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(Washington Post)   College students dislike hookup culture, would prefer old-timey dating   (washingtonpost.com) divider line 112
    More: Interesting, students, sexual intimacy, dating, interpersonal relationship, cultures, premarital sex  
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8352 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Mar 2013 at 5:45 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-31 01:51:43 AM
How about arranged marriages?
 
2013-03-31 02:16:10 AM
They should measure their mileage in rods to the hog's head.
 
2013-03-31 02:33:23 AM

Bucky Katt: How about arranged marriages?


Because, clearly, arranged marriages and drunken one-night stands are the only two options, there's no middle ground.
 
2013-03-31 04:43:24 AM
" Even when about 80 percent of students at Catholic, private secular and public schools say everyone is casual about sex, taking a step back from being sexually active for even a weekend - or as long as a semester, as one of my students did - can be extraordinarily empowering. "

I spent 4 years in college not being sexually active. I must be super empowered!

Or well a giant nerd. Same thing.
 
2013-03-31 05:55:46 AM
media.screened.com

I think you're cute, if you like me too, let's go out on a daaaate!

Thank you.
 
2013-03-31 05:59:42 AM
I get why hook up culture is so popular with younger guys but why do the young ladies like it?

Being overly casual with sex is as dumb as "saving it till you're married" in my book.
 
2013-03-31 06:00:20 AM
They dislike hook up culture when answering a survey in the hopes that such an answer will get them laid.
 
2013-03-31 06:08:36 AM

quatchi: I get why hook up culture is so popular with younger guys but why do the young ladies like it?


Well, you see, women can have these things called orgasms...
 
2013-03-31 06:10:34 AM

phalamir: quatchi: I get why hook up culture is so popular with younger guys but why do the young ladies like it?

Well, you see, women can have these things called orgasms...


Women don't date just for sex!

That'd make them sluts!
 
2013-03-31 06:15:13 AM

phalamir: Well, you see, women can have these things called orgasms...


Urban myth.
 
2013-03-31 06:15:54 AM

phalamir: Well, you see, women can have these things called orgasms...


Even the good ones?

*scandalized*
 
2013-03-31 06:30:10 AM
what bullshiat. have as much sex as you can while you're young, beautiful and able. life is too short so live it up.
 
2013-03-31 06:30:18 AM
What's wrong with being in love?

www.free-hdwallpapers.com
 
2013-03-31 06:30:38 AM
Just about anything would be an improvement for me.
 
2013-03-31 06:31:15 AM
POS

LOL
 
2013-03-31 06:32:06 AM
img.photobucket.com
 
2013-03-31 06:32:10 AM

phalamir: quatchi: I get why hook up culture is so popular with younger guys but why do the young ladies like it?

Well, you see, women can have these things called orgasms...


Really, young men involved in a one-off semi-drunk hook-up are both invested and competent enough to give young women a decent orgasm?  Or one at all?  Do men not remember how sexually incompetent they were at that age?  You don't get points for enthusiasm.  I would like to see a study on how many of the young women involved are being sexually satisfied, never mind their emotions.

Not saying young women aren't incompetent in bed, but it's a lot easier to get most men off.  As a lot of drunk young women have discovered, they don't even have to be conscious and men won't have a problem.

Anyway, colour me shocked that a generation who were raised on hedonism suddenly discover that they might have been sold a bill of goods by the marketing department of multinational corporations.  Casual sex is great, but the lustre wears off for most people, and they want companionship (men and women both).  Shocker.  If people want the best of both worlds, they need to find a partner who'll swing.  Problem solved.
 
2013-03-31 06:48:45 AM
While assisting me on a project, my daughters best friends boyfriend was describing to me how this beautiful and slutty 19 year old Russian girl was coming on to him and that the door was clearly open.

This guy's a sloppy beer-swilling Irish kid with a ton of personality and knew full well that she was otherwise out of his league.

He was facing a moral dilemma as to whether he should sleep with her (and cheat on his long time girlfriend) or not.

I told him that I wasn't about to tell him how to live his life, but that he should realize that no gorgeous 19 year old Russian girls were going to be breaking down his door in 20 years, personality or no.

He did the right thing.
 
2013-03-31 06:58:17 AM
As a looonngggg time college student, id prefer anarchy, unlimited drugs, and farking in the street like animals in a 3rd world open market. I doubt that was one of the 4 bubbles on the scantron answer sheets though. Eff the system maaannn
 
2013-03-31 07:07:05 AM

if_i_really_have_to: phalamir: quatchi: I get why hook up culture is so popular with younger guys but why do the young ladies like it?

Well, you see, women can have these things called orgasms...

