If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Google)   Best Leader has final approval to launch nukes   (google.com) divider line 150
    More: News, United States, National Defense University, Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel, Ministry of Unification, nuclear detonation, weapons-grade plutonium, North Korean military, interceptors  
•       •       •

20872 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Apr 2013 at 8:07 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-04-03 04:31:50 PM
23 votes:
i208.photobucket.com
2013-04-03 04:13:47 PM
20 votes:
I think I figured it out.
He totally lost his shiat around the same time Twinkies were threatened.

Never fark with a fat kids snacks if he has an army and a nuke.

It all makes so much sense.
2013-04-03 04:35:44 PM
18 votes:
i.imgur.com
2013-04-03 08:31:03 PM
10 votes:
i306.photobucket.com
2013-04-03 08:19:33 PM
10 votes:
This is such bullshiat, they're not going to do anything. The North Koreans are in bed with the Obama administration and are only doing this to distract us from Benghazi. Study it out.
2013-04-03 04:11:10 PM
10 votes:
Congratulations, Taxbongo.  You know the president has really screwed up when North Korea is directing threats your way.
2013-04-03 04:08:09 PM
9 votes:
Execute the specific action that you have gone so far out of the way to imply that you intend to, you homosexual!
2013-04-03 10:48:22 PM
8 votes:
t2.gstatic.com
Putin: So did America finally do it?
Medvedev: No, Un did it.
Putin: You mean they stopped?  Nobody did it?
Medvedev: No,,Un did it.
Putin:  That's what I said, nobody did it.
Medvedev:  Stop
2013-04-03 08:14:09 PM
8 votes:

Bontesla: The more he moves toward war - the more I'm thinking that he had something up his sleeve.


His sleevies are where he keeps his armies
Pud [TotalFark]
2013-04-03 05:02:41 PM
8 votes:
NO MERCY!!!

t0.gstatic.com
2013-04-03 09:47:37 PM
7 votes:

Mantour: [www.globalpost.com image 850x547]

Kim Jong-Un has a posse


That doesn't look too impressive, please be fair and show the uncropped version...

i48.tinypic.com
2013-04-03 05:51:19 PM
7 votes:
This shiat really started ratcheting up right after the Dennis Rodman visit.. Did he turn Un onto coke and PCP?
2013-04-03 04:30:42 PM
7 votes:
This is like recess with the special-needs kid in his wheelchair ramming the sports jock in the ankles.
If the jock punches Timmy in the face he's deemed a bully. If he does nothing Timmy will pinch his nuts with his reaching stick.

There's no easy way out of this.
2013-04-03 10:27:12 PM
6 votes:
pics.imcdb.org
2013-04-03 09:51:23 PM
6 votes:
i2.asntown.net

This will be sadder than when Carl Fredricksen's wife dies.
2013-04-03 09:06:55 PM
6 votes:

oldfarthenry: Dear 'merikuh,
             we understand you're having yet another dick-waving contest with North Best Korea. Please contain any nuclear fallout within your own borders.

Kisses,
Canuckada & Meh-Kee-Koh


Dear Canada and Mexico;
I am altering the deal. Pray I don't alter it any further.
Kisses,
America
2013-04-03 08:28:35 PM
6 votes:
Spanky_McFarksalot: i.dailymail.co.uk 

MY GOD, we misunderestimated  them, they have enough food to make at least 2 people fat!
2013-04-03 04:17:45 PM
6 votes:
It takes a special kind of farkheadedness to be the crazy one in the Kim Jong family.
2013-04-03 04:05:57 PM
6 votes:
So uh, fire ze missiles?
2013-04-03 11:04:43 PM
5 votes:
What North Koreans think is happening:

i28.photobucket.com

What the rest of the world thinks is happening:

i28.photobucket.com
2013-04-03 08:47:03 PM
5 votes:

Fallout Boy: Kim Jong-Un is a world master troll.


Un is SkinnyHead.  I knew it!
2013-04-03 08:17:52 PM
5 votes:
I'm hoping this will be like an old Road Runner / Wile E. Coyote skit, where Dear Leader pushes the launch button and a little flag in the shape of a mushroom cloud pops up.
2013-04-03 11:20:26 PM
4 votes:
24.media.tumblr.com
2013-04-03 11:07:37 PM
4 votes:
Good bye, Golden Age of the United States.  Very soon, our lives will be changing forever in ways we can't even begin to comprehend.  The wrath of North Korea will never, never be forgotten.  Sure, some of us will survive and adapt to a world that would be unrecognizable to us, but it will be just that, survival.  I only hope I'm one of the lucky ones that dies in the immediate aftermath and not one of the ones who will suffer under North Korean supremacy.  I for one will be spending my last remaining hours of this life making the best of what's left.  The cats and I live like we've never lived before.  I'll probably even stop reading Fark for a few minutes and stick my head outside long enough to enjoy the fresh, crisp cool air.  And then, I'll cry myself to sleep.
2013-04-03 10:24:27 PM
4 votes:
Screw the nukes. They need more impressive hats.

