If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Yahoo)   Dear Abby, my girlfriend has huge implants and walks around the house topless all the time. I find it a turn off. Do I have a penis?   (news.yahoo.com) divider line 51
    More: Amusing, Abigail Van Buren, breast implants, Jeanne Phillips, Pauline Phillips, loving relationships, Turn-on, Upstate New York, girlfriend  
•       •       •

22857 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Apr 2013 at 1:41 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-04-03 01:35:44 PM  
8 votes:
DEAR ABBY: Before we met, my girlfriend got large breast implants. I think they're a terrible turn-off as I am very gay, but I don't know how to tell her. Should I try to overlook this because I love her and am a Republican state representative, or can I tell her the truth about why our love life is sometimes not so hot? I have known her long enough that the next step is marriage -- or nothing.

She walks around the house bare-chested and obviously thinks I find her breasts a big turn-on. I have faked it for five years. What should I do? What do you think she would say if I invited my not boyfriend to join in? -- NOT THAT EXCITED IN COLORADO


This is the unedited letter he almost sent.
2013-04-03 02:05:05 PM  
5 votes:
s3.amazonaws.com
2013-04-03 01:59:39 PM  
5 votes:
encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
2013-04-03 01:48:55 PM  
5 votes:

Nadie_AZ: DEAR ABBY: Before we met, my girlfriend got large breast implants. I think they're a terrible turn-off as I am very gay, but I don't know how to tell her. Should I try to overlook this because I love her and am a Republican state representative, or can I tell her the truth about why our love life is sometimes not so hot? I have known her long enough that the next step is marriage -- or nothing.

She walks around the house bare-chested and obviously thinks I find her breasts a big turn-on. I have faked it for five years. What should I do? What do you think she would say if I invited my not boyfriend to join in? -- NOT THAT EXCITED IN COLORADO

This is the unedited letter he almost sent.


Let he who has not seen a horrifically bad boob job cast the first implant.
2013-04-03 02:05:12 PM  
4 votes:
I'm pretty sure i wouldn't mind tits.  In fact, tits are great.  All kinds of tits.  Doesn't matter.  Big tits, little tits, floppy tits, perky tits, hell even back tits if the nipples are drawn on properly.  You really just can't go wrong with tits.  I mean really, who doesn't love a nice pair of Bazooms,Beacons, Beanbags, Bebops, Betty Boops, Big Boppers, Bikini Stuffers, Billibongs, Blinkers, Bombers, Bombshells, Bon Bons, Bongos, Bonkers, Boobers, Boobies, Boobs, Boops, Bops, Bosom, Boulders, Bouncers, Bra Buddies, Bra Stuffers, Breasts, Bronskis, Bubbas, Bubbies, Buds, Bulbs, Bulges, Bullets, Bumpers, Bumps, Bust, Busters, Busties, Butterballs, Buttons, Caboodles, Cams, Cannon Balls, Cantaloupes, Carumbas, Cha-chas, Charlies, Chihuahuas, Chimichongas, Chiquitas, Coconuts, Congas, Corkers, Cream Pies, Cuhuangas, Cupcakes, Dingers, Dinghies, Dingos, Dirigibles, Doorknobs, Doozies, Double-Whammies, Dueling Banjos, Dumplings, Dunes, Ear Muffs, Eclairs, Eggplants, Enchiladas, Flapjacks, Flappers, Flesh Bulbs, Fog Lights, Fried Eggs, Fun Bags, Gagas, Garbos, Gazingas, Gazongas, Glands, Globes, Globlets, Gob Stoppers, Gongas, Goombas, Grapefruits, Grillwork, Guavas, Gum Drops, Hand Warmers, Handsets, Head Lamps, Headers, Headlights, Headphones, Headsets, Hefties, Heifers, Hemispheres, Hills, Hindenburgs, Honeydews, Honkers, Hood-Ornaments, Hoohas, Hooters, Hot Cakes, Hottentots, Howitzers, Hubcaps, Huffies, Humdingers, Hush Puppies, ICBMS, Jawbreakers, Jemimas, Jibs, Jobbers, Jugs, Jukes, Jumbos, Kabukis, Kalamazoos, Kazongas, Kazoos, Knobbers, Knockers, Kongas, Kumquats, Lactoids, Lip Fodder, LLamas, Loaves, LobLollies, Love Mellons, Love Muffins, LuLus, Macaroons, Mammaries, Mammies, Mams, Mangos, Marangos, Maraschinos, Marimbas, Mau Maus, Mausers, Meat Loaves, Meatballs, Melons, Milk Cans, Milk Fountains, Milk Shakes, Mmbos, Molehills, Mommas, Mondos, Montain Peaks, Montezumas, Moo Moos, Mother Lodes, Mounds, Muchachas, Muffins, Mulligans, Mushmellons, Nancies, Nectarines, Niblets, Nibs, Nippers, Nippies, Nippleoons, Nippleos, Nips, Nodes, Nodules, Noogies, Nose Cones, Oboes, Oompas, Orbs Apples, Ottomans Balboas, Padding Balloons, Pagodas Bangers, Pair Bangles, Palookas Bassoons, Peaches, Peaks, Pears, Pects, Peepers, Pillows, Pips, Plums, Pointer-Sisters, Points, Pokers, Polygons, Pompoms, Pontoons, Potatoes, PT Boats, Pumpkins, Rangoons, Rib Cushions, Sandbags, Satellites, Scones, Scoops, Set, Shakers, Shebas, Shermans, Shimmies, Silos, Skin Sacks, Skooners, Smoothies, Snuggle Pups, Spark Plugs, Specials, Spheres, Spongecakes, Spuds, Stacks, Stuffing Casabas, Sugar Plums, Sweater Meat, Sweater Puffs, Sweet Rolls, Tahitis, Tamales, Tartugas, Tatas, Tattlers, Teats, Tetons, Thangs, Thingumajigs, Tidbits, Titbits, Tits, Titters Domes, Titties Doodads, Tom-Toms, Tomatoes, Torpedoes, Tortillas, Totos Dugs, Twangers, Tweakers, Tweeters, Twin Peaks, Twofers, Tympanies, U-Boats, Umlauts, Wahwahs, Zeppelins, Zingers
2013-04-03 01:54:50 PM  
4 votes:
"Dear Abby, my girlfriend got me to pay for basketballs to be implanted into her chest. Her nipples now resemble pancakes run over by a tanker truck, and skin is starting to rip. I am afraid they will suddenly pop off and explod on the floor like two alien blanc manges before she can take off with the tribal tattooed gym douchebag of her dreams."
2013-04-03 01:30:39 PM  
4 votes:
www.fugly.com
2013-04-03 02:23:38 PM  
3 votes:
Pair of boobies, different sizes and not even ...


