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(Yahoo)   Dear Abby, my girlfriend has huge implants and walks around the house topless all the time. I find it a turn off. Do I have a penis?   (news.yahoo.com) divider line 67
    More: Amusing, Abigail Van Buren, breast implants, Jeanne Phillips, Pauline Phillips, loving relationships, Turn-on, Upstate New York, girlfriend  
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22822 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Apr 2013 at 1:41 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-04-03 01:46:39 PM
10 votes:
I dunno, implants are pretty gross.
2013-04-03 01:45:39 PM
9 votes:
Fake tits almost always look better in clothes than out of them. And unless you are a cancer survivor it screams insecure attention whore - stay far,far away.
2013-04-03 01:49:40 PM
8 votes:
Fyi:

Large natural > small natural > small fake > completely flat > large fake
2013-04-03 01:47:20 PM
7 votes:
So if I prefer natural boobs in whatever size to bolt on large implants that means I'm gay?

The more you know...
2013-04-03 01:54:15 PM
6 votes:
Put me in the "implants, no thanks" group.
2013-04-03 01:51:26 PM
6 votes:
I'm with this dude.  Fake boobs look better in clothes, real boobs look better out of clothes.  I'd take small real ones over big fake ones any day.

Boobs are great.  Half spheres of silicone with oddly placed nipples on them aren't.
2013-04-03 01:49:39 PM
6 votes:

HotWingConspiracy: I dunno, implants are pretty gross.


They're gross, but in the same way that one of those "death by chocolate" desserts is gross. There's like eight forms of chocolate in it, and it's overly sweet and far too rich. But you know goddamn well you're going to plow into it regardless and experience it to its unwholesome fullness. Sometimes, pretty gross is just what you need.
2013-04-03 02:01:23 PM
5 votes:
I'm pretty sure, fake boobs or not, if you've been lying to your girlfriend about your attraction to her for five years, you probably have larger issues.
2013-04-03 01:49:38 PM
5 votes:
She's like, "Tell your girlfriend you like smaller tits and to get smaller implants."

... he said he finds them a turn-off.  He didn't say he found big tits a turn-off.  Maybe he meant he finds fake tits a turn-off and you should have kept your real boobs, because fark.  What is wrong with women anyway?  Fake tits?  When I squeeze them you don't feel shiat, that's so pointless.
2013-04-03 02:01:07 PM
4 votes:
Love the "If you don't drool over silicone hemispheres that look terrible, barely move, and stand up like oranges were stuffed into them, then you're a flaming queer!" mentality.

I'm sorry, I like NATURAL breasts. Ones that look and move and feel like breasts should, not like bags of gelatin minerals that stretch flesh and prevent movement.
2013-04-03 01:59:39 PM
4 votes:
encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
2013-04-03 01:50:47 PM
4 votes:

drewogatory: Fake tits almost always look better in clothes than out of them. And unless you are a cancer survivor it screams insecure attention whore - stay far,far away.


Two instant "will-not-date" requirements for me: 1. She's a smoker. 2. She's got implants.

They don't feel right, look right, jiggle right, and about half the time, there's very gross scarring.
2013-04-03 01:30:39 PM
4 votes:
www.fugly.com
2013-04-03 02:15:11 PM
3 votes:
i.imgur.com
2013-04-03 02:01:43 PM
3 votes:
CleanAndPure:

Large natural > small natural > small fake > completely flat > large fake

You don't say much my friend, but when you do it's to the point, and I salute you for it.  

media.sdreader.com
2013-04-03 01:58:00 PM
3 votes:
farkette here

keep going, please, "real is ok" farkers

i've been thinking of skipping a double date this weekend over insecurity - her fakes in clothes outshine my own - its difficult if half the dinner party are focused on one quarter of it

B cup - don't care, usually
2013-04-03 01:56:21 PM
3 votes:
You can tell if someone never was good with the ladies by their obsession with boobs. Boobs are an afterthought, but look at Fark.... A chick can be 200 pounds, but have watermelon saggy boobs, and be a goddess..

A trim, healthy body beats floppy boobs attached to a potato any day.
2013-04-03 01:49:55 PM
3 votes:
i216.photobucket.com
2013-04-03 01:48:55 PM
3 votes:

Nadie_AZ: DEAR ABBY: Before we met, my girlfriend got large breast implants. I think they're a terrible turn-off as I am very gay, but I don't know how to tell her. Should I try to overlook this because I love her and am a Republican state representative, or can I tell her the truth about why our love life is sometimes not so hot? I have known her long enough that the next step is marriage -- or nothing.