i23.photobucket.com

Admit it, you marvelled.
2013-04-03 10:19:07 PM
4 votes:
Oppa DPRK Style

i.imgur.com">
2013-04-03 09:58:45 PM
4 votes:
i.imgur.com
North Korea cat wonders how long he can keep this charade up for
2013-04-03 09:54:36 PM
4 votes:
img135.imageshack.us
ahmadinejad:  Yesterday, they said they were restarting their reactor.
khamenei:  Uh-hu,,
ahmadinejad:  But today, they said they're launching their missile.  So, what do they think?  Everybody's just gonna wait till they're ready?
khamenei:  dunno, they're makin' us look normal!
ahmadinejad: HA! - - hey
khamenei: oh, relax
2013-04-03 09:17:48 PM
4 votes:
Spanky_McFarksalot:
i.dailymail.co.uk


considering their maps have  straight lines on a plant thats round, even if they do launch they'll probably hit Antarctica.

I think all those goofy hats used up North Korea's entire budget for curved lines.
2013-04-03 09:02:39 PM
4 votes:
I kind of miss Gaddafi.  He had his own style.

All he needed was a white glove and he would have been the Michael Jackson of terrorists.
2013-04-03 08:46:27 PM
4 votes:
i.imgur.com">
2013-04-03 08:42:44 PM
4 votes:
i.imgur.com">
2013-04-03 08:38:43 PM
4 votes:
i.imgur.com">
2013-04-03 08:22:50 PM
4 votes:
2013-04-03 08:11:21 PM
4 votes:
encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
2013-04-03 08:10:39 PM
4 votes:

FlashHarry: "The moment of explosion is approaching fast," the North Korean military said.

i said the same thing on sunday morning.


So did I just now, but then, I had chili for dinner. I think my butt should be registered as a WMD.
2013-04-03 05:16:57 PM
4 votes:
"The moment of explosion is approaching fast," the North Korean military said.

i said the same thing on sunday morning.
2013-04-03 04:42:53 PM
4 votes:
"Never has the whole Korean peninsula been exposed to such danger of a nuclear war as today," it added.

c481901.r1.cf2.rackcdn.com

You sure about that?
2013-04-03 04:10:12 PM
4 votes:
Dear 'merikuh,
             we understand you're having yet another dick-waving contest with North Best Korea. Please contain any nuclear fallout within your own borders.

Kisses,
Canuckada & Meh-Kee-Koh
2013-04-03 11:43:53 PM
3 votes:

awalkingecho: What's everyone make of this?


i190.photobucket.com
2013-04-03 10:07:01 PM
3 votes:
Hey North Korea, check out our poster:

i.qkme.me

Your poster:

randomoverload.net

Try it, you little shiats.
2013-04-03 10:05:45 PM
3 votes:

Giltric: If I was China I would use NK to start an engagement with the US and then decimate the US in an all or nothing war.


That's silly, because that war would end with the world an unusable, burnt cinder, and all civilization reduced to grunting and painting on cave walls with chalk. Also, China has no interest in attacking the US. We are far too important to them, economically. Remember, they need us a WHOLE lot more than we need them.

What China SHOULD do is invade North Korea. This might sound crazy, but is actually a perfect solution to all of the major problems China is facing right now:

1) Overpopulation of young adult males. If instead of using their higher-tech arsenal, they instead start a draft, targeting undesirables - males 18-30 with no education, a poor or non-existent job, and a potential for getting restless at home - and then send the drafted men on foot into NK with barely enough equipment to have fought the first Korean War and no training, they could get rid of a ton of their unwanted young males. Which leads to...

2) Korean Humanitarian Crisis. If they send those poorly armed, angry, violent young men with no futures into North Korea, they could effectively get them to slaughter a large percentage of the native population. Especially since most of the native population is technically in the reserve, anyway. China is good enough at locking down on critics, foreign and domestic, and powerfule enough, that they could get away with this without suffering any serious backlash from the international community. After all, who's going to impose sanctions on China today? And since they have a permanent veto at the UN, they are essentially above any kind of real reproach or punishment. Wiping out most of the NK citizens eliminates the threat of "the worlds biggest humanitarian crisis", as so many people like to call it. This, in turn, opens the door to...

