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(The Atlantic)   America's "hookup culture" isn't a problem, and the reason people aren't having as much promiscuous sex they'd like is because rejection is a big part of romance, especially when you're ugly   (theatlantic.com) divider line 283
    More: PSA, promiscuities, history of human sexuality, suicide rates, Oberlin, Puritanism, Mordor, cultures  
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8239 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Apr 2013 at 11:15 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-04 09:53:31 AM  
This is going to be the thread where everyone brags about their sexual prowess in college and no one else believes them, right?
 
2013-04-04 10:08:01 AM  
A couple roommates and I worked out a theory when we were all undergrads.

If you rate looks on a scale from 1 to 100, everyone I know tries to aim for the 90-100% just by appearance. Generally, the 90-100 chase each other and that all works fine for them, but for the people running around in the 50-60 range, they aim for 95 and get rejected. If you're in the 50-60 range and aim 50-60, you will have a lot more success. Still not complete success; your fellow 50-60s still want their 95s and think they're settling when they get 85s, but you'll have a lot better luck than if  you aim at that top 10%.

The trick, then, was figuring out your percentage honestly, so you'd know where to aim.

It seemed to work for the roomies pretty well. But then they were all 70+. It may have worked for me too, but I already had the girlfriend that I've been with for 15 years now so I have no idea.

/she totally breaks the theory... she's top 10% and I'm somewhere around a 30...
//The theory is only for quick hook-ups; for long term relationships those rules are out the window.
///Looks still allow you to get to the point where personality matters.
 
2013-04-04 10:09:25 AM  

Andromeda: This is going to be the thread where everyone brags about their sexual prowess in college and no one else believes them, right?


No, I expect this thread to look a lot more like this:
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
 
2013-04-04 10:12:20 AM  
Yup.
 
2013-04-04 11:03:34 AM  
Is this going to be the thread where nice guys come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?
 
2013-04-04 11:14:33 AM  
I'm looking forward to CSB's that amend TFA headline to

Romance Always Involves Only Consists of Failure and Despair
 
2013-04-04 11:15:45 AM  
FTFA:  While at school, I dated no one; I didn't even kiss anyone, all through college and beyond...until I met my wife, in fact, in my late 20s.

Studman, is that you???
 
2013-04-04 11:17:00 AM  
Then I guess I'm one romantic mother<censored>
 
2013-04-04 11:17:34 AM  
The Atlantic: apologist for whatever self-destructive behavior is fascinating to the Left at this moment.
 
2013-04-04 11:20:48 AM  

sodomizer: The Atlantic: apologist for whatever self-destructive behavior is fascinating to the Left at this moment.


ATTENTION ALL FARKERS:  THIS THREAD IS NOW A POLITICAL FREE-FOR-ALL.  REPEAT: THIS THREAD IS NOW A POLITICAL FREE-FOR-ALL.  PLEASE COMPORT YOURSELVES ACCORDINGLY.  THANK YOU.
 
2013-04-04 11:21:27 AM  

unlikely: The trick, then, was figuring out your percentage honestly, so you'd know where to aim.


Also called the 8-2 rule, meaning wherever you are on the scale of 1 to 10, you can reasonably shoot for a two point gap. Meaning if your an 8, you might get a 9 or settle for a 7.

Now us sociopaths like myself however, recognize the power of social manipulation. We realize that humans are pack animals and often influenced by decisions in the group and those decisions are often about competition. For instance, when women go out they often invite their friends however invariably their friends often tend to be people either slightly or some degree less attractive than them. Friendships tend to follow that 8-2 rule as well.

So what do sociopaths do? We manipulate this by shooting not for the 9, but her friend who is an 8 or 7. We ignore the hottest one in the group and invalidate her superiority amongst her group. Essentially we take her down several levels. What this does is elevate that 7 to top of the group and any decision she makes the group follows. So if you talk to the 7 and win her charm, you've almost instantly won the charm of the group.

Does it seal the deal, no but its a chink in the armor of the girls night out groups.
 
2013-04-04 11:22:03 AM  
I had tons of sex in college by being a jerk all the time. I had all the sex anyone had on campus, because I would just run around punching nice guys and peeing on women.
 
2013-04-04 11:23:08 AM  

ms_lara_croft: Is this going to be the thread where nice guys come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?


lolfeminist.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-04-04 11:23:13 AM  

ms_lara_croft: Is this going to be the thread where "nice guys" come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?


