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(Google)   Best Leader has final approval to launch nukes   (google.com) divider line 639
    More: News, United States, National Defense University, Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel, Ministry of Unification, nuclear detonation, weapons-grade plutonium, North Korean military, interceptors  
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20872 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Apr 2013 at 8:07 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-03 11:10:26 PM

Lusiphur: awalkingecho: Farking THIS. Bears repeating, because I'm tired of hearing it too.

Thanks for the TF! I'll try to do you proud by immediately getting banned from a TFD thread!


GODSPEED!
 
2013-04-03 11:11:28 PM

neongoats: MrHappyRotter: Good bye, Golden Age of the United States.  Very soon, our lives will be changing forever in ways we can't even begin to comprehend.  The wrath of North Korea will never, never be forgotten.  Sure, some of us will survive and adapt to a world that would be unrecognizable to us, but it will be just that, survival.  I only hope I'm one of the lucky ones that dies in the immediate aftermath and not one of the ones who will suffer under North Korean supremacy.  I for one will be spending my last remaining hours of this life making the best of what's left.  The cats and I live like we've never lived before.  I'll probably even stop reading Fark for a few minutes and stick my head outside long enough to enjoy the fresh, crisp cool air.  And then, I'll cry myself to sleep.

Some Best Korean nerd is skimming this thread and is going to use that verbatim in the next KCNA news broadcast as evidence of our growing despair.


And they'll use footage from Fallout: New Vegas for it!
 
2013-04-03 11:11:32 PM

Spanky_McFarksalot: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 638x448]

considering their maps have  straight lines on a plant thats round, even if they do launch they'll probably hit Antarctica.


Not to poop the party, but that's how Mercator projections are supposed to work...
 
2013-04-03 11:12:43 PM

GAT_00: I saw some article speculating this is all trying to stop a coup from happening, but I don't understand how this would stop a coup either.


If you want to stop a coupe, empty out the gas tank or put some spike strips on the road.
I see it on Cops all the time.
 
2013-04-03 11:14:59 PM

scottydoesntknow: And they'll use footage from Fallout: New Vegas for it!


I think it would be better if they used footage of the destruction of Megaton in FO3. Makes US look like we were already as ramshackle and cobble-nailed as they are already indoctrinated to believe we are.
 
2013-04-03 11:16:03 PM

Lusiphur: doglover: But anyone who's taken high school physics will remember that race car tires are smooth for maximum friction. Once the smooth rubber starts to melt, the coefficient is higher than any possible tread pattern and so they just focus on maximizing surface area.

And anyone who knows anything about cars knows that all but the most purpose-built ultra-high-performance tires (like drag slicks, and some racing slicks) have treads. This is because treads, while technically diminishing the contact patch, serve many other important factors. Like controlling contact geometry. That is, when the tire is placed under stress (such as in high-speed cornering), the rubber deforms in a very specific and planned manner. Or evacuating water and debris, if there is a possibility of either, from underneath the tire.

In fact, most high performance tires have treads.  The tire is significantly smoother than any standard tire, but will have several directionally-biased channels.

Or in other words, check your facts before correcting people! (says the slightly out of shape, NYC-living Jew with a race car).

Infernalist: This is a very valid point.  And yet, if it's so logical as all that, why haven't the Chinese already moved in to modernize NK and simply lay claim to the vast majority of those RREs?  They already buy most of NK's mineral exports BELOW COST of extraction..

Because if they simply tried to take over, South Korea would have a shiat fit, and that would drag the US into it, and we'd have WW3 on our hands. If, instead, they wait for a plausible excuse (like preemptive military action by NK), they get to take over AND look like heroes.

Or, possibly, because the Chinese are not nearly as diabolical and convoluted as I am. I should have been a bond villain. If only I had studied more in college.


Adam Carolla owns more racing cars than anyone I know personally or in media. He was very upset by the SNAFU in Drive. While he's not always factual or educated on a topic, I trust him on carpentry, relationship, and cars because he's spent decades on each professionally. If he said the car wasn't supposed to have tread, I believe him because he's raced one.

