If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Yahoo)   Dear Abby, my girlfriend has huge implants and walks around the house topless all the time. I find it a turn off. Do I have a penis?   (news.yahoo.com) divider line 510
    More: Amusing, Abigail Van Buren, breast implants, Jeanne Phillips, Pauline Phillips, loving relationships, Turn-on, Upstate New York, girlfriend  
•       •       •

22870 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Apr 2013 at 1:41 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



510 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-04-03 02:46:32 PM  
i1076.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-03 02:46:39 PM  

parasol: farkette here
keep going, please, "real is ok" farkers


Not to sound entirely blatant, but I'm gonna say "Feel free to provide .JPEG encouragement".

i've been thinking of skipping a double date this weekend over insecurity - her fakes in clothes outshine my own - its difficult if half the dinner party are focused on one quarter of it

If they're that big to distract from a perky, natural, bouncy...<drool>...Lemme rephrase.
Don't worry about it.  You'll be fine.  Really.  I'll be in my bunk, etc..

B cup - don't care, usually

Look, if it comes down to a wet t-shirt competition at the dinner party, well, ok, you *may* come in second.

/but *everybody* is a winner if that happens.
 
2013-04-03 02:46:50 PM  

Some 'Splainin' To Do: Nadie_AZ: DEAR ABBY: Before we met, my girlfriend got large breast implants. I think they're a terrible turn-off as I am very gay, but I don't know how to tell her. Should I try to overlook this because I love her and am a Republican state representative, or can I tell her the truth about why our love life is sometimes not so hot? I have known her long enough that the next step is marriage -- or nothing.

She walks around the house bare-chested and obviously thinks I find her breasts a big turn-on. I have faked it for five years. What should I do? What do you think she would say if I invited my not boyfriend to join in? -- NOT THAT EXCITED IN COLORADO

This is the unedited letter he almost sent.

Let he who has not seen a horrifically bad boob job cast the first implant.


I saw a north south job once.... one nipple looked north the other looked south.


/it still haunts me
//pay for quality girls
///your boobs are important to us
 
2013-04-03 02:46:54 PM  
img839.imageshack.us
 
2MS
2013-04-03 02:47:00 PM  
t3.gstatic.com
t3.gstatic.com
t3.gstatic.com
t0.gstatic.com
Just to show that I'm not racist
 
2013-04-03 02:47:29 PM  
img811.imageshack.us
 
2013-04-03 02:47:32 PM  
 
2013-04-03 02:47:35 PM  
"Before we met, my girlfriend got large breast implants."

This is the same guy who sends dinner back to the kitchen because the presentation isn't right.

"I have known men to fall in love by light so dim they would not choose a suit by it."
 
2013-04-03 02:48:06 PM  
img4.imageshack.us

SUPER TITS!
 
