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(Talking Points Memo)   Pat Robertson complains that Americans have gotten too educated to be fooled by God's pranks   (talkingpointsmemo.com) divider line 434
    More: Amusing, Pat Robertson, Ivy League, god, Americans, Christian Broadcasting Network, miracles  
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18927 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Apr 2013 at 4:35 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-02 10:05:13 PM  
I asked Mary her thoughts on this and that's what she said.
 
2013-04-02 10:26:51 PM  
So, the rest of us who didn't go to Ivy League schools should expect... something?
 
2013-04-02 11:57:11 PM  
Why do you think Republicans keep slashing education budgets?
 
2013-04-02 11:59:16 PM  

This About That: So, the rest of us who didn't go to Ivy League schools should expect... something?


A miraculously lower paycheck?
 
2013-04-03 12:03:45 AM  
But he leg pressed. 2,000 lbs because of the magical protein shakes he drank and happens to be peddling. Give me the rev. Melissa Scott anytime!!!!!
 
2013-04-03 12:06:43 AM  
When he went from burning bushes to water stained showers and over-cooked tortillas I lost respect
 
2013-04-03 12:09:24 AM  

abb3w: This About That: So, the rest of us who didn't go to Ivy League schools should expect... something?

A miraculously lower paycheck?


How dare you question the job creators!!!!
 
2013-04-03 12:12:21 AM  
Dear Pat,

Africa might be experiencing more "miracles" than the U.S.,but they're also persecuting and even killing people for being witches, including young children. Albinos in Africa are being killed and dismembered for their body parts.

I choose being too sophisticated over acting barbaric any day of the week.

FOAD

Me
 
2013-04-03 12:37:02 AM  
Forget what science has explained and everything will seem like a miracle.

The glowing fiery orb in the sky you see each day?  God does that.  And he's so excellent at it they way he drags it around each day that it never wavers or varies at all in it's duration.

He's THAT good.
 
2013-04-03 12:39:28 AM  
I believe.

www.northwesternflipside.com
 
2013-04-03 12:47:23 AM  
Moses:  Oh Lord, please deliver us from the Egyptians!  I call upon you to part the Red Sea that your chosen people might flee our pursuers!

Moses raises his staff to the heavens and then slams it into the Red Sea.  Nothing happens.  He tries again.  Nothing happens.  Annoyed, Moses turns back to the Hebrews.

Moses:  Ok, who's being skeptical?

The Hebrews look back and forth at each other.  All eyes eventually focus on Aaron.

Moses:  Aaron?  Are you using the scientific method again?
Aaron:  What?  No!  Not after that staff-to-snake fiasco!
Moses:  Ok, good.  Let's try this again.
Aaron:  It's just-
Moses:  *sigh*  What?
Aaron:  You're talking about moving several million cubic feet of water here.
Moses:  Such is the power of faith.
Aaron:  Yeah, but there's still the issue of the laws of thermodynamics.  I mean, you're causing a localized decrease in entropy, so that has to manifest somewhere.
Moses:  Damnit Aaron.
Aaron:  I mean, what if this causes a volcano in the Mediterranean or something?
Moses:  Shut up Aaron.  *ahem*  Oh Lord-
Aaron:  And what about the mud?
Moses:  What mud?
Aaron:  On the sea floor!  I mean, that stuff has been soaking for thousands of years.  You're really going to try and move ten thousand people and their animals and carts through that mess?
Moses:  God will send a mighty wind to dry the land.
Aaron:  Yeah, that's the problem.  The Egyptians are like a mile behind us.  That mighty wind would have to be hurricane force to dry the mud out fast enough.
Moses:  *sigh*
Aaron:  I suppose we could all just jump up in the air and let God's mighty wind blow us across.
Moses:  Aren't you a priest?
Aaron:  Yeah, but I'm not a very good one.
Moses:  No shiat.  Can I get on with the miracle now?
Aaron:  Sure, no problem.  I'll try to turn my brain off for a few minutes.
Moses:  Thank you.  *ahem*  Oh Lord-
Aaron:  What are we going to eat when we get over there?
Moses:  *sigh*  I don't know, mana from heaven.
Aaron:  Oh, great.  *wanking motion*
 
2013-04-03 01:18:15 AM  
Pat Robertson is proof that plenty of Americans still don't know any better.
 
2013-04-03 01:19:40 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: When he went from burning bushes to water stained showers and over-cooked tortillas I lost respect


There was a time when you had respect for Pat Robertson?
 
