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(Google)   Best Leader has final approval to launch nukes   (google.com ) divider line
    More: News, United States, National Defense University, Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel, Ministry of Unification, nuclear detonation, weapons-grade plutonium, North Korean military, interceptors  
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20924 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Apr 2013 at 8:07 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



639 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-04-03 04:05:57 PM  
So uh, fire ze missiles?
 
2013-04-03 04:07:55 PM  
Go for it.
 
2013-04-03 04:08:09 PM  
Execute the specific action that you have gone so far out of the way to imply that you intend to, you homosexual!
 
2013-04-03 04:09:16 PM  
Hope he's warmed up his throwing arm.
 
2013-04-03 04:10:12 PM  
Dear 'merikuh,
             we understand you're having yet another dick-waving contest with North Best Korea. Please contain any nuclear fallout within your own borders.

Kisses,
Canuckada & Meh-Kee-Koh
 
2013-04-03 04:11:10 PM  
Congratulations, Taxbongo.  You know the president has really screwed up when North Korea is directing threats your way.
 
2013-04-03 04:13:47 PM  
I think I figured it out.
He totally lost his shiat around the same time Twinkies were threatened.

Never fark with a fat kids snacks if he has an army and a nuke.

It all makes so much sense.
 
2013-04-03 04:14:47 PM  
I used to think that he was doing this strictly to shore up support among the ruling military class.  Now...Now I have no clue what that lil bastard is up to.

He can't be serious.  We all know he can't hit the U.S.  How can this possibly end, except in humiliation for NK?

It's like..He's playing poker and going all-in with a handful of junk cards and we've seen them and he's still insisting that he's got a Royal Straight Full House Flush.
 
2013-04-03 04:16:27 PM  
But does he have missiles that work?
 
2013-04-03 04:17:43 PM  

Infernalist: I used to think that he was doing this strictly to shore up support among the ruling military class.  Now...Now I have no clue what that lil bastard is up to.

He can't be serious.  We all know he can't hit the U.S.  How can this possibly end, except in humiliation for NK?

It's like..He's playing poker and going all-in with a handful of junk cards and we've seen them and he's still insisting that he's got a Royal Straight Full House Flush.


Yeah, this has gone long past just saber rattling for negotiating, unless he thinks that as long as he keeps upping the ante that eventually the UN restrictions will be eased.  That isn't going to happen.  What's more, he's Western educated in Switzerland, he knows that he's totally outmatched.

None of this makes sense.
 
2013-04-03 04:17:45 PM  
It takes a special kind of farkheadedness to be the crazy one in the Kim Jong family.
 
2013-04-03 04:20:22 PM  

Infernalist: I used to think that he was doing this strictly to shore up support among the ruling military class.  Now...Now I have no clue what that lil bastard is up to.

He can't be serious.  We all know he can't hit the U.S.  How can this possibly end, except in humiliation for NK?

It's like..He's playing poker and going all-in with a handful of junk cards and we've seen them and he's still insisting that he's got a Royal Straight Full House Flush.


Oh he can always stand down and claim to his people that the enemy has stood down in utter fear of their awesome armed forces. Unless he pushes just over the edge and shiat gets real. Then it'll be a matter of hours before DPRK as en entity is de facto gone.
 
2013-04-03 04:20:54 PM  

GAT_00: Infernalist: I used to think that he was doing this strictly to shore up support among the ruling military class.  Now...Now I have no clue what that lil bastard is up to.

He can't be serious.  We all know he can't hit the U.S.  How can this possibly end, except in humiliation for NK?

It's like..He's playing poker and going all-in with a handful of junk cards and we've seen them and he's still insisting that he's got a Royal Straight Full House Flush.

Yeah, this has gone long past just saber rattling for negotiating, unless he thinks that as long as he keeps upping the ante that eventually the UN restrictions will be eased.  That isn't going to happen.  What's more, he's Western educated in Switzerland, he knows that he's totally outmatched.

None of this makes sense.


And that's the part that scares me.  Unpredictable nations with nuclear arms are frightening.  Not quite 'PANIC' time yet, but...If I were the U.S. security apparatus, I'd be watching anything and everything coming out of NK right about now.
 
2013-04-03 04:21:13 PM  

AdolfOliverPanties: It takes a special kind of farkheadedness to be the crazy one in the Kim Jong family.



I read earlier that the speculation is he's doing this to prevent a coup. So, there are other crazier leaders that some of them want instead of him.
 
2013-04-03 04:21:27 PM  

GAT_00: Infernalist: I used to think that he was doing this strictly to shore up support among the ruling military class.  Now...Now I have no clue what that lil bastard is up to.

He can't be serious.  We all know he can't hit the U.S.  How can this possibly end, except in humiliation for NK?

It's like..He's playing poker and going all-in with a handful of junk cards and we've seen them and he's still insisting that he's got a Royal Straight Full House Flush.

Yeah, this has gone long past just saber rattling for negotiating, unless he thinks that as long as he keeps upping the ante that eventually the UN restrictions will be eased.  That isn't going to happen.  What's more, he's Western educated in Switzerland, he knows that he's totally outmatched.

None of this makes sense.


That's what makes me wonder if Un is really calling the shots.
I think the salad bowl hats are really in charge, and they really believe it's still 1953.
 
2013-04-03 04:22:53 PM  

CaptSacto: That's what makes me wonder if Un is really calling the shots.


I saw some article speculating this is all trying to stop a coup from happening, but I don't understand how this would stop a coup either.
 
2013-04-03 04:23:13 PM  

Infernalist: Now...Now I have no clue what that lil bastard is up to.


www.britishpictures.com
 
2013-04-03 04:26:07 PM  
The moment to panic is when their divisions start shifting position on the edge of the DMZ.   Until then, it's still not something to lose 'much' sleep over.
 
2013-04-03 04:30:42 PM  
This is like recess with the special-needs kid in his wheelchair ramming the sports jock in the ankles.
If the jock punches Timmy in the face he's deemed a bully. If he does nothing Timmy will pinch his nuts with his reaching stick.

There's no easy way out of this.
 
2013-04-03 04:31:50 PM  
i208.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-03 04:32:58 PM  
I get it. He saw the remake of Red Dawn and thought it a blueprint on how you conquer America.
 
2013-04-03 04:35:44 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-04-03 04:35:49 PM  
I wonder if they're coordinating with Iran. NorK attacks the South, Iran attacks Israel.

Ha, what a clusterfark that would be!

Iranian missile tech seems better than NorK's and they have been sharing tech with them...I wonder if they do have a better delivery system (Iranian-supplied) than their recent tests have suggested....
 
2013-04-03 04:37:41 PM  

crypticsatellite: I wonder if they're coordinating with Iran. NorK attacks the South, Iran attacks Israel.

Ha, what a clusterfark that would be!

Iranian missile tech seems better than NorK's and they have been sharing tech with them...I wonder if they do have a better delivery system (Iranian-supplied) than their recent tests have suggested....


We'd have long since seen signs of it.  Plus, those missiles don't exactly run on diesel fuel.  It'd be hard enough to build on their own, and it'd be impossible for them to build them in secret without us knowing.
 
2013-04-03 04:42:53 PM  
"Never has the whole Korean peninsula been exposed to such danger of a nuclear war as today," it added.

c481901.r1.cf2.rackcdn.com

You sure about that?
 
2013-04-03 04:46:54 PM  

SnakeLee: "Never has the whole Korean peninsula been exposed to such danger of a nuclear war as today," it added.

[c481901.r1.cf2.rackcdn.com image 364x370]

You sure about that?


Eisenhower openly considered ending the Korean war with nukes.  He thought it was a cheap way to wage war.
 
2013-04-03 05:01:28 PM  

GAT_00: Eisenhower openly considered ending the Korean war with nukes. He thought it was a cheap way to wage war.


Wow I just read up and I stand corrected.  It's weird that what I just referenced was a talking point that was discredited 25 years before I was even born, yet I remember at least one teacher in high school giving a whole lesson it.
 
Pud
2013-04-03 05:02:41 PM  
NO MERCY!!!

t0.gstatic.com
 
2013-04-03 05:09:35 PM  
My fear is that he'll float a nuke into the port of Long Beach.  I have no doubt they could do this.  This is exactly the scenario Oppenheimer presented to Congress back in 1945.

<i>Sen. Millikin: We... have mine-detecting devices, which are rather effective... I was wondering if anything of that kind might be available to use as a defense against that particular type of use of atomic bombs.

Dr. Oppenheimer: If you hired me to walk through the cellars of Washington to see whether there were atomic bombs, I think my most important tool would be a screwdriver to open the crates and look. I think that just walking by, swinging a little gadget would not give me the information </i>

It'd be REALLY hard to find a well hidden atomic bomb.   Even given 1940's technology, the radioactive plutonium core of an implosion type bomb would weight less than 20 pounds.
 
2013-04-03 05:12:00 PM  
Is this little shiat funny or what?
 
2013-04-03 05:15:41 PM  

SnakeLee: GAT_00: Eisenhower openly considered ending the Korean war with nukes. He thought it was a cheap way to wage war.

Wow I just read up and I stand corrected.  It's weird that what I just referenced was a talking point that was discredited 25 years before I was even born, yet I remember at least one teacher in high school giving a whole lesson it.


I'm very curious. What are you saying was a disproved talking point?
 
2013-04-03 05:16:57 PM  
"The moment of explosion is approaching fast," the North Korean military said.

i said the same thing on sunday morning.
 
2013-04-03 05:16:59 PM  

Pud: NO MERCY!!!

[t0.gstatic.com image 324x325]


I like this. What's next? Water ballons?
 
2013-04-03 05:17:42 PM  
www.gonemovies.com
 
2013-04-03 05:21:55 PM  

Red Shirt Blues: SnakeLee: GAT_00: Eisenhower openly considered ending the Korean war with nukes. He thought it was a cheap way to wage war.

Wow I just read up and I stand corrected.  It's weird that what I just referenced was a talking point that was discredited 25 years before I was even born, yet I remember at least one teacher in high school giving a whole lesson it.

I'm very curious. What are you saying was a disproved talking point?


Yeah, I can't quite follow what he's talking about either.

To back myself up, the directive in question was NSC 162/2.  It was a directive to treat nukes the same as any other weapon in a war.
 
2013-04-03 05:41:00 PM  

nekom: Oh he can always stand down and claim to his people that the enemy has stood down in utter fear of their awesome armed forces. Unless he pushes just over the edge and shiat gets real. Then it'll be a matter of hours before DPRK as en entity is de facto gone.


Indeed - the only question is whether or not the U.S. does it or China rolls in and does it for us.
 
2013-04-03 05:43:44 PM  
This guy is nuts

He is self-delusional

He actually thinks he can destroy us.

He thinks he is a god on earth and that he controls the world.

This is their leader.

Hopefully there will be cooler heads or a coup in NK, whichever comes first.
 
2013-04-03 05:51:19 PM  
This shiat really started ratcheting up right after the Dennis Rodman visit.. Did he turn Un onto coke and PCP?
 
2013-04-03 05:53:58 PM  

oldfarthenry: This is like recess with the special-needs kid in his wheelchair ramming the sports jock in the ankles.
If the jock punches Timmy in the face he's deemed a bully. If he does nothing Timmy will pinch his nuts with his reaching stick.

There's no easy way out of this.


This is quite possibly the best and most accurate description of this situation that I've read to date.
 
2013-04-03 05:58:21 PM  

GAT_00: Red Shirt Blues: SnakeLee: GAT_00: Eisenhower openly considered ending the Korean war with nukes. He thought it was a cheap way to wage war.

Wow I just read up and I stand corrected.  It's weird that what I just referenced was a talking point that was discredited 25 years before I was even born, yet I remember at least one teacher in high school giving a whole lesson it.

I'm very curious. What are you saying was a disproved talking point?

Yeah, I can't quite follow what he's talking about either.

To back myself up, the directive in question was NSC 162/2.  It was a directive to treat nukes the same as any other weapon in a war.


I think in his original post he was inferring that Mac wanted to use the bomb. Although he was authorized to use it he never requested it.
 
2013-04-03 06:10:23 PM  

Red Shirt Blues: GAT_00: Red Shirt Blues: SnakeLee: GAT_00: Eisenhower openly considered ending the Korean war with nukes. He thought it was a cheap way to wage war.

Wow I just read up and I stand corrected.  It's weird that what I just referenced was a talking point that was discredited 25 years before I was even born, yet I remember at least one teacher in high school giving a whole lesson it.

I'm very curious. What are you saying was a disproved talking point?

Yeah, I can't quite follow what he's talking about either.

To back myself up, the directive in question was NSC 162/2.  It was a directive to treat nukes the same as any other weapon in a war.

I think in his original post he was inferring that Mac wanted to use the bomb. Although he was authorized to use it he never requested it.


Yeah!  I thought this thread was going to be redlit so I made a lazy joke.  I had always heard that MacArthur wanted to use nukes in Korea, but Truman said no and relieved him of duty for pushing for it.  It turns out that other people wanted to use Nukes and Truman authorized mobilizing them, but MacArthur was against it.  It somehow got leaked to the press that it was the other way around and MacArthur was the one pushing for nukes -  I am not sure if it was just bad information or they were intentionally trying to discredit him.  Anyways, he had to testify against it a bunch to Congress and was ultimately exonerated.  Pretty interesting Wikipedia entry although I just kind of skimmed it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/President_Truman%27s_relief_of_General_D o uglas_MacArthur
 
2013-04-03 06:29:24 PM  
Red Dawn, Olympus Has Fallen, turmoil in Cyprus.

This movie is getting good.
 
2013-04-03 07:51:31 PM  
awww...isn't it cute.  little boy wants to play war.
 
2013-04-03 07:59:50 PM  
So if he's supposed to be the supreme leader, why does he need "final approval"?
 
2013-04-03 08:02:24 PM  

scottydoesntknow: So if he's supposed to be the supreme leader, why does he need "final approval"?


Shows what you know. Best Korea is a democratic republic, for the people. Duh.

/not intended to be a factual statement
 
2013-04-03 08:02:59 PM  
The more he moves toward war - the more I'm thinking that he had something up his sleeve.
 
2013-04-03 08:03:37 PM  
Don't worry, this guy's ready if needed...

cdn.hark.com
 
2013-04-03 08:08:32 PM  
Does anybody actually believe that he's in control of anything in North Korea? Dude has less power than the Queen of England.
 
2013-04-03 08:10:10 PM  
Come at me, bro

24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-04-03 08:10:39 PM  

FlashHarry: "The moment of explosion is approaching fast," the North Korean military said.

i said the same thing on sunday morning.


So did I just now, but then, I had chili for dinner. I think my butt should be registered as a WMD.
 
2013-04-03 08:11:14 PM  
Put me down for Okinawa in the NK nuke pool.
 
2013-04-03 08:11:21 PM  
encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
 
2013-04-03 08:11:24 PM  
Rodman infected him with the crazy......
 
2013-04-03 08:12:03 PM  
shiat or get off the pot. You'll get hemorrhoids.
 
2013-04-03 08:12:31 PM  
Yongbyon reactor
yeah, about that...
 
2013-04-03 08:13:09 PM  
MaliFinn:

Does he have enough generals points to unlock the nuclear helix?
 
2013-04-03 08:13:31 PM  
i50.tinypic.com
 
2013-04-03 08:14:01 PM  
So when is Israel going to launch their nukes and protect North America from the nuclear menace???????


/Wake me up when the nuke fallout is. Then I'll start looting whatever government office is breakable.
//Next up is which neighbors taste the best?
 
2013-04-03 08:14:02 PM  
www.supplementinnercircle.com
 
2013-04-03 08:14:09 PM  

Bontesla: The more he moves toward war - the more I'm thinking that he had something up his sleeve.


His sleevies are where he keeps his armies
 
2013-04-03 08:15:29 PM  
I actually wouldn't mind seeing them try. Heck, the US should even give them a 3 day advance warning of their attack, so that every man, woman and child has the chance to flee the country before it's razed to the ground.
 
2013-04-03 08:16:46 PM  
 
2013-04-03 08:17:03 PM  
I'm gonna keep posting this. Stratfor's take on Best Korea. Ferocious, Weak, and Crazy: The North Korean Strategy
 
2013-04-03 08:17:44 PM  
i0.kym-cdn.com
 
2013-04-03 08:17:52 PM  
I'm hoping this will be like an old Road Runner / Wile E. Coyote skit, where Dear Leader pushes the launch button and a little flag in the shape of a mushroom cloud pops up.
 
2013-04-03 08:18:48 PM  

Ow! That was my feelings!: I'm gonna keep posting this. Stratfor's take on Best Korea. Ferocious, Weak, and Crazy: The North Korean Strategy


The past 72 hours have ramped up well beyond Stratofr's expectations when that was written.
 
2013-04-03 08:19:10 PM  
ITS HAPPENING
 
2013-04-03 08:19:33 PM  
This is such bullshiat, they're not going to do anything. The North Koreans are in bed with the Obama administration and are only doing this to distract us from Benghazi. Study it out.
 
2013-04-03 08:20:16 PM  
Kim Jong-Un is a world master troll.
 
2013-04-03 08:20:23 PM  
They couldn't launch a water balloon.

/China will just kill him soon if he becomes too much of a problem.
 
2013-04-03 08:20:33 PM  

ultraholland: This is such bullshiat, they're not going to do anything. The North Koreans are in bed with the Obama administration and are only doing this to distract us from Benghazi. Study it out.


lol you a funny person
 
2013-04-03 08:21:06 PM  
 upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-04-03 08:21:31 PM  
The one worry I have is this little shiat manages to get one missile in the air and it explodes some crappy low kiloton yield somewhere harmless like the ocean or the wilderness of Alaska or Canada.
 
2013-04-03 08:21:40 PM  
 
2013-04-03 08:21:53 PM  
fc05.deviantart.net
 
2013-04-03 08:22:09 PM  

ultraholland: This is such bullshiat, they're not going to do anything. The North Koreans are in bed with the Obama administration and are only doing this to distract us from Benghazi.


Is it working?
 
2013-04-03 08:22:50 PM  
 
2013-04-03 08:22:55 PM  

dameron: My fear is that he'll float a nuke into the port of Long Beach.  I have no doubt they could do this.  This is exactly the scenario Oppenheimer presented to Congress back in 1945.

<i>Sen. Millikin: We... have mine-detecting devices, which are rather effective... I was wondering if anything of that kind might be available to use as a defense against that particular type of use of atomic bombs.

Dr. Oppenheimer: If you hired me to walk through the cellars of Washington to see whether there were atomic bombs, I think my most important tool would be a screwdriver to open the crates and look. I think that just walking by, swinging a little gadget would not give me the information </i>

It'd be REALLY hard to find a well hidden atomic bomb.   Even given 1940's technology, the radioactive plutonium core of an implosion type bomb would weight less than 20 pounds.


This is an extremely important point that nearly everyone overlooks. Best Korea doesn't need missiles to deliver a nuke to take out a US city.

It would be very easy to conceal a nuke in a shipping cargo container and set it off when it gets into SF Bay. Send it part by part to Pakistan as innocent looking bits and pieces (baseball sized chuck of plutonium goes in a tractor engine block), assemble it, put it in a lead box; and into a container headed to the US. You wouldn't even have to bribe people to look the other way. Shielding a nuke so that radiation detectors can't find it is completely trivial, six inches of lead will do the job just fine.

Pakistan got alot of their nuke parts from NK (or was it the other way around?) so, it can be done.

Or, put it on a submarine and send it on a one way trip. You don't have to go all the way to California, Tokyo, US bases in South Korea, or Pearl Harbor are all alot closer.

Probably NK is just running at the mouth, but since they *can* deliver a nuke already, I think this needs to be taken seriously. I'd suggest a nuclear air burst to take out the electronics of the entire country, and then conventionally bomb every military-related installation into complete dust. It's a bad scenario, but I see no particular reason to think that NK is batshiat insane and means business this time.
 
2013-04-03 08:23:06 PM  

YouPeopleAreCrazy: Come at me, bro

[24.media.tumblr.com image 500x333]


Dude, my brother is on one of those. STFU unless it's your butt on that ship.

/not interested in having him come home in a body bag
 
2013-04-03 08:23:11 PM  

dameron: My fear is that he'll float a nuke into the port of Long Beach.  I have no doubt they could do this.  This is exactly the scenario Oppenheimer presented to Congress back in 1945.

<i>Sen. Millikin: We... have mine-detecting devices, which are rather effective... I was wondering if anything of that kind might be available to use as a defense against that particular type of use of atomic bombs.

Dr. Oppenheimer: If you hired me to walk through the cellars of Washington to see whether there were atomic bombs, I think my most important tool would be a screwdriver to open the crates and look. I think that just walking by, swinging a little gadget would not give me the information </i>

It'd be REALLY hard to find a well hidden atomic bomb.   Even given 1940's technology, the radioactive plutonium core of an implosion type bomb would weight less than 20 pounds.


This, this is the only thing that has me concerned.

They can't get a missle over here, but a warhead in the cargo hold of some shiatball oil fired freighter?

No problem.
 
2013-04-03 08:23:36 PM  
i.dailymail.co.uk

considering their maps have  straight lines on a plant thats round, even if they do launch they'll probably hit Antarctica.
 
2013-04-03 08:23:36 PM  

cretinbob: [www.gonemovies.com image 468x357]


How many times have I told you I don't want no horsin' around on the plane?
 
2013-04-03 08:23:47 PM  

Mr.Poops: I actually wouldn't mind seeing them try. Heck, the US should even give them a 3 day advance warning of their attack, so that every man, woman and child has the chance to flee the country before it's razed to the ground.


They won't raze the whole country, just the capital. There really isn't anything else of significance besides empty farms and starving peasants.
 
2013-04-03 08:23:47 PM  
cdn.avsforum.com
 
2013-04-03 08:23:48 PM  
No worries until he gets double secret approval.
 
2013-04-03 08:24:09 PM  

The Bestest: Ow! That was my feelings!: I'm gonna keep posting this. Stratfor's take on Best Korea. Ferocious, Weak, and Crazy: The North Korean Strategy

The past 72 hours have ramped up well beyond Stratofr's expectations when that was written.


Nope. It's all still the same bullshiat, different day. Nothing has changed except the attention paid. Best Korea is not gonna start a war they have no chance to 'win'.
 
2013-04-03 08:24:53 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-04-03 08:25:38 PM  

oldfarthenry: This is like recess with the special-needs kid in his wheelchair ramming the sports jock in the ankles.
If the jock punches Timmy in the face he's deemed a bully. If he does nothing Timmy will pinch his nuts with his reaching stick.

There's no easy way out of this.


LOL'D SO HARD

\because its true
 
2013-04-03 08:25:51 PM  

GAT_00: SnakeLee: "Never has the whole Korean peninsula been exposed to such danger of a nuclear war as today," it added.

[c481901.r1.cf2.rackcdn.com image 364x370]

You sure about that?

