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(Smithsonian Magazine)   Subby refuses to apologize for this article that says not apologizing actually makes people feel more empowered. NOT SORRY   ( divider line
    More: Ironic  
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4175 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Apr 2013 at 10:41 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2013-04-01 10:55:48 AM  
2 votes:
I think they've got their cause and effect backwards.  Self-absorbed asshats already feel superior to everybody else, which gives them a huge self-esteem/confidence boost.  Naturally, because they're superior, there's no need to apologize no matter how they might wrong somebody else.  Of course, as a consequence, they're absolutely horrible people to be around unless you're on the same "level" or above.  Since these kinds of people won't ever feel remorse on their own, the only ways to remind them that there are consequences to their actions are legal action or a good swift dose of pain.  I don't advocate living like a doormat, but for fark's sake, there's a good middle ground where you can respect yourself without making everybody around you miserable.
2013-04-01 10:49:29 AM  
2 votes:
I'll only apologize if I'm actually sorry. If I'm not, get over it. Though sometimes I will to the wife just so she'll shut the fark up.
2013-04-01 10:49:20 AM  
2 votes:
People who never apologize are either...
Infallible, assholes or delusional.
I guess that all three can manifeast as happiness, in their own way.
2013-04-01 10:44:37 AM  
2 votes:
Yes, self-righteousness makes you feel very powerful, but it also tends to lead you down a bad bad road.
2013-04-01 01:17:58 PM  
1 vote:
It doesn't surprise me that sociopaths don't get as upset as people capable of empathy.
2013-04-01 12:14:04 PM  
1 vote:

BarkingUnicorn: "So the next time you tell your kids that apologizing will make them feel better in the long run"
I never told my kid that.  I told him that learning from his mistakes would make him feel better in the long run.  The apology is a pop quiz.

Neither have I.  I teach my kids to apologize when they wrong someone else BECAUSE ITS THE RIGHT FARKING THING TO DO!
2013-04-01 12:02:35 PM  
1 vote:
I make it a point not to apologize if it can be used against me in court, since apologizing can be taken as an admission of guilt in some scenarios.
2013-04-01 11:52:24 AM  
1 vote:
The problem isn't the apologizing part, it's the forgiving part.
2013-04-01 11:05:11 AM  
1 vote:
My experience is that the folks who never apologize tend to be the same ones who insist that they're never wrong.  About anything.
2013-04-01 10:51:51 AM  
1 vote:
I notice the article did not cover the "I'm sorry your precious feelings are hurt" type of non-apology.
2013-04-01 10:46:43 AM  
1 vote:
What's even close to being ironic here?  Are you suggesting that people expect apologizing to be empowering?  I'll tell you what's ironic.  That the article was expected to reach an audience of intelligent people but subby got his hands on it.
2013-04-01 10:46:29 AM  
1 vote:
In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog... When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out... But the worst thing I ever done - I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa - and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.
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