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(Smithsonian Magazine)   Subby refuses to apologize for this article that says not apologizing actually makes people feel more empowered. NOT SORRY   (blogs.smithsonianmag.com) divider line 113
    More: Ironic  
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4150 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Apr 2013 at 10:41 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-01 10:43:15 AM  
That's all right subby. We all still think you're pretty sorry.
 
2013-04-01 10:43:20 AM  
No shiat. Like when a girl dumps you, if you want to get her back jut act like you don't give a shiat.
 
2013-04-01 10:44:09 AM  
It is a sign of weakness.
 
2013-04-01 10:44:37 AM  
Yes, self-righteousness makes you feel very powerful, but it also tends to lead you down a bad bad road.
 
2013-04-01 10:45:28 AM  
I farked the guy my friend had a crush on. I really don't give a fark.
 
2013-04-01 10:46:09 AM  
well, this explains the politics tab...
 
2013-04-01 10:46:29 AM  
In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog... When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out... But the worst thing I ever done - I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa - and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.
 
2013-04-01 10:46:43 AM  
What's even close to being ironic here?  Are you suggesting that people expect apologizing to be empowering?  I'll tell you what's ironic.  That the article was expected to reach an audience of intelligent people but subby got his hands on it.
 
2013-04-01 10:48:06 AM  
People who don't apologize are happier because being a b*tch/@$$hole is quite gratifying.
 
2013-04-01 10:48:33 AM  
You never really hear about unapologetic suicide notes.
 
2013-04-01 10:49:14 AM  
I have a habit of apologizing for everything even things that I have no control of what so ever.
/Aaah the life of a chronic worrier.
 
2013-04-01 10:49:20 AM  
People who never apologize are either...
 
Infallible, assholes or delusional.
 
I guess that all three can manifeast as happiness, in their own way.
 
2013-04-01 10:49:29 AM  
I'll only apologize if I'm actually sorry. If I'm not, get over it. Though sometimes I will to the wife just so she'll shut the fark up.
 
2013-04-01 10:49:41 AM  
Yeah, just make up justifications and excuses for your poor behavior. That's how you get to lord over people that YOU are RIGHT. That's the ticket.
 
2013-04-01 10:50:09 AM  
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
Never apologize. It's a sign of weakness.
 
/Someone beat me to it
//Don't care
///If you're going to quote the greatness that is Gibbs, you could at least post his stunning photo
 
2013-04-01 10:50:11 AM  
I am sure all of us have had instances where we did not do anything wrong and someone wanted an apology.  And there was no way we were going to give it to them.
 
2013-04-01 10:50:33 AM  

diaphoresis: People who don't apologize are happier because being a b*tch/@$$hole is quite gratifying do not feel they did anything wrong and so therefore see nothing to apologize for.

 
/Have known way too many of this sort. For which I'm sorry.
 
2013-04-01 10:51:39 AM  
Not apologizing doesn't go far enough. True assholishness can only be achieved by telling people to stop apologizing, or if they say they're sorry, reply, "no you're not".
 
2013-04-01 10:51:51 AM  
I notice the article did not cover the "I'm sorry your precious feelings are hurt" type of non-apology.
 
2013-04-01 10:52:02 AM  
John Belushi smashing a guitar disagrees.
 
2013-04-01 10:52:17 AM  

A Terrible Human: I have a habit of apologizing for everything even things that I have no control of what so ever.
/Aaah the life of a chronic worrier.


I am sorry you feel thay way.

/same affliction
 
2013-04-01 10:52:46 AM  

cheap_thoughts: I farked the guy my friend had a crush on. I really don't give a fark.


Apparently you did...
 
2013-04-01 10:53:00 AM  

Mirrorz: You never really hear about unapologetic suicide notes.


Who was the literary giant whose suicide note said simply 'I'm bored.'?
 
2013-04-01 10:53:02 AM  

mama2tnt: diaphoresis: People who don't apologize are happier because being a b*tch/@$$hole is quite gratifying do not feel they did anything wrong and so therefore see nothing to apologize for.
 
/Have known way too many of this sort. For which I'm sorry.


Yeah, me too.
 
//Knowing people like that, I'm not sorry I know them though.
 
2013-04-01 10:53:07 AM  

A Terrible Human: I have a habit of apologizing for everything even things that I have no control of what so ever.

 
Are you me? Actually, I started doing this about 3 years ago because it was easier to be sorry about everything and apologize immediately about any little thing before Master Justifyer make sure I knew anything and everything was my fault.
 