Eisenhower openly considered ending the Korean war with nukes.  He thought it was a cheap way to wage war.


I think you're thinking of MacArthur. None of the biographies of Ike that I've read claim that he considered at all.

It is true that the military in the US at that time viewed nukes as a very good bang for the buck bargain without much thought about what a nuclear war would really mean...
 
2013-04-03 08:26:08 PM  
Come on USA, let's just liberate North Korea! They might not have oil, but think of all the kimchi and rice plus barbeque pork that we can "develop"! Better to take their kimchi, rice, and pork now than get blasted by nuclear bombs!
 
2013-04-03 08:26:09 PM  
At this point it would be safe to conclude that not only does NK not have a way out of this situation, it wants this to happen.

I guess after 50 years NK is in "let's end this war, one way or another" mode.
 
2013-04-03 08:26:34 PM  
Assuming Best Korea's Troll-In-Chief actually *has* nukes to spare to throw at someone, and assuming he actually has a missile to attach them to that can fly further than 1,000km, and assuming he has a guidance system that can actually allow a warhead to come within 5km of his intended target, he *might* actually be able to cause some damage... right before we turn Best Korea into the World's Biggest Glass-Covered Self-Lighting Parking Lot.
 
2013-04-03 08:27:19 PM  

Spanky_McFarksalot: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 638x448]


4 servers?  Apparently one of them fancy restaurants.
 
2013-04-03 08:28:07 PM  

ultraholland: This is such bullshiat, they're not going to do anything. The North Koreans are in bed with the Obama administration and are only doing this to distract us from Benghazi. Study it out.


Oh, I like the cut of your kimchi!
 
2013-04-03 08:28:35 PM  
Spanky_McFarksalot: i.dailymail.co.uk 

MY GOD, we misunderestimated  them, they have enough food to make at least 2 people fat!
 
2013-04-03 08:28:57 PM  

GAT_00: CaptSacto: That's what makes me wonder if Un is really calling the shots.

I saw some article speculating this is all trying to stop a coup from happening, but I don't understand how this would stop a coup either.


Right now, Kim is not personally responsible for any of the atrocities and human rights violations going on in Best Korea (in that he didn't order them, he's just perpetuating them). His generals and advisors, however, are. If Kim wants to make things better and normalize relations with the West, everyone else gets to stand in front of the Hague, and they know it--so if Kim HAS been making such noises, the generals have likewise been making noises to the effect of "Nice lifestyle you got here, 'Dear Leader', shame if anything happened to it."

OTOH, if Kim starts a war he knows he has to lose, he can surrender to the US on his own terms, which would include throwing his loyal generals under an Abrams tank (literally or figuratively, doesn't much matter) while he keeps his pudgy head intact. It's a win-win for him at this point.
 
2013-04-03 08:28:59 PM  

ClavellBCMI: Assuming Best Korea's Troll-In-Chief actually *has* nukes to spare to throw at someone, and assuming he actually has a missile to attach them to that can fly further than 1,000km, and assuming he has a guidance system that can actually allow a warhead to come within 5km of his intended target, he *might* actually be able to cause some damage... right before we turn Best Korea into the World's Biggest Glass-Covered Self-Lighting Parking Lot.


We lost face on the world stage when Bush invaded Iraq.

Do we get another peace prize when we incinerate millions of Nork civillians?

Is it a different because Obama is black?
 
2013-04-03 08:29:51 PM  
Your funeral.  Really.
 
2013-04-03 08:29:56 PM  
Well this is a good propaganda move to show the people that he is strong like his ironfisted daddy and granddaddy.  The people don't know any better.
 
2013-04-03 08:30:03 PM  

Ow! That was my feelings!: The Bestest: Ow! That was my feelings!: I'm gonna keep posting this. Stratfor's take on Best Korea. Ferocious, Weak, and Crazy: The North Korean Strategy

The past 72 hours have ramped up well beyond Stratofr's expectations when that was written.

Nope. It's all still the same bullshiat, different day. Nothing has changed except the attention paid. Best Korea is not gonna start a war they have no chance to 'win'.


That's where the "crazy" part comes in!
 
2013-04-03 08:30:06 PM  

dameron: It'd be REALLY hard to find a well hidden atomic bomb. Even given 1940's technology, the radioactive plutonium core of an implosion type bomb would weight less than 20 pounds.


They have radiation detectors that would pick it up, that said, it might be too late by the time we detect them.
 
2013-04-03 08:30:45 PM  
This is so farking crazy. Just completely nuts. On one hand there is a good chance it's a bluff... but at the same time if NK does have something up it's sleeve they are crazy enough to use it. I hope it is a bluff otherwise a lot of people are going to die, lots of people in Seoul and alot of poor brainwashed North Koreans. And the rebuilding of NK would make Iraq look like putting up a plastic playground.
 
2013-04-03 08:31:03 PM  
i306.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-03 08:31:18 PM  

Gyrfalcon: OTOH, if Kim starts a war he knows he has to lose, he can surrender to the US on his own terms, which would include throwing his loyal generals under an Abrams tank (literally or figuratively, doesn't much matter) while he keeps his pudgy head intact. It's a win-win for him at this point.


Not really, because once an actual shooting war starts he'd be either totally sequestered from command and put in a locked room somewhere, or murdered.
 
2013-04-03 08:31:27 PM  

Ambivalence: Put me down for Okinawa in the NK nuke pool.


I'll put my money on them farking up and accidentally nuking themselves.
 
2013-04-03 08:31:38 PM  
Nuking that nightmarish little backwater of brainwashed midgets would be an act of mercy.
 
2013-04-03 08:32:14 PM  

Bontesla: The more he moves toward war - the more I'm thinking that he had something up his sleeve.


Yeah, I have that same feeling. It seems most everyone here thinks this is some opportunity to laugh and joke about the situation by mocking N. Korea. I don't think they should underestimate Korea's capabilities though. If I were ruling an underdog nation I would purposefully mislead intelligence, build allies, make myself and the country look weak and incapable, build an arsenal on foreign and domestic soil, and launch an attack on my enemies infrastructure, kill the Internet, release airborn biological weapons, chemical, and nukes from outside my own country.
 
2013-04-03 08:32:18 PM  
I think at this point the only thing stopping North Korea from being a large flat sheet of volcanic glass is the worry that China might step in.

NK has nukes.  It is threatening to use them (allbeit we all know they'd be hard pressed to launch them 5 feet!) agains the west (The US, South Korea, Japan - so I'm fine!)....all we need is some divvy private taking a potshot to give the US casus beli and it's GO TIME.

But, as I said, the Chinese would likely intervene, now you've got two nuclear states (who can launch at each other) looking down the barrel of their ICBM's...

This is China's place...they need to intervene and just take over in NK.  If they really want to be a world power, this is the price they have to pay...you keep order in your own backyard...
 
2013-04-03 08:32:35 PM  
Perhaps he believes that the US once tried to kill his daddy.
 
2013-04-03 08:32:39 PM  
Uns gonna die like Sam Neill in Red October and hes going to say he would have liked to have seen Azeroth.

/end scene
 
2013-04-03 08:33:13 PM  
North Korea approves a nuclear strike on America? Isn't North Korea a dictatorship run by Lil'un?  How does a dictatorship need permission and who did he get permission from?  Are they saying that yesterday if he wanted to launch nukes, he would've been denied, but today it's a-okay?

I give myself permission to take a shiat.  Now that I decided that I have permission, if I choose to do so, I may.  Whereas 30secs ago if I had wanted to I would've needed to go through the extra step of giving myself permission.  Unless this is like saying, "I"m going to take a shiat RIGHT NOW."  Then that is more of a warning and a threat and everyone should be scared, especially those people in the car with me.
 
2013-04-03 08:33:13 PM  
If you were really serious about attacking an enemy, would you announce your intentions it to the entire world so he prepare for it?
 
2013-04-03 08:33:42 PM  
Silly little toad drank his own Kool Aid. The article seemed a little long for something that is 0% threat.
 
2013-04-03 08:34:34 PM  

Giltric: ClavellBCMI: Assuming Best Korea's Troll-In-Chief actually *has* nukes to spare to throw at someone, and assuming he actually has a missile to attach them to that can fly further than 1,000km, and assuming he has a guidance system that can actually allow a warhead to come within 5km of his intended target, he *might* actually be able to cause some damage... right before we turn Best Korea into the World's Biggest Glass-Covered Self-Lighting Parking Lot.

We lost face on the world stage when Bush invaded Iraq.

Do we get another peace prize when we incinerate millions of Nork civillians?

Is it a different because Obama is black?


No, it is not different, it is probably not the correct response, but if Kim Jong-Un does throw even a single nuke at anyone, the response will be the Total Annihilation of North Korea, whether we like it or not.
 
2013-04-03 08:34:52 PM  

enemy of the state: GAT_00: SnakeLee: "Never has the whole Korean peninsula been exposed to such danger of a nuclear war as today," it added.

[c481901.r1.cf2.rackcdn.com image 364x370]

You sure about that?

Eisenhower openly considered ending the Korean war with nukes.  He thought it was a cheap way to wage war.

I think you're thinking of MacArthur. None of the biographies of Ike that I've read claim that he considered at all.

It is true that the military in the US at that time viewed nukes as a very good bang for the buck bargain without much thought about what a nuclear war would really mean...


His policy directives say otherwise.  Eisenhower has been whitewashed by history once we decided nukes were bad.
 
2013-04-03 08:34:52 PM  
Exactly, mein Fürher; excuse me, Dear Leader. It is not only possible, it is essential. That is the whole idea of this machine, you know. Deterrence is the art of producing in the mind of the enemy... the fear to attack. And so, because of the automated and irrevocable decision making process which rules out human meddling, the doomsday machine is terrifying. It's simple to understand. And completely credible, and convincing
 
2013-04-03 08:35:10 PM  
 

Giltric: ClavellBCMI: Assuming Best Korea's Troll-In-Chief actually *has* nukes to spare to throw at someone, and assuming he actually has a missile to attach them to that can fly further than 1,000km, and assuming he has a guidance system that can actually allow a warhead to come within 5km of his intended target, he *might* actually be able to cause some damage... right before we turn Best Korea into the World's Biggest Glass-Covered Self-Lighting Parking Lot.

We lost face on the world stage when Bush invaded Iraq.

Do we get another peace prize when we incinerate millions of Nork civillians?

Is it a different because Obama is black?


If you seriously think America wouldn't retaliate to a nuclear strike with one of it's own because we might get bad PR, you're an idiot.
 
2013-04-03 08:35:34 PM  
He's committing suicide by country.
 
2013-04-03 08:35:40 PM  

jjwars1: build allies


North Korea has not done this.

BigLuca: Isn't North Korea a dictatorship run by Lil'un?


No.
 
2013-04-03 08:36:36 PM  

Wizard Drongo: I think at this point the only thing stopping North Korea from being a large flat sheet of volcanic glass is the worry that China might step in.


And the fact that he haven't actually attacked any nuclear powers.
 
2013-04-03 08:36:38 PM  

Wizard Drongo: I think at this point the only thing stopping North Korea from being a large flat sheet of volcanic glass is the worry that China might step in.

NK has nukes.  It is threatening to use them (allbeit we all know they'd be hard pressed to launch them 5 feet!) agains the west (The US, South Korea, Japan - so I'm fine!)....all we need is some divvy private taking a potshot to give the US casus beli and it's GO TIME.

But, as I said, the Chinese would likely intervene, now you've got two nuclear states (who can launch at each other) looking down the barrel of their ICBM's...

This is China's place...they need to intervene and just take over in NK.  If they really want to be a world power, this is the price they have to pay...you keep order in your own backyard...


China might be reaching a tipping point. Fatty Kim
 
2013-04-03 08:36:41 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-04-03 08:37:36 PM  

PonceAlyosha: jjwars1: build allies

North Korea has not done this.

BigLuca: Isn't North Korea a dictatorship run by Lil'un?

No.


I mostly wrote that for the take-a-shiat-in-the-car analogy.
 
2013-04-03 08:37:39 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: This seemed relevant at the time.


YES!
 
2013-04-03 08:37:54 PM  
So, should I plan on making that emergency asylum to Canuckistan plan come to fruition?
 
2013-04-03 08:38:09 PM  

BigLuca: PonceAlyosha: jjwars1: build allies

North Korea has not done this.

BigLuca: Isn't North Korea a dictatorship run by Lil'un?

No.

I mostly wrote that for the take-a-shiat-in-the-car analogy.


Oh, sorry. I'm grouchy and facty tonight.
 
2013-04-03 08:38:17 PM  

xenophon10k: Hope he's warmed up his throwing arm.


Pitcher's got a rubber arm.
 
2013-04-03 08:38:25 PM  

iheartscotch: Exactly, mein Fürher; excuse me, Dear Leader. It is not only possible, it is essential. That is the whole idea of this machine, you know. Deterrence is the art of producing in the mind of the enemy... the fear to attack. And so, because of the automated and irrevocable decision making process which rules out human meddling, the doomsday machine is terrifying. It's simple to understand. And completely credible, and convincing


www.portlandmercury.com
 
2013-04-03 08:38:43 PM  
i.imgur.com">
 
2013-04-03 08:38:50 PM  
Just a bunch of old guys sending young people off to die for them, something our species just looooooves.
And bystanders, can't forget them. That's what they get for not being rich and powerful.

Ugh... I was a teenager when Iraq started, but now I'm old enough to care. fark this shiat.
 
2013-04-03 08:38:50 PM  
YOU GO NOW
 
2013-04-03 08:39:27 PM  
Next week we're going to hear that North Korean TV is reporting that they 'won' the tense standoff and the west has made significant concessions to Dear Leader at which time he'll double rations from 4 grains of rice per day to 8, and he'll be wildly popular in his country.

Someone owes me a beer when I'm right.
 
2013-04-03 08:39:27 PM  
KJU is very young. He has lived a very sheltered and priviledged live. He is basically clueless to the world let alone the typical north korean peasant.  His dad is gone, his mom is gone, he hates his brothers and the welfare of his countrymen is obviously non existent. His marriage was arranged for political convenience and show and probably not a lot of love there either.
That makes him dangerous and unpredictable.
If he sees his rule and death as imminent, he wouldn't blink an eye to take down millions with him. His fellow countrymen let alone South Korean means ziltch.
 
2013-04-03 08:40:05 PM  
You know if someone just farts loud, NK will just be a big hole.
 
2013-04-03 08:40:42 PM  
Best Korea obviously doesn't realize we're not scared by their threats.
 
2013-04-03 08:40:55 PM  
What has China had to say about all this, aside from supporting the UN resolutions?  A guy (country) on your border threatens to nuke your largest trading partner.  C'mon China.
 
2013-04-03 08:40:59 PM  

that bosnian sniper: Ambivalence: Put me down for Okinawa in the NK nuke pool.

I'll put my money on them farking up and accidentally nuking themselves.


Which wouldn't be far from the realm of possibility; both horrifying and hilarious as hell.
 
2013-04-03 08:41:01 PM  

SuperNinjaToad: That makes him dangerous and unpredictable.
If he sees his rule and death as imminent, he wouldn't blink an eye to take down millions with him. His fellow countrymen let alone South Korean means ziltch.


...You do realize he doesn't have control of the armed forces, right?
 
2013-04-03 08:41:48 PM  
This is China's place...they need to intervene and just take over in NK.  If they really want to be a world power, this is the price they have to pay...you keep order in your own backyard...

Quite frankly, I think China is the one turning the key in Un's back.  Their leaders must be ROFLing about all this.  Look at it from their perspective... Duhmerica will step in and eliminate the NK leadership structure, destabilise the country for 10 years - who cares?  In the meantime, they'll get to closely study the latest in American Nuke defense and stealth technology, right on their own doorstep.  In terms of testing their equipment, it couldn't get any better... and I think you can safely trust that plenty of current Chinese equipment will be tested from within NK's borders.
 
2013-04-03 08:42:17 PM  
i0.kym-cdn.com

/Kimchi Jong Un
 
2013-04-03 08:42:21 PM  
Does anyone ever feel like they are being sold or something, I mean final approval? That sounds like something a car sales man says as he slides an offer across a desk.
 
2013-04-03 08:42:44 PM  
i.imgur.com">
 
2013-04-03 08:42:53 PM  

PonceAlyosha: SuperNinjaToad: That makes him dangerous and unpredictable.
If he sees his rule and death as imminent, he wouldn't blink an eye to take down millions with him. His fellow countrymen let alone South Korean means ziltch.

...You do realize he doesn't have control of the armed forces, right?


Isn't he Chairman of the National Defence Commission?
 
2013-04-03 08:42:56 PM  

Igor Jakovsky: What has China had to say about all this, aside from supporting the UN resolutions?  A guy (country) on your border threatens to nuke your largest trading partner.  C'mon China.


See Ow! That was my feelings!' post.
 
2013-04-03 08:43:17 PM  
Unlike his grandfather & father  Kim Jong-un  isn't going to live to see his 31st birthday. One of his "generals" will kill him in the next few months.
 
2013-04-03 08:43:33 PM  

Gyrfalcon: GAT_00: CaptSacto: That's what makes me wonder if Un is really calling the shots.

I saw some article speculating this is all trying to stop a coup from happening, but I don't understand how this would stop a coup either.

Right now, Kim is not personally responsible for any of the atrocities and human rights violations going on in Best Korea (in that he didn't order them, he's just perpetuating them). His generals and advisors, however, are. If Kim wants to make things better and normalize relations with the West, everyone else gets to stand in front of the Hague, and they know it--so if Kim HAS been making such noises, the generals have likewise been making noises to the effect of "Nice lifestyle you got here, 'Dear Leader', shame if anything happened to it."

OTOH, if Kim starts a war he knows he has to lose, he can surrender to the US on his own terms, which would include throwing his loyal generals under an Abrams tank (literally or figuratively, doesn't much matter) while he keeps his pudgy head intact. It's a win-win for him at this point.


Assuming your hypothetical scenerio is true, I would think the generals would easily sense his plot and murder him first.
 
2013-04-03 08:43:34 PM  
 
2013-04-03 08:44:03 PM  
So... who's down for a pre-nuclear-holocaust orgy at my place?
 
2013-04-03 08:44:27 PM  
I'm curious how China is going to react to this.  NK is probably making their lives very difficult right now, it's either shiat or get off the pot.  Keeping America pissed at this sad dictatorship can't be good for business.

I don't see Kim Jong-Un lasting long, no matter what occurs.
 
2013-04-03 08:45:42 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: This seemed relevant at the time.


Dammit, I should have known better.
 
2013-04-03 08:45:46 PM  
I TRIPLE dog dare ya!
 
2013-04-03 08:46:15 PM  

ClavellBCMI: Giltric: ClavellBCMI: Assuming Best Korea's Troll-In-Chief actually *has* nukes to spare to throw at someone, and assuming he actually has a missile to attach them to that can fly further than 1,000km, and assuming he has a guidance system that can actually allow a warhead to come within 5km of his intended target, he *might* actually be able to cause some damage... right before we turn Best Korea into the World's Biggest Glass-Covered Self-Lighting Parking Lot.

We lost face on the world stage when Bush invaded Iraq.

Do we get another peace prize when we incinerate millions of Nork civillians?

Is it a different because Obama is black?

No, it is not different, it is probably not the correct response, but if Kim Jong-Un does throw even a single nuke at anyone, the response will be the Total Annihilation of North Korea, whether we like it or not.


The only thing keeping China from being the worlds only economic and military superpower is the US currently being at the top of the pyramid.

If I was China I would use NK to start an engagement with the US and then decimate the US in an all or nothing war.

A war like that with the resources and minerals of the US as a prize would be worth losing a couple hundred million loyal surplus males....because a war for resources will have to happen eventually...might as well be now.

be right back...gonna write a treatment.
 
2013-04-03 08:46:16 PM  

Infernalist: He can't be serious. We all know he can't hit the U.S. How can this possibly end, except in humiliation for NK?


You forget that if Pyongyang launches a rocket that leaves eyesight, NK will tell everyone in NK that New York is now a smoking crater in the ground. They can't really be humiliated in this front because they have no international standing amongst the aware and alert. The biggest nuke NK can field could not destroy New York City with a direct hit.
 
2013-04-03 08:46:27 PM  
i.imgur.com">
 
2013-04-03 08:46:39 PM  

Guntram Shatterhand: I'm curious how China is going to react to this.  NK is probably making their lives very difficult right now, it's either shiat or get off the pot.  Keeping America pissed at this sad dictatorship can't be good for business.

I don't see Kim Jong-Un lasting long, no matter what occurs.


One thing we can be pretty sure of is that China doesn't want another US ally on its border.  If I were Xi I'd be thinking of a pre-emptive occupation of the north (and deposition of the Kims).
 
2013-04-03 08:46:48 PM  

Wizard Drongo: This is China's place...they need to intervene and just take over in NK.  If they really want to be a world power, this is the price they have to pay...you keep order in your own backyard...


You think China wants 25 million starving, brainwashed, Koreans who are probably lucky to have seen a cell phone in their lives to care for, when China and the US are still heavily economically interdependent, and China's staring down the barrel of a major economic bust of their own?

If it's game on, conflict between the US and China will probably end up being over Chinese treatment of Korean refugees, which'll in all likelihood err on the "ethnic cleansing" side of "crappy". China doesn't want this stunted, twenty-something moron in their backyard starting crap with the West, not as long as it's a powder keg in the form of a major humanitarian crisis waiting to happen, and as long as chilled diplomatic and economic relations would be their own death warrant. If you can say one thing about the Chinese government, it's that it's pragmatic to the extreme, and intervening in favor of North Korea in a potential conflict at this point is about the furthest from.
 
2013-04-03 08:47:03 PM  

Fallout Boy: Kim Jong-Un is a world master troll.


Un is SkinnyHead.  I knew it!
 
2013-04-03 08:47:10 PM  

LewDux: Spanky_McFarksalot: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 638x448] 

MY GOD, we misunderestimated  them, they have enough food to make at least 2 people fat!


For a country that hasn't sent soldiers outside its borders since 1953, those generals sure have a shiat-ton of fruit salad on their chests.
 
2013-04-03 08:47:31 PM  

valar_morghulis: So... who's down for a pre-nuclear-holocaust orgy at my place?


With a name like yours?  hell no.

/valar dohaeris
 
2013-04-03 08:47:34 PM  

Wolfling: Look at it from their perspective... Duhmerica will step in and eliminate the NK leadership structure, destabilise the country for 10 years - who cares? I


Uh, China farking cares because they don't want several million dumbass North Korean refugees flooding their borders. They want the situation to stay as it is. A unified Korea only weakens China.
 
2013-04-03 08:47:45 PM  
Marshal805:
If you seriously think America wouldn't retaliate to a nuclear strike with one of it's own because we might get bad PR, you're an idiot.


The U.S. is not going to nuke china's pet yorkie no matter how hard it bites us.  It's not NK we need to worry about upsetting, it's China.  There will be no nukes and we don't need them. NK isn't strong enough to withstand an even moderate conventional assault from U.S./SK and allies.
 
