Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Slash Gear)   Siri direct me to to the theater. Siri: left at the next block and past CVS where Bounty paper towels are on sale $1 a roll. Grab a roll today. Bounty, the quicker picker upper. Continue down the block and turn right. Theater is on the right   ( divider line
    More: Asinine, Nuance Communications, Voice Text, CVS  
•       •       •

20230 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Apr 2013 at 1:12 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-04-01 01:40:35 PM  
4 votes:
I'm hoping it's not an April Fool's joke, because when my cell phone eventually lights up with an obnoxious ad while I'm driving, I want to intentionally crash, feign being frightened, and squeeze the ad & phone companies through the civil court juicer.
2013-04-01 01:37:00 PM  
4 votes:
Godamned triple, quadruple, quintuple dipping bastards. You pay an arseload for the stupid phones, lappy's tablets, etc then another arseload for the services and then even MORE for "specialty" features that should have been included in the first place and THEN they inundate you with non stop commercials. Then they SCREAM bloody murder that they aren't making enough money because of "pirates" and send their army lawyers to bum rape your granny.

2013-04-01 01:21:14 PM  
4 votes:
And most of you idiots will think nothing of this, because otherwise you might have missed getting 50 cents off a pack of paper towels. You'll gladly trade your privacy for some cheap coupons for shiat you don't need.

Ironically though, the same people will go home and biatch about the invasiveness of advertising because your DVR wont let you skip commercials anymore, or that blue-ray you just bought has 5 minutes of unskippable ads at the beginning.
2013-04-01 01:18:57 PM  
4 votes:
(Featured Partner)
2013-04-01 03:01:32 PM  
3 votes:
Here's the deal.

We, as a nation, don't make sh*t anymore.

The only money is in trying to sell crap from someplace else to people who can't afford to buy it, and the people who import it are assured by people who done been ta kollij, that the way to do this is to hammer the piss out of the public 24/7 with a noise floor of ads on A/V capable media appliances.

As soon as they realize the growing serf class can't afford sh*t, they'll get fired by the people who bought the ads who will then  scramble to find cheaper and more effective ways to sell slave wage manufacured doo daddery to poor people.  Meh.
2013-04-01 01:22:23 PM  
3 votes:
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size
2013-04-01 01:16:14 PM  
3 votes:
CVS doens't need advertising as every Rx refill requires you to make 4 trips to the store anyway.
2013-04-01 02:40:06 PM  
2 votes:
Wow. That's a lot of butthurt over an article posted on April first.
2013-04-01 01:42:31 PM  
2 votes:

ajt167: Or people could, you know, not use the product.

I'll admit, the Taco Bell ads on Waze are annoying but don't interfere with the use of the application and happen rarely.

If you have to rationalize, the app is already the wrong app for you.

waze happens to default to bing which is why searching never works, among other things. it's nice for certain concepts, but fark using waze.
2013-04-01 01:24:03 PM  
2 votes:
Using Siri should be a painful experience.
2013-04-01 01:17:46 PM  
2 votes:
I am very frightened/interested in what this would be like when I'm in some areas in Detroit.

Turn left at crack house on corner, Smacky Joe having sale on meth, Shaquonda having 2 for 1 sale... Make u-turn when possible.
2013-04-01 01:16:23 PM  
2 votes:
eden1992.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
2013-04-01 01:15:24 PM  
2 votes:
Yeah, that's why I still use these things called maps.
2013-04-01 09:53:55 PM  
1 vote:
Speaking of statistics, here's some.

creditwritedowns.comView Full Size

I wouldn't buy it, though,  I mean, the bureau of labor statistics just makes sh*t up.  Hey, for all I know, they do although how they'd make money on it eludes me.  Not to mention that electronics manufacturing has all but been exported wholesale since the early  '80s.  We're running out of things to make that people need, the resources to make them and while modern electronics manufacturing is in decline all over the world, it was a sandwich we never got a very big bite of.  So no, comparatively we don't make a whole of stuff here anymore.  And land, water, minerals and things are wealth, not bank notes.  And the people pocketing those notes from offshore products ain't tipping the barista or the maid in the triple digits.  Don't even bother with the fact that US companies who still make things aren't very big on OJT.  It's changed.  And to believe otherwise is your privilege, but don't stumblef*ck up to me with a mouthful of snotty remarks and tell me otherwise.
2013-04-01 09:21:13 PM  
1 vote:

Carousel Beast: bunner: We, as a nation, don't make sh*t anymore.