2013-04-03 01:22:58 AM  

timujin: MaudlinMutantMollusk: When he went from burning bushes to water stained showers and over-cooked tortillas I lost respect

There was a time when you had respect for Pat Robertson?


Yes

/just before I heard him say anything for the first time
//I like to start everyone out even and let them shoot and/or chew their own feet
 
2013-04-03 01:23:06 AM  
The very first 'miracle' in Africa that came to mind was when police in Nigeria, were trying to arrest an armed robber, he ran into an alley, and by the time they caught him he had already used witchcraft to turn himself into a goat, so they arrested the goat.
Seriously.

/The Linked article doesn't include all of the details, but if you don't believe it, just Google "police nigeria goat".

Here's another link.
 
2013-04-03 01:31:43 AM  
That's both hilarious and sad.
 
2013-04-03 01:48:03 AM  

Bathia_Mapes: Dear Pat,

Africa might be experiencing more "miracles" than the U.S.,but they're also persecuting and even killing people for being witches, including young children. Albinos in Africa are being killed and dismembered for their body parts.

I choose being too sophisticated over acting barbaric any day of the week.

FOAD

Me


Well it's not like believing in magical magic, and killing over magical magic aren't related.


Why do miracles "happen with great frequency in Africa, and not here in the USA?" asked a 700 Club patron Ken. "People overseas didn't go to Ivy League schools," Robertson replied with a chuckle.

"We are so sophisticated, we think we've got everything figured out," the Christian Broadcasting Network chairman continued. "We know about evolution, we know about Darwin, we know about all these things that says God isn't real, we know about all this stuff."

According to Robertson, it's the "skepticism and secularism" that is being taught at "the most advanced schools" around the country that is keeping God's miracles at bay.


Roberton's right. The fact he's disappointed, and that others agree with him, should scare the shat out of people.

One in a million miracles don't happen where people can explain why stuff happens, and that the million to one shot chance was a certainty with the billions of chances that occur every day. Christ, we have a lottery that has a 150 million to one shot chance, and someone wins it nearly every month.
 
2013-04-03 01:49:51 AM  
A Harvard educated black man got elected to this nation's highest office.

Seems to me that there are miracles aplenty, and even related to those Ivy League Ivory Towers...
 
2013-04-03 01:55:57 AM  

impaler: "We know about evolution, we know about Darwin, we know about all these things that says God isn't real,


One more thing, evolution and Darwin don't even touch about God being real, you lying shatbag Robertson.

They just show that mythical stories about creation, that have God creating creatures in a poof of magic, are wrong. The deists with their clock-maker god, have a more complex and awe inspiring creator than your parlor-trick magician that only fit for entertainment at children's birthdays.
 
2013-04-03 02:22:04 AM  
Coming from a guy who went to Yale
 
2013-04-03 02:32:25 AM  
Here's the thing about Pat, is that for him, he sees the Universe, in its glory, and he thinks that his God is reduced by the knowledge.

I see the vastness of the Universe, the intricacy of even a chunk of coal, the carbon that can be pressured into diamond, and I see wonders. I see wonders each and every day. And those wonders are even more amazing as I learn more and more. I'm hardly alone in this. That life could arise on this planet, when so many even within our own solar system sort of got zilch on that market, that's a miracle in itself. That this life could form more than just colonies of single cells, is a miracle in itself. That life, that began in the oceans, could slip free of the bonds of Mother Ocean, and walk on the land, take in breath, that is a miracle in itself. That this life could suffer setback and disaster after disaster, and even scoured of major links in the ecological chain, and return again, diverse and filling the roles that other massive creatures served, that is a miracle in itself. That homo sapiens could organize beyond scattered troops, and form language, that is a miracle in itself. That these homo sapiens could spread beyond Africa, to every continent, to spread and flourish, that is a miracle in itself. That these former plains walkers, who hunted antelope by running them to death, could stare back at their mother continent, from space, in vessels that they built, that is a miracle in itself.

Pat doesn't see miracles, because he is blind to them, and lacks the imagination and intellect to understand just how wondrous the Creation really is. That in his palm, in the very atoms of the skin cells that he sloughs off, contain the same stuff as stars. He is right, in a way, that many cannot see the miracles that occur every single day, and those that are blind to them, keep insisting that it's someone else's fault.

