If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(The Daily Dolt)   "If you call any other Christian on this page a 'bibliophile' I will ban you." -Best-selling author and creationist Ray Comfort. To be fair, he thought it meant "a cross between a pedophile and the Bible"   (thedailydolt.com) divider line 176
    More: Dumbass, Ray Comfort, other Christians, best-selling author, Bibles, cross, innovations  
•       •       •

8466 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Apr 2013 at 9:30 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



176 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-04-03 07:29:37 AM
This... explains so much.
 
2013-04-03 07:41:24 AM
that cause when your christian
you don't need to read nothin
you know what books are about before you even read them
thanks god
 
2013-04-03 08:21:00 AM
It's what one would expect from someone with a profound lack of education and who frequently thinks about either sex with children or the bible.
 
2013-04-03 08:26:57 AM

Jon iz teh kewl: that cause when your christian
you don't need to read nothin
you know what books are about before you even read them
thanks god


It's because when your Christian there is no other book but THE BIBLE. SO DON'T YOU DARE CALL ANY CHRISTIAN A "LOVER" OF BOOKS. THEY AREN'T PERVERTED BOOK-LOVERS! WHARGARRBL!
 
2013-04-03 08:34:51 AM
Reminds me of the David Letterman bit where they went around NYC asking if they would vote for someone who was an avowed heterosexual. Responses ranged from a simple "No" to "Sexual? Never!"
 
2013-04-03 09:09:22 AM
Chistians, this - this right here - is why the rest of us think you're a bunch of anti-intellectual f*ckwits.
 
2013-04-03 09:33:18 AM
And these are the people who are trying to codify their beliefs as national policy.

xenophon10k: It's because when your Christian there is no other book but THE BIBLE.


And its companion volume, Atlas Shrugged.
 
2013-04-03 09:36:04 AM
I'm no longer surprised by stupidity. Saddened, but not surprised.
 
2013-04-03 09:37:02 AM
This, this is a thing of beauty.  Thank God for all the fsckwit idiots out there who have the courtesy to be in denial about their fsckwittedness, and eagerly provide us with such heartwarming, lowbrow humor.  That they think they're doing it in God's name is the obvious sign of humor mastery.
 
2013-04-03 09:37:11 AM
I thought a cross between a pedophile and the Bible was called a "priest."
 
2013-04-03 09:37:45 AM
Can I call his wife a "Comfort woman"?
 
2013-04-03 09:37:51 AM
Really now, at this point, isn't calling Christians stupid like saying that water is wet? And isn't arguing with them like fishing with dynamite?

And if we hit that bull's-eye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.
 
2013-04-03 09:38:05 AM
But I LOVE bibliographies...
 
2013-04-03 09:38:16 AM
I'm going to make a wild speculative guess here...are you home-schooled, Ray? And, are you still cool with people calling you "Southern" on your FB page?
 
2013-04-03 09:38:22 AM
Oh good Lord....

t0.gstatic.com
 
2013-04-03 09:38:32 AM
Dihydrogen Monoxide kills!

Morans...
 
2013-04-03 09:38:50 AM
To his credit, Comfort owned up to being a dumbass and apologized for it.
 
2013-04-03 09:39:46 AM

Pants full of macaroni!!: And these are the people who are trying to codify their beliefs as national policy.

xenophon10k: It's because when your Christian there is no other book but THE BIBLE.

And its companion volume, Atlas Shrugged.


Written by an atheist, inspired by hedonism.
 
2013-04-03 09:39:54 AM
If a Bibliophile only loves *one* book, does that make them homotextual?
 
2013-04-03 09:40:08 AM
Man-book marriages are next. WHY DIDN'T WE LISTEN
 
2013-04-03 09:40:19 AM

Pants full of macaroni!!: And these are the people who are trying to codify their beliefs as national policy.

xenophon10k: It's because when your Christian there is no other book but THE BIBLE.

And its companion volume, Atlas Shrugged.


Don't forget the always popular "Protocols of the Elders of Zion." To be fair, they most often have it in the Chick Tract/Comic-book format as the original work uses big words.
 
2013-04-03 09:40:49 AM
how to speaks the english
I knows it
all hail the magical jew, his daddy, and the ghost with the mostness
 
2013-04-03 09:41:00 AM

Benevolent Misanthrope: Chistians, this - this right here - is why the rest of us think you're a bunch of anti-intellectual f*ckwits.


^^^This. But I do expect a lot of responses from christians, with a few bible verses sprinkled in, how blah blah blah. I can't do. Keep worshiping mythological creatures. What ever makes you. Just STOP pushing it on the rest of us...
 
2013-04-03 09:41:14 AM

Pants full of macaroni!!: And these are the people who are trying to codify their beliefs as national policy.

xenophon10k: It's because when your Christian there is no other book but THE BIBLE.

And its companion volume, Atlas Shrugged.


...says the person who has obviously not read Atlas Shrugged.
 
2013-04-03 09:42:05 AM

Prank Call of Cthulhu: Can I call his wife a "Comfort woman"?


encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
 
2013-04-03 09:42:07 AM

MindStalker: Pants full of macaroni!!: And these are the people who are trying to codify their beliefs as national policy.

xenophon10k: It's because when your Christian there is no other book but THE BIBLE.

And its companion volume, Atlas Shrugged.

Written by an atheist, inspired by hedonism.


I tried to taste the irony there, but it was so chock full of cognitive dissonance and I just can't pass that like I used to anymore. Not even if it's washed down with schadenfreude tears
 
2013-04-03 09:43:14 AM

KingsleyZisou: I thought a cross between a pedophile and the Bible was called a "priest."


Turn off the lights and lock the doors, this thread is closed.
 
2013-04-03 09:43:34 AM

Greenshuz: If a Bibliophile only loves *one* book, does that make them homotextual?


Kiiiiinda got me a little aroused with that line.
 
2013-04-03 09:43:44 AM

PC LOAD LETTER: Reminds me of the David Letterman bit where they went around NYC asking if they would vote for someone who was an avowed heterosexual. Responses ranged from a simple "No" to "Sexual? Never!"


At one point, the Man Show got some silly women to sign a petition to end "women's suffrage."  'Cause you know, "suffrage" and "suffering" can be confused if you're not very bright.
 
2013-04-03 09:45:10 AM
This is my wife (not in a gay marriage way).  If you use a word she doesn't know, she thinks you've made it up and probably means something stupid.

She used to think that the worst-named car was the Dodge Intrepid, because "intrepid" was a made up car name that sounded too much like "insipid."

No, really . . . I'm not making this up.

/ once made fun of me for mangling "vociferously" the first time I tried to read it aloud.
// makes damned sure that gets pointed out on every "intrepid" opportunity.
 
2013-04-03 09:46:26 AM

Greenshuz: If a Bibliophile only loves *one* book, does that make them homotextual?


Monotextual, actually.
 
2013-04-03 09:46:47 AM

Tanthalas39: Pants full of macaroni!!: And these are the people who are trying to codify their beliefs as national policy.

xenophon10k: It's because when your Christian there is no other book but THE BIBLE.

And its companion volume, Atlas Shrugged.

...says the person who has obviously not read Atlas Shrugged.


...says the person who has obviously not been paying attention to modern "Christians."
 
2013-04-03 09:47:26 AM

KingsleyZisou: I thought a cross between a pedophile and the Bible was called a "priest."


Well played, good sir.  Well played, indeed.
 