And I didn't say out of shape, I said non-athletic. Sports movies often have a little "never played the game" gaffe in them. Why? Good writers often haven't. Like saying two football goalposts are 100 yards apart. They're not. They can't be. Is it major? No. But it's a tell.
 
2013-04-03 11:16:31 PM

neongoats: MrHappyRotter: Good bye, Golden Age of the United States.  Very soon, our lives will be changing forever in ways we can't even begin to comprehend.  The wrath of North Korea will never, never be forgotten.  Sure, some of us will survive and adapt to a world that would be unrecognizable to us, but it will be just that, survival.  I only hope I'm one of the lucky ones that dies in the immediate aftermath and not one of the ones who will suffer under North Korean supremacy.  I for one will be spending my last remaining hours of this life making the best of what's left.  The cats and I live like we've never lived before.  I'll probably even stop reading Fark for a few minutes and stick my head outside long enough to enjoy the fresh, crisp cool air.  And then, I'll cry myself to sleep.

Some Best Korean nerd is skimming this thread and is going to use that verbatim in the next KCNA news broadcast as evidence of our growing despair.


It will have to be edited.  I mentioned the cats but the North Koreans believe we don't have any food here.
 
2013-04-03 11:16:59 PM
 
2013-04-03 11:17:17 PM
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-04-03 11:17:46 PM

awalkingecho: scottydoesntknow: And they'll use footage from Fallout: New Vegas for it!

I think it would be better if they used footage of the destruction of Megaton in FO3. Makes US look like we were already as ramshackle and cobble-nailed as they are already indoctrinated to believe we are.


I like that. Then we send them a video of Liberty Prime wrecking their shiat. And we render it to actually be him in Pyongyang and Un running away like he's on a treadmill.
 
2013-04-03 11:18:01 PM
d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net
 
2013-04-03 11:18:08 PM
Well, fark

http://www.theaustralian.com.au/news/world/closure-opens-up-korean-te n sionsreal-and-clear-danger-from-pyongyang-says-us-defence-secretary-ch uck-hagel-of-north-korea/story-e6frg6so-1226612387112
 
2013-04-03 11:20:26 PM
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-04-03 11:20:53 PM

Hack Patooey: Well, fark

http://www.theaustralian.com.au/news/world/closure-opens-up-korean-te n sionsreal-and-clear-danger-from-pyongyang-says-us-defence-secretary-ch uck-hagel-of-north-korea/story-e6frg6so-1226612387112


i.imgur.com
 
2013-04-03 11:21:50 PM

scottydoesntknow: awalkingecho: scottydoesntknow: And they'll use footage from Fallout: New Vegas for it!

I think it would be better if they used footage of the destruction of Megaton in FO3. Makes US look like we were already as ramshackle and cobble-nailed as they are already indoctrinated to believe we are.

I like that. Then we send them a video of Liberty Prime wrecking their shiat. And we render it to actually be him in Pyongyang and Un running away like he's on a treadmill.


"DEATH IS A PREFERABLE ALTERNATIVE TO COMMUNISM."
 
2013-04-03 11:22:20 PM

Mr. Shabooboo: As someone who is listening for any interesting HF military traffic..I'm getting a kick out of that
reference...


Is it bad that your HF (High Frequency) reference was my second choice of acronym decryption?  First choice was Harbor Freight ... go to war with the Norks for 20% off with a coupon, and get a free flashlight!
 
2013-04-03 11:22:38 PM
bring it on, biatches
www.tribute.ca
 
2013-04-03 11:22:40 PM
 
2013-04-03 11:22:49 PM

Epicanis: Spanky_McFarksalot: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 638x448]

considering their maps have  straight lines on a plant thats round, even if they do launch they'll probably hit Antarctica.

Not to poop the party, but that's how Mercator projections are supposed to work...


Mercator projections show constant bearing courses as straight lines. Great circle routes aren't constant bearing courses though, and will curve on a Mercator map for anything beyond very short routes.
 
2013-04-03 11:22:54 PM

GAT_00: Infernalist: I used to think that he was doing this strictly to shore up support among the ruling military class.  Now...Now I have no clue what that lil bastard is up to.

He can't be serious.  We all know he can't hit the U.S.  How can this possibly end, except in humiliation for NK?

