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(Discover)   "Here, we test the hypothesis that masturbation, or Firsthand Autonomous Pleasure (FAP), when performed on a daily basis, can directly lead to weight loss"   (blogs.discovermagazine.com) divider line 137
    More: Spiffy  
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17136 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Apr 2013 at 1:35 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



137 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-04-01 02:17:54 PM  

The Stealth Hippopotamus: well if you do it long enough it could be cardio..


but ... ouch


Try SSRIs. You'll be good for two, three hours if you can actually finish.

/ Never again
// All the work, none of the finish
 
2013-04-01 02:18:49 PM  

farker99: I shave once a day
/not saying where.


But are you master of your domain?
 
2013-04-01 02:21:07 PM  
www.blogcdn.com
Cat.  Fight.  CATFIGHTCATFIGHTCATFIGHT!  CAAAAAATTTTTT . . . . . FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!

/catfight.
 
2013-04-01 02:21:29 PM  

DROxINxTHExWIND: Madaynun: A FAP a day keeps the weight away a crusty residue on most of the unwashed towels?

FTFY


I've got a few socks that by this point could be used as tent stakes.
 
2013-04-01 02:22:00 PM  

reklamfox: Without reading the article I can tell you from personal experience that this does not work. I should be a size zero by now.


It's twue! I was actually 865 kg before I discovered the magic of masturbation!
 
2013-04-01 02:22:09 PM  
Go away, 'batin!
 
2013-04-01 02:22:41 PM  

OtherLittleGuy: AGremlin: [encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com image 301x168]

Was there no lock on that frickin' door?


I'll be in the bathroom, "working out" with the door locked.
 
2013-04-01 02:23:39 PM  
For all your fat fappers who seem dumbfounded by the idea that you are still fat regardless of your amorous activities...  You would probably get fatter if you stopped.
 
2013-04-01 02:27:05 PM  

RedTank: For all your fat fappers who seem dumbfounded by the idea that you are still fat regardless of your amorous activities...  You would probably get fatter if you stopped.


So, can the obese include the cost of lotion as a medical expense?
 
2013-04-01 02:27:46 PM  
If that were true your average Fark party would look more like this:
images.fineartamerica.com
 
2013-04-01 02:28:04 PM  
Lawrence Pritchard Waterhouse has already done the math.
 
2013-04-01 02:28:42 PM  
Too bad BIE's are a thing of the past this would've been the ideal place to ask for it.

/eip
 
2013-04-01 02:33:10 PM  
Not an April fools joke.  FAP also helps you build muscle.  Warning: ponified to satisfy google's strict no orgasm policy.
 
2013-04-01 02:36:22 PM  

reklamfox: Without reading the article I can tell you from personal experience that this does not work. I should be a size zero by now.


Well... how YOU doing today?
 
2013-04-01 02:37:30 PM  

farker99: I shave once a day
/not saying where.


In the bathroom?
 
2013-04-01 02:40:04 PM  
southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com
 
2013-04-01 02:40:09 PM  

FrancoFile: Lawrence Pritchard Waterhouse has already done the math.


That has nothing to do with weight loss, only concentration (or did it?)
 
2013-04-01 02:42:09 PM  
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-04-01 02:43:11 PM  
www.udel.edu

If you masturbate 20 times a day, you'll never get out the door.

You may try, but you'll grab hold of the doorknob and pass out.
=Smidge=
 
2013-04-01 02:43:12 PM  
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-04-01 02:44:07 PM  

enry: FrancoFile: Lawrence Pritchard Waterhouse has already done the math.

That has nothing to do with weight loss, only concentration (or did it?)


Go re-read the relevant sections of the book.  The thread should still be active in 4 days, right?
 
2013-04-01 02:45:17 PM  
images2.wikia.nocookie.net

And if you use your non-dominant hand, it's like having sex with a clumsy stranger.

/can't go looking for the real quote but that's close.
//and she's hot.
 
2013-04-01 02:45:19 PM  

BarkingUnicorn: reklamfox: Without reading the article I can tell you from personal experience that this does not work. I should be a size zero by now.

Fap enough and your penis will be a size zero.


I should hope so since I'm a chick and all...
 
2013-04-01 02:46:00 PM  
Masturbation? Weight loss?

This is my kind of thread.
 
2013-04-01 02:48:34 PM  
This certainly explains Rush Limbaugh.
 
2013-04-01 02:51:43 PM  
4.bp.blogspot.com

/hot like a one-armed bandit
 
2013-04-01 02:55:24 PM  

Mixolydian Master: [i.imgur.com image 470x300]


/thread
 
2013-04-01 02:56:49 PM  
This is why I am skinny.
 