2013-04-03 09:47:43 AM
A "bibliophile" is a person that loves books. I don't know too many christians that love books. Most of the christians I grew up with had no books in their houses, save one.

Reading is for communists!
 
2013-04-03 09:48:06 AM

Tanthalas39: ...says the person who has obviously not read Atlas Shrugged.


You haven't paid much attention in the past decade or so.
 
2013-04-03 09:48:15 AM
www.brucellama.com

Here's a picture of that sick bastard masticating. What a perv.
 
2013-04-03 09:49:49 AM
Remember, anti-evolutionists, this man is one of your best and brightest.
 
2013-04-03 09:50:23 AM
The best part is that in his outrage over something he didn't understand, he completely missed the outright cognitive dissonance insult.
 
2013-04-03 09:50:42 AM
What a Christian that likes Atlas Shrugged may look like

encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
 
2013-04-03 09:52:26 AM

Tigger: What a Christian that likes Atlas Shrugged may look like

[encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com image 182x272]


Notice, you can't see his other hand, the one he was using to prop up that barbell long enough to get the picture taken.
 
2013-04-03 09:53:17 AM

Greenshuz: If a Bibliophile only loves *one* book, does that make them homotextual?


That's [smart] AND [funny]! Nice one
 
2013-04-03 09:53:50 AM

Jerry Westerby: To his credit, Comfort owned up to being a dumbass and apologized for it.


This. I'm not sure about the whole believe-in-the-Zombie-or-else bit, but I'm all about forgiving people who recognize their mistakes and repent, especially if they learn from it.
 
2013-04-03 09:55:16 AM
The religious right has just embraced the notion that being a total dumbass is the key to being a good Christian.

I mean, that anti-intellectual aspect has always been there in fundamentalism -- that's kind of the point of fundamentalism, after all, the notion that religion should be the sole and complete shaper of your worldview -- but it's getting louder, more aggressive, and even stupider.
 
2013-04-03 09:55:17 AM
See what happens when you base all of your knowledge on "faith" and nothing more?

Dude needs to go to one of those "liberal infested" schools, they'll teach him how to use his words.
 
2013-04-03 09:56:53 AM
farm8.staticflickr.com
 
2013-04-03 09:57:16 AM
I thought he was a bananaphile.
 
2013-04-03 09:59:35 AM
Ray Comfort is probably really mad about everyone trying to penalize him for not understanding a word.

Mostly, though, that's because he thinks "penalize" has something to do with penises.
 
2013-04-03 10:00:12 AM
He'd better be careful with that learning stuff. Too much of it and God stops giving you miracles. Best to have banned the guy and save your soul.
 
2013-04-03 10:00:15 AM

grokca: I thought he was a bananaphile.


ring-ring-ring-ring-ring-ring-ring
 
2013-04-03 10:00:23 AM

2wolves: Greenshuz: If a Bibliophile only loves *one* book, does that make them homotextual?

Monotextual, actually.


something, something...monogramy...polygramy

/need coffee
 
2013-04-03 10:01:54 AM

Prank Call of Cthulhu: Ray Comfort is probably really mad about everyone trying to penalize him for not understanding a word.

Mostly, though, that's because he thinks "penalize" has something to do with penises.


The etymology of the word is exactly that.
 
2013-04-03 10:02:26 AM
I must be a bibliopimp.
 
2013-04-03 10:02:49 AM
He's going to shiat a brick when he finds out about all the pdf files that are on his computer.
 
2013-04-03 10:03:14 AM
This coming from a guy who spends so much time playing around in rectories.
 
2013-04-03 10:04:15 AM
I would not call all Christians stupid but I do call all creationists stupid. If you are dumb enough to believe in creationism there should not even be a seat for you on the short bus of life.
 
2013-04-03 10:05:25 AM

2wolves: Greenshuz: If a Bibliophile only loves *one* book, does that make them homotextual?

Monotextual, actually.


Homotextual, would be if one was only turned on by one particular genre.
 
2013-04-03 10:05:51 AM

Deathfrogg: Prank Call of Cthulhu: Ray Comfort is probably really mad about everyone trying to penalize him for not understanding a word.

Mostly, though, that's because he thinks "penalize" has something to do with penises.

The etymology of the word is exactly that.


There was a bookstore clerk who corrected someone who asked to see a manager by saying, "It's PERSONager."
 
2013-04-03 10:05:54 AM

Deathfrogg: Prank Call of Cthulhu: Ray Comfort is probably really mad about everyone trying to penalize him for not understanding a word.

Mostly, though, that's because he thinks "penalize" has something to do with penises.

The etymology of the word is exactly that.


TESTIFY, BROTHER!
 
2013-04-03 10:06:02 AM

Delawheredad: I would not call all Christians stupid but I do call all creationists stupid. If you are dumb enough to believe in creationism there should not even be a seat for you on the short bus of life.



You mean the South?
 
2013-04-03 10:06:47 AM

jfarkinB: Jerry Westerby: To his credit, Comfort owned up to being a dumbass and apologized for it.

This. I'm not sure about the whole believe-in-the-Zombie-or-else bit, but I'm all about forgiving people who recognize their mistakes and repent, especially if they learn from it.


Agreed. Remember: Don't act nubianrdly when issuing apologies for this kinda thing.
 
2013-04-03 10:06:52 AM

ADHD Librarian: 2wolves: Greenshuz: If a Bibliophile only loves *one* book, does that make them homotextual?

Monotextual, actually.

Homotextual, would be if one was only turned on by one particular genre.


No, that's just a fetish.
 
2013-04-03 10:08:05 AM

FloydA: Deathfrogg: Prank Call of Cthulhu: Ray Comfort is probably really mad about everyone trying to penalize him for not understanding a word.

Mostly, though, that's because he thinks "penalize" has something to do with penises.

The etymology of the word is exactly that.

TESTIFY, BROTHER!


There's a reason a synonym is "castigate".
 
2013-04-03 10:08:46 AM
So, while the dude is an ignorant fundy, he apologized for being ignorant and said he's still learning.  I'd give him at least a +0.1 for that.
 
2013-04-03 10:09:56 AM
I love that his mind immediately jumped to that conclusion...

To be fair, when I was a moderator for a large Christian group years and years ago, we would constantly get people coming in calling us all sorts of things, highly derogatory and inflammatory.  We were called pedos and worse, we had hackers take over frequently, and even more often people would come in proclaiming to be Christian only to lull us into a false sense of security and begin telling us impossible stories, such as satanic cults the person was a part of, etc.

It put us in a constantly defensive mindset.  So, if I didn't know that word or understand how words were put together, I might have gone as far off the derpy-defensive end as he did.
 
2013-04-03 10:10:04 AM
I'm guessing he doesn't read much.
 
2013-04-03 10:10:59 AM

Greenshuz: If a Bibliophile only loves *one* book, does that make them homotextual?


It just means they're in a monovelous relationship.
 
2013-04-03 10:12:01 AM

geek_mars: Greenshuz: If a Bibliophile only loves *one* book, does that make them homotextual?

It just means they're in a monovelous relationship.


Albeit an abusive one...
 
2013-04-03 10:13:16 AM

AAlumni: jfarkinB: Jerry Westerby: To his credit, Comfort owned up to being a dumbass and apologized for it.

This. I'm not sure about the whole believe-in-the-Zombie-or-else bit, but I'm all about forgiving people who recognize their mistakes and repent, especially if they learn from it.

Agreed. Remember: Don't act nubianrdly when issuing apologies for this kinda thing.


__________________

You're kidding. The filter changes the word to 'nubianrdly'? That's farking ridiculous. Even for Fark.
 
