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(West Chester Daily Local)   If you have random incoherent thoughts, you too can be an op ed writer at your local newspaper   (dailylocal.com) divider line 52
    More: Weird, U.S. Post Office, Cockeysville, Susan Lucci, roundabouts, Justice Center, traffic  
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7447 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Mar 2013 at 5:23 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-31 01:47:55 PM  
 That did come off as a weird stream combo of stream of consciousness writing combined with copious name dropping and deliberately floral prose, but it also had this gem:

FTFA: It appears as though the U.S. Post Office on East Gay Street in West Chester is constructed of Cockeysville marble

Maybe it's juvenile, but I giggled about that.
 
2013-03-31 03:14:57 PM  
If you're incoherent enough, you'll be promoted to publisher.
 
2013-03-31 05:26:03 PM  
FTA: mention of Cockeysville marble might actually get them to buy a beer

Or get you fired for sexual harassment.
 
2013-03-31 05:29:33 PM  
Those of us in the Madison area have the pleasure of Chris Rickert who's our own terrible local columnist.
 
2013-03-31 05:30:56 PM  
"Just a random thought or two twelve while standing at the crosswalk "
/ftfy
//subby nailed it +1
 
2013-03-31 05:33:28 PM  
Article is gone.
 
2013-03-31 05:35:46 PM  
cdn.inquisitr.com
 
2013-03-31 05:37:08 PM  

tuna fingers: Article is gone.


I had no problems reading it just now.

If that's what TFA author's exposition looks like, I'd love to see his twitter feed.
 
2013-03-31 05:38:08 PM  
Finally, the connection between Sarah Jessica Parker and Thomas U.Walter I was looking for!
 
2013-03-31 05:38:29 PM  
dafuq did i jut read?
 
2013-03-31 05:38:30 PM  
Someone's trying to be the local Dave Barry.
 
2013-03-31 05:40:42 PM  
Overly-excessive use of the word 'that'.  If the sentence you write/type sounds good without 'that', don't use it.  Farkin' amateurs...
 
2013-03-31 05:47:35 PM  

TuteTibiImperes: Maybe it's juvenile, but I giggled about that.


Maybe I'm retarded, but I didn't think of that joke until you pointed it out. (Then again I'm used to the name Cockeysville since I was just there yesterday.)

So now for my rambling inane DC connection story: I lived in an apartment years ago in a warehouse attic. A warehouse that used to be the foundry for some kind of bronze pieces to the columns which hold up the DC Capitol building. Someone with access to the basement claimed there were even large bronze pieces laying around in the basement that could've been interesting but I never went down there.

Anyway they're slag now after the fire that destroyed that whole area.
 
2013-03-31 05:50:36 PM  
Many years ago I owned a horse. The barn I kept him in had a tin roof. There is a minor amount of tin in a nickle. If I had a nickle every time I thought of how much that horse looked like Sarah Jessica Parker I would be rich.
 
2013-03-31 05:53:32 PM  

Moron Police: Those of us in the Madison area have the pleasure of Chris Rickert who's our own terrible local columnist.


At least as well as Art Paul Schlosser writes music...
 
2013-03-31 05:56:01 PM  
didn't any of you numbnuts assholes think to do a screen cap?

Jeez.
 
2013-03-31 05:56:57 PM  

TuteTibiImperes: That did come off as a weird stream combo of stream of consciousness writing combined with copious name dropping and deliberately floral prose, but it also had this gem:

FTFA: It appears as though the U.S. Post Office on East Gay Street in West Chester is constructed of Cockeysville marble

Maybe it's juvenile, but I giggled about that.


I'm at the corner of Gay St and MLK - I have no idea what to expect
 
2013-03-31 05:59:29 PM  
Link doesn't appear to be farked but heres the full text for anyone who cant see it:

Just a random thought or two while standing at the crosswalk in the 200 block of West Market Street in front of the Chester County Justice Center, watching motorists blithely violate the "yield to pedestrians" warnings on their way to whatever circle of hell is reserved for them.

By now, pretty much everyone and his or her dog knows how the tiny borough of West Chester has a firm historical connection to the great capital of Washington, D.C., and that this is not because my friend Jamie McVickar and I have shared a beer or two in both locations.

No, the one connect that most are aware of is the fact that the fellow who designed the Historic Chester County Courthouse is one Thomas U. Walter, who also had the fortune to be chosen to design the dome on the U.S. Capitol, as well as one or two of the wings. They really don't look much like one another, that building and ours, and truth be told if you had the chance to ask Thomas U. which he got more mileage out of I'd hazard a guess that it wouldn't be our cozy courthouse.

(By the way, here's hoping you don't soon have the chance to ask Thomas U. that very question, since he rang down the curtain and joined the choir invisible, to quote the poet, way back on All Hollow's Eve in 1887. Your ability to ask him that question could put a slight damper on your getting back to us with the answer, make no mistake about it.)

