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(The New York Times)   I don't have any kids. But I'm a condescending urban douchebag who writes for the New York Times, so I know more about how you should be raising your kids than you do   (nytimes.com) divider line 616
    More: Asinine, Honey Boo Boo, helicopter parenting, The Modern Parents, chicken fingers, ultimatum, Super Bowl rings, anthems  
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23322 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Apr 2013 at 8:26 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-01 06:41:46 PM  
Not as big of a douchbag as people who try to negotiate with their screaming toddler in the middle of a restaurant.
 
2013-04-01 06:48:11 PM  
Why let your kids pick out what to wear themselves? Because it doesn't really freaking matter what a young kid wears and it is an easy way  them develop self-efficacy. Why you would fight a kid over what they want to put on is the part that makes no sense.
 
2013-04-01 07:00:15 PM  
While I have no kids of my own, I have many I can (and sometimes do) lease for the weekend: 11 actual nieces and nephews, whom I'll be with this Easter Sunday, and perhaps twice that number of honorary ones. I have put in my time around tots and teens, and enjoy them. I have seen my share of parenting, and am not certain what to make of it.

Until you actually raise one or are actively raising one, your anecdotal 'I spent a Sunday holiday with them' means nothing to me or any other parent out there.

God what a horrible article.
 
2013-04-01 07:00:53 PM  

Voiceofreason01: Not as big of a douchbag as people who try to negotiate with their screaming toddler in the middle of a restaurant.



Truth.
 
2013-04-01 07:04:06 PM  
Most of the time, I really don't give a shiat about your kid.  But if they're being a screaming little shiat while I'm trying to eat, or running around a store while you ignore them, there it very much is my interest how you are raising your kid.
 
2013-04-01 07:11:10 PM  

GAT_00: Most of the time, I really don't give a shiat about your kid.  But if they're being a screaming little shiat while I'm trying to eat, or running around a store while you ignore them, there it very much is my interest how you are raising your kid.


It's one thing to ignore them, and I agree with you on that point.

It's not always a simple issue, though. When my son was 3 months old I was flying to Portland from Chicago with him after a Christmas visit. To avoid him having any discomfort with his ears popping, I did what I always did: Started him on a bottle when we started taxiing. That way he would be swallowing when we took off.

But then they postponed takeoff. I stopped feeding him but when we actually took off about 20 minutes later, he didn't want any more formula. About 10 minutes later he started screaming bloody murder as the pressure changed.

He screamed and cried for about 20 minutes, then suddenly belched loudly and almost instantly fell asleep.

During the screaming, though, I got lots of nasty looks from other passengers. Well, what the hell was I supposed to do? I wasn't ignoring him; I was comforting him and trying to get him to take some formula. But you can't spank a 3-month-old for bad behavior.
 
2013-04-01 07:15:13 PM  

The_Sponge: Voiceofreason01: Not as big of a douchbag as people who try to negotiate with their screaming toddler in the middle of a restaurant.


Truth.


"Jayden, your grandmother will take away your bonds"
 
2013-04-01 07:15:16 PM  

Sensei Can You See: GAT_00: Most of the time, I really don't give a shiat about your kid.  But if they're being a screaming little shiat while I'm trying to eat, or running around a store while you ignore them, there it very much is my interest how you are raising your kid.

It's one thing to ignore them, and I agree with you on that point.

It's not always a simple issue, though. When my son was 3 months old I was flying to Portland from Chicago with him after a Christmas visit. To avoid him having any discomfort with his ears popping, I did what I always did: Started him on a bottle when we started taxiing. That way he would be swallowing when we took off.

But then they postponed takeoff. I stopped feeding him but when we actually took off about 20 minutes later, he didn't want any more formula. About 10 minutes later he started screaming bloody murder as the pressure changed.

He screamed and cried for about 20 minutes, then suddenly belched loudly and almost instantly fell asleep.

During the screaming, though, I got lots of nasty looks from other passengers. Well, what the hell was I supposed to do? I wasn't ignoring him; I was comforting him and trying to get him to take some formula. But you can't spank a 3-month-old for bad behavior.


You know what you could have done?  Not flown with a 3 month old.  Seriously, what the fark?
 
2013-04-01 07:16:03 PM  

Sensei Can You See: Well, what the hell was I supposed to do?


Nothing, some crap is out of your control and sensible, mature adults will understand that. Ignore the looks.

This is not about that.
 
2013-04-01 07:17:09 PM  

Barfmaker: This is not about that.

GAT_00: You know what you could have done? Not flown with a 3 month old. Seriously, what the fark?


