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(The Daily Dolt)   "If you call any other Christian on this page a 'bibliophile' I will ban you." -Best-selling author and creationist Ray Comfort. To be fair, he thought it meant "a cross between a pedophile and the Bible"   (thedailydolt.com ) divider line
    More: Dumbass, Ray Comfort, other Christians, best-selling author, Bibles, cross, innovations  
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8505 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Apr 2013 at 9:30 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-04-03 09:39:54 AM  
49 votes:
If a Bibliophile only loves *one* book, does that make them homotextual?
2013-04-03 09:37:11 AM  
47 votes:
I thought a cross between a pedophile and the Bible was called a "priest."
2013-04-03 11:30:03 AM  
9 votes:
Well folks, I'm off. There is this nice little paperback I have had my eye on for a while and all this talk has got me excited enough to risk making a move. Some of my friends say she is a real page turner, but you can't always listen to gossip. I think I'll take things slowly, just a couple of words. Make sure she know I am not the kind of guy who is going to dog ear her corners. I take precautions, always carry a new bookmark in my wallet, just in case.
I'm a little nervous, it has been a little while since I was with a tome I really connected with. Obviously, there have been others but they were just, cheap things I picked up in coffee shops just to kill some time. Frankly I am ready to find a good text, one which will take me places and (I hope) show me something new, expand my mind a bit (if you know what I mean, and I think you do).
I hear she is educated (Oxford), my only real concern is that she might be a bit young for me. I have heard she doesn't mind an older-reader, but some of your modern types get a bit concerned when you pay too much attention to their descriptors or when you want to look at the relationships more than the action (not that I am too old for the action, I do sometimes have to use a little assistance to give their little words enough attention).
2013-04-03 09:59:35 AM  
6 votes:
Ray Comfort is probably really mad about everyone trying to penalize him for not understanding a word.

Mostly, though, that's because he thinks "penalize" has something to do with penises.
2013-04-03 09:48:15 AM  
6 votes:
www.brucellama.com

Here's a picture of that sick bastard masticating. What a perv.
2013-04-03 09:37:45 AM  
6 votes:
Can I call his wife a "Comfort woman"?
2013-04-03 08:21:00 AM  
6 votes:
It's what one would expect from someone with a profound lack of education and who frequently thinks about either sex with children or the bible.
2013-04-03 09:56:53 AM  
4 votes:
farm8.staticflickr.com
2013-04-03 09:33:18 AM  
4 votes:
And these are the people who are trying to codify their beliefs as national policy.

xenophon10k: It's because when your Christian there is no other book but THE BIBLE.


And its companion volume, Atlas Shrugged.
2013-04-03 12:21:53 PM  
3 votes:

Albert911emt: You'd think he'd have been smart enough to look up what bibliophile actually meant before getting all bent out of shape.

\a smart creationist?.......hahahahaha


He tried:

i236.photobucket.com
2013-04-03 11:17:10 AM  
3 votes:
I love the subtle insult he delivers to Ray. "I sincerely apologize for the use of the word 'bibliophile'. It means 'lover of books' as I'm sure you know and I never meant to cast that aspersion upon you."
2013-04-03 11:08:03 AM  
3 votes:

I May Be Crazy But...: stampylives: you cant really look at this picture and tell me that these two arent farking.

or at least some mouth stuff.

[i.imgur.com image 350x512]

See, now I'm a little curious. What IS Hell's secret? All day buffet with lobster tails and crab legs for only $7.99? A nice relaxing massage whenever the stress of suffering for all eternity gets to be too much? What could it be?


Hell soaks its hands in Palmolive.
2013-04-03 10:02:49 AM  
3 votes:
He's going to shiat a brick when he finds out about all the pdf files that are on his computer.
2013-04-03 09:49:49 AM  
3 votes:
Remember, anti-evolutionists, this man is one of your best and brightest.
2013-04-03 09:40:08 AM  
3 votes:
Man-book marriages are next. WHY DIDN'T WE LISTEN
2013-04-03 09:38:22 AM  
3 votes:
Oh good Lord....

t0.gstatic.com
2013-04-03 09:09:22 AM  
3 votes:
Chistians, this - this right here - is why the rest of us think you're a bunch of anti-intellectual f*ckwits.
2013-04-03 08:26:57 AM  
3 votes:

Jon iz teh kewl: that cause when your christian
you don't need to read nothin
you know what books are about before you even read them
thanks god


It's because when your Christian there is no other book but THE BIBLE. SO DON'T YOU DARE CALL ANY CHRISTIAN A "LOVER" OF BOOKS. THEY AREN'T PERVERTED BOOK-LOVERS! WHARGARRBL!
2013-04-03 07:41:24 AM  
3 votes:
that cause when your christian
you don't need to read nothin
you know what books are about before you even read them
thanks god
2013-04-03 03:59:37 PM  
2 votes:

Galileo's Daughter: I'm a Christian and a bibliophile.  Am I to be sent to a re-education camp or something?


