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(Independent)   Now this is an April Fool's joke: Dutch police announce 20 mile stretch of traffic-jammed highway will be closed for Top Gear record speed test. Parking lot ensues   (independent.co.uk) divider line 45
    More: Amusing, Top Gear, Dutch police, Dutch, public roads, Jeremy Clarkson, parking lots, traffic  
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5780 clicks; posted to Geek » on 02 Apr 2013 at 12:17 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-02 12:19:16 PM
That show is not even funny.
 
2013-04-02 12:21:04 PM

tripleseven: That show is not even funny.


You might think that, but you'd be wrong.  That show is the funniest show...in the world.
 
2013-04-02 12:25:41 PM
Please don't make me sic our tame racing driver on you, 'seven.
 
2013-04-02 12:29:39 PM

fustanella: Please don't make me sic our tame racing driver on you, 'seven.


Some say he knows only two facts about ducks, and both are wrong.
 
2013-04-02 12:32:55 PM

Felgraf: Some say he knows only two facts about ducks, and both are wrong.


Ahhh, I see the Stig has started listening to national anthems.
 
2013-04-02 12:35:11 PM

Felgraf: fustanella: Please don't make me sic our tame racing driver on you, 'seven.

Some say he knows only two facts about ducks, and both are wrong.


Stig is Jeremy Clarkson?
 
2013-04-02 12:41:41 PM
Six posts, and no complaints about the article being written in unintelligible Brit-speak? Come on Fark!
 
2013-04-02 12:45:13 PM

LewDux: Felgraf: fustanella: Please don't make me sic our tame racing driver on you, 'seven.

Some say he knows only two facts about ducks, and both are wrong.

Stig is Jeremy Clarkson?


Secret shot of The Stig sans helmet:
 
2013-04-02 12:45:42 PM

tripleseven: That show is not even funny.


The American version is not.
 
2013-04-02 12:46:27 PM
Let's try that again:

images-2.drive.com.au
 
2013-04-02 12:48:16 PM

3rdtimearound: Six posts, and no complaints about the article being written in unintelligible Brit-speak? Come on Fark!


Programme-makers

No but really, unfunny show.  The American version sucks even more.  The "horribly scripted comedy but everyone's in on it" seems to work a little bit better when pulled off with British accents, but in America, it truly falls flat.

I guess having celebrities drive on a track does have some entertainment merit.
 
2013-04-02 12:52:26 PM
 
2013-04-02 01:13:45 PM

tripleseven: 3rdtimearound: Six posts, and no complaints about the article being written in unintelligible Brit-speak? Come on Fark!

Programme-makers

No but really, unfunny show.  The American version sucks even more.  The "horribly scripted comedy but everyone's in on it" seems to work a little bit better when pulled off with British accents, but in America, it truly falls flat.

I guess having celebrities drive on a track does have some entertainment merit.


Watch Jezza drive the Reliant Robin and get back to me on that one.
 
2013-04-02 01:15:49 PM

tripleseven: 3rdtimearound: Six posts, and no complaints about the article being written in unintelligible Brit-speak? Come on Fark!

Programme-makers

No but really, unfunny show.  The American version sucks even more.  The "horribly scripted comedy but everyone's in on it" seems to work a little bit better when pulled off with British accents, but in America, it truly falls flat.


The best of the American presenters is Adam Ferrara.  OK, 'best' isn't the right word.  'Least
objectionable', and that is because he is a veteran TV actor and stand up comic.

The biggest fault of the show is that the producers have decided the US audience (you know:  morons)
will think that the painful scripted sitcom-level put downs are actual chemistry between the hosts.  I've
tried to watch a few episodes this season, and while it is possibly incrementally better because Tanner
and Rutledge have a bit more on-camera experience, they are still mired in trying to be not just a pale
imitation of the UK original, but a BAD imitation of it (see, for example, the recent US remake of TOP
GEAR UK's Apocalypse car special).

I guess having celebrities drive on a track does have some entertainment merit.

They have, alas, abandoned that as of this season, and if there is one thing that the US version got
better than the UK version its having that little animated map of their test track in the corner so you could
follow the course (even if it was put there as a sop th the video game-loving American audience, I for one
appreciated it since for the life of me I can't visualize the UK test track at all).
 
