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(Patch)   "The man was fired last month after bringing a dead bird to work and claiming it was his mother, according to police"   (fortstewart.patch.com) divider line 55
    More: Strange, Chili, Liberty County  
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4640 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Apr 2013 at 5:11 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-02 03:54:30 PM  
"Poor Flopsey's dead and never called me mother"

/yea... it was a rabbit..
 
2013-04-02 03:59:51 PM  
i.imgur.com
Oblig
 
2013-04-02 04:05:23 PM  
She's just restin'
 
2013-04-02 04:18:13 PM  
idontknowwhatiexpected.jpg
 
2013-04-02 04:19:34 PM  
My Mother the Macaw?
 
2013-04-02 04:25:14 PM  
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-04-02 05:14:40 PM  
Was she pining for the fjords?
 
2013-04-02 05:15:14 PM  

Uzzah: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 500x497]


Darn youz!
 
2013-04-02 05:16:46 PM  

Babwa Wawa: [i.imgur.com image 304x236]
Oblig


Uzzah: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 500x497]


Well, my work here is done.
 
2013-04-02 05:17:06 PM  
Maybe he was in the Partridge Family.
 
2013-04-02 05:17:22 PM  
i294.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-02 05:18:13 PM  
Poor guy. He was homeless and managed to land a job where the boss didn't mind that his mailing address was fake. Too bad he's probably crazy.
 
2013-04-02 05:18:41 PM  
A bird in the hand is worth two in your bush.
 
2013-04-02 05:19:36 PM  
cdn.gunaxin.com

Mother!
 
2013-04-02 05:20:06 PM  
It would be a little bit more understandable if he had said my mother, Norma.
 
2013-04-02 05:22:52 PM  

Uzzah: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 500x497]


*shakes tiny fist*
 
2013-04-02 05:23:28 PM  

Uzzah: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 500x497]


files-cdn.formspring.me
 
2013-04-02 05:28:46 PM  
FTFA: The manager told police that the suspect had been fired around March 15 for bringing a dead bird to work, having it in his hands when close to customers' food, and "informing everyone the dead bird was his mother," according to the report.


Heck, back when I worked at Chili's in the early 90's that was considered a normal Friday night. All the managers cared about was you showing up to cover you shift so they didn't have to.
 
2013-04-02 05:34:10 PM  
Was the guy's last name Tesla?
 
2013-04-02 05:37:27 PM  
What kind of company fires you for bringing your mom in to work?
 
2013-04-02 05:38:49 PM  

GeneralJim:

What kind of company fires you for bringing your mom in to work?
Hawkward...
 
2013-04-02 05:48:25 PM  
What's the word?

/ ask Peter Griffin
 
2013-04-02 05:48:45 PM  
And I am sure there are plenty of liberal evolutionists that would probably not have a problem making this kind of leap.
 
2013-04-02 05:50:27 PM  
basementrejects.com
 
2013-04-02 05:52:41 PM  

GungFu: Mother!


came to avoid making the monty python reference, and to say a boy's best friend is his mother. beat me to psycho. good work.
 
2013-04-02 05:53:16 PM  

GeneralJim: What kind of company fires you for bringing your mom in to work?


No kidding. I mean, with all the fiscal irresponsibility in the world, and they pile on the guy just trying to leave the nest?
 
2013-04-02 05:54:36 PM  

airplayne: And I am sure there are plenty of liberal evolutionists that would probably not have a problem making this kind of leap.


That only counted toward 40% of your mark. To complete scoring, we will require an essay of no less than 20 words complete with multicolor text and bible verses.
 
2013-04-02 05:56:21 PM  
200 words. My intelligently designed phone is conspiring against me.
 
2013-04-02 05:58:10 PM  

Bartle J.: [basementrejects.com image 600x344]


came for this....
 
2013-04-02 06:00:56 PM  
Deeeeeaad biirrrrrrrrd. Goooonnnnaa put it ooonnn yoooou...

/STAAAAHHHHHHPPP!
 
2013-04-02 06:09:00 PM  

KrispyKritter: What's the word?