3) Mineral wealth. China has a decent supply of mineral wealth already, but most experts agree that NK has HUGE reserves of rare earth metals. The same rare-earth metals that make most of modern technology possible. These deposits are worth trillions, and would be a huge boon to China's wealth. It would also act as a safeguard against internal economic collapse. China's economy is actually incredibly fragile: they're essentially one really bad corruption scandal or a good look at their TRUE books away from economic colapse. Think 2007, and then multiply by 100. That bad. A huge pool of new mineral wealth would act as collateral against their currency, and ensure that they could weather any major shock to their banking system. It also buys them time to begin cleaning up their act, and stabilizing their currency - something they can't do now, since any move to strengthen the banking system and weed out the corruption might just send their existing economy tumbling off the edge. And speaking of which...

4) Eternal expansion. China's current economy revolves around perpetual expansion funded largely by the government and government-run banks. But most of this expansion lately has been of the "We need to do something, anything, just to look busy" variety. This is what's driving the creation of the massive ghost cities. Or the world's largest mall that sits almost completely unoccupied. Or any number of other ridiculous projects that churn the money around enough that it looks like the economy is growing, even if it isn't. A large, newly-claimed cache  of mineral deposits would serve as a focal point of expansion, and allow the government to keep this artificial expansion going by heavily financing NK reconstruction and development. This will give their economy enough steam to push forward even while the central planning committee works on a sustainable and stable solution.

Really, this is a no-lose for China. To top it all off, it would establish them as a true super-power, acting as a unilateral  interventionist force to patrol their region of the world. It would also simultaneously strengthen relations with the US (most of us are idiots, and love people flexing their muscles to beat down a "bully", even if said bully weighs 85lbs and has been coaxed into it by the star quarterback, who then proceeds to clobber him guilt-free), and will diminish US power in Asia, sending a strong message to unaligned countries and our less loyal allies that there's a new sheriff in town. If they can wait until NK makes the first move, so much the better, since then they also look like heroes on the world stage.

In fact, I'm a little bit shocked that China hasn't already done that. They really need to pay me a lot of money to go over and consult.

/I take payment in US dollars, rare-earth minerals, and Chinese women
2013-04-03 10:03:49 PM
3 votes:
I swear, I always end up with one of those North Korean Generals sitting in front of me at the movies.
2013-04-03 09:39:06 PM
3 votes:

studebaker hoch: I kind of miss Gaddafi.  He had his own style.

All he needed was a white glove and he would have been the Michael Jackson of terrorists.


cdn.thedailybeast.com
2013-04-03 09:15:32 PM
3 votes:
i.imgur.com
I'm sure Washington is more interested in China's posture in this event than Best Korea's.
2013-04-03 09:13:54 PM
3 votes:

roughridersfan: markie_farkie: Rodman

Maybe RODMAN'S THE BOMB!!!!

Our only solution is to blow up Rodman or drop him into the Mariana Trench. Just to be safe.


Dennis Rodman has already been in something as cold, dark and deep as the Mariana Trench: it's called Madonna's vagina.
2013-04-03 09:03:42 PM
3 votes:

markie_farkie: Rodman


Maybe RODMAN'S THE BOMB!!!!

Our only solution is to blow up Rodman or drop him into the Mariana Trench. Just to be safe.
2013-04-03 08:54:06 PM
3 votes:
www.globalpost.com

Kim Jong-Un has a posse
2013-04-03 04:32:58 PM
3 votes:
I get it. He saw the remake of Red Dawn and thought it a blueprint on how you conquer America.
2013-04-03 04:09:16 PM
3 votes:
Hope he's warmed up his throwing arm.
2013-04-04 01:10:29 AM
2 votes:

cameroncrazy1984: SuperNinjaToad: no worries... I think the flash point of WWIII will be the mideast not northeast Asia. Highly unlikely. Despots, tyrants and crazies come and go BUT religions stay forever!

I guess if there is a silver lining in all this is there is no 'religious/tribal' variable in the equation and that is HUGE.

China, NK, SK, Japan etc are pretty much atheistic/agnostic type societies and no one is going to go to war because Buddha, MSM, Allah or Jesus told them to nor are they fighting infidels and die as myrtyrs and be rewarded in the afterlife.

Japan went to war because they believed their Emperor was an infallible man-god.



Bullshiat.

Obama wasn't even born yet.
2013-04-04 12:18:04 AM
2 votes:

Omahawg: so china's apparently got a new bird flu problem to deal with right now.

hell in a handbasket?

three planes have left the old SAC hq in the past hour

yes, I've heard more before on other nights


Loos like it's time to get the ol' gang back together:

gorillaartfare.com
2013-04-03 11:59:14 PM
2 votes:
25.media.tumblr.com
2013-04-03 11:39:06 PM
2 votes:
24.media.tumblr.com
2013-04-03 10:58:24 PM
2 votes:

Jim_Callahan: Yeah, NK is setting itself up to be nuked... by China.  The US would just take out the launch sites or intercept the woefully under-tech missiles the NK warheads are on, we tend to feel bad about picking on retards these days.