2013-04-03 08:48:42 PM  

Skeptos: Guntram Shatterhand: I'm curious how China is going to react to this.  NK is probably making their lives very difficult right now, it's either shiat or get off the pot.  Keeping America pissed at this sad dictatorship can't be good for business.

I don't see Kim Jong-Un lasting long, no matter what occurs.

One thing we can be pretty sure of is that China doesn't want another US ally on its border.  If I were Xi I'd be thinking of a pre-emptive occupation of the north (and deposition of the Kims).


This. They know we won't go in unless provoked and if we were provoked that it will be over before they could even pick up the phone.
 
2013-04-03 08:50:18 PM  

James!: But does he have missiles that work?


It's only slightly more likely than them having nukes that work.
 
2013-04-03 08:50:21 PM  

MFAWG: ultraholland: This is such bullshiat, they're not going to do anything. The North Koreans are in bed with the Obama administration and are only doing this to distract us from Benghazi. Study it out.

Oh, I like the cut of your kimchi!


Yeah, the "study it out" part was the giveaway.
Honestly one does kinda wonder if this all is a plot by the military industrial complex to get out of Sea-Quest Station.

//sequestration
 
2013-04-03 08:50:29 PM  

TalenLee: Infernalist: He can't be serious. We all know he can't hit the U.S. How can this possibly end, except in humiliation for NK?

You forget that if Pyongyang launches a rocket that leaves eyesight, NK will tell everyone in NK that New York is now a smoking crater in the ground. They can't really be humiliated in this front because they have no international standing amongst the aware and alert. The biggest nuke NK can field could not destroy New York City with a direct hit.



they don't have to destroy anything....just have to make it uninhabitable with fallout....thats what the whole dirty nuke/bomb thing was about in the current war on terror.
 
2013-04-03 08:51:00 PM  
 
2013-04-03 08:51:04 PM  

valar_morghulis: So... who's down for a pre-nuclear-holocaust orgy at my place?


25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-04-03 08:51:26 PM  
Ya, good luck with that, Kimmy From Full House. There's a long road between making a nuclear blast with a nearly 15 ft diameter device and having the capacity to deliver the payload with ICBMs... I don't see some DPRK version of sputnik in space, so I'm gonna have to call bullshiat on you "approving" something you have zero capability of actually doing. That's like me approving a trillion dollars of spending... though technically true, it's also friggin retarded because I don't have a trillion dollars.
 
2013-04-03 08:52:02 PM  
Ambivalence:
The U.S. is not going to nuke china's pet yorkie no matter how hard it bites us.  It's not NK we need to worry about upsetting, it's China.  There will be no nukes and we don't need them. NK isn't strong enough to withstand an even moderate conventional assault from U.S./SK and allies.

Besides if things come to that I have to believe that China will deal with it rather than let the US move it's forces that close to the border.
 
2013-04-03 08:52:14 PM  

PonceAlyosha: Gyrfalcon: OTOH, if Kim starts a war he knows he has to lose, he can surrender to the US on his own terms, which would include throwing his loyal generals under an Abrams tank (literally or figuratively, doesn't much matter) while he keeps his pudgy head intact. It's a win-win for him at this point.

Not really, because once an actual shooting war starts he'd be either totally sequestered from command and put in a locked room somewhere, or murdered.


I think he is enough of a coward that he would just suck-start a pistol.
 
2013-04-03 08:52:29 PM  
I do have to wonder where they are going with all this bellicose rhetoric. They obviously can't follow up on any of this, and there are no mass troop movements reported, so nothing major is going to happen. It all appears to be for internal consumption, but to what end? I think it is to distract from their upcoming famine, but how long can they keep it up? Could be a run up to a small border skirmish after which they can declare victory, but that could get out of control easily for several reasons.  If this is somehow positioning for the usual "return to the table, get food, keep building bombs, that isn't going to work this time, they have crossed the line with their threat, well, actually just saying that they are going to use nuclear weapons.
 
2013-04-03 08:53:07 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-04-03 08:53:28 PM  

farkingismybusiness: valar_morghulis: So... who's down for a pre-nuclear-holocaust orgy at my place?


There should be far more Dr.Steve Brule in this thread...
 
2013-04-03 08:53:40 PM  

KarmicDisaster: I think it is to distract from their upcoming famine,


Upcoming? Wouldn't that imply the famine has stopped in the past decade?
 
2013-04-03 08:54:06 PM  
www.globalpost.com

Kim Jong-Un has a posse
 
2013-04-03 08:54:18 PM  
KarmicDisaster: It all appears to be for internal consumption, but to what end?

he's having trouble consolidating power and is afraid of a coup
 
2013-04-03 08:55:05 PM  

enemy of the state: GAT_00: SnakeLee: "Never has the whole Korean peninsula been exposed to such danger of a nuclear war as today," it added.

[c481901.r1.cf2.rackcdn.com image 364x370]

You sure about that?

Eisenhower openly considered ending the Korean war with nukes.  He thought it was a cheap way to wage war.

I think you're thinking of MacArthur. None of the biographies of Ike that I've read claim that he considered at all.

It is true that the military in the US at that time viewed nukes as a very good bang for the buck bargain without much thought about what a nuclear war would really mean...


It was easier to be casual about nuclear war when we had an overwhelming superiority in capability.  At the time MacArthur was removed the Soviets had maybe a half-dozen deployable warheads; we had somewhere in the neighborhood of 400.
 
2013-04-03 08:55:09 PM  

PonceAlyosha: KarmicDisaster: I think it is to distract from their upcoming famine,

Upcoming? Wouldn't that imply the famine has stopped in the past decade?


That was just routine sporadic starvation and malnourishment. They are setting up for the big one.
 
2013-04-03 08:55:13 PM  

Igor Jakovsky: What has China had to say about all this, aside from supporting the UN resolutions?  A guy (country) on your border threatens to nuke your largest trading partner.  C'mon China.


Why do you think China hasn't said a SINGLE word about us flying B2s, F-22s by their doorsteps? or the US Navy hauling a giantass Egg (X-band search and targeting radar) and putting it in their backyard pool?

Sometimes the silence speaks louder than shouting or muscle flexing. If you don't think Obama has been talking to Xi on the secured line I got tons of steak and potatoes in Pyongyang to sell you.
 
2013-04-03 08:55:23 PM  
If I had any shop skills I would put Un's head on Joffrey's  who is siiting on the iron throne.

Crazy kid sitting in a tenuous position of power, while those who are more powerful surround him with designs on said throne.
 
2013-04-03 08:55:25 PM  

LewDux: Spanky_McFarksalot: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 638x448] 

MY GOD, we misunderestimated  them, they have enough food to make at least 2 people fat!


The second guy from the right looks like he might be the Sgt. Schultz of the nork army.

/He knows nothing!
 
2013-04-03 08:55:29 PM  

Marshal805: If you seriously think America wouldn't retaliate to a nuclear strike with one of it's own because we might get bad PR, you're an idiot


Not at all. I'm saying incinerating millions of people is worse than whatever estimates of civillian casualties from the Iraq war any anti war website can come up with.

Plus once mushrooms start sporeing you don't really know what other nuclear capable countries reactions might be especially those who might not view the US in a positive light...like Russia and China.

After the first...the rest are free.
 
2013-04-03 08:55:34 PM  

that bosnian sniper: Ambivalence: Put me down for Okinawa in the NK nuke pool.

I'll put my money on them farking up and accidentally nuking themselves.


Count me in on that pool too!
 
2013-04-03 08:55:37 PM  
Dear Leader,

dtdstudios.com

Are you reallysure this is a good idea?
 
2013-04-03 08:55:44 PM  

Giltric: TalenLee: Infernalist: He can't be serious. We all know he can't hit the U.S. How can this possibly end, except in humiliation for NK?

You forget that if Pyongyang launches a rocket that leaves eyesight, NK will tell everyone in NK that New York is now a smoking crater in the ground. They can't really be humiliated in this front because they have no international standing amongst the aware and alert. The biggest nuke NK can field could not destroy New York City with a direct hit.


they don't have to destroy anything....just have to make it uninhabitable with fallout....thats what the whole dirty nuke/bomb thing was about in the current war on terror.


Well, given that we're talking about America, if they successfully blow up some buildings with box cutters, you'll all lose your goddamn mind and invade Belgium, so I suppose they have ways to maximise their side effects.
 
2013-04-03 08:55:52 PM  

xenophon10k: Hope he's warmed up his throwing arm.


That's all they have to do though, litterally lob one just over the border where we have tens of thousands of troops located on base... They don't even need to worry about crossing the pacific to hit us...
 
2013-04-03 08:55:54 PM  

MaliFinn: [i208.photobucket.com image 399x330]


World in Conflict!
 
2013-04-03 08:55:59 PM  
DEAR LEADER, I CAN WALK!!!
 
2013-04-03 08:56:14 PM  

Voiceofreason01: KarmicDisaster: It all appears to be for internal consumption, but to what end?

he's having trouble consolidating power and is afraid of a coup


How does this work internally though? Keeps all the generals at their posts on the font so they can't plot?
 
2013-04-03 08:56:19 PM  

Mantour: Kim Jong-Un has a posse


Is it just me; or does that look like a cardboard cut-out?
 
2013-04-03 08:56:29 PM  

ClavellBCMI: Assuming Best Korea's Troll-In-Chief actually *has* nukes to spare to throw at someone, and assuming he actually has a missile to attach them to that can fly further than 1,000km, and assuming he has a guidance system that can actually allow a warhead to come within 5km of his intended target, he *might* actually be able to cause some damage... right before we turn Best Korea into the World's Biggest Glass-Covered Self-Lighting Parking Lot.


SEe, the thing that worries me is an EMP blast.  He doesnt' necessarily have to get it close, just explode it 100 miles above the west coast and we are farked in a big way.

That's what worries me, A LOT.
 
2013-04-03 08:57:02 PM  

Voiceofreason01: KarmicDisaster: It all appears to be for internal consumption, but to what end?

he's having trouble consolidating power and is afraid of a coup


I guess executing his Generals by mortar round didnt work.
 
2013-04-03 08:57:41 PM  
may you live in interesting times
 
2013-04-03 08:58:04 PM  

jjwars1: Bontesla: The more he moves toward war - the more I'm thinking that he had something up his sleeve.

Yeah, I have that same feeling. It seems most everyone here thinks this is some opportunity to laugh and joke about the situation by mocking N. Korea. I don't think they should underestimate Korea's capabilities though. If I were ruling an underdog nation I would purposefully mislead intelligence, build allies, make myself and the country look weak and incapable, build an arsenal on foreign and domestic soil, and launch an attack on my enemies infrastructure, kill the Internet, release airborn biological weapons, chemical, and nukes from outside my own country.


Agreed. Even if they don't have nuclear capabilities - they certainly have the potential to inflict damage. Lil Kim was educated in what - Switzerland? He's had exposure beyond his little bubble.

Either he's truly the world's worst poker player or we're underestimating him.

And certainly - he's got to know that they would not survive (as a country) in this conflict.

If this were a novel - I would be writing that Lil Kim is looking to either hide or expose something heinous. Perhaps Lil Kim has gotten word that his administration is being investigated for a genocide and a war is a really great way to get other people to destroy damning evidence?
 
2013-04-03 08:58:15 PM  
Somehow all of this is giving me the urge to play Homefront again.
 
2013-04-03 08:58:26 PM  

YouPeopleAreCrazy: Come at me, bro

[24.media.tumblr.com image 500x333]


That picture just reminds me how old and dirty that damn shiatty kitty was.
 
2013-04-03 08:59:13 PM  
KarmicDisaster:
How does this work internally though? Keeps all the generals at their posts on the font so they can't plot?

Same way it works everywhere else. Keeping the generals occupied is a small part of it but it's more about making the people think there's some huge state of emergency so that nobody has a chance to try anything.
 
2013-04-03 08:59:18 PM  

Infernalist: I used to think that he was doing this strictly to shore up support among the ruling military class.  Now...Now I have no clue what that lil bastard is up to.

He can't be serious.  We all know he can't hit the U.S.  How can this possibly end, except in humiliation for NK?

It's like..He's playing poker and going all-in with a handful of junk cards and we've seen them and he's still insisting that he's got a Royal Straight Full House Flush.


Right now? I think he might actually farking do it. And if he does, well, we pretty much have no choice but to just end this.
 
2013-04-03 08:59:50 PM  
Oh, and remember this guy too:

upload.wikimedia.org

Remember when he tried to missile Jerusalem? With an emphasis on 'tried'?
 
2013-04-03 09:00:32 PM  

Igor Jakovsky: If I had any shop skills I would put Un's head on Joffrey's  who is siiting on the iron throne.

Crazy kid sitting in a tenuous position of power, while those who are more powerful surround him with designs on said throne.


nah, his head needs to be on an animated gif of Chunk doing the truffle shuffle, and then projected onto the clouds above the DMZ.
 
2013-04-03 09:01:50 PM  

Interrupted Infinitum: DEAR LEADER, I CAN WALK!!!


I can no longer sit back and allow communist infiltration, communist indoctrination, communist subversion, and the international communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.
 
2013-04-03 09:02:09 PM  
Everybody cheered when his daddy died, and now he's implementing the final stage of his PR campaign to actually make people miss Kim Jon Il. Well played.
 
2013-04-03 09:02:34 PM  
China, you have the Greenlight to implement Operation: Kill the Little Mother farker

/budget cuts eliminated the Department of Operation Naming
 
2013-04-03 09:02:39 PM  
I kind of miss Gaddafi.  He had his own style.

All he needed was a white glove and he would have been the Michael Jackson of terrorists.
 
2013-04-03 09:03:14 PM  

VvonderJesus: Everybody cheered when his daddy died, and now he's implementing the final stage of his PR campaign to actually make people miss Kim Jon Il. Well played.


In a hundred years, will people think that Kim Jon Il is Kim Jon the 2nd?
 
2013-04-03 09:03:17 PM  
I would believe he's trying to get America to reach out with diplomacy.  Then, if we contact him, and biatch slap him, he can then turn around and tell his people we folded in the face of his might.


But then again, he may just be batshiat.

<shrug>
 
2013-04-03 09:03:27 PM  

studebaker hoch: I kind of miss Gaddafi.  He had his own style.

All he needed was a white glove and he would have been the Michael Jackson of terrorists.


He certainly had the best personal guard.
 
2013-04-03 09:03:42 PM  

markie_farkie: Rodman


Maybe RODMAN'S THE BOMB!!!!

Our only solution is to blow up Rodman or drop him into the Mariana Trench. Just to be safe.
 
2013-04-03 09:03:54 PM  
Should I put on my serious business pants?
 
2013-04-03 09:04:27 PM  

roughridersfan: markie_farkie: Rodman

Maybe RODMAN'S THE BOMB!!!!

Our only solution is to blow up Rodman or drop him into the Mariana Trench. Just to be safe.


Save the cheerreader, save the world!
 
2013-04-03 09:05:10 PM  

TalenLee: Giltric: TalenLee: Infernalist: He can't be serious. We all know he can't hit the U.S. How can this possibly end, except in humiliation for NK?

You forget that if Pyongyang launches a rocket that leaves eyesight, NK will tell everyone in NK that New York is now a smoking crater in the ground. They can't really be humiliated in this front because they have no international standing amongst the aware and alert. The biggest nuke NK can field could not destroy New York City with a direct hit.


they don't have to destroy anything....just have to make it uninhabitable with fallout....thats what the whole dirty nuke/bomb thing was about in the current war on terror.

Well, given that we're talking about America, if they successfully blow up some buildings with box cutters, you'll all lose your goddamn mind and invade Belgium, so I suppose they have ways to maximise their side effects.


Well, as we have seen since then, the passengers aren't going to put up with that crap (shoebomber, underwear bomber, any number of unruly people who have been tied to their seats) but Homeland Security and the TSA haven't stopped growing since then so there might be a point to your hyperbole.
 
2013-04-03 09:05:44 PM  

Bondith: LewDux: Spanky_McFarksalot: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 638x448] 

MY GOD, we misunderestimated  them, they have enough food to make at least 2 people fat!

For a country that hasn't sent soldiers outside its borders since 1953, those generals sure have a shiat-ton of fruit salad on their chests.


And it looks like a lot of them are repeated.
 
2013-04-03 09:06:10 PM  
Skybird, this is Dropkick with a red dash alpha message in two parts. Break. Break. Red dash alpha. Red dash alpha.
 
2013-04-03 09:06:41 PM  

studebaker hoch: I kind of miss Gaddafi.  He had his own style.

All he needed was a white glove and he would have been the Michael Jackson of terrorists.


The problem with Gaddafi was that he was not crazy.  He was ruthless, but what looked crazy was done to hold on to power, and he was quite successful at holding on to power.

Point: I hope Kim is crazy.  If so, he will most likely be overthrown.  If not, oh fark.
 
2013-04-03 09:06:55 PM  

oldfarthenry: Dear 'merikuh,
             we understand you're having yet another dick-waving contest with North Best Korea. Please contain any nuclear fallout within your own borders.

Kisses,
Canuckada & Meh-Kee-Koh


Dear Canada and Mexico;
I am altering the deal. Pray I don't alter it any further.
Kisses,
America
 
2013-04-03 09:07:15 PM  

James!: But does he have missiles that work?


He did put a satellite into orbit.
 
2013-04-03 09:07:26 PM  
Saddam Hussein just looked tired at the end.
 
2013-04-03 09:07:29 PM  

neongoats: Igor Jakovsky: If I had any shop skills I would put Un's head on Joffrey's  who is siiting on the iron throne.

Crazy kid sitting in a tenuous position of power, while those who are more powerful surround him with designs on said throne.

nah, his head needs to be on an animated gif of Chunk doing the truffle shuffle, and then projected onto the clouds above the DMZ.


Admittedly that would be pretty funny.
 
2013-04-03 09:07:49 PM  

Gosling: Infernalist: I used to think that he was doing this strictly to shore up support among the ruling military class.  Now...Now I have no clue what that lil bastard is up to.

He can't be serious.  We all know he can't hit the U.S.  How can this possibly end, except in humiliation for NK?

It's like..He's playing poker and going all-in with a handful of junk cards and we've seen them and he's still insisting that he's got a Royal Straight Full House Flush.

Right now? I think he might actually farking do it. And if he does, well, we pretty much have no choice but to just end this.


Nah, there has been a lot of bluster, but it's still just a show for internal consumption. He might torpedo another patrol boat, but there will be no large scale conventional or nuclear attack by the North.
They are crazy, and stupid, but they aren't that crazy and stupid.
 
2013-04-03 09:07:57 PM  
images.kpopstarz.com
 
2013-04-03 09:09:13 PM  

tripleseven: I would believe he's trying to get America to reach out with diplomacy.  Then, if we contact him, and biatch slap him, he can then turn around and tell his people we folded in the face of his might.


But then again, he may just be batshiat.

<shrug>


That may have been his aim, seeing as it's always ended that way before, but given that this time everyone's responding with 'no, you know what, fark you'... there wasn't anything in the playbook for that.
 
2013-04-03 09:09:22 PM  

Wrencher: James!: But does he have missiles that work?

He did put a satellite into orbit.


In the most technical sense of that term. It had a lower orbit than Sputnik
 
2013-04-03 09:10:36 PM  

roughridersfan: Bondith: LewDux: Spanky_McFarksalot: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 638x448] 

MY GOD, we misunderestimated  them, they have enough food to make at least 2 people fat!

For a country that hasn't sent soldiers outside its borders since 1953, those generals sure have a shiat-ton of fruit salad on their chests.

And it looks like a lot of them are repeated.


Hah!  They're even photoshopping their medals.
 
2013-04-03 09:10:38 PM  

Wrencher: James!: But does he have missiles that work?

He did put a satellite into orbit.


Up is kind of a different direction then around.
 
2013-04-03 09:10:43 PM  

Ow! That was my feelings!: I'm gonna keep posting this. Stratfor's take on Best Korea. Ferocious, Weak, and Crazy: The North Korean Strategy


Yeah, I read that from an earlier thread. Very recommended.
 
2013-04-03 09:10:45 PM  

dforkus: Nah, there has been a lot of bluster, but it's still just a show for internal consumption. He might torpedo another patrol boat, but there will be no large scale conventional or nuclear attack by the North.
They are crazy, and stupid, but they aren't that crazy and stupid.


Kim Jong-Il? Yes.

Kim Jong-Un? We don't know. He doesn't know where the Rubicon is and the military seems like they're trying to shove him over it.
 
2013-04-03 09:10:59 PM  

Bontesla: jjwars1: Bontesla: The more he moves toward war - the more I'm thinking that he had something up his sleeve.

Yeah, I have that same feeling. It seems most everyone here thinks this is some opportunity to laugh and joke about the situation by mocking N. Korea. I don't think they should underestimate Korea's capabilities though. If I were ruling an underdog nation I would purposefully mislead intelligence, build allies, make myself and the country look weak and incapable, build an arsenal on foreign and domestic soil, and launch an attack on my enemies infrastructure, kill the Internet, release airborn biological weapons, chemical, and nukes from outside my own country.

Agreed. Even if they don't have nuclear capabilities - they certainly have the potential to inflict damage. Lil Kim was educated in what - Switzerland? He's had exposure beyond his little bubble.

Either he's truly the world's worst poker player or we're underestimating him.

And certainly - he's got to know that they would not survive (as a country) in this conflict.

If this were a novel - I would be writing that Lil Kim is looking to either hide or expose something heinous. Perhaps Lil Kim has gotten word that his administration is being investigated for a genocide and a war is a really great way to get other people to destroy damning evidence?


Wouldn't be a disaster thread without you!

/Got Bonnaroo tix, Macklemore will be there.
//Headed down to ATL on Friday, is the Clermont as awesome as claimed?
 
2013-04-03 09:11:39 PM  
Do those guys even know which way is up?
 
2013-04-03 09:11:47 PM  

firefly212: I don't see some DPRK version of sputnik in space


It's visiting Antarctica right now but it will be back over North America soon enough. E.g. here's a list of upcoming visible passes for Washington DC.
 
2013-04-03 09:12:43 PM  
The DOD can use this to justify higher budget demands.
The DHS will use this to justify tighter controls in our country.
The greatest threat to the American population is not outside our borders, but within.
 
2013-04-03 09:13:54 PM  

roughridersfan: markie_farkie: Rodman

Maybe RODMAN'S THE BOMB!!!!

Our only solution is to blow up Rodman or drop him into the Mariana Trench. Just to be safe.


Dennis Rodman has already been in something as cold, dark and deep as the Mariana Trench: it's called Madonna's vagina.
 
2013-04-03 09:14:01 PM  
Just checking in here from my bomb shelter.  Nothing yet.  Other USA Farkers, are you still with us?
 
