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(io9)   Why movie reboots fail. Reason number 8 is obvioOHGODTHEBEES GETTHEMOFFME   (io9.com) divider line 42
    More: Amusing, movie franchises, Japanese films, Anal-oral sex, giant monsters, Roland Emmerich, Ray Harryhausen, underworlds, Sam Raimi  
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9252 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 03 Apr 2013 at 11:42 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-03 10:06:49 AM
5 votes:
They're all cynical cash grabs based on name recognition and the studio suits' idea that despite movies being more easily accessible than ever, no one would watch a movie prior to 1995 so they all have to be remade?
2013-04-03 12:40:52 PM
3 votes:
Two things:

As a Star Trek fan, I thought the reboot was great.

I hate Julia Roberts.  She can barely act and she is disturbing to look at.
2013-04-03 10:38:48 AM
3 votes:
(Cinches onion tightly on belt) People these days can't be bothered to create, they can only remake.  Hollywood reboots a franchise rather than search for the next franchise, it's safe, cheap and they've taught people this is what they want.  Yet, when you look at the big movers on television, The Walking Dead, Game of Thrones, Mad Men, they are breaking new ground and people are eating it up.  Is this what we have to look forward at the theater in 20 years, a Game of the Throne reboot and Holo 3D Don Drapers?
2013-04-03 06:21:12 PM
2 votes:

Witty_Retort: extroverted_suicide: SurfaceTension: Am I the only one that enjoyed the Star Trek reboot?

I liked it a lot, and still pop it in the DVD player every now and again.  It was a good movie.  I just don't like that they erased all of Star Trek history (except Enterprise) to tell their story.  That was arrogant to the 17th power.

I don't buy the "alternate timeline" explanation.  It every time travel episode of Trek ever, they were always desperate to undo whatever damage the time traveler had wrought.  In Trek '09, Nero goes back in time, destroys most of Starfleet, blows up a Federation founding race, and everyone is just sorta like, "meh".  That didn't sit well with me.  On it's own though, it's a good, fun movie.

That could be the "final" of the new Trek line. They go back and stop Nero and save the Kelvin. Timeline restored.


Into Darkness could be the direction they are going. How cool would it be that, at the end of the 2nd movie, BC's super agent guy has really hurt Star Fleet. In a few years, another ship finds Khan and he actually gets control of it and finds others of his people in stasis and awakens them and 3rd movie is Khan and his genetically modified super soldiers wrecking havoc.
By the end of 3, either Star Fleet or just Kirk decides that this timeline really sucks and spend a movie or 2 getting the McGuffins together to time travel to stop Nero and preemptively collapse the star that will go hyper-nova. (pre-stopping Nero in the prime future)
A final scene where new Kirk sacrifices himself to save his father would be awesome.
/or maybe I'm really over-thinking it
2013-04-03 04:15:40 PM
2 votes:
That was a lot more wirds than needed to say, "Remakes usually suck because they don't fix what was wrong, and they mess up what was right."
2013-04-03 01:58:52 PM
2 votes:
Movies that need remakes or reboots:
Krull
Flash Gordon
Battle Beyond the Stars
Logan's Run
Time Bandits
Ice Pirates
Space Hunter
Dragonslayer
Buck Rogers
Beast Master
Red Sonja
West World
Andromeda Strain
Dark Star
Short Circuit
War Games
The Rocketeer
Dreamscape
Night of the Comet
Megaforce
2013-04-03 01:03:26 PM
2 votes:
I'm waiting for the Prometheus reboot.

I hated the first one.
2013-04-03 12:34:59 PM
2 votes:
Red Dawnmade sense in the '80s

No it didn't.  I mean, it made sense as to why it was made then , but no, that movie never made any sense.
2013-04-03 12:21:21 PM
2 votes:
The new Clash of the Titans was a succes, thanks to the drooling masses of idiots that bought tickets and called it a "good" movie (some still do).

