If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(BBC)   Are you bald? Congratulations, you're gonna have a heart attack. Probably from seeing a small Wookie worth of hair in the drain every morning   (bbc.co.uk) divider line 42
    More: Scary, British Heart Foundation, relative risk, coronary heart disease, male pattern baldness, University of Tokyo, sex steroid, insulin resistance  
•       •       •

4568 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Apr 2013 at 8:18 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



42 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-04-04 08:05:05 AM
Ha, suckers.

/look like Fabio 2 months away from the barber
 
2013-04-04 08:27:47 AM
I still have mine, though it's turning gray. I never liked having red hair until it wasn't red anymore.
 
2013-04-04 08:31:39 AM
If you're bald, where is the hair in the drain coming from?
 
2013-04-04 08:31:49 AM
I need to move to a warmer climate. All my head hair is migrating to my back.
 
2013-04-04 08:36:24 AM
Wookiee*
 
2013-04-04 08:36:57 AM

sotua: I need to move to a warmer climate. All my head hair is migrating to my back.


Soon you'll be able to do a majestic comb-over.
 
2013-04-04 08:37:38 AM
Long before the heart attack can take hold, I'm sure suicide gets most of these bald gods of de facto infertility.  The finally turn on the bathroom light one morning, usually keeping it off to avoid looking at themselves while they shave, and realize that there are so many men with a full head of hair on the planet that why would a woman ever consider them?  They aren't rich because after their losing bout with genetic chemotherapy, they can't get a decent job or a promotion.  They aren't worldly because they spend all their free time looking through hair plug magazines and rubbing eskimo come on their heads instead of improving themselves.  And they sure as hell aren't good in bed, unless there's a group of women out there who get intense pleasure out of watching a guy jack off half a dozen times in row.  They realize, standing there with the razor in their hands which they'll use to make themselves even balder so as to feel in some kind of control over it, these men realize that they're like the dead skin cells of the human race, used up and rubbed off by the nagging itch of propositioned women's eye rolls and mocking laughs.  So, they do what men do when they realize there's no hope of happiness -- they slide the straight razor across their jugular, spilling all their red self loathing down their bare and mockingly hairy chests.  At least then they can look at themselves in the mirror one last time and know they've stood up for themselves.
 
2013-04-04 08:38:33 AM
However, the researchers said the risks were less than for smoking or obesity.

The British Heart Foundation said men should focus on their waistline, not their hairline.


Yeah, maybe because baldness is a symptom while being fat is a cause?
 
2013-04-04 08:38:58 AM

gopher321: /look like Fabio 2 months away from the barber


Bullshiat. Fabio has never seen a barber.

Also the link on the bottom of the page says "Men who had started to develop bald spots on the top of their heads as well as receding hairlines had a 29% to 45% reduction in the risk of prostate cancer." so all men are screwed either way.
 
2013-04-04 08:39:21 AM

Kyro: Wookiee*


Also, wouldn't a small wookiee be an ewok? Hair-wise I mean...
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-04-04 08:40:19 AM
I should get some Rogaine to reduce my heart attack risk.
 
2013-04-04 08:43:48 AM


Good luck with that bum heart, baldy.
 
2013-04-04 08:44:47 AM
Daw it done ate my image
 
2013-04-04 08:49:21 AM
Could be. Seems like just about every bald guy I know is also a type A personality who does an excellent impersonation of an unstoppable machine- then somewheres between 40 and 50  major systems start breaking down dramatically.
 