/became a Geisha for a bit there
//goddammit
 
2013-04-01 10:55:48 AM  
I think they've got their cause and effect backwards.  Self-absorbed asshats already feel superior to everybody else, which gives them a huge self-esteem/confidence boost.  Naturally, because they're superior, there's no need to apologize no matter how they might wrong somebody else.  Of course, as a consequence, they're absolutely horrible people to be around unless you're on the same "level" or above.  Since these kinds of people won't ever feel remorse on their own, the only ways to remind them that there are consequences to their actions are legal action or a good swift dose of pain.  I don't advocate living like a doormat, but for fark's sake, there's a good middle ground where you can respect yourself without making everybody around you miserable.
 
2013-04-01 10:57:14 AM  

had98c: or if they say they're sorry, reply, "no you're not".

 
Are you my wife?
 
Her favorite thing to say. "No you're not, if you were you wouldn't have done it". WTF does that even mean?
 
/Also doesn't apply if I say it to her.
//Apparently only I am incapable of being sorry.
///mostly true though. I'm kind of an asshole
 
2013-04-01 10:57:41 AM  

diaphoresis: People who don't apologize are happier because being a b*tch/@$$hole is quite gratifying.


Why is there an unresolvable mailto link in your post?
 
2013-04-01 10:58:39 AM  

BarkingUnicorn: diaphoresis: People who don't apologize are happier because being a b*tch/@$$hole is quite gratifying.

Why is there an unresolvable mailto link in your post?


It's because he put the goddamned "at" sign instead of spelling out biatch and asshole. Like an asshole.
 
2013-04-01 10:59:49 AM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-04-01 11:01:24 AM  

NumberFiveIsAlive: cheap_thoughts: I farked the guy my friend had a crush on. I really don't give a fark.

Apparently you did...


The dude in question said hell no to her. She already has a lover, so she was just a "oh I feel good about myself, because he flirted with me!"deal.

It was the bar tender for christ sakes. That's his job! Flirt with the undesirable, get money. She thought he wanted more.
 
2013-04-01 11:01:56 AM  
This makes Dick Cheney the happiest man on earth
 
2013-04-01 11:02:55 AM  

BarkingUnicorn: diaphoresis: People who don't apologize are happier because being a b*tch/@$$hole is quite gratifying.

Why is there an unresolvable mailto link in your post?


because of the @
 
Welcome to the Internet... this is how e-mail works
 
2013-04-01 11:04:32 AM  
 
2013-04-01 11:04:55 AM  
"So the next time you tell your kids that apologizing will make them feel better in the long run"
 
I never told my kid that.  I told him that learning from his mistakes would make him feel better in the long run.  The apology is a pop quiz.
 
kab
2013-04-01 11:05:11 AM  
My experience is that the folks who never apologize tend to be the same ones who insist that they're never wrong.  About anything.
 
2013-04-01 11:05:25 AM  
 
2013-04-01 11:05:35 AM  
I'm Canadian, so I naturally apologize for everything.
 
2013-04-01 11:07:05 AM  

Nurglitch: I'm Canadian, so I naturally apologize for everything.


Can you apologize for Harper?
 
2013-04-01 11:07:14 AM  

abhorrent1: had98c: or if they say they're sorry, reply, "no you're not".
 
Are you my wife?
 
Her favorite thing to say. "No you're not, if you were you wouldn't have done it". WTF does that even mean?
 
/Also doesn't apply if I say it to her.
//Apparently only I am incapable of being sorry.
///mostly true though. I'm kind of an asshole


Haha that's awesome. I say the same thing, but only if it's another apology after doing the same thing multiple times. At that point you're either stupid, or doing it on purpose, so it actually ends up being a compliment because if you're indeed sorry for doing the same thing again and again and again, then you're a moron. I'd like to think the person is not a moron, but just an ass. Like me.
 
2013-04-01 11:07:18 AM  
I'm sorry I apologize for red lights and bad weather.
 
2013-04-01 11:11:25 AM  

kab: My experience is that the folks who never apologize tend to be the same ones who insist that they're never wrong.  About anything.


"I may not always be right, but I'm never wrong."  Benjamin J. Grimm.
 
2013-04-01 11:14:31 AM  
EMPATHY AND REMORSE ARE UN-AMERICAN
 
2013-04-01 11:16:21 AM  
Those poor Canadians must be miserable
 
2013-04-01 11:19:04 AM  
::sigh:: Another study that everyone will take out of context and base some conclusions upon their own bad assumptions.
 
TFA was under lab conditions.  They asked people to consider an action for which some people (those with more integrity/conscience) might have wanted to apologize. They then asked the people to write a fake email where they either apologized or refused to apologize.  Then, they asked them how they felt after writing the email.
 