China... not so reluctant to respond to someone trying to start a war on their northern border with actual, preemptive force.


images3.wikia.nocookie.net

And they are generous, so generous.
2013-04-03 10:31:44 PM
2 votes:

eggrolls: [i.imgur.com image 425x261]
I'm sure Washington is more interested in China's posture in this event than Best Korea's.


I love how people that get a hard-on over pictures like this are also the same people lighting their hair on fire about government spending and taxes.

The military probably blew 250k in fuel just getting all that stuff in position for the picture.  Great example of government waste and abuse.
2013-04-03 10:15:53 PM
2 votes:
croesius

studebaker hoch: I kind of miss Gaddafi. He had his own style.

All he needed was a white glove and he would have been the Michael Jackson of terrorists.

cdn.thedailybeast.com


doyoulikelikeme.files.wordpress.com

Get the f*ck out of here.
2013-04-03 10:11:34 PM
2 votes:
We should just send in the Blue Angels. They could do some loops and cool shiat, then write "Fark off n00b" in blue smoke in Korean as they fly away unscathed and Dear Leader shakes his tiny little fist.
2013-04-03 09:54:54 PM
2 votes:

EdNortonsTwin: NK may be a bunch of screw balls, but they sure know how to get us to spin our wheels.


Slow news day.   Best Korea will be forgotten when Lindsay Lohan shows her hoo-ha again.
2013-04-03 09:49:06 PM
2 votes:

Obscure Login: Mantour: [www.globalpost.com image 850x547]

Kim Jong-Un has a posse

That doesn't look too impressive, please be fair and show the uncropped version...

[i48.tinypic.com image 639x532]


It's the NK version of Where's Waldo!
2013-04-03 09:35:49 PM
2 votes:
25.media.tumblr.com
2013-04-03 09:02:34 PM
2 votes:
China, you have the Greenlight to implement Operation: Kill the Little Mother farker

/budget cuts eliminated the Department of Operation Naming
2013-04-03 09:01:50 PM
2 votes:

Interrupted Infinitum: DEAR LEADER, I CAN WALK!!!


I can no longer sit back and allow communist infiltration, communist indoctrination, communist subversion, and the international communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.
2013-04-03 08:55:37 PM
2 votes:
Dear Leader,

dtdstudios.com

Are you reallysure this is a good idea?
2013-04-03 08:55:25 PM
2 votes:

LewDux: Spanky_McFarksalot: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 638x448] 

MY GOD, we misunderestimated  them, they have enough food to make at least 2 people fat!


The second guy from the right looks like he might be the Sgt. Schultz of the nork army.

/He knows nothing!
2013-04-03 08:53:07 PM
2 votes:
i.imgur.com
2013-04-03 08:47:31 PM
2 votes:

valar_morghulis: So... who's down for a pre-nuclear-holocaust orgy at my place?


With a name like yours?  hell no.

/valar dohaeris
2013-04-03 08:42:17 PM
2 votes:
i0.kym-cdn.com

/Kimchi Jong Un
2013-04-03 08:38:25 PM
2 votes:

iheartscotch: Exactly, mein Fürher; excuse me, Dear Leader. It is not only possible, it is essential. That is the whole idea of this machine, you know. Deterrence is the art of producing in the mind of the enemy... the fear to attack. And so, because of the automated and irrevocable decision making process which rules out human meddling, the doomsday machine is terrifying. It's simple to understand. And completely credible, and convincing


www.portlandmercury.com
2013-04-03 08:33:13 PM
2 votes:
North Korea approves a nuclear strike on America? Isn't North Korea a dictatorship run by Lil'un?  How does a dictatorship need permission and who did he get permission from?  Are they saying that yesterday if he wanted to launch nukes, he would've been denied, but today it's a-okay?

I give myself permission to take a shiat.  Now that I decided that I have permission, if I choose to do so, I may.  Whereas 30secs ago if I had wanted to I would've needed to go through the extra step of giving myself permission.  Unless this is like saying, "I"m going to take a shiat RIGHT NOW."  Then that is more of a warning and a threat and everyone should be scared, especially those people in the car with me.
2013-04-03 08:32:35 PM
2 votes:
Perhaps he believes that the US once tried to kill his daddy.
2013-04-03 08:31:27 PM
2 votes:

Ambivalence: Put me down for Okinawa in the NK nuke pool.


I'll put my money on them farking up and accidentally nuking themselves.
2013-04-03 08:26:08 PM
2 votes:
Come on USA, let's just liberate North Korea! They might not have oil, but think of all the kimchi and rice plus barbeque pork that we can "develop"! Better to take their kimchi, rice, and pork now than get blasted by nuclear bombs!
2013-04-03 08:21:40 PM
2 votes:
2013-04-03 08:17:44 PM
2 votes:
i0.kym-cdn.com
2013-04-03 08:13:31 PM
2 votes:
i50.tinypic.com
2013-04-03 04:14:47 PM
2 votes:
I used to think that he was doing this strictly to shore up support among the ruling military class.  Now...Now I have no clue what that lil bastard is up to.

