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(The Chive)   Thirty-three things for The Walking Dead haters to biatch about (bonus: all on one page)   (thechive.com) divider line 181
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7079 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 04 Apr 2013 at 3:24 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-04 12:33:57 AM
missed that the Walker's heads are seemingly made of paper mache (you can easily pierce them with a thrust of a sword)
 
2013-04-04 01:04:08 AM
IT'S NOT EXACTLY LIKE THE COMICS WHICH MEANS I CAN'T SMUGLY DROP HINTS THAT I KNOW WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
 
2013-04-04 01:07:05 AM
I don't know and don't care if they are connected, but Chive just copied a Buzzfeed list.  And we already discussed flashlight silencers.
 
2013-04-04 01:32:06 AM

tenpoundsofcheese: missed that the Walker's heads are seemingly made of paper mache (you can easily pierce them with a thrust of a sword)


How else could Andrea have survived so long?
 
2013-04-04 01:58:12 AM
34. The fans
 
2013-04-04 02:05:15 AM
Ok. here is the break down of what the walking dead SHOULD be.

First. The cast is way too big. There should be only about four main characters. But they need to represent different types of people. Say 1 could be an older war vet. Maybe a Merle Dixon type biker. A black office worker reminiscent of the main character from the night of the living dead, and a female of course. Make her a college student


Second the plot goes all over the place. Keep it simple. Say at the start of the season they overhear a radio broadcast about a helicopter picking up survivors at a hospital. Then break down the season as they try to get to that location. At the end of each episode they could find a safe house and restock up on supplies.


Too many conversations about nothing. It's a show about zombies so lets make the action and the actors bout doing just that. No more speeches about morality. More Bruce Campbell type "that HAD to hurt!" lines when they take down a zombie. Short quotable dialog. "Oh yeah!" after a kill, "I got your back!" after they save a character. Stuff like that.


Enough of knives to the face. More head shots. I realize that ammo is supposed to be in short supply, but they should come up with a way where say previous survivors left stashes of ammo along the route the cast takes. Maybe a few melee weapon at those locations too.


Remember that .50 cal left in the compound? I bet in a real situation those things would be all over the place. How about some scenes where they get behind one of those and take down a heard. Would have made the farm finally so much better.


DIFFERENT TYPES OF ZOMBIES PLEASE! Fast ones, big ones that are hard to kill, one that explode puss, etc..


Maybe make it so at the end of the season their plan doesn't work out and the don't get picked up and the helicopter leaves them left for dead. Then next season have them try to get to a port where a ship is waiting. Something like that.


These are the things us "complainers" AKA: real zombie fans want. You take your human emotion, interaction and drama with the backdrop of a world with the living dead, and we'll take ACTION!
 
2013-04-04 02:53:52 AM

log_jammin: DIFFERENT TYPES OF ZOMBIES PLEASE! Fast ones, big ones that are hard to kill, one that explode puss, etc..


I was with you up to here. Everything else is a great suggestion. Although maybe a female college student isn't a good female role. How about a mother or young adult? Someone who can actually do something.
 
2013-04-04 02:55:35 AM
Yeesh.  It's called suspension of disbelief.  If you don't like it, don't watch it.
 
2013-04-04 03:45:44 AM

slayer199: Yeesh.  It's called suspension of disbelief.  If you don't like it, don't watch it.


suspension of disbelief is not the issue. shiatty writing is the issue. Star Wars had light sabers, space travel, the force, and paid it off with thematic writing, plot, and character.
 
2013-04-04 03:49:14 AM

log_jammin: These are the things us "complainers" AKA: real zombie fans want. You take your human emotion, interaction and drama with the backdrop of a world with the living dead, and we'll take ACTION!


The zombie genre is much more about how the survivors cope with a world gone to hell than it is about exploding heads.

"I thoughtI Am Legend was about revolution. I said if you're going to do something about revolution, you should start at the beginning. I mean, Richard starts his book with one man left; everybody in the world has become a vampire. I said we got to start at the beginning and tweak it up a little bit. I couldn't use vampires because he did, so I wanted something that would be an earth-shaking change. Something that was forever, something that was really at the heart of it. I said, so what if the dead stop staying dead? ... And the stories are about how people respond or fail to respond to this. That's really all [the zombies] ever represented to me."  -- George Romero
 
2013-04-04 03:52:48 AM
I even said the name of the game....
 