But recently I learned of another architectural link between the Washington D.C. Mall and West Chester, one I haven' quite had the chance to share with people I run into yet, mostly because I am too busy answering their questions about my upcoming appearance with soap opera star Susan Lucci on the program "Deadly Affairs" - an appearance that I can assure you has nothing to do with the 1887 death, or life, of Thomas Ustick Walter.

It appears as though the U.S. Post Office on East Gay Street in West Chester is constructed of Cockeysville marble, and that Cockeysville marble is one of the materials that were used in the construction of the Washington Monument. Who would have thought?

I admit that the mention of the connection between the marble used in the West Chester post office and the marble in the Washington Monument is not as likely to get me as noticed in conversation as the fact that Sarah Jessica Parker grew up next door to me on Lafayette Circle in Cincinnati, Ohio, and that I once dreamed of buying the dilapidated Volkswagen Minibus that her parents owned and driving it across country. Unless, of course, I was conversing with a totally nerdy bunch of construction material trivia fanatics, and then the mention of Cockeysville marble might actually get them to buy a beer or two for my friend Jamie and I next time we were in Washington, D.C. But that's not likely.


The news about the marble connection came via a recent story in the New York Times about the possibility that the U.S. Postal Service will sometime in the future have to sell off post offices across the country to pay of the debts that it ran up on the whole Lance Armstrong fiasco. The West Chester branch was mentioned, as were other buildings that are considered of historical as well as mail-related assets, and there was a photo of the front façade of the Gay Street branch on the front page of the Times.

It is somewhat disconcerting for a newspaper drudge like me to pick up a copy of the world's greatest newspaper and see a photograph of something in my backyard. There comes with such discovery, I must tell you, nothing like the thrill of being able to tell someone at the counter stool next to you at Penn's Table when a shot of Sarah Jessica Parker, promoting her latest entertainment vehicle, appears on the television screen above the milkshake machine, that she and I were once on a first name basis, especially during kick the can games on the street. Rather, there is the immediate, however momentary, nagging thought of, "Uh, oh. How did I get beat on this one?" followed by, "Think the boss will see?"

Hey lady! What part of 'Stop" don't you understand! Michael P. Rellahan is a staff reporter at the Daily Local News. Follow him on Twitter at @ChescoCourtNews.
 
2013-03-31 06:00:18 PM  
If you saw the movie "The Exorcist" you will note that it starts with an archeologic dig in Mosul, Iraq. And the curse of the Pazuza excavated from there hits the girl, named "Reagan". A name that surely represents America a decade and a three quarters before St. Ronnie's ascension. In the movie, Father Karras, who looks just like John Kerry, fails to rescue Reagan from the curse of Iraq. Just like John Kerry failed to stop the ongoing curse that Iraq was causing America 3 decades after the movie came out.

/not threadjacking, just writing in TFAs style though I'm serious.
 
2013-03-31 06:00:41 PM  

theorellior: Someone's trying to be the local Dave Barry.


Oddly enough, this is the same newspaper where Dave Barry got his start.
 
2013-03-31 06:01:45 PM  

BokChoy: Link doesn't appear to be farked but heres the full text for anyone who cant see it:

Just a random thought or two while standing at the crosswalk in the 200 block of West Market Street in front of the Chester County Justice Center, watching motorists blithely violate the "yield to pedestrians" warnings on their way to whatever circle of hell is reserved for them.

By now, pretty much everyone and his or her dog knows how the tiny borough of West Chester has a firm historical connection to the great capital of Washington, D.C., and that this is not because my friend Jamie McVickar and I have shared a beer or two in both locations.

No, the one connect that most are aware of is the fact that the fellow who designed the Historic Chester County Courthouse is one Thomas U. Walter, who also had the fortune to be chosen to design the dome on the U.S. Capitol, as well as one or two of the wings. They really don't look much like one another, that building and ours, and truth be told if you had the chance to ask Thomas U. which he got more mileage out of I'd hazard a guess that it wouldn't be our cozy courthouse.

(By the way, here's hoping you don't soon have the chance to ask Thomas U. that very question, since he rang down the curtain and joined the choir invisible, to quote the poet, way back on All Hollow's Eve in 1887. Your ability to ask him that question could put a slight damper on your getting back to us with the answer, make no mistake about it.)

But recently I learned of another architectural link between the Washington D.C. Mall and West Chester, one I haven' quite had the chance to share with people I run into yet, mostly because I am too busy answering their questions about my upcoming appearance with soap opera star Susan Lucci on the program "Deadly Affairs" - an appearance that I can assure you has nothing to do with the 1887 death, or life, of Thomas Ustick Walter.

It appears as though the U.S. Post Office on East Gay Street in West Chester is constructe ...


fark off, Tolstoy.
 