He can't be serious.  We all know he can't hit the U.S.  How can this possibly end, except in humiliation for NK?

It's like..He's playing poker and going all-in with a handful of junk cards and we've seen them and he's still insisting that he's got a Royal Straight Full House Flush.
2013-04-03 04:07:55 PM
2 votes:
Go for it.
2013-04-04 10:16:14 AM
1 votes:
Did I miss the nuking? Did fatboy blow up himself? COME ON PEOPLE I GOT MONEY ON THIS SHIAT!!
2013-04-04 03:12:44 AM
1 votes:

awalkingecho: legislation got passed that mandated that the USDA had to harvest Monsanto's crops even if a federal judge ruled that they were unfit for planting or consumption, effectively making them forever above the law.


I just wish there was a political party I could stand for.

The Republicans are evil to women and poor people.

The Democrats are evil to people who want to actually exercise any of those rights in the constitution.


There needs to be a STFU Party that just tells people who have problems to STFU and GBTW and let people who actually know to do things handle the problems.

"Gay marriage is evil." STFU
"Guns kill people." STFU
"We need a bailout." STFU
"Third hand smoke." STFU
"Abortion is murder." STFU
"Punish criminals forever and ever." STFU

Our Presidential candidate can be that guy from 2 Stupid Dogs.
2013-04-04 01:20:33 AM
1 votes:

ciberido: SuperNinjaToad: China, NK, SK, Japan etc are pretty much atheistic/agnostic type societies and no one is going to go to war because Buddha, MSM, Allah or Jesus told them to nor are they fighting infidels and die as myrtyrs and be rewarded in the afterlife.

Errr, not really.  South Korea is about 25% Christian and about 25% Buddhist.  You could say about 50% of the population isn't religious, and you could argue that South Korea is a SECULAR country in the sense that religion doesn't permeate their politics the way it does in a middle-Eastern country or even in the USA, but it's far from being an "atheistic-type society."


I think a good chunk of the remaining 50% are worshippers of StarCraft.
2013-04-04 01:11:55 AM
1 votes:

idsfa: You couldn't *pay* me to be in South Korea right now.


I'll give you $15 trillion dollars to hang out in South Korea right now
2013-04-04 12:51:47 AM
1 votes:

awalkingecho: What's everyone make of this?

I haven't yet moved from threat level "beer" to threat level "tequila" yet, but this is making an interesting soundtrack to this thread.

Here, have a little taste: Atomic Cocktail.

Cheers!

2013-04-04 12:19:18 AM
1 votes:
i0.kym-cdn.com

Ready for action.
2013-04-04 12:13:33 AM
1 votes:
i.qkme.me
2013-04-04 12:03:44 AM
1 votes:
www.globalpost.com

Facepalm guy (top, 1/3 from right edge) has my sympathy.
2013-04-03 11:56:35 PM
1 votes:
24.media.tumblr.com
2013-04-03 11:56:01 PM
1 votes:

ciberido: The hats are to store extra food, right?


Those aren't hats. Years of living on a diet of "whatever the Chinese deign to give us" have caused certain members of the North Korean people to grow extraordinarily large, deformed brains. Those people are elevated to positions of honor and status. Those "hats" are actually their skulls.
2013-04-03 11:51:51 PM
1 votes:
You know, I have to say: If nothing else, when this whole situation is over and done with however it resolves... it's going to be a giant game of 'Told you so' on here. And I for one welcome our gloating overlords.
2013-04-03 11:43:24 PM
1 votes:
24.media.tumblr.com
2013-04-03 11:35:59 PM
1 votes:

Igor Jakovsky: If I had any shop skills I would put Un's head on Joffrey's  who is siiting on the iron throne.

Crazy kid sitting in a tenuous position of power, while those who are more powerful surround him with designs on said throne.


Ask and you shall receive. I actually made this about a month ago.

i.imgur.com
2013-04-03 11:35:00 PM
1 votes:

awalkingecho: Tellingthem: knocking out about 300 streetlights,

No wonder so many UFO sightings have been made near nuclear facilities. They're probing for a way to exact revenge.