So in what way does this translate to real life where you don't actively take time to force yourself to write a fake apology and you don't actively force yourself to consciously decide you have nothing to apologize for?  It doesn't. Your subconsious / your integrity don't involve much of your higher consciousness.
 
As always, lab experiments are a good indicator of how people respond under lab conditions.
 
2013-04-01 11:19:26 AM  
I don't know if I'm making up a trend, but I feel more and more often when I'm out at the store, or just walking down the street, even if I'm walking next to someone or stepping near someone (not even bumping into them) they are always quietly and meekishly saying "sorry!" It can be as simple as when someone is looking at a shelf of books in a store, and the person behind them is waiting or trying to see a particular item, the first person notices, and then says "sorry!" and steps out of the way. Why is that person apologizing? They aren't doing anything wrong. You don't have to say "I'm sorry" for every single interaction with someone that has a semblance of momentary inconvenience to someone else.
 
2013-04-01 11:23:00 AM  

MyKingdomForYourHorse: In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog... When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out... But the worst thing I ever done - I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa - and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.


I think I'm starting to like this kid.
 
2013-04-01 11:23:08 AM  
Lots of infantile responses, today. 
Future press office speech writers for Democrat Party.
 
PS - Gibbs sucks. Faux man. Bluster, bluster, bluster. Mark Harmon should apologize for the character's utter lack of adult maturity.
 
2013-04-01 11:23:21 AM  

A Terrible Human: I have a habit of apologizing for everything even things that I have no control of what so ever.
/Aaah the life of a chronic worrier.

 
 
OMG, that's horrible!
 
I'm sorry.
 
2013-04-01 11:25:13 AM  
Was the article written by a sociopath?
 
2013-04-01 11:26:38 AM  

A Gentile in Boca: A Terrible Human: I have a habit of apologizing for everything even things that I have no control of what so ever.
/Aaah the life of a chronic worrier.

I am sorry you feel thay way.

/same affliction

 
 
Oops, I posted before i saw your post saying almost the exact same thing.
 
I beg your pardon!
 
2013-04-01 11:30:38 AM  
Better living through sociopathy. GFY society and people with souls. I wonder if the douchebag approach sometimes leads to the murderous rage counter approach? In that case the sense of empowerment might be fleating.
 
The last 5 years of world and national events have made peopl;e more of 'torch and pitchfork' guy than 'ignore that asswipe'.
 
2013-04-01 11:31:46 AM  
Today is April 1st.
 
Just sayin'.
 
2013-04-01 11:35:56 AM  
maram500:

Never apologize. It's a sign of weakness.
 
/Someone beat me to it
//Don't care
///If you're going to quote the greatness that is Gibbs, you could at least post his stunning photo

t2.gstatic.com

Capt Nathan Brittles: the origin of "Never apologise, it's a sign of weakness" [She wore a yellow ribbon, 1949 John Ford]
 
2013-04-01 11:37:31 AM  

namegoeshere: It is a sign of weakness.

 
Pretending you have no weaknesses is the biggest indicator of weakness.
 
2013-04-01 11:37:47 AM  
I'm sorry, but I'm not going to apologize.
 
/have actually said this
 
2013-04-01 11:44:45 AM  
NOT.  SORRY.  ENOUGH.
 
2013-04-01 11:45:46 AM  

trappedspirit: NOT.  SORRY.  ENOUGH.


I'LL MAKE YOU SORRY!
 
2013-04-01 11:49:13 AM  

CapeFearCadaver: A Terrible Human: I have a habit of apologizing for everything even things that I have no control of what so ever.
 
Are you me? Actually, I started doing this about 3 years ago because it was easier to be sorry about everything and apologize immediately about any little thing before Master Justifyer make sure I knew anything and everything was my fault.
 
/became a Geisha for a bit there
//goddammit

 
I solved that problem by forgetting to come home. Sorry.
 
2013-04-01 11:51:12 AM  

Clemkadidlefark: Lots of infantile responses, today. 
Future press office speech writers for Democrat Party.
 
PS - Gibbs sucks. Faux man. Bluster, bluster, bluster. Mark Harmon should apologize for the character's utter lack of adult maturity.


Once more, with clarity.
 
2013-04-01 11:52:24 AM  
The problem isn't the apologizing part, it's the forgiving part.
 
2013-04-01 11:56:33 AM  
Love means never having to say you're sorry.
 
2013-04-01 11:56:51 AM  

cheap_thoughts: NumberFiveIsAlive: cheap_thoughts: I farked the guy my friend had a crush on. I really don't give a fark.