2013-03-31 06:13:26 PM  
Anyone recognize this fellow Farker?
 
2013-03-31 06:17:07 PM  
Random I'll give you, but it wasn't incoherent.  The two are not synonyms.  It was quite easy to follow.
 
2013-03-31 06:18:52 PM  
www.troll.me
 
2013-03-31 06:26:06 PM  
i'm getting really sick of shiat like this going green
 
2013-03-31 06:27:22 PM  

noitsnot: TuteTibiImperes: That did come off as a weird stream combo of stream of consciousness writing combined with copious name dropping and deliberately floral prose, but it also had this gem:

FTFA: It appears as though the U.S. Post Office on East Gay Street in West Chester is constructed of Cockeysville marble

Maybe it's juvenile, but I giggled about that.

I'm at the corner of Gay St and MLK - I have no idea what to expect


You should try going in Gay and coming out High.
 
2013-03-31 06:27:57 PM  
Perhaps Cockeysville marble can stop the traffic

I didn't get any further.  Must rush off and corner the Cockeysville marble market before the next big DDoS attack!
 
2013-03-31 06:36:07 PM  

rkiller1: Anyone recognize this fellow Farker?


No, but you smell like an abandoned hoagie.
 
2013-03-31 06:37:14 PM  

BarkingUnicorn: Perhaps Cockeysville marble can stop the traffic

I didn't get any further.  Must rush off and corner the Cockeysville marble market before the next big DDoS attack!


You still smell like a taint.
 
2013-03-31 06:44:16 PM  
....as well as one or two of the wings.

i.imgur.com
 
2013-03-31 06:46:56 PM  
I smell a career change opportunity.
 
2013-03-31 06:58:42 PM  
You know what grinds my gears?
 
2013-03-31 07:07:01 PM  
..what happens when hunter s thompson degrades into a painfully pedantic local man with a lot of free time..
 
2013-03-31 07:08:24 PM  
www.globalnerdy.com
 
2013-03-31 07:11:45 PM  
www.timecube.com
 
2013-03-31 07:29:38 PM  
My ignorance of Harmonic Cube is demonic.
My ignorance of Harmonic Cube is demonic.
My ignorance of Harmonic Cube is demonic.
My ignorance of Harmonic Cube is demonic.
My ignorance of Harmonic Cube is demonic.
My ignorance of Harmonic Cube is demonic.
 
2013-03-31 07:42:09 PM  

SBinRR:


The important thing is that he had an onion on his belt. Which was the style at the time.
 
2013-03-31 07:44:39 PM  
Ummmm...hmmmm...huh?! A-D-D I suspect.
 
2013-03-31 07:57:55 PM  
 "Not only was it authentic frontier gibberish, it expressed the courage little seen in this day and age."

/got nothin'
 
2013-03-31 08:17:47 PM  
There's a reason Mac's have been the machines in news rooms.

ruthless.zathras.de
 
2013-03-31 08:57:41 PM  

fortunesmith: Overly-excessive use of the word 'that'.  If the sentence you write/type sounds good without 'that', don't use it.  Farkin' amateurs...


That.
 
2013-03-31 09:04:38 PM  

Somaticasual: ..what happens when hunter s thompson degrades into a painfully pedantic local man with a lot of free time..


lh3.ggpht.com
 
2013-03-31 09:16:48 PM  

Porndip Poonpat: didn't any of you numbnuts assholes think to do a screen cap?


Porndip Poonpat: No, but you smell like an abandoned hoagie.


Porndip Poonpat: You still smell like a taint.


Are you trying to be an annoying n00b? Because it's working really well.
 
2013-03-31 09:43:55 PM  
if you have random, incoherent thoughts you're probably one of my facebook friends.
 
2013-03-31 10:13:40 PM  
Perhaps this WAS written by Dave Barry? As a goof?
 
2013-03-31 11:06:35 PM  
This honestly does read like something from the Onion.
 
2013-03-31 11:20:23 PM  

Oldiron_79: You know what grinds my gears?


Someone who pushes your stick before pressing in your clutch?
 
2013-03-31 11:59:48 PM  

theorellior: Porndip Poonpat: didn't any of you numbnuts assholes think to do a screen cap?

Porndip Poonpat: No, but you smell like an abandoned hoagie.

Porndip Poonpat: You still smell like a taint.

Are you trying to be an annoying n00b? Because it's working really well.


I bet it's TFA's author.
 
2013-04-01 12:24:42 AM  

Marcus Aurelius: theorellior: Someone's trying to be the local Dave Barry.

 
Oddly enough, this is the same newspaper where Dave Barry got his start.
 
Wow. So it is.
 
A key difference being that Mr. Rellahan's career will likely stall at that same paper, rather than explode beautifully like a beached Oregonian sperm whale.
 
2013-04-01 04:42:41 AM  
Its like Paul Harvey had a stroke.
 
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