Heh, well, apparently this is about that.
 
2013-04-01 07:17:35 PM  

Sensei Can You See: During the screaming, though, I got lots of nasty looks from other passengers. Well, what the hell was I supposed to do? I wasn't ignoring him; I was comforting him and trying to get him to take some formula. But you can't spank a 3-month-old for bad behavior.


I'm a parent. I've been through a lot of sleepless nights, endless days of tooth aches, colic, asthma attacks. It is so hard sometimes. And when I see kids crying, I feel for the parents as much as anything else- of course I would rather a quiet plane ride or dinner experience- but god dammit- children are going to cry. They are going to be in pain, they are going to surprise you when you least expect it. And for other people to sit there and be assholes with their looks and groans, yeah that sucks.
 
2013-04-01 07:19:39 PM  

Barfmaker: Barfmaker: This is not about that.
GAT_00: You know what you could have done? Not flown with a 3 month old. Seriously, what the fark?

Heh, well, apparently this is about that.


That's just something avoidable though.  It isn't really a badly behaved child, which this is about.  That's a parent making a poor decision with a child that shouldn't be doing anything of the sort because they can't handle it.

The problem on planes is usually the kid kicking the seat while the parent doesn't give a fark, or other versions of the kid not leaving you the hell alone.
 
2013-04-01 07:23:51 PM  

Voiceofreason01: Not as big of a douchbag as people who try to negotiate with their screaming toddler in the middle of a restaurant.


This.

GAT_00: Most of the time, I really don't give a shiat about your kid.  But if they're being a screaming little shiat while I'm trying to eat, or running around a store while you ignore them, there it very much is my interest how you are raising your kid.


And this.  It seems more and more that people in general (i.e. including adults) have NO farkING CONCEPT of not being in other people's way.  And it gets passed even worse one generation to the next.  My wife and I were in a really busy grocery store on Saturday, and this one kid (had to be at least 12) was all over the place sometimes practically sprinting, cutting weird angles and getting in people's way.  Later on this random guy in the checkout line behind us is talking to us a lot, and the kid comes out of nowhere looking to cut in BETWEEN THE MAN AND HIS CART at the same time the man was gesturing with his hand.  Smacked the kid right in the face.  The guy apologized profusely and checked on the kid, but the kid just had a pissy angry biatch look on his face.  My wife told him he needed to apologize for running into the man and to watch where he was going.  He ran off.  It made my day.

/cool farking story, bro
 
2013-04-01 07:32:57 PM  

Sensei Can You See: During the screaming, though, I got lots of nasty looks from other passengers. Well, what the hell was I supposed to do?


Ideally, you stay home with a 3 month old and tell your family to visit you.
 
2013-04-01 07:40:19 PM  

Nadie_AZ: While I have no kids of my own, I have many I can (and sometimes do) lease for the weekend: 11 actual nieces and nephews, whom I'll be with this Easter Sunday, and perhaps twice that number of honorary ones. I have put in my time around tots and teens, and enjoy them. I have seen my share of parenting, and am not certain what to make of it.

Until you actually raise one or are actively raising one, your anecdotal 'I spent a Sunday holiday with them' means nothing to me or any other parent out there.

God what a horrible article.


"Not certain what to make of it..."

What an illuminating statement.
 
2013-04-01 07:40:25 PM  
If you don't have kids, you can't comment on parenting.

If you didn't serve in the armed forces, you can't have an opinion on the war.

This is fun...
 
2013-04-01 07:40:28 PM  
Well, just like some people are douchebags, some kids are douchebags, and 99.9% of the time that's because they have douchebag parents.  You don't notice the well-behaved kids. And for the terrible kids, me and you and everybody on Fark and Frank Bruni can offer all the good parenting advice in the world and it won't matter.  Bad people usually have bad kids.  It's not because nobody has ever told them a better way to do it.  It's because they themselves are not capable of being good parents.  There's not a lot to be done about it.

And I say this as someone who often feels like a terrible parent, and that I am utterly ruining my child.  But I do have a polite and generally well-behaved kid.  I'm not saying he's never thrown a tantrum, but he never got away with it for more than about a second in public (at home, meh, maybe we let it run its course).
 
2013-04-01 07:48:18 PM  
Oh look, it's THIS thread again.
 
