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(Courier Mail)   Maybe you shouldn't go on a cruise if you think the sea is too loud   (couriermail.com.au ) divider line
    More: Strange, Gary Barlow  
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7671 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Apr 2013 at 10:08 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



35 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-04-01 09:47:06 AM  
And at dinner there were *snails* on my plate!!
 
2013-04-01 10:15:51 AM  
You shouldn't go on a cruise because you get sea sick, norovirus, you're surrounded by water and have no way of leaving that boat for another week, and then they f*ck you with the bar tab at the end of the week.  Stay home and build a shed, stupid.
 
2013-04-01 10:16:36 AM  
This just in: Humans can be stupid.
 
2013-04-01 10:16:49 AM  
I would think that would help you sleep, like having a fan on or one of those white noise machines or even the el train going by so often you don't hear it.
 
2013-04-01 10:16:55 AM  
In before the rush of mocking for cruise patrons by people who clearly have never been on a cruise before.
 
2013-04-01 10:18:19 AM  

give me doughnuts: This just in: Humans can be stupid.


This was my first thought too.  There are some people who will find just about anything to complain about hoping to get free stuff.
 
2013-04-01 10:19:45 AM  
What about the rivers of raw sewage in the passageways?
 
2013-04-01 10:19:58 AM  

UberDave: And at dinner there were *snails* on my plate!!


And give me some FRESH wine! No more of this old stuff.
 
2013-04-01 10:20:23 AM  

Raider_dad: I would think that would help you sleep, like having a fan on or one of those white noise machines or even the el train going by so often you don't hear it.


We always prop the balcony door open so we can listen to it as we sleep. I sleep better on a cruise ship than I do at home.
 
2013-04-01 10:20:36 AM  
Going on my first one this summer. All inclusive, of course. Even if the drinks are watered down because of that, hell, they are included in the price, so I'll just drink more of them.
 
2013-04-01 10:20:48 AM  

s1ugg0: give me doughnuts: This just in: Humans can be stupid.

This was my first thought too.  There are some people who will find just about anything to complain about hoping to get free stuff.


Are they successful and attractive too?
 
2013-04-01 10:22:22 AM  

s1ugg0: give me doughnuts: This just in: Humans can be stupid.

This was my first thought too.  There are some people who will find just about anything to complain about hoping to get free stuff.


My favorite that I have witnessed at restaurants is people complaining the food is horrid, after gobbling up more than 2/3 of the plate.
 
2013-04-01 10:24:17 AM  
Some people would biatch if you hung them with a new rope. Just human nature.
 
2013-04-01 10:28:28 AM  
Imagine! People like us work our asses off so some people can go on cruises. Then they complain about it.
 
2013-04-01 10:28:34 AM  
My last cruise wasn't that much fun. The ship was crowded and the staterooms were small. The food was bland. The ship was very noisy and lacked a pool. We had bad ports of call like Hurgada Egypt and Naples Italy. The only highlight was putting Tomahawk cruise missiles into Iraq
 
2013-04-01 10:33:52 AM  
Holland America is awesome; I can't recommend them enough.
 
2013-04-01 10:34:33 AM  

RoxtarRyan: Going on my first one this summer. All inclusive, of course. Even if the drinks are watered down because of that, hell, they are included in the price, so I'll just drink more of them.


Which cruise line?  Seabourn, Regent and SilverSea most definitely do NOT water down drinks.
 
2013-04-01 10:46:19 AM  

give me doughnuts: This just in: Humans can be stupid.


75% of humans are excessively stupid... the other 25% of us have to put up with them.
 
2013-04-01 10:49:25 AM  
"No, I said it's driving me nuts!"
 
2013-04-01 10:51:19 AM  

JDJoeE: Which cruise line? Seabourn, Regent and SilverSea most definitely do NOT water down drinks.