But as he is blind, and refuses to believe, he won't see what's right in front of him, and won't reach out to grasp it. And that is sad making to me. Because I am a theist, and the more I learn, the larger, more complex, and more wondrous the Universe is to me. Pat won't see them either, because he lacks imagination...
 
2013-04-03 03:16:47 AM  
Pat's right. We're educated singularity stupid and can't understand the four simultaneous days.
 
2013-04-03 04:43:18 AM  
In the beginning, God created a petting zoo, for He was all-mighty bored. Now the petting zoo was formless and empty, and it was totally dark, and the Spirit of God did dither.

And God said, "let there be light," and there was light. God knew that the light was good, for He could finally see what He was doing. God called the light "day," and the darkness He called "night."

And God said, "this garden is way too zen. Let plants grow all over the place; plants that flower and bear fruit, and plants that bear green leaves to make Me happy. And also some mushrooms that help bring out the colors." And it was so. God made the plants according to His wishes, and God saw that it was good.

And God said, "let the ponds teem with koi and guppies, and let the pink flamingos fly above the garden and walk in the grass." And it was so. God made the animals according to his wishes, and God saw that it was good.

And God said, "this petting zoo is boring. Let the land produce fluffy white sheep, cute kittens and accessory pets. And goats. I like goats." And it was so. God made the animals according to His needs, and God saw that it was good.

Then God said, "Let us make something that looks a bit like Me, so that I may rule over them. They may in turn rule over the fish and the sheep and all that."

So God created Man in his own image,
in the image of God he created them;
Male and female he created them.
And when the first Man had tired of the first Woman's incessant nagging,
God created for him a new female,
this one of the male's own rib.

God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and do whatever the hell you want with it, for you are the cleverest of all My creations. But do not eat from that tree over there. Yes, that tree. Do not eat from it. I will effing kill you."

God saw all that He had made, and it was very good indeed.

Thus the heavens and the earth were completed in all their vast array.

By the seventh day God had finished the work He had been doing; so on the seventh day He rested from all His work. Then God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because He wanted to spend some time with the sheep.
 
2013-04-03 04:48:29 AM  
According to Robertson, it's the "skepticism and secularism" that is being taught at "the most advanced schools" around the country that is keeping God's miracles at bay.

You know what I get from this?

Skepticism and secularism is MORE POWERFUL THAN GOD!

Where is your god now?
 
2013-04-03 04:49:49 AM  
So, Pat's saying there's more Coke bottles in Africa now?
 
2013-04-03 04:53:16 AM  
One look at education spending from Reagan to present should reassure him.
 
2013-04-03 04:54:51 AM  
Just wait... Pretty soon he and his sheeple will be demanding the destruction of the Department of Education.
 
2013-04-03 04:56:42 AM  
 I still worship 60s-era Mrs. Robinson, and this man won't take it from me

/just fired up the soundtrack
 
2013-04-03 04:56:49 AM  
just sayin..... being right is not the same as being survival oriented.
the people that he appeals to; produce (many) more children that will be like them.

while most of you that ive read so far; are likely smart and have 2 or fewer children (assumption )

rather than complaining about robertson and his followers ( valid indeed): might you spend some thought on how to either
prepare for living in a religious state or how to prevent same?

(or rather-at current birth rates and noting that birth rates vary inversely to education and/or intellegence, estimate at what year the robertson-followers out number the rational)
 
2013-04-03 04:57:54 AM  
Well, yes.  In a third-world country that's only civilized by 13th century standards at best, it's a miracle when a gunfight breaks out and you avoid getting shot, or your crops yield an unexpectedly good return, or you avoid injury from a bad fall or animal attack.

In the actual first-world that's civilized by modern standards, primarily due to the skepticism and education he mentions, we have taken active measures to prevent gunfights from breaking out constantly, our agriculture is a science and not an art mixed with vague gambler's prayers, and we practice modern medicine so that a broken leg is six weeks of inconvence rather than between a month and a lifetime of poverty and starvation.  So being un-shot, not starving, and uninjured is the normal state of things, and easily explained so therefore not miraculous.

One of those side-effects of not relying on magic to care for your needs is that once you've put the initial work in those needs tend to be cared for.  Who knew.

//Well, obviously religious people don't know, they're morons.
 
2013-04-03 04:59:23 AM  

Bathia_Mapes: Dear Pat,

Africa might be experiencing more "miracles" than the U.S.,but they're also persecuting and even killing people for being witches, including young children. Albinos in Africa are being killed and dismembered for their body parts.