2013-04-03 09:14:01 PM  
silly Americans.  NK is not starting a war to win.  They want to lose!  fight Americans, lose and you get American money to rebuild your country.  Win, you get nothing.  look at Vietnam.  They won and what did they get? 3 decades of misery until China become a threat to US.  nope, much safer to lose to US.
 
2013-04-03 09:14:15 PM  
AliceBToklasLives

studebaker hoch: I kind of miss Gaddafi. He had his own style.

All he needed was a white glove and he would have been the Michael Jackson of terrorists.

The problem with Gaddafi was that he was not crazy. He was ruthless, but what looked crazy was done to hold on to power, and he was quite successful at holding on to power.

Point: I hope Kim is crazy. If so, he will most likely be overthrown. If not, oh fark.


If by "overthrown" you mean "put down by someone with access to him", then maybe we have hope.

/His people are too poor and too enslaved to do anything but follow orders.
 
2013-04-03 09:14:15 PM  

Igor Jakovsky: Well, as we have seen since then, the passengers aren't going to put up with that crap (shoebomber, underwear bomber, any number of unruly people who have been tied to their seats) but Homeland Security and the TSA haven't stopped growing since then so there might be a point to your hyperbole.


I think it bears reitration: Suggesting America would invade Belgium was hyperbole. Belgians, after all, are mostly white.
 
2013-04-03 09:14:21 PM  

Wrencher: He did put a satellite into orbit.


They probably have the range to hit Alaska with a conventional missile, but even that's a long shot. The only real threat the pose would be to the US bases in South Korea.
 
nbt
2013-04-03 09:14:58 PM  
You know when you need to worry?  When China starts evacuating civilians downwind of N. Korea!
 
2013-04-03 09:15:08 PM  

nekom: Just checking in here from my bomb shelter.  Nothing yet.  Other USA Farkers, are you still with us?


Nope, we're all dead.
 
2013-04-03 09:15:32 PM  
i.imgur.com
I'm sure Washington is more interested in China's posture in this event than Best Korea's.
 
2013-04-03 09:15:49 PM  

Lost Thought 00: nekom: Just checking in here from my bomb shelter.  Nothing yet.  Other USA Farkers, are you still with us?

Nope, we're all dead.


Nobody here but us chickens...
 
2013-04-03 09:15:51 PM  

sweet-daddy-2: The DOD can use this to justify higher budget demands.
The DHS will use this to justify tighter controls in our country.
The greatest threat to the American population is not outside our borders, but within.


...how in the fark are you linking threats of a sovereign nation to the DHS?  And why is your first reaction to a nuclear power threatening to nuke the US "Oh, this is just an excuse for the MIC to get more of our tax dollars!"?
 
2013-04-03 09:17:34 PM  
sweet-daddy-2:
The greatest threat to the American population is not outside our borders, but within.

Yeah, it's unthinking people like you.
 
2013-04-03 09:17:48 PM  
Spanky_McFarksalot:
i.dailymail.co.uk


considering their maps have  straight lines on a plant thats round, even if they do launch they'll probably hit Antarctica.

I think all those goofy hats used up North Korea's entire budget for curved lines.
 
2013-04-03 09:18:45 PM  

nbt: You know when you need to worry?  When China starts evacuating civilians downwind of N. Korea!


Or when they start massing troops on the border:

http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2013/04/01/china-mobilizing-troops-j et s-near-n-korean-border/
 
2013-04-03 09:19:24 PM  
I'm just not scared yet. When the people I know who know to be scared get scared, then I'll get scared.
 
2013-04-03 09:19:46 PM  

farm3.staticflickr.com

 
2013-04-03 09:20:01 PM  
He was probably just talking about the awesome game he got for his new Best Computer we saw a few days back:
img7.joyreactor.cc

/hot like 1998
 
2013-04-03 09:20:24 PM  

Skeptos: nbt: You know when you need to worry?  When China starts evacuating civilians downwind of N. Korea!

Or when they start massing troops on the border:

http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2013/04/01/china-mobilizing-troops-j et s-near-n-korean-border/


Considering the official line that's been coming out of China as of late?  It's very likely those troops are there as refugee control.
 
2013-04-03 09:20:54 PM  

Girion47: Bontesla: jjwars1: Bontesla: The more he moves toward war - the more I'm thinking that he had something up his sleeve.

Yeah, I have that same feeling. It seems most everyone here thinks this is some opportunity to laugh and joke about the situation by mocking N. Korea. I don't think they should underestimate Korea's capabilities though. If I were ruling an underdog nation I would purposefully mislead intelligence, build allies, make myself and the country look weak and incapable, build an arsenal on foreign and domestic soil, and launch an attack on my enemies infrastructure, kill the Internet, release airborn biological weapons, chemical, and nukes from outside my own country.

Agreed. Even if they don't have nuclear capabilities - they certainly have the potential to inflict damage. Lil Kim was educated in what - Switzerland? He's had exposure beyond his little bubble.

Either he's truly the world's worst poker player or we're underestimating him.

And certainly - he's got to know that they would not survive (as a country) in this conflict.

If this were a novel - I would be writing that Lil Kim is looking to either hide or expose something heinous. Perhaps Lil Kim has gotten word that his administration is being investigated for a genocide and a war is a really great way to get other people to destroy damning evidence?

Wouldn't be a disaster thread without you!

/Got Bonnaroo tix, Macklemore will be there.
//Headed down to ATL on Friday, is the Clermont as awesome as claimed?


Oh my goodness! Have an amazing time.
I'm sooo envious! Is this your first time in Atlanta??
 
2013-04-03 09:21:19 PM  

I_Am_Weasel: Perhaps he believes that the US once tried to kill his daddy.


Oh, shiat! Hadn't thought of that.
 
2013-04-03 09:21:21 PM  

Eltardo: Skybird, this is Dropkick with a red dash alpha message in two parts. Break. Break. Red dash alpha. Red dash alpha.


As someone who is listening for any interesting HF military traffic..I'm getting a kick out of that
reference...
 
2013-04-03 09:21:25 PM  

oldfarthenry: Dear 'merikuh,
             we understand you're having yet another dick-waving contest with North Best Korea. Please contain any nuclear fallout within your own borders.

Kisses,
Canuckada & Meh-Kee-Koh


We'll make sure to send some fallout up your way. Hey, it may put some hair on your dicks (for once).
 
2013-04-03 09:21:41 PM  

sweet-daddy-2: The DOD can use this to justify higher budget demands.
The DHS will use this to justify tighter controls in our country.
The greatest threat to the American population is not outside our borders, but within.


And YOU'RE going to use this to buy more tinfoil.
 
2013-04-03 09:22:12 PM  

enik: oldfarthenry: Dear 'merikuh,
             we understand you're having yet another dick-waving contest with North Best Korea. Please contain any nuclear fallout within your own borders.

Kisses,
Canuckada & Meh-Kee-Koh

We'll make sure to send some fallout up your way. Hey, it may put some hair on your dicks (for once).


Ain't nobody got time for hairy dicks.
 
2013-04-03 09:23:05 PM  

tinderfitles: Lost Thought 00: nekom: Just checking in here from my bomb shelter.  Nothing yet.  Other USA Farkers, are you still with us?

Nope, we're all dead.

Nobody here but us chickens...


Yah.
 
2013-04-03 09:23:13 PM  

Skeptos: nbt: You know when you need to worry?  When China starts evacuating civilians downwind of N. Korea!

Or when they start massing troops on the border:

http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2013/04/01/china-mobilizing-troops-j et s-near-n-korean-border/


To prevent refugees from crossing. Not likely a prelude to military action.
 
2013-04-03 09:24:45 PM  

Lost Thought 00: In the most technical sense of that term. It had a lower orbit than Sputnik


The North Korean satellite's current orbit is about 100 km above the International Space Station. Sputnik did have a higher apogee but its orbit was elliptical with a perigee of only 215 km (according to Wikipedia). Sputnik re-entered the atmosphere after 3 months and the Korean satellite is coming up on 4.
 
2013-04-03 09:25:20 PM  
It's like the US, SK and Japan are ignoring the North's insane threats for once and Kim doesn't know what else to do except make a bigger and bigger threats desperately hoping that the US will back down.
 
2013-04-03 09:26:18 PM  

TV's Vinnie: Spanky_McFarksalot:
[i.dailymail.co.uk image 638x448]


considering their maps have  straight lines on a plant thats round, even if they do launch they'll probably hit Antarctica.

I think all those goofy hats used up North Korea's entire budget for curved lines.


Someone else called them "salad bowl hats" in this thread.
 
2013-04-03 09:26:28 PM  
I am late to the party and have not read The farking thread, but the first thing I thought of was:

media.aintitcool.com
 
2013-04-03 09:27:08 PM  

zerkalo: [farm3.staticflickr.com image 384x288]


media.screened.com
 
2013-04-03 09:27:29 PM  

Bontesla: Girion47: Bontesla: jjwars1: Bontesla: The more he moves toward war - the more I'm thinking that he had something up his sleeve.

Yeah, I have that same feeling. It seems most everyone here thinks this is some opportunity to laugh and joke about the situation by mocking N. Korea. I don't think they should underestimate Korea's capabilities though. If I were ruling an underdog nation I would purposefully mislead intelligence, build allies, make myself and the country look weak and incapable, build an arsenal on foreign and domestic soil, and launch an attack on my enemies infrastructure, kill the Internet, release airborn biological weapons, chemical, and nukes from outside my own country.

Agreed. Even if they don't have nuclear capabilities - they certainly have the potential to inflict damage. Lil Kim was educated in what - Switzerland? He's had exposure beyond his little bubble.

Either he's truly the world's worst poker player or we're underestimating him.

And certainly - he's got to know that they would not survive (as a country) in this conflict.

If this were a novel - I would be writing that Lil Kim is looking to either hide or expose something heinous. Perhaps Lil Kim has gotten word that his administration is being investigated for a genocide and a war is a really great way to get other people to destroy damning evidence?

Wouldn't be a disaster thread without you!

/Got Bonnaroo tix, Macklemore will be there.
//Headed down to ATL on Friday, is the Clermont as awesome as claimed?

Oh my goodness! Have an amazing time.
I'm sooo envious! Is this your first time in Atlanta??


No it's not my first time there, but it will be my first "vacation" there.   I've done the aquarium/CNN HQ and a few restaurants while traveling through, but that was with co-workers.
 
2013-04-03 09:27:45 PM  
Here's a crazy idea.

Suppose Kim-Jong-Un wants to leave Best Korea and live in the Western world.  He's basically been forced into a life that perhaps he never really wanted.  How would he possibly be able to get out of that life?  How about force the military to launch a bloodless coup that allows him and his perky wife to leave Korea and live a life of ease in China.  All he'd have to do is act so recklessly that the military would decide that he is no longer stable.
 
2013-04-03 09:29:15 PM  
Is it too late to get in on the NK Nuke Pool?

Give me $100 on "Middle of the Farking Pacific Ocean", $100 on "China By Accident", $100 more on "Middle of the Farking Indian Ocean" and $50 on Siberia.
 
2013-04-03 09:29:16 PM  

Ow! That was my feelings!: zerkalo: [farm3.staticflickr.com image 384x288]

[media.screened.com image 719x408]


Fine... but I am not pissing on any sparkplugs this time.
 
2013-04-03 09:29:31 PM  

Ivo Shandor: Lost Thought 00: In the most technical sense of that term. It had a lower orbit than Sputnik

The North Korean satellite's current orbit is about 100 km above the International Space Station. Sputnik did have a higher apogee but its orbit was elliptical with a perigee of only 215 km (according to Wikipedia). Sputnik re-entered the atmosphere after 3 months and the Korean satellite is coming up on 4.


Sputnik was also something that's never been done before. The North Korean one is something you can look up how to do properly online.
 
2013-04-03 09:31:09 PM  

Girion47: Bontesla: Girion47: Bontesla: jjwars1: Bontesla: The more he moves toward war - the more I'm thinking that he had something up his sleeve.

Yeah, I have that same feeling. It seems most everyone here thinks this is some opportunity to laugh and joke about the situation by mocking N. Korea. I don't think they should underestimate Korea's capabilities though. If I were ruling an underdog nation I would purposefully mislead intelligence, build allies, make myself and the country look weak and incapable, build an arsenal on foreign and domestic soil, and launch an attack on my enemies infrastructure, kill the Internet, release airborn biological weapons, chemical, and nukes from outside my own country.

Agreed. Even if they don't have nuclear capabilities - they certainly have the potential to inflict damage. Lil Kim was educated in what - Switzerland? He's had exposure beyond his little bubble.

Either he's truly the world's worst poker player or we're underestimating him.

And certainly - he's got to know that they would not survive (as a country) in this conflict.

If this were a novel - I would be writing that Lil Kim is looking to either hide or expose something heinous. Perhaps Lil Kim has gotten word that his administration is being investigated for a genocide and a war is a really great way to get other people to destroy damning evidence?

Wouldn't be a disaster thread without you!

/Got Bonnaroo tix, Macklemore will be there.
//Headed down to ATL on Friday, is the Clermont as awesome as claimed?

Oh my goodness! Have an amazing time.
I'm sooo envious! Is this your first time in Atlanta??

No it's not my first time there, but it will be my first "vacation" there.   I've done the aquarium/CNN HQ and a few restaurants while traveling through, but that was with co-workers.


There's this AMAZING place called Porter House. They have like over 800 different beers and the best salt and vinegar popcorn. The menu is online. If you have time - you may want to check it out.

How long are ya going to be in town?
 
2013-04-03 09:31:25 PM  

Mantour: [www.globalpost.com image 850x547]

Kim Jong-Un has a posse


Clearly photoshopped. All those dudes look the same.
 
2013-04-03 09:31:55 PM  

Close2TheEdge: Here's a crazy idea.

Suppose Kim-Jong-Un wants to leave Best Korea and live in the Western world.  He's basically been forced into a life that perhaps he never really wanted.  How would he possibly be able to get out of that life?  How about force the military to launch a bloodless coup that allows him and his perky wife to leave Korea and live a life of ease in China.  All he'd have to do is act so recklessly that the military would decide that he is no longer stable.


one problem with this theory. The military is all as insane if not moreso than the KIm clan. They wouldn't push him out, they'd praise him for finally finishing the great war with the Lesser Korean oppressors. 

I don't doubt that Kim is looking for an out somewhere though
 
2013-04-03 09:31:57 PM  

doglover: Ivo Shandor: Lost Thought 00: In the most technical sense of that term. It had a lower orbit than Sputnik

The North Korean satellite's current orbit is about 100 km above the International Space Station. Sputnik did have a higher apogee but its orbit was elliptical with a perigee of only 215 km (according to Wikipedia). Sputnik re-entered the atmosphere after 3 months and the Korean satellite is coming up on 4.

Sputnik was also something that's never been done before. The North Korean one is something you can look up how to do properly online.


Not in North Korea.
 
2013-04-03 09:32:13 PM  

doglover: Sputnik was also something that's never been done before. The North Korean one is something you can look up how to do properly online.


yah cause a country that doesn't have electricity has the internet?
 
2013-04-03 09:32:53 PM  

Close2TheEdge: Here's a crazy idea.

Suppose Kim-Jong-Un wants to leave Best Korea and live in the Western world.  He's basically been forced into a life that perhaps he never really wanted.  How would he possibly be able to get out of that life?  How about force the military to launch a bloodless coup that allows him and his perky wife to leave Korea and live a life of ease in China.  All he'd have to do is act so recklessly that the military would decide that he is no longer stable.


Why would they exile him instead of kill him?
 
2013-04-03 09:33:16 PM  

GreenSun: Come on USA, let's just liberate North Korea! They might not have oil, but think of all the kimchi and rice plus barbeque pork that we can "develop"! Better to take their kimchi, rice, and pork now than get blasted by nuclear bombs!


Lets not forget the 3 to 6 trillion in mineral wealth they are sitting on and unable to bring to market.
 
2013-04-03 09:33:35 PM  

Professor Farksworth: Is it too late to get in on the NK Nuke Pool?

Give me $100 on "Middle of the Farking Pacific Ocean", $100 on "China By Accident", $100 more on "Middle of the Farking Indian Ocean" and $50 on Siberia.


I'm in. Put me down for $100 on "middle of Pacific", "China...whoopsie" and "Pyongyang cause if you're couping your own military, you might as well do so in style"
 
2013-04-03 09:33:44 PM  
I wonder if Un even knows this is going on.  That place is so partitioned something like that could happen.
 
2013-04-03 09:34:42 PM  

somedude210: Professor Farksworth: Is it too late to get in on the NK Nuke Pool?

Give me $100 on "Middle of the Farking Pacific Ocean", $100 on "China By Accident", $100 more on "Middle of the Farking Indian Ocean" and $50 on Siberia.

I'm in. Put me down for $100 on "middle of Pacific", "China...whoopsie" and "Pyongyang cause if you're coup-ing your own military, you might as well do so in style"


FTFM
 
2013-04-03 09:35:12 PM  
Not going to pretend I am an expert, but IMO I do not think we can discount the possibility of North Korea doing China's bidding, as the have been doing for the last 60 years.

Get Best Korea to draw Worst Korea and the United States into some form of military involvement in Best Korea and in the name of preventing a refugee crisis, China comes to the rescue of Best Korea potentially dealing the US a humiliating defeat/stalemate...  thus providing China an opportunity to move up the super power ladder....

Or Un is just being a brat pitching a fit until he gets his participation trophy ....
 
2013-04-03 09:35:49 PM  
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-04-03 09:35:55 PM  

To The Escape Zeppelin!: It's like the US, SK and Japan are ignoring the North's insane threats for once and Kim doesn't know what else to do except make a bigger and bigger threats desperately hoping that the US will back down.


I am guessing there is a lot of stuff going on behind the scenes, but I doubt "ignoring" is one of them. I doubt Obama has slept much in the last few days.
 
2013-04-03 09:36:00 PM  
Good morning to you, too, sir.

Yes, sir. Whatever you say, sir. The code numbers please, sir.

 Archimedes. Hotdog. Rhubarb.Niner. Zero. Niner. Gotcha, sir.

Bearing. Mark 2-2-0.

www.shadowlocked.com

]
 
2013-04-03 09:37:14 PM  

To The Escape Zeppelin!: It's like the US, SK and Japan are ignoring the North's insane threats for once and Kim doesn't know what else to do except make a bigger and bigger threats desperately hoping that the US will back down.


He may be hoping that China will step in with some food aid.  Kind of the Chinese coming and saying "Stop drawing the eye of Sauron over here you fat worthless fark" as they drop off a trainload of rice.

For America that is actually a potential big win.  Standard operating procedure right now is for the ROK, US and Japan to make with the aid whenever North Korea waves their dick around.  North Korea realizes it is short on food, does some military posturing and then agrees to calm down in exchange for food.  If we refuse to provide any aid, either the regime collapses when everyone starves or China has to pick up 100% of the tab.  Wait another 5 years until is sick of paying that tab on a yearly basis, propose an agreement to remove Fatty the Third and see if China's approves.
 
2013-04-03 09:37:22 PM  

Infernalist: I used to think that he was doing this strictly to shore up support among the ruling military class.  Now...Now I have no clue what that lil bastard is up to.

He can't be serious.  We all know he can't hit the U.S.  How can this possibly end, except in humiliation for NK?

It's like..He's playing poker and going all-in with a handful of junk cards and we've seen them and he's still insisting that he's got a Royal Straight Full House Flush.


Not that I believe he actually intends to strike but let us not dismiss NK out of hand.  They don't need an ICBM.  That's cold war thinking.

If they really want to strike the US with nukes, NK just has to have a few cargo ships with the NK equivilant of a SCUD missile tipped with a nuke.  Park the cargo ship just off-shore and fire the missiles into the US.

Or instead of missiles, either off-load a nuke into a van and drive the van into a city.  BOOM.

Or if the van-attack is too much planning, just explode the nuke on-board the ship while it is docked in a harbor.

Heck, if it's a cargo ship, it is big and not much is going to stop it if they decide to sail that near a heavily populated area of a city's shoreline. I very much doubt law enforcement would be able to respond, let alone stop, a 'run away' cargo ship headed towards the city's shoreline...and the military response time?  Laughably slow.

Likely-hood of NK doing this?  Small to non-existent.  Likely-hood NK is going to attack at all?   I'm fairly certain this is just saber-rattling but again, if they wanted to attack the US mainland and be assured of their nukes hitting designated targets, then is is a good way to do so without needing ICBMs.
 
2013-04-03 09:37:34 PM  
I wonder if he asked for approval for an American lunch, and his generals got the wrong idea.
 
2013-04-03 09:38:16 PM  

utah dude: doglover: Sputnik was also something that's never been done before. The North Korean one is something you can look up how to do properly online.

yah cause a country that doesn't have electricity has the internet?


Are you insane? North Korea has electricity, the internet, top shelf booze, cuban cigars, hot biatches, anything a bourgeois could desire. No one who's working on the missiles goes without. Their best scientists have what they want for sure.

On the other hand, the raw materials they have access to are limited and thus their rockets often suck because they're jury rigged.
 
2013-04-03 09:38:25 PM  

jpo2269: Get Best Korea to draw Worst Korea and the United States into some form of military involvement in Best Korea and in the name of preventing a refugee crisis, China comes to the rescue of Best Korea potentially dealing the US a humiliating defeat/stalemate...  thus providing China an opportunity to move up the super power ladder....


No. China and the US are too tied economically to have that happen. That's one of the great things about Nixon opening the door with China, we don't have to worry about direct war with them due to mutual economic destruction.

I do think that if something were to happen, then China, US/UN, SK and Japan would probably move in as a joint operation to quell Best Korea and either unify the Korean Peninsula or break it up a la Germany ca. 1945
 
2013-04-03 09:39:06 PM  

studebaker hoch: I kind of miss Gaddafi.  He had his own style.

All he needed was a white glove and he would have been the Michael Jackson of terrorists.


cdn.thedailybeast.com
 
2013-04-03 09:40:15 PM  

ha-ha-guy: Wait another 5 years until is sick of paying that tab on a yearly basis, propose an agreement to remove Fatty the Third and see if China's approves.


Problem with that idea, we have elections every 4 years. We can't guarantee there will be a similar minded president when that takes place.
 
2013-04-03 09:41:44 PM  

utah dude: doglover: Sputnik was also something that's never been done before. The North Korean one is something you can look up how to do properly online.

yah cause a country that doesn't have electricity has the internet?


LOLWUT? They may not have much electricity, but Pyongyang is lit up. They have electricity, they have the internet (their own YouTube channel and Twitter), they do have TVs and cable so they can broadcast their 24/7 indoctrination channel to the people.
 
2013-04-03 09:41:51 PM  

Fano: Bontesla: The more he moves toward war - the more I'm thinking that he had something up his sleeve.

His sleevies are where he keeps his armies


This made me laugh way harder than it should have. Nicely done.
 
2013-04-03 09:43:30 PM  

doglover: On the other hand, the raw materials they have access to are limited and thus their rockets often suck because they're jury rigged.


refined graphite steering vanes for the missile tails.
 