2013-04-02 01:20:23 PM

DjangoStonereaver: I can't visualize the UK test track at all


It's in Forza 4 and GT5 if you want to drive a virtual version of it.
 
2013-04-02 01:22:31 PM

tripleseven: 3rdtimearound: Six posts, and no complaints about the article being written in unintelligible Brit-speak? Come on Fark!

Programme-makers

No but really, unfunny show.  The American version sucks even more.  The "horribly scripted comedy but everyone's in on it" seems to work a little bit better when pulled off with British accents, but in America, it truly falls flat.

I guess having celebrities drive on a track does have some entertainment merit.


Got to agree there. Used to watch the show a few years ago, but I got a little tired of what you accurately describe  as 'the horrible scripted comedy'. Plus I can't stand Jeremy Paxman.
 
2013-04-02 01:28:41 PM
1. Wonder how the Dutch deal with idiot cops? Will he just get "suspended with pay," or is he going to have to apply for mall security now?

2. I kind of wish we did shut down highways more often for speed tests and races. Not in major metropolitan areas, but take a look at this highway northeast of Detroit. Street View will show that it is seldom travelled, and could provide an opportunity to see how long a Bugatti's tires would last at top speed...
 
2013-04-02 01:36:32 PM
The 24-hour cross-town traffic jam on the recent Top Gear Africa special was the greatest traffic jam .... in the world.
 
2013-04-02 01:38:12 PM
One thing about watching the UK Top Gear.   The pacing really makes you notice how padded most American shows are.  An American show would stretch out that much content to at least 2 shows.
 
2013-04-02 01:45:43 PM
Unfortunately, this just might give the Top Gear producers an idea for a prank.
 
2013-04-02 01:46:50 PM

tripleseven: That show is not even funny.


i.chzbgr.com
 
2013-04-02 01:51:29 PM

Quaker: tripleseven: That show is not even funny.

[i.chzbgr.com image 453x422]


This world needs more Gov. Blagotojail memes.
 
2013-04-02 02:36:52 PM

tripleseven: That show is not even funny or interesting.


FTFM
I agree, perhaps we've missed the better episodes.
Reading Car & Driver test drive articles is more entertaining & informative.  I learn more in one crapper sitting than I do from an episode of TG.
(could be due to "padding" mentioned above)

/not trolling
 
2013-04-02 02:40:42 PM

tripleseven: That show is not even funny.


TFA is about the UK version, not the US one.

/yeah, I know...
//next, try "I don't own a television."
 
2013-04-02 02:50:04 PM

rufus-t-firefly: tripleseven: That show is not even funny.

TFA is about the UK version, not the US one.

/yeah, I know...
//next, try "I don't own a television."


Read further down thread, and you'll realize I was referencing both.

I do have a television, and yes, I get BBC America, thanks though...
 
2013-04-02 03:00:21 PM

tripleseven: That show is not even funny.


The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an airplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.
 
2013-04-02 03:03:01 PM
http://www.topspeed.com/cars/car-news/top-gear-gets-the-guinness-worl d -record-for-most-watched-factual-show-ar135278.html

Sorry, and this show is funny and usually pretty good.
/The US version sucks badly.
 
2013-04-02 03:29:45 PM

tripleseven: rufus-t-firefly: tripleseven: That show is not even funny.

TFA is about the UK version, not the US one.

/yeah, I know...
//next, try "I don't own a television."

Read further down thread, and you'll realize I was referencing both.

I do have a television, and yes, I get BBC America, thanks though...



Should I also add the fact I hold dual citizenships in both the US and...Britain?

Or is that "You got told" overkill?
 
2013-04-02 03:30:23 PM

tripleseven: 3rdtimearound: Six posts, and no complaints about the article being written in unintelligible Brit-speak? Come on Fark!

Programme-makers

No but really, unfunny show.  The American version sucks even more.  The "horribly scripted comedy but everyone's in on it" seems to work a little bit better when pulled off with British accents, but in America, it truly falls flat.

I guess having celebrities drive on a track does have some entertainment merit.


8/10?

Gawd knows I've been guilty of dissing shows on Fark that I genuinely didn't like but were very popular among other farkers , but I found there's an easy solution to that.

Don't watch it!

Seriously, if you tune into a show just to hate on it then you need to rethink your priorities.


Wait, maybe tripleseven is the Stig!

