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(Sydney Morning Herald)   Good news frequent flyers - modern airplanes have a crumple zone that absorbs the impact in a plane crash. Bad news wealthy frequent flyers - it's called "first class"   (smh.com.au) divider line 77
    More: PSA, airplanes, aircraft manufacturers, large aircraft, crash tests  
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3385 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Apr 2013 at 3:32 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-03 08:36:28 PM  
In further news, you're still in a plane crash so it doesn't really matter where you're sitting
 
2013-04-03 08:41:17 PM  
So Airbus and Boeing say no part of the plane is any safer than anywhere else? But both put the black boxes in the tail...
 
2013-04-03 09:20:27 PM  
As a frequent flier, I'd still rather sit in first class the 999,999 other times the plane doesn't crash, and roll the dice on not being on the 1 that does.

Y'all can sit in the back, enjoy the lines to the bathrooms, enjoy the cattle call and maybe having to check your luggage.

I'll be sipping my cocktail up front.
 
2013-04-03 09:22:12 PM  
I think I'd prefer being crushed to death in first class over being burned alive in coach.
 
2013-04-03 09:22:49 PM  

Generation_D: As a frequent flier, I'd still rather sit in first class the 999,999 other times the plane doesn't crash, and roll the dice on not being on the 1 that does.

Y'all can sit in the back, enjoy the lines to the bathrooms, enjoy the cattle call and maybe having to check your luggage.

I'll be sipping my cocktail up front.


Do you look down on me condescendingly as I shuffle by or avoid eye contact? How do you choose?
 
2013-04-03 09:28:30 PM  

EvilEgg: Generation_D: As a frequent flier, I'd still rather sit in first class the 999,999 other times the plane doesn't crash, and roll the dice on not being on the 1 that does.

Y'all can sit in the back, enjoy the lines to the bathrooms, enjoy the cattle call and maybe having to check your luggage.

I'll be sipping my cocktail up front.

Do you look down on me condescendingly as I shuffle by or avoid eye contact? How do you choose?


Flip a $25k poker chip.
 
2013-04-03 09:29:29 PM  
The last fatal accident involving an American plane was in February 2009, and that one killed everyone on board.  In 10 days, it will be 50 months since the last fatal plane crash in the US.  The one before that was in August 2006.

I don't think you have to worry too much.
 
2013-04-03 09:33:08 PM  

EvilEgg: Generation_D: As a frequent flier, I'd still rather sit in first class the 999,999 other times the plane doesn't crash, and roll the dice on not being on the 1 that does.

Y'all can sit in the back, enjoy the lines to the bathrooms, enjoy the cattle call and maybe having to check your luggage.

I'll be sipping my cocktail up front.

Do you look down on me condescendingly as I shuffle by or avoid eye contact? How do you choose?


Its considered bad form to make eye contact with the commoners. I keep one eye out for those that don't know their place and might try the "graze the 1%'er with his luggage" trick while sending last minute emails, or browsing the yacht catalog on my new tablet.
 
2013-04-03 09:37:37 PM  
Fun Fact. Flight attendants assigned to First Class will *encourage* us to drink more comped alcohol than just the one drink. On return trips later in the day especially. I've had competing flight attendants each try to get us to accept another round. I have to sometimes ask for a second cheese and meat platter just so I can get through that 4th bourbon.

Flight attendants hang out in First Class then the unlucky ones go back to serve the rest of the cabin. We're like the cocktail lounge and they're the bartenders.

The world is so much less stressed from a wide First Class seat. I really encourage you to scrape your pennies together and someday try it out once. Just remember to not lean too close to the aisle when the rest of humanity shuffles by. Their dreary unsuccessful lives are not your concern.
 
2013-04-03 09:41:34 PM  

Generation_D: Fun Fact. Flight attendants assigned to First Class will *encourage* us to drink more comped alcohol than just the one drink. On return trips later in the day especially. I've had competing flight attendants each try to get us to accept another round. I have to sometimes ask for a second cheese and meat platter just so I can get through that 4th bourbon.

Flight attendants hang out in First Class then the unlucky ones go back to serve the rest of the cabin. We're like the cocktail lounge and they're the bartenders.