I thought the probing was the revenge? Well... maybe not for everyone. I actually enjoy it
2013-04-03 11:22:38 PM
1 votes:
bring it on, biatches
www.tribute.ca
2013-04-03 11:20:53 PM
1 votes:

Hack Patooey: Well, fark

http://www.theaustralian.com.au/news/world/closure-opens-up-korean-te n sionsreal-and-clear-danger-from-pyongyang-says-us-defence-secretary-ch uck-hagel-of-north-korea/story-e6frg6so-1226612387112


i.imgur.com
2013-04-03 11:17:17 PM
1 votes:
25.media.tumblr.com
2013-04-03 11:16:31 PM
1 votes:

neongoats: MrHappyRotter: Good bye, Golden Age of the United States.  Very soon, our lives will be changing forever in ways we can't even begin to comprehend.  The wrath of North Korea will never, never be forgotten.  Sure, some of us will survive and adapt to a world that would be unrecognizable to us, but it will be just that, survival.  I only hope I'm one of the lucky ones that dies in the immediate aftermath and not one of the ones who will suffer under North Korean supremacy.  I for one will be spending my last remaining hours of this life making the best of what's left.  The cats and I live like we've never lived before.  I'll probably even stop reading Fark for a few minutes and stick my head outside long enough to enjoy the fresh, crisp cool air.  And then, I'll cry myself to sleep.

Some Best Korean nerd is skimming this thread and is going to use that verbatim in the next KCNA news broadcast as evidence of our growing despair.


It will have to be edited.  I mentioned the cats but the North Koreans believe we don't have any food here.
2013-04-03 11:11:28 PM
1 votes:

neongoats: MrHappyRotter: Good bye, Golden Age of the United States.  Very soon, our lives will be changing forever in ways we can't even begin to comprehend.  The wrath of North Korea will never, never be forgotten.  Sure, some of us will survive and adapt to a world that would be unrecognizable to us, but it will be just that, survival.  I only hope I'm one of the lucky ones that dies in the immediate aftermath and not one of the ones who will suffer under North Korean supremacy.  I for one will be spending my last remaining hours of this life making the best of what's left.  The cats and I live like we've never lived before.  I'll probably even stop reading Fark for a few minutes and stick my head outside long enough to enjoy the fresh, crisp cool air.  And then, I'll cry myself to sleep.

Some Best Korean nerd is skimming this thread and is going to use that verbatim in the next KCNA news broadcast as evidence of our growing despair.


And they'll use footage from Fallout: New Vegas for it!
2013-04-03 10:44:17 PM
1 votes:

Infernalist: Lusiphur:
[actual informed discussion]

But, you're spot on about China's economics and the wealth laying in NK territory.  The only problem is 'getting to it' will take a lot of initial investment.  A decade or more and untold millions, if not billions to modernize NK's mining operations to the point of being able to get at their RRE wealth.

China 'could' do it, but it's a massive long-term investment in a country that isn't their's AND they have cultural issues regarding the Korean people in general.


There are five nations on this planet that are culturally capable of serious long-term planning.  They are, in no particular order, Japan, Japan, Japan, China, and Japan.

As you say, China might not have the economic stability to invest in that kind of plan.  And the point you make about their view of the Korean people is definitely a factor.  But if they have the money, they would DEFINITELY have the will to pull it off.

Meanwhile, our corporations' idea of a long-term plan is whatever makes the most money over the next, gosh, eight whole months!
2013-04-03 10:43:11 PM
1 votes:

purple kool-aid and a jigger of formaldehyde: [pics.imcdb.org image 720x540]


He must be early, I've still got 4:59
2013-04-03 10:33:15 PM
1 votes:

equusdc: Screw the nukes. They need more impressive hats.

[i23.photobucket.com image 300x165]

Admit it, you marvelled.


I loved that show
2013-04-03 10:29:05 PM
1 votes:
"The moment of explosion is approaching fast."

That's ok Un, it happens to lots of men.
2013-04-03 10:12:58 PM
1 votes:
Here's a question: If we have a war with NK, how are we going to get the money for it? Borrow it from China?
2013-04-03 10:10:11 PM
1 votes:

cleverscreenname77: [i0.kym-cdn.com image 625x491]

/Kimchi Jong Un


media.tumblr.com
2013-04-03 10:05:30 PM
1 votes:

iheartscotch: Exactly, mein Fürher; excuse me, Dear Leader. It is not only possible, it is essential. That is the whole idea of this machine, you know. Deterrence is the art of producing in the mind of the enemy... the fear to attack. And so, because of the automated and irrevocable decision making process which rules out human meddling, the doomsday machine is terrifying. It's simple to understand. And completely credible, and convincing


Yes, but what good is a doomsday device if you don't tell anyone about it?!?!!
2013-04-03 10:03:27 PM
1 votes:

CygnusDarius: Meisaims: I feel actual solace knowing that if Korea starts nuking the US, I'll at least have a really interesting time reading the response on Fark.

I actually don't want to read those comments. It will be depressing.


"Oh shiat, I've been nuked, but inextricably my internet is still working despite the EMP."
2013-04-03 10:01:03 PM
1 votes:

oldfarthenry: This is like recess with the special-needs kid in his wheelchair ramming the sports jock in the ankles.
If the jock punches Timmy in the face he's deemed a bully. If he does nothing Timmy will pinch his nuts with his reaching stick.