 
Apparently you did...
 
The dude in question said hell no to her. She already has a lover, so she was just a "oh I feel good about myself, because he flirted with me!"deal.
 
It was the bar tender for christ sakes. That's his job! Flirt with the undesirable, get money. She thought he wanted more.
 
Regarding the first boldfaced term (in light of the second):
 
www.agileproductdesign.com
 
2013-04-01 11:59:17 AM  
Saying sorry is supposed to sting... That helps reinforce the lesson of not doing that which you are apologizing for.
 
2013-04-01 12:01:09 PM  

abhorrent1: had98c: or if they say they're sorry, reply, "no you're not".
 
Are you my wife?
 
Her favorite thing to say. "No you're not, if you were you wouldn't have done it". WTF does that even mean?
 
/Also doesn't apply if I say it to her.
//Apparently only I am incapable of being sorry.
///mostly true though. I'm kind of an asshole

 
It means that you're about 2 years away from a divorce.
If you have kids, this might be extended a bit... but really... she hates your guts and thinks you're always in the wrong.  She now sees you as the father that can do no right, which is likely the father she grew up with.
 
Get a good lawyer and RUN DUDE!
 
2013-04-01 12:02:35 PM  
I make it a point not to apologize if it can be used against me in court, since apologizing can be taken as an admission of guilt in some scenarios.
 
2013-04-01 12:04:53 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: No shiat. Like when a girl dumps you, if you want to get her back jut act like you don't give a shiat.


and why, when I once tried to break up a girl and she went psycho, I then pretended to be over-the-top madly in love with her... which made her break up with me in about a week.  And then every time we talked I said I was miserable without her, etc. 
 
/2nd best thing that ever happened to me was her leaving...
//1st best was the girl right before her leaving...
///Forever Alone, like a boss.
 
2013-04-01 12:07:42 PM  

RoxtarRyan: I make it a point not to apologize if it can be used against me in court, since apologizing can be taken as an admission of guilt in some scenarios.


Life =/= Court
Hearsay =/= Admissible evidence

I'm assuming you're joking... but the sad thing is I've met people who actually think this.
 
2013-04-01 12:11:01 PM  

Clemkadidlefark: Lots of infantile responses, today. 
Future press office speech writers for Democrat Party.
 
PS - Gibbs sucks. Faux man. Bluster, bluster, bluster. Mark Harmon should apologize for the character's utter lack of adult maturity.


Clearly you aren't a fan of either Gibbs or NCIS. Gibbs is nothing but maturity in a sea of utterly juvenile humour (DiNozzo), nerddom (McGee), and whatever the hell Ziva represents (perhaps the femme fatale?), and that is without mentioning either Ducky or Abby...or Vance. Oh sure, Gibbs has his problems--building boats in a basement being one of them--but he is anything but bluster. If he makes a threat, he will carry it out.

And for fark's sake, what the hell do you mean by "future press office speech writers for the Democrat Party?" Have you even looked at the news lately? Infantile responses seem to be the specialty of the Republican Party. See: "legitimate rape," gay marriage, and Fox News. When a Republican finds him- or herself in a hole of his/her own creation, that same Republican will continue to dig him- or herself deeper. Sometimes, an apology isn't a bad thing and can show a level of humility in front of other people.

And in case you think I'm just an idiot in love with Gibbs, I do actually think his rule about "better to seek forgiveness than ask permission" is, sometimes, complete crap. Like when an oil man and another oil man drags an entire nation into a Vietnam-style war over--wait for it--oil.
 
2013-04-01 12:14:04 PM  

BarkingUnicorn: "So the next time you tell your kids that apologizing will make them feel better in the long run"
 
I never told my kid that.  I told him that learning from his mistakes would make him feel better in the long run.  The apology is a pop quiz.


Neither have I.  I teach my kids to apologize when they wrong someone else BECAUSE ITS THE RIGHT FARKING THING TO DO!
 
2013-04-01 12:17:56 PM  
i249.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-01 12:18:45 PM  

NostroZ: It means that you're about 2 years away from a divorce.
If you have kids, this might be extended a bit... but really... she hates your guts and thinks you're always in the wrong. She now sees you as the father that can do no right, which is likely the father she grew up with.

Get a good lawyer and RUN DUDE!


No kids but everything else is about right.
 
2013-04-01 12:20:24 PM  

Amos Quito: A Gentile in Boca: A Terrible Human: I have a habit of apologizing for everything even things that I have no control of what so ever.
/Aaah the life of a chronic worrier.