Really, young men involved in a one-off semi-drunk hook-up are both invested and competent enough to give young women a decent orgasm?  Or one at all?


You have to teach men what a clitoris is at some point; better to get them while they're young.  And if you train the poor, dumb bastard to do his duty while drunk, imagine what he would be able to do sober.
 
2013-03-31 07:25:58 AM
People say they don't like the hookup culture, yet they make minimal effort in organizing dates (both sexes) and regularly get sloppy drunk and find ways not to end up back in their own bed.
 
2013-03-31 07:30:29 AM

if_i_really_have_to: Anyway, colour me shocked that a generation who were raised on hedonism suddenly discover that they might have been sold a bill of goods by the marketing department of multinational corporations.  Casual sex is great, but the lustre wears off for most people, and they want companionship (men and women both).  Shocker.  If people want the best of both worlds, they need to find a partner who'll swing.  Problem solved.


I'm almost 30, so I'm a little old for this study, but I never really did the dating thing. I always played for keeps, and most of my relationships were two years or more. I took a 3-day trip to Sacremento, decided to see how many guys I could catch in that period, was satisfied (if you'll excuse the pun), and that was that. Made my point and I'm good. I'm lucky enough I never caught anything. The nice part about casual sex is that you can have horrible sex with someone who doesn't matter, so that by the time the person that does matter shows up, you know what you're doing.
 
2013-03-31 07:37:01 AM
Kids always think they have it bad and go about ruining the good deal that they do have.
 
2013-03-31 07:47:14 AM
Ladies... if you're tired of men who have no idea what they're doing in bed, there's a simple solution.  Find yourself a nerdy virgin guy, I guarantee he's done his homework.  Then be willing to teach him exactly what you like.  It's what my first did with me, and I haven't had a complaint since.
 
2013-03-31 07:49:50 AM
I don't understand whether this hookup view increases the number of partners or just the casualness of the encounter.  Exactly how casual are these relationships before sex?
 
2013-03-31 07:53:13 AM

phalamir: quatchi: I get why hook up culture is so popular with younger guys but why do the young ladies like it?

Well, you see, women can have these things called orgasms...


Wait, so we're caring about that now?
 
2013-03-31 07:54:06 AM

phalamir: if_i_really_have_to: phalamir: quatchi: I get why hook up culture is so popular with younger guys but why do the young ladies like it?

Well, you see, women can have these things called orgasms...

Really, young men involved in a one-off semi-drunk hook-up are both invested and competent enough to give young women a decent orgasm?  Or one at all?

You have to teach men what a clitoris is at some point; better to get them while they're young.  And if you train the poor, dumb bastard to do his duty while drunk, imagine what he would be able to do sober.


Same end state, just much quicker?
 
2013-03-31 08:11:26 AM
The hookup culture is a direct response to women's current cultural conditioning (which is to forgo marriage and family until you're in your late 20's or 30's.) Most women want to get their careers going before they get married. (Okay. So far so good. So why are women unhappy?)

Women get lured into the college system by the siren song of "having it all." - going to school, having lots of meaningless sex with jerkass frat boys, "finding yourself" and being continuously told that you're awesome for getting a degree. Unfortunately,  many women choose to get degrees for careers that aren't very lucrative when compared to the careers men choose, due to those (the men's) jobs requiring the kind of time and physical effort which diminish their (the women's) quality of life and future options when it comes to starting a family. 91 percent of the trade and craft positions (the jobs which keep society running at its most fundamental level and which pay the most money) are held by men.

The top ten jobs for women these days are pretty much the same jobs women had back in 1960 - (secretary, nurse, teacher, cashier, salesperson, maid, childcare worker.) Women, for all of their crying about not wanting to be 1950's housewives, are pretty much STILL 1950's housewives, only they're no longer working in their OWN homes being supported by their husband's family wage. They're being de facto housewives OUTSIDE the home, with a large portion of the value they generate going to their employers and the government (in the form of taxes) and to daycare workers (whose income is ALSO taxed by the government. No wonder the CIA supported Gloria Steinem in her campaign to change women's attitudes about marriage and children and get them into the workforce. Women working is a huge boon for a large and powerful government, naturally.)

The government and college-industrial complex can squeeze even more money out of women by convincing them they need an extensive and expensive four year degree to get their De Facto Housewife Careers. Many women who might have been happy as Stay At Home Moms are encouraged to go to college and to forgo any and all long term relationships while they are there. But women still want to have sex, so casual hookups are pretty much the order of the day. Unfortunately casual hookups don't provide women with the warmth and companionship they crave. (They may be able to string along some schlubby, beta orbiter men to provide platonic, emotional support  for them while they go out and bang alpha bad boys and rock band drummers who treat them like crap, but that's about it.)