It's like..He's playing poker and going all-in with a handful of junk cards and we've seen them and he's still insisting that he's got a Royal Straight Full House Flush.

Yeah, this has gone long past just saber rattling for negotiating, unless he thinks that as long as he keeps upping the ante that eventually the UN restrictions will be eased.  That isn't going to happen.  What's more, he's Western educated in Switzerland, he knows that he's totally outmatched.

None of this makes sense.


Unless China comes to their aid...
 
2013-04-03 11:23:16 PM

Infernalist: NK depends on China for basic survival.  They feed them a supply of food and energy to keep the country afloat.  They do so for a reason and it's not altruism.


No, that's not why. They feed them a supply of food and energy because otherwise, they would have millions of dirt poor, uneducated, half-starved, brainwashed zombies pouring in to mainland china. They already have a major demographics time-bomb, and adding the NK's in to the mix would probably destroy the country. It gives them the best of both worlds: they get a workforce that's cheaper than theirs (even if the level of production they can achieve is crude), and at the same time avert a potentially regime-shaking mob. NK is a bigger problem for China than it has EVER been for the United States.

Infernalist: You see, America has no worries about a formidable enemy sitting on its borders.  It has two oceans and two proxy nations to secure itself against invasion.  China is larger than the U.S. and 'has' no such protection other than their sea between themselves and Japan and 'that' body of water clearly is no barrier to invasion.


That's the point: this is outdated thinking. It doesn't make ANY strategic sense whatsoever. First of all, any first-world nation can deploy a sizable force to any point in the world in less than a week (not counting prep time). Second of all, China has a MASSIVE open-ocean border. NK does not represent any kind of relevant buffer or obstacle to an invasion fleet. None, whatsoever. It keeps US troops in SK from advancing by land into mainland China, but that would never have been a remotely intelligent military operation either. Not in the last 50 years, anyway. Any attack on China would be made with air and sea power, at least initially, and once that's done, why bother marching for days through NK instead of taking water and air transport? It's a silly, outmoded, entirely unrelaistic viewpoint that completely and utterly ignores how wars have been fought in the last couple of decades. Hell, we didn't invade Iraq by land. Sure, we brought in land troops eventually, but the initial assault was air. Once you have air and naval defenses down, why march when you can float way faster? And finally, I very much doubt that China is in any way, shape, or form worried about an attack from the US or it's allies. At least not at the official level. No one, not one single person in the world, thinks that we will see a legitimate war between the US and China. And IF we did, it would not be fought with conventional weapons.

NK's whole reason for existence disappeared sometime in the 70's as commercial and military flight was perfected, and Desert Storm 2 was the nail in the coffin.

Also, there is no way in hell China actually thinks of the US as their "enemies". And if you think of China as YOUR "enemy", you have to be absolutely deluded. The US and China are wrapped up so tight, President Obama could shiat in Mao's mummified mouth, and the worst they'd do is send us a stern letter, or possibly sink a fishing boat in international waters. The same holds true in reverse. Hell, we don't have the political will to commit to a real invasion of Iraq, and you think that anyone (least of all the people at the top of the food chain) are going to let the US get involved with a war against China? Ever?
 
2013-04-03 11:23:16 PM

Infernalist: Heraclitus: I have a question.

How close to Japan would you have to get to EMP them into the 19th Century?

Really close range.  Like...Directly over a city.  EMPs are powerful but very short-range.



Not really. Starfish Prime, a 1.4 megaton EMP test in 1962 over the Pacific Ocean, caused havoc almost 900 miles away:

"The Starfish Prime electromagnetic pulse also made those effects known to the public by causing electrical damage in Hawaii, about 1,445 kilometres (898 mi) away from the detonation point, knocking out about 300 streetlights, setting off numerous burglar alarms and damaging a telephone company microwave link." (from teh wikis)

Granted, Best Korea is a long way from creating a bomb in the megaton range, but EMP is a definite threat, especially with all the solid-state stuff we have now (remember, in 1962, most electronics still used much more EMP-resistant electron-tube technology.)
 
