, for sure. You'll need to put actual effort into catching up. Read books, be attentive, pay attention to what you are doing. 99% of your competition isn't putting this kind of effort into their game. But if you get up, stop feeling sorry for yourself and take a risk or two, in a couple years' time, you'll be just fine.


Haha, yeah, not really. If you have a lot of money, you'll have an advantage as a middle aged male (all the disingenuous gold diggers will target you). If you're a middle aged, average man, you're pretty much in the same boat as the rest of us. You Farkers know how this works...rich man, young hottie woman. Otherwise, you better be fit, have a good career and personality if you want to attract a partner, who will be similar in those respects. 33 for a man is not automatically 16 in woman years. However, both men and women can do things to make themselves more attractive to a partner.
 
2013-04-07 02:08:44 AM  

PJ-: Stop putting women on a pedestal, they want to have sex just as much as you do.


This is absolutely true... however, their scope is a bit narrower than the male of the species.
We ran an experiment in one of my psych classes having to deal with male female interaction, and how we as species choose mates for marriage or for farking.  We all have heard of the "alpha male" whom the females want for procreation, and the "beta male" they want for raising the offspring, so that's what we tested.
We took a group of 1000 pictures from former classes (the professor had been running this experiment for nearly 10 years), 500 male and 500 female 8 by 10 black and white, shoulders up on one side and full length on the other. Everyone wore jeans and a t-shirt (I had my pic taken for future classes). They ranged in age from 17 to 45, with a spread roughly equal to the on-campus student body in racial makeup.

We took them to the student center and pinned them up for five days in one of the ballrooms, then had pads of those tiny post it notes in blue and pink for heteros. Gays and lesbians were given green and yellow post its, and those were figured into the results as well. The subjects who came in knew nothing about the people in the pictures, just their appearance. To make sure it was random, we arranged them in alphabetical order.

Out of almost 2500 post its (2,446), only three of the 500 pictures of females displayed got no post it notes. A graph we made showed the distribution of post-its, which resembled a small hill with the crest slightly to the left of center... there were two pics that had the most notes, 23 and 34 notes respectively. The ideal was a caucasian woman, about 18.2 years old, medium height (1.6m or about 5'9") and about 54 kilos or 120 lbs in weight.

Of the 500 male pics we put up, 104 got no notes, and another 23 got only one note. Nine of the pics were covered with notes that spilled off the sides, with the winner getting 67 notes... the prof called them his "stud farm". The graph for them had a steeply sloped hill with the peak right of center. The ideal was a caucasian male, 77 kilos (170 lbs), 1.85m (73") tall, and 23 years old. There was also more likely to be writing on the post-its left on the males pictures.. we found four phone numbers.

So yes, your assertion that females want sex just as much, if not more than the male of the species is entirely correct, it's with a much more limited range of men for both procreation and for the old in and out. This is what, unfortunately, makes "nice guys".

/got to use the stuff from my stats class
//one of the most fun classes I ever took
 
2013-04-07 09:06:08 PM  

Grandemadaca: 1960s: Age of Free Love - I'm a child
1970s: Sex, Drugs and Rock n Roll - I'm  pimply pre-teen more interested in Star Trek.
1980-2000s: BAM! Aids. Casual sex nose dives. - NOW I'm old enough and ain't getting much.
2013: Hookup Culture - Married 25 years. Ain't getting much.

FML


Same here.
In the 60's all I wanted was a bottle, then GIJoe action figures (they weren't dolls, dammit!)
In the 70's I was a pre teen and teen just trying to figure out why my voice was so funny and WTF IS WITH THIS HAIR?!?! and too young to party
In the 80s and 90's AAAAAIIIIDDDDSSSS made me almost too scared to even beat off. Almost.
And now in the 'oughts all the good sh*t has passed me by.
Meanwhile the boomers that came ahead of me smoked everything, drank everything, f*cked everybody, and used everything up before telling the tail end boomers/genXers like me "Just Say NO!"

/too late for the party
//too early to die
///FML
 
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