2013-04-03 10:13:27 AM
We all know about how mighty the pen is.
 
2013-04-03 10:13:52 AM

reillan: I love that his mind immediately jumped to that conclusion...

To be fair, when I was a moderator for a large Christian group years and years ago, we would constantly get people coming in calling us all sorts of things, highly derogatory and inflammatory.  We were called pedos and worse, we had hackers take over frequently, and even more often people would come in proclaiming to be Christian only to lull us into a false sense of security and begin telling us impossible stories, such as satanic cults the person was a part of, etc.

It put us in a constantly defensive mindset.  So, if I didn't know that word or understand how words were put together, I might have gone as far off the derpy-defensive end as he did.


Wouldn't it have been easier to just look up the definition?
 
2013-04-03 10:14:47 AM
I wonder what he thinks of Audiophiles.

I don't spend that much time having sex with my music, and it sure as shiat doesn't involve children.
 
2013-04-03 10:15:51 AM

FloydA: reillan: I love that his mind immediately jumped to that conclusion...

To be fair, when I was a moderator for a large Christian group years and years ago, we would constantly get people coming in calling us all sorts of things, highly derogatory and inflammatory.  We were called pedos and worse, we had hackers take over frequently, and even more often people would come in proclaiming to be Christian only to lull us into a false sense of security and begin telling us impossible stories, such as satanic cults the person was a part of, etc.

It put us in a constantly defensive mindset.  So, if I didn't know that word or understand how words were put together, I might have gone as far off the derpy-defensive end as he did.

Wouldn't it have been easier to just look up the definition?


That would require him opening a book that did not validate his opinion.
 
2013-04-03 10:16:12 AM

FloydA: reillan: I love that his mind immediately jumped to that conclusion...

To be fair, when I was a moderator for a large Christian group years and years ago, we would constantly get people coming in calling us all sorts of things, highly derogatory and inflammatory.  We were called pedos and worse, we had hackers take over frequently, and even more often people would come in proclaiming to be Christian only to lull us into a false sense of security and begin telling us impossible stories, such as satanic cults the person was a part of, etc.

It put us in a constantly defensive mindset.  So, if I didn't know that word or understand how words were put together, I might have gone as far off the derpy-defensive end as he did.

Wouldn't it have been easier to just look up the definition?


I did say "if I didn't know or understand how words were put together"... so no, for me, it's not necessary :)

But my point is that you get a little trigger happy with that ban hammer, and you begin jumping to conclusions about those who come in and start arguing...
 
2013-04-03 10:16:30 AM
It's simply amazing that Christians are this mind-bogglingly stupid, and yet people think we should not only listen to them, but try to follow them or become one of them as well.

When our society works so hard to accommodate the delusions, the anti-intellectualism, and the dishonesty of Christians to the point of forcing us to respect them against our common sense, it becomes clear that our nation's future resembles that of a theocratic Afghanistan much more than it does the proverbial shiny city on a hill.  Superstition is a dead weight, and normal people should not be condemned for wanting to excise it from their lives.
 
2013-04-03 10:17:23 AM
1.bp.blogspot.com

/oblig
 
2013-04-03 10:17:25 AM
"and even more often people would come in proclaiming to be Christian only to lull us into a false sense of security and begin telling us impossible stories "

Isn't that how everyone becomes a Christian?
 
2013-04-03 10:23:29 AM

vygramul: ADHD Librarian: 2wolves: Greenshuz: If a Bibliophile only loves *one* book, does that make them homotextual?

Monotextual, actually.

Homotextual, would be if one was only turned on by one particular genre.

No, that's just a fetish.


Really? I figured a fetish would be only reading tomes with gold lettering on red spines. Or a particular love of the crinkled pages of a 1970s penguin.
While someone who reads both fiction and non-fiction would be bitextual.
But, this being FARK, we'd better not start discussing those people who wish they had been born books. That always leads to insensitive types saying that even after the surgery they don't have real pages or that they can tell the difference between a genuine index and a surgically implanted one.
 
2013-04-03 10:24:07 AM
jake_lex: The religious right has just embraced the notion that being a total dumbass is the key to being a good Christian.
I mean, that anti-intellectual aspect has always been there in fundamentalism -- that's kind of the point of fundamentalism, after all, the notion that religion should be the sole and complete shaper of your worldview -- but it's getting louder, more aggressive, and even stupider.


The very first story in the bible, that of Adam and Eve, teaches that having knowledge is a sin.  Also of note is that nudity was not a sin in the eyes of God, it was only when man and woman gained knowledge did they feel it was a sin.
 
2013-04-03 10:24:13 AM

EyeballKid: grokca: I thought he was a bananaphile.

ring-ring-ring-ring-ring-ring-ring


images2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-04-03 10:24:49 AM

Vodka Zombie: It's simply amazing that Christians are this mind-bogglingly stupid, and yet people think we should not only listen to them, but try to follow them or become one of them as well.

When our society works so hard to accommodate the delusions, the anti-intellectualism, and the dishonesty of Christians to the point of forcing us to respect them against our common sense, it becomes clear that our nation's future resembles that of a theocratic Afghanistan much more than it does the proverbial shiny city on a hill.  Superstition is a dead weight, and normal people should not be condemned for wanting to excise it from their lives.


It's not just Christians, it's all fundamentalist belief systems. There are Jewish, Islamic and Bhuddist sects that have many examples of this same sort of thing. It is a major crippling factor to societies around the world.


History, I believe, furnishes no example of a priest-ridden people maintaining a free civil government. This marks the lowest grade of ignorance, of which their civil as well as religious leaders will always avail themselves for their own purposes.

- Thomas Jefferson, letter to Baron Alexander von Humboldt, Dec. 6, 1813
 
2013-04-03 10:25:16 AM

VJStinger: I wonder what he thinks of Audiophiles.

I don't spend that much time having sex with my music, and it sure as shiat doesn't involve children.


Yes, you should avoid aural sects.
 
2013-04-03 10:27:27 AM

ADHD Librarian: vygramul: ADHD Librarian: 2wolves: Greenshuz: If a Bibliophile only loves *one* book, does that make them homotextual?

Monotextual, actually.

Homotextual, would be if one was only turned on by one particular genre.

No, that's just a fetish.

Really? I figured a fetish would be only reading tomes with gold lettering on red spines. Or a particular love of the crinkled pages of a 1970s penguin.
While someone who reads both fiction and non-fiction would be bitextual.
But, this being FARK, we'd better not start discussing those people who wish they had been born books. That always leads to insensitive types saying that even after the surgery they don't have real pages or that they can tell the difference between a genuine index and a surgically implanted one.


Nah, a fetish is an object, action or situation without which you are unable to be aroused (although this could include red books with gold lettering and so forth). Homotextual would be sexually liking books that are the same subject as yourself...

Don`t get me started on fonts...
 
2013-04-03 10:30:08 AM

Deathfrogg: A "bibliophile" is a person that loves books. I don't know too many christians that love books. Most of the christians I grew up with had no books in their houses, save one.

Reading is for communists!


oi41.tinypic.com
 
2013-04-03 10:32:24 AM
The submitted link didn't have anything but the headline. Here's a different one, with embettering context:

http://www.michaelnugent.com/2013/03/31/ray-co mfort-is-upset-at-being- called-a-bibliophile/
 
2013-04-03 10:33:11 AM

Vodka Zombie: Superstition is a dead weight


Unfortunately, many believe that their brand of superstition is special and real. That somehow "whisper into your hands for good things to happen" is totally different than "carry a rabbit's foot around for good luck."
 