2013-04-03 02:48:21 PM  

jfivealive: I'm pretty sure i wouldn't mind tits.  In fact, tits are great.  All kinds of tits.  Doesn't matter.  Big tits, little tits, floppy tits, perky tits, hell even back tits if the nipples are drawn on properly.  You really just can't go wrong with tits.  I mean really, who doesn't love a nice pair of Bazooms,Beacons, Beanbags, Bebops, Betty Boops, Big Boppers, Bikini Stuffers, Billibongs, Blinkers, Bombers, Bombshells, Bon Bons, Bongos, Bonkers, Boobers, Boobies, Boobs, Boops, Bops, Bosom, Boulders, Bouncers, Bra Buddies, Bra Stuffers, Breasts, Bronskis, Bubbas, Bubbies, Buds, Bulbs, Bulges, Bullets, Bumpers, Bumps, Bust, Busters, Busties, Butterballs, Buttons, Caboodles, Cams, Cannon Balls, Cantaloupes, Carumbas, Cha-chas, Charlies, Chihuahuas, Chimichongas, Chiquitas, Coconuts, Congas, Corkers, Cream Pies, Cuhuangas, Cupcakes, Dingers, Dinghies, Dingos, Dirigibles, Doorknobs, Doozies, Double-Whammies, Dueling Banjos, Dumplings, Dunes, Ear Muffs, Eclairs, Eggplants, Enchiladas, Flapjacks, Flappers, Flesh Bulbs, Fog Lights, Fried Eggs, Fun Bags, Gagas, Garbos, Gazingas, Gazongas, Glands, Globes, Globlets, Gob Stoppers, Gongas, Goombas, Grapefruits, Grillwork, Guavas, Gum Drops, Hand Warmers, Handsets, Head Lamps, Headers, Headlights, Headphones, Headsets, Hefties, Heifers, Hemispheres, Hills, Hindenburgs, Honeydews, Honkers, Hood-Ornaments, Hoohas, Hooters, Hot Cakes, Hottentots, Howitzers, Hubcaps, Huffies, Humdingers, Hush Puppies, ICBMS, Jawbreakers, Jemimas, Jibs, Jobbers, Jugs, Jukes, Jumbos, Kabukis, Kalamazoos, Kazongas, Kazoos, Knobbers, Knockers, Kongas, Kumquats, Lactoids, Lip Fodder, LLamas, Loaves, LobLollies, Love Mellons, Love Muffins, LuLus, Macaroons, Mammaries, Mammies, Mams, Mangos, Marangos, Maraschinos, Marimbas, Mau Maus, Mausers, Meat Loaves, Meatballs, Melons, Milk Cans, Milk Fountains, Milk Shakes, Mmbos, Molehills, Mommas, Mondos, Montain Peaks, Montezumas, Moo Moos, Mother Lodes, Mounds, Muchachas, Muffins, Mulligans, Mushmellons, Nancies, Nectarines, Niblets, Nibs, Nippers, Nippies, Nippleoons, Nippleos, Nips, Nodes, Nodules, Noogies, Nose Cones, Oboes, Oompas, Orbs Apples, Ottomans Balboas, Padding Balloons, Pagodas Bangers, Pair Bangles, Palookas Bassoons, Peaches, Peaks, Pears, Pects, Peepers, Pillows, Pips, Plums, Pointer-Sisters, Points, Pokers, Polygons, Pompoms, Pontoons, Potatoes, PT Boats, Pumpkins, Rangoons, Rib Cushions, Sandbags, Satellites, Scones, Scoops, Set, Shakers, Shebas, Shermans, Shimmies, Silos, Skin Sacks, Skooners, Smoothies, Snuggle Pups, Spark Plugs, Specials, Spheres, Spongecakes, Spuds, Stacks, Stuffing Casabas, Sugar Plums, Sweater Meat, Sweater Puffs, Sweet Rolls, Tahitis, Tamales, Tartugas, Tatas, Tattlers, Teats, Tetons, Thangs, Thingumajigs, Tidbits, Titbits, Tits, Titters Domes, Titties Doodads, Tom-Toms, Tomatoes, Torpedoes, Tortillas, Totos Dugs, Twangers, Tweakers, Tweeters, Twin Peaks, Twofers, Tympanies, U-Boats, Umlauts, Wahwahs, Zeppelins, Zingers


So, whatchu tryin' ta say?
 
2013-04-03 02:48:33 PM  

drjekel_mrhyde: [i.imgur.com image 850x1285]
[i.imgur.com image 450x675]
[i.imgur.com image 478x621]
That seems about right


Mmmm... I'm at a lack of words. But damn...

/hot as the sun
 
2013-04-03 02:48:50 PM  
i216.photobucket.com
 
2MS
2013-04-03 02:49:07 PM  

DirkTheDaring: Assorted NSFW


And the King has arrived!!
 
2013-04-03 02:50:51 PM  
img546.imageshack.us
 
2013-04-03 02:50:54 PM  
i216.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-03 02:51:28 PM  
img194.imageshack.us
 
2013-04-03 02:51:49 PM  

DROxINxTHExWIND: Nurglitch: buckeyebrain: This is not a bookmark.

Nope.

You're going to log on to a computer and spank it to still photos? What is this, 1993?

/cause if it is, somebody please kill Dick Cheney before he's unleashed on the world.


The nice thing about still photos is that they don't randomly cut to

1) a close up of some dude's hairy asshole

2) a close up of said dude making his O face for twenty seconds

and don't feature some barely functional mouthbreathing foreigner dude narrating everything


Also I can photoshop Martha Stewart's face on the gal, and not have to fark around with tracking everything in After Effects.
 
2013-04-03 02:52:05 PM  
i216.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-03 02:52:05 PM  
img803.imageshack.us
 
2013-04-03 02:52:40 PM  
img827.imageshack.us
 
2013-04-03 02:52:49 PM  
This is not a bookmark, nor is it a request for BIE.

/I do have EIP though
 
2013-04-03 02:52:52 PM  
"too", not to. Oops.
 
2013-04-03 02:53:15 PM  
img163.imageshack.us
 
2013-04-03 02:53:35 PM  
i216.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-03 02:53:49 PM  
How is bookmark formed?
 
2013-04-03 02:53:53 PM  
img833.imageshack.us
 
2MS
2013-04-03 02:53:55 PM  
t1.gstatic.com
t2.gstatic.com
t0.gstatic.com
t0.gstatic.com
 
2013-04-03 02:53:55 PM  
It took me a minute, but I figured out how this could happen to this guy...

1. He sees a girl with large breasts who he finds attractive.
2. He dates her for a few weeks, has sex and finds out the breasts are fake.
3. He may have developed feelings for her at that point, and didn't want to hurt her feelings by telling her he hates fake breasts.

Now there's a problem which both of them caused. She had fake breasts (false advertising), when he found out the truth, he either felt he was being shallow, didn't want to hurt her feelings, or he was just plain shallow.