I'll just pick on this one for now.
Liam Neeson sleepwalked through his role.
The movie relied much too heavily on action sequences, which made them feel stale and boring already about half way through.  Let's just examine the "medusa" fight in both old and new films.  Compare the original scene to the new one.
In the original there is an actual feeling of suspense.  It actually puts you on the edge of your seat.  It makes the scene interesting to watch.  The new medusa scene is just ACTION/FIGHT/BLOOD/SOUND/EFFECTS.  For the next battle...repeat formula.  That's just the first example that comes to mind.  I could go on and on.
And in spite of being a horrible movie, somehow the public spent enough of their money on it to warrant a sequel.  jackiechanwtf.jpg
2013-04-03 11:59:02 AM
2 votes:

Saiga410: scottydoesntknow: I really can't think of many reboots I actually liked beyond Dredd, Rise of the PotA, and Amazing Spider-Man

Gone in 60 seconds?  Though I personally prefer the original.


Oh good choice, Gone is one of my favourites, never seen the original.

I will say the 2000 Ocean's Eleven was miles better than the original. Have you ever seen the original? Sheesh, it's like they didn't even try to make a good movie.
2013-04-03 10:30:36 AM
2 votes:

scottydoesntknow: really can't think of many reboots I actually liked beyond Dredd, Rise of the PotA, and Amazing Spider-Man.


It's a short list. Batman Begins, um...I think Robocop might be okay just because it has a good cast but I don't expect it to be as hardcore as the original. Nor as funny.

Then there's the standard The Thing, the Fly and Dawn of the Dead but they were so far removed from the originals they're almost just their own movies.

And if you want to get pedantic The Wizard of Oz and The Ten Commandments were remakes.
2013-04-03 10:28:23 AM
2 votes:
Ohh wait, I also enjoyed the Star Trek reboot. Suck it, haters.
2013-04-03 10:12:25 AM
2 votes:
"They mock you for liking the original" should be on there somewhere.

That's mostly movies rebooting TV shows, but it should still be on there.
2013-04-03 10:49:15 PM
1 votes:

scottydoesntknow: Ohh wait, I also enjoyed the Star Trek reboot. Suck it, haters.


Star Trek wasn't really a reboot, though. It didn't do any of the things a reboot traditionally does--tell the original story but "grittier" or "more realistic" or whatever. Instead, it told the original story but with a "surprise twist" at the beginning instead of the end. Kind of a "what if" scenario: What if Kirk, instead of being a paragon of morality and heroism, was really a slacker dick? What if Spock, instead of being a conflicted logical/emotional being, was open about his emotions AND his logic, and really didn't like Kirk much? What if Scotty was a goofball nerd?

Next, JJ Abrams will be asking "What if Khan was really a half-human, half-Gorn hybrid whose loyal followers were time-traveling Mongol hordes?" That one should be good.
2013-04-03 06:26:27 PM
1 votes:

Witty_Retort: /or maybe I'm really over-thinking it


I'd love that. That could be the best idea for Star Trek that I ever read.
2013-04-03 06:03:00 PM
1 votes:

extroverted_suicide: SurfaceTension: Am I the only one that enjoyed the Star Trek reboot?

I liked it a lot, and still pop it in the DVD player every now and again.  It was a good movie.  I just don't like that they erased all of Star Trek history (except Enterprise) to tell their story.  That was arrogant to the 17th power.

I don't buy the "alternate timeline" explanation.  It every time travel episode of Trek ever, they were always desperate to undo whatever damage the time traveler had wrought.  In Trek '09, Nero goes back in time, destroys most of Starfleet, blows up a Federation founding race, and everyone is just sorta like, "meh".  That didn't sit well with me.  On it's own though, it's a good, fun movie.


That could be the "final" of the new Trek line. They go back and stop Nero and save the Kelvin. Timeline restored.
2013-04-03 05:51:14 PM
1 votes:

FeedTheCollapse: I seem to recall Fark really loving the movie when it came out, but that opinion has apparently changed.