She walks around the house bare-chested and obviously thinks I find her breasts a big turn-on. I have faked it for five years. What should I do? What do you think she would say if I invited my not boyfriend to join in? -- NOT THAT EXCITED IN COLORADO

This is the unedited letter he almost sent.


Let he who has not seen a horrifically bad boob job cast the first implant.
2013-04-03 01:45:06 PM
3 votes:
implants suck
2013-04-03 01:43:52 PM
3 votes:
there comes a point when their size makes them resemble the shaking love handles of a fat man though.
2013-04-03 06:11:14 PM
2 votes:
i like itty bitty titties
2013-04-03 02:35:39 PM
2 votes:

parasol: farkette here

keep going, please, "real is ok" farkers

i've been thinking of skipping a double date this weekend over insecurity - her fakes in clothes outshine my own - its difficult if half the dinner party are focused on one quarter of it

B cup - don't care, usually


seriously... If the guy you are with is concentrating on another girl with fake tits on your double date, why are you allowing him a chance at continuing his gene pool?

Unless it's really just your insecurity, you really shouldn't stand for a guy treating you this way. It's not going to get better, he's just going to cheat on you eventually (if he's actually doing this).

Cut him off now and find someone who can't take their eyes off *you*.
2013-04-03 02:13:25 PM
2 votes:
Let me add a bit of color to this thread i.imgur.com
i.imgur.com
i.imgur.com
2013-04-03 02:05:12 PM
2 votes:
I'm pretty sure i wouldn't mind tits.  In fact, tits are great.  All kinds of tits.  Doesn't matter.  Big tits, little tits, floppy tits, perky tits, hell even back tits if the nipples are drawn on properly.  You really just can't go wrong with tits.  I mean really, who doesn't love a nice pair of Bazooms,Beacons, Beanbags, Bebops, Betty Boops, Big Boppers, Bikini Stuffers, Billibongs, Blinkers, Bombers, Bombshells, Bon Bons, Bongos, Bonkers, Boobers, Boobies, Boobs, Boops, Bops, Bosom, Boulders, Bouncers, Bra Buddies, Bra Stuffers, Breasts, Bronskis, Bubbas, Bubbies, Buds, Bulbs, Bulges, Bullets, Bumpers, Bumps, Bust, Busters, Busties, Butterballs, Buttons, Caboodles, Cams, Cannon Balls, Cantaloupes, Carumbas, Cha-chas, Charlies, Chihuahuas, Chimichongas, Chiquitas, Coconuts, Congas, Corkers, Cream Pies, Cuhuangas, Cupcakes, Dingers, Dinghies, Dingos, Dirigibles, Doorknobs, Doozies, Double-Whammies, Dueling Banjos, Dumplings, Dunes, Ear Muffs, Eclairs, Eggplants, Enchiladas, Flapjacks, Flappers, Flesh Bulbs, Fog Lights, Fried Eggs, Fun Bags, Gagas, Garbos, Gazingas, Gazongas, Glands, Globes, Globlets, Gob Stoppers, Gongas, Goombas, Grapefruits, Grillwork, Guavas, Gum Drops, Hand Warmers, Handsets, Head Lamps, Headers, Headlights, Headphones, Headsets, Hefties, Heifers, Hemispheres, Hills, Hindenburgs, Honeydews, Honkers, Hood-Ornaments, Hoohas, Hooters, Hot Cakes, Hottentots, Howitzers, Hubcaps, Huffies, Humdingers, Hush Puppies, ICBMS, Jawbreakers, Jemimas, Jibs, Jobbers, Jugs, Jukes, Jumbos, Kabukis, Kalamazoos, Kazongas, Kazoos, Knobbers, Knockers, Kongas, Kumquats, Lactoids, Lip Fodder, LLamas, Loaves, LobLollies, Love Mellons, Love Muffins, LuLus, Macaroons, Mammaries, Mammies, Mams, Mangos, Marangos, Maraschinos, Marimbas, Mau Maus, Mausers, Meat Loaves, Meatballs, Melons, Milk Cans, Milk Fountains, Milk Shakes, Mmbos, Molehills, Mommas, Mondos, Montain Peaks, Montezumas, Moo Moos, Mother Lodes, Mounds, Muchachas, Muffins, Mulligans, Mushmellons, Nancies, Nectarines, Niblets, Nibs, Nippers, Nippies, Nippleoons, Nippleos, Nips, Nodes, Nodules, Noogies, Nose Cones, Oboes, Oompas, Orbs Apples, Ottomans Balboas, Padding Balloons, Pagodas Bangers, Pair Bangles, Palookas Bassoons, Peaches, Peaks, Pears, Pects, Peepers, Pillows, Pips, Plums, Pointer-Sisters, Points, Pokers, Polygons, Pompoms, Pontoons, Potatoes, PT Boats, Pumpkins, Rangoons, Rib Cushions, Sandbags, Satellites, Scones, Scoops, Set, Shakers, Shebas, Shermans, Shimmies, Silos, Skin Sacks, Skooners, Smoothies, Snuggle Pups, Spark Plugs, Specials, Spheres, Spongecakes, Spuds, Stacks, Stuffing Casabas, Sugar Plums, Sweater Meat, Sweater Puffs, Sweet Rolls, Tahitis, Tamales, Tartugas, Tatas, Tattlers, Teats, Tetons, Thangs, Thingumajigs, Tidbits, Titbits, Tits, Titters Domes, Titties Doodads, Tom-Toms, Tomatoes, Torpedoes, Tortillas, Totos Dugs, Twangers, Tweakers, Tweeters, Twin Peaks, Twofers, Tympanies, U-Boats, Umlauts, Wahwahs, Zeppelins, Zingers
2013-04-03 01:55:20 PM
2 votes:
Some men are turned on by big bags of saltwater or silicone, some aren't.
2013-04-03 01:52:29 PM
2 votes:
So, silicone (or saline) implants are "fake" when a woman gets them. But, let a guy get them, along with other "fake" parts, and suddenly, he becomes a "real" woman.