2013-04-04 03:54:32 AM

log_jammin: I even said the name of the game....


Oh snap.

This is what you get when you don't play FPS, doglover. You get pwned.
 
2013-04-04 04:00:24 AM
My biggest problems with the show is as easy as it is to poke through their heads, why where there any alive at the prison, seems like pole through head through fence, repeat and eventually there would be no walkers in their area, no more danger no wasted bullets.

After two days and then a daily round of clearing, guess less drama but they had the perfect situation to kill them off at the prison
 
2013-04-04 04:01:20 AM
Still trying to figure out what the Governor could have done before the apocalypse that enables him to out fight Merle, let alone be an expert with weapons, tactics, general assholishness
 
2013-04-04 04:03:36 AM
1. It sucks and I hear about it everywhere?

/DRTFA
 
2013-04-04 04:03:57 AM
"Impregnable vehicle". Wait, "impregnable" actually means the opposite of what it sounds?  Apparently.
 
2013-04-04 04:04:31 AM

log_jammin: DIFFERENT TYPES OF ZOMBIES PLEASE! Fast ones, big ones that are hard to kill, one that explode puss, etc..


Fat zombies, skinny zombies, zombies who climb on rocks...
 
2013-04-04 04:09:58 AM
Pretty good. A list of 33 nitpicks and only one of them was bullshiat:

thechive.files.wordpress.com

Having only one working eye tends to make one a better shot, because it eliminates the problem of aiming with the "wrong eye."
 
2013-04-04 04:12:17 AM

zerkalo: Still trying to figure out what the Governor could have done before the apocalypse that enables him to out fight Merle, let alone be an expert with weapons, tactics, general assholishness


Depends on which  Phillips brother he is, he was either a loser that lived with his parents and failed at everything and had a literature degree

or a worker at a muffler shop and occasional truck driver

or he could be based nothing on the graphic novels except for the name, I would lean towards the loser with the lit degree since he had all the time in the world to watch youtube and become a super soldier
 
2013-04-04 04:14:03 AM

WillofJ2: My biggest problems with the show is as easy as it is to poke through their heads, why where there any alive at the prison, seems like pole through head through fence, repeat and eventually there would be no walkers in their area, no more danger no wasted bullets.


They're a natural barrier against people like the governor.
 
2013-04-04 04:25:08 AM
the apocalypse starts after 2013 obviously, thats why the 2013 car is there
 
2013-04-04 04:39:52 AM

Ann Coulter's Diiick: slayer199: Yeesh.  It's called suspension of disbelief.  If you don't like it, don't watch it.

suspension of disbelief is not the issue. shiatty writing is the issue. Star Wars had light sabers, space travel, the force, and paid it off with thematic writing, plot, and character.


go watch Star Wars, Sheldon.
 
2013-04-04 04:46:52 AM
I suspend disbelief  with the best of them, but the poor writing of Andrea and Milton's scene was too much. That got dragged on for far too long, with her taking way too many pauses with her life on the line.
 
2013-04-04 05:04:28 AM
During the Andrea Milton death scene Mr. Tealeaf kept screaming "Hurry the fark up, biatch!"  at the television.  While this scared the cat, he did get really into the moment, so that was nice.

When Milton rose and started shuffling towards her, we both said "Oh, NOW she gets motivated" at the same time.

Milton deserved a better final end than this.
 
2013-04-04 05:12:01 AM

4NSpy: I suspend disbelief  with the best of them, but the poor writing of Andrea and Milton's scene was too much. That got dragged on for far too long, with her taking way too many pauses with her life on the line.


andreas death would have been better if she had no pliers to even have a chance
 
2013-04-04 05:16:49 AM

gittlebass: 4NSpy: I suspend disbelief  with the best of them, but the poor writing of Andrea and Milton's scene was too much. That got dragged on for far too long, with her taking way too many pauses with her life on the line.

andreas death would have been better if she had no pliers to even have a chance


Yeah but how do you fit 4 commercial breaks in that scenario?
 
2013-04-04 05:24:51 AM

4NSpy: gittlebass: 4NSpy: I suspend disbelief  with the best of them, but the poor writing of Andrea and Milton's scene was too much. That got dragged on for far too long, with her taking way too many pauses with her life on the line.

andreas death would have been better if she had no pliers to even have a chance

Yeah but how do you fit 4 commercial breaks in that scenario?