Except for the part where you're droolingly, retardedly incorrect, you're spot-on.

Except for the part where you probably cherry pick statistics and think that being a dime store  insult artist from your mommy's sewing room, you almost sound like a smart person.  I mean, that is your point to this offering top this discussion, isn't it?  Being a baselessly arrogant twat to let everybody know smart you must be?  Pissy, rude dildo does not equal educated.  Honest.
2013-04-01 05:43:02 PM  
1 vote:

cygnusx13: I, for one, blame Fartbongo for his predicament.

Yes, yes.. always remember, as long as you have a sockpuppet to blame, your guy is better.  Democracy!  The president is a store  window mannequin and has been for a long time.  Don't forget to blame the next show pony that gets installed by the 1%.
2013-04-01 04:45:33 PM  
1 vote:
Still say they should pay me or for the services I use if there are interstitial ads everywhere.

/Advertisement plays before Google Voice connects the call on the 'free' android phone
/Facebook phone 'free' cellular service contingent on Facebook logged-in status, opt-in to GPS tracking, and auto-check-in.
2013-04-01 04:38:04 PM  
1 vote:

toraque: bunner: ajt167: I'm currently at a manufacturing facility in the US (American owned) and our business is booming better than it has been in 30 years, so I'm getting a kick.

Rule.  Exception.  Good on ya.

The United States has been the world's largest manufacturer since World War 2. Ya rly.

And we coasted on our post war laurels and the standard of  living it created for fifty years.  And now that's being dismantled for cheaper labor, lax laws and tons of natural resources that aren't depleted or protected.  Stay tuned.
2013-04-01 04:24:08 PM  
1 vote:

durbnpoisn: How is it that we pay $160 for cable (if you're lucky), you get all these extra channels bundled together (no al la carte choicing), and even though you already PAY for the channel, you still have to sit through a ridiculous number of commercials?

It's the frog in the pot of water, getting the heat turned up slowly.

Up until the 70s, companies would give away merchandise with their name on -- t-shirts, hats, maps. Nobody would pay for something that advertised for someone else -- that would be silly.

Then we stupid consumers started paying money to advertise for them so our friends would think we were all as cool as the lifestyles shown in their ads. We started watching the Super Bowl just to see the advertisements. OMG! That shirt has a little alligator on it! And that hat and shoes have a little graphic swooshy checkmark thingy! My friends will be so jealous that the swooshy thing on my shoes looks just like the swooshy things on Michael Jordan's shoes!

After a while, they figured out they could convince us to pay directly for the advertisements, then pay again when we bought products, because ads are cool.
2013-04-01 03:48:48 PM  
1 vote:

durbnpoisn: I have an Android, so no Siri.  But I still want to chime in and whine about invasive advertising...  Even if it is completely unrelated to cellphones, Apple or anything else...

How is it that we pay $160 for cable (if you're lucky), you get all these extra channels bundled together (no al la carte choicing), and even though you already PAY for the channel, you still have to sit through a ridiculous number of commercials?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, capatalism, bla bla bla.  It's still farked up.

Cuz it would cost even more to have it commercial free...
2013-04-01 03:43:30 PM  
1 vote:
I have an Android, so no Siri.  But I still want to chime in and whine about invasive advertising...  Even if it is completely unrelated to cellphones, Apple or anything else...

How is it that we pay $160 for cable (if you're lucky), you get all these extra channels bundled together (no al la carte choicing), and even though you already PAY for the channel, you still have to sit through a ridiculous number of commercials?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, capatalism, bla bla bla.  It's still farked up.
2013-04-01 03:17:13 PM  
1 vote:
Wasn't it bad enough when apple replaced the google maps with their own maps?

So I finally download google maps back...use it for a while...then try to save a location...and google maps asks me to login? WTH?!