Fixt
 
2013-04-04 11:23:14 AM  

Andromeda: This is going to be the thread where everyone brags about their sexual prowess in college and no one else believes them, right?


Well, not to brag, but there was this one towel in my dorm room, and...
 
2013-04-04 11:23:24 AM  

Andromeda: This is going to be the thread where everyone brags about their sexual prowess in college and no one else believes them, right?


On the one hand, I would have liked to have sex with more people in college.
On the other hand, I never got the crotch-rot.

Serial monogamy FTW, I guess.
 
2013-04-04 11:23:28 AM  

sodomizer: The Atlantic: apologist for whatever self-destructive behavior is fascinating to the Left at this moment.


Says a Farker named "sodomizer".
 
2013-04-04 11:23:30 AM  
I think the article was dead on. It's much easier to just hook up with someone - there are no strings, no complications, just sex.
 
2013-04-04 11:25:56 AM  

Grables'Daughter: I think the article was dead on. It's much easier to just hook up with someone - there are no strings, no complications, just sex.


... No Amazon wish lists...
 
2013-04-04 11:26:07 AM  

Grables'Daughter: I think the article was dead on. It's much easier to just hook up with someone - there are no strings, no complications, just sex.


Hi... how you soon?
 
2013-04-04 11:26:46 AM  

unlikely: A couple roommates and I worked out a theory when we were all undergrads.

If you rate looks on a scale from 1 to 100, everyone I know tries to aim for the 90-100% just by appearance. Generally, the 90-100 chase each other and that all works fine for them, but for the people running around in the 50-60 range, they aim for 95 and get rejected. If you're in the 50-60 range and aim 50-60, you will have a lot more success. Still not complete success; your fellow 50-60s still want their 95s and think they're settling when they get 85s, but you'll have a lot better luck than if  you aim at that top 10%.

The trick, then, was figuring out your percentage honestly, so you'd know where to aim.

It seemed to work for the roomies pretty well. But then they were all 70+. It may have worked for me too, but I already had the girlfriend that I've been with for 15 years now so I have no idea.

/she totally breaks the theory... she's top 10% and I'm somewhere around a 30...
//The theory is only for quick hook-ups; for long term relationships those rules are out the window.
///Looks still allow you to get to the point where personality matters.


way back when The Cult of the Dead Cow released a girl hacking howto, I followed it and did pretty well. One of the more odd things that happened to me was I got really involved in a band's fan forum to the point the band made me a moderator. It was amazing how many girls hooked up with me just because of my reputation on that forum.
 
2013-04-04 11:26:49 AM  

ms_lara_croft: Is this going to be the thread where nice guys come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?


This is the tread where all the guys are going to click on ms_lara_croft's profile because she's a female, and then we shall follow the link to her blog hoping to find naughty pictures, only to be disappointed that instead there are naughty stories, and reading just takes up too much time when all you want is to knock one out quickly before work.
 
2013-04-04 11:29:08 AM  

Grables'Daughter: I think the article was dead on. It's much easier to just hook up with someone - there are no strings, no complications, just sex.


Hey GD, long time no see. You are missed.
 
2013-04-04 11:30:13 AM  

Krieghund: Andromeda: This is going to be the thread where everyone brags about their sexual prowess in college and no one else believes them, right?

On the one hand, I would have liked to have sex with more people in college.
On the other hand, I never got the crotch-rot.

Serial monogamy FTW, I guess.


Well at least you got to use both hands. That's almost like having sex with two different people.
 
2013-04-04 11:30:21 AM  

meat0918: sodomizer: The Atlantic: apologist for whatever self-destructive behavior is fascinating to the Left at this moment.

Says a Farker named "sodomizer".


i think most people have him on ignore...

sodomizer = his goal is to ass fark every thread he posts in...
 
2013-04-04 11:31:11 AM  
Didn't you get the memo? Sexual revolutions are for attractive people.
 
2013-04-04 11:31:20 AM  

Grables'Daughter: I think the article was dead on. It's much easier to just hook up with someone - there are no strings, no complications, just sex.


It seems like such an empty pursuit though.
 