There's no easy way out of this.


And the kid is sex-nuts and retard strong, to boot.
2013-04-03 10:00:01 PM
1 votes:
I feel actual solace knowing that if Korea starts nuking the US, I'll at least have a really interesting time reading the response on Fark.
2013-04-03 09:57:00 PM
1 votes:

Skeptos: [images.kpopstarz.com image 300x397]


I hate saying this, but if we were to give Best Korea one free shot... PSY!

/that song is annoying as HELL!!!
2013-04-03 09:56:21 PM
1 votes:
DEAR LEADER WE HAVE LAUNCHED THE NUKE! IT IS ON ITS WAY TO KILL THE AMERICANS AS WE SPEAK!!

You did WHAT?!

W...We...We just did what you wanted us to do.

YOU IDIOT!! I JUST WANTED TO SCARE THEM!! OH MAN THIS IS BAD, THIS IS REALLY BAD MAN!!
2013-04-03 09:55:53 PM
1 votes:
party at ground zero!


old fishbone is best fishbone
2013-04-03 09:54:44 PM
1 votes:

Publikwerks: oldfarthenry: Dear 'merikuh,
             we understand you're having yet another dick-waving contest with North Best Korea. Please contain any nuclear fallout within your own borders.

Kisses,
Canuckada & Meh-Kee-Koh

Dear Canada and Mexico;
I am altering the deal. Pray I don't alter it any further.
Kisses,
America


Dear Canada,

We're moving our country to Europe. Somehow, we're still working on the details, just in case. We hope that you can help us in this endeavor.

Hugs,
Mexico
2013-04-03 09:47:37 PM
1 votes:
He's learning all of his invasion tactics from Red Dawn. Not the remake mind you, the '80s just reached North Korea this year.
2013-04-03 09:36:00 PM
1 votes:
Good morning to you, too, sir.

Yes, sir. Whatever you say, sir. The code numbers please, sir.

 Archimedes. Hotdog. Rhubarb.Niner. Zero. Niner. Gotcha, sir.

Bearing. Mark 2-2-0.

www.shadowlocked.com

]
2013-04-03 09:31:25 PM
1 votes:

Mantour: [www.globalpost.com image 850x547]

Kim Jong-Un has a posse


Clearly photoshopped. All those dudes look the same.
2013-04-03 09:29:16 PM
1 votes:

Ow! That was my feelings!: zerkalo: [farm3.staticflickr.com image 384x288]

[media.screened.com image 719x408]


Fine... but I am not pissing on any sparkplugs this time.
2013-04-03 09:29:15 PM
1 votes:
Is it too late to get in on the NK Nuke Pool?

Give me $100 on "Middle of the Farking Pacific Ocean", $100 on "China By Accident", $100 more on "Middle of the Farking Indian Ocean" and $50 on Siberia.
2013-04-03 09:27:45 PM
1 votes:
Here's a crazy idea.

Suppose Kim-Jong-Un wants to leave Best Korea and live in the Western world.  He's basically been forced into a life that perhaps he never really wanted.  How would he possibly be able to get out of that life?  How about force the military to launch a bloodless coup that allows him and his perky wife to leave Korea and live a life of ease in China.  All he'd have to do is act so recklessly that the military would decide that he is no longer stable.
2013-04-03 09:27:08 PM
1 votes:

zerkalo: [farm3.staticflickr.com image 384x288]


media.screened.com
2013-04-03 09:22:12 PM
1 votes:

enik: oldfarthenry: Dear 'merikuh,
             we understand you're having yet another dick-waving contest with North Best Korea. Please contain any nuclear fallout within your own borders.

Kisses,
Canuckada & Meh-Kee-Koh

We'll make sure to send some fallout up your way. Hey, it may put some hair on your dicks (for once).


Ain't nobody got time for hairy dicks.
2013-04-03 09:19:46 PM
1 votes:
farm3.staticflickr.com
2013-04-03 08:55:34 PM
1 votes:

that bosnian sniper: Ambivalence: Put me down for Okinawa in the NK nuke pool.

I'll put my money on them farking up and accidentally nuking themselves.


Count me in on that pool too!
2013-04-03 08:51:04 PM
1 votes:

valar_morghulis: So... who's down for a pre-nuclear-holocaust orgy at my place?


25.media.tumblr.com
2013-04-03 08:45:46 PM
1 votes:
I TRIPLE dog dare ya!
2013-04-03 08:45:42 PM
1 votes:

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: This seemed relevant at the time.