I had actually downloaded whatsapp but refused to use it when asked for my phone number.
Can you companies just stick to streaming ads?
No need to get all completely personal.
2013-04-01 03:16:44 PM  
1 vote:

cygnusx13: Capitalism. How does it work?

I'd have absolutely no problem with it if they...

a) Paid their fair share in taxes.

b) Weren't allowed to manipulate the CRIMINAL justice system and preferably politics as a whole.

c) Paid decent wages and reasonable benefits (some do... many don't).

d) Didn't freaking whine about the dirty poors so much.

It would also be nice if they didn't completely shut out any talent that doesn't fit their cookie cutter formula for "art" and spread a bit of the wealth amongst artists a little more evenly. Stripper/thug of the week could make a few mil less to allow some quality starving writers, actors, musicians, etc a chance to earn a living. There would be a lot less schlock being produced and the consumers might be more willing to fork over their hard earned cash for their entertainment.
2013-04-01 02:59:55 PM  
1 vote:
From the headline, I thought maybe Siri had found a XXX theater.
2013-04-01 02:00:47 PM  
1 vote:

bunner: This has been an amazingly successful business model in America.

Not just America. Read up on what has been done to the CRTC up in Canada over the past decade (the CRTC is the Canadian version of the FCC). IIRC Australia has been another extremely egregious offender for regulating in favor of media moguls.

Also... your tax dollars get to pay for writing, enforcing and prosecuting all these ridiculous laws that only serve to make rich people richer. Oh and don't forget the tax breaks.

They should all be paired up, have their anuses sewn together then force fed Taco Bell and Popeye's chicken so the greasy burning poop gets pushed back and forth until they explode.
2013-04-01 01:57:30 PM  
1 vote:
If you're paying for a service, you shouldn't have to endure commercials.  Same goes for cable TV.
2013-04-01 01:51:13 PM  
1 vote:

Lizardking: Yet another reason to be happy I chose Android over i-anything. Waze is one of the best GPS apps I have ever used.

You're happy to use Android over iPhone because of a shiatty "feature" that probably won't end up on the iPhone but is already incorporated in the app you use? Interesting...
2013-04-01 01:42:59 PM  
1 vote:

reklamfox: I remember a year or so ago when everyone lost it over the reports that Apple was going to start requiring users to watch interactive ads and if they failed to complete the required actions their devices would shut off. Wonder what happened to that?

I guess it was just as true as all the other anti-Apple propaganda you see online.
2013-04-01 01:39:35 PM  
1 vote:
Leela: "Didn't you have ads in the 20th century?"

Fry: "Well sure, but not in our dreams! Only on tv and radio...and in magazines...and movies. And at ball games, on buses, and milk cartons, and t-shirts, and bananas, and written on the sky. But not in dreams! No sirree."
2013-04-01 01:35:25 PM  
1 vote:
No wonder Dragon still sucks balls, Nuance is busy being evil.
2013-04-01 01:26:03 PM  
1 vote:
Well, that's a sure fire way to ensure I never use any product or app that tries to incorporate this technology.

-sent from my iPhone 5
2013-04-01 01:25:56 PM  
1 vote:
Do people actually use siri as opposed to the internet which you need to be connected to when you might want to use siri?
2013-04-01 01:23:20 PM  
1 vote:
"The infrastructure of interconnected computers that will be the internet will create a network that will be the new library of Alexandria!  And it will be at everybody's fingertips in the comfort of their homes!"

"Click to see teen hotties in a three way with a horse!"


2013-04-01 01:21:53 PM  
1 vote:
Next year's headline:  "Ad company Nuance files for Chapter 11 because nobody would incorporate their product into their smartphone."
2013-04-01 01:19:57 PM  
1 vote:
Asinine Totally expected.
2013-04-01 01:17:25 PM  
1 vote:
I see I'm not alone.
2013-04-01 01:16:46 PM  
1 vote:
The Truman Show was a great movie, and this reminds me of something Truman's wife would have said to him in order to plug a product.

/"...and in case I don't see you: good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight!"
Displayed 37 of 37 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.