To the ladies in this thread, if you are confused about how guys in this thread speak about hating fake breasts and how it still seems that guys in the real world are attracted to women with fake breasts, here's your answer. -Sometimes we can't tell, and even when we can, sometimes there are no better options.

e.g. not a single guy in this thread would have turned down a night with Pamela Anderson when she had fake tits. They certainly would have preferred them to be real, and they probably would have preferred a version of her with smaller, *real* tits. But the truth is if two identical twins were next to each other and one *appeared* to have legitimately larger breasts, who do you think will get the attention?

It's the same thing as wearing a fake Rolex for a guy on a date... He *appears* rich and seems nice, so a girl agrees to go on a date with him. If she later finds out the watch is fake, can she leave without being judged or feeling bad about herself when she finds out he's a school teacher?
 
2013-04-03 02:54:15 PM  

CleanAndPure: Fyi:

Large natural > small natural > small fake > completely flat > large fake


I saw almost all of Mr. Holland Groped Us the other night on PPV, so I am pretty much an expert on this topic. You're right.
 
2013-04-03 02:54:22 PM  

Nadie_AZ: DEAR ABBY: Before we met, my girlfriend got large breast implants. I think they're a terrible turn-off as I am very gay, but I don't know how to tell her. Should I try to overlook this because I love her and am a Republican state representative, or can I tell her the truth about why our love life is sometimes not so hot? I have known her long enough that the next step is marriage -- or nothing.

She walks around the house bare-chested and obviously thinks I find her breasts a big turn-on. I have faked it for five years. What should I do? What do you think she would say if I invited my not boyfriend to join in? -- NOT THAT EXCITED IN COLORADO

This is the unedited letter he almost sent.


All that effort for so little; well NO funny at all.
 
2013-04-03 02:54:39 PM  
i216.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-03 02:54:46 PM  
img9.imageshack.us

Not huge, just really really nice
 
2013-04-03 02:55:26 PM  
img825.imageshack.us
 
2013-04-03 02:56:01 PM  
I dare any of you who are in an office to stand straight up right now with female co-workers present.

/Bonus if you have on slacks or (for some reason) sweatpants.
 
2013-04-03 02:56:05 PM  
 
RnR
2013-04-03 02:57:06 PM  
this is not a bookmark. EIP just incase. Threads like this make me forget that I'm just a lurker.
 
2013-04-03 02:57:20 PM  
img607.imageshack.us
 
2013-04-03 02:57:58 PM  
img571.imageshack.us
 
2013-04-03 02:58:34 PM  
img13.imageshack.us
 
2013-04-03 02:59:24 PM  
img802.imageshack.us
 
2013-04-03 03:00:19 PM  
I saw this today, and I wondered when there would be an appropriate opportunity to link to it.

Fark did not let me down.

/Audio might not be safe for work, use headphones
 
2013-04-03 03:01:05 PM  
Tits are tits, fake or real I don't care

I just want to touch them ladies, gentle like and in a non creepy way. So pay no attention to the five gallon bucket of lube, rubber gloves, and a house plant I have here
 
2013-04-03 03:01:42 PM  
I have to know the lady is happy inside her own skin. Big fakes are usually a warning sign of other issues.
 
2013-04-03 03:01:50 PM  
img580.imageshack.us
 
2013-04-03 03:02:30 PM  
img6.imageshack.us
 
2013-04-03 03:02:45 PM  
I completely agree with him. Unnaturally large implants are incredibly unappealing.
 
2013-04-03 03:03:10 PM  
img268.imageshack.us
 
2MS
2013-04-03 03:03:11 PM  
imageshack.us
imageshack.us
imageshack.us
imageshack.us
 
2013-04-03 03:03:21 PM  

gunther_bumpass: DROxINxTHExWIND: Nurglitch: buckeyebrain: This is not a bookmark.

Nope.

You're going to log on to a computer and spank it to still photos? What is this, 1993?

/cause if it is, somebody please kill Dick Cheney before he's unleashed on the world.

The nice thing about still photos is that they don't randomly cut to1) a close up of some dude's hairy asshole2) a close up of said dude making his O face for twenty secondsand don't feature some barely functional mouthbreathing foreigner dude narrating everything


...or worst of all, the close-up of the penis pumping into the vagina. *TMI* Believe me, I get it. I, too like to be the star of my own fantasy. But the internet has a wide variety of naked women who do things...TO THEMSELVES! I encourage you to explore for yourself.
 
2013-04-03 03:03:37 PM  

DROxINxTHExWIND: Nurglitch: buckeyebrain: This is not a bookmark.

Nope.

You're going to log on to a computer and spank it to still photos? What is this, 1993?

/cause if it is, somebody please kill Dick Cheney before he's unleashed on the world.


Nope. You scroll through this thread and keep saying "daaamn.... DAMN!!!!" until you have to relieve yourself with videos. These threads kind of set the mood for me... the young, fit, black women pictures stole it for me.
 
Displayed 50 of 510 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report