ibc.lynxeds.com
2013-04-03 02:15:16 PM  
3 votes:
i48.tinypic.com

Throw a couple of nipples on those, and you can take her dancing.
2013-04-03 02:03:44 PM  
3 votes:
Actually, yes, you do have a penis, you're just not attracted to Tupperware. It's not right, it's not wrong. To each his own.

*Cough* homo.
2013-04-03 03:05:44 PM  
2 votes:
I don't know what this guy's problem is.  They're always hot.

entertainment.blogs.foxnews.com
2013-04-03 02:35:46 PM  
2 votes:
0.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com
2013-04-03 01:58:00 PM  
2 votes:
farkette here

keep going, please, "real is ok" farkers

i've been thinking of skipping a double date this weekend over insecurity - her fakes in clothes outshine my own - its difficult if half the dinner party are focused on one quarter of it

B cup - don't care, usually
2013-04-03 01:52:29 PM  
2 votes:
So, silicone (or saline) implants are "fake" when a woman gets them. But, let a guy get them, along with other "fake" parts, and suddenly, he becomes a "real" woman.

Very interesting.
2013-04-03 01:45:15 PM  
2 votes:
How big? Double-Ds? Fs? Js? Were they built for speed or comfort? Gonna need some pics.
2013-04-03 04:29:12 PM  
1 votes:
I shudder to think what is in the "Steath Hippopotamus"'s NSFW collection...
2013-04-03 03:29:03 PM  
1 votes:
i47.tinypic.com
2013-04-03 03:27:31 PM  
1 votes:

letrole: Anyone who claims to prefer girls with small breasts also tends to:

1. Own a TV but haven't turned it on in years
2. Drink microbrewery beer
3. Watch Japanese children's cartoons on a Mac
4. Appreciate the warmth of vinyl phonograph records
5. Read books at Starbucks
6. Ride a bike to work wearing spandex stretch trousers
7. Make snide remarks about Wal-Mart.
8. Walk past a smoker and force pretentious coughing noises
9. Take comfort in believing size doesn't matter
10. Feign disgust at the idea of eating a Big Mac