I am sorry you feel thay way.

/same affliction
 
 
Oops, I posted before i saw your post saying almost the exact same thing.
 
I beg your pardon!


No pardon required my friend.
I am sorry I posted before you.
I should have waited.
 
2013-04-01 12:26:03 PM  

A Gentile in Boca: Amos Quito: A Gentile in Boca: A Terrible Human: I have a habit of apologizing for everything even things that I have no control of what so ever.
/Aaah the life of a chronic worrier.

I am sorry you feel thay way.

/same affliction
 
 
Oops, I posted before i saw your post saying almost the exact same thing.
 
I beg your pardon!

No pardon required my friend.
I am sorry I posted before you.
I should have waited.


i.imgur.com
 
2013-04-01 12:26:54 PM  
Apologizing ALWAYS makes me feel better...

I'm sorry you're so ugly.
I'm sorry you're too stupid to understand.
I'm sorry you're such an insufferable coont.
 
2013-04-01 12:28:23 PM  

dustygrimp: BarkingUnicorn: "So the next time you tell your kids that apologizing will make them feel better in the long run"
 
I never told my kid that.  I told him that learning from his mistakes would make him feel better in the long run.  The apology is a pop quiz.

Neither have I.  I teach my kids to apologize when they wrong someone else BECAUSE ITS THE RIGHT FARKING THING TO DO!


QFT.
 
2013-04-01 12:28:31 PM  
Yesterday I lost my temper with a pharmacist who would not dispense a prescription as it was not dated.
After completing my other shopping I went back and apologied. I felt much better afterwards. Having the guts to say sorry *can* make you stronger.
 
2013-04-01 12:32:24 PM  

abhorrent1: NostroZ: It means that you're about 2 years away from a divorce.
If you have kids, this might be extended a bit... but really... she hates your guts and thinks you're always in the wrong. She now sees you as the father that can do no right, which is likely the father she grew up with.

Get a good lawyer and RUN DUDE!

No kids but everything else is about right.


Sorry to hear that man, it sucks living with someone who wants to pick away at you.

Good thing you don't have kids... whatever you do, DO NOT get them... they will only make things worse.

My advice is to start hoarding cash in a place your wife will never find.  This will be your shyat-hit-the-fan fund.
Next is to STOP APOLOGIZING for anything and everything... tell her this is 'who you are' and that if she does not like it "too bad".  Do not bring up your thoughts of divorce, this will tip your hand too early.

At this point, she will either regain respect for you or progressively get more annoyed with you... if she starts treating you like a man again, great!  Figure out what worked and continue living your life normally.  If she continues to rip you apart, hold your ground, continue to say that "this is who I am" and eventually you'll have to say to her that "you obviously don't like who I am... but, I do... so let's do this divorce painlessly".

Good luck man,
Hold your head high.
 
2013-04-01 12:32:25 PM  

jamspoon: Yesterday I lost my temper with a pharmacist who would not dispense a prescription as it was not dated.
After completing my other shopping I went back and apologied. I felt much better afterwards. Having the guts to say sorry *can* make you stronger.


People think responsibility is hard to bear. It's not. I think that sometimes it is the absence of responsibility that is harder to bear. You have a great feeling of impotence.
- Henry Kissinger
 
2013-04-01 12:58:25 PM  

gajillion: namegoeshere:

It is a sign of weakness.
 
Pretending you have no weaknesses is the biggest indicator of weakness.


Bingo.

"Yeah, I have a weakness or two. So what about it?!?"
 
2013-04-01 01:00:29 PM  

stonicus: Apologizing ALWAYS makes me feel better...

I'm sorry you're so ugly.
I'm sorry you're too stupid to understand.
I'm sorry you're such an insufferable coont.


You've met my mom, I see.
 
2013-04-01 01:04:14 PM  

NostroZ: I'm assuming you're joking... but the sad thing is I've met people who actually think this.


One of my first jobs was in retail.. quit after a month or two when I realized dealing with shoppers sucks. I remember very clearly that if there was ever a case where a customer gets injured, either by their own stupidity or the fault of the store, to never ever say "I'm sorry", since it is admission of guilt. And yes, if you contact your insurance company, they will be very specific in telling you that if you get into an accident to not apologize either, for the same reason, because as much as you don't like it, anything you do and say at a scene is admissible in court, especially if there are witnesses. Ask your insurance company if you feel otherwise.
 
2013-04-01 01:06:30 PM  

CapeFearCadaver: jamspoon: Yesterday I lost my temper with a pharmacist who would not dispense a prescription as it was not dated.
After completing my other shopping I went back and apologied. I felt much better afterwards. Having the guts to say sorry *can* make you stronger.