2013-04-04 08:49:27 AM

spentmiles: Long before the heart attack can take hold, I'm sure suicide gets most of these bald gods of de facto infertility.  The finally turn on the bathroom light one morning, usually keeping it off to avoid looking at themselves while they shave, and realize that there are so many men with a full head of hair on the planet that why would a woman ever consider them?  They aren't rich because after their losing bout with genetic chemotherapy, they can't get a decent job or a promotion.  They aren't worldly because they spend all their free time looking through hair plug magazines and rubbing eskimo come on their heads instead of improving themselves.  And they sure as hell aren't good in bed, unless there's a group of women out there who get intense pleasure out of watching a guy jack off half a dozen times in row.  They realize, standing there with the razor in their hands which they'll use to make themselves even balder so as to feel in some kind of control over it, these men realize that they're like the dead skin cells of the human race, used up and rubbed off by the nagging itch of propositioned women's eye rolls and mocking laughs.  So, they do what men do when they realize there's no hope of happiness -- they slide the straight razor across their jugular, spilling all their red self loathing down their bare and mockingly hairy chests.  At least then they can look at themselves in the mirror one last time and know they've stood up for themselves.


Have you considered Rogaine?
 
2013-04-04 08:57:18 AM
Oh, so Patrick Stewart is dead already?
 
2013-04-04 08:57:24 AM
damn im bal.......


im coming to join you elizabeth
 
2013-04-04 08:58:23 AM
I wish I knew about this study before my 50 year-old self and full head of luxuriously long hair had four heart attacks (so far.)
 
2013-04-04 08:58:26 AM

cynicalbastard: Could be. Seems like just about every bald guy I know is also a type A personality who does an excellent impersonation of an unstoppable machine- then somewheres between 40 and 50  major systems start breaking down dramatically.


Interesting. My dad was bald and while he was thought of as a excellent businessman and his professional acquaintances had wonderful things to say about him, at home with us he was an insufferable prick.
 
2013-04-04 09:00:05 AM

DerAppie: Yeah, maybe because baldness is a symptom while being fat is a cause?


They've narrowed that one down for the most part, its genetic.

And funnily enough its caused by DHT, a hormone that affects sexual drive and prostate function as well. So, showing that the world is not without irony, those with male pattern baldness often have higher sex drives and less prostate cancer.
 
2013-04-04 09:03:09 AM
i1168.photobucket.com

"And remember men, NO HAIR ON HEAD MEANS GOOD IN BED!"
 
2013-04-04 09:06:48 AM
I'm not a smoker and in great physical shape... unfortunately, I also have hair loss, gum disease, and am spending my free time in smoky bars... so yeah, I should be dead from a heart attack right about aarrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhh
 
2013-04-04 09:09:01 AM
Luckily I'm hairy noon and nighty, night, night.

/also hairy high and low
 
2013-04-04 09:13:37 AM
Testosterone is converted to Dihydrotestosterone (DHT) by the enzyme 5-alpha reductase. DHT is the more active form of Testosterone. While normally, about 5% of Testosterone gets converted to DHT, some men have an increased conversion rate.

These men have more androgens (yes, the same type of hormones athletes pump into themselves) which can increase certain factors such as -- Male Pattern Baldness, increased triglycerides, and lowering of high density lipoprotein cholesterols (HDL -- the good cholesterol). There is a highly significant association with increased triglycerides and coronary heart disease.

/I have nothing funny to add to this discussion.
 
2013-04-04 09:21:19 AM
Meh. My grandpa was bald, drank a bottle of whiskey everyday starting in his 50's and lived to be 97. Every male in my dad's side of the family is bald and everyone of them is going strong. What's their secret?

They're all insufferable assholes.

So throw rocks at that puppy. Shoot at children playing on your lawn. Drive on the sidewalk in the highest pedestrian areas of your city. Hide the T.V. remote. Visit the FARK politics tab. Being an incredible asshole everyday is healthier than a daily dose of vitamin C.

/ balding
// asshole
/// Farker
//// redundant
 
2013-04-04 09:23:26 AM

Sybarite: Luckily I'm hairy noon and nighty, night, night.

/also hairy high and low



Don't ask him why.

/Cos he don't know!
 
2013-04-04 09:30:20 AM
Every male on my mothers side of the family went bald early except for me (so far I'm only 29) but I'm in terrible shape so I'll probably still have a heart attack.
 