2013-04-03 10:34:39 AM

dready zim: ADHD Librarian: vygramul: ADHD Librarian: 2wolves: Greenshuz: If a Bibliophile only loves *one* book, does that make them homotextual?

Monotextual, actually.

Homotextual, would be if one was only turned on by one particular genre.

No, that's just a fetish.

Really? I figured a fetish would be only reading tomes with gold lettering on red spines. Or a particular love of the crinkled pages of a 1970s penguin.
While someone who reads both fiction and non-fiction would be bitextual.
But, this being FARK, we'd better not start discussing those people who wish they had been born books. That always leads to insensitive types saying that even after the surgery they don't have real pages or that they can tell the difference between a genuine index and a surgically implanted one.

Nah, a fetish is an object, action or situation without which you are unable to be aroused (although this could include red books with gold lettering and so forth). Homotextual would be sexually liking books that are the same subject as yourself...

Don`t get me started on fonts...


Oh yeah, talk to me about serifs. Big black serifs, just jutting out proud from an upper case T
You know you want to.
Tell me about your letter S, what would you do with that big bold letter?
 
2013-04-03 10:38:36 AM

VJStinger: I wonder what he thinks of Audiophiles.


i105.photobucket.com
Goddam perverts
 
2013-04-03 10:40:24 AM

FloydA: VJStinger: I wonder what he thinks of Audiophiles.

[i105.photobucket.com image 511x280]
Goddam perverts


Ahh, no, wrong image. You are thinking of autoeroticism.
Audiophiles are those into aural sex.
 
2013-04-03 10:44:56 AM
Next we'll hear he believes that formatting involves two couples or that a paragraph is two graphs.
 
2013-04-03 10:46:06 AM

ADHD Librarian: dready zim: ADHD Librarian: vygramul: ADHD Librarian: 2wolves: Greenshuz: If a Bibliophile only loves *one* book, does that make them homotextual?

Monotextual, actually.

Homotextual, would be if one was only turned on by one particular genre.

No, that's just a fetish.

Really? I figured a fetish would be only reading tomes with gold lettering on red spines. Or a particular love of the crinkled pages of a 1970s penguin.
While someone who reads both fiction and non-fiction would be bitextual.
But, this being FARK, we'd better not start discussing those people who wish they had been born books. That always leads to insensitive types saying that even after the surgery they don't have real pages or that they can tell the difference between a genuine index and a surgically implanted one.

Nah, a fetish is an object, action or situation without which you are unable to be aroused (although this could include red books with gold lettering and so forth). Homotextual would be sexually liking books that are the same subject as yourself...

Don`t get me started on fonts...

Oh yeah, talk to me about serifs. Big black serifs, just jutting out proud from an upper case T
You know you want to.
Tell me about your letter S, what would you do with that big bold letter?


Welcome to the favorites list.
 
2013-04-03 10:47:23 AM

ADHD Librarian: dready zim: ADHD Librarian: vygramul: ADHD Librarian: 2wolves: Greenshuz: If a Bibliophile only loves *one* book, does that make them homotextual?

Monotextual, actually.

Homotextual, would be if one was only turned on by one particular genre.

No, that's just a fetish.

Really? I figured a fetish would be only reading tomes with gold lettering on red spines. Or a particular love of the crinkled pages of a 1970s penguin.
While someone who reads both fiction and non-fiction would be bitextual.
But, this being FARK, we'd better not start discussing those people who wish they had been born books. That always leads to insensitive types saying that even after the surgery they don't have real pages or that they can tell the difference between a genuine index and a surgically implanted one.

Nah, a fetish is an object, action or situation without which you are unable to be aroused (although this could include red books with gold lettering and so forth). Homotextual would be sexually liking books that are the same subject as yourself...

Don`t get me started on fonts...

Oh yeah, talk to me about serifs. Big black serifs, just jutting out proud from an upper case T
You know you want to.
Tell me about your letter S, what would you do with that big bold letter?


Cooper Black, Strong, Bold.
 
2013-04-03 10:49:16 AM
you cant really look at this picture and tell me that these two arent farking.

or at least some mouth stuff.

i.imgur.com
 
2013-04-03 10:52:44 AM

stampylives: you cant really look at this picture and tell me that these two arent farking.

or at least some mouth stuff.

[i.imgur.com image 350x512]


That book has one page.  In 36-point font, it says "It doesn't exist."
 
2013-04-03 10:52:50 AM

stampylives: you cant really look at this picture and tell me that these two arent farking.

or at least some mouth stuff.

[i.imgur.com image 350x512]


See, now I'm a little curious. What IS Hell's secret? All day buffet with lobster tails and crab legs for only $7.99? A nice relaxing massage whenever the stress of suffering for all eternity gets to be too much? What could it be?
 
2013-04-03 10:54:02 AM

Greenshuz: If a Bibliophile only loves *one* book, does that make them homotextual?


I think Leviticus frowns on that
 
2013-04-03 10:56:58 AM

HMS_Blinkin: PC LOAD LETTER: Reminds me of the David Letterman bit where they went around NYC asking if they would vote for someone who was an avowed heterosexual. Responses ranged from a simple "No" to "Sexual? Never!"

At one point, the Man Show got some silly women to sign a petition to end "women's suffrage."  'Cause you know, "suffrage" and "suffering" can be confused if you're not very bright.


To be fair they ask hundreds of people and only show us the idiots.  But there are still too many idiots.

/I said idiots twice, I must like idiots
//explains why I am here
 
2013-04-03 10:58:12 AM

MyKingdomForYourHorse: MindStalker: Pants full of macaroni!!: And these are the people who are trying to codify their beliefs as national policy.

xenophon10k: It's because when your Christian there is no other book but THE BIBLE.

And its companion volume, Atlas Shrugged.

Written by an atheist, inspired by hedonism.

I tried to taste the irony there, but it was so chock full of cognitive dissonance and I just can't pass that like I used to anymore. Not even if it's washed down with schadenfreude tears


Hell, its also the basic tenets of Satanism (Whatever you want to do is worth it), but I didn't want to go full troll.
From the Satanic Bible.

        Satan represents indulgence, instead of abstinence!
        Satan represents vital existence, instead of spiritual pipe dreams!
        Satan represents undefiled wisdom, instead of hypocritical self-deceit!
        Satan represents kindness to those who deserve it, instead of love wasted on ingrates!
        Satan represents vengeance, instead of turning the other cheek!
        Satan represents responsibility to the responsible, instead of concern for psychic vampires!
        Satan represents man as just another animal, sometimes better, more often worse than those that walk on all-fours, who, because of his "divine spiritual and intellectual development," has become the most vicious animal of all!
        Satan represents all of the so-called sins, as they all lead to physical, mental, or emotional gratification!
        Satan has been the best friend the church has ever had, as he has kept it in business all these years!
 
2013-04-03 10:58:14 AM

Ima_Lurker: Greenshuz: If a Bibliophile only loves *one* book, does that make them homotextual?

I think Leviticus frowns on that


Actually, you will find that many people interpret Leviticus in a way which indicates that they must only love one book.
 
2013-04-03 11:02:02 AM

MindStalker: Hell, its also the basic tenets of Satanism (Whatever you want to do is worth it), but I didn't want to go full troll.
From the Satanic Bible.