People who liked the film liked the film but people who hated the film really really hated the film. That passion will make you post every time and with threads like this make you drag the carcass out and beat it some more.

So they are over sampled.
2013-04-03 03:41:17 PM
1 votes:

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Total Recall rocked.


I have no idea why they had to call it Total Recall! They could have just had his memories triggered by something else and made a whole new movie.

They could have called it "Borne Identity 2250" because it was closer to the Borne Identity movie then it was to Total Recall. And it had this:

[img708.imageshack.us image 420x300]

How did this not make billions and billions of dollars?!


Because the idiots who wrote it failed writing class?
2013-04-03 02:35:56 PM
1 votes:

Slaves2Darkness: Movies that need remakes or reboots:
Krull
Flash Gordon
Battle Beyond the Stars
Logan's Run
Time Bandits
Ice Pirates
Space Hunter
Dragonslayer
Buck Rogers
Beast Master
Red Sonja
West World
Andromeda Strain
Dark Star
Short Circuit
War Games
The Rocketeer
Dreamscape
Night of the Comet
Megaforce


Sorry, not War Games. It's one of those "product of its time" movies, during the Cold War when tensions were high, and in the early days of computing when systems were more or less wide open, and hacking was in its infancy. A remake would suck, the "hacking" would just be some asshole typing on a keyboard with no discernible goal, and the Cold War tension wouldn't be there. "On the brink of WWIII" doesn't work with no super Power to make the bad guys.
2013-04-03 02:34:51 PM
1 votes:

stuhayes2010: A Goonies reboot with modern fat lazy iPhone crazed kids would be hillariously bad.

Writter made a good point though, parents never let their kids out of eye sight these days.

In my day....

/lawn off it.


Who would play Chunk? Normal kids are Chunk sized. They'd need to roll in some morbidly obese child on a wal-mart scooter to make the bit work.
2013-04-03 02:27:02 PM
1 votes:

Mikey1969: 5) The Original Was a Product of Its Time

I DO agree with this one. I've used this exact line, and I used The Goonies as my example when discussing the Red Dawn reboot. Author may be a Farker, and if so, he ripped me off 100%. Some movies fit where they fit due to the culture at the time(Also, the Cold War aspect of Red Dawn made it more believable than what I'm hearing about the reboot), and they can't really fit in a newer climate.

Scary how close this is to exactly the argument I used.


Bolded part is so completely true.  I was a kid during the 80's.  We did truly believe in the commie scare of them attacking us and even taking us over.  That doesn't exist any more.  No one in their hearts really believes North Korea or China or whoever is going to attack us.  Heck, most don't believe another 9/11 will ever happen.  While 9/11 is a horrible tragedy, it was nothing on the scale of what we were afraid of in the 1980's (rational or not, the fear existed.)
2013-04-03 01:43:47 PM
1 votes:

SurfaceTension: Am I the only one that enjoyed the Star Trek reboot?


No. I got the DVD the day it came out and still watch it regularly. I also went to see Hobbit on Imax 3D just to see the Star Trek preview, and I cannot wait for the new one.

Sybarite: Why is the author talking about Watchmen? That was an adaptation from another medium not a reboot.


I think the author was making the point that some movies aren't just the product of their settings, like the 80's, but that the audiences who appreciate them are the ones currently living in that setting. I loved Watchmen, and some of that may have been because I grew up in the 80's and I understood the mindset. I never read the graphic novel until a few months before the movie came out, and I still got what it was doing. But I can understand why not everyone would have understood the dire feelings the movie was trying to evoke, as the Cold War ended nearly twenty years before the movie came out.