2013-04-01 02:57:09 PM  
Puts a new spin on the phrase "she blinded me with science"
 
2013-04-01 02:57:44 PM  

AbiNormal: If that were true your average Fark party would look more like this:
[images.fineartamerica.com image 850x567]


I doubt it, that looks too social.
 
2013-04-01 02:58:49 PM  

Sword and Shield: The Stealth Hippopotamus: well if you do it long enough it could be cardio..


but ... ouch

Try SSRIs. You'll be good for two, three hours if you can actually finish.

/ Never again
// All the work, none of the finish


My doctor increased my dosage once because I complained about being more depressed than usual. The next night I started polishing the bishop, and two hours later...nothing. For a whole week couldn't finish the deed. Goddamn SSRIs.
 
2013-04-01 03:02:17 PM  

Smidge204: If you masturbate 20 times a day, you'll never get out the door.

You may try, but you'll grab hold of the doorknob and pass out.
=Smidge=


I love that man. He's like my Plato or Aristotle.
 
2013-04-01 03:02:57 PM  
AFD joke or not, you Farkettes might want to read the article this time.
 
2013-04-01 03:09:53 PM  

gaslight: This is why I am skinny.


I for one will validate this as well. Go look at what I posted about my own measurements.
 
2013-04-01 03:11:18 PM  
I thought it caused dehydration?
 
2013-04-01 03:12:37 PM  

OtherLittleGuy: AGremlin: [encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com image 301x168]

Was there no lock on that frickin' door?

Doesn't anybody farking knock anymore?!
 
2013-04-01 03:12:48 PM  
Firsthand, secondhand...  Whatever it takes.
 
2013-04-01 03:13:48 PM  

FrancoFile: enry: FrancoFile: Lawrence Pritchard Waterhouse has already done the math.

That has nothing to do with weight loss, only concentration (or did it?)

Go re-read the relevant sections of the book.  The thread should still be active in 4 days, right?


I believe it was concentration-related. If there were any weight fluctuations, it was due to his emotional state while celebate.
 
2013-04-01 03:15:17 PM  
SSRI's suck. I took them and got to where I could not finish the deed. The wife just got pissed and quit having sex. It's been over 8 yrs. Between that and the menopause that she started in to pretty much messed things up.

/not taking the meds anymore
 
2013-04-01 03:18:57 PM  

WTFDYW: SSRI's suck. I took them and got to where I could not finish the deed. The wife just got pissed and quit having sex. It's been over 8 yrs. Between that and the menopause that she started in to pretty much messed things up.

/not taking the meds anymore


4 effin hours the one time was enough for me to say fark off to them

not sure what that has to do with this thread though?
 
2013-04-01 03:19:11 PM  
5'10" and 144#; that's somewhat underweight. But oddly enough my offhand is bigger/stronger than my main hand and I almost never use that one.
 
2013-04-01 03:20:43 PM  

Billy Bathsalt: Where control group?


If "not getting any" makes you fat, I should outweigh Honey Boo Boo's mom by now

/I don't
//but I'm not
///sad slashies
 
2013-04-01 03:22:18 PM  
i.imgur.com

I honor the man that invented "fap".

I feel so old...
 
2013-04-01 03:22:25 PM  
too...too weak...to...ty...
 
2013-04-01 03:29:06 PM  

WTFDYW: SSRI's suck. I took them and got to where I could not finish the deed. The wife just got pissed and quit having sex. It's been over 8 yrs. Between that and the menopause that she started in to pretty much messed things up.

/not taking the meds anymore



Had a similar experience with SSRI's. Wellbutrin was much better. Haven't taken either for years now.

As for the meno, I srsly thought the Mrs. was losing it. Slept with one eye open (and in another room) for a while.

/Creepy
//Scary
///Much better these days
 
2013-04-01 03:31:15 PM  

weltallica: [i.imgur.com image 650x184]

I honor the man that invented "fap".

I feel so old...


I miss that twisted, farked up strip.
 
2013-04-01 03:37:25 PM  

Gyrfalcon: Billy Bathsalt: Where control group?

If "not getting any" makes you fat, I should outweigh Honey Boo Boo's mom by now

/I don't
//but I'm not
///sad slashies



Methinks you're too picky


;-)
 
2013-04-01 03:42:02 PM  
That's what it stands for?  I thought it was a request for funny animal pictures.  Oh my, I uh, I guess that explains some of the responses to texts I've sent.
 
2013-04-01 03:44:46 PM  
Doesn't this also lead to hair regrowth? It's a 2-fer!
 
2013-04-01 03:46:48 PM  

Haoie: Doesn't this also lead to hair regrowth? It's a 2-fer!


why would you regrow hair on your palms?  my aunt gladys told me so.
 
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