Satan represents indulgence, instead of abstinence!
Satan represents vital existence, instead of spiritual pipe dreams!
Satan represents undefiled wisdom, instead of hypocritical self-deceit!
Satan represents kindness to those who deserve it, instead of love wasted on ingrates!
Satan represents vengeance, instead of turning the other cheek!
Satan represents responsibility to the responsible, instead of concern for psychic vampires!
Satan represents man as just another animal, sometimes better, more often worse than those that walk on all-fours, who, because of his "divine spiritual and intellectual development," has become the most vicious animal of all!
Satan represents all of the so-called sins, as they all lead to physical, mental, or emotional gratification!
Satan has been the best friend the church has ever had, as he has kept it in business all these years!


Ayn Rand wrote the Satanic Bible?
 
2013-04-03 11:06:32 AM

EyeballKid: MindStalker: Hell, its also the basic tenets of Satanism (Whatever you want to do is worth it), but I didn't want to go full troll.
From the Satanic Bible.

Satan represents indulgence, instead of abstinence!
Satan represents vital existence, instead of spiritual pipe dreams!
Satan represents undefiled wisdom, instead of hypocritical self-deceit!
Satan represents kindness to those who deserve it, instead of love wasted on ingrates!
Satan represents vengeance, instead of turning the other cheek!
Satan represents responsibility to the responsible, instead of concern for psychic vampires!
Satan represents man as just another animal, sometimes better, more often worse than those that walk on all-fours, who, because of his "divine spiritual and intellectual development," has become the most vicious animal of all!
Satan represents all of the so-called sins, as they all lead to physical, mental, or emotional gratification!
Satan has been the best friend the church has ever had, as he has kept it in business all these years!

Ayn Rand wrote the Satanic Bible?


Anton LeVey wrote the Satanic bible based on Ayn Rands principles.
 
2013-04-03 11:08:03 AM

I May Be Crazy But...: stampylives: you cant really look at this picture and tell me that these two arent farking.

or at least some mouth stuff.

[i.imgur.com image 350x512]

See, now I'm a little curious. What IS Hell's secret? All day buffet with lobster tails and crab legs for only $7.99? A nice relaxing massage whenever the stress of suffering for all eternity gets to be too much? What could it be?


Hell soaks its hands in Palmolive.
 
2013-04-03 11:08:38 AM

I May Be Crazy But...: See, now I'm a little curious. What IS Hell's secret? All day buffet with lobster tails and crab legs for only $7.99? A nice relaxing massage whenever the stress of suffering for all eternity gets to be too much? What could it be?


Happy hour starts at 8

But blue laws force the bar to close at 7
 
2013-04-03 11:08:41 AM

FloydA: I May Be Crazy But...: stampylives: you cant really look at this picture and tell me that these two arent farking.

or at least some mouth stuff.

[i.imgur.com image 350x512]

See, now I'm a little curious. What IS Hell's secret? All day buffet with lobster tails and crab legs for only $7.99? A nice relaxing massage whenever the stress of suffering for all eternity gets to be too much? What could it be?

Hell soaks its hands in Palmolive.


Oh, well played.
 
2013-04-03 11:09:18 AM

ADHD Librarian: Ima_Lurker: Greenshuz: If a Bibliophile only loves *one* book, does that make them homotextual?

I think Leviticus frowns on that

Actually, you will find that many people interpret Leviticus in a way which indicates that they must only love one book.


That's the whole monotextual / homotextual debate isn't it?  We are supposed to find a tome of the opposite gender and start raising a family of children's books.
 
2013-04-03 11:09:43 AM

MyKingdomForYourHorse: I May Be Crazy But...: See, now I'm a little curious. What IS Hell's secret? All day buffet with lobster tails and crab legs for only $7.99? A nice relaxing massage whenever the stress of suffering for all eternity gets to be too much? What could it be?

Happy hour starts at 8

But blue laws force the bar to close at 7


I have to believe that there's some things even Satan wouldn't do.
 
2013-04-03 11:17:10 AM
I love the subtle insult he delivers to Ray. "I sincerely apologize for the use of the word 'bibliophile'. It means 'lover of books' as I'm sure you know and I never meant to cast that aspersion upon you."
 
2013-04-03 11:18:42 AM

MindStalker: Pants full of macaroni!!: And these are the people who are trying to codify their beliefs as national policy.

xenophon10k: It's because when your Christian there is no other book but THE BIBLE.

And its companion volume, Atlas Shrugged.

Written by an atheist, inspired by hedonism.



Um. . . no.

http://aynrandlexicon.com/lexicon/hedonism.html


I am profoundly opposed to the philosophy of hedonism. Hedonism is the doctrine which holds that the good is whatever gives you pleasure and, therefore, pleasure is the standard of morality. Objectivism holds that the good must be defined by a rational standard of value, that pleasure is not a first cause, but only a consequence, that only the pleasure which proceeds from a rational value judgment can be regarded as moral, that pleasure, as such, is not a guide to action nor a standard of morality. To say that pleasure should be the standard of morality simply means that whichever values you happen to have chosen, consciously or subconsciously, rationally or irrationally, are right and moral. This means that you are to be guided by chance feelings, emotions and whims, not by your mind. My philosophy is the opposite of hedonism. I hold that one cannot achieve happiness by random, arbitrary or subjective means. One can achieve happiness only on the basis of rational values. By rational values, I do not mean anything that a man may arbitrarily or blindly declare to be rational. It is the province of morality, of the science of ethics, to define for men what is a rational standard and what are the rational values to pursue.

Playboy Interview: Ayn Rand
Playboy, March 1964


/ inigomontoya.jpg
 
2013-04-03 11:21:43 AM

James F. Campbell: Really now, at this point, isn't calling Christians stupid like saying that water is wet? And isn't arguing with them like fishing with dynamite?

And if we hit that bull's-eye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.


There are smart Christians out there.  Its just you don't know about them because smart Christians don't back up everything they say with "You have to believe in everything I believe in because it says so in the Bible."
 
2013-04-03 11:23:46 AM

vygramul: There was a bookstore clerk who corrected someone who asked to see a manager by saying, "It's PERSONager."


I really want to throttle people like that. Being a calm, law-abiding person I don't, but that doesn't mean that somewhere down in my heart of hearts, the whole thing about how stress is caused by the body overriding the brain's natural desire to choke the living shiat out of someone who really deserves it doesn't come into play.

The ones who have "ovulars" because "seminar" is sexist practically send me ballistic. Not to mention the ones who think "history" is "his story".

There really are sex-specific and arguably sexist words in the English language. Some of them could do with being replaced with better words. But any hope of doing so (personally, I'd like to swap out "chairman" for "moderator" or something ... not because of sexism, but because I can't get over how, as a very literal-minded small child, I thought a chairman was someone other people sat on) is made impossible by this kind of crap. It's crying wolf over and over again until a wolf could be in your living room eating your kids and nobody will believe it.

Now, I happen to be a bibliophile. Also a logophile. And I'm somewhat obsessed with etymology (not so much with entomology, but I know my bugs from my beetles). If someone said something stupid like that in my presence, I'd probably deliver a lecture on the etymology of the word and its root in "manus", which they probably wouldn't get, because, y'know, there's that evil "man" in there. I have to wonder why they don't have similar issues with "person" since it's got "son" in it, and it's clearly the sound of the syllables, not the actual derivation of the words, that matters to them. And then they'd throw me out of the store. Such is life.

Just had to rant about that. Those people do bad things to my blood pressure. There are more than enough real problems in the world and these cretins have to go make them up.