Very interesting.
2013-04-03 01:50:03 PM
2 votes:
I'm not writing a letter to Dear Abby, but when I see implants while doing program research on Cinemax, I only notice the scars and the perfect spheres that stand directly outwards, unaffected by gravity.
2013-04-03 01:49:50 PM
2 votes:
2013-04-03 01:43:49 PM
2 votes:
2013-04-03 01:35:44 PM
2 votes:
DEAR ABBY: Before we met, my girlfriend got large breast implants. I think they're a terrible turn-off as I am very gay, but I don't know how to tell her. Should I try to overlook this because I love her and am a Republican state representative, or can I tell her the truth about why our love life is sometimes not so hot? I have known her long enough that the next step is marriage -- or nothing.

She walks around the house bare-chested and obviously thinks I find her breasts a big turn-on. I have faked it for five years. What should I do? What do you think she would say if I invited my not boyfriend to join in? -- NOT THAT EXCITED IN COLORADO


This is the unedited letter he almost sent.
2013-04-04 01:36:41 PM
1 votes:
Dear Abby, my girlfriend has huge implants and walks around the house topless all the time. I find it a turn off. Do I have a penis?

Apparently not.

24.media.tumblr.com
2013-04-04 06:03:37 AM
1 votes:
2013-04-04 12:03:46 AM
1 votes:

Banned on the Run: Hooray
for
small
ones
(all
are
NSFW)


Yowza.  There's a reason you and Omahawg are in my favs.  The Stealth Hippopotamus is gonna make that list.  There's room. There's also EIP.

/Yowza
2013-04-03 07:26:50 PM
1 votes:
Goodness.
I love women.
So many delightful variations...shape, size, color...hair, eyes...
Happy sigh.


EIP, if it matters.
2013-04-03 03:27:31 PM
1 votes:

letrole: Anyone who claims to prefer girls with small breasts also tends to:

1. Own a TV but haven't turned it on in years
2. Drink microbrewery beer
3. Watch Japanese children's cartoons on a Mac
4. Appreciate the warmth of vinyl phonograph records
5. Read books at Starbucks
6. Ride a bike to work wearing spandex stretch trousers
7. Make snide remarks about Wal-Mart.
8. Walk past a smoker and force pretentious coughing noises
9. Take comfort in believing size doesn't matter
10. Feign disgust at the idea of eating a Big Mac