2013-04-04 09:44:14 AM
I'm seriously considering going on Accutane.  I'm 32.  Mildly depressed and slightly going bald.  So I figure why the hell not? I have a stunning profile pic in case you fine ladies are curious about this prime example of Tarzan...I mean, Fabio...err Denzel..wait...

I've been awake far too long and far too sober.
 
2013-04-04 09:45:14 AM

WeenerGord: Sybarite: Luckily I'm hairy noon and nighty, night, night.

/also hairy high and low


Don't ask him why.

/Cos he don't know!


A little off topic but, listening to Kevin Smith's 'Hollywood Babble On' podcast the other day they read an email from somebody living in Manchester England. KS immediately started singing Manchester England England, Across the Atlantic Sea! I thought I was the only person who always did that.
 
2013-04-04 09:45:28 AM

WhippingBoy: If you're bald, where is the hair in the drain coming from?


The hair is coming from inside the house!!
 
2013-04-04 09:52:23 AM

ph0rk: Oh, so Patrick Stewart is dead already?


No, Dr Pulaski gave him an artificial heart  back in 1989.
 
2013-04-04 10:06:10 AM
It seems like most balding men are hairier everywhere else? Why is that?
 
2013-04-04 10:06:34 AM
My husband is losing hair at the hairline and at the crown, not the top.  So according to this article, he's okay!
 
2013-04-04 10:08:43 AM

WhippingBoy: sotua: I need to move to a warmer climate. All my head hair is migrating to my back.

Soon you'll be able to do a majestic comb-over.


I always said i was go to grow it up from my neck, the 'Hooded Sweatshirt' version of the combover.
 
2013-04-04 10:34:16 AM
correlation is not causation. the correlation wasn't as strong as other factors,ie.30%. this could be explained by other factors, such as the high risk from diabetes, which causes hair loss.
/durp, dur
 
2013-04-04 10:35:36 AM

Crewmannumber6: cynicalbastard: Could be. Seems like just about every bald guy I know is also a type A personality who does an excellent impersonation of an unstoppable machine- then somewheres between 40 and 50  major systems start breaking down dramatically.

Interesting. My dad was bald and while he was thought of as a excellent businessman and his professional acquaintances had wonderful things to say about him, at home with us he was an insufferable prick.


In other words, like a lot of other Type A's. For a classic movie example, Robert Duvall's character in "The Great Santini."
 
2013-04-04 10:53:04 AM
However, the researchers said the risks were less than for smoking or obesity.

I wonder how many farkers are balding fat smokers?

......of course these bastards will live to be 110 because it has been said that being cynical, self serving, egotistical, selfish and sarcastic will more than compensate and make up for an otherwise poor health and genetic disadvantages.
 
2013-04-04 11:03:30 AM

cynicalbastard: Crewmannumber6: cynicalbastard: Could be. Seems like just about every bald guy I know is also a type A personality who does an excellent impersonation of an unstoppable machine- then somewheres between 40 and 50  major systems start breaking down dramatically.

Interesting. My dad was bald and while he was thought of as a excellent businessman and his professional acquaintances had wonderful things to say about him, at home with us he was an insufferable prick.

In other words, like a lot of other Type A's. For a classic movie example, Robert Duvall's character in "The Great Santini."


Funny you should mention that, my cousin and I used to joke that movie was based on him.
 
2013-04-04 12:00:49 PM
And a few paragraphs down TFA stresses that living on a pack a day and bacon is significantly more risky than having no hair.

But EVERYBODY PANIC (If you're bald)!!
 
2013-04-04 12:41:17 PM
Pacemaker?

www.wigs-us.com
 
2013-04-04 12:54:34 PM
www.reneecarol.com

Problem solved.
 
2013-04-04 03:13:43 PM

WhippingBoy: If you're bald, where is the hair in the drain coming from?


From your back.
 
Displayed 42 of 42 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report