The world is so much less stressed from a wide First Class seat. I really encourage you to scrape your pennies together and someday try it out once. Just remember to not lean too close to the aisle when the rest of humanity shuffles by. Their dreary unsuccessful lives are not your concern.


Oh and buy a seat for your tween too, just so the commoners can viscerally feel how badly they have failed at life.
 
2013-04-03 09:43:26 PM  

Generation_D: Fun Fact. Flight attendants assigned to First Class will *encourage* us to drink more comped alcohol than just the one drink. On return trips later in the day especially. I've had competing flight attendants each try to get us to accept another round. I have to sometimes ask for a second cheese and meat platter just so I can get through that 4th bourbon.

Flight attendants hang out in First Class then the unlucky ones go back to serve the rest of the cabin. We're like the cocktail lounge and they're the bartenders.

The world is so much less stressed from a wide First Class seat. I really encourage you to scrape your pennies together and someday try it out once. Just remember to not lean too close to the aisle when the rest of humanity shuffles by. Their dreary unsuccessful lives are not your concern.



You try entirely too hard.
 
2013-04-03 09:44:52 PM  
pjmedia.com
 
2013-04-03 09:48:11 PM  

Generation_D: Fun Fact. Flight attendants assigned to First Class will *encourage* us to drink more comped alcohol than just the one drink. On return trips later in the day especially. I've had competing flight attendants each try to get us to accept another round. I have to sometimes ask for a second cheese and meat platter just so I can get through that 4th bourbon.

Flight attendants hang out in First Class then the unlucky ones go back to serve the rest of the cabin. We're like the cocktail lounge and they're the bartenders.

The world is so much less stressed from a wide First Class seat. I really encourage you to scrape your pennies together and someday try it out once. Just remember to not lean too close to the aisle when the rest of humanity shuffles by. Their dreary unsuccessful lives are not your concern.


The fun/sad part about this is I can't buy a first class ticket here.  Planes that big don't fly out of TYS.  Hell, every plane I've gotten on here I had to walk the fark outside to get on and I end up transferring at a hub.  There are only 18 cities that fly direct from here.  Those little planes suck.
 
2013-04-03 09:50:36 PM  

GAT_00: Those little planes suck.


When you're afraid of flying and they ask some passengers to move to the other side of the plane for balance? Yeah that's when your want to run off the plane and just walk.
 
2013-04-03 10:12:32 PM  

GAT_00: The last fatal accident involving an American plane was in February 2009, and that one killed everyone on board.  In 10 days, it will be 50 months since the last fatal plane crash in the US.  The one before that was in August 2006.

I don't think you have to worry too much.


Yeah, but if you're me and for whatever reason keep watching Air Crash Investigation episodes on YouTube the night before a flight this doesn't help much.

CSB, last time I flew to the UK on the way back the guy sitting next to me started having heart palpitations.  Shiat can still hit the fan in an airplane setting even when there's no threat of crashing involved.
 
2013-04-03 10:14:52 PM  
I was getting settled into my seat for a flight from Denver to Tampa once when I saw Hulk Hogan boarding in first class.
It amused me thinking that if we crashed, I'd pin him.
 
2013-04-03 10:16:09 PM  

Andromeda: Yeah, but if you're me and for whatever reason keep watching Air Crash Investigation episodes on YouTube the night before a flight this doesn't help much.


Why the fark would you do that?  I don't worry much unless I know I'm flying into weather, and I still wouldn't do that.
 
2013-04-03 10:23:28 PM  
Studies have show that as men get older, they tend to worry more about the crumple-zone and the cockpit.
 
2013-04-03 10:28:45 PM  

GAT_00: Generation_D: Fun Fact. Flight attendants assigned to First Class will *encourage* us to drink more comped alcohol than just the one drink. On return trips later in the day especially. I've had competing flight attendants each try to get us to accept another round. I have to sometimes ask for a second cheese and meat platter just so I can get through that 4th bourbon.

Flight attendants hang out in First Class then the unlucky ones go back to serve the rest of the cabin. We're like the cocktail lounge and they're the bartenders.