So you're a priest?
2013-04-03 12:15:36 PM  
2 votes:
If you don't stop exacerbating, you'll go blind.
2013-04-03 11:51:08 AM  
2 votes:
I heard he was a shameless extrovert, his sister is a practicing thespian, and he was addicted to celibacy prior to cleaning up and getting married.
2013-04-03 10:49:16 AM  
2 votes:
you cant really look at this picture and tell me that these two arent farking.

or at least some mouth stuff.

i.imgur.com
2013-04-03 10:34:39 AM  
2 votes:

dready zim: ADHD Librarian: vygramul: ADHD Librarian: 2wolves: Greenshuz: If a Bibliophile only loves *one* book, does that make them homotextual?

Monotextual, actually.

Homotextual, would be if one was only turned on by one particular genre.

No, that's just a fetish.

Really? I figured a fetish would be only reading tomes with gold lettering on red spines. Or a particular love of the crinkled pages of a 1970s penguin.
While someone who reads both fiction and non-fiction would be bitextual.
But, this being FARK, we'd better not start discussing those people who wish they had been born books. That always leads to insensitive types saying that even after the surgery they don't have real pages or that they can tell the difference between a genuine index and a surgically implanted one.

Nah, a fetish is an object, action or situation without which you are unable to be aroused (although this could include red books with gold lettering and so forth). Homotextual would be sexually liking books that are the same subject as yourself...

Don`t get me started on fonts...


Oh yeah, talk to me about serifs. Big black serifs, just jutting out proud from an upper case T
You know you want to.
Tell me about your letter S, what would you do with that big bold letter?
2013-04-03 10:25:16 AM  
2 votes:

VJStinger: I wonder what he thinks of Audiophiles.

I don't spend that much time having sex with my music, and it sure as shiat doesn't involve children.


Yes, you should avoid aural sects.
2013-04-03 10:17:25 AM  
2 votes:
"and even more often people would come in proclaiming to be Christian only to lull us into a false sense of security and begin telling us impossible stories "

Isn't that how everyone becomes a Christian?
2013-04-03 10:17:23 AM  
2 votes:
1.bp.blogspot.com

/oblig
2013-04-03 10:06:02 AM  
2 votes:

Delawheredad: I would not call all Christians stupid but I do call all creationists stupid. If you are dumb enough to believe in creationism there should not even be a seat for you on the short bus of life.



You mean the South?
2013-04-03 10:00:12 AM  
2 votes:
He'd better be careful with that learning stuff. Too much of it and God stops giving you miracles. Best to have banned the guy and save your soul.
2013-04-03 09:50:42 AM  
2 votes:
What a Christian that likes Atlas Shrugged may look like

encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
2013-04-03 09:50:23 AM  
2 votes:
The best part is that in his outrage over something he didn't understand, he completely missed the outright cognitive dissonance insult.
2013-04-03 09:38:05 AM  
2 votes:
But I LOVE bibliographies...
2013-04-03 07:29:37 AM  
2 votes:
This... explains so much.
2013-04-03 02:44:30 PM  
1 vote:

2wolves: "In the beginning there was the word..."



media.tumblr.com
2013-04-03 01:06:30 PM  
1 vote:
well, he died on the cross to cleanse your synonyms.  unless your into homonyms.

Comfort is wound up so tight he needs to take a repository.
2013-04-03 12:39:52 PM  
1 vote:

vygramul: Worldwalker: I have to wonder why they don't have similar issues with "person" since it's got "son" in it

See, I tend to use my powers for evil, so this is exactly what I would say in such a situation.

"Don't you mean perdaughternager?


Peroffspringager. This nonsense cuts both ways.
2013-04-03 12:18:40 PM  
1 vote:

I May Be Crazy But...: See, now I'm a little curious. What IS Hell's secret? All day buffet with lobster tails and crab legs for only $7.99?


That's Hell's Kitchen.
2013-04-03 12:06:23 PM  
1 vote:
You'd think he'd have been smart enough to look up what bibliophile actually meant before getting all bent out of shape.

\a smart creationist?.......hahahahaha
2013-04-03 11:54:29 AM  
1 vote:

Prank Call of Cthulhu: Mostly, though, that's because he thinks "penalize" has something to do with penises.


Well, to be fair, penal institutions usually do.
2013-04-03 11:08:38 AM  
1 vote:

I May Be Crazy But...: See, now I'm a little curious. What IS Hell's secret? All day buffet with lobster tails and crab legs for only $7.99? A nice relaxing massage whenever the stress of suffering for all eternity gets to be too much? What could it be?