2013-04-03 11:25:53 PM

Lusiphur: It keeps US troops in SK from advancing by land into mainland China, but that would never have been a remotely intelligent military operation either. Not in the last 50 years, anyway.


If anything, the border size and terrain at the China/DRPK border would be a bottleneck for any boots on the ground.
 
2013-04-03 11:27:50 PM
 
2013-04-03 11:28:03 PM

destrip: Infernalist: Heraclitus: I have a question.

How close to Japan would you have to get to EMP them into the 19th Century?

Really close range.  Like...Directly over a city.  EMPs are powerful but very short-range.


Not really. Starfish Prime, a 1.4 megaton EMP test in 1962 over the Pacific Ocean, caused havoc almost 900 miles away:

"The Starfish Prime electromagnetic pulse also made those effects known to the public by causing electrical damage in Hawaii, about 1,445 kilometres (898 mi) away from the detonation point, knocking out about 300 streetlights, setting off numerous burglar alarms and damaging a telephone company microwave link." (from teh wikis)

Granted, Best Korea is a long way from creating a bomb in the megaton range, but EMP is a definite threat, especially with all the solid-state stuff we have now (remember, in 1962, most electronics still used much more EMP-resistant electron-tube technology.)


Thats why I have lots of tube stereos. In case of the end of the world I'll be able to enjoy the warmth of my sweet vinyl collection...

\55 Maggie FTW
 
2013-04-03 11:28:07 PM
Obviously the hapless souls who make up the peasantry of North Korea are not anxious to get into this conflict.

If only they had some tools that they could use to oppose the tyrannical regime that has oppressed them for so long.
 
2013-04-03 11:29:52 PM
Well, I don't have to mention Starfish now

But here is a video anyway
 
2013-04-03 11:30:43 PM

Tellingthem: knocking out about 300 streetlights,


No wonder so many UFO sightings have been made near nuclear facilities. They're probing for a way to exact revenge.
 
2013-04-03 11:35:00 PM

awalkingecho: Tellingthem: knocking out about 300 streetlights,

No wonder so many UFO sightings have been made near nuclear facilities. They're probing for a way to exact revenge.


I thought the probing was the revenge? Well... maybe not for everyone. I actually enjoy it
 
2013-04-03 11:35:08 PM

mitEj: I think I figured it out.
He totally lost his shiat around the same time Twinkies were threatened.

Never fark with a fat kids snacks if he has an army and a nuke.

It all makes so much sense.


So all we have to do is send that lardbucket a few cases of Twinkies and he'll shut up?
 
2013-04-03 11:35:59 PM

Igor Jakovsky: If I had any shop skills I would put Un's head on Joffrey's  who is siiting on the iron throne.

Crazy kid sitting in a tenuous position of power, while those who are more powerful surround him with designs on said throne.


Ask and you shall receive. I actually made this about a month ago.

i.imgur.com
 
2013-04-03 11:37:32 PM
[lookatallthefarksigive.jpg]
 
2013-04-03 11:38:16 PM
s7.postimg.org
 
2013-04-03 11:39:06 PM
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-04-03 11:40:59 PM

Lusiphur: That's the point: this is outdated thinking. It doesn't make ANY strategic sense whatsoever


I agree from a rational, strategic point of view, but most people don't think rationally or strategically. The sheer proximity is going to cause problems for some people. Imagine if Baja California suddenly became a Chinese colony. It would make some people leery, not for any good reason, but just because they were there. Throw in an overblown military presence, and I can see a lot of regular folk being very unhappy.

The militaries aren't the only ones calling the shots here, there are lots of politicians in the mix, and they can have profoundly non-rational motives.
 
2013-04-03 11:43:17 PM
China has lost control of the situation. If it wasn't obvious yesterday, it's obvious today. It's unclear whether China was ever in control, or they were just being played by K1 and K2. China at some point will reflect on what went wrong there.

As a corollary, there aren't a lot of ways out left for K3. One way or another he's gone, unless he wins...which is unlikely. Like Saddam Hussein he's a mad dog, and nobody will want him around anymore.
 