I completely agree with the point that some movies are the product of their time. It's why Die Hard is a great movie and the later editions (4 and 5) don't hold up. Die Hard is an 80's movie, and it is a product of the 80's. (And woe unto anyone who decides to remake Die Hard. It is perfect, it needs to remake.)
2013-04-03 01:34:31 PM
1 votes:

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Mikey1969: Yeah, but it makes it sound like they are ALL 1/8th of why it doesn't work. '8 Things That Can Cause a Reboot to Fail' makes it sound like it can be any combination of the 8, but '8 Reasons Movie Reboots Fail', with no qualifiers makes it sound like all reboots fail, and it's all set in stone. That's what bothers me about articles like this. I guess it's more in line with the general complaint about the lack of quality in journalism today, and Gawker is a prime example of that, so I guess you're right. Considering what they have to work with, this is pretty good.

/Do I sound bitter?
//I FEEL bitter


You're that picky with the English language? How do you even log onto this website?! My god your stomach must be riddled with ulsters and you must be having chest pains. The blood shooting from your eyes should have been the first clue something was bad wrong.


And one more picture:
[img825.imageshack.us image 800x1265]

'cause I can


The Irish province?  :-)
2013-04-03 01:33:20 PM
1 votes:

tlchwi02: Mikey1969: 1) You Have Less Talent than the Original Cast and Crew

Um, not if the original sucked, or was so lo budget that they couldn't afford big talent. Wrong answer, try again.

Wow, 1 line item in, and your blog already sucks.

i'd say the best example of the point the author was making is The Thing. the original had great actors, effects and an established director. the new one had relative unknown actors, used CGI and was directed by a complete unknown. the contrast in quality between them is stark, although they are essentially the same movie in terms of the plot



LMAO!
2013-04-03 12:58:44 PM
1 votes:
The Evil Dead remake/reboot looks all kinds of awesome.
2013-04-03 12:46:49 PM
1 votes:

Valacirca: Red Dawnmade sense in the '80s

No it didn't.  I mean, it made sense as to why it was made then , but no, that movie never made any sense.


And it sucked in the '80s too.
2013-04-03 12:19:26 PM
1 votes:

SurfaceTension: Interesting. My experience was just the opposite. I really liked 12. Almost more than 11. The only thing is I think it's a little confusing because basically everything they're doing in Europe is nothing more than the "elaborate show" that LeMarque says they have to put on for Toulour.


5 words that completely took me out of the movie and caused me to lose all interest.

Julia Roberts playing Julia Roberts
2013-04-03 12:15:59 PM
1 votes:

SurfaceTension: My experience was just the opposite. I really liked 12


The only thing I remember about 12 was Julia Roberts playing someone pretending to be Julia Roberts. I think my eyes just glazed over at that point.
2013-04-03 12:13:14 PM
1 votes:
I thought the new Conan movie was better than the original. Not saying the first one was bad, but it's unadulterated asskickery. It's prettier now than 30 years ago.
2013-04-03 12:12:12 PM
1 votes:

sure haven't: scottydoesntknow: Too bad they farked it all up with Ocean's Twelve, god that was terrible. At least 13 got it somewhat back on track.

Yeah 12 was powerful weak. 13 did get it back on track like you said. I haven't heard anything about a 14, although it's scary that the first one was... 13 years ago. F*ck me time goes fast.


Interesting. My experience was just the opposite. I really liked 12. Almost more than 11. The only thing is I think it's a little confusing because basically everything they're doing in Europe is nothing more than the "elaborate show" that LeMarque says they have to put on for Toulour.

Ocean's 13 on the other hand, to me that's not a terrible watch, but not one I'm going out of my way to see again.

Any future Ocean's movie is going to suffer from not having Bernie Mac around.
2013-04-03 12:08:28 PM
1 votes:

Snapper Carr: Serious Black: Nicolas Cage's The Wicker Man has to be one of the worst movies I have ever seen in my entire life.

Depends on why your expectations.

If you're looking for an atmospheric, chilling horror/thriller with quality acting and a tight script you're out of luck.


If you want to see a guy in a bear suit sucker punching women, The Wicker Man will not disappoint.