/Farkette
//feminist
///logophile
 
2013-04-03 11:25:16 AM

jenny next: There are smart Christians out there.


Smart people tend not to have imaginary friends or believe in silly things when they enter into adulthood.
 
2013-04-03 11:26:11 AM

maxx2112: MindStalker: Pants full of macaroni!!: And these are the people who are trying to codify their beliefs as national policy.

xenophon10k: It's because when your Christian there is no other book but THE BIBLE.

And its companion volume, Atlas Shrugged.

Written by an atheist, inspired by hedonism.


Um. . . no.

http://aynrandlexicon.com/lexicon/hedonism.html


So if I take hedonism and "fix" its issue by declaring that one needs to be rational and not emotional, I've not been inspired by it?
 
2013-04-03 11:27:39 AM

Vodka Zombie: jenny next: There are smart Christians out there.

Smart people tend not to have imaginary friends or believe in silly things when they enter into adulthood.


I'll grant this is the tendency, but it's definitely not universal.
 
2013-04-03 11:30:03 AM
Well folks, I'm off. There is this nice little paperback I have had my eye on for a while and all this talk has got me excited enough to risk making a move. Some of my friends say she is a real page turner, but you can't always listen to gossip. I think I'll take things slowly, just a couple of words. Make sure she know I am not the kind of guy who is going to dog ear her corners. I take precautions, always carry a new bookmark in my wallet, just in case.
I'm a little nervous, it has been a little while since I was with a tome I really connected with. Obviously, there have been others but they were just, cheap things I picked up in coffee shops just to kill some time. Frankly I am ready to find a good text, one which will take me places and (I hope) show me something new, expand my mind a bit (if you know what I mean, and I think you do).
I hear she is educated (Oxford), my only real concern is that she might be a bit young for me. I have heard she doesn't mind an older-reader, but some of your modern types get a bit concerned when you pay too much attention to their descriptors or when you want to look at the relationships more than the action (not that I am too old for the action, I do sometimes have to use a little assistance to give their little words enough attention).
 
2013-04-03 11:31:08 AM

maxx2112: Playboy Interview: Ayn Rand
Playboy, March 1964


She comes up with a moral philosophy in which the highest good a person can do is to make sure they have as much as possible and live as well as possible, regardless of its effect on others. (So long as that doesn't turn them against you in an effective way.) Then she claims it's not related at all to hedonism.

Right...
 
2013-04-03 11:37:20 AM

Worldwalker: I have to wonder why they don't have similar issues with "person" since it's got "son" in it


See, I tend to use my powers for evil, so this is exactly what I would say in such a situation.

"Don't you mean perdaughternager?
 
2013-04-03 11:51:08 AM
I heard he was a shameless extrovert, his sister is a practicing thespian, and he was addicted to celibacy prior to cleaning up and getting married.
 
2013-04-03 11:54:29 AM

Prank Call of Cthulhu: Mostly, though, that's because he thinks "penalize" has something to do with penises.


Well, to be fair, penal institutions usually do.
 
2013-04-03 11:56:50 AM

jenny next: There are smart Christians out there.


They're not the ones running the movement, though.
 
2013-04-03 12:02:32 PM

ADHD Librarian: Well folks, I'm off. There is this nice little paperback I have had my eye on for a while and all this talk has got me excited enough to risk making a move. Some of my friends say she is a real page turner, but you can't always listen to gossip. I think I'll take things slowly, just a couple of words. Make sure she know I am not the kind of guy who is going to dog ear her corners. I take precautions, always carry a new bookmark in my wallet, just in case.
I'm a little nervous, it has been a little while since I was with a tome I really connected with. Obviously, there have been others but they were just, cheap things I picked up in coffee shops just to kill some time. Frankly I am ready to find a good text, one which will take me places and (I hope) show me something new, expand my mind a bit (if you know what I mean, and I think you do).
I hear she is educated (Oxford), my only real concern is that she might be a bit young for me. I have heard she doesn't mind an older-reader, but some of your modern types get a bit concerned when you pay too much attention to their descriptors or when you want to look at the relationships more than the action (not that I am too old for the action, I do sometimes have to use a little assistance to give their little words enough attention).


This thread has made me love you so hard.  Farkied with "Font Boner"
 
2013-04-03 12:06:23 PM
You'd think he'd have been smart enough to look up what bibliophile actually meant before getting all bent out of shape.

\a smart creationist?.......hahahahaha
 
2013-04-03 12:09:24 PM

reillan: So, if I didn't know that word or understand how words were put together, I might have gone as far off the derpy-defensive end as he did.


And if, you know, you didn't have the time to spare to type "define: bibliophile" into google, or pick up a damn dictionary. Of course, either of those options also requires a level of literacy likely beyond Mr. Comfort's.
 
2013-04-03 12:09:49 PM

stampylives: you cant really look at this picture and tell me that these two arent farking.

or at least some mouth stuff.

[i.imgur.com image 350x512]


They do look like a happy couple.
 
2013-04-03 12:14:50 PM
just when i thought the headline was a clever play on the topic it turns out to be what he actually thought.  just .... wow.
 
2013-04-03 12:15:36 PM
If you don't stop exacerbating, you'll go blind.
 
2013-04-03 12:16:51 PM

FloydA: VJStinger: I wonder what he thinks of Audiophiles.

[i105.photobucket.com image 511x280]
Goddam perverts


LOL, good one.
 
2013-04-03 12:18:40 PM

I May Be Crazy But...: See, now I'm a little curious. What IS Hell's secret? All day buffet with lobster tails and crab legs for only $7.99?


That's Hell's Kitchen.
 
2013-04-03 12:21:53 PM

Albert911emt: You'd think he'd have been smart enough to look up what bibliophile actually meant before getting all bent out of shape.

\a smart creationist?.......hahahahaha


He tried:

i236.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-03 12:28:18 PM

Deathfrogg: Prank Call of Cthulhu: Ray Comfort is probably really mad about everyone trying to penalize him for not understanding a word.

Mostly, though, that's because he thinks "penalize" has something to do with penises.

The etymology of the word is exactly that.


No, it isn't.  
Origin:
1400-50; late Middle English < Latin poenālis, equivalent to poen ( a ) penalty (< Greek poinḗ fine) + -ālis
 
2013-04-03 12:28:49 PM

Greenshuz: If a Bibliophile only loves *one* book, does that make them homotextual?


Your newsletter sir belongs in my mailbox
 
2013-04-03 12:39:52 PM

vygramul: Worldwalker: I have to wonder why they don't have similar issues with "person" since it's got "son" in it

See, I tend to use my powers for evil, so this is exactly what I would say in such a situation.

"Don't you mean perdaughternager?


Peroffspringager. This nonsense cuts both ways.
 
2013-04-03 12:48:43 PM
Whatever.  Gaffe.  Though in context, I'm really surprised that he jumped to that conclusion.  Must be off his meds or something.

It still makes me cringe when people are so comfortable in their smug belief.  That book jacket just makes me want to punch some faces.
 
2013-04-03 01:06:08 PM

Jerry Westerby: To his credit, Comfort owned up to being a dumbass and apologized for it.


I'm a little suspicious of that. Comfort isn't ignorant of the excoriation he took from that banana video and has apparently been going around claiming that the video itself was meant to be a joke, rather than a serious thesis on creationism; I'm not sure how effective this defense has been, but he's certainly hoping to mitigate some of the well-earned contempt surrounding him.
 
2013-04-03 01:06:30 PM
well, he died on the cross to cleanse your synonyms.  unless your into homonyms.