Damn... I can't remember. Was looking at prices yesterday. The prices are pretty good, about $400 for an oceanside all-inclusive room and 5 nights leaving from Charleston, and hitting up Nassau and Freeport. It may be one of the ones that is always having ships break down, so if that happens, expect a headline in the summer about two drunks dressed like pirates who pulled a mutiny and renamed the ship "Bulgravia".
 
Will definitely look again for those ones mentioned, though. I hate watered down drinks.
 
GBB
2013-04-01 10:55:20 AM  

give me doughnuts: This just in: Humans  can be are stupid.


FTFY
 
2013-04-01 11:15:44 AM  
The water was too wet
 
2013-04-01 11:22:09 AM  

Bermuda59: My last cruise wasn't that much fun. The ship was crowded and the staterooms were small. The food was bland. The ship was very noisy and lacked a pool. We had bad ports of call like Hurgada Egypt and Naples Italy. The only highlight was putting Tomahawk cruise missiles into Iraq


The last cruise I was on all they had was skeet shooting. I'm going to complain!
 
2013-04-01 11:24:54 AM  
The best cruise complaint I've ever heard came from a buddy of mine's new wife. They took a cruise for their honeymoon. She was very upset about a storm* they got caught in for a couple of hours one night during their cruise. She was all indignant. "Calm seas, they said. The brochure clearly says, 'enjoy sailing calm seas'". As if the crew is responsible for the weather.
 
*storm, not hurricane
/never been on a cruise
 
2013-04-01 11:28:35 AM  

UtopianDevil: Raider_dad: I would think that would help you sleep, like having a fan on or one of those white noise machines or even the el train going by so often you don't hear it.

 
We always prop the balcony door open so we can listen to it as we sleep. I sleep better on a cruise ship than I do at home.
 
For the first two nights, my family kept complaining they could feel the ship rocking. Not only didn't I mind it, it put me right to sleep.
 
"Hey, this rocking is kinda co....Zzzzzzz......"
 
2013-04-01 11:35:45 AM  

KierzanDax: For the first two nights, my family kept complaining they could feel the ship rocking. Not only didn't I mind it, it put me right to sleep.
 
"Hey, this rocking is kinda co....Zzzzzzz......"


 
The wife complained about the ship rocking on our first cruise. Now neither one of us even notices it after the first day unless it is really rough. Then you just need to drink enough that you stagger in time to the ship rocking.
 
2013-04-01 11:36:47 AM  
I want to believe this is all April Fool's stuff, but I've long since lost all faith in humanity. I'll give the odds at 50:50 on it being true or not.
 
2013-04-01 11:42:49 AM  

Guuberre: I want to believe this is all April Fool's stuff, but I've long since lost all faith in humanity. I'll give the odds at 50:50 on it being true or not.

 
It's almost certainly accurate. Similar story from out here in ranchland - family from Philadelphia bought a small ranch in the County, to live the "good life", get away from the city. After 3 months Mom and Dad attended a County Board meeting. Sought help in ridding the area of an awful stench. Once described we sat in stunned silence ... how do explain to  an idiot that that's the way ranches and farms smell? You know, manure?
 
They were offended when we started trying to hide our chuckles and soon sold the place and moved.
 
They wanted pristine, perfection. What they got was well water, unplowed graveled roads, coyotes and the smell of rich, rich manure.
 
Sweet.
 
2013-04-01 11:59:50 AM  
A cruse sounds like fun, except for all that Rampant diseases, floating adrift without toilets, rapie staff, but mostly all that drowning in water stuff.
 
2013-04-01 12:09:37 PM  

Clemkadidlefark: Guuberre: I want to believe this is all April Fool's stuff, but I've long since lost all faith in humanity. I'll give the odds at 50:50 on it being true or not.
 
It's almost certainly accurate. Similar story from out here in ranchland - family from Philadelphia bought a small ranch in the County, to live the "good life", get away from the city. After 3 months Mom and Dad attended a County Board meeting. Sought help in ridding the area of an awful stench. Once described we sat in stunned silence ... how do explain to  an idiot that that's the way ranches and farms smell? You know, manure?
 
