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(Yahoo)   Dear Abby, my girlfriend has huge implants and walks around the house topless all the time. I find it a turn off. Do I have a penis?   (news.yahoo.com) divider line 510
    More: Amusing, Abigail Van Buren, breast implants, Jeanne Phillips, Pauline Phillips, loving relationships, Turn-on, Upstate New York, girlfriend  
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22845 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Apr 2013 at 1:41 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



510 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-04-03 01:59:20 PM
img197.imageshack.us
 
2013-04-03 01:59:31 PM

MrSteve007: drewogatory: Fake tits almost always look better in clothes than out of them. And unless you are a cancer survivor it screams insecure attention whore - stay far,far away.

Two instant "will-not-date" requirements for me: 1. She's a smoker. 2. She's got implants.

They don't feel right, look right, jiggle right, and about half the time, there's very gross scarring.


If she smokes she pokes.
 
2013-04-03 01:59:37 PM

parasol: farkette here

keep going, please, "real is ok" farkers

i've been thinking of skipping a double date this weekend over insecurity - her fakes in clothes outshine my own - its difficult if half the dinner party are focused on one quarter of it

B cup - don't care, usually


I would be glad to take you out, and pay you all of my attention.
 
2013-04-03 01:59:39 PM
encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
 
2013-04-03 01:59:40 PM
She walks around the house bare-chested

Anyone got an address?
 
2013-04-03 02:00:08 PM
img109.imageshack.us
 
2013-04-03 02:00:36 PM
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
 
2013-04-03 02:00:50 PM
img594.imageshack.us
 
2013-04-03 02:00:51 PM
real or fake? (SFW gif)
here's another

i216.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-03 02:01:07 PM
Love the "If you don't drool over silicone hemispheres that look terrible, barely move, and stand up like oranges were stuffed into them, then you're a flaming queer!" mentality.

I'm sorry, I like NATURAL breasts. Ones that look and move and feel like breasts should, not like bags of gelatin minerals that stretch flesh and prevent movement.
 
2013-04-03 02:01:23 PM
I'm pretty sure, fake boobs or not, if you've been lying to your girlfriend about your attraction to her for five years, you probably have larger issues.
 
2013-04-03 02:01:28 PM
img442.imageshack.us
 
2013-04-03 02:01:43 PM
CleanAndPure:

Large natural > small natural > small fake > completely flat > large fake

You don't say much my friend, but when you do it's to the point, and I salute you for it.  

media.sdreader.com
 
2013-04-03 02:01:48 PM

lobotomy survivor: Banned on the Run: [i216.photobucket.com image 700x998]

The label on the boxing bag is artfully cropped.


Yes, well done.
 
2013-04-03 02:02:03 PM
img856.imageshack.us
 
2013-04-03 02:02:27 PM

Silly Jesus: [encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com image 284x177]


Dude. That is not appreciated.

The Stealth Hippopotamus: [img109.imageshack.us image 499x940]


This is how it is done.
 
2013-04-03 02:03:25 PM
Meh, my ex had naturally massive breasts, and I have to agree for the most part - they were a turn off.

Granted, they were so big that they caused her pain to be topless, so she walked around bottomless instead.  I was as happy as a clam.  er....
 
2013-04-03 02:03:36 PM
I'm using this post as a bookmark because I enjoy reading the intelligent online debate regarding natural vs. augmented breasts and wish to return later.  BIE EIP
 
2013-04-03 02:03:37 PM
Not a bookmark.
 
2013-04-03 02:03:42 PM
ty BravoTwo - that was kind and made for a smile -
 
2013-04-03 02:03:44 PM
Actually, yes, you do have a penis, you're just not attracted to Tupperware. It's not right, it's not wrong. To each his own.

*Cough* homo.
 
2MS [TotalFark]
2013-04-03 02:03:51 PM

parasol: farkette here

keep going, please, "real is ok" farkers

i've been thinking of skipping a double date this weekend over insecurity - her fakes in clothes outshine my own - its difficult if half the dinner party are focused on one quarter of it

B cup - don't care, usually


Don't be insecure. Be your real self and have fun. As has been pointed out above, fakes usually look great in clothes, but in IMO reals are more sensitive and fun.
/first wife was A cup---and wonderful
//other wife was b natural, and upped to DD fake---terrible.
///the choices we make....
 
2013-04-03 02:04:18 PM
My wife has a beautiful looking pair of B-cups. Although my son did a number on them during his infancy, I still do not skip the chance to latch onto them like a lamprey. She wants to get the surgery done and I am loosing the fight. I hope she reconsiders, I love em natural.
 
2013-04-03 02:04:28 PM

parasol: farkette here

keep going, please, "real is ok" farkers

i've been thinking of skipping a double date this weekend over insecurity - her fakes in clothes outshine my own - its difficult if half the dinner party are focused on one quarter of it

B cup - don't care, usually


Continue not caring. B cups can be great. Be happy with them. If your date is staring at your friend's chest all night, the problem isn't with you.
 
2013-04-03 02:04:59 PM

drewogatory: Fake tits almost always look better in clothes than out of them.