2013-04-03 09:43:40 PM  

Bontesla: Girion47: Bontesla: Girion47: Bontesla: jjwars1: Bontesla: The more he moves toward war - the more I'm thinking that he had something up his sleeve.

Yeah, I have that same feeling. It seems most everyone here thinks this is some opportunity to laugh and joke about the situation by mocking N. Korea. I don't think they should underestimate Korea's capabilities though. If I were ruling an underdog nation I would purposefully mislead intelligence, build allies, make myself and the country look weak and incapable, build an arsenal on foreign and domestic soil, and launch an attack on my enemies infrastructure, kill the Internet, release airborn biological weapons, chemical, and nukes from outside my own country.

Agreed. Even if they don't have nuclear capabilities - they certainly have the potential to inflict damage. Lil Kim was educated in what - Switzerland? He's had exposure beyond his little bubble.

Either he's truly the world's worst poker player or we're underestimating him.

And certainly - he's got to know that they would not survive (as a country) in this conflict.

If this were a novel - I would be writing that Lil Kim is looking to either hide or expose something heinous. Perhaps Lil Kim has gotten word that his administration is being investigated for a genocide and a war is a really great way to get other people to destroy damning evidence?

Wouldn't be a disaster thread without you!

/Got Bonnaroo tix, Macklemore will be there.
//Headed down to ATL on Friday, is the Clermont as awesome as claimed?

Oh my goodness! Have an amazing time.
I'm sooo envious! Is this your first time in Atlanta??

No it's not my first time there, but it will be my first "vacation" there.   I've done the aquarium/CNN HQ and a few restaurants while traveling through, but that was with co-workers.

There's this AMAZING place called Porter House. They have like over 800 different beers and the best salt and vinegar popcorn. The menu is online. If you have time - you may want to ch ...


We're there for the tournament, so from Friday til Tuesday.   Shall we get tacos?  j/k
 
2013-04-03 09:44:01 PM  

GAT_00: CaptSacto: That's what makes me wonder if Un is really calling the shots.

I saw some article speculating this is all trying to stop a coup from happening, but I don't understand how this would stop a coup either.


All this talk is pumping up patriotism in North Korea with Un as the focus of national pride.  (Think the latitude that G. W. Bush had following 9-11 tuned to 11.)  He's made himself too popular to overthrow without civil war.
 
2013-04-03 09:44:15 PM  

somedude210: ha-ha-guy: Wait another 5 years until is sick of paying that tab on a yearly basis, propose an agreement to remove Fatty the Third and see if China's approves.

Problem with that idea, we have elections every 4 years. We can't guarantee there will be a similar minded president when that takes place.


Ideally you hope any President we elect is mature enough to continue with the policy, much as Presidents in the past have worked to maintain a somewhat uniform policy with China.  Obama hasn't exactly been radical with his SecDefs.  He kept Gates for a fair amount of time, Panetta was fairly non partisan in his role, and Hagel of course was a ranking Republican at one point.  In theory at least this means that such a policy should have bipartisan support.
 
2013-04-03 09:44:18 PM  

Gyrfalcon: GAT_00: CaptSacto: That's what makes me wonder if Un is really calling the shots.

I saw some article speculating this is all trying to stop a coup from happening, but I don't understand how this would stop a coup either.

Right now, Kim is not personally responsible for any of the atrocities and human rights violations going on in Best Korea (in that he didn't order them, he's just perpetuating them). His generals and advisors, however, are. If Kim wants to make things better and normalize relations with the West, everyone else gets to stand in front of the Hague, and they know it--so if Kim HAS been making such noises, the generals have likewise been making noises to the effect of "Nice lifestyle you got here, 'Dear Leader', shame if anything happened to it."

OTOH, if Kim starts a war he knows he has to lose, he can surrender to the US on his own terms, which would include throwing his loyal generals under an Abrams tank (literally or figuratively, doesn't much matter) while he keeps his pudgy head intact. It's a win-win for him at this point.



one could only hope...
 
2013-04-03 09:44:49 PM  
Have you seen the GOP lately?
 
2013-04-03 09:44:49 PM  
TOM CLANCY TIME GUYS:

North Korea detonates a nuke inside THEIR OWN BORDERS to create a pretense for going to war. NK blames South Korea, China backs them up and they use the confusion to delay a world/UN response. NK troops surge over the border with secret Chinese sleeper squads inside SK and take Seoul overnight.
 
2013-04-03 09:45:17 PM  

Hollie Maea: To The Escape Zeppelin!: It's like the US, SK and Japan are ignoring the North's insane threats for once and Kim doesn't know what else to do except make a bigger and bigger threats desperately hoping that the US will back down.

I am guessing there is a lot of stuff going on behind the scenes, but I doubt "ignoring" is one of them. I doubt Obama has slept much in the last few days.


Well not ignoring but certainly not catering to their paranoia and desire to be acknowledged as a world power. For example, in years past the US and SK have cancelled military exercises because NK threw a hissy fit. Now it looks like we're going to call their bluff about going to war. They've screamed bloody murder for decades and I think that the world at large has finally had enough and said "shut up".
 
2013-04-03 09:45:19 PM  
After reading of the butt-hurt ready to be unleashed on NK, I'm sure the little retard is puckering.
 
2013-04-03 09:46:09 PM  

Bschott007: Infernalist: I used to think that he was doing this strictly to shore up support among the ruling military class.  Now...Now I have no clue what that lil bastard is up to.

He can't be serious.  We all know he can't hit the U.S.  How can this possibly end, except in humiliation for NK?

It's like..He's playing poker and going all-in with a handful of junk cards and we've seen them and he's still insisting that he's got a Royal Straight Full House Flush.

Not that I believe he actually intends to strike but let us not dismiss NK out of hand.  They don't need an ICBM.  That's cold war thinking.

If they really want to strike the US with nukes, NK just has to have a few cargo ships with the NK equivilant of a SCUD missile tipped with a nuke.  Park the cargo ship just off-shore and fire the missiles into the US.

Or instead of missiles, either off-load a nuke into a van and drive the van into a city.  BOOM.

Or if the van-attack is too much planning, just explode the nuke on-board the ship while it is docked in a harbor.

Heck, if it's a cargo ship, it is big and not much is going to stop it if they decide to sail that near a heavily populated area of a city's shoreline. I very much doubt law enforcement would be able to respond, let alone stop, a 'run away' cargo ship headed towards the city's shoreline...and the military response time?  Laughably slow.

Likely-hood of NK doing this?  Small to non-existent.  Likely-hood NK is going to attack at all?   I'm fairly certain this is just saber-rattling but again, if they wanted to attack the US mainland and be assured of their nukes hitting designated targets, then is is a good way to do so without needing ICBMs.


1) How much outgoing NK cargo do you suppose there is?

2) How much of it do you think is going anywhere near America?

3) What's the likelihood of ANY ship leaving NK not getting covertly searched by at least one interested national power?

4) What's the likelihood of NK shipping their only 'real' defense against total destruction out of the country on a suicide mission?

5) What's the likelihood of this attempt remaining secret?

The 'cargo ship' and 'sub' delivery systems ideas are always nice to envision.  It's very Hollywood-esque.  But, it's not going to happen like that.

Ever.
 
2013-04-03 09:46:42 PM  

hawcian: Close2TheEdge: Here's a crazy idea.

Suppose Kim-Jong-Un wants to leave Best Korea and live in the Western world.  He's basically been forced into a life that perhaps he never really wanted.  How would he possibly be able to get out of that life?  How about force the military to launch a bloodless coup that allows him and his perky wife to leave Korea and live a life of ease in China.  All he'd have to do is act so recklessly that the military would decide that he is no longer stable.

Why would they exile him instead of kill him?


The Kim cult of personality probably wouldn't allow that to happen.  That's just the sort of thing that might actually cause regular people to rise up in revolt.  Not saying my theory isn't without holes, but it's about as good as any right now.
 
2013-04-03 09:46:49 PM  

ha-ha-guy: Ideally you hope any President we elect is mature enough to continue with the policy, much as Presidents in the past have worked to maintain a somewhat uniform policy with China.  Obama hasn't exactly been radical with his SecDefs.  He kept Gates for a fair amount of time, Panetta was fairly non partisan in his role, and Hagel of course was a ranking Republican at one point.  In theory at least this means that such a policy should have bipartisan support.


Nah, we'll elect either a diehard republican who'll do everything to overturn the socialism infringed on us by Obamao or we get a Democrat who'll maybe continue the ideas but will be too liberal for their own good.

Or we get Biden
 
2013-04-03 09:47:16 PM  
give me a big mac and fries to go. one big mac and fries to go

I work right by the old SAC hq. airbase quiet tonight.
 
2013-04-03 09:47:23 PM  

zerkalo: [farm3.staticflickr.com image 384x288]


upload.wikimedia.org

That's where we're headed.*

*According to Twitter
 
2013-04-03 09:47:37 PM  

Mantour: [www.globalpost.com image 850x547]

Kim Jong-Un has a posse


That doesn't look too impressive, please be fair and show the uncropped version...

i48.tinypic.com
 
2013-04-03 09:47:37 PM  
He's learning all of his invasion tactics from Red Dawn. Not the remake mind you, the '80s just reached North Korea this year.
 
2013-04-03 09:47:37 PM  

iheartscotch: Interrupted Infinitum: DEAR LEADER, I CAN WALK!!!

I can no longer sit back and allow communist infiltration, communist indoctrination, communist subversion, and the international communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.


Dear Leader, we must not allow a mineshaft gap!
 
2013-04-03 09:48:06 PM  

somedude210: Nah, we'll elect either a diehard republican who'll do everything to overturn the socialism infringed on us by Obamao or we get a Democrat who'll maybe continue the ideas but will be too liberal for their own good.

Or we get Biden


We could get Jeb, the Bushes are good at starting wars at least.  Really as long as Obama gets China on our side, it is fine if some Republican actually pulls the trigger.
 
2013-04-03 09:48:49 PM  

MindStalker: dameron: It'd be REALLY hard to find a well hidden atomic bomb. Even given 1940's technology, the radioactive plutonium core of an implosion type bomb would weight less than 20 pounds.

They have radiation detectors that would pick it up, that said, it might be too late by the time we detect them.


You know they actually check less than 1% of crates that comes off the ships, right?
 
2013-04-03 09:49:06 PM  

Obscure Login: Mantour: [www.globalpost.com image 850x547]

Kim Jong-Un has a posse

That doesn't look too impressive, please be fair and show the uncropped version...

[i48.tinypic.com image 639x532]


It's the NK version of Where's Waldo!
 
2013-04-03 09:49:12 PM  
You guys my baby daddy is currently stationed in SK near the DMZ.


/vomits
 
2013-04-03 09:49:34 PM  

doglover: Sputnik was also something that's never been done before. The North Korean one is something you can look up how to do properly online.


Sure, but the point is they actually _did_ it. Maybe they can't do it reliably or accurately yet, or with a large enough payload to matter, but the range question is now answered. If you can reach polar orbit, you can reach any part of the planet.
 
2013-04-03 09:49:36 PM  

Theory Of Null: [i.imgur.com image 850x498]


As far as shielding a nuke with lead, lead would weigh 360 lbs for a 12x12x6 inch piece.  I don't think that'll work out too well.
 
2013-04-03 09:49:41 PM  

Infernalist: We'd have long since seen signs of it.  Plus, those missiles don't exactly run on diesel fuel.  It'd be hard enough to build on their own, and it'd be impossible for them to build them in secret without us knowing.


Maybe not diesel fuel, but you can launch a rocket with kerosene.
 
2013-04-03 09:49:43 PM  
I'll miss you, Austin, TX.
 
2013-04-03 09:50:43 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: This seemed relevant at the time.


I had to show my Fark age to my Girlfriend (that posted in this thread). She told me of this linked video

I responded that I refuse to click a TMLO link unless I can see the it doesn't link to that video and I've known this for years
 
2013-04-03 09:51:06 PM  

Fubini: TOM CLANCY TIME GUYS:

North Korea detonates a nuke inside THEIR OWN BORDERS to create a pretense for going to war. NK blames South Korea, China backs them up and they use the confusion to delay a world/UN response. NK troops surge over the border with secret Chinese sleeper squads inside SK and take Seoul overnight.


Isn't that basically the plot of one of the splinter cell games?
 
2013-04-03 09:51:15 PM  
NK may be a bunch of screw balls, but they sure know how to get us to spin our wheels.
 
2013-04-03 09:51:23 PM  
i2.asntown.net

This will be sadder than when Carl Fredricksen's wife dies.
 
2013-04-03 09:51:52 PM  

Wolfling: This is China's place...they need to intervene and just take over in NK.  If they really want to be a world power, this is the price they have to pay...you keep order in your own backyard...

Quite frankly, I think China is the one turning the key in Un's back.  Their leaders must be ROFLing about all this.  Look at it from their perspective... Duhmerica will step in and eliminate the NK leadership structure, destabilise the country for 10 years - who cares?  In the meantime, they'll get to closely study the latest in American Nuke defense and stealth technology, right on their own doorstep.  In terms of testing their equipment, it couldn't get any better... and I think you can safely trust that plenty of current Chinese equipment will be tested from within NK's borders.


BUT what if we don't take the nukular bait and just bomb them with conventional weapons?  Really that's all it'd take if 99% of the country has no electricity.
 
2013-04-03 09:52:20 PM  

Girion47: Bontesla: Girion47: Bontesla: Girion47: Bontesla: jjwars1: Bontesla: The more he moves toward war - the more I'm thinking that he had something up his sleeve.

Yeah, I have that same feeling. It seems most everyone here thinks this is some opportunity to laugh and joke about the situation by mocking N. Korea. I don't think they should underestimate Korea's capabilities though. If I were ruling an underdog nation I would purposefully mislead intelligence, build allies, make myself and the country look weak and incapable, build an arsenal on foreign and domestic soil, and launch an attack on my enemies infrastructure, kill the Internet, release airborn biological weapons, chemical, and nukes from outside my own country.

Agreed. Even if they don't have nuclear capabilities - they certainly have the potential to inflict damage. Lil Kim was educated in what - Switzerland? He's had exposure beyond his little bubble.

Either he's truly the world's worst poker player or we're underestimating him.

And certainly - he's got to know that they would not survive (as a country) in this conflict.

If this were a novel - I would be writing that Lil Kim is looking to either hide or expose something heinous. Perhaps Lil Kim has gotten word that his administration is being investigated for a genocide and a war is a really great way to get other people to destroy damning evidence?

Wouldn't be a disaster thread without you!

/Got Bonnaroo tix, Macklemore will be there.
//Headed down to ATL on Friday, is the Clermont as awesome as claimed?

Oh my goodness! Have an amazing time.
I'm sooo envious! Is this your first time in Atlanta??

No it's not my first time there, but it will be my first "vacation" there.   I've done the aquarium/CNN HQ and a few restaurants while traveling through, but that was with co-workers.

There's this AMAZING place called Porter House. They have like over 800 different beers and the best salt and vinegar popcorn. The menu is online. If you have time - you may want to ch ...

We're there for the tournament, so from Friday til Tuesday.   Shall we get tacos?  j/k


Lol I wish I had known sooner. There are some really great places to go! Little Five Points has the best pizza and weird stores (the Junkman's Daughter).

I'm working every day until April 14th. To end this period of hell - I'll be starting work that Sunday at 5am.

We should exchange details so the next time you're in town - you can see the coolness that is Atlanta.
 
2013-04-03 09:53:46 PM  

Bschott007: Infernalist: I used to think that he was doing this strictly to shore up support among the ruling military class.  Now...Now I have no clue what that lil bastard is up to.

He can't be serious.  We all know he can't hit the U.S.  How can this possibly end, except in humiliation for NK?

It's like..He's playing poker and going all-in with a handful of junk cards and we've seen them and he's still insisting that he's got a Royal Straight Full House Flush.

Not that I believe he actually intends to strike but let us not dismiss NK out of hand.  They don't need an ICBM.  That's cold war thinking.

If they really want to strike the US with nukes, NK just has to have a few cargo ships with the NK equivilant of a SCUD missile tipped with a nuke.  Park the cargo ship just off-shore and fire the missiles into the US.

Or instead of missiles, either off-load a nuke into a van and drive the van into a city.  BOOM.

Or if the van-attack is too much planning, just explode the nuke on-board the ship while it is docked in a harbor.

Heck, if it's a cargo ship, it is big and not much is going to stop it if they decide to sail that near a heavily populated area of a city's shoreline. I very much doubt law enforcement would be able to respond, let alone stop, a 'run away' cargo ship headed towards the city's shoreline...and the military response time?  Laughably slow.

Likely-hood of NK doing this?  Small to non-existent.  Likely-hood NK is going to attack at all?   I'm fairly certain this is just saber-rattling but again, if they wanted to attack the US mainland and be assured of their nukes hitting designated targets, then is is a good way to do so without needing ICBMs.


If your country has no trade with the US, how do you send a cargo ship to the coast without drawing the attention of the US Navy?
 
2013-04-03 09:54:20 PM  

TURN YOUR KEY, SIR!!!

 
2013-04-03 09:54:22 PM  

Triumph: zerkalo: [farm3.staticflickr.com image 384x288]

[upload.wikimedia.org image 150x355]

That's where we're headed.*

*According to Twitter


And?

When you're not in a fight and you've got a shield, you still put it in place if it looks like you may get hit.
 
2013-04-03 09:54:36 PM  
img135.imageshack.us
ahmadinejad:  Yesterday, they said they were restarting their reactor.
khamenei:  Uh-hu,,
ahmadinejad:  But today, they said they're launching their missile.  So, what do they think?  Everybody's just gonna wait till they're ready?
khamenei:  dunno, they're makin' us look normal!
ahmadinejad: HA! - - hey
khamenei: oh, relax
 
2013-04-03 09:54:44 PM  

Publikwerks: oldfarthenry: Dear 'merikuh,
             we understand you're having yet another dick-waving contest with North Best Korea. Please contain any nuclear fallout within your own borders.

Kisses,
Canuckada & Meh-Kee-Koh

Dear Canada and Mexico;
I am altering the deal. Pray I don't alter it any further.
Kisses,
America


Dear Canada,

We're moving our country to Europe. Somehow, we're still working on the details, just in case. We hope that you can help us in this endeavor.

Hugs,
Mexico
 
2013-04-03 09:54:54 PM  

EdNortonsTwin: NK may be a bunch of screw balls, but they sure know how to get us to spin our wheels.


Slow news day.   Best Korea will be forgotten when Lindsay Lohan shows her hoo-ha again.
 
2013-04-03 09:55:08 PM  

Girion47: Bontesla: Girion47: Bontesla: Girion47: Bontesla: jjwars1: Bontesla: The more he moves toward war - the more I'm thinking that he had something up his sleeve.

Yeah, I have that same feeling. It seems most everyone here thinks this is some opportunity to laugh and joke about the situation by mocking N. Korea. I don't think they should underestimate Korea's capabilities though. If I were ruling an underdog nation I would purposefully mislead intelligence, build allies, make myself and the country look weak and incapable, build an arsenal on foreign and domestic soil, and launch an attack on my enemies infrastructure, kill the Internet, release airborn biological weapons, chemical, and nukes from outside my own country.

Agreed. Even if they don't have nuclear capabilities - they certainly have the potential to inflict damage. Lil Kim was educated in what - Switzerland? He's had exposure beyond his little bubble.

Either he's truly the world's worst poker player or we're underestimating him.

And certainly - he's got to know that they would not survive (as a country) in this conflict.

If this were a novel - I would be writing that Lil Kim is looking to either hide or expose something heinous. Perhaps Lil Kim has gotten word that his administration is being investigated for a genocide and a war is a really great way to get other people to destroy damning evidence?

Wouldn't be a disaster thread without you!

/Got Bonnaroo tix, Macklemore will be there.
//Headed down to ATL on Friday, is the Clermont as awesome as claimed?

Oh my goodness! Have an amazing time.
I'm sooo envious! Is this your first time in Atlanta??

No it's not my first time there, but it will be my first "vacation" there.   I've done the aquarium/CNN HQ and a few restaurants while traveling through, but that was with co-workers.

There's this AMAZING place called Porter House. They have like over 800 different beers and the best salt and vinegar popcorn. The menu is online. If you have time - you may want to ch ...

We're there for the tournament, so from Friday til Tuesday.   Shall we get tacos?  j/k


Hell - the next time you're near Atlanta - I could show you where the Walking Dead is filmed. I live a few minutes down the road from where the majority of filming takes place.
 
2013-04-03 09:55:08 PM  
I guess I've missed a bunch. Why does Nork want to piss the US off?
The goal is what for them?
 
2013-04-03 09:55:10 PM  

Infernalist: Bschott007: Infernalist: I used to think that he was doing this strictly to shore up support among the ruling military class.  Now...Now I have no clue what that lil bastard is up to.

He can't be serious.  We all know he can't hit the U.S.  How can this possibly end, except in humiliation for NK?

It's like..He's playing poker and going all-in with a handful of junk cards and we've seen them and he's still insisting that he's got a Royal Straight Full House Flush.

Not that I believe he actually intends to strike but let us not dismiss NK out of hand.  They don't need an ICBM.  That's cold war thinking.

If they really want to strike the US with nukes, NK just has to have a few cargo ships with the NK equivilant of a SCUD missile tipped with a nuke.  Park the cargo ship just off-shore and fire the missiles into the US.

Or instead of missiles, either off-load a nuke into a van and drive the van into a city.  BOOM.

Or if the van-attack is too much planning, just explode the nuke on-board the ship while it is docked in a harbor.

Heck, if it's a cargo ship, it is big and not much is going to stop it if they decide to sail that near a heavily populated area of a city's shoreline. I very much doubt law enforcement would be able to respond, let alone stop, a 'run away' cargo ship headed towards the city's shoreline...and the military response time?  Laughably slow.

Likely-hood of NK doing this?  Small to non-existent.  Likely-hood NK is going to attack at all?   I'm fairly certain this is just saber-rattling but again, if they wanted to attack the US mainland and be assured of their nukes hitting designated targets, then is is a good way to do so without needing ICBMs.

1) How much outgoing NK cargo do you suppose there is?

2) How much of it do you think is going anywhere near America?

3) What's the likelihood of ANY ship leaving NK not getting covertly searched by at least one interested national power?

4) What's the likelihood of NK shipping their only 'real' defense against total destruction out of the country on a suicide mission?

5) What's the likelihood of this attempt remaining secret?

The 'cargo ship' and 'sub' delivery systems ideas are always nice to envision.  It's very Hollywood-esque.  But, it's not going to happen like that.

Ever.


Well I think it's safe to say that Un knows a thing or two about sub delivery systems.

/Jimmy Johns should be delivering my wmd soon.
 