First scene, the zombie starts to eat her.

Second scene, she's screaming and being eaten.

Third scene, she's trying to scream but her injuries are preventing it and she dies.

Fourth scene, Rick kicks in the door and shoots her without even noticing who she is.
 
2013-04-04 05:24:54 AM
Yeah I've got to agree.  I've only watched the first season so far, and the number of aircraft-hangar-sized plot holes that I've come across is just bewildering.  It's not that it's a terrible show, it's just that the writers didn't really think things through very well.
 
2013-04-04 05:39:22 AM
Back in the "Life on the Magic Farm" season Glenn and Maggie went to get supplies at the pharmacy in the little abandoned town.

I don't have a problem with the abundance of tiny abandoned Andy Griffith villages. I don't have a problem with such an infestation that there were two (maybe three) in a tiny abandoned pharmacy. I don't have a problem with a zombie deciding to use his arms to grab Maggie through the bare shelves instead of just ramming his head through and biting her defenseless back. I don't have a problem with her terrified shrieks not luring every zombie in the area.

But, what kicked me right out of the Suspension of Disbelief is that there was STILL A PACKAGE OF TOILET PAPER ON THE SHELVES OF THE PHARMACY.
 
2013-04-04 05:43:59 AM

Mr. Coffee Nerves: But, what kicked me right out of the Suspension of Disbelief is that there was STILL A PACKAGE OF TOILET PAPER ON THE SHELVES OF THE PHARMACY.


Toilet paper isn't a priority. MREs come with it.
 
2013-04-04 05:44:01 AM

tenpoundsofcheese: missed that the Walker's heads are seemingly made of paper mache (you can easily pierce them with a thrust of a sword)


I've noticed this too, but I always chalk it up to their brains and skull being mostly rotted anyway. Suspension of disbelief, how does ti work?

At any rate, I loved the first few episodes (especially the first) that I keep watching it even though the whole series is a pointless trainwreck by now and I don't really give a shiat.

I saw an online poll last week asking who did we think would be killed in the next episode. I looked at it and then realized we could only pick one. Really? They're going to limit killing off main characters? Sure enough, IIRC they only killed off one main character. I knew it wouldn't be Rick or Darryl or Carl or even Merle and sure enough all of them survived.

Some of the article's pictures' criticisms were valid, but why do they want to spoil the best part of the show, which is mindless killing of zombies and the mindless tension created?

The dumbest farking thing about this past season is that people are fighting people while zombies just roam around and pop up. I think it all started in that bar where Herschel was drinking. Any sane person would say that they have to band together to eliminate the zombie threat.but I guess the writers thought that killing zombies wasn't interesting enough s they just made it stupid - even stupider than mindlessly killing zombies.
 
2013-04-04 05:47:48 AM

doglover: Mr. Coffee Nerves: But, what kicked me right out of the Suspension of Disbelief is that there was STILL A PACKAGE OF TOILET PAPER ON THE SHELVES OF THE PHARMACY.

Toilet paper isn't a priority. MREs come with it.


And where do you get MREs?
 
2013-04-04 05:48:12 AM
thechive.files.wordpress.com
Valid point.
 
2013-04-04 05:50:01 AM

Happy Hours: doglover: Mr. Coffee Nerves: But, what kicked me right out of the Suspension of Disbelief is that there was STILL A PACKAGE OF TOILET PAPER ON THE SHELVES OF THE PHARMACY.

Toilet paper isn't a priority. MREs come with it.

And where do you get MREs?


At the rescue centers you'd be fleeing to.

Remember season 1?
 
2013-04-04 06:10:39 AM
I don't watch the series (turned it off in disgust during the first episode since they people were too stupid to live)

But

How do you run low on Ammo? In the south?

Even in now with ammo running low because of horders there is still more than enough for the reduced number of people that would be using guns. Have you ever been in a southern gun store?

And shouldn't the zombies be completely gone by now? Where are they getting their energy from? Are they eating the other zombies?
 
2013-04-04 06:13:17 AM

WillofJ2: My biggest problems with the show is as easy as it is to poke through their heads, why where there any alive at the prison, seems like pole through head through fence, repeat and eventually there would be no walkers in their area, no more danger no wasted bullets.

After two days and then a daily round of clearing, guess less drama but they had the perfect situation to kill them off at the prison


Agreed. Draw them to the fence and poke away.