2013-04-04 11:31:57 AM  
The reason people aren't having as much promiscuous sex as they'd like is the age-old "prison sex" joke:   The sex you want, you can't get.  The sex you can get, you don't want.
 
2013-04-04 11:32:19 AM  
Abe Vigoda's Ghost: Grables'Daughter: I think the article was dead on. It's much easier to just hook up with someone - there are no strings, no complications, just sex.

Hey GD, long time no see. You are missed.


Thank you for that.
 
2013-04-04 11:32:31 AM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: ms_lara_croft: Is this going to be the thread where nice guys come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?

This is the tread where all the guys are going to click on ms_lara_croft's profile because she's a female, and then we shall follow the link to her blog hoping to find naughty pictures, only to be disappointed that instead there are naughty stories, and reading just takes up too much time when all you want is to knock one out quickly before work.


See, that's what I was doing wrong... I should have done that before going to work,
 
2013-04-04 11:32:54 AM  
Sensual Tyrannosaurus: Grables'Daughter: I think the article was dead on. It's much easier to just hook up with someone - there are no strings, no complications, just sex.

It seems like such an empty pursuit though.


Doesn't matter, had sex.
 
2013-04-04 11:33:24 AM  

Sensual Tyrannosaurus: Grables'Daughter: I think the article was dead on. It's much easier to just hook up with someone - there are no strings, no complications, just sex.

It seems like such an empty pursuit though.


don't over think it, you're missing the "no complications" part heh
 
2013-04-04 11:34:10 AM  

Sensual Tyrannosaurus: It seems like such an empty pursuit though.


It is

A satisfying empty pursuit, but empty nonetheless.
 
2013-04-04 11:34:24 AM  

Sensual Tyrannosaurus: Grables'Daughter: I think the article was dead on. It's much easier to just hook up with someone - there are no strings, no complications, just sex.

It seems like such an empty pursuit though.


Surprising comment from a Tyrannosaurus...
i.imgur.com
 
2013-04-04 11:35:08 AM  
chasd00: Sensual Tyrannosaurus: Grables'Daughter: I think the article was dead on. It's much easier to just hook up with someone - there are no strings, no complications, just sex.

It seems like such an empty pursuit though.

don't over think it, you're missing the "no complications" part heh


THIS.
 
2013-04-04 11:35:13 AM  

ms_lara_croft: Is this going to be the thread where nice guys come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?


Nope. Because we nice guys get the girls after they realize the other guy is a jerk.
 
2013-04-04 11:36:55 AM  
Is anybody really 'too ugly' to fark? Couldn't you just turn out the lights? Go in doggystyle with no eye contact. Couldn't a foot fetish just stick his junk between a fugly girl's soles? I know there "fat" per se, but I'm not talking talking about poking your wiener in the folds of her skin.  Perhaps fry some bacon to get you 'in the mood' if she's got fried egg tits. You don't have enough game to talk her into a farking latex hood or a Nixon mask for chrisakes? And what about the butt? I mean, even if it's all pimply you could play connect the dots, or pretend your a blind guy reading braille while you drive up the Hershey Highway ... you know, getting off on the Poop-Chute Route. Too ugly, I say? Why do you think God invented drugs and booze? Why I'll bet an epileptic girl or a shaky Parkinson's patient would be more fun than a sack full of kittens.
Even an amputee can make a crease.
 
2013-04-04 11:38:29 AM  
WelldeadLink: ms_lara_croft: Is this going to be the thread where nice guys come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?

Nope. Because we nice guys get the girls after they realize the other guy is a jerk.


Some of us will never realize this, sadly.
 
2013-04-04 11:39:12 AM  
DNRTFA, but I can still get drunk and fark biatches, right?

Because I really don't want to buy cable.
 
2013-04-04 11:39:35 AM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: ms_lara_croft: Is this going to be the thread where nice guys come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?

This is the tread where all the guys are going to click on ms_lara_croft's profile because she's a female, and then we shall follow the link to her blog hoping to find naughty pictures, only to be disappointed that instead there are naughty stories, and reading just takes up too much time when all you want is to knock one out quickly before work.


LOL but they clicked. Just skip to the naughty bits. You can still knock one out quickly before work.
 
2013-04-04 11:40:46 AM  

chasd00: Sensual Tyrannosaurus: Grables'Daughter: I think the article was dead on. It's much easier to just hook up with someone - there are no strings, no complications, just sex.