2013-04-03 09:55:45 PM  

KarmicDisaster: I do have to wonder where they are going with all this bellicose rhetoric. They obviously can't follow up on any of this, and there are no mass troop movements reported, so nothing major is going to happen. It all appears to be for internal consumption, but to what end? I think it is to distract from their upcoming famine, but how long can they keep it up? Could be a run up to a small border skirmish after which they can declare victory, but that could get out of control easily for several reasons.  If this is somehow positioning for the usual "return to the table, get food, keep building bombs, that isn't going to work this time, they have crossed the line with their threat, well, actually just saying that they are going to use nuclear weapons.


That's what I keep wondering too. There is no upside for them. How about extortion? They say, We have cargo container sized nukes in three major US cities. Give us 12 trillion dollars.
 
2013-04-03 09:55:53 PM  
party at ground zero!


old fishbone is best fishbone
 
2013-04-03 09:55:55 PM  

Mad_Radhu: If your country has no trade with the US, how do you send a cargo ship to the coast without drawing the attention of the US Navy?


Obviously they'll just teleport to Canada and sail out of Toronto.
 
2013-04-03 09:56:01 PM  

bluorangefyre: Wolfling: This is China's place...they need to intervene and just take over in NK.  If they really want to be a world power, this is the price they have to pay...you keep order in your own backyard...

Quite frankly, I think China is the one turning the key in Un's back.  Their leaders must be ROFLing about all this.  Look at it from their perspective... Duhmerica will step in and eliminate the NK leadership structure, destabilise the country for 10 years - who cares?  In the meantime, they'll get to closely study the latest in American Nuke defense and stealth technology, right on their own doorstep.  In terms of testing their equipment, it couldn't get any better... and I think you can safely trust that plenty of current Chinese equipment will be tested from within NK's borders.

BUT what if we don't take the nukular bait and just bomb them with conventional weapons?  Really that's all it'd take if 99% of the country has no electricity.


Take that one step further.  China has NO desire to see American troops pour over into NK.  If NK kicks over a war, that's exactly what happens...if the Chinese don't do it first.

And they honestly have no desire to have to go in and annex NK into China, but they'd rather do that than see a united Korea under American patronage.  NK and its starving masses would be a huge drain on the Chinese economy.

Granted, if they threw a ton of money at NK after it was annexed, they could eventually reap the benefits of their RRE wealth, but that's at least 10 years of heavy infrastructure rebuilding down the road.

If you look at all the facts, you'll see that China is just as mad about this as we are, but for their own reasons.  NK is supposed to be the loudly barking dog that never bites.  And it's trying to slip its leash and bite someone with a big gun.
 
2013-04-03 09:56:21 PM  
DEAR LEADER WE HAVE LAUNCHED THE NUKE! IT IS ON ITS WAY TO KILL THE AMERICANS AS WE SPEAK!!

You did WHAT?!

W...We...We just did what you wanted us to do.

YOU IDIOT!! I JUST WANTED TO SCARE THEM!! OH MAN THIS IS BAD, THIS IS REALLY BAD MAN!!
 
2013-04-03 09:56:50 PM  

roughridersfan: markie_farkie: Rodman

Maybe RODMAN'S THE BOMB!!!!

Our only solution is to blow up Rodman or drop him into the Mariana Trench. Just to be safe.


Rodman would more likely be a biological weapon.

/I feel bad for the citizens of Best Korea.
 
2013-04-03 09:57:00 PM  

Skeptos: [images.kpopstarz.com image 300x397]


I hate saying this, but if we were to give Best Korea one free shot... PSY!

/that song is annoying as HELL!!!
 
2013-04-03 09:57:29 PM  

ha-ha-guy: We could get Jeb, the Bushes are good at starting wars at least.  Really as long as Obama gets China on our side, it is fine if some Republican actually pulls the trigger.


no, getting China on our side is a terrible pretense for war. We need them to quell it and maybe overthrow the Kim Clan and rebuild NK with the help of us, SK and Japan. NK will be the true test of global nations to actually rebuild a country into a well-adjusted teenage country.

We can get rid of the leadership in NK without having to resort to war. It's just going to take a while and possibly some concessions to China
 
2013-04-03 09:57:42 PM  
By the way, today is a holiday in China (ancestor remembrance day).  Fatty the Third is making a lot of Chinese officials come in to work when they're supposed to at the graves of their ancestors.  That's not going to win him any friends.
 
2013-04-03 09:58:25 PM  

Barbecue Bob: I guess I've missed a bunch. Why does Nork want to piss the US off?
The goal is what for them?


This happens every 10 years or so when they run out of food.
 
2013-04-03 09:58:33 PM  

Infernalist: He can't be serious.  We all know he can't hit the U.S.  How can this possibly end, except in humiliation for NK?


His people won't know about any NK humiliation - they'll be told the US backed down in shame.
 
2013-04-03 09:58:34 PM  

Aar1012: Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: This seemed relevant at the time.

I had to show my Fark age to my Girlfriend (that posted in this thread). She told me of this linked video

I responded that I refuse to click a TMLO link unless I can see the it doesn't link to that video and I've known this for years


Meh. I found the video hilariously relevant to the situation.
 
2013-04-03 09:58:45 PM  
i.imgur.com
North Korea cat wonders how long he can keep this charade up for
 
2013-04-03 09:59:05 PM  

Peki: Dude, my brother is on one of those. STFU unless it's your butt on that ship.

/not interested in having him come home in a body bag


A a current DoD civilian, and former (retired) active duty, and with several friends in the region...I do kind of have a clue as to what that actually means.

Little Un could probably, maybe make a mess of the northern stretch of South Korea with their artillery. Which would be very, very bad. If and only if they get the first shot.
Beyond that...not so much.

/not interested in anyone coming home in a bag.
//us, the ROKs, or the NORKS
 
2013-04-03 09:59:31 PM  

Bontesla: Girion47: Bontesla: Girion47: Bontesla: Girion47: Bontesla: jjwars1: Bontesla: The more he moves toward war - the more I'm thinking that he had something up his sleeve.

Yeah, I have that same feeling. It seems most everyone here thinks this is some opportunity to laugh and joke about the situation by mocking N. Korea. I don't think they should underestimate Korea's capabilities though. If I were ruling an underdog nation I would purposefully mislead intelligence, build allies, make myself and the country look weak and incapable, build an arsenal on foreign and domestic soil, and launch an attack on my enemies infrastructure, kill the Internet, release airborn biological weapons, chemical, and nukes from outside my own country.

Agreed. Even if they don't have nuclear capabilities - they certainly have the potential to inflict damage. Lil Kim was educated in what - Switzerland? He's had exposure beyond his little bubble.

Either he's truly the world's worst poker player or we're underestimating him.

And certainly - he's got to know that they would not survive (as a country) in this conflict.

If this were a novel - I would be writing that Lil Kim is looking to either hide or expose something heinous. Perhaps Lil Kim has gotten word that his administration is being investigated for a genocide and a war is a really great way to get other people to destroy damning evidence?

Wouldn't be a disaster thread without you!

/Got Bonnaroo tix, Macklemore will be there.
//Headed down to ATL on Friday, is the Clermont as awesome as claimed?

Oh my goodness! Have an amazing time.
I'm sooo envious! Is this your first time in Atlanta??

No it's not my first time there, but it will be my first "vacation" there.   I've done the aquarium/CNN HQ and a few restaurants while traveling through, but that was with co-workers.

There's this AMAZING place called Porter House. They have like over 800 different beers and the best salt and vinegar popcorn. The menu is online. If you have time ...


That'd be cool.    EIP.
 
2013-04-03 09:59:40 PM  

somedude210: ha-ha-guy: We could get Jeb, the Bushes are good at starting wars at least.  Really as long as Obama gets China on our side, it is fine if some Republican actually pulls the trigger.

no, getting China on our side is a terrible pretense for war. We need them to quell it and maybe overthrow the Kim Clan and rebuild NK with the help of us, SK and Japan. NK will be the true test of global nations to actually rebuild a country into a well-adjusted teenage country.

We can get rid of the leadership in NK without having to resort to war. It's just going to take a while and possibly some concessions to China


All out war is not ideal, but really as history has shown to get of an entrenched military dictatorship you at least need to strong encourage them to exit stage left.  You can buy off some of them, but you at least need the threat of a bombing campaign to really have them move.  Depending on how crazy they really are, one or two might need to get a visit from Mr. JDAM to convince the others to leave.
 
2013-04-03 10:00:01 PM  
I feel actual solace knowing that if Korea starts nuking the US, I'll at least have a really interesting time reading the response on Fark.
 
2013-04-03 10:01:03 PM  

oldfarthenry: This is like recess with the special-needs kid in his wheelchair ramming the sports jock in the ankles.
If the jock punches Timmy in the face he's deemed a bully. If he does nothing Timmy will pinch his nuts with his reaching stick.

There's no easy way out of this.


And the kid is sex-nuts and retard strong, to boot.
 
2013-04-03 10:01:46 PM  

Meisaims: I feel actual solace knowing that if Korea starts nuking the US, I'll at least have a really interesting time reading the response on Fark.


I actually don't want to read those comments. It will be depressing.
 
2013-04-03 10:01:56 PM  
Alas, Babylon.
 
2013-04-03 10:02:41 PM  

ha-ha-guy: All out war is not ideal, but really as history has shown to get of an entrenched military dictatorship you at least need to strong encourage them to exit stage left.  You can buy off some of them, but you at least need the threat of a bombing campaign to really have them move.  Depending on how crazy they really are, one or two might need to get a visit from Mr. JDAM to convince the others to leave.


I honestly think that if Kim was allowed to rule without the Generals around, he could actually reform the country and open relations with the outside world. But for that to happen, we need to oust the Generals

Think Emperor Hirohito post-war japan. Something like that. Keep Kim as ruler but make NK neutered militarily and open trade relations with it. Do so as a joint US/China effort and we could quell most tensions in East Asia for 15-20 years.
 
2013-04-03 10:03:27 PM  

CygnusDarius: Meisaims: I feel actual solace knowing that if Korea starts nuking the US, I'll at least have a really interesting time reading the response on Fark.

I actually don't want to read those comments. It will be depressing.


"Oh shiat, I've been nuked, but inextricably my internet is still working despite the EMP."
 
2013-04-03 10:03:47 PM  

Infernalist: bluorangefyre: Wolfling: This is China's place...they need to intervene and just take over in NK.  If they really want to be a world power, this is the price they have to pay...you keep order in your own backyard...

Quite frankly, I think China is the one turning the key in Un's back.  Their leaders must be ROFLing about all this.  Look at it from their perspective... Duhmerica will step in and eliminate the NK leadership structure, destabilise the country for 10 years - who cares?  In the meantime, they'll get to closely study the latest in American Nuke defense and stealth technology, right on their own doorstep.  In terms of testing their equipment, it couldn't get any better... and I think you can safely trust that plenty of current Chinese equipment will be tested from within NK's borders.

BUT what if we don't take the nukular bait and just bomb them with conventional weapons?  Really that's all it'd take if 99% of the country has no electricity.

Take that one step further.  China has NO desire to see American troops pour over into NK.  If NK kicks over a war, that's exactly what happens...if the Chinese don't do it first.

And they honestly have no desire to have to go in and annex NK into China, but they'd rather do that than see a united Korea under American patronage.  NK and its starving masses would be a huge drain on the Chinese economy.

Granted, if they threw a ton of money at NK after it was annexed, they could eventually reap the benefits of their RRE wealth, but that's at least 10 years of heavy infrastructure rebuilding down the road.

If you look at all the facts, you'll see that China is just as mad about this as we are, but for their own reasons.  NK is supposed to be the loudly barking dog that never bites.  And it's trying to slip its leash and bite someone with a big gun.


Plus I'm sure they don't want fallout falling onto their country.
 
2013-04-03 10:03:49 PM  
I swear, I always end up with one of those North Korean Generals sitting in front of me at the movies.
 
2013-04-03 10:04:07 PM  

somedude210: ha-ha-guy: All out war is not ideal, but really as history has shown to get of an entrenched military dictatorship you at least need to strong encourage them to exit stage left.  You can buy off some of them, but you at least need the threat of a bombing campaign to really have them move.  Depending on how crazy they really are, one or two might need to get a visit from Mr. JDAM to convince the others to leave.

I honestly think that if Kim was allowed to rule without the Generals around, he could actually reform the country and open relations with the outside world. But for that to happen, we need to oust the Generals

Think Emperor Hirohito post-war japan. Something like that. Keep Kim as ruler but make NK neutered militarily and open trade relations with it. Do so as a joint US/China effort and we could quell most tensions in East Asia for 15-20 years.


China has no desire to see NK friendly with the U.S.  NK is their buffer zone and a proxy to rile the Americans when they see fit.

Make no mistake about it, the Chinese are pissed off at Un right now, but only because he's not following orders.
 
2013-04-03 10:04:23 PM  

CygnusDarius: Meisaims: I feel actual solace knowing that if Korea starts nuking the US, I'll at least have a really interesting time reading the response on Fark.

I actually don't want to read those comments. It will be depressing.


Holy shiat. He did it. The little fat fark actually did it. And he succeeded?!

Grab some popcorn, the US response is going to be entertaining!
 
2013-04-03 10:05:04 PM  

Girion47: Bontesla: Girion47: Bontesla: Girion47: Bontesla: Girion47: Bontesla: jjwars1: Bontesla: The more he moves toward war - the more I'm thinking that he had something up his sleeve.

Yeah, I have that same feeling. It seems most everyone here thinks this is some opportunity to laugh and joke about the situation by mocking N. Korea. I don't think they should underestimate Korea's capabilities though. If I were ruling an underdog nation I would purposefully mislead intelligence, build allies, make myself and the country look weak and incapable, build an arsenal on foreign and domestic soil, and launch an attack on my enemies infrastructure, kill the Internet, release airborn biological weapons, chemical, and nukes from outside my own country.

Agreed. Even if they don't have nuclear capabilities - they certainly have the potential to inflict damage. Lil Kim was educated in what - Switzerland? He's had exposure beyond his little bubble.

Either he's truly the world's worst poker player or we're underestimating him.

And certainly - he's got to know that they would not survive (as a country) in this conflict.

If this were a novel - I would be writing that Lil Kim is looking to either hide or expose something heinous. Perhaps Lil Kim has gotten word that his administration is being investigated for a genocide and a war is a really great way to get other people to destroy damning evidence?

Wouldn't be a disaster thread without you!

/Got Bonnaroo tix, Macklemore will be there.
//Headed down to ATL on Friday, is the Clermont as awesome as claimed?

Oh my goodness! Have an amazing time.
I'm sooo envious! Is this your first time in Atlanta??

No it's not my first time there, but it will be my first "vacation" there.   I've done the aquarium/CNN HQ and a few restaurants while traveling through, but that was with co-workers.

There's this AMAZING place called Porter House. They have like over 800 different beers and the best salt and vinegar popcorn. The menu is online. If you have time ...

That'd be cool.    EIP.


Lol yeah. My husband would be pissed.
 
2013-04-03 10:05:30 PM  

iheartscotch: Exactly, mein Fürher; excuse me, Dear Leader. It is not only possible, it is essential. That is the whole idea of this machine, you know. Deterrence is the art of producing in the mind of the enemy... the fear to attack. And so, because of the automated and irrevocable decision making process which rules out human meddling, the doomsday machine is terrifying. It's simple to understand. And completely credible, and convincing


Yes, but what good is a doomsday device if you don't tell anyone about it?!?!!
 
2013-04-03 10:05:38 PM  

somedude210: ha-ha-guy: All out war is not ideal, but really as history has shown to get of an entrenched military dictatorship you at least need to strong encourage them to exit stage left.  You can buy off some of them, but you at least need the threat of a bombing campaign to really have them move.  Depending on how crazy they really are, one or two might need to get a visit from Mr. JDAM to convince the others to leave.

I honestly think that if Kim was allowed to rule without the Generals around, he could actually reform the country and open relations with the outside world. But for that to happen, we need to oust the Generals

Think Emperor Hirohito post-war japan. Something like that. Keep Kim as ruler but make NK neutered militarily and open trade relations with it. Do so as a joint US/China effort and we could quell most tensions in East Asia for 15-20 years.


North Korea prides itself on its military might and size. Wouldn't your proposal of neutering them increase tensions?
 
2013-04-03 10:05:45 PM  

Giltric: If I was China I would use NK to start an engagement with the US and then decimate the US in an all or nothing war.


That's silly, because that war would end with the world an unusable, burnt cinder, and all civilization reduced to grunting and painting on cave walls with chalk. Also, China has no interest in attacking the US. We are far too important to them, economically. Remember, they need us a WHOLE lot more than we need them.

What China SHOULD do is invade North Korea. This might sound crazy, but is actually a perfect solution to all of the major problems China is facing right now:

1) Overpopulation of young adult males. If instead of using their higher-tech arsenal, they instead start a draft, targeting undesirables - males 18-30 with no education, a poor or non-existent job, and a potential for getting restless at home - and then send the drafted men on foot into NK with barely enough equipment to have fought the first Korean War and no training, they could get rid of a ton of their unwanted young males. Which leads to...

2) Korean Humanitarian Crisis. If they send those poorly armed, angry, violent young men with no futures into North Korea, they could effectively get them to slaughter a large percentage of the native population. Especially since most of the native population is technically in the reserve, anyway. China is good enough at locking down on critics, foreign and domestic, and powerfule enough, that they could get away with this without suffering any serious backlash from the international community. After all, who's going to impose sanctions on China today? And since they have a permanent veto at the UN, they are essentially above any kind of real reproach or punishment. Wiping out most of the NK citizens eliminates the threat of "the worlds biggest humanitarian crisis", as so many people like to call it. This, in turn, opens the door to...

3) Mineral wealth. China has a decent supply of mineral wealth already, but most experts agree that NK has HUGE reserves of rare earth metals. The same rare-earth metals that make most of modern technology possible. These deposits are worth trillions, and would be a huge boon to China's wealth. It would also act as a safeguard against internal economic collapse. China's economy is actually incredibly fragile: they're essentially one really bad corruption scandal or a good look at their TRUE books away from economic colapse. Think 2007, and then multiply by 100. That bad. A huge pool of new mineral wealth would act as collateral against their currency, and ensure that they could weather any major shock to their banking system. It also buys them time to begin cleaning up their act, and stabilizing their currency - something they can't do now, since any move to strengthen the banking system and weed out the corruption might just send their existing economy tumbling off the edge. And speaking of which...

4) Eternal expansion. China's current economy revolves around perpetual expansion funded largely by the government and government-run banks. But most of this expansion lately has been of the "We need to do something, anything, just to look busy" variety. This is what's driving the creation of the massive ghost cities. Or the world's largest mall that sits almost completely unoccupied. Or any number of other ridiculous projects that churn the money around enough that it looks like the economy is growing, even if it isn't. A large, newly-claimed cache  of mineral deposits would serve as a focal point of expansion, and allow the government to keep this artificial expansion going by heavily financing NK reconstruction and development. This will give their economy enough steam to push forward even while the central planning committee works on a sustainable and stable solution.

Really, this is a no-lose for China. To top it all off, it would establish them as a true super-power, acting as a unilateral  interventionist force to patrol their region of the world. It would also simultaneously strengthen relations with the US (most of us are idiots, and love people flexing their muscles to beat down a "bully", even if said bully weighs 85lbs and has been coaxed into it by the star quarterback, who then proceeds to clobber him guilt-free), and will diminish US power in Asia, sending a strong message to unaligned countries and our less loyal allies that there's a new sheriff in town. If they can wait until NK makes the first move, so much the better, since then they also look like heroes on the world stage.

In fact, I'm a little bit shocked that China hasn't already done that. They really need to pay me a lot of money to go over and consult.

/I take payment in US dollars, rare-earth minerals, and Chinese women
 
2013-04-03 10:05:58 PM  

Professor Farksworth: CygnusDarius: Meisaims: I feel actual solace knowing that if Korea starts nuking the US, I'll at least have a really interesting time reading the response on Fark.

I actually don't want to read those comments. It will be depressing.

Holy shiat. He did it. The little fat fark actually did it. And he succeeded?!

Grab some popcorn, the US response is going to be entertaining!


Yup, entertaining.

/Whad'ya need, youngster?
 
2013-04-03 10:06:24 PM  

Boxcutta: I swear, I always end up with one of those North Korean Generals sitting in front of me at the movies.


Fortunately, they're really short.
 
2013-04-03 10:06:41 PM  

Skeptos: Guntram Shatterhand: I'm curious how China is going to react to this.  NK is probably making their lives very difficult right now, it's either shiat or get off the pot.  Keeping America pissed at this sad dictatorship can't be good for business.

I don't see Kim Jong-Un lasting long, no matter what occurs.

One thing we can be pretty sure of is that China doesn't want another US ally on its border.  If I were Xi I'd be thinking of a pre-emptive occupation of the north (and deposition of the Kims).


I've been thinking this for more than a month now. You have to wonder if we've ever quietly nudged China and say "Hey, if you wanted to take out the Kims and install a puppet state there, that'd be OK with us.
 
2013-04-03 10:06:47 PM  

Infernalist: China has no desire to see NK friendly with the U.S.  NK is their buffer zone and a proxy to rile the Americans when they see fit.

Make no mistake about it, the Chinese are pissed off at Un right now, but only because he's not following orders.


I think China would be happier if they could have a NK that wouldn't piss  everyone off. To that end, I think a joint operation with the Chinese is the only peaceful solution. But it'll be a coup to put Kim in power and take out the generals

/can you stage a coup to put yourself in power if you're already the leader?
//does that seem weird?
 
2013-04-03 10:07:01 PM  
Hey North Korea, check out our poster:

i.qkme.me

Your poster:

randomoverload.net

Try it, you little shiats.
 
2013-04-03 10:08:24 PM  

aevorea: North Korea prides itself on its military might and size. Wouldn't your proposal of neutering them increase tensions?


if it means that NK survives as a semi-independent country with the backing of China and no military threat to the world, I think they could go for it. If the generals go, there is no military, there is no hard line, Kim can then be the reformer he promised to be.

Seriously, get rid of the generals and we'd have Happy fat kim, not crazy Un
 
2013-04-03 10:08:28 PM  

Igor Jakovsky: What has China had to say about all this, aside from supporting the UN resolutions?  A guy (country) on your border threatens to nuke your largest trading partner.  C'mon China.


No shiat.

China, you're a superpower now.  Starting acting like one, and take care of business.
 
2013-04-03 10:08:56 PM  

doglover: Triumph: zerkalo: [farm3.staticflickr.com image 384x288]

[upload.wikimedia.org image 150x355]

That's where we're headed.*

*According to Twitter

And?

When you're not in a fight and you've got a shield, you still put it in place if it looks like you may get hit.


I really doubt we get to Defcon 2 just from bluster. That pretty much scrambles the entire military.
 
2013-04-03 10:08:58 PM  

Bontesla: Girion47: Bontesla: Girion47: Bontesla: Girion47: Bontesla: Girion47: Bontesla: jjwars1: Bontesla: The more he moves toward war - the more I'm thinking that he had something up his sleeve.