People think responsibility is hard to bear. It's not. I think that sometimes it is the absence of responsibility that is harder to bear. You have a great feeling of impotence.
- Henry Kissinger


And he's responsible for war crimes so he knows a bit about it.
 
2013-04-01 01:11:44 PM  

Galileo's Daughter: Love

Being an unrepentant asshole means never having to say you're sorry.

ftfy
 
2013-04-01 01:17:58 PM  
It doesn't surprise me that sociopaths don't get as upset as people capable of empathy.
 
2013-04-01 01:28:48 PM  
"Sorry is the Kool-Aid of all human emotions ... True sorrow is as rare as true love."

- Stephen King
 
2013-04-01 01:40:47 PM  

RoxtarRyan: NostroZ: I'm assuming you're joking... but the sad thing is I've met people who actually think this.

One of my first jobs was in retail.. quit after a month or two when I realized dealing with shoppers sucks. I remember very clearly that if there was ever a case where a customer gets injured, either by their own stupidity or the fault of the store, to never ever say "I'm sorry", since it is admission of guilt. And yes, if you contact your insurance company, they will be very specific in telling you that if you get into an accident to not apologize either, for the same reason, because as much as you don't like it, anything you do and say at a scene is admissible in court, especially if there are witnesses. Ask your insurance company if you feel otherwise.


Yes.
If you believe you will be sued and there are witnesses around, say nothing, do nothing, call your lawyer.

If you are not in the ball-crushing-vice of retail/insurance then acting like a human being and accepting a some blame where it's due can be beneficial or everyone involved.
 
2013-04-01 01:41:30 PM  

AgentBang: I don't know if I'm making up a trend, but I feel more and more often when I'm out at the store, or just walking down the street, even if I'm walking next to someone or stepping near someone (not even bumping into them) they are always quietly and meekishly saying "sorry!" It can be as simple as when someone is looking at a shelf of books in a store, and the person behind them is waiting or trying to see a particular item, the first person notices, and then says "sorry!" and steps out of the way. Why is that person apologizing? They aren't doing anything wrong. You don't have to say "I'm sorry" for every single interaction with someone that has a semblance of momentary inconvenience to someone else.


Teenage girls and the meek are always wasting sorry for the least little thing. It's like a reflex, whether they feel sorry or not.
 
2013-04-01 01:46:24 PM  
How about exhibit some self-control and don't do things you'll be expected/required to apologize for later?

It's really not difficult to learn to exercise little patience, manage your time better, and control your impulses.

I haven't apologized in years. I'm also a bit of an apathetic asshole, though.
 
2013-04-01 01:48:05 PM  

Tigger: CapeFearCadaver: jamspoon: Yesterday I lost my temper with a pharmacist who would not dispense a prescription as it was not dated.
After completing my other shopping I went back and apologied. I felt much better afterwards. Having the guts to say sorry *can* make you stronger.

People think responsibility is hard to bear. It's not. I think that sometimes it is the absence of responsibility that is harder to bear. You have a great feeling of impotence.
- Henry Kissinger

And he's responsible for war crimes so he knows a bit about it.


What does that mean?
Doesn't anyone and EVERYONE involved in the 19 year long Vietnam war responsible for war crimes?
This sensationalism to scapegoat one man is ridiculous...  America loves war and during war unpleasant things happen... I hate war, but to scapegoat one man to wash our hands clean of it is no better at preventing more war.
 
2013-04-01 01:48:31 PM  

NostroZ: If you are not in the ball-crushing-vice of retail/insurance then acting like a human being and accepting a some blame where it's due can be beneficial or everyone involved.


Yeah, but I was never talking about circumstances otherwise.
 
2013-04-01 01:49:22 PM  

ACunningPlan: maram500:

Never apologize. It's a sign of weakness.

Capt Nathan Brittles: the origin of "Never apologise, it's a sign of weakness" [She wore a yellow ribbon, 1949 John Ford]


Refusing to apologize when you're wrong is a flashing neon sign of weakness. How insecure do you have to be to be afraid to man up and say "I farked up"?

Sorry, Duke and what-ever-Harmon's-character-is-called (I only know him as that guy who smacks the other guy in the head in the commercials for NSCINCS or whatever it's called.)
 
2013-04-01 02:05:46 PM  

abhorrent1: I'll only apologize if I'm actually sorry. If I'm not, get over it. Though sometimes I will to the wife just so she'll shut the fark up.