Dammit, I should have known better.
2013-04-03 08:44:03 PM
1 votes:
So... who's down for a pre-nuclear-holocaust orgy at my place?
2013-04-03 08:42:21 PM
1 votes:
Does anyone ever feel like they are being sold or something, I mean final approval? That sounds like something a car sales man says as he slides an offer across a desk.
2013-04-03 08:40:05 PM
1 votes:
You know if someone just farts loud, NK will just be a big hole.
2013-04-03 08:38:50 PM
1 votes:
YOU GO NOW
2013-04-03 08:34:52 PM
1 votes:
Exactly, mein Fürher; excuse me, Dear Leader. It is not only possible, it is essential. That is the whole idea of this machine, you know. Deterrence is the art of producing in the mind of the enemy... the fear to attack. And so, because of the automated and irrevocable decision making process which rules out human meddling, the doomsday machine is terrifying. It's simple to understand. And completely credible, and convincing
2013-04-03 08:31:38 PM
1 votes:
Nuking that nightmarish little backwater of brainwashed midgets would be an act of mercy.
2013-04-03 08:28:59 PM
1 votes:

ClavellBCMI: Assuming Best Korea's Troll-In-Chief actually *has* nukes to spare to throw at someone, and assuming he actually has a missile to attach them to that can fly further than 1,000km, and assuming he has a guidance system that can actually allow a warhead to come within 5km of his intended target, he *might* actually be able to cause some damage... right before we turn Best Korea into the World's Biggest Glass-Covered Self-Lighting Parking Lot.


We lost face on the world stage when Bush invaded Iraq.

Do we get another peace prize when we incinerate millions of Nork civillians?

Is it a different because Obama is black?
2013-04-03 08:24:53 PM
1 votes:
i.imgur.com
2013-04-03 08:23:48 PM
1 votes:
No worries until he gets double secret approval.
2013-04-03 08:23:47 PM
1 votes:
cdn.avsforum.com
2013-04-03 08:23:36 PM
1 votes:
i.dailymail.co.uk

considering their maps have  straight lines on a plant thats round, even if they do launch they'll probably hit Antarctica.
2013-04-03 08:21:06 PM
1 votes:
 upload.wikimedia.org
2013-04-03 08:20:16 PM
1 votes:
Kim Jong-Un is a world master troll.
2013-04-03 08:14:02 PM
1 votes:
www.supplementinnercircle.com
2013-04-03 08:13:09 PM
1 votes:

MaliFinn:


Does he have enough generals points to unlock the nuclear helix?
2013-04-03 08:12:03 PM
1 votes:
shiat or get off the pot. You'll get hemorrhoids.
2013-04-03 08:11:24 PM
1 votes:
Rodman infected him with the crazy......
2013-04-03 08:11:14 PM
1 votes:
Put me down for Okinawa in the NK nuke pool.
2013-04-03 08:10:10 PM
1 votes:
Come at me, bro

24.media.tumblr.com
2013-04-03 08:03:37 PM
1 votes:
Don't worry, this guy's ready if needed...

cdn.hark.com
2013-04-03 08:02:24 PM
1 votes:

scottydoesntknow: So if he's supposed to be the supreme leader, why does he need "final approval"?


Shows what you know. Best Korea is a democratic republic, for the people. Duh.

/not intended to be a factual statement
2013-04-03 07:59:50 PM
1 votes:
So if he's supposed to be the supreme leader, why does he need "final approval"?
2013-04-03 07:51:31 PM
1 votes:
awww...isn't it cute.  little boy wants to play war.
2013-04-03 06:29:24 PM
1 votes:
Red Dawn, Olympus Has Fallen, turmoil in Cyprus.

This movie is getting good.
2013-04-03 05:53:58 PM
1 votes:

oldfarthenry: This is like recess with the special-needs kid in his wheelchair ramming the sports jock in the ankles.
If the jock punches Timmy in the face he's deemed a bully. If he does nothing Timmy will pinch his nuts with his reaching stick.

There's no easy way out of this.


This is quite possibly the best and most accurate description of this situation that I've read to date.
2013-04-03 04:21:27 PM
1 votes:

GAT_00: Infernalist: I used to think that he was doing this strictly to shore up support among the ruling military class.  Now...Now I have no clue what that lil bastard is up to.

He can't be serious.  We all know he can't hit the U.S.  How can this possibly end, except in humiliation for NK?

It's like..He's playing poker and going all-in with a handful of junk cards and we've seen them and he's still insisting that he's got a Royal Straight Full House Flush.

Yeah, this has gone long past just saber rattling for negotiating, unless he thinks that as long as he keeps upping the ante that eventually the UN restrictions will be eased.  That isn't going to happen.  What's more, he's Western educated in Switzerland, he knows that he's totally outmatched.

None of this makes sense.


That's what makes me wonder if Un is really calling the shots.
I think the salad bowl hats are really in charge, and they really believe it's still 1953.
 
Displayed 150 of 150 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report