Yeah, I have that same feeling. It seems most everyone here thinks this is some opportunity to laugh and joke about the situation by mocking N. Korea. I don't think they should underestimate Korea's capabilities though. If I were ruling an underdog nation I would purposefully mislead intelligence, build allies, make myself and the country look weak and incapable, build an arsenal on foreign and domestic soil, and launch an attack on my enemies infrastructure, kill the Internet, release airborn biological weapons, chemical, and nukes from outside my own country.

Agreed. Even if they don't have nuclear capabilities - they certainly have the potential to inflict damage. Lil Kim was educated in what - Switzerland? He's had exposure beyond his little bubble.

Either he's truly the world's worst poker player or we're underestimating him.

And certainly - he's got to know that they would not survive (as a country) in this conflict.

If this were a novel - I would be writing that Lil Kim is looking to either hide or expose something heinous. Perhaps Lil Kim has gotten word that his administration is being investigated for a genocide and a war is a really great way to get other people to destroy damning evidence?

Wouldn't be a disaster thread without you!

/Got Bonnaroo tix, Macklemore will be there.
//Headed down to ATL on Friday, is the Clermont as awesome as claimed?

Oh my goodness! Have an amazing time.
I'm sooo envious! Is this your first time in Atlanta??

No it's not my first time there, but it will be my first "vacation" there.   I've done the aquarium/CNN HQ and a few restaurants while traveling through, but that was with co-workers.

There's this AMAZING place called Porter House. They have like over 800 different beers and the best salt and vinegar popcorn. The menu is onlin ...


I'm sure my wife would be right there with him.
 
2013-04-03 10:10:02 PM  
hurray! same ol' propaganda, different day. sad that people still fall for it.
 
2013-04-03 10:10:11 PM  

cleverscreenname77: [i0.kym-cdn.com image 625x491]

/Kimchi Jong Un


media.tumblr.com
 
2013-04-03 10:10:17 PM  
fark YES!!!!! I cannot wait to do IT contracts for the US military in the wastelands of North Korea. I bet those skinny little NK women would blow you for a power bar or a pint of milk. ( easily had for free at the D-fac.).

THANKS CHAMPAIGN!!!!!
 
2013-04-03 10:11:34 PM  
We should just send in the Blue Angels. They could do some loops and cool shiat, then write "Fark off n00b" in blue smoke in Korean as they fly away unscathed and Dear Leader shakes his tiny little fist.
 
2013-04-03 10:11:53 PM  

Lusiphur: Giltric: If I was China I would use NK to start an engagement with the US and then decimate the US in an all or nothing war.

That's silly, because that war would end with the world an unusable, burnt cinder, and all civilization reduced to grunting and painting on cave walls with chalk. Also, China has no interest in attacking the US. We are far too important to them, economically. Remember, they need us a WHOLE lot more than we need them.

What China SHOULD do is invade North Korea. This might sound crazy, but is actually a perfect solution to all of the major problems China is facing right now:

1) Overpopulation of young adult males. If instead of using their higher-tech arsenal, they instead start a draft, targeting undesirables - males 18-30 with no education, a poor or non-existent job, and a potential for getting restless at home - and then send the drafted men on foot into NK with barely enough equipment to have fought the first Korean War and no training, they could get rid of a ton of their unwanted young males. Which leads to...

2) Korean Humanitarian Crisis. If they send those poorly armed, angry, violent young men with no futures into North Korea, they could effectively get them to slaughter a large percentage of the native population. Especially since most of the native population is technically in the reserve, anyway. China is good enough at locking down on critics, foreign and domestic, and powerfule enough, that they could get away with this without suffering any serious backlash from the international community. After all, who's going to impose sanctions on China today? And since they have a permanent veto at the UN, they are essentially above any kind of real reproach or punishment. Wiping out most of the NK citizens eliminates the threat of "the worlds biggest humanitarian crisis", as so many people like to call it. This, in turn, opens the door to...

3) Mineral wealth. China has a decent supply of mineral wealth already, but most experts agre ...


Kind of a wonky approach, militarily speaking.  But, you're spot on about China's economics and the wealth laying in NK territory.  The only problem is 'getting to it' will take a lot of initial investment.  A decade or more and untold millions, if not billions to modernize NK's mining operations to the point of being able to get at their RRE wealth.

China 'could' do it, but it's a massive long-term investment in a country that isn't their's AND they have cultural issues regarding the Korean people in general.

In short, it'd be a mess, but doable.  I don't see them annexing NK until they have no other choice, and that's yet another reason why China is not happy with NK.  They're forcing the issue.
 
2013-04-03 10:12:58 PM  
Here's a question: If we have a war with NK, how are we going to get the money for it? Borrow it from China?
 
2013-04-03 10:14:59 PM  

CruJones: We should just send in the Blue Angels. They could do some loops and cool shiat, then write "Fark off n00b" in blue smoke in Korean as they fly away unscathed and Dear Leader shakes his tiny little fist.


How are they going to see it with the blue sky?
 
2013-04-03 10:15:47 PM  
 
2013-04-03 10:15:53 PM  
croesius

studebaker hoch: I kind of miss Gaddafi. He had his own style.

All he needed was a white glove and he would have been the Michael Jackson of terrorists.

cdn.thedailybeast.com


doyoulikelikeme.files.wordpress.com

Get the f*ck out of here.
 
2013-04-03 10:16:07 PM  
So... I just re-read TFA.

It goes on about how most everybody believes that Lil' Kim has no way of mounting an effective nuke warhead on any ballistic delivery that could reach the States.

Then it quotes the SecDef as announcing that, nope, "now they have delivery capacity," and we need to be all frightened and shiat.

Nothing makes me more apathetic about crap like this than the Pentagon stroking itself while behind the scenes it gets an even bigger shopping list ready along with pre-made reasons to use everything on that shopping list.

I really, really, hate my job some days.
 
2013-04-03 10:16:24 PM  

Fireproof: Here's a question: If we have a war with NK, how are we going to get the money for it? Borrow it from China?


It'd be mostly an air campaign.  Destroy their SK border artillery batteries and their capitol from the air and have the SKs and Chinese maintain the borders.

Once their border artillery batteries are destroyed, the Air Force can bomb the capitol into rubble at their leisure.  NK's air defenses are based on 1950's tech and none of it has the range to hit the high altitude bombers we use today.

Then we let the Chinese move in. They'd never let us take NK, anyways.
 
2013-04-03 10:17:04 PM  

Triumph: doglover: Triumph: zerkalo: [farm3.staticflickr.com image 384x288]

[upload.wikimedia.org image 150x355]

That's where we're headed.*

*According to Twitter

And?

When you're not in a fight and you've got a shield, you still put it in place if it looks like you may get hit.

I really doubt we get to Defcon 2 just from bluster. That pretty much scrambles the entire military.


Wait, so the lower the number the higher the alert?
 
2013-04-03 10:17:29 PM  
Somedude,

You very well may be correct and as I stated from the beginning of my initial post is I do not claim to be an expert on this subject.  However, if one were to look at China's actions in the past decade, they have behaved like the prom queen knowing that a handjob is enough to make you forget about her blowing the captain of the football team.

How much longer will the US be useful to China?  Yes we are the largest economy in the world, but China's efforts in emerging markets could more than offset the potential loss to our markets should the US try to play hard ball.  Add to the mix China owns almost $2 Trillion in US debt and can tease the opportunity for US companies to have an opportunity to sell in the mainland and I could easily see how China could feel they were in a position of strength when dealing with the US re: North Korea.

While I could be wrong, there are only two certainties, one, you can never trust China to do what is "right," but you can count on China doing what is in its own interest, the rest of the world be damned...
 
2013-04-03 10:18:15 PM  
I thought it was obvious that china was building all of those empty cities for the NORK refugees.
 
2013-04-03 10:19:02 PM  

doglover: Triumph: doglover: Triumph: zerkalo: [farm3.staticflickr.com image 384x288]

[upload.wikimedia.org image 150x355]

That's where we're headed.*

*According to Twitter

And?

When you're not in a fight and you've got a shield, you still put it in place if it looks like you may get hit.

I really doubt we get to Defcon 2 just from bluster. That pretty much scrambles the entire military.

Wait, so the lower the number the higher the alert?


Bingo.
 
2013-04-03 10:19:07 PM  
Oppa DPRK Style

i.imgur.com">
 
2013-04-03 10:19:37 PM  

doglover: Triumph: doglover: Triumph: zerkalo: [farm3.staticflickr.com image 384x288]

[upload.wikimedia.org image 150x355]

That's where we're headed.*

*According to Twitter

And?

When you're not in a fight and you've got a shield, you still put it in place if it looks like you may get hit.

I really doubt we get to Defcon 2 just from bluster. That pretty much scrambles the entire military.

Wait, so the lower the number the higher the alert?


Notsureifserious.jpg

But I'll answer. Yes, a nice sunny day is Defcon 5. All out nuclear war = Defcon 1.
 
2013-04-03 10:20:09 PM  
Why would the US want to stop this?  It gives us a perfect excuse to keep extending our military might into the pacific, including missile interceptor systems, airbases, and naval assets.

China is worried about being "boxed in and contained"... they should be!  With friends like North Korea it gives the United States a free hand to do whatever we want in the region in the name of global security.  You would think that China wouldn't be the most thrilled with North Korea over that.
 
2013-04-03 10:20:32 PM  

jpo2269: Somedude,

You very well may be correct and as I stated from the beginning of my initial post is I do not claim to be an expert on this subject.  However, if one were to look at China's actions in the past decade, they have behaved like the prom queen knowing that a handjob is enough to make you forget about her blowing the captain of the football team.

How much longer will the US be useful to China?  Yes we are the largest economy in the world, but China's efforts in emerging markets could more than offset the potential loss to our markets should the US try to play hard ball.  Add to the mix China owns almost $2 Trillion in US debt and can tease the opportunity for US companies to have an opportunity to sell in the mainland and I could easily see how China could feel they were in a position of strength when dealing with the US re: North Korea.

While I could be wrong, there are only two certainties, one, you can never trust China to do what is "right," but you can count on China doing what is in its own interest, the rest of the world be damned...


Maybe they 'are' a Superpower already, after all.

Just like us.
 
2013-04-03 10:22:06 PM  

Xetal: Why would the US want to stop this?  It gives us a perfect excuse to keep extending our military might into the pacific, including missile interceptor systems, airbases, and naval assets.

China is worried about being "boxed in and contained"... they should be!  With friends like North Korea it gives the United States a free hand to do whatever we want in the region in the name of global security.  You would think that China wouldn't be the most thrilled with North Korea over that.


Exactly!  There's no reason at all for the Chinese to want this escalated.  NK is supposed to make a lot of noise and then STOP short of actually making the Americans show up.  They're not playing according to their script and the Chinese have got to be pissed off about it.
 
2013-04-03 10:23:47 PM  

Infernalist: China 'could' do it, but it's a massive long-term investment in a country that isn't their's AND they have cultural issues regarding the Korean people in general.


Hence the first two points. A massive land invasion from the north that inflicts heavy personnel damage on both countries, but costs China next to nothing. Wipe out their dissenting class and at the same time, wipe out most of the north koreans. Then they get to the RREs free and clear.

And actually, the fact that it would take a decade to dig up is actually a plus. That's ten years of legitimate artificial economic inflation, and is also the minimum amount of time that it would take for China to get their more conventional economic house in order.
 
2013-04-03 10:24:27 PM  
Screw the nukes. They need more impressive hats.

i23.photobucket.com

Admit it, you marvelled.
 
2013-04-03 10:25:45 PM  

Ivo Shandor: Lost Thought 00: In the most technical sense of that term. It had a lower orbit than Sputnik

The North Korean satellite's current orbit is about 100 km above the International Space Station. Sputnik did have a higher apogee but its orbit was elliptical with a perigee of only 215 km (according to Wikipedia). Sputnik re-entered the atmosphere after 3 months and the Korean satellite is coming up on 4.


I just landed a rover on Eve and got a Mk2 capsule to orbit the Mün once before being kicked out into a encounter with Minmus, so I got a kick out of that.
 
2013-04-03 10:25:51 PM  
well...here at the end of the world

bie?
eip
 
2013-04-03 10:26:33 PM  

Lusiphur: Infernalist: China 'could' do it, but it's a massive long-term investment in a country that isn't their's AND they have cultural issues regarding the Korean people in general.

Hence the first two points. A massive land invasion from the north that inflicts heavy personnel damage on both countries, but costs China next to nothing. Wipe out their dissenting class and at the same time, wipe out most of the north koreans. Then they get to the RREs free and clear.

And actually, the fact that it would take a decade to dig up is actually a plus. That's ten years of legitimate artificial economic inflation, and is also the minimum amount of time that it would take for China to get their more conventional economic house in order.


Free and clear?  Most of the cost will come from infrastructure rebuilding, not feeding the starving masses.  They're still using tech and tools from the 1950s.  Granted, they could probably destroy most of the NK population without anyone saying 'boo' about it, but the fact remains that they're still looking at spending ungodly amounts of capital on modernizing the place to get at the RRE wealth.

I don't see how eliminating dissenters and the NK population can help with that massive initial investment.
 
2013-04-03 10:26:36 PM  

scottydoesntknow: Notsureifserious.jpg


When was the last time Defcon was even announced to the public? Like 1982?
 
2013-04-03 10:27:12 PM  
pics.imcdb.org
 
2013-04-03 10:27:32 PM  
I have a question.

How close to Japan would you have to get to EMP them into the 19th Century?
 
2013-04-03 10:28:09 PM  
static.neatoshop.com

Fitting? Yes? No?
 
2013-04-03 10:28:54 PM  

chopit: Isn't that basically the plot of one of the splinter cell games?


You mean Tom Clancys Splinter Cell?
 
2013-04-03 10:29:05 PM  
"The moment of explosion is approaching fast."

That's ok Un, it happens to lots of men.
 
2013-04-03 10:30:03 PM  

Heraclitus: I have a question.

How close to Japan would you have to get to EMP them into the 19th Century?


Really close range.  Like...Directly over a city.  EMPs are powerful but very short-range.

Now, the Soviets intended on using high-altitude nukes in such number as to blanket the U.S. in an attempt to short out communications coast-to-coast, but their nukes were vastly superior in design and power and number than anything the NK government has access to at the moment.
 
2013-04-03 10:30:37 PM  

Lusiphur: What China SHOULD do is invade North Korea.


Yeah, especially if you time it such that the US, SK, etc. do most of the heavy lifting. The minerals alone might pencil out pretty well.
 
2013-04-03 10:31:15 PM  

cretinbob: Ivo Shandor: Lost Thought 00: In the most technical sense of that term. It had a lower orbit than Sputnik

The North Korean satellite's current orbit is about 100 km above the International Space Station. Sputnik did have a higher apogee but its orbit was elliptical with a perigee of only 215 km (according to Wikipedia). Sputnik re-entered the atmosphere after 3 months and the Korean satellite is coming up on 4.

I just landed a rover on Eve and got a Mk2 capsule to orbit the Mün once before being kicked out into a encounter with Minmus, so I got a kick out of that.


Poor poor kerbles.

/Ahhhhhhhhh!
 
2013-04-03 10:31:44 PM  

eggrolls: [i.imgur.com image 425x261]
I'm sure Washington is more interested in China's posture in this event than Best Korea's.


I love how people that get a hard-on over pictures like this are also the same people lighting their hair on fire about government spending and taxes.

The military probably blew 250k in fuel just getting all that stuff in position for the picture.  Great example of government waste and abuse.
 
2013-04-03 10:32:08 PM  

doglover: scottydoesntknow: Notsureifserious.jpg

When was the last time Defcon was even announced to the public? Like 1982?


My bad, wasn't trying to be a douche, sounded like sarcasm in your post. You're right though, a lot of people don't know that.

Hell that new movie "Olympus Has Fallen" farks it up in the commercial, and that's a big budget movie.

"The White House has been blown up, the POTUS is under immediate threat, we are at a Defcon 2!"
 
2013-04-03 10:33:15 PM  

equusdc: Screw the nukes. They need more impressive hats.

[i23.photobucket.com image 300x165]

Admit it, you marvelled.


I loved that show
 
2013-04-03 10:35:59 PM  

doglover: scottydoesntknow: Notsureifserious.jpg

When was the last time Defcon was even announced to the public? Like 1982?


Dude, we're already at Defcon 4!

/Olympus Has Fallen farking sucked
//maybe the ranger battalion will save us
 
2013-04-03 10:36:15 PM  

somedude210: No. China and the US are too tied economically to have that happen. That's one of the great things about Nixon opening the door with China, we don't have to worry about direct war with them due to mutual economic destruction.

I do think that if something were to happen, then China, US/UN, SK and Japan would probably move in as a joint operation to quell Best Korea and either unify the Korean Peninsula or break it up a la Germany ca. 1945


Yep. Isolationism breeds war.
 
2013-04-03 10:36:44 PM  

scottydoesntknow: doglover: scottydoesntknow: Notsureifserious.jpg

When was the last time Defcon was even announced to the public? Like 1982?

My bad, wasn't trying to be a douche, sounded like sarcasm in your post. You're right though, a lot of people don't know that.

Hell that new movie "Olympus Has Fallen" farks it up in the commercial, and that's a big budget movie.

"The White House has been blown up, the POTUS is under immediate threat, we are at a Defcon 2!"


Heck, we only went to DEFCON 3 for 9/11. I remember our CO being all fired up about it.
 
2013-04-03 10:36:59 PM  

jpo2269: While I could be wrong, there are only two certainties, one, you can never trust China to do what is "right," but you can count on China doing what is in its own interest, the rest of the world be damned...


True, I certainly see your scenario playing out. I just think that China realizes that it's still beneficial now and probably for a few more decades, to continue being political adversaries with the US but still deal. Think of it more as the split between Democrats and Republicans circa 1980. We still have our differences ideologically but we know better than to cut our nose off to spite our face. We're willing to work together because we know it'll be mutually beneficial for both of us and help keep us both in a state of balance for the time being. NK is now the Tea Party if they existed in 1980. They'll be tossed aside if they start wreaking havoc.

We want to keep things the way they were, if not as a better working relationship between the major powers in the region. Otherwise, the Teatards take over China/NK/US and its the whole ball game.
 
2013-04-03 10:37:04 PM  

scottydoesntknow: "The White House has been blown up, the POTUS is under immediate threat, we are at a Defcon 2 4!"


FTFM. Hell I made the mistake haha.
 
2013-04-03 10:41:52 PM  

Omahawg: party at ground zero!


old fishbone is best fishbone


What a crazy fluke, we're gonna get nuked on this jolly holiday,
 
2013-04-03 10:41:54 PM  

jpo2269: Somedude,

You very well may be correct and as I stated from the beginning of my initial post is I do not claim to be an expert on this subject.  However, if one were to look at China's actions in the past decade, they have behaved like the prom queen knowing that a handjob is enough to make you forget about her blowing the captain of the football team.

How much longer will the US be useful to China?  Yes we are the largest economy in the world, but China's efforts in emerging markets could more than offset the potential loss to our markets should the US try to play hard ball.  Add to the mix China owns almost $2 Trillion in US debt and can tease the opportunity for US companies to have an opportunity to sell in the mainland and I could easily see how China could feel they were in a position of strength when dealing with the US re: North Korea.

While I could be wrong, there are only two certainties, one, you can never trust China to do what is "right," but you can count on China doing what is in its own interest, the rest of the world be damned...


So China's like every other country in the world, then?
 
2013-04-03 10:42:45 PM  

purple kool-aid and a jigger of formaldehyde: [pics.imcdb.org image 720x540]


+1
 
2013-04-03 10:43:11 PM  

purple kool-aid and a jigger of formaldehyde: [pics.imcdb.org image 720x540]


He must be early, I've still got 4:59
 
2013-04-03 10:43:28 PM  
Yeah, NK is setting itself up to be nuked... by China.  The US would just take out the launch sites or intercept the woefully under-tech missiles the NK warheads are on, we tend to feel bad about picking on retards these days.

China... not so reluctant to respond to someone trying to start a war on their northern border with actual, preemptive force.
 
2013-04-03 10:44:17 PM  

Infernalist: Lusiphur:
[actual informed discussion]

But, you're spot on about China's economics and the wealth laying in NK territory.  The only problem is 'getting to it' will take a lot of initial investment.  A decade or more and untold millions, if not billions to modernize NK's mining operations to the point of being able to get at their RRE wealth.

China 'could' do it, but it's a massive long-term investment in a country that isn't their's AND they have cultural issues regarding the Korean people in general.


There are five nations on this planet that are culturally capable of serious long-term planning.  They are, in no particular order, Japan, Japan, Japan, China, and Japan.

As you say, China might not have the economic stability to invest in that kind of plan.  And the point you make about their view of the Korean people is definitely a factor.  But if they have the money, they would DEFINITELY have the will to pull it off.

Meanwhile, our corporations' idea of a long-term plan is whatever makes the most money over the next, gosh, eight whole months!
 
2013-04-03 10:45:47 PM  

Heraclitus: I have a question.

How close to Japan would you have to get to EMP them into the 19th Century?


they pretty much already are.
 
2013-04-03 10:46:17 PM  

Infernalist: but the fact remains that they're still looking at spending ungodly amounts of capital on modernizing the place to get at the RRE wealth.


As opposed to spending ungodly amounts of capital to build empty ghost cities in the middle of the desert that no one will ever live in, use, or even likely visit?

The point is that they already do this (spending ungodly amounts of capital) on public works projects. They do this because it's the only thing keeping their economy from crumbling around them. This would let them redirect that capital towards something that might actually produce a return on investment. If you're throwing money out the window anyway, and it's cold outside, you might as well throw it in the fireplace and get some warmth out of it.
 
2013-04-03 10:46:20 PM  

over_and_done: Infernalist: Lusiphur:
[actual informed discussion]

But, you're spot on about China's economics and the wealth laying in NK territory.  The only problem is 'getting to it' will take a lot of initial investment.  A decade or more and untold millions, if not billions to modernize NK's mining operations to the point of being able to get at their RRE wealth.

China 'could' do it, but it's a massive long-term investment in a country that isn't their's AND they have cultural issues regarding the Korean people in general.

There are five nations on this planet that are culturally capable of serious long-term planning.  They are, in no particular order, Japan, Japan, Japan, China, and Japan.

As you say, China might not have the economic stability to invest in that kind of plan.  And the point you make about their view of the Korean people is definitely a factor.  But if they have the money, they would DEFINITELY have the will to pull it off.

Meanwhile, our corporations' idea of a long-term plan is whatever makes the most money over the next, gosh, eight whole months!


But, you also have to consider that they rather like having the NKs there as a buffer nation and a leashed dog to threaten the U.S. with.  They're going to try and maintain that status quo if at all possible. They do NOT want to move into NK unless there's no other choice.

It's a money pit and they know it.
 
2013-04-03 10:47:18 PM  

Infernalist: Heraclitus: I have a question.

