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(Yahoo)   Dear Abby, my girlfriend has huge implants and walks around the house topless all the time. I find it a turn off. Do I have a penis?   (news.yahoo.com) divider line 510
    More: Amusing, Abigail Van Buren, breast implants, Jeanne Phillips, Pauline Phillips, loving relationships, Turn-on, Upstate New York, girlfriend  
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22869 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Apr 2013 at 1:41 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



510 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-04-03 01:30:39 PM  
www.fugly.com
 
2013-04-03 01:32:31 PM  
Pics or it never happened
 
2013-04-03 01:35:44 PM  
DEAR ABBY: Before we met, my girlfriend got large breast implants. I think they're a terrible turn-off as I am very gay, but I don't know how to tell her. Should I try to overlook this because I love her and am a Republican state representative, or can I tell her the truth about why our love life is sometimes not so hot? I have known her long enough that the next step is marriage -- or nothing.

She walks around the house bare-chested and obviously thinks I find her breasts a big turn-on. I have faked it for five years. What should I do? What do you think she would say if I invited my not boyfriend to join in? -- NOT THAT EXCITED IN COLORADO


This is the unedited letter he almost sent.
 
2013-04-03 01:43:11 PM  
I read that in my paper today and the part that stuck out to me was " Before we met, my girlfriend got large breast implants. I think they're a terrible turn-off "
 
2013-04-03 01:43:49 PM  
 
2013-04-03 01:43:52 PM  
there comes a point when their size makes them resemble the shaking love handles of a fat man though.
 
2013-04-03 01:44:23 PM  
If Dear Abby comes to your house to answer your question, double tap to the head
 
2013-04-03 01:44:25 PM  
no
 
2013-04-03 01:44:52 PM  

Nadie_AZ: DEAR ABBY: Before we met, my girlfriend got large breast implants. I think they're a terrible turn-off as I am very gay, but I don't know how to tell her. Should I try to overlook this because I love her and am a Republican state representative, or can I tell her the truth about why our love life is sometimes not so hot? I have known her long enough that the next step is marriage -- or nothing.

She walks around the house bare-chested and obviously thinks I find her breasts a big turn-on. I have faked it for five years. What should I do? What do you think she would say if I invited my not boyfriend to join in? -- NOT THAT EXCITED IN COLORADO

This is the unedited letter he almost sent.


You have superior skills at reading between the lines, sir.
 
2013-04-03 01:45:06 PM  
implants suck
 
2013-04-03 01:45:15 PM  
How big? Double-Ds? Fs? Js? Were they built for speed or comfort? Gonna need some pics.
 
2013-04-03 01:45:39 PM  
Fake tits almost always look better in clothes than out of them. And unless you are a cancer survivor it screams insecure attention whore - stay far,far away.
 
2013-04-03 01:46:12 PM  
sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net
 
2013-04-03 01:46:39 PM  
I dunno, implants are pretty gross.
 
2013-04-03 01:46:42 PM  
i25.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-03 01:47:01 PM  

Girion47: implants suck


Cool! I'll take three please!
 
2013-04-03 01:47:20 PM  
So if I prefer natural boobs in whatever size to bolt on large implants that means I'm gay?

The more you know...
 
2013-04-03 01:48:03 PM  
FAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEE

/ 1. Are you sure you have a girlfriend?

2. Is there a easily questioned third party that has observed you two together?

3. Can you prove that this third party exists?
 
2013-04-03 01:48:28 PM  
Look great, feel like shiat.
 
2013-04-03 01:48:30 PM  
Well, crap.  There just went my lunch hour.
 
2013-04-03 01:48:55 PM  

Nadie_AZ: DEAR ABBY: Before we met, my girlfriend got large breast implants. I think they're a terrible turn-off as I am very gay, but I don't know how to tell her. Should I try to overlook this because I love her and am a Republican state representative, or can I tell her the truth about why our love life is sometimes not so hot? I have known her long enough that the next step is marriage -- or nothing.

She walks around the house bare-chested and obviously thinks I find her breasts a big turn-on. I have faked it for five years. What should I do? What do you think she would say if I invited my not boyfriend to join in? -- NOT THAT EXCITED IN COLORADO

This is the unedited letter he almost sent.


Let he who has not seen a horrifically bad boob job cast the first implant.
 
2013-04-03 01:49:36 PM  

under a mountain: [sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net image 758x885]


Thank you.
 
2013-04-03 01:49:38 PM  
She's like, "Tell your girlfriend you like smaller tits and to get smaller implants."

... he said he finds them a turn-off.  He didn't say he found big tits a turn-off.  Maybe he meant he finds fake tits a turn-off and you should have kept your real boobs, because fark.  What is wrong with women anyway?  Fake tits?  When I squeeze them you don't feel shiat, that's so pointless.
 
2013-04-03 01:49:39 PM  

HotWingConspiracy: I dunno, implants are pretty gross.


They're gross, but in the same way that one of those "death by chocolate" desserts is gross. There's like eight forms of chocolate in it, and it's overly sweet and far too rich. But you know goddamn well you're going to plow into it regardless and experience it to its unwholesome fullness. Sometimes, pretty gross is just what you need.
 