Comfort is wound up so tight he needs to take a repository.
 
2013-04-03 01:09:58 PM
 To be fair, he thought it meant "a cross between a pedophile and the Bible"

I assumed this was a joke in the Fark headline. Holy crap.
 
2013-04-03 01:12:05 PM

maxx2112: This is my wife (not in a gay marriage way).  If you use a word she doesn't know, she thinks you've made it up and probably means something stupid.

She used to think that the worst-named car was the Dodge Intrepid, because "intrepid" was a made up car name that sounded too much like "insipid."

No, really . . . I'm not making this up.

/ once made fun of me for mangling "vociferously" the first time I tried to read it aloud.
// makes damned sure that gets pointed out on every "intrepid" opportunity.


No, the worst car name was releasing the Chevy Nova in Mexico.
 
2013-04-03 01:21:04 PM
lol
 
2013-04-03 01:22:44 PM

reillan: To be fair, when I was a moderator for a large Christian group years and years ago, we would constantly get people coming in calling us all sorts of things, highly derogatory and inflammatory.  We were called pedos and worse, we had hackers take over frequently, and even more often people would come in proclaiming to be Christian only to lull us into a false sense of security and begin telling us impossible stories, such as satanic cults the person was a part of, etc.

It put us in a constantly defensive mindset.  So, if I didn't know that word or understand how words were put together, I might have gone as far off the derpy-defensive end as he did.


Came here to say this - seems natural that he probably sees a metric ass-load of crap on any given day. At least he owned up to it.

A lot of my Facebook friends are very hostile towards Christianity and for a while my feed was a constant stream of crap. Stuff like "Scientists discover new species of _____, suck it Christians, where's your God now? LOL Bible thumperz r stoopid" followed up immediately by "This guy burned a Quran, how dare he disrespect someone's personal beliefs like that???"

I came to the conclusion that these friends are
A) Brain damaged
B) Hypocritical
C) Turrists.
D) All of the above.

/Christian
//Live and let live, I say.
///You worship your elephants and fat Zen dudes, I'll worship my zombie. :)
 
2013-04-03 01:26:14 PM
Is he gonna just ban me from his website or from Heaven? Because I don't think he has that power.
 
2013-04-03 01:36:15 PM

dustygrimp: maxx2112: This is my wife (not in a gay marriage way).  If you use a word she doesn't know, she thinks you've made it up and probably means something stupid.

She used to think that the worst-named car was the Dodge Intrepid, because "intrepid" was a made up car name that sounded too much like "insipid."

No, really . . . I'm not making this up.

/ once made fun of me for mangling "vociferously" the first time I tried to read it aloud.
// makes damned sure that gets pointed out on every "intrepid" opportunity.

No, the worst car name was releasing the Chevy Nova in Mexico.



Funny, but apocryphal . . .

http://www.snopes.com/business/misxlate/nova.asp

/ had a '73 Nova
 
2013-04-03 01:42:42 PM

Albert911emt: You'd think he'd have been smart enough to look up what bibliophile actually meant


What?!?!  Like, look up in a book?

If the Bible ain't got nothin' to say 'bout it, it don't exist.  I only use the words Jesus used when he spoke American and not those French froufrou words you athiest all use.  Go back to bein' smart now dummy.
 
2013-04-03 01:49:34 PM

pciszek: Prank Call of Cthulhu: Mostly, though, that's because he thinks "penalize" has something to do with penises.

Well, to be fair, penal institutions usually do.


Which is kind of funny since the modern prison system was born out of the Quakers who would lock people up in solitary in hopes that they were turn 'penitent' and repent their sin
 
2013-04-03 01:54:20 PM
I was just nicely surprised by how courteous the rest of the cited part of the exchange was. Not to side with Ray Comfort, but I can understand how someone running a Christian Facebook page would deal with a lot of trolls and become quick to go on the defensive and react carelessly. That being said, I still think he can go choke on one for his stance on gay marriage and for hanging out with Kirk Cameron.
 
2013-04-03 01:57:13 PM

plewis: Whatever.  Gaffe.


No, this man is an idiot of the highest order.
 
2013-04-03 02:18:41 PM

Vodka Zombie: Albert911emt: You'd think he'd have been smart enough to look up what bibliophile actually meant

What?!?!  Like, look up in a book?

If the Bible ain't got nothin' to say 'bout it, it don't exist.  I only use the words Jesus used when he spoke American and not those French froufrou words you athiest all use.  Go back to bein' smart now dummy.


Drink more vodka, zombie, and get some rest.
 
2013-04-03 02:27:08 PM

Albert911emt: Vodka Zombie: Albert911emt: You'd think he'd have been smart enough to look up what bibliophile actually meant

What?!?!  Like, look up in a book?

If the Bible ain't got nothin' to say 'bout it, it don't exist.  I only use the words Jesus used when he spoke American and not those French froufrou words you athiest all use.  Go back to bein' smart now dummy.

Drink more vodka, zombie, and get some rest.


Hey!  I was going for rednecky Bible-loon, and not my usual drunk, tired, mostly un-dead persona.

Dammit.

Fine.  I'll go drink.

BUT ONLY BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT MY REAL MOM!
 
2013-04-03 02:32:44 PM
"In the beginning there was the word..."

/can't believe it took this long
 
2013-04-03 02:44:30 PM

2wolves: "In the beginning there was the word..."



media.tumblr.com
 
2013-04-03 02:50:24 PM

Vodka Zombie: Albert911emt: Vodka Zombie: Albert911emt: You'd think he'd have been smart enough to look up what bibliophile actually meant

What?!?!  Like, look up in a book?

If the Bible ain't got nothin' to say 'bout it, it don't exist.  I only use the words Jesus used when he spoke American and not those French froufrou words you athiest all use.  Go back to bein' smart now dummy.

Drink more vodka, zombie, and get some rest.

Hey!  I was going for rednecky Bible-loon, and not my usual drunk, tired, mostly un-dead persona.

Dammit.

Fine.  I'll go drink.

BUT ONLY BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT MY REAL MOM!


It's a damn good thing there's no way you zombies can ever take over the planet.
 
2013-04-03 03:34:14 PM

FitzShivering: So, while the dude is an ignorant fundy, he apologized for being ignorant and said he's still learning.  I'd give him at least a +0.1 for that.


I'll give him that, then deduct 100 for encountering a word unknown to him while connected to the Internet and deciding to guess its meaning and throw a public fit instead of, you know, looking it up.
 
2013-04-03 03:44:59 PM
I'm a Christian and a bibliophile.  Am I to be sent to a re-education camp or something?

 
2013-04-03 03:59:37 PM

Galileo's Daughter: I'm a Christian and a bibliophile.  Am I to be sent to a re-education camp or something?


So you're a priest?
 
2013-04-03 04:13:10 PM

AAlumni: AAlumni: jfarkinB: Jerry Westerby: To his credit, Comfort owned up to being a dumbass and apologized for it.

This. I'm not sure about the whole believe-in-the-Zombie-or-else bit, but I'm all about forgiving people who recognize their mistakes and repent, especially if they learn from it.

Agreed. Remember: Don't act nubianrdly when issuing apologies for this kinda thing.

__________________

You're kidding. The filter changes the word to 'nubianrdly'? That's farking ridiculous. Even for Fark.


nubianrdly.
 
2013-04-03 05:35:26 PM

Deathfrogg: Anton LeVey wrote the Satanic bible based on Ayn Rands principles.


Ayn Rand is the devil?
 