This.

The letter writer is out of his farking mind if he thinks telling her he doesn't like them will lead to anything but a messy break-up or a violent assault.

He should tell her he's turned on by costumes or lingerie or something else that minimizes or masks the alien implant cleavage.
 
2013-04-03 02:05:05 PM
s3.amazonaws.com
 
2013-04-03 02:05:12 PM
I'm pretty sure i wouldn't mind tits.  In fact, tits are great.  All kinds of tits.  Doesn't matter.  Big tits, little tits, floppy tits, perky tits, hell even back tits if the nipples are drawn on properly.  You really just can't go wrong with tits.  I mean really, who doesn't love a nice pair of Bazooms,Beacons, Beanbags, Bebops, Betty Boops, Big Boppers, Bikini Stuffers, Billibongs, Blinkers, Bombers, Bombshells, Bon Bons, Bongos, Bonkers, Boobers, Boobies, Boobs, Boops, Bops, Bosom, Boulders, Bouncers, Bra Buddies, Bra Stuffers, Breasts, Bronskis, Bubbas, Bubbies, Buds, Bulbs, Bulges, Bullets, Bumpers, Bumps, Bust, Busters, Busties, Butterballs, Buttons, Caboodles, Cams, Cannon Balls, Cantaloupes, Carumbas, Cha-chas, Charlies, Chihuahuas, Chimichongas, Chiquitas, Coconuts, Congas, Corkers, Cream Pies, Cuhuangas, Cupcakes, Dingers, Dinghies, Dingos, Dirigibles, Doorknobs, Doozies, Double-Whammies, Dueling Banjos, Dumplings, Dunes, Ear Muffs, Eclairs, Eggplants, Enchiladas, Flapjacks, Flappers, Flesh Bulbs, Fog Lights, Fried Eggs, Fun Bags, Gagas, Garbos, Gazingas, Gazongas, Glands, Globes, Globlets, Gob Stoppers, Gongas, Goombas, Grapefruits, Grillwork, Guavas, Gum Drops, Hand Warmers, Handsets, Head Lamps, Headers, Headlights, Headphones, Headsets, Hefties, Heifers, Hemispheres, Hills, Hindenburgs, Honeydews, Honkers, Hood-Ornaments, Hoohas, Hooters, Hot Cakes, Hottentots, Howitzers, Hubcaps, Huffies, Humdingers, Hush Puppies, ICBMS, Jawbreakers, Jemimas, Jibs, Jobbers, Jugs, Jukes, Jumbos, Kabukis, Kalamazoos, Kazongas, Kazoos, Knobbers, Knockers, Kongas, Kumquats, Lactoids, Lip Fodder, LLamas, Loaves, LobLollies, Love Mellons, Love Muffins, LuLus, Macaroons, Mammaries, Mammies, Mams, Mangos, Marangos, Maraschinos, Marimbas, Mau Maus, Mausers, Meat Loaves, Meatballs, Melons, Milk Cans, Milk Fountains, Milk Shakes, Mmbos, Molehills, Mommas, Mondos, Montain Peaks, Montezumas, Moo Moos, Mother Lodes, Mounds, Muchachas, Muffins, Mulligans, Mushmellons, Nancies, Nectarines, Niblets, Nibs, Nippers, Nippies, Nippleoons, Nippleos, Nips, Nodes, Nodules, Noogies, Nose Cones, Oboes, Oompas, Orbs Apples, Ottomans Balboas, Padding Balloons, Pagodas Bangers, Pair Bangles, Palookas Bassoons, Peaches, Peaks, Pears, Pects, Peepers, Pillows, Pips, Plums, Pointer-Sisters, Points, Pokers, Polygons, Pompoms, Pontoons, Potatoes, PT Boats, Pumpkins, Rangoons, Rib Cushions, Sandbags, Satellites, Scones, Scoops, Set, Shakers, Shebas, Shermans, Shimmies, Silos, Skin Sacks, Skooners, Smoothies, Snuggle Pups, Spark Plugs, Specials, Spheres, Spongecakes, Spuds, Stacks, Stuffing Casabas, Sugar Plums, Sweater Meat, Sweater Puffs, Sweet Rolls, Tahitis, Tamales, Tartugas, Tatas, Tattlers, Teats, Tetons, Thangs, Thingumajigs, Tidbits, Titbits, Tits, Titters Domes, Titties Doodads, Tom-Toms, Tomatoes, Torpedoes, Tortillas, Totos Dugs, Twangers, Tweakers, Tweeters, Twin Peaks, Twofers, Tympanies, U-Boats, Umlauts, Wahwahs, Zeppelins, Zingers
 
2013-04-03 02:05:18 PM

parasol: farkette here

keep going, please, "real is ok" farkers

i've been thinking of skipping a double date this weekend over insecurity - her fakes in clothes outshine my own - its difficult if half the dinner party are focused on one quarter of it

B cup - don't care, usually


Most guys care about, in increasing order of importance:
Size
Shape
Natural
Access
 
2013-04-03 02:05:39 PM
www.trollmania.org
i280.photobucket.com
i280.photobucket.com
i280.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-03 02:05:45 PM
what are you going to complain about next, all the money you spend on peroxide and fake tanner you spend on her too?