Some say he hates Jeremy Clarkson because he's been turned down every time he asked him out on a date.

Some say Richard Hammond won't even let him stare at his perfect hair and shiny teeth.

Yeah, the American version is lame, but it's all relative. Stop comparing Top Gear USA to Top Gear. Instead compare Top Gear USA to Ice Road Truckers and suddenly it's awesome.
 
2013-04-02 03:53:53 PM

Happy Hours: tripleseven: 3rdtimearound: Six posts, and no complaints about the article being written in unintelligible Brit-speak? Come on Fark!

Programme-makers

No but really, unfunny show.  The American version sucks even more.  The "horribly scripted comedy but everyone's in on it" seems to work a little bit better when pulled off with British accents, but in America, it truly falls flat.

I guess having celebrities drive on a track does have some entertainment merit.

8/10?

Gawd knows I've been guilty of dissing shows on Fark that I genuinely didn't like but were very popular among other farkers , but I found there's an easy solution to that.

Don't watch it!

Seriously, if you tune into a show just to hate on it then you need to rethink your priorities.


Wait, maybe tripleseven is the Stig!

Some say he hates Jeremy Clarkson because he's been turned down every time he asked him out on a date.

Some say Richard Hammond won't even let him stare at his perfect hair and shiny teeth.

Yeah, the American version is lame, but it's all relative. Stop comparing Top Gear USA to Top Gear. Instead compare Top Gear USA to Ice Road Truckers and suddenly it's awesome.


No...no, it's not.

They've totally lost the plot this season.  Not a single actual "test" (I know, TGUK doesn't really do tests so much as they hoon the shiat out of cars for ten minutes a pop) to be found.  A severe lack of the Stig and Power Laps.  None of their Star in a Reasonably Priced Car equivalent.  Some episodes look and feel like they scrambled to watch what the Brits did and copied it word for word.  And it's gotten to the point where if a car does need to be driven and driven hard, they'll come up with some lame and contrived reason to put Tanner in it, since he, I assume, is the only one who the insurance companies will allow to actually do shiat.
 
2013-04-02 03:57:48 PM
Oh, is it cool to hate Top Gear UK now? Damn, I was just getting into hating Community and now I have to channel all of my hatred into a show that's twice as long! With no commerical breaks! On the other hand, I suppose I could spare some hatred by directing some away from The Cleveland Show. I've been hating it since it started, and everybody hates that dreck anyway, right?


/Put down the Haterade. Hating on something popular doesn't make you cool, it makes you a douche.
 
2013-04-02 04:15:31 PM

Clutch2013: They've totally lost the plot this season.  Not a single actual "test" (I know, TGUK doesn't really do tests so much as they hoon the shiat out of cars for ten minutes a pop) to be found.  A severe lack of the Stig and Power Laps.  None of their Star in a Reasonably Priced Car equivalent.  Some episodes look and feel like they scrambled to watch what the Brits did and copied it word for word.  And it's gotten to the point where if a car does need to be driven and driven hard, they'll come up with some lame and contrived reason to put Tanner in it, since he, I assume, is the only one who the insurance companies will allow to actually do shiat.


I haven't seen the latest TGUSA season - maybe one episode. I'm just saying it can't compare to TGUK, but if you compare it to the other crap on History channel, it's awesome. Well, not so awesome that I actually watch it anymore, but at least the last time I did it was one of their better shows.

Yeah, maybe comparing TGUSA to IRT is a bit like comparing a dried cat turd to a fresh dog turd, but still. what else does History Channel have to offer?
 
2013-04-02 06:25:14 PM
www.demotivationalposters.org
 
2013-04-02 06:35:40 PM

tripleseven: That show is not even funny.


This.

A trio of wankers who take themselves waaaaaay to seriously.

And why doesn't that one guy get a decent hair-cut?

The only two segments worth shiate?
1) Clarkson talking about a new Roll/Bentley he liked and how it showed the downfall of British car making
2) When they tried to destroy a Toyota Hi-Lux.

And both of these are OLD.
 
2013-04-02 07:12:29 PM
DjangoStonereaver:They have, alas, abandoned that as of this season, and if there is one thing that the US version got better than the UK version its having that little animated map of their test track in the corner so you could follow the course (even if it was put there as a sop th the video game-loving American audience, I for one appreciated it since for the life of me I can't visualize the UK test track at all).