The world is so much less stressed from a wide First Class seat. I really encourage you to scrape your pennies together and someday try it out once. Just remember to not lean too close to the aisle when the rest of humanity shuffles by. Their dreary unsuccessful lives are not your concern.

The fun/sad part about this is I can't buy a first class ticket here.  Planes that big don't fly out of TYS.  Hell, every plane I've gotten on here I had to walk the fark outside to get on and I end up transferring at a hub.  There are only 18 cities that fly direct from here.  Those little planes suck.


Yeah, same here - the largest plane I've ever caught out of YMM had 13 rows.  Often, they have 10.  No directs to any city of size except Edmonton or Calgary.  It does indeed suck.
 
2013-04-03 10:30:11 PM  

Amos Quito: Studies have show that as men get older, they tend to worry more about the crumple-zone and the cockpit.


But we have those little blue pills for that now.
And Joe Theisman has brought us Super Beta Prostate.
The flesh can be made willing even if the spirit is weak.
 
2013-04-03 10:41:37 PM  

GAT_00: Generation_D: Fun Fact. Flight attendants assigned to First Class will *encourage* us to drink more comped alcohol than just the one drink. On return trips later in the day especially. I've had competing flight attendants each try to get us to accept another round. I have to sometimes ask for a second cheese and meat platter just so I can get through that 4th bourbon.

Flight attendants hang out in First Class then the unlucky ones go back to serve the rest of the cabin. We're like the cocktail lounge and they're the bartenders.

The world is so much less stressed from a wide First Class seat. I really encourage you to scrape your pennies together and someday try it out once. Just remember to not lean too close to the aisle when the rest of humanity shuffles by. Their dreary unsuccessful lives are not your concern.

The fun/sad part about this is I can't buy a first class ticket here.  Planes that big don't fly out of TYS.  Hell, every plane I've gotten on here I had to walk the fark outside to get on and I end up transferring at a hub.  There are only 18 cities that fly direct from here.  Those little planes suck.


Ah, so you are familiar with the CRJ planes and those things that still use propellers and the seats are noticeably narrower than on real airplanes and you can't stand up without bumping your head.


/Also live with a small-market airport.
 
2013-04-03 10:57:30 PM  

revrendjim: Ah, so you are familiar with the CRJ planes and those things that still use propellers and the seats are noticeably narrower than on real airplanes and you can't stand up without bumping your head.


CRJs, very familiar.  F*cking Delta Connection subsidiaries.  Not small enough to get prop planes, the airport does have 10 terminals.
 
2013-04-03 11:38:20 PM  

Generation_D: Fun Fact. Flight attendants assigned to First Class will *encourage* us to drink more comped alcohol than just the one drink. On return trips later in the day especially. I've had competing flight attendants each try to get us to accept another round. I have to sometimes ask for a second cheese and meat platter just so I can get through that 4th bourbon.

Flight attendants hang out in First Class then the unlucky ones go back to serve the rest of the cabin. We're like the cocktail lounge and they're the bartenders.

The world is so much less stressed from a wide First Class seat. I really encourage you to scrape your pennies together and someday try it out once. Just remember to not lean too close to the aisle when the rest of humanity shuffles by. Their dreary unsuccessful lives are not your concern.


Enjoy my farts ;)
 
2013-04-03 11:45:38 PM  
I love Mayday/Air Crash Investigations

Such a great show.

From pretty much I have seen on the show the first class does get the worst damage.
 
2013-04-04 12:31:38 AM  

GAT_00: Andromeda: Yeah, but if you're me and for whatever reason keep watching Air Crash Investigation episodes on YouTube the night before a flight this doesn't help much.

Why the fark would you do that?  I don't worry much unless I know I'm flying into weather, and I still wouldn't do that.


I just watched an episode. It's one in south America where the pilots were in a hurry and skipped their pre flight checklist. From them walking into the cockpit to wheels turning was two minutes forty seconds. Unfortunately the AI gyros need three minutes to stabilise....

For the sake of waiting another twenty seconds they flew into a mountain in cloud and killed everyone on board.
 
2013-04-04 12:43:43 AM  
I only wish I got upgraded to first class more often.
 