/totally
 
2013-04-03 02:06:30 PM
He should wake around nude with one of those giant plastic dicks that cover your dick for about a week and see what she say.
/I rather for her to have good head and sex than big tits and a big arse
 
2013-04-03 02:06:43 PM

95629: I'm with this dude.  Fake boobs look better in clothes, real boobs look better out of clothes.  I'd take small real ones over big fake ones any day.

Boobs are great.  Half spheres of silicone with oddly placed nipples on them aren't.


Look, this guy met her after they were put in. He met her with after market add ons. She feels good enough about herself to let em out. That's on him.

But I have known women who had offsetting sizes and felt awful about themselves. Getting those fixed would have been a wonderous and momentous moment in their lives. I don't blame her for doing what she is doing.
 
2013-04-03 02:07:14 PM
Are there actually women who don't go topless at home?
 
2013-04-03 02:07:49 PM
img4.imageshack.us
 
2013-04-03 02:08:00 PM

parasol: farkette here

keep going, please, "real is ok" farkers

i've been thinking of skipping a double date this weekend over insecurity - her fakes in clothes outshine my own - its difficult if half the dinner party are focused on one quarter of it

B cup - don't care, usually


Oh, and you'll have to post pics so we can assuage you of your insecurity
 
2013-04-03 02:08:02 PM

parasol: farkette here

keep going, please, "real is ok" farkers



I think you'll find most guys who are old enough to drive prefer real breasts of any size to fake breasts of any size.

/my wife's are big and real
//so are mine
 
2013-04-03 02:08:57 PM

nocturnal001: Always odd that Fark is the place where all the people who hate fake boobs congregate.  Not just prefer real ones, but hate fakes with some sort of passion.

Any real boob is better than any fake?  I guess you guys have never seen good fakes or bad real ones.

There are plenty of posts above that seem like most would love fake boobs
 
2013-04-03 02:09:13 PM

nocturnal001: Always odd that Fark is the place where all the people who hate fake boobs congregate.  Not just prefer real ones, but hate fakes with some sort of passion.

Any real boob is better than any fake?  I guess you guys have never seen good fakes or bad real ones.


My rule is that they are real if you can touch them.
 
2013-04-03 02:09:40 PM
i like teh boobies
 
2013-04-03 02:09:47 PM
img837.imageshack.us
 
2013-04-03 02:10:24 PM
img5.imageshack.us
 
2013-04-03 02:10:30 PM

The Stealth Hippopotamus: [img837.imageshack.us image 720x960]


Is that one real?

/good job, btw
 
2013-04-03 02:10:39 PM

parasol: farkette here

keep going, please, "real is ok" farkers

i've been thinking of skipping a double date this weekend over insecurity - her fakes in clothes outshine my own - its difficult if half the dinner party are focused on one quarter of it

B cup - don't care, usually


I think you're taking the wrong angle here.  I much prefer real breasts, and I've been out on a double date where one of the girls seriously looked like a real life barbie doll, fake breasts included.  Yes, half of the group couldn't stop staring (myself included) at one quarter of the group, but it's not because her fakes "outshine" real breasts.  It's because the girl liked to show them off, which meant perking them up with a bra and showing them off with a tiny tight dress.  They're just farking out there and seriously hard to ignore.  You could do the same thing with B cup real breasts if you wanted to.

Don't skip the dinner party because she will outshine you.  Skip the dinner party because it doesn't seem like it would be fun.  I think my date still had fun when I went on the double date.  I mean there were actual attempts at non-breast centric conversation.
 
2013-04-03 02:10:50 PM
Add me to the list of guys who hate implants.

They look awful.
 
2013-04-03 02:10:59 PM
img35.imageshack.us
 
2013-04-03 02:11:15 PM
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-04-03 02:11:24 PM
Horrible fakes are worse than no tits at all.
 
2013-04-03 02:11:55 PM
img94.imageshack.us
 
2013-04-03 02:12:08 PM

parasol: farkette here

keep going, please, "real is ok" farkers

i've been thinking of skipping a double date this weekend over insecurity - her fakes in clothes outshine my own - its difficult if half the dinner party are focused on one quarter of it

B cup - don't care, usually


Ignore it.

Some women look great with big boobs.  Some look great with small boobs.  I've seen body shapes I wouldn't like with bigger boobs.  I've seen body shapes that would be amazing either way.  I've seen girls that could be better if their tits were bigger, or smaller; going and messing with it by pulling out the power tools still seems stupid.

Yeah, I don't like your tits.  But whatever.  It's a woman, not a sandwich.
 
2013-04-03 02:12:12 PM

nocturnal001: Any real boob is better than any fake?


No.

Generally speaking, soda with sugar or HFCS tastes better than soda with phenylalanine and aspartame, but Diet Coke is obviously going to taste better than a naturally-sweetened, feces-based beverage.
 
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