It seems like such an empty pursuit though.

don't over think it, you're missing the "no complications" part heh


I suppose so. I'm a very, shall we say, emotionally withdrawn person. I'm not one to express myself (mentally or physically) to someone I don't know very well. The whole concept of casual relations and hook ups is weird to me.
 
2013-04-04 11:40:52 AM  

BSABSVR: ms_lara_croft: Is this going to be the thread where "nice guys" come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?

Fixt


I was wondering when someone would put "nice guys" in scare quotes, since I didn't do it. :)
 
2013-04-04 11:40:57 AM  
megarian: Because I really don't want to buy cable.

wat
 
2013-04-04 11:41:50 AM  

Dahnkster: Is anybody really 'too ugly' to fark? Couldn't you just turn out the lights? Go in doggystyle with no eye contact. Couldn't a foot fetish just stick his junk between a fugly girl's soles? I know there "fat" per se, but I'm not talking talking about poking your wiener in the folds of her skin.  Perhaps fry some bacon to get you 'in the mood' if she's got fried egg tits. You don't have enough game to talk her into a farking latex hood or a Nixon mask for chrisakes? And what about the butt? I mean, even if it's all pimply you could play connect the dots, or pretend your a blind guy reading braille while you drive up the Hershey Highway ... you know, getting off on the Poop-Chute Route. Too ugly, I say? Why do you think God invented drugs and booze? Why I'll bet an epileptic girl or a shaky Parkinson's patient would be more fun than a sack full of kittens.
Even an amputee can make a crease.


That was beautiful.
 
2013-04-04 11:42:06 AM  
The idea that there's a universal scale of human attractiveness is still bunk, has always been.  You can say all you want about a built upper body, jawline, etc. (men) or hip width, bust, etc. (women) with regard to evolutionary biology and be right but still miss the point.  People just have preferences, and they're all unique and strange.

I still find myself oddly aroused by women with relatively poor posture because I have been in love with someone who slouched a bit.  This is the kind of thing I'm talking about.The guy has a point, though.  If you're unfulfilled, you're unfulfilled.  It doesn't matter if that's so because you are a 40-year-old virgin, or because you've been heartlessly banging away at a new 20-something every week since you hit puberty.  If it isn't meaningful to you, you're going to fill up with poison, bile, bitterness and frustration either way.  And there's probably a lot of middle-of-the-road between those two that seems pretty normative, outwardly, that can still lead to the same thing, depending on the person and their needs.It really does boil down to 'Know Thyself'.  Much more than that is too sweeping of a generalization, I think.  Good thing most of us, myself included, are so damned pathologically bad at doing that...
 
2013-04-04 11:42:07 AM  

Grables'Daughter: WelldeadLink: ms_lara_croft: Is this going to be the thread where nice guys come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?

Nope. Because we nice guys get the girls after they realize the other guy is a jerk.

Some of us will never realize this, sadly.


Then there is the fact that "nice guys" and jerks are the same thing.
 
2013-04-04 11:43:49 AM  
So I was supposed to regret college? I can't understand the articles on hook up culture. I didn't get rejected enough, so apparently I played conservatively.
 
2013-04-04 11:44:54 AM  
As if to illustrate my point, I have the sudden urge to delete my posts and immediately regret even posting them.
 
2013-04-04 11:46:08 AM  
David Heatley went to Oberlin around when I did, and screwed everything that moved, according to his comics memoir My Sexual History. That Oberlin wasn't my Oberlin, though.  While at school, I dated no one; I didn't even kiss anyone, all through college and beyond...until I met my wife, in fact, in my late 20s.

If it makes you feel better, I'm pretty sure most of the girls at Oberlin are lesbians until they graduate and start dating the son of their father's dentistry partner.
 
2013-04-04 11:46:35 AM  

ms_lara_croft: Grables'Daughter: WelldeadLink: ms_lara_croft: Is this going to be the thread where nice guys come out and say women won't go out with them because all women want only jerks?

Nope. Because we nice guys get the girls after they realize the other guy is a jerk.

Some of us will never realize this, sadly.

Then there is the fact that "nice guys" and jerks are the same thing.


some of us nice guys aren't jerks.  Of course, we're also not likely to bemoan the fact that girls only date jerks, because we'd be jerks for saying that... but still.
 
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