/ ask Peter Griffin


Also, The Big Bopper?
 
2013-04-02 06:11:02 PM  
Was this before or after he threw egg salad at CCNY lecturers?
 
2013-04-02 06:20:02 PM  
Well, I Swan.  This is certainly aviary fowl play.  Owl just suggest that he Tweet it.  It takes Ostrich of the imagination to think that these Bittern, Raven lunatics can't Sparrow few minutes to let a Mom Rooster wander around.  The boss sucks Cockatiel if there is a Cardinal rule on moms.  If so, it's the worst I feather seen.  Toucan play at this game!  He Finched, and Dove out of the way.  I don't give a flock if you were just winging it on a Lark.  I'm going out on a limb from Heron in, and I'll say you're going to Egret it.  Do you think I need a Whippoorwill my pimp hand be enough to Tern you around?  And, Mom?  You GO, Gull!
 
2013-04-02 06:21:41 PM  
I once saw a hobo try to give a fat dead pigeon mouth to mouth resuscitation.  It ruined my day.
 
2013-04-02 06:28:13 PM  
Customers also complained about his insistence on the lack of any drop to drink, when there was clearly water, water, everywhere.
 
2013-04-02 06:29:00 PM  

GeneralJim: GeneralJim: What kind of company fires you for bringing your mom in to work?Hawkward...


i758.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-02 06:53:17 PM  

skantea: I once saw a hobo try to give a fat dead pigeon mouth to mouth resuscitation.  It ruined my day.


That wasn't mouth-to-mouth, it was a private moment between us. Thank you very much.
 
2013-04-02 07:07:08 PM  
Editor's note: The original police report upon which this story is based stated that the suspect had a dead bird in proximity to "customers' plates." However, the suspect was fired and removed from the restaurant before it opened for the day and was not near any food or customers. The story has been edited to reflect this. We regret the error.

What are you apologizing for? If that's what the report released to the public, that blame goes on them for false information they know is going into the press. If one of your reporters or legal clerks felt like spicing it up a bit, then yeah, you're culpable. Sad as it is to say, this is where digital news can fix things in an instant, rather than wait a whole day for a correction in the next edition.
 
2013-04-02 07:13:07 PM  
The man's boss then said "good to know; now get back to work!" and when the man refused, he was fired.
 
2013-04-02 07:19:27 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-04-02 07:22:33 PM  
Was it Jerry Van Dyke?
 
2013-04-02 07:42:43 PM  
How do they know it WASN'T his mother? Maybe it was some soul swapping magic or her reincarnation or...


You don't care, do you?
 
2013-04-02 07:53:03 PM  

GungFu: [cdn.gunaxin.com image 324x400]

Mother!



Ha!

My first thought was "holy shiat it's Norman Bates on steroids".
 
2013-04-02 07:53:28 PM  
"Out of my body and on to your plate."

wonkette.com
 
2013-04-02 08:15:22 PM  

airplayne: And I am sure there are plenty of liberal evolutionists that would probably not have a problem making this kind of leap.


Geez, I hope you don't get paid to make troll posts. Whoever hired you should probably get they're money back; you're terrible at this.
 
2013-04-02 09:06:49 PM  
Maybe he's just a Faulkner scholar with very poor reading comprehension.
 
2013-04-02 09:22:18 PM  

Cytokine Storm: [i.imgur.com image 500x283]


Came for this.  Leaving satisfied.
 
2013-04-02 11:09:58 PM  

James F. Campbell: airplayne: And I am sure there are plenty of liberal evolutionists that would probably not have a problem making this kind of leap.

Geez, I hope you don't get paid to make troll posts. Whoever hired you should probably get they're money back; you're terrible at this.


Or, I am more successful than you realize.
 
2013-04-03 02:15:15 AM  
Did he get to keep his bird/mother?
Or does he want his birdie back, birdie back, birdie back...
 
2013-04-03 04:39:12 AM  

airplayne: And I am sure there are plenty of liberal evolutionists that would probably not have a problem making this kind of leap.


Evolutionists?
 
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