They were offended when we started trying to hide our chuckles and soon sold the place and moved.
 
They wanted pristine, perfection. What they got was well water, unplowed graveled roads, coyotes and the smell of rich, rich manure.
 
Sweet.


That sounds like perfection to me.

/Grew up on a farm
 
2013-04-01 01:56:32 PM  

Clemkadidlefark: Guuberre: I want to believe this is all April Fool's stuff, but I've long since lost all faith in humanity. I'll give the odds at 50:50 on it being true or not.

It's almost certainly accurate. Similar story from out here in ranchland - family from Philadelphia bought a small ranch in the County, to live the "good life", get away from the city. After 3 months Mom and Dad attended a County Board meeting. Sought help in ridding the area of an awful stench. Once described we sat in stunned silence ... how do explain to  an idiot that that's the way ranches and farms smell? You know, manure?

They were offended when we started trying to hide our chuckles and soon sold the place and moved.

They wanted pristine, perfection. What they got was well water, unplowed graveled roads, coyotes and the smell of rich, rich manure.

Sweet.


Yes, my xenophobic, homophobic, right-wing mother-in-law forwards this cliché to me every few months. You guys sure do love the trope that city people are stupid. Whatever helps you tolerate the constant smell of fecal matter I guess .
 
2013-04-01 02:07:40 PM  

Earl of Chives: Clemkadidlefark: Guuberre: I want to believe this is all April Fool's stuff, but I've long since lost all faith in humanity. I'll give the odds at 50:50 on it being true or not.

It's almost certainly accurate. Similar story from out here in ranchland - family from Philadelphia bought a small ranch in the County, to live the "good life", get away from the city. After 3 months Mom and Dad attended a County Board meeting. Sought help in ridding the area of an awful stench. Once described we sat in stunned silence ... how do explain to  an idiot that that's the way ranches and farms smell? You know, manure?

They were offended when we started trying to hide our chuckles and soon sold the place and moved.

They wanted pristine, perfection. What they got was well water, unplowed graveled roads, coyotes and the smell of rich, rich manure.

Sweet.

Yes, my xenophobic, homophobic, right-wing mother-in-law forwards this cliché to me every few months. You guys sure do love the trope that city people are stupid. Whatever helps you tolerate the constant smell of fecal matter I guess .


The fact that your bloodline is defective has little bearing on the true matter of people moving into a place often try to make it just like the place they left.

EXample: Californians moving into neighboring states, attempting to replicate the laws from CA.
 
2013-04-01 03:44:58 PM  
What was the point of that article? Some bizarre counterpoint to the Carnival Cruise Clusterfark? Hey, how about we publish even more actual, valid complaints?

"After spending several minutes submerged in my cabin, I found that I couldn't breath and that my heartbeat wasfar too loud in my ears. Please ask the captain of the Costa Concordia to right the ship and drain my cabin, so... oh, wait, I drowned. Never mind. Signed, Underwater in Italy."

"I really loved the salad bar, but, next time, could you hold the norovirus-laced Caesar dressing? I've only two kidneys, and I've just shat one of them into the head. Signed, your average Carnival customer."

"The Carnival Freedom cruise was awesome! However, I do have one complaint - when your employee raped me, he also ruined my sophomore year book. Signed, a 14-year-old fan."
 
2013-04-01 04:56:08 PM  
You know, noise pollution is getting out of hand.  Why just a couple of weeks ago I went to See an NBA Wizards-Suns game and boy I'll tell you that the refs have got to start calling fouls on the players that dribble too loud.
 
2013-04-01 07:05:03 PM  

s1ugg0: In before the rush of mocking for cruise patrons by people who clearly have never been on a cruise before.


No, no, I think the idea of spending a week in an overpriced but tacky and crowded hotel from which escape is only intermittently and briefly possible sounds like tremendous fun. Oh, how I wish 1960s holiday camps were still available too.
 
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