2013-04-03 06:06:12 PM

dready zim: Deathfrogg: Anton LeVey wrote the Satanic bible based on Ayn Rands principles.

Ayn Rand is the devil?


i105.photobucket.com
The devil would never wear that had.  He's got style.
 
2013-04-03 06:06:47 PM
hat
 
2013-04-03 06:34:51 PM
Not so much a matter of "christians" as it is a select few highly publicized loudmouths who flaunt their stupidity as a badge of honor. They welcome conflict like this, it strengthens them. Other bafflingly stupid, insecure, and opnionated idiots flock to it.

"Here's a guy who doesn't like them fancy words or uncomfortable ideas in that high school science class I failed or any of those frightening weirdos on the internet! I like him!"

That's even scarier than religious indoctrination, because it's so much simpler. Offering mental security to idiots is tremendously lucrative, regardless of the message. I'm still undecided whether stubborn creationists actually believe their own BS, but it doesn't matter either way. Their message persists because it's too exasperating to chase down, and they profit from it so they'll put up with a few knocks to keep it going.

Besides shouting louder about how the US education system is abysmal, what the hell else can you do to combat that?
 
2013-04-03 06:55:11 PM

xenophon10k: Jon iz teh kewl: that cause when your christian
you don't need to read nothin
you know what books are about before you even read them
thanks god

It's because when your Christian there is no other book but THE BIBLE. SO DON'T YOU DARE CALL ANY CHRISTIAN A "LOVER" OF BOOKS. THEY AREN'T PERVERTED BOOK-LOVERS! WHARGARRBL!


FUN FACT.  BIBLE IS SPANISH FOR "BIBLIOTECA"
 
2013-04-03 08:25:29 PM
I can see why he might not know what the word meant, because its not too common, but he's too stupid to even google it?
 
2013-04-03 08:47:43 PM
Cutting a hole in a melon is just too life-like for some people, so they resort to cutting holes in the Bible and having their way with it. To be fair, it is a nice plump tome that's chock full of crazy sex.
 
2013-04-03 09:05:47 PM

scalpod: Cutting a hole in a melon is just too life-like for some people, so they resort to cutting holes in the Bible and having their way with it. To be fair, it is a nice plump tome that's chock full of crazy sex.


Maybe it's all the paper-cuts that puts so many preachers in such a foul mood.
 
2013-04-03 10:19:46 PM

I May Be Crazy But...: stampylives: you cant really look at this picture and tell me that these two arent farking.

or at least some mouth stuff.

[i.imgur.com image 350x512]

See, now I'm a little curious. What IS Hell's secret? All day buffet with lobster tails and crab legs for only $7.99? A nice relaxing massage whenever the stress of suffering for all eternity gets to be too much? What could it be?


Only Hell's hairdresser knows for sure.
 
2013-04-03 11:59:29 PM
This is satire, right?  No one is that stupid, right?  Right?
 
2013-04-04 12:02:22 AM

Greenshuz: If a Bibliophile only loves *one* book, does that make them homotextual?


nice one
 
2013-04-04 12:06:20 AM

FloydA: dready zim: Deathfrogg: Anton LeVey wrote the Satanic bible based on Ayn Rands principles.

Ayn Rand is the devil?

[i105.photobucket.com image 274x258]
The devil would never wear that had.  He's got style.


She looks French.
 
2013-04-04 12:50:02 AM
I've been making a point to really recognize and compliment Christians around me who are not the stereotypical asshole fundamentalists.  To encourage them and to point out the difference.  There are plenty who actually try to live by Jesus' message (and not supply side Jesus).
 
2013-04-04 05:12:34 AM

jenny next: James F. Campbell: Really now, at this point, isn't calling Christians stupid like saying that water is wet? And isn't arguing with them like fishing with dynamite?

And if we hit that bull's-eye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.

There are smart Christians out there.  Its just you don't know about them because smart Christians don't back up everything they say with "You have to believe in everything I believe in because it says so in the Bible."


I have met intelligent Christians. I am not impressed with the mental gymnastics they go through in order to retain their belief.
 
2013-04-04 08:13:25 AM

Galileo's Daughter: I'm a Christian and a bibliophile.  Am I to be sent to a re-education camp or something?


Nope.  A de-education camp.
 
2013-04-04 10:34:37 AM

James F. Campbell: I have met intelligent Christians. I am not impressed with the mental gymnastics they go through in order to retain their belief.


And this is a bog part of how I found myself ad lost god in a monastery.  I simply could not knowingly and willingly suppress rational thought as a lifestyle.
 
2013-04-04 10:53:28 AM
Hilarious.
 
2013-04-04 12:26:13 PM

Diagonal: AAlumni: AAlumni: jfarkinB: Jerry Westerby: To his credit, Comfort owned up to being a dumbass and apologized for it.

This. I'm not sure about the whole believe-in-the-Zombie-or-else bit, but I'm all about forgiving people who recognize their mistakes and repent, especially if they learn from it.

Agreed. Remember: Don't act nubianrdly when issuing apologies for this kinda thing.

__________________

You're kidding. The filter changes the word to 'nubianrdly'? That's farking ridiculous. Even for Fark.

nubianrdly.


heystupid.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-04-04 11:00:39 PM
nubianrdly is a real word, though! AND IT'S NOT RACIST!


/Yes, I worked around the filter.
//No, I won't do it again, modmins.
 
2013-04-04 11:01:17 PM
HA!
 
2013-04-04 11:44:34 PM
nubianrdly would be a great fark handle.  or xbox login.

/wasnt filterpwnded
//really typed nubianrdly
 
2013-04-05 08:43:21 AM

Benevolent Misanthrope: And this is a bog part of how I found myself ad lost god in a monastery. I simply could not knowingly and willingly suppress rational thought as a lifestyle.


Good!

I was told the other day by someone who got extremely offended with my existence after I politely told her that I am an atheist. "Eternity is a long time," she threatened. She threatened me!

Me: "There are people who are born, who live, and who die without ever having heard of Christ. For thousands of years. Those cultures all have their own religions."
Her: "All of those religions are false."

The sheer myopia and arrogance of what she said... it's just staggering to me.
 
2013-04-05 10:44:49 AM

RobSeace: Diagonal: AAlumni: AAlumni: jfarkinB: Jerry Westerby: To his credit, Comfort owned up to being a dumbass and apologized for it.

This. I'm not sure about the whole believe-in-the-Zombie-or-else bit, but I'm all about forgiving people who recognize their mistakes and repent, especially if they learn from it.

Agreed. Remember: Don't act nubianrdly when issuing apologies for this kinda thing.

__________________

You're kidding. The filter changes the word to 'nubianrdly'? That's farking ridiculous. Even for Fark.

nubianrdly.

[heystupid.files.wordpress.com image 480x320]


So it would seem if you start with nig and then add ger it changes to successful etc but if you add gar it changes to nubian?

Why make them different?
 
2013-04-05 10:53:07 AM

dready zim: So it would seem if you start with nig and then add ger it changes to successful etc but if you add gar it changes to nubian?


It's just the first 5 letters, without the r which cause the change... Because that's a word (of sorts) of its own... Which is why you end up with "nubianrdly" (with the "r" still in place)...

Why different from the -er version? Who knows... The filter cannot be reasoned with or understood by mortal men... (Just be thankful it doesn't usually catch the words backwards anymore, like it used to do... That ended up wtih some bizarre substitutions... "Tea bagging" was one I remember: it became "tea bnaibung"...)
 
Displayed 176 of 176 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report