Anybody who posts the same list verbatim in multiple boob threads also tends to:
1.  Have seen one set of boobs in their life, which happened to be big.
2.  Secretly fantasize about small-chested girls, but is afraid of owning up to it because they think it makes them a little gay.
3.  Not know what nipples are for.
4.  Spend a fair amount of spare time practicing the one handed bra unhook technique for the day it will finally come in handy.
5.  Think motorboating is the height of physical comedy.
6.  Took notes during the "bag of sand" scene from 40 Year Old Virgin.
7.  Has wear marks on the "Ctrl", "C", and "V" keys on their keyboard.
8.  Sides with Carlos Mencia in the whole Joe Rogan debacle.
9.  Repeats themselves a lot.
10.  Repeats themselves a lot.
2MS [TotalFark]
2013-04-03 03:17:08 PM  
1 votes:
t2.gstatic.com
This thread makes me happy!!
2013-04-03 03:11:09 PM  
1 votes:
Real or fake, big or small, MagSeven loves them all!
/breasts: the only reason to soldier on in an otherwise pointless universe.
2013-04-03 03:01:05 PM  
1 votes:
Tits are tits, fake or real I don't care

I just want to touch them ladies, gentle like and in a non creepy way. So pay no attention to the five gallon bucket of lube, rubber gloves, and a house plant I have here
2013-04-03 03:00:19 PM  
1 votes:
I saw this today, and I wondered when there would be an appropriate opportunity to link to it.

Fark did not let me down.

/Audio might not be safe for work, use headphones
2013-04-03 02:53:55 PM  
1 votes:
It took me a minute, but I figured out how this could happen to this guy...

1. He sees a girl with large breasts who he finds attractive.
2. He dates her for a few weeks, has sex and finds out the breasts are fake.
3. He may have developed feelings for her at that point, and didn't want to hurt her feelings by telling her he hates fake breasts.

Now there's a problem which both of them caused. She had fake breasts (false advertising), when he found out the truth, he either felt he was being shallow, didn't want to hurt her feelings, or he was just plain shallow.

To the ladies in this thread, if you are confused about how guys in this thread speak about hating fake breasts and how it still seems that guys in the real world are attracted to women with fake breasts, here's your answer. -Sometimes we can't tell, and even when we can, sometimes there are no better options.

e.g. not a single guy in this thread would have turned down a night with Pamela Anderson when she had fake tits. They certainly would have preferred them to be real, and they probably would have preferred a version of her with smaller, *real* tits. But the truth is if two identical twins were next to each other and one *appeared* to have legitimately larger breasts, who do you think will get the attention?

It's the same thing as wearing a fake Rolex for a guy on a date... He *appears* rich and seems nice, so a girl agrees to go on a date with him. If she later finds out the watch is fake, can she leave without being judged or feeling bad about herself when she finds out he's a school teacher?
2013-04-03 02:48:06 PM  
1 votes:
img4.imageshack.us

SUPER TITS!
2013-04-03 02:41:14 PM  
1 votes:
YOURE GODDAM RIGHT THIS IS A BOOKMARK
2013-04-03 02:39:32 PM  
1 votes:

Nurglitch: buckeyebrain: This is not a bookmark.

Nope.


You're going to log on to a computer and spank it to still photos? What is this, 1993?

/cause if it is, somebody please kill Dick Cheney before he's unleashed on the world.
2013-04-03 02:30:54 PM  
1 votes:

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: DirkTheDaring: You make the call NSFW

I give up. Yeast infection?


Tipped uterus?
2013-04-03 02:30:02 PM  
1 votes:

nocturnal001: heh, I get the feeling that many of them (not all, some are genuine in their preference) think they like small boobs, but they really just don't know what small boobs are because they don't get how sizing works.


Or they just take in to much anime and think that DD is normal

img46.imageshack.us
2013-04-03 02:21:44 PM  
1 votes:

OgreMagi: I had a girlfriend with a boob job who liked to walk around the house naked.  Because I am not gay, I encouraged that behavior.

Also, from personal experience, women who had boob jobs just LOVE showing them off.