2013-04-04 02:03:43 AM  

Generation_D: I have to sometimes ask for a second cheese and meat platter just so I can get through that 4th bourbon.


A FOURTH?!

Amateur!

I can handle a fifth myself, if you know what I mean.
 
2013-04-04 02:45:14 AM  
Great, a plane crash thread.  I just booked my first flight since Nov., 2001.
 
2013-04-04 03:36:49 AM  
Nothing of value was lost.
 
2013-04-04 03:39:38 AM  

BarkingUnicorn: Great, a plane crash thread.  I just booked my first flight since Nov., 2001.


25.media.tumblr.com

So you`re saying you`re fine?
 
2013-04-04 03:53:13 AM  

Generation_D: As a frequent flier, I'd still rather sit in first class the 999,999 other times the plane doesn't crash, and roll the dice on not being on the 1 that does.

Y'all can sit in the back, enjoy the lines to the bathrooms, enjoy the cattle call and maybe having to check your luggage.

I'll be sipping my cocktail up front.


Real money flies in private jets. Keep dreaming.
 
2013-04-04 03:54:49 AM  
Generally, I actually fly places worth being awake for, so first class would be somewhat redundant for me, given that I'm generally asleep on the plane.
 
2013-04-04 03:59:08 AM  
There is first class - as in, say, first class on a Delta JFK-LAX run - and then there is first class as in Qatar Airways London-Dubai. The two can't even be remotely equated.
 
2013-04-04 04:08:28 AM  

Jim_Callahan: Generally, I actually fly places worth being awake for, so first class would be somewhat redundant for me, given that I'm generally asleep on the plane.


The only time I've ever been able to sleep in a plane was when I was bumped to business class.
 
2013-04-04 04:12:26 AM  

Generation_D: As a frequent flier, I'd still rather sit in first class the 999,999 other times the plane doesn't crash, and roll the dice on not being on the 1 that does.

Y'all can sit in the back, enjoy the lines to the bathrooms, enjoy the cattle call and maybe having to check your luggage.

I'll be sipping my cocktail up front.


Excuse me. but wouldn't you have time to go back to peasant class and toss someone out of their seat if the plane was about to crash?

mrburns.jpg
 
2013-04-04 04:22:38 AM  

Generation_D: As a frequent flier, I'd still rather sit in first class the 999,999 other times the plane doesn't crash, and roll the dice on not being on the 1 that does.

Y'all can sit in the back, enjoy the lines to the bathrooms, enjoy the cattle call and maybe having to check your luggage.

I'll be sipping my cocktail up front.


imokaywiththis.jpg
 
2013-04-04 04:23:56 AM  
I am SO glad I am tiny; economy feels HUGE to me.  5'3" 110lbs of muscle ^.^  (muscle is more dense than fat and so I weigh more)
 
2013-04-04 04:26:48 AM  

EvilEgg: Generation_D: As a frequent flier, I'd still rather sit in first class the 999,999 other times the plane doesn't crash, and roll the dice on not being on the 1 that does.

Y'all can sit in the back, enjoy the lines to the bathrooms, enjoy the cattle call and maybe having to check your luggage.

I'll be sipping my cocktail up front.

Do you look down on me condescendingly as I shuffle by or avoid eye contact? How do you choose?


On the rare occasions I fly first class, I don't. I've just happy to have a comfortable chair to sit in.

American still owes me a few first class upgrades. They promised me they'd never expire. I'm willing to bet they won't honor them since it's been years.

Generation_D: Fun Fact. Flight attendants assigned to First Class will *encourage* us to drink more comped alcohol than just the one drink. .


I've never experienced that - maybe because I need to encouragement to drink more. OTOH, I have seen someone cut off from drinking by the flight crew. (No, it wasn't me). It was a sorry sight to see. Every 10 minutes or so he'd wander back to see if they'd give him another drink and they would refuse him. That guy was wastededed
 
xcv
2013-04-04 04:31:36 AM  

Skyday: I am SO glad I am tiny; economy feels HUGE to me.  5'3" 110lbs of muscle ^.^  (muscle is more dense than fat and so I weigh more)


Great, so you won't mind giving up half your seat to overflow from a neighbor.
 