Also still think they should use .22 ammo for walkers. Lighter, less recoil, larger magazine capacity, quieter, etc.
 
2013-04-04 06:13:23 AM
Oh god, Fark, please don't turn the entertainment tab into a fanboy wankfest, where anything negative said about a series is just TEH HATERZZZZ
 
2013-04-04 06:32:59 AM
I will be curious to see how they now feed and water all the new residents of C Block Retirement Home and Day Care.
 
2013-04-04 06:39:08 AM

CujoQuarrel: I don't watch the series (turned it off in disgust during the first episode since they people were too stupid to live

And shouldn't the zombies be completely gone by now? Where are they getting their energy from? Are they eating the other zombies?


Basically the seem to have slower metabolic rate, in the show they can starve and eventually rot, but go into a dormant state when they dont have food, they eat all living stuff it seems, animals and people, but through miltons experiments they seem to last forever and michone cut the jaws off the "pets" the lose the desire to feed and slowly waste away I guess metabolizing the tissues of their body
 
2013-04-04 06:45:41 AM
I gave up at the second-to-last episode of the first season. Things just got too stupid for me. I liked some of the episodes, especially the (first?) one about the old folks home, but I just lost interest.
 
2013-04-04 06:47:20 AM

CujoQuarrel: And shouldn't the zombies be completely gone by now? Where are they getting their energy from? Are they eating the other zombies?


Zombies are magic.
 
2013-04-04 06:55:24 AM

CujoQuarrel: I don't watch the series (turned it off in disgust during the first episode since they people were too stupid to live)

But

How do you run low on Ammo? In the south?

Even in now with ammo running low because of horders there is still more than enough for the reduced number of people that would be using guns. Have you ever been in a southern gun store?

And shouldn't the zombies be completely gone by now? Where are they getting their energy from? Are they eating the other zombies?


That was explained in the show.
 
2013-04-04 07:00:20 AM
 
2013-04-04 07:03:19 AM
What dramas do most of you you watch? I pretty much DVR everything have bad insomnia it helps fill the time as well as finding this website.  In my opinions
Current bad shows, The Following ,Revolution, red widow, zero hour
Iffy, Vegas, Touch, Revenge, white collar, true blood recently
alright Golden boy, suits, continuum, csi, californication, banshee, newsroom,
good, the americans, house of lies, dexter, the walking dead, burn notice, board walk
great game of thrones, dexter at times, hell on wheels, Justified, Homeland most of the time

Walking dead is better then most on tv CSI NCIS types just get old and are even crazier to me, but I wouldnt mind finding a good show if it is out there
 
2013-04-04 07:05:03 AM
The show has jumped the zombie shark, but I think the one thing it gets right is that the living would NOT band together in any spirit of cooperation.
 
2013-04-04 07:10:20 AM

spamdog: Oh god, Fark, please don't turn the entertainment tab into a fanboy wankfest, where anything negative said about a series is just TEH HATERZZZZ


Hater.
 
2013-04-04 07:15:53 AM

The All-Powerful Atheismo: log_jammin: DIFFERENT TYPES OF ZOMBIES PLEASE! Fast ones, big ones that are hard to kill, one that explode puss, etc..

Fat zombies, skinny zombies, zombies who climb on rocks...


Different zombies would be great. I don't need to see any exploding pus though.
 
2013-04-04 07:18:30 AM
I just watched Seasons 1 and 2, and I think tha biggest thing to biatch about is the fact no one has said the word "zombie."

Let me see, they're being attacked by dead people who want to eat them and the only way to kill the attackers is by destroying their heads, but no one mentions any Romero film or even Shaun of the Dead?  That just seems totally unrealistic.
 
2013-04-04 07:31:25 AM
This one didn't get listed, but it's still may favorite:
thelaughingdead.com
 
2013-04-04 07:33:20 AM

vladimpaler: I just watched Seasons 1 and 2, and I think tha biggest thing to biatch about is the fact no one has said the word "zombie."

Let me see, they're being attacked by dead people who want to eat them and the only way to kill the attackers is by destroying their heads, but no one mentions any Romero film or even Shaun of the Dead?  That just seems totally unrealistic.


Apparently calling them zombies is either cliche now or just politically incorrect. That guido who calls them "lame-brains" was a bigot.

Just be glad they're not called the "metaphysically-challenged".
 
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