2013-04-01 07:54:36 PM  

Osomatic: Well, just like some people are douchebags, some kids are douchebags, and 99.9% of the time that's because they have douchebag parents.  You don't notice the well-behaved kids. And for the terrible kids, me and you and everybody on Fark and Frank Bruni can offer all the good parenting advice in the world and it won't matter.  Bad people usually have bad kids.  It's not because nobody has ever told them a better way to do it.  It's because they themselves are not capable of being good parents.  There's not a lot to be done about it.

And I say this as someone who often feels like a terrible parent, and that I am utterly ruining my child.  But I do have a polite and generally well-behaved kid.  I'm not saying he's never thrown a tantrum, but he never got away with it for more than about a second in public (at home, meh, maybe we let it run its course).


Assuming your kid is being fed and not abused, it sounds like you're doing a perfectly good job as a parent.
 
2013-04-01 07:55:30 PM  

Voiceofreason01: Not as big of a douchbag as people who try to negotiate with their screaming toddler in the middle of a restaurant.

 
2013-04-01 08:01:29 PM  
Just face it, children are evil.

i105.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-01 08:04:32 PM  

GAT_00: The problem on planes is usually the kid kicking the seat while the parent doesn't give a fark, or other versions of the kid not leaving you the hell alone.


You turn around once and ask that they restrain their child.  If it continues, you turn around and tell the kid that Santa isn't real.  Now he's the parent's problem.
 
2013-04-01 08:05:36 PM  
People without children are still affected by how you raise them, and are going to have opinions. We have an interest, because we have to share the world with your kids. Someday, they're going to be our fellow citizens, our coworkers, and possibly, our perpetrators. We really want you to do a good job.
 
2013-04-01 08:08:39 PM  
I Don't have kids either, and that guy is 100% correct.
 
2013-04-01 08:08:52 PM  

FloydA: Just face it, children are evil.

[i105.photobucket.com image 500x312]


I think that's my niece.
 
2013-04-01 08:10:49 PM  
i105.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-01 08:17:34 PM  
i105.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-01 08:19:16 PM  
i105.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-01 08:19:51 PM  
i105.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-01 08:20:19 PM  

GAT_00: Sensei Can You See: GAT_00:
[snip]

You know what you could have done?  Not flown with a 3 month old.  Seriously, what the fark?


Jesus, Mary, and Joseph:  THIS.
 
2013-04-01 08:20:32 PM  
i105.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-01 08:21:02 PM  

kxs401: People without children are still affected by how you raise them, and are going to have opinions. We have an interest, because we have to share the world with your kids. Someday, they're going to be our fellow citizens, our coworkers, and possibly, our perpetrators. We really want you to do a good job.


EXACTLY.  It's not that I want to pick apart every little parenting decision you make, but if your kid is running around in a store and/or being just being a general little shiat, then I will judge you.  I don't hate kids.  Well behaved kids are great.
 
2013-04-01 08:29:19 PM  
Christ, what an asshole.
 
2013-04-01 08:34:20 PM  

GAT_00: Most of the time, I really don't give a shiat about your kid.  But if they're being a screaming little shiat while I'm trying to eat, or running around a store while you ignore them, there it very much is my interest how you are raising your kid.


9/10
 
2013-04-01 08:34:36 PM  

Voiceofreason01: Not as big of a douchbag as people who try to negotiate with their screaming toddler in the middle of a restaurant.


You're right.  Children should be taught that retribution is swift and absolute, and that their parents are short tempered tyrants with a fuse somewhat shorter than that of Genghis Khan.  They actually should never, ever be taught how to be reasonable, or shown how an adult expects them to behave in public, and should never, ever be given the opportunity to screw it up.  Because, you know, someone at the next table may notice them, give them the vapors, and send them running to twitter to complain to their 12 followers about the audacity some parents have bringing their children into public.  The twitter post may be accompanied by a picture.

FTA: "Above all I'm confounded by the boundless fretting, as if ushering kids into adulthood were some newfangled sorcery dependent on a slew of child-rearing books and a bevy of child-rearing blogs. The counsel keeps coming, from every possible corner and from unexpected shamans."

Know what the person I quoted and the author I quoted have in common?  Yep.  Both douchebags.
 
2013-04-01 08:35:27 PM  

Nadie_AZ: While I have no kids of my own, I have many I can (and sometimes do) lease for the weekend: 11 actual nieces and nephews, whom I'll be with this Easter Sunday, and perhaps twice that number of honorary ones. I have put in my time around tots and teens, and enjoy them. I have seen my share of parenting, and am not certain what to make of it.

Until you actually raise one or are actively raising one, your anecdotal 'I spent a Sunday holiday with them' means nothing to me or any other parent out there.

God what a horrible article.