2013-04-03 01:49:40 PM  
Fyi:

Large natural > small natural > small fake > completely flat > large fake
 
2013-04-03 01:49:48 PM  
He has the gay.
 
2013-04-03 01:49:50 PM  
 
2013-04-03 01:49:55 PM  
i216.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-03 01:50:03 PM  
I'm not writing a letter to Dear Abby, but when I see implants while doing program research on Cinemax, I only notice the scars and the perfect spheres that stand directly outwards, unaffected by gravity.
 
2013-04-03 01:50:09 PM  

Some 'Splainin' To Do: Nadie_AZ: DEAR ABBY: Before we met, my girlfriend got large breast implants. I think they're a terrible turn-off as I am very gay, but I don't know how to tell her. Should I try to overlook this because I love her and am a Republican state representative, or can I tell her the truth about why our love life is sometimes not so hot? I have known her long enough that the next step is marriage -- or nothing.

She walks around the house bare-chested and obviously thinks I find her breasts a big turn-on. I have faked it for five years. What should I do? What do you think she would say if I invited my not boyfriend to join in? -- NOT THAT EXCITED IN COLORADO

This is the unedited letter he almost sent.

Let he who has not seen a horrifically bad boob job cast the first implant.


http://www.heavy.com/comedy/celebrities/2010/02/the-20-worst-boob-jo bs /  NSFW probably... def not safe for lunch
 
2013-04-03 01:50:47 PM  

drewogatory: Fake tits almost always look better in clothes than out of them. And unless you are a cancer survivor it screams insecure attention whore - stay far,far away.


Two instant "will-not-date" requirements for me: 1. She's a smoker. 2. She's got implants.

They don't feel right, look right, jiggle right, and about half the time, there's very gross scarring.
 
2013-04-03 01:51:17 PM  
i216.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-03 01:51:19 PM  

under a mountain: [sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net image 758x885]


See, natural IS better.
 
2013-04-03 01:51:26 PM  
I'm with this dude.  Fake boobs look better in clothes, real boobs look better out of clothes.  I'd take small real ones over big fake ones any day.

Boobs are great.  Half spheres of silicone with oddly placed nipples on them aren't.
 
2013-04-03 01:52:29 PM  
So, silicone (or saline) implants are "fake" when a woman gets them. But, let a guy get them, along with other "fake" parts, and suddenly, he becomes a "real" woman.

Very interesting.
 
2013-04-03 01:52:44 PM  
i216.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-03 01:53:47 PM  
i216.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-03 01:54:15 PM  
Put me in the "implants, no thanks" group.
 
2013-04-03 01:54:33 PM  
perhaps someone can post a comparison. you know, for science.
 
2013-04-03 01:54:50 PM  
"Dear Abby, my girlfriend got me to pay for basketballs to be implanted into her chest. Her nipples now resemble pancakes run over by a tanker truck, and skin is starting to rip. I am afraid they will suddenly pop off and explod on the floor like two alien blanc manges before she can take off with the tribal tattooed gym douchebag of her dreams."
 
2013-04-03 01:54:51 PM  
i216.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-03 01:55:20 PM  
Some men are turned on by big bags of saltwater or silicone, some aren't.
 
2013-04-03 01:55:50 PM  
It's all fake. I hate my girlfriends tits! I'm gay and want to move to the US! It 2013 and I know nothing about the tattoo craze that started over 20 years ago!

What's this internet? Where's the onion on my belt???
 
2013-04-03 01:56:21 PM  
You can tell if someone never was good with the ladies by their obsession with boobs. Boobs are an afterthought, but look at Fark.... A chick can be 200 pounds, but have watermelon saggy boobs, and be a goddess..

A trim, healthy body beats floppy boobs attached to a potato any day.
 
2013-04-03 01:56:46 PM  
I have no sympathy for this guy.
 
2013-04-03 01:57:19 PM  

Banned on the Run: [i216.photobucket.com image 700x998]


The label on the boxing bag is artfully cropped.
 
2013-04-03 01:58:00 PM  
farkette here

keep going, please, "real is ok" farkers

i've been thinking of skipping a double date this weekend over insecurity - her fakes in clothes outshine my own - its difficult if half the dinner party are focused on one quarter of it

B cup - don't care, usually
 
2013-04-03 01:58:29 PM  
I find that the smaller ones are more fun. The ex has triple g's, and that is just to much. another ex had b's, if she was lucky. The smaller ones are more sensitive, overall, and I never thought I was going to drown when she was on top. The back problems for the large-bosomed ex were starting to kick in, while the smaller chested gf had energy to burn.

/except for the age difference, I'd still be with the flat-chested woman
//we could talk for hours, ignoring the powered of TV
///should have kept that one. dammit.
 
2013-04-03 01:58:44 PM  
img585.imageshack.us
 
2013-04-03 01:59:16 PM  
Always odd that Fark is the place where all the people who hate fake boobs congregate.  Not just prefer real ones, but hate fakes with some sort of passion.

Any real boob is better than any fake?  I guess you guys have never seen good fakes or bad real ones.
 
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