Anybody who posts the same list verbatim in multiple boob threads also tends to:
1.  Have seen one set of boobs in their life, which happened to be big.
2.  Secretly fantasize about small-chested girls, but is afraid of owning up to it because they think it makes them a little gay.
3.  Not know what nipples are for.
4.  Spend a fair amount of spare time practicing the one handed bra unhook technique for the day it will finally come in handy.
5.  Think motorboating is the height of physical comedy.
6.  Took notes during the "bag of sand" scene from 40 Year Old Virgin.
7.  Has wear marks on the "Ctrl", "C", and "V" keys on their keyboard.
8.  Sides with Carlos Mencia in the whole Joe Rogan debacle.
9.  Repeats themselves a lot.
10.  Repeats themselves a lot.
2013-04-03 03:25:44 PM
1 votes:

Girion47: drjekel_mrhyde: Let me add a bit of color to this thread [i.imgur.com image 216x234]
[i.imgur.com image 460x700]
[i.imgur.com image 500x649]

Damn, I want more pics of all three



You want a little NSFW color?
2013-04-03 03:03:37 PM
1 votes:

DROxINxTHExWIND: Nurglitch: buckeyebrain: This is not a bookmark.

Nope.

You're going to log on to a computer and spank it to still photos? What is this, 1993?

/cause if it is, somebody please kill Dick Cheney before he's unleashed on the world.


Nope. You scroll through this thread and keep saying "daaamn.... DAMN!!!!" until you have to relieve yourself with videos. These threads kind of set the mood for me... the young, fit, black women pictures stole it for me.
2013-04-03 02:54:46 PM
1 votes:
img9.imageshack.us

Not huge, just really really nice
2013-04-03 02:53:55 PM
1 votes:
It took me a minute, but I figured out how this could happen to this guy...

1. He sees a girl with large breasts who he finds attractive.
2. He dates her for a few weeks, has sex and finds out the breasts are fake.
3. He may have developed feelings for her at that point, and didn't want to hurt her feelings by telling her he hates fake breasts.

Now there's a problem which both of them caused. She had fake breasts (false advertising), when he found out the truth, he either felt he was being shallow, didn't want to hurt her feelings, or he was just plain shallow.

To the ladies in this thread, if you are confused about how guys in this thread speak about hating fake breasts and how it still seems that guys in the real world are attracted to women with fake breasts, here's your answer. -Sometimes we can't tell, and even when we can, sometimes there are no better options.

e.g. not a single guy in this thread would have turned down a night with Pamela Anderson when she had fake tits. They certainly would have preferred them to be real, and they probably would have preferred a version of her with smaller, *real* tits. But the truth is if two identical twins were next to each other and one *appeared* to have legitimately larger breasts, who do you think will get the attention?

It's the same thing as wearing a fake Rolex for a guy on a date... He *appears* rich and seems nice, so a girl agrees to go on a date with him. If she later finds out the watch is fake, can she leave without being judged or feeling bad about herself when she finds out he's a school teacher?
2013-04-03 02:32:17 PM
1 votes:

Banned on the Run: [i216.photobucket.com image 700x998]


I'm sorry, but as a female with naturally large breasts, those just look painful.

Pushed WAAAY too high, too out, too everything. Ouch.
2013-04-03 02:23:38 PM
1 votes:
Pair of boobies, different sizes and not even ...


ibc.lynxeds.com
2013-04-03 02:21:04 PM
1 votes:

HaywoodJablonski: Luckily my wife has natural d's. your argument is invalid.

Fake tits are good if you had one lopped off or were flat as a board. Otherwise, the sensations you get and the reactions they illicit are much more valuable.

I wish more women weren't insecure dopes


Some women are with assholes who say things like "My boner would last longer if you got implants, babe." and they believe them. Plus there is an issue where breasts all seem to be categorised as large or small, with no in between. There's a lot of women who think unless they hit the D mark, theirs are small and inferior. It convinces women with 34C breasts they are flat as a board. C is medium and very proportional in most cases.
2013-04-03 02:16:05 PM
1 votes:
Fake boobs are nasty.  They feel artificial when you squeeze 'em and the just look weird.

Of course, there are plenty of weird natural boobs but...
2013-04-03 02:16:04 PM
1 votes:
i.imgur.com
i.imgur.com
i.imgur.com
That seems about right
2013-04-03 02:15:16 PM
1 votes:
i48.tinypic.com

Throw a couple of nipples on those, and you can take her dancing.
2013-04-03 02:15:04 PM
1 votes:
My room mate walks around with his huge nuts hanging out; farking disgusting
2013-04-03 02:10:50 PM
1 votes:
Add me to the list of guys who hate implants.