Glad to see someone gets it. The first one was almost plausible you could have some remote island off the coast of england in the 60s regressing to pagan cults. The remake had some weird bee cult off the pacific coast of america where they apparently have cell phone jammers. It lacks any historical context. And yet, we have nic cage raving and sucker punching chicks. It's so gloriously laughable I really did enjoy it, even though it played out like a hobo's silent hill.
2013-04-03 12:00:42 PM
1 votes:

MyKingdomForYourHorse: SurfaceTension: Am I the only one that enjoyed the Star Trek reboot?

Mark me down for nope, it was a Trek movie made not for Trekkers but for general audience. It's why your hard core rabid fans rail on it.

Also mark me down for loving the Halloween remakes. I thought Rob did an excellent job with those.


I'm a pretty big Trekkie, and I loved it. I thought it was fun and a creative way to have the characters we know and love experience new adventures.

See also: Zachary Quinto. Part of me is sort of hoping that the one that's coming out this year devolves into a Quinto/Cumberbatch slashfic on screen.

/NTTAWWT
2013-04-03 12:00:21 PM
1 votes:

sure haven't: I will say the 2000 Ocean's Eleven was miles better than the original. Have you ever seen the original? Sheesh, it's like they didn't even try to make a good movie.


Ooooh good call! That was just pure awesome, one of those movies I could watch any time.

Too bad they farked it all up with Ocean's Twelve, god that was terrible. At least 13 got it somewhat back on track.
2013-04-03 11:59:19 AM
1 votes:

Snapper Carr: If you want to see a guy in a bear suit sucker punching women, The Wicker Man will not disappoint.


See I went in expecting comedy and I left the theater satisfied
2013-04-03 11:57:37 AM
1 votes:

Serious Black: Nicolas Cage's The Wicker Man has to be one of the worst movies I have ever seen in my entire life.


Depends on why your expectations.

If you're looking for an atmospheric, chilling horror/thriller with quality acting and a tight script you're out of luck.


If you want to see a guy in a bear suit sucker punching women, The Wicker Man will not disappoint.
2013-04-03 11:56:17 AM
1 votes:
Hmm, that was actually a very well-thought out and reasoned article, good link, subby!

Batman Begins was simply amazing, and 2009 Star Trek was incredibly awesome, but they weren't reboots of movies, they were reboots of franchises, totally different things.
2013-04-03 11:54:17 AM
1 votes:
Nicolas Cage's The Wicker Man has to be one of the worst movies I have ever seen in my entire life. I'd sooner swallow a whole bottle of ipecac than watch that filthy piece of trash again.
2013-04-03 11:45:31 AM
1 votes:

SurfaceTension: Am I the only one that enjoyed the Star Trek reboot?


Mark me down for nope, it was a Trek movie made not for Trekkers but for general audience. It's why your hard core rabid fans rail on it.

Also mark me down for loving the Halloween remakes. I thought Rob did an excellent job with those.
2013-04-03 11:31:52 AM
1 votes:

SurfaceTension: Am I the only one that enjoyed the Star Trek reboot?


No. Can't wait for the next one.
2013-04-03 10:39:26 AM
1 votes:

Sybarite: Why is the author talking about Watchmen? That was an adaptation from another medium not a reboot. Regarding the Spider-Man films Spider-Man 2 > Spider-Man > The Amazing Spider-Man > Spider-Man 3.


I'd switch Spider-Man with the Amazing Spider-Man, the first one just felt really gimmicky to me. Two was by far the best though. It had the best villian out of all of them. You felt sympathy for him as he wasn't in control of himself and wasn't trying to rule humanity or anything, he just wanted to finish his damn experiment for his dead wife.
2013-04-03 10:35:36 AM
1 votes:
Why is the author talking about Watchmen? That was an adaptation from another medium not a reboot. Regarding the Spider-Man films Spider-Man 2 > Spider-Man > The Amazing Spider-Man > Spider-Man 3.
2013-04-03 10:23:51 AM
1 votes:
I don't know how I feel about lumping comic book reboots in these lists.
 
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