I choose being too sophisticated over acting barbaric any day of the week.

FOAD

Me


Pat's response: "See!! We could learn so many good things from these Africans you speak of. We should be doing those things here in America. And to encourage people, those that do should receive a tax break.
 
2013-04-03 05:00:22 AM  

Bucky Katt: Pat Robertson is proof that plenty of Americans still don't know any better.


If anything, Pat Robertson is proof of Satan.
 
2013-04-03 05:02:45 AM  

hubiestubert: Here's the thing about Pat, is that for him, he sees the Universe, in its glory, and he thinks that his God is reduced by the knowledge.

I see the vastness of the Universe, the intricacy of even a chunk of coal, the carbon that can be pressured into diamond, and I see wonders. I see wonders each and every day. And those wonders are even more amazing as I learn more and more. I'm hardly alone in this. That life could arise on this planet, when so many even within our own solar system sort of got zilch on that market, that's a miracle in itself. That this life could form more than just colonies of single cells, is a miracle in itself. That life, that began in the oceans, could slip free of the bonds of Mother Ocean, and walk on the land, take in breath, that is a miracle in itself. That this life could suffer setback and disaster after disaster, and even scoured of major links in the ecological chain, and return again, diverse and filling the roles that other massive creatures served, that is a miracle in itself. That homo sapiens could organize beyond scattered troops, and form language, that is a miracle in itself. That these homo sapiens could spread beyond Africa, to every continent, to spread and flourish, that is a miracle in itself. That these former plains walkers, who hunted antelope by running them to death, could stare back at their mother continent, from space, in vessels that they built, that is a miracle in itself.

Pat doesn't see miracles, because he is blind to them, and lacks the imagination and intellect to understand just how wondrous the Creation really is. That in his palm, in the very atoms of the skin cells that he sloughs off, contain the same stuff as stars. He is right, in a way, that many cannot see the miracles that occur every single day, and those that are blind to them, keep insisting that it's someone else's fault.

But as he is blind, and refuses to believe, he won't see what's right in front of him, and won't reach out to grasp it. And that is sad making to me. Because I am a theist, and the more I learn, the larger, more complex, and more wondrous the Universe is to me. Pat won't see them either, because he lacks imagination...


THIS
 
2013-04-03 05:03:41 AM  

hubiestubert: I see the vastness of the Universe, the intricacy of even a chunk of coal, the carbon that can be pressured into diamond, and I see wonders. I see wonders each and every day...


Sorry, you wrote something great, but.. you forced this song back into my head.

cdn2-b.examiner.com
 
2013-04-03 05:05:00 AM  

hubiestubert:
Pat doesn't see miracles, because he is blind to them, and lacks the imagination and intellect to understand just how wondrous the Creation really is. That in his palm, in the very atoms of the skin cells that he sloughs off, contain the same stuff as stars. He is right, in a way, that many cannot see the miracles that occur every single day, and those that are blind to them, keep insisting that it's someone else's fault.

But as he is blind, and refuses to believe, he won't see what's right in front of him, and won't reach out to grasp it. ...


i.imgur.com
i.imgur.com

Carl Sagan had a better grasp on theology, and ICP had a better grasp on science, than Pat Robertson ever had on either.
 
2013-04-03 05:06:59 AM  

bindlestiff2600: (or rather-at current birth rates and noting that birth rates vary inversely to education and/or intellegence, estimate at what year the robertson-followers out number the rational)


Except you've sort of got your cause and effect mixed up there.  The bulk of the evidence seems to indicate that education and intelligence (and successful behaviors in modern society in general) cause low birth rates, not the other way around.

Without going into specifics of studies and papers, the scenario you're proposing is easily falsified by pointing out that more religious/devout people have been having more children than the secular-focused in the western world since the 1600s, and the gap has widened dramatically over the last century or two, but the overall devotion of the population has dropped dramatically in that time (at least as measured by the demographers).

//This is usually called "the idiocracy fallacy" due to the comedy of the same name that takes it as the central premise (albeit not seriously), but I have no clue if that's the actual name for it.
 
2013-04-03 05:15:02 AM  

hubiestubert: That life could arise on this planet, when so many even within our own solar system sort of got zilch on that market, that's a miracle in itself. That this life could form more than just colonies of single cells, is a miracle in itself. That life, that began in the oceans, could slip free of the bonds of Mother Ocean, and walk on the land, take in breath, that is a miracle in itself.