They look awful.
2013-04-03 02:08:02 PM
1 votes:

parasol: farkette here

keep going, please, "real is ok" farkers



I think you'll find most guys who are old enough to drive prefer real breasts of any size to fake breasts of any size.

/my wife's are big and real
//so are mine
2013-04-03 02:07:14 PM
1 votes:
Are there actually women who don't go topless at home?
2013-04-03 02:06:43 PM
1 votes:

95629: I'm with this dude.  Fake boobs look better in clothes, real boobs look better out of clothes.  I'd take small real ones over big fake ones any day.

Boobs are great.  Half spheres of silicone with oddly placed nipples on them aren't.


Look, this guy met her after they were put in. He met her with after market add ons. She feels good enough about herself to let em out. That's on him.

But I have known women who had offsetting sizes and felt awful about themselves. Getting those fixed would have been a wonderous and momentous moment in their lives. I don't blame her for doing what she is doing.
2013-04-03 02:04:28 PM
1 votes:

parasol: farkette here

keep going, please, "real is ok" farkers

i've been thinking of skipping a double date this weekend over insecurity - her fakes in clothes outshine my own - its difficult if half the dinner party are focused on one quarter of it

B cup - don't care, usually


Continue not caring. B cups can be great. Be happy with them. If your date is staring at your friend's chest all night, the problem isn't with you.
2013-04-03 02:04:18 PM
1 votes:
My wife has a beautiful looking pair of B-cups. Although my son did a number on them during his infancy, I still do not skip the chance to latch onto them like a lamprey. She wants to get the surgery done and I am loosing the fight. I hope she reconsiders, I love em natural.
2013-04-03 02:01:28 PM
1 votes:
img442.imageshack.us
2013-04-03 02:00:36 PM
1 votes:
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
2013-04-03 01:58:44 PM
1 votes:
img585.imageshack.us
2013-04-03 01:58:29 PM
1 votes:
I find that the smaller ones are more fun. The ex has triple g's, and that is just to much. another ex had b's, if she was lucky. The smaller ones are more sensitive, overall, and I never thought I was going to drown when she was on top. The back problems for the large-bosomed ex were starting to kick in, while the smaller chested gf had energy to burn.

/except for the age difference, I'd still be with the flat-chested woman
//we could talk for hours, ignoring the powered of TV
///should have kept that one. dammit.
2013-04-03 01:56:46 PM
1 votes:
I have no sympathy for this guy.
2013-04-03 01:54:51 PM
1 votes:
i216.photobucket.com
2013-04-03 01:54:50 PM
1 votes:
"Dear Abby, my girlfriend got me to pay for basketballs to be implanted into her chest. Her nipples now resemble pancakes run over by a tanker truck, and skin is starting to rip. I am afraid they will suddenly pop off and explod on the floor like two alien blanc manges before she can take off with the tribal tattooed gym douchebag of her dreams."
2013-04-03 01:52:44 PM
1 votes:
i216.photobucket.com
2013-04-03 01:50:09 PM
1 votes:

Some 'Splainin' To Do: Nadie_AZ: DEAR ABBY: Before we met, my girlfriend got large breast implants. I think they're a terrible turn-off as I am very gay, but I don't know how to tell her. Should I try to overlook this because I love her and am a Republican state representative, or can I tell her the truth about why our love life is sometimes not so hot? I have known her long enough that the next step is marriage -- or nothing.

She walks around the house bare-chested and obviously thinks I find her breasts a big turn-on. I have faked it for five years. What should I do? What do you think she would say if I invited my not boyfriend to join in? -- NOT THAT EXCITED IN COLORADO

This is the unedited letter he almost sent.

Let he who has not seen a horrifically bad boob job cast the first implant.


http://www.heavy.com/comedy/celebrities/2010/02/the-20-worst-boob-jo bs /  NSFW probably... def not safe for lunch
2013-04-03 01:48:28 PM
1 votes:
Look great, feel like shiat.
2013-04-03 01:46:42 PM
1 votes:
i25.photobucket.com
2013-04-03 01:46:12 PM
1 votes:
sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net
2013-04-03 01:44:25 PM
1 votes:
no
2013-04-03 01:32:31 PM
1 votes:
Pics or it never happened
 
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