I was the same until I finally saw it in GT5.  If it helps, the British track is a figure-8.  The tires they drive around near the start of the course are the same ones they drive past at full speed later on.
 
2013-04-02 07:18:47 PM
Top Gear UK is probably one of the shows on television. Top Gear USA is the complete opposite of that.
 
2013-04-02 07:20:23 PM

No Line For Beer: DjangoStonereaver:They have, alas, abandoned that as of this season, and if there is one thing that the US version got better than the UK version its having that little animated map of their test track in the corner so you could follow the course (even if it was put there as a sop th the video game-loving American audience, I for one appreciated it since for the life of me I can't visualize the UK test track at all).

I was the same until I finally saw it in GT5.  If it helps, the British track is a figure-8.  The tires they drive around near the start of the course are the same ones they drive past at full speed later on.


I have seen a plan view on Wikipedia, but even still I can't visualize the cars position on it very well.
 
2013-04-02 07:38:24 PM

Tom_Slick: tripleseven: That show is not even funny.

The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an airplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.


The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a distraught old man hanged himself in his East Berlin apartment on Nov. 8, 1989, leaving a note stating he could not live another day knowing he will never see his family in West Germany again.

I have seen the show and it sucks.
Over complicated insults are not humor that tickles my fancies.
 
2013-04-02 07:41:57 PM

Odd Bird: tripleseven: That show is not even funny or interesting.

FTFM
I agree, perhaps we've missed the better episodes.
Reading Car & Driver test drive articles is more entertaining & informative.  I learn more in one crapper sitting than I do from an episode of TG.
(could be due to "padding" mentioned above)

/not trolling


That's the problem. You're the type of person that enjoys 'Car and Driver'.  You're comparing Mythbusters to 'Quarterly structural anaylisis review'.

You've got no sense of fun, adventure, or amusement. You're a machines and details person who reads on the shiatter, which by its very nature limits data input to small, easily digestible, snippets.
 
2013-04-02 08:37:51 PM

amundb: Top Gear UK is probably one of the shows on television. Top Gear USA is the complete opposite of that.


It sure is one of the shows on television.  Not sure what the opposite of being on TV is?  Perhaps being on Mtv?
 
2013-04-03 04:19:34 AM

Glitchwerks: tripleseven: That show is not even funny.

You might think that, but you'd be wrong.  That show is the funniest show...in the world.


That show is very funny, but it tries too much to be the funniest thing in the world. It feels more and more scripted, and has lost a lot of its spontaneity. It especially showed in the last Africa special, where almost all situations felt staged.
 
2013-04-03 08:33:32 AM

padraig: Glitchwerks: tripleseven: That show is not even funny.

You might think that, but you'd be wrong.  That show is the funniest show...in the world.

That show is very funny, but it tries too much to be the funniest thing in the world. It feels more and more scripted, and has lost a lot of its spontaneity. It especially showed in the last Africa special, where almost all situations felt staged.


I love TOP GEAR UK, but have no illusions that it is anything other than an entertainment show especially after they 'enhanced' the presentation of their Tesla road test.

Though, apparently, they are not guilty of libel.

I do agree, though, that the last couple of TOP GEAR specials were rather limp, though the India special did pick up in the last half hour when they were actually showing
a bit of the Himalayan countryside and people.
 
2013-04-03 08:41:20 AM

Hagbardr: Watch Jezza drive the Reliant Robin and get back to me on that one.


Who would want to drive a Reliant Robin when you could fly one?
 
2013-04-03 09:28:47 AM

padraig: Glitchwerks: tripleseven: That show is not even funny.

You might think that, but you'd be wrong.  That show is the funniest show...in the world.

That show is very funny, but it tries too much to be the funniest thing in the world. It feels more and more scripted, and has lost a lot of its spontaneity. It especially showed in the last Africa special, where almost all situations felt staged.


Every single minute of the show is scripted.  That's British comedy for you.

"Oh look, Jeremy driving a forklift right next to one of the junky cars they bought for the show, I hope he doesn't hit it, oh look he hit it!"  As Jeremy makes his goofy "oops" face.
 
2013-04-03 10:18:14 AM

tripleseven: Every single minute of the show is scripted.  That's British comedy for you.


Oh, I'm pretty sure it's always been scripted. But it's not supposed to feel like it.
 
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