Happy hour starts at 8

But blue laws force the bar to close at 7
2013-04-03 10:38:36 AM  
1 vote:

VJStinger: I wonder what he thinks of Audiophiles.


i105.photobucket.com
Goddam perverts
2013-04-03 10:24:13 AM  
1 vote:

EyeballKid: grokca: I thought he was a bananaphile.

ring-ring-ring-ring-ring-ring-ring


images2.wikia.nocookie.net
2013-04-03 10:14:47 AM  
1 vote:
I wonder what he thinks of Audiophiles.

I don't spend that much time having sex with my music, and it sure as shiat doesn't involve children.
2013-04-03 10:05:51 AM  
1 vote:

Deathfrogg: Prank Call of Cthulhu: Ray Comfort is probably really mad about everyone trying to penalize him for not understanding a word.

Mostly, though, that's because he thinks "penalize" has something to do with penises.

The etymology of the word is exactly that.


There was a bookstore clerk who corrected someone who asked to see a manager by saying, "It's PERSONager."
2013-04-03 10:03:14 AM  
1 vote:
This coming from a guy who spends so much time playing around in rectories.
2013-04-03 10:02:26 AM  
1 vote:
I must be a bibliopimp.
2013-04-03 09:55:16 AM  
1 vote:
The religious right has just embraced the notion that being a total dumbass is the key to being a good Christian.

I mean, that anti-intellectual aspect has always been there in fundamentalism -- that's kind of the point of fundamentalism, after all, the notion that religion should be the sole and complete shaper of your worldview -- but it's getting louder, more aggressive, and even stupider.
2013-04-03 09:46:47 AM  
1 vote:

Tanthalas39: Pants full of macaroni!!: And these are the people who are trying to codify their beliefs as national policy.

xenophon10k: It's because when your Christian there is no other book but THE BIBLE.

And its companion volume, Atlas Shrugged.

...says the person who has obviously not read Atlas Shrugged.


...says the person who has obviously not been paying attention to modern "Christians."
2013-04-03 09:45:10 AM  
1 vote:
This is my wife (not in a gay marriage way).  If you use a word she doesn't know, she thinks you've made it up and probably means something stupid.

She used to think that the worst-named car was the Dodge Intrepid, because "intrepid" was a made up car name that sounded too much like "insipid."

No, really . . . I'm not making this up.

/ once made fun of me for mangling "vociferously" the first time I tried to read it aloud.
// makes damned sure that gets pointed out on every "intrepid" opportunity.
2013-04-03 09:43:44 AM  
1 vote:

PC LOAD LETTER: Reminds me of the David Letterman bit where they went around NYC asking if they would vote for someone who was an avowed heterosexual. Responses ranged from a simple "No" to "Sexual? Never!"


At one point, the Man Show got some silly women to sign a petition to end "women's suffrage."  'Cause you know, "suffrage" and "suffering" can be confused if you're not very bright.
2013-04-03 09:43:34 AM  
1 vote:

Greenshuz: If a Bibliophile only loves *one* book, does that make them homotextual?


Kiiiiinda got me a little aroused with that line.
2013-04-03 09:43:14 AM  
1 vote:

KingsleyZisou: I thought a cross between a pedophile and the Bible was called a "priest."


Turn off the lights and lock the doors, this thread is closed.
2013-04-03 09:42:05 AM  
1 vote:

Prank Call of Cthulhu: Can I call his wife a "Comfort woman"?


encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
2013-04-03 09:40:49 AM  
1 vote:
how to speaks the english
I knows it
all hail the magical jew, his daddy, and the ghost with the mostness
2013-04-03 09:40:19 AM  
1 vote:

Pants full of macaroni!!: And these are the people who are trying to codify their beliefs as national policy.

xenophon10k: It's because when your Christian there is no other book but THE BIBLE.

And its companion volume, Atlas Shrugged.


Don't forget the always popular "Protocols of the Elders of Zion." To be fair, they most often have it in the Chick Tract/Comic-book format as the original work uses big words.
2013-04-03 09:38:32 AM  
1 vote:
Dihydrogen Monoxide kills!

Morans...
2013-04-03 09:37:02 AM  
1 vote:
This, this is a thing of beauty.  Thank God for all the fsckwit idiots out there who have the courtesy to be in denial about their fsckwittedness, and eagerly provide us with such heartwarming, lowbrow humor.  That they think they're doing it in God's name is the obvious sign of humor mastery.
2013-04-03 09:36:04 AM  
1 vote:
I'm no longer surprised by stupidity. Saddened, but not surprised.
2013-04-03 08:34:51 AM  
1 vote:
Reminds me of the David Letterman bit where they went around NYC asking if they would vote for someone who was an avowed heterosexual. Responses ranged from a simple "No" to "Sexual? Never!"
 
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