2013-04-03 11:43:24 PM
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-04-03 11:43:53 PM

awalkingecho: What's everyone make of this?


i190.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-03 11:45:45 PM

Lusiphur: In fact, I'm a little bit shocked that China hasn't already done that. They really need to pay me a lot of money to go over and consult.

/I take payment in US dollars, rare-earth minerals, and Chinese women



"Can I be first?"
 
2013-04-03 11:46:03 PM

scottydoesntknow: So if he's supposed to be the supreme leader, why does he need "final approval"?


Because "final approval" is the last step before "final countdown."
 
2013-04-03 11:46:43 PM

SubBass49: Lusiphur: In fact, I'm a little bit shocked that China hasn't already done that. They really need to pay me a lot of money to go over and consult.

/I take payment in US dollars, rare-earth minerals, and Chinese women


"Can I be first?"


Goddamn image-link fail.
 
2013-04-03 11:47:01 PM
paris is worth a mass and this is not worth nuking korea's ass

now this woman's ass on the other hand

farm4.staticflickr.com
 
2013-04-03 11:48:29 PM

Amos Quito: One three decent high-altitude EMP's over the US - East, West, Center, and we're farked.


Ummm....no. Not even close. During the cold war, the Russians detonated high-yield, 300kT above a small city in Kazakstan, specifically to check for EMP damage. This was a very specific, very controlled blast, organized by top Russian scientists, using state-of-the-art technology for the time. The EMP shockwave absolutely crippled the city over which the blast took place, the furthest extent of "real" damage was about 600km, or 400 miles. So if the North Koreans managed to explode a 300kT nuke over, say, San Francisco, they would take out the bay area, and maybe do some sporadic damage to Portland. That's it. LA would be unaffected, as would Seattle. Which is assuming they had a 300kT nuke. Their last test is estimated to have been in the 7-10kT range. Going back to the history books, we see that the Russians first tried their EMP experiments with 1.2kT, 11kT, and 40kT yields, all of which yielded negligible results.

So no, an EMP is not even remotely a threat. It's more likely that Kim Jong Un walks across the Pacific, whips out his nuclear schlong, and rapes the West Coast to death.

Even Starfish Prime caused minimal damage past a 600 or so mile radius (since I doubt a temporary power fluctuation and a couple of blown street lights will bring the West Coast to its knees), and that was a 1.4mT blast.

doglover: If he said the car wasn't supposed to have tread, I believe him because he's raced one.


www.f1wolf.com
These are bridgestone's Formula 1 racing tires. Only one of them is completely treadless (the racing slick), and is mainly used in perfect conditions on a pristine track. Adam Corolla is not a racing expert. He's a celebrity who catches a track day here and there.

But really, if Adam Corolla got bent out of shape by that comment majorly, I seriously doubt that he is quite the expert that he is portrayed as by the media. He has an impressive car collection, but at his level of wealth, who doesn't? The only legit Automobile-related accomplishment I could find for him was winning the 2012 Toyota Pro/Celebrity race in the Celebrity category. It's not bad, but hardly makes him an expert on the finer points of rubber meeting road. Especially since he's never had to dive balls-deep into the physics of tire maintenance or performance the way someone trying to catch track days on a shoe-string budget does.

But this is neither here nor there. I get a little testy when it comes to cars.
 
2013-04-03 11:48:50 PM
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-04-03 11:49:12 PM
besides....do you people know any koreans?

they drink like fish! worse than me even!

maybe he's just drunk and feeling macho.

he'll wake up in the morning hungover and apologize
 
2013-04-03 11:49:45 PM
Oh! Now I know how to answer that OkCupid question!

Q: In a certain light, wouldn't nuclear war be exciting?
A: YES with this asshat
 
2013-04-03 11:49:57 PM
worth not nuking, even. duh
 
2013-04-03 11:50:44 PM

Omahawg: besides....do you people know any koreans?

they drink like fish! worse than me even!

maybe he's just drunk and feeling macho.

he'll wake up in the morning hungover and apologize


Worked with a bunch in the 90's  That farking "PLUMB WINE" eshhh  bleaahh
 
2013-04-03 11:51:02 PM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: This seemed relevant at the time.


I hate you so much now.
 
2013-04-03 11:51:47 PM
24.media.tumblr.com
 
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