Indeed, at home you have to take a slightly different tack than with all the rest of the assholes you interact with daily, as they can't really take a pair of scissors to your balls while you sleep.
 
2013-04-01 02:10:00 PM  
Thank god I'm never wrong so I don't have to apologize. Ever.

/very happy
 
2013-04-01 02:10:20 PM  

foxyshadis: abhorrent1: I'll only apologize if I'm actually sorry. If I'm not, get over it. Though sometimes I will to the wife just so she'll shut the fark up.

Indeed, at home you have to take a slightly different tack than with all the rest of the assholes you interact with daily, as they can't really take a pair of scissors to your balls while you sleep.


Yes, but constantly apologizing will make your balls fall off from disuse.
 
2013-04-01 02:12:27 PM  

screwzloos: How about exhibit some self-control and don't do things you'll be expected/required to apologize for later?

It's really not difficult to learn to exercise little patience, manage your time better, and control your impulses.

I haven't apologized in years. I'm also a bit of an apathetic asshole, though.


imageshack.us
 
2013-04-01 02:20:43 PM  
A Shambling Mound: [imgur.com image]

Hey... ur the guy from the Hamburger Train, right?
 
2013-04-01 02:38:48 PM  
On the large gray scale of psychopaths, the ones that are really uncaring and unfeeling of others, who are politicians, make empty apologies frequently.  It is so meaningless to them that they apologize on behalf of other people who would never apologize on their own, feeling they had done no wrong.

Things like apologizing on behalf of America to the Nazis and Japanese for fighting them in World War II.

Beware the apologies of a politician who does this, as their heart is cold, and they would sacrifice your life without a moment's hesitation.  They are even worse than those who make sneering "non-apology" apologies.
 
2013-04-01 02:43:08 PM  

NostroZ: Tigger: CapeFearCadaver: jamspoon: Yesterday I lost my temper with a pharmacist who would not dispense a prescription as it was not dated.
After completing my other shopping I went back and apologied. I felt much better afterwards. Having the guts to say sorry *can* make you stronger.

People think responsibility is hard to bear. It's not. I think that sometimes it is the absence of responsibility that is harder to bear. You have a great feeling of impotence.
- Henry Kissinger

And he's responsible for war crimes so he knows a bit about it.

What does that mean?
Doesn't anyone and EVERYONE involved in the 19 year long Vietnam war responsible for war crimes?
This sensationalism to scapegoat one man is ridiculous...  America loves war and during war unpleasant things happen... I hate war, but to scapegoat one man to wash our hands clean of it is no better at preventing more war.


I never mentioned Vietnam, never scapegoated one person and I'm pretty sure you're imagining a whole bunch of crazy shiat that I'm not thinking.

All it meant was that Kissinger was responsible for war crimes. Which he was. There's a reason he doesn't vacation in the Netherlands.
 
2013-04-01 02:43:46 PM  

blurr_grrl: "Sorry is the Kool-Aid of all human emotions ... True sorrow is as rare as true love."

- Stephen King


What a horribly meaningless quotation.
 
2013-04-01 02:56:43 PM  

Tigger: All it meant was that Kissinger was responsible for war crimes. Which he was. There's a reason he doesn't vacation in the Netherlands.


The words 'war crimes' carry a lot of weight.
So, I was wondering why you chose to use those in connection with that one man versus so many other culpable of similar acts.  After doing a little bit of research, I realize that you were likely repeating a phrase that has been circulated a lot about Kissinger.  Though I would argue that singling him out for American foreign policy of the mid 20th century is scapegoating.

If we start naming names to be put on trial for 'War Crimes' my vote is Dick Cheney.
 
2013-04-01 03:43:21 PM  

MrBallou: ACunningPlan: maram500:

Never apologize. It's a sign of weakness.

Capt Nathan Brittles: the origin of "Never apologise, it's a sign of weakness" [She wore a yellow ribbon, 1949 John Ford]

Refusing to apologize when you're wrong is a flashing neon sign of weakness. How insecure do you have to be to be afraid to man up and say "I farked up"?

Sorry, Duke and what-ever-Harmon's-character-is-called (I only know him as that guy who smacks the other guy in the head in the commercials for NSCINCS or whatever it's called.)


Oh I agree with you completely.  Although to my mind, saying sorry is not nearly as important as truly being sorry; "I'm sorry" ranks up there with "I love you" as the some of the easiest manipulation tools out there.  Abusive spouses will nearly always apologize; rarely stops them from doing it again.
 
2013-04-01 04:05:48 PM  
An ex helped define this line for me a few years back.