Oh - so your one of those condescending urban douchebag parents ... gotcha.
 
2013-04-01 08:36:24 PM  
May be a condescending urban douchebag, but not having children doesn't prevent one from knowing better than some people who do, any more than a research scientist needs to inject himself with Drug X to study its effect on people.

It's a little thing called "observation" and, over time, it enables you to realize who the shiatty parents are, and why.
 
2013-04-01 08:39:21 PM  
arrogance is mankinds folly. to think you have to be a parent blah blah blah. we are all surrounded by evidence of parents that did little to no parenting, horrible parenting and miserable parenting every day. if i was able i would have had most of you sterilized long ago. few parents do the job well, most are passing on all the miseries of their own farked upbringing, poor genetics and adult stupidity.
 
2013-04-01 08:40:15 PM  
Cousin's wedding.  Flower girl was 2.5 years old.  She wasn't cooperating.

Daddy's response, when the usher charged with making sure she did her job walked up with the screaming kid: "Just reason with her."

It did not go well.
 
2013-04-01 08:41:32 PM  
Tips for Waitress.
Screaming kids running about?
Well just advise their parents of all that hot coffee that you carry and it sure would be a shame if their little shiats were to run into you and get all burny.


child like standing on the seats and staring down the next booth?
The next booth can start talking loudly as you snap a photo(pretend or be a perv) of the little one and how the website spoiled little shiatheads will love the photo of the kid.
Caution: May contain death threats from the little turds parents.
Or if you are eating dessert? Oh the temptation as you hover the dessert near their little faces and just out of their reach.
 
2013-04-01 08:41:35 PM  
All I know is, I can parent better than Susan Smith. So there.
 
2013-04-01 08:42:12 PM  
I must go to the right restaurants - I never hear or see screaming kids. How often does this really happen, and is it worth biatching about? My family and I eat out once a week, on a average, and screaming kids are never part of the equation.
 
2013-04-01 08:42:19 PM  
Ya know the one thing worse than a whiney, crying baby on a flight?

A whiney, crying grownup complaining about a baby on the flight.

Sorry your watching Downton Abbey on your iPad is slightly disturbed, old snowflake.

Jeebus Crikes people, don't your brains have an "ignore" setting?

/ I guess mine doesn't either, at the moment.

Also, writer of the article: You parents did a bad job too.  They should have told you "Type less - say more.  Miss deadline if you have to."
 
2013-04-01 08:42:43 PM  
When it is in the New York Times you know it is true
 
2013-04-01 08:43:01 PM  
This guy sounds like a Farker.
 
2013-04-01 08:43:20 PM  
Had a coworker who had a young teenage daughter (13 or 14 at the time) and every summer the girl got to dye her hair whatever color she wanted (it was super bright pink when I first met her).  But, it had to go back to her natural color before school started.  Sounds like a pretty cool parent to me.
 
2013-04-01 08:43:28 PM  
I saw that article. People without kids really shouldn't presume to give parenting advice to anyone.  Bruni is like someone trying to give aviation tips to pilots based on the fact that he loves near an airport and sees planes flying overhead often.

I, too, knew everything about proper parenting, before actually becoming a parent. It looks a lot different from the inside.
 
2013-04-01 08:43:34 PM  
You don't have to be a musician to know bad music just like you don't have to be a parent to know that someone is doing it wrong.
 
2013-04-01 08:43:39 PM  

bronyaur1: GAT_00: Sensei Can You See: GAT_00:
[snip]

You know what you could have done?  Not flown with a 3 month old.  Seriously, what the fark?

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph:  THIS.


I'm guessing neither of you have had newborns and family across the country at the holidays.

My twin girls had August birthdays and my son was born in September. I live in California and my entire side of the family lives in a 100 mile radius of northwest Ohio.

Guess what? We flew out to visit everyone and show off the brand new grandchildren to everyone back in the midwest 3 and 4 months after they were born at Christmastime.

Much more economical than flying 50 people out to California.
 
2013-04-01 08:43:56 PM  

Nadie_AZ: While I have no kids of my own, I have many I can (and sometimes do) lease for the weekend: 11 actual nieces and nephews, whom I'll be with this Easter Sunday, and perhaps twice that number of honorary ones. I have put in my time around tots and teens, and enjoy them. I have seen my share of parenting, and am not certain what to make of it.

Until you actually raise one or are actively raising one, your anecdotal 'I spent a Sunday holiday with them' means nothing to me or any other parent out there.

God what a horrible article.


it's hard to imagine letting this guy spend time with my children.
 
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