Point of order, "wonder" and "miracle" are not synonyms.  While all that is pretty cool, it's in no way magical and in fact if you get much past undergrad chemistry it's a pretty obvious statistical inevitability given the starting conditions.  You being mystified by something and something being mystical are not at all the same thing, the fact that I don't know the fine details of macroeconomic theory doesn't make inflation in fiat currencies an ineffable work of a superior divine being.

From your Google definitions:

mir·a·cle
/ˈmirikəl/
Noun
1. A surprising and welcome event that is not explicable by natural or scientific laws and is considered to be divine.
2. A highly improbable or extraordinary event, development, or accomplishment.
 The things you're talking about (which, again, I'm not disputing the coolness of) do not fit either definition.  They're neither particularly surprising nor in contravention of known scientific law.  Pat's got the right of this one, or at least he appears to actually know what the word means a bit better than you.
 
2013-04-03 05:21:52 AM  

This About That: So, the rest of us who didn't go to Ivy League schools should expect... something?


1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-04-03 05:35:28 AM  
In a way he is correct.  If something doesn't fit belief system, we have pretty strong impulses to rationalize the world to fit our expectations of it, even at a subconscious level.
 
2013-04-03 05:39:18 AM  
Shhh, Pat, you're going to ruin for the rest of the theist elite that are so very dependent on peoples belief in god... I mean what's going to happen if people finally figure out that people like you are actually only in this because of the money and the power?

There's a very good reason religion has a long standing animosity toward any form of education it doesn't strictly control. There's a very good reason religious leaders have always used their power to stifle and even eradicate science where ever they can.

It's got nothing to do with god, of faith, or anything else supernatural but the very natural and ugly side of humanity. Like so many despicable people, you want power over other people. Some people choose political policies that let them do that, others use brutal force, and some come to us smiling with an open hand promising us such nice things.

Only that hand isn't there to help, or to greet us, it's only there to take our money. Here you are, all but confessing that deep down in your heart you know the ugly truth of what you really are but the human mind is funny. It can convince itself of almost anything. Histories greatest monsters almost all university convinced themselves they were doing the right thing after all but you just can't help it... You have to wistfully dream of a time and a place where people like you could use your power to shut down anyone that threatened the cash flow in to your coffers.

If only people were a little bit stupider and not so willing to learn. If only they were content to be ignorant. That would be so much easier for you.
 
2013-04-03 05:39:58 AM  
Who knew an omnipotent being could be thwarted by an education?
 
2013-04-03 05:42:51 AM  

Rabid Badger Beaver Weasel: So, Pat's saying there's more Coke bottles in Africa now?


She's got flowers on her panties.
 
2013-04-03 05:43:42 AM  
So high-school dropouts and tweakers and massive head trauma cases can expect an uptick in miracles in their lives? Sweet. They're the ones who need 'em most.
 
2013-04-03 05:44:12 AM  

digistil: Bucky Katt: Pat Robertson is proof that plenty of Americans still don't know any better.

If anything, Pat Robertson is proof of Satan.


Amen.  That man, with his self-righteous, judgmental, holier-than-thou proclamations, chases more people away from God than any science course ever could.  Pat, go read the Bible, and pay close attention to what Jesus said, especially about the religious leaders of his day.
 
2013-04-03 05:44:57 AM  

Bathia_Mapes: Dear Pat,

Africa might be experiencing more "miracles" than the U.S.,but they're also persecuting and even killing people for being witches, including young children. Albinos in Africa are being killed and dismembered for their body parts.

I choose being too sophisticated over acting barbaric any day of the week.

FOAD

Me


Came to mention the albino fetish, see you've it covered...
 
2013-04-03 05:49:28 AM  
Where is your god now?

Laughing at yet another anti faith thread on Fark.
 
2013-04-03 05:53:49 AM  
what one of god's pranks may look like:

encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
 
2013-04-03 05:54:13 AM  

Kurmudgeon: Where is your god now?

Laughing at yet another anti faith thread on Fark.


Meh...more anti-idiocy and/or distrust of a charlatan. But you already knew that.
 
2013-04-03 05:54:25 AM  
bazinga!

-god
 
2013-04-03 05:54:48 AM  
Sheep vs Goats

There's a "Lamb of God" joke in there somewhere, but I'm too tired to pull it out.
 
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