How close to Japan would you have to get to EMP them into the 19th Century?

Really close range.  Like...Directly over a city.  EMPs are powerful but very short-range.

Now, the Soviets intended on using high-altitude nukes in such number as to blanket the U.S. in an attempt to short out communications coast-to-coast, but their nukes were vastly superior in design and power and number than anything the NK government has access to at the moment.


Thanks,

I'm just afraid they will attack an ally and we will be forced to retaliate.
 
2013-04-03 10:47:51 PM  

oldfarthenry: Dear 'merikuh,
             we understand you're having yet another dick-waving contest with North Best Korea. Please contain any nuclear fallout within your own borders.

Kisses,
Canuckada & Meh-Kee-Koh


It's kinda funny just how crazy the hatred of the USA burns in your veins.  Are most Canadians filled with such gut-churning, impotent rage, or just you?
 
2013-04-03 10:48:22 PM  
t2.gstatic.com
Putin: So did America finally do it?
Medvedev: No, Un did it.
Putin: You mean they stopped?  Nobody did it?
Medvedev: No,,Un did it.
Putin:  That's what I said, nobody did it.
Medvedev:  Stop
 
2013-04-03 10:49:01 PM  

scottydoesntknow: Hell that new movie "Olympus Has Fallen" farks it up in the commercial, and that's a big budget movie.


But Hollywood is written by a very select group of people. Many of them are non-athletic Manhattan Jews, judging by the insane number of scripts about characters that fit that description to come out.

So if you know anything about anything other than life in Manhattan and higher education, there's often glaring errors that any child with even the most cursory knowledge of the real subject matter could correct.

Example, in the movie Drive the driver, wheelman extraordinaire who knows a lot about cars, comments on how a new racing car "Has nice racing treads." on its tires. But anyone who's taken high school physics will remember that race car tires are smooth for maximum friction. Once the smooth rubber starts to melt, the coefficient is higher than any possible tread pattern and so they just focus on maximizing surface area.
 
2013-04-03 10:49:16 PM  

Lusiphur: Infernalist: but the fact remains that they're still looking at spending ungodly amounts of capital on modernizing the place to get at the RRE wealth.

As opposed to spending ungodly amounts of capital to build empty ghost cities in the middle of the desert that no one will ever live in, use, or even likely visit?

The point is that they already do this (spending ungodly amounts of capital) on public works projects. They do this because it's the only thing keeping their economy from crumbling around them. This would let them redirect that capital towards something that might actually produce a return on investment. If you're throwing money out the window anyway, and it's cold outside, you might as well throw it in the fireplace and get some warmth out of it.


This is a very valid point.  And yet, if it's so logical as all that, why haven't the Chinese already moved in to modernize NK and simply lay claim to the vast majority of those RREs?  They already buy most of NK's mineral exports BELOW COST of extraction..
 
2013-04-03 10:50:35 PM  

tinyarena: [t2.gstatic.com image 251x200]
Putin: So did America finally do it?
Medvedev: No, Un did it.
Putin: You mean they stopped?  Nobody did it?
Medvedev: No,,Un did it.
Putin:  That's what I said, nobody did it.
Medvedev:  Stop


This made me giggle like a school girl.
 
2013-04-03 10:52:14 PM  

Infernalist: But, you also have to consider that they rather like having the NKs there as a buffer nation and a leashed dog to threaten the U.S. with.  They're going to try and maintain that status quo if at all possible. They do NOT want to move into NK unless there's no other choice.


I keep hearing this canard, but it really doesn't make any sense. Why do they need a buffer zone? What is it a buffer against? More specifically, what does having a PHYSICAL buffer do in an age where you can travel around the world in less than 24 hours?

As far as having a lap-dog to threaten the US, what does that accomplish for them? What does China get by having a country that is known to not be a credible threat to, really, anyone (except an estimated 30k South Koreans) threaten the world's largest superpower? It's not like the global community makes concessions to China every time one of the Kims rattle their saber.

It's a useless entity, and the people going on and on about buffer zones and lap-dogs are living 50 years ago in a world where the Cold War is still on using Cold War technology. "Buffer Zone" is an anachronism, and doesn't really belong in the modern playbook.
 
2013-04-03 10:52:16 PM  

Infernalist: tinyarena: [t2.gstatic.com image 251x200]
Putin: So did America finally do it?
Medvedev: No, Un did it.
Putin: You mean they stopped?  Nobody did it?
Medvedev: No,,Un did it.
Putin:  That's what I said, nobody did it.
Medvedev:  Stop

This made me giggle like a school girl.


my work here is done
 
2013-04-03 10:52:17 PM  
Infernalist,

Maybe they are... Economically at least.

When you are the prom queen, the prospect of being "the first" will make many a man do things that they normally wouldn't do and put up with a lot of shiat that you wouldn't with a lesser prospect..  With billions of people as a potential market, China has played the golden hoo-hah card perfectly, never giving it up to potential suitors, but giving a glimpse and a promise... and fools come rushing in and the US is at the front of the line...
 
2013-04-03 10:54:06 PM  

Lusiphur: Infernalist: But, you also have to consider that they rather like having the NKs there as a buffer nation and a leashed dog to threaten the U.S. with.  They're going to try and maintain that status quo if at all possible. They do NOT want to move into NK unless there's no other choice.

I keep hearing this canard, but it really doesn't make any sense. Why do they need a buffer zone? What is it a buffer against? More specifically, what does having a PHYSICAL buffer do in an age where you can travel around the world in less than 24 hours?

As far as having a lap-dog to threaten the US, what does that accomplish for them? What does China get by having a country that is known to not be a credible threat to, really, anyone (except an estimated 30k South Koreans) threaten the world's largest superpower? It's not like the global community makes concessions to China every time one of the Kims rattle their saber.

It's a useless entity, and the people going on and on about buffer zones and lap-dogs are living 50 years ago in a world where the Cold War is still on using Cold War technology. "Buffer Zone" is an anachronism, and doesn't really belong in the modern playbook.


Farking THIS. Bears repeating, because I'm tired of hearing it too.
 
2013-04-03 10:54:19 PM  

Mike_LowELL: Congratulations, Taxbongo.  You know the president has really screwed up when North Korea is directing threats your way.


Well, between you and Henry, I see the derp contingent is off to a strong start this thread.
 
2013-04-03 10:56:30 PM  

enemy of the state: dameron: My fear is that he'll float a nuke into the port of Long Beach.  I have no doubt they could do this.  This is exactly the scenario Oppenheimer presented to Congress back in 1945.

<i>Sen. Millikin: We... have mine-detecting devices, which are rather effective... I was wondering if anything of that kind might be available to use as a defense against that particular type of use of atomic bombs.

Dr. Oppenheimer: If you hired me to walk through the cellars of Washington to see whether there were atomic bombs, I think my most important tool would be a screwdriver to open the crates and look. I think that just walking by, swinging a little gadget would not give me the information </i>

It'd be REALLY hard to find a well hidden atomic bomb.   Even given 1940's technology, the radioactive plutonium core of an implosion type bomb would weight less than 20 pounds.

This is an extremely important point that nearly everyone overlooks. Best Korea doesn't need missiles to deliver a nuke to take out a US city.

It would be very easy to conceal a nuke in a shipping cargo container and set it off when it gets into SF Bay. Send it part by part to Pakistan as innocent looking bits and pieces (baseball sized chuck of plutonium goes in a tractor engine block), assemble it, put it in a lead box; and into a container headed to the US. You wouldn't even have to bribe people to look the other way. Shielding a nuke so that radiation detectors can't find it is completely trivial, six inches of lead will do the job just fine.

Pakistan got alot of their nuke parts from NK (or was it the other way around?) so, it can be done.

Or, put it on a submarine and send it on a one way trip. You don't have to go all the way to California, Tokyo, US bases in South Korea, or Pearl Harbor are all alot closer.

Probably NK is just running at the mouth, but since they *can* deliver a nuke already, I think this needs to be taken seriously. I'd suggest a nuclear air burst to take out the ...


No, it isn't that easy. Because, we, um. Kind of track ships.

We'd kind of NOTICE a cargo ship leaving north korea for the US, don't you think? Given how much they're being watched?

And I somehow doubt the chinese would let them smuggle it into china, then use one of their freighters, because holy shiat that would backfire on China.
 
2013-04-03 10:56:49 PM  
On 9/11 the DEFCON may have been at 3... But the doomsday plan had gone into effect. I remember the media saying that. Oh, wait. Here it is again.

BS DEFCON3, we were at doomsday.

Link
 
2013-04-03 10:58:24 PM  

Jim_Callahan: Yeah, NK is setting itself up to be nuked... by China.  The US would just take out the launch sites or intercept the woefully under-tech missiles the NK warheads are on, we tend to feel bad about picking on retards these days.

China... not so reluctant to respond to someone trying to start a war on their northern border with actual, preemptive force.


images3.wikia.nocookie.net

And they are generous, so generous.
 
2013-04-03 10:58:56 PM  

Felgraf: No, it isn't that easy. Because, we, um. Kind of track ships.

We'd kind of NOTICE a cargo ship leaving north korea for the US, don't you think? Given how much they're being watched?

And I somehow doubt the chinese would let them smuggle it into china, then use one of their freighters, because holy shiat that would backfire on China.


If anyone so much as thinks we aren't watching anything larger than Un himself moving anywhere on that rock right now, they're out of their minds.
 
2013-04-03 11:00:18 PM  

make me some tea: So uh, fire ze missiles?


But I am le tired.
 
2013-04-03 11:00:26 PM  

Infernalist: Bschott007: Infernalist: I used to think that he was doing this strictly to shore up support among the ruling military class.  Now...Now I have no clue what that lil bastard is up to.

He can't be serious.  We all know he can't hit the U.S.  How can this possibly end, except in humiliation for NK?

It's like..He's playing poker and going all-in with a handful of junk cards and we've seen them and he's still insisting that he's got a Royal Straight Full House Flush.

Not that I believe he actually intends to strike but let us not dismiss NK out of hand.  They don't need an ICBM.  That's cold war thinking.

If they really want to strike the US with nukes, NK just has to have a few cargo ships with the NK equivilant of a SCUD missile tipped with a nuke.  Park the cargo ship just off-shore and fire the missiles into the US.

Or instead of missiles, either off-load a nuke into a van and drive the van into a city.  BOOM.

Or if the van-attack is too much planning, just explode the nuke on-board the ship while it is docked in a harbor.

Heck, if it's a cargo ship, it is big and not much is going to stop it if they decide to sail that near a heavily populated area of a city's shoreline. I very much doubt law enforcement would be able to respond, let alone stop, a 'run away' cargo ship headed towards the city's shoreline...and the military response time?  Laughably slow.

Likely-hood of NK doing this?  Small to non-existent.  Likely-hood NK is going to attack at all?   I'm fairly certain this is just saber-rattling but again, if they wanted to attack the US mainland and be assured of their nukes hitting designated targets, then is is a good way to do so without needing ICBMs.

1) How much outgoing NK cargo do you suppose there is?

2) How much of it do you think is going anywhere near America?

3) What's the likelihood of ANY ship leaving NK not getting covertly searched by at least one interested national power?

4) What's the likelihood of NK shipping their only 'real' def ...


If anything, the most "feasible" scenario would be Nuclear Artillery leveling Seoul. We had similar devices in the '50's, and believe it was tossed because our missile and long range bomber tech was enough, combined with the fact that using nuclear ordinance on a battlefield is suicidally stupid in regards to potential effects to your own troops.

North Korea though...
 
2013-04-03 11:01:16 PM  

doglover: But anyone who's taken high school physics will remember that race car tires are smooth for maximum friction. Once the smooth rubber starts to melt, the coefficient is higher than any possible tread pattern and so they just focus on maximizing surface area.


And anyone who knows anything about cars knows that all but the most purpose-built ultra-high-performance tires (like drag slicks, and some racing slicks) have treads. This is because treads, while technically diminishing the contact patch, serve many other important factors. Like controlling contact geometry. That is, when the tire is placed under stress (such as in high-speed cornering), the rubber deforms in a very specific and planned manner. Or evacuating water and debris, if there is a possibility of either, from underneath the tire.

In fact, most high performance tires have treads.  The tire is significantly smoother than any standard tire, but will have several directionally-biased channels.

Or in other words, check your facts before correcting people! (says the slightly out of shape, NYC-living Jew with a race car).

Infernalist: This is a very valid point.  And yet, if it's so logical as all that, why haven't the Chinese already moved in to modernize NK and simply lay claim to the vast majority of those RREs?  They already buy most of NK's mineral exports BELOW COST of extraction..


Because if they simply tried to take over, South Korea would have a shiat fit, and that would drag the US into it, and we'd have WW3 on our hands. If, instead, they wait for a plausible excuse (like preemptive military action by NK), they get to take over AND look like heroes.

Or, possibly, because the Chinese are not nearly as diabolical and convoluted as I am. I should have been a bond villain. If only I had studied more in college.
 
2013-04-03 11:02:36 PM  
somedude:

You make a very strong argument and one that cannot be dismissed out of hand.  What I am trying to argue is not counter to what you are stating.  IMO, China is in a position where they could play the Best Korea card and then try to play "make up" with the US...

IMO the whole relationship between the US and China has mostly been to China's benefit with very little coming back to the  States.  The potential markets in China present a target too tempting to write off, even for the most cynical American (myself included).
 
2013-04-03 11:03:01 PM  

awalkingecho: Felgraf: No, it isn't that easy. Because, we, um. Kind of track ships.

We'd kind of NOTICE a cargo ship leaving north korea for the US, don't you think? Given how much they're being watched?

And I somehow doubt the chinese would let them smuggle it into china, then use one of their freighters, because holy shiat that would backfire on China.

If anyone so much as thinks we aren't watching anything larger than Un himself moving anywhere on that rock right now, they're out of their minds.


To be fair, he is pretty large.  You could probably build a suitcase nuke that would fit in one of those "manatee" sized coats, to borrow a phrase from a parallel thread.
 
2013-04-03 11:04:37 PM  

yagottabefarkinkiddinme: On 9/11 the DEFCON may have been at 3... But the doomsday plan had gone into effect. I remember the media saying that. Oh, wait. Here it is again.

BS DEFCON3, we were at doomsday.

Link


That...doesn't make sense. You can't jump from Defcon to something completely different. The Doomsday plan does not go into effect when Defcon reaches a certain level and Defcon reaching a certain level does not automatically trigger the plan.

Per the 9/11 Commission report, we only reached Defcon 3. They were on standby for 2, but the order never came.

/And linking to a 45 minute video? C'mon
 
2013-04-03 11:04:43 PM  
What North Koreans think is happening:

i28.photobucket.com

What the rest of the world thinks is happening:

i28.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-03 11:04:49 PM  

tnpir: nekom: Oh he can always stand down and claim to his people that the enemy has stood down in utter fear of their awesome armed forces. Unless he pushes just over the edge and shiat gets real. Then it'll be a matter of hours before DPRK as en entity is de facto gone.

Indeed - the only question is whether or not the U.S. does it or China rolls in and does it for us.


Cakewalk
 
2013-04-03 11:04:56 PM  

over_and_done: awalkingecho: Felgraf: No, it isn't that easy. Because, we, um. Kind of track ships.

We'd kind of NOTICE a cargo ship leaving north korea for the US, don't you think? Given how much they're being watched?

And I somehow doubt the chinese would let them smuggle it into china, then use one of their freighters, because holy shiat that would backfire on China.

If anyone so much as thinks we aren't watching anything larger than Un himself moving anywhere on that rock right now, they're out of their minds.

To be fair, he is pretty large.  You could probably build a suitcase nuke that would fit in one of those "manatee" sized coats, to borrow a phrase from a parallel thread.


Your point holds water. We're farked.
 
2013-04-03 11:05:23 PM  

awalkingecho: Lusiphur: Infernalist: But, you also have to consider that they rather like having the NKs there as a buffer nation and a leashed dog to threaten the U.S. with.  They're going to try and maintain that status quo if at all possible. They do NOT want to move into NK unless there's no other choice.

I keep hearing this canard, but it really doesn't make any sense. Why do they need a buffer zone? What is it a buffer against? More specifically, what does having a PHYSICAL buffer do in an age where you can travel around the world in less than 24 hours?

As far as having a lap-dog to threaten the US, what does that accomplish for them? What does China get by having a country that is known to not be a credible threat to, really, anyone (except an estimated 30k South Koreans) threaten the world's largest superpower? It's not like the global community makes concessions to China every time one of the Kims rattle their saber.

It's a useless entity, and the people going on and on about buffer zones and lap-dogs are living 50 years ago in a world where the Cold War is still on using Cold War technology. "Buffer Zone" is an anachronism, and doesn't really belong in the modern playbook.

Farking THIS. Bears repeating, because I'm tired of hearing it too.


You might not 'like' that these are terms still in use, and if you like, you can use 'other' terms to fit the situation if it makes you feel better, but the reality is this:

NK depends on China for basic survival.  They feed them a supply of food and energy to keep the country afloat.  They do so for a reason and it's not altruism.  NK is a proxy, a loud angry dog that they use to rile the U.S. on occasion.  Mostly for political reasons but sometimes just to get us angry.

Un is NOT playing by the rules of the game.  He's not supposed to THIS FAR as it brings the American military into play and the Chinese do NOT like that.

As for the term 'buffer zone', it's the same reason why we're so irate about Cuba.  It's the same reason why the Soviet Union developed the Iron Curtain and the buffer zone Eastern Europe countries.  Now, you may not like that this tactic still exists, but it still DOES exist even if you don't care for it and call it outdated and obsolete.  You see, America has no worries about a formidable enemy sitting on its borders.  It has two oceans and two proxy nations to secure itself against invasion.  China is larger than the U.S. and 'has' no such protection other than their sea between themselves and Japan and 'that' body of water clearly is no barrier to invasion.

So, yes, they treat NK as a buffer zone nation to create some breathing room between themselves and their enemies, even if you don't care for the terms used.
 
2013-04-03 11:06:58 PM  

awalkingecho: Farking THIS. Bears repeating, because I'm tired of hearing it too.


Thanks for the TF! I'll try to do you proud by immediately getting banned from a TFD thread!
 
2013-04-03 11:07:37 PM  
Good bye, Golden Age of the United States.  Very soon, our lives will be changing forever in ways we can't even begin to comprehend.  The wrath of North Korea will never, never be forgotten.  Sure, some of us will survive and adapt to a world that would be unrecognizable to us, but it will be just that, survival.  I only hope I'm one of the lucky ones that dies in the immediate aftermath and not one of the ones who will suffer under North Korean supremacy.  I for one will be spending my last remaining hours of this life making the best of what's left.  The cats and I live like we've never lived before.  I'll probably even stop reading Fark for a few minutes and stick my head outside long enough to enjoy the fresh, crisp cool air.  And then, I'll cry myself to sleep.
 
2013-04-03 11:08:06 PM  

PawisBetlog: ClavellBCMI: Assuming Best Korea's Troll-In-Chief actually *has* nukes to spare to throw at someone, and assuming he actually has a missile to attach them to that can fly further than 1,000km, and assuming he has a guidance system that can actually allow a warhead to come within 5km of his intended target, he *might* actually be able to cause some damage... right before we turn Best Korea into the World's Biggest Glass-Covered Self-Lighting Parking Lot.

SEe, the thing that worries me is an EMP blast.  He doesnt' necessarily have to get it close, just explode it 100 miles above the west coast and we are farked in a big way.

That's what worries me, A LOT.



Yeah this.

A while back they had a "failed" missile test - after which they declared that they have the capability of crippling the USA, or something to that effect.

Someone above said that EMP's have a very short range - not so.

One three decent high-altitude EMP's over the US - East, West, Center, and we're farked.
 
2013-04-03 11:09:54 PM  

MrHappyRotter: Good bye, Golden Age of the United States.  Very soon, our lives will be changing forever in ways we can't even begin to comprehend.  The wrath of North Korea will never, never be forgotten.  Sure, some of us will survive and adapt to a world that would be unrecognizable to us, but it will be just that, survival.  I only hope I'm one of the lucky ones that dies in the immediate aftermath and not one of the ones who will suffer under North Korean supremacy.  I for one will be spending my last remaining hours of this life making the best of what's left.  The cats and I live like we've never lived before.  I'll probably even stop reading Fark for a few minutes and stick my head outside long enough to enjoy the fresh, crisp cool air.  And then, I'll cry myself to sleep.


Some Best Korean nerd is skimming this thread and is going to use that verbatim in the next KCNA news broadcast as evidence of our growing despair.
 
2013-04-03 11:10:06 PM  

aevorea: Meh. I found the video hilariously relevant to the situation.


:D

See?

She GETS it!


Aar1012: I had to show my Fark age to my Girlfriend (that posted in this thread). She told me of this linked video

I responded that I refuse to click a TMLO link unless I can see the it doesn't link to that video and I've known this for years


*snert*

Oh, lawdy, man... that's a little TOO cautious!


gonzoduke: Dammit, I should have known better.


TommyDeuce: YES!


:D
 
2013-04-03 11:10:23 PM  

Infernalist: He can't be serious.  We all know he can't hit the U.S.


How do you know he hasnt shipped one over on a container in baltimore, Md. ?
 
2013-04-03 11:10:26 PM  

Lusiphur: awalkingecho: Farking THIS. Bears repeating, because I'm tired of hearing it too.

Thanks for the TF! I'll try to do you proud by immediately getting banned from a TFD thread!


GODSPEED!
 
2013-04-03 11:11:28 PM  

neongoats: MrHappyRotter: Good bye, Golden Age of the United States.  Very soon, our lives will be changing forever in ways we can't even begin to comprehend.  The wrath of North Korea will never, never be forgotten.  Sure, some of us will survive and adapt to a world that would be unrecognizable to us, but it will be just that, survival.  I only hope I'm one of the lucky ones that dies in the immediate aftermath and not one of the ones who will suffer under North Korean supremacy.  I for one will be spending my last remaining hours of this life making the best of what's left.  The cats and I live like we've never lived before.  I'll probably even stop reading Fark for a few minutes and stick my head outside long enough to enjoy the fresh, crisp cool air.  And then, I'll cry myself to sleep.

Some Best Korean nerd is skimming this thread and is going to use that verbatim in the next KCNA news broadcast as evidence of our growing despair.


And they'll use footage from Fallout: New Vegas for it!
 
2013-04-03 11:11:32 PM  

Spanky_McFarksalot: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 638x448]

considering their maps have  straight lines on a plant thats round, even if they do launch they'll probably hit Antarctica.


Not to poop the party, but that's how Mercator projections are supposed to work...
 
2013-04-03 11:12:43 PM  

GAT_00: I saw some article speculating this is all trying to stop a coup from happening, but I don't understand how this would stop a coup either.


If you want to stop a coupe, empty out the gas tank or put some spike strips on the road.
I see it on Cops all the time.
 
2013-04-03 11:14:59 PM