2013-04-04 04:32:41 AM  

doglover: GAT_00: Those little planes suck.

When you're afraid of flying and they ask some passengers to move to the other side of the plane for balance? Yeah that's when your want to run off the plane and just walk.


Nope-for me it is when the pilot loads the bags before he gets in the cockpit.
 
2013-04-04 04:35:54 AM  
If I'm about to be in a crash, I just close my eyes.  That way Death can't see me ;)
 
2013-04-04 04:43:38 AM  

xcv: Skyday: I am SO glad I am tiny; economy feels HUGE to me.  5'3" 110lbs of muscle ^.^  (muscle is more dense than fat and so I weigh more)

Great, so you won't mind giving up half your seat to overflow from a neighbor.


i.telegraph.co.uk

This guy?

I'm also tiny (5", 87lbs), so the seats in economy are plenty big for me as well. I've never flown first class, but based on what they look like as I trudge by they look like they could fit two of me easily.

My dislike of flying really has little to do with the lack of safety. In reality, the "flying" part of flying is fine, it's just the cost, the hours of airport line ups and the TSA scans/gropefests that make it a pain.
 
2013-04-04 04:52:27 AM  

Skyday: 5'3" 110lbs of muscle ^.^ (muscle is more dense than fat and so I weigh more)


I hope you're kidding.
 
2013-04-04 04:56:18 AM  

Abacus9: Skyday: 5'3" 110lbs of muscle ^.^ (muscle is more dense than fat and so I weigh more)

I hope you're kidding.


I can count on you ;)
 
2013-04-04 05:01:54 AM  

Generation_D: The world is so much less stressed from a wide First Class seat. I really encourage you to scrape your pennies together and someday try it out once. Just remember to not lean too close to the aisle when the rest of humanity shuffles by. Their dreary unsuccessful lives are not your concern.


On international flights, Business class is pretty much 85% as good as First. Full bed in your own cubicle. And a lot more reasonable in cost.

/it's still freaking expensive though.
//Stewardess wife lets me pay peanuts.
///Hong Kong to LA tomorrow night. I might wander back to Economy class just because if feels so damn good to go back to the front.
 
2013-04-04 05:04:12 AM  

doosh: There is first class - as in, say, first class on a Delta JFK-LAX run - and then there is first class as in Qatar Airways London-Dubai. The two can't even be remotely equated.


A lot of people don't know this. First Class inside the States is far less nice than Business class on a long haul.
 
2013-04-04 05:14:04 AM  

Generation_D: As a frequent flier, I'd still rather sit in first class the 999,999 other times the plane doesn't crash, and roll the dice on not being on the 1 that does.

Y'all can sit in the back, enjoy the lines to the bathrooms, enjoy the cattle call and maybe having to check your luggage.

I'll be sipping my cocktail up front.


I was going to say almost exactly that. I so love frequent flyer status, biatches.
 
2013-04-04 05:18:40 AM  

doosh: There is first class - as in, say, first class on a Delta JFK-LAX run - and then there is first class as in Qatar Airways London-Dubai. The two can't even be remotely equated.


Done both and I can't agree more.
 
2013-04-04 05:22:35 AM  
Isn't that risk cancelled out by the stress of flying in cattle-class and risk of DVT from the tiny, unpadded seats they have to sit in?

(Several times over...?)
 
2013-04-04 05:59:11 AM  

Generation_D: EvilEgg: Generation_D: As a frequent flier, I'd still rather sit in first class the 999,999 other times the plane doesn't crash, and roll the dice on not being on the 1 that does.

Y'all can sit in the back, enjoy the lines to the bathrooms, enjoy the cattle call and maybe having to check your luggage.

I'll be sipping my cocktail up front.

Do you look down on me condescendingly as I shuffle by or avoid eye contact? How do you choose?

Its considered bad form to make eye contact with the commoners. I keep one eye out for those that don't know their place and might try the "graze the 1%'er with his luggage" trick while sending last minute emails, or browsing the yacht catalog on my new tablet.


Non-lay flats at the front of a US A320 are NOT ' First class'. Come back when you're ready to join the big boys in the private cabin.
 
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