There's a big difference between an apology and simply saying you're sorry.  Making choices that don't warrant apologies means you don't have to say you're sorry.  In this happiness is found.

I know people who say "sorry" far too frequently with no reason for doing so, and now it pisses me off.
 
2013-04-01 04:30:10 PM  

Raptop: Saying sorry is supposed to sting... That helps reinforce the lesson of not doing that which you are apologizing for.


"But what about forgive and forget?"
"Oh, she's forgiven and forgotten all right.  She just doesn't want you to forget that she's forgiven and forgotten!"
 
2013-04-01 05:41:06 PM  
In my experience people generally tend to over apologize a lot.  Seems like I'm always hearing "sorry" and thinking "for what?" "Excuse me" seems to often be a meaningless pre-apology to justify some otherwise easily avoidable minor rudeness.

While there are times when a sincere heartfelt apology is appropriate, in my experience most apologies reflect either an ingrained social fear or an inappropriate and deliberate social aggression.

and yes, either way you sound weak and creepy
 
2013-04-01 05:42:28 PM  
"Sorry doesn't fix it"   Remember that?  The lesson behind that, which a great many people seem to have lost, was Don't do shiat you aren't supposed to do, doubly so when it might injure or otherwise bother someone else.

My favorite version of this was a school yard bully being forced to apologize for kicking another kid so hard he had to go to the doctor.  The bully says "I'm SOOOOOOORRRRRYYY".  The other kid says "No problem" and kicks the guy in the nuts so hard he left the ground.  Then this kid turns to the teach and says "sorry" "can I go?".
 
2013-04-01 06:18:43 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-04-01 06:28:26 PM  
www.granitegrok.com
 
2013-04-01 06:32:47 PM  

NostroZ: Tigger: All it meant was that Kissinger was responsible for war crimes. Which he was. There's a reason he doesn't vacation in the Netherlands.

The words 'war crimes' carry a lot of weight.
So, I was wondering why you chose to use those in connection with that one man versus so many other culpable of similar acts.  After doing a little bit of research, I realize that you were likely repeating a phrase that has been circulated a lot about Kissinger.  Though I would argue that singling him out for American foreign policy of the mid 20th century is scapegoating.

If we start naming names to be put on trial for 'War Crimes' my vote is Dick Cheney.


You took a throwaway line massively insanely way too seriously.
 
2013-04-01 07:53:26 PM  

screwzloos: How about exhibit some self-control and don't do things you'll be expected/required to apologize for later?
It's really not difficult to learn to exercise little patience, manage your time better, and control your impulses.
I haven't apologized in years. I'm also a bit of an apathetic asshole, though.


I'm sorry you have no spontaneity in your life.  Sorry, nothing personal.
 
2013-04-01 08:04:38 PM  

AgentBang: I don't know if I'm making up a trend, but I feel more and more often when I'm out at the store, or just walking down the street, even if I'm walking next to someone or stepping near someone (not even bumping into them) they are always quietly and meekishly saying "sorry!" It can be as simple as when someone is looking at a shelf of books in a store, and the person behind them is waiting or trying to see a particular item, the first person notices, and then says "sorry!" and steps out of the way. Why is that person apologizing? They aren't doing anything wrong. You don't have to say "I'm sorry" for every single interaction with someone that has a semblance of momentary inconvenience to someone else.


Why be annoyed by one of the last shreds of politeness left out there? I typically say that or 'excuse me' because chances are good that i'm spaced out reading the ingredients of the pasta-o's trying to pronounce WTF is in the can.
 
2013-04-01 08:07:18 PM  

NostroZ: If you are not in the ball-crushing-vice of retail/insurance then acting like a human being and accepting a some blame where it's due can be beneficial or everyone involved.


I currently work for a guy whose mission in life is finding and removing scapegoats. Any acceptance of any tiny mote of blame is seen as equivalent to accepting full responsibility, even if all they did was use the wrong tool the first time, but found the right one, and the ultimate cause of failure had nothing to do with that anyway. (Last week's blow up.) He has never made an error of judgment in his life, on the other hand.

/Can't wait for this contract to end.
 
2013-04-01 08:46:46 PM  

cryinoutloud: screwzloos: How about exhibit some self-control and don't do things you'll be expected/required to apologize for later?
It's really not difficult to learn to exercise little patience, manage your time better, and control your impulses.
I haven't apologized in years. I'm also a bit of an apathetic asshole, though.

I'm sorry you have no spontaneity in your life.  Sorry, nothing personal.


I'm not sure I could have it any other way. I suppose living a dull and reclusive life isn't for everyone.
 
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