This.
A friend of Mrs. Banned had recently gotten implants and was going to take her into the bathroom to show them off.  She turns to me and the wife and asks if I want to see them too.  I could not have been more uncomfortable if you took a car battery to my nipples.
2013-04-03 02:20:36 PM  
1 votes:
You can really tell who in this thread has been with a real woman, and who has just tossed it to pron..
2013-04-03 02:16:07 PM  
1 votes:
i34.photobucket.com

They're LIES!
2013-04-03 02:15:04 PM  
1 votes:
My room mate walks around with his huge nuts hanging out; farking disgusting
2013-04-03 02:12:41 PM  
1 votes:

Nadie_AZ: DEAR ABBY: Before we met, my girlfriend got large breast implants. I think they're a terrible turn-off as I am very gay, but I don't know how to tell her. Should I try to overlook this because I love her and am a Republican state representative, or can I tell her the truth about why our love life is sometimes not so hot? I have known her long enough that the next step is marriage -- or nothing.

She walks around the house bare-chested and obviously thinks I find her breasts a big turn-on. I have faked it for five years. What should I do? What do you think she would say if I invited my not boyfriend to join in? -- NOT THAT EXCITED IN COLORADO

This is the unedited letter he almost sent.


http://mrssatan.blogspot.com/2007/10/john-wayne-gacy-was-democrat.ht ml
2013-04-03 02:09:47 PM  
1 votes:
img837.imageshack.us
2013-04-03 02:09:13 PM  
1 votes:

nocturnal001: Always odd that Fark is the place where all the people who hate fake boobs congregate.  Not just prefer real ones, but hate fakes with some sort of passion.

Any real boob is better than any fake?  I guess you guys have never seen good fakes or bad real ones.


My rule is that they are real if you can touch them.
2013-04-03 02:05:39 PM  
1 votes:
www.trollmania.org
i280.photobucket.com
i280.photobucket.com
i280.photobucket.com
2013-04-03 02:04:18 PM  
1 votes:
My wife has a beautiful looking pair of B-cups. Although my son did a number on them during his infancy, I still do not skip the chance to latch onto them like a lamprey. She wants to get the surgery done and I am loosing the fight. I hope she reconsiders, I love em natural.
2013-04-03 02:03:36 PM  
1 votes:
I'm using this post as a bookmark because I enjoy reading the intelligent online debate regarding natural vs. augmented breasts and wish to return later.  BIE EIP
2013-04-03 02:01:43 PM  
1 votes:
CleanAndPure:

Large natural > small natural > small fake > completely flat > large fake

You don't say much my friend, but when you do it's to the point, and I salute you for it.  

media.sdreader.com
2013-04-03 02:00:36 PM  
1 votes:
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
2013-04-03 01:57:19 PM  
1 votes:

Banned on the Run: [i216.photobucket.com image 700x998]


The label on the boxing bag is artfully cropped.
2013-04-03 01:55:50 PM  
1 votes:
It's all fake. I hate my girlfriends tits! I'm gay and want to move to the US! It 2013 and I know nothing about the tattoo craze that started over 20 years ago!

What's this internet? Where's the onion on my belt???
2013-04-03 01:55:20 PM  
1 votes:
Some men are turned on by big bags of saltwater or silicone, some aren't.
2013-04-03 01:49:50 PM  
1 votes:
2013-04-03 01:48:28 PM  
1 votes:
Look great, feel like shiat.
2013-04-03 01:48:03 PM  
1 votes:
FAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEE

/ 1. Are you sure you have a girlfriend?

2. Is there a easily questioned third party that has observed you two together?

3. Can you prove that this third party exists?
2013-04-03 01:46:42 PM  
1 votes:
i25.photobucket.com
2013-04-03 01:44:52 PM  
1 votes:

Nadie_AZ: DEAR ABBY: Before we met, my girlfriend got large breast implants. I think they're a terrible turn-off as I am very gay, but I don't know how to tell her. Should I try to overlook this because I love her and am a Republican state representative, or can I tell her the truth about why our love life is sometimes not so hot? I have known her long enough that the next step is marriage -- or nothing.

She walks around the house bare-chested and obviously thinks I find her breasts a big turn-on. I have faked it for five years. What should I do? What do you think she would say if I invited my not boyfriend to join in? -- NOT THAT EXCITED IN COLORADO

This is the unedited letter he almost sent.


You have superior skills at reading between the lines, sir.
2013-04-03 01:44:25 PM  
1 votes:
no
2013-04-03 01:43:49 PM  
1 votes:
2013-04-03 01:32:31 PM  
1 votes:
Pics or it never happened
 
Displayed 51 of 51 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report