Kind of a sad state of affairs for women (or for men who wanted to form meaningful relationships with women.) Hedonists and pick up artists should find themselves having a field day at most college campuses, however.

Oh and if things weren't bad enough for women already, women are less likely to orgasm during casual sex.
 
2013-03-31 08:14:36 AM
its a regular meat market out there.   show your meat and see if it finds any buyers.
 
2013-03-31 08:15:24 AM
the hookup culture works well for animals.
 
2013-03-31 08:18:56 AM

phalamir: Well, you see, women can have these things called orgasms...


Bullshiat.

I've dated plenty of women, and not a single one ever had an orgasm.
 
2013-03-31 08:24:43 AM

Peki: The nice part about casual sex is that you can have horrible sex with someone who doesn't matter, so that by the time the person that does matter shows up, you know what you're doing.


The problem with that culture is that if everyone hooks up all the time with people who don't matter to them, it's highly unlikely that when you do find out a person who does matter,  you also matter to that person.

Hence, the bit in the article that refers to people feeling "empty," "miserable," "disgusted," "ashamed," "duped" and even "abused".
 
2013-03-31 08:33:01 AM
Hey, I  just met you
And there's no maybe
So here's my number
We'll f*ck like crazy
 
2013-03-31 08:33:07 AM
So we're finding out "feminism" has encouraged women to slosh around in the sexual gutter, rather than elevate men to a higher plane of dating, and as a result most of the women feel unsatisfied and a little trashy?  Color me surprised.

Guys are generally sexually loose due to biological makeup, and have always needed to be convinced to date in a manner better than rutting pigs.  The fact that many/most women forgot this resulted in the hookup culture.

I've always said if it dates like a whore, acts like a whore, and screws like a whore....
 
2013-03-31 08:37:11 AM

TomD9938: While assisting me on a project, my daughters best friends boyfriend was describing to me how this beautiful and slutty 19 year old Russian girl was coming on to him and that the door was clearly open.

This guy's a sloppy beer-swilling Irish kid with a ton of personality and knew full well that she was otherwise out of his league.

He was facing a moral dilemma as to whether he should sleep with her (and cheat on his long time girlfriend) or not.

I told him that I wasn't about to tell him how to live his life, but that he should realize that no gorgeous 19 year old Russian girls were going to be breaking down his door in 20 years, personality or no.

He did the right thing.




Disposed of her body when he was done, so she could not tell his girlfriend?
 
2013-03-31 08:52:05 AM

RockofAges: I told him that I wasn't about to tell him how to live his life, but that he should realize that no gorgeous 19 year old Russian girls were going to be breaking down his door in 20 years, personality or no.


Not if he's rich.

yourmomlovestetris: The government and college-industrial complex can squeeze even more money out of women by convincing them they need an extensive and expensive four year degree to get their De Facto Housewife Careers. Many women who might have been happy as Stay At Home Moms are encouraged to go to college and to forgo any and all long term relationships while they are there.


Dear God you so oversimplify things!  Not all women WANT to be stay at home moms.  The hookup culture is shallow, but going to college doesn't mean that you HAVE to partake of it.  You do have to choice to decide what your values are, and stick to them.

/some of my female grad school classmates have very lucrative careers in things like law, the pharmaceutical industry, etc.
//AND families
 
2013-03-31 08:58:41 AM

quatchi: I get why hook up culture is so popular with younger guys but why do the young ladies like it?

Being overly casual with sex is as dumb as "saving it till you're married" in my book.


At many universities, it's a power game. Emotional attachment is seen as a weakness since it distracts from the Single Female Lawyer track, and young women see sleeping with guys and them kicking out as a way to prove they're in charge. (And soon, of course, there's also lots of competition between them to see who can attract more unrequited male interest.)
 
2013-03-31 09:09:00 AM

Harry_Seldon: What's wrong with being in love?

[www.free-hdwallpapers.com image 425x318]


static.wix.com
 
2013-03-31 09:12:44 AM
Unfortunately not all people want the same thing, but we stupidly think they do. Sometimes it feels like everyone's out there getting some with random people or fark buddies or whatever, while I'm just not the kind of person to seek that sort of thing out. I've done it (1 one night stand, 1 fark buddy experience) but I was in the right frame of mind for it. When I was younger, all I wanted was a boyfriend and that lead to a lot of heartache when guys didn't feel the same way.

The fact that there is a "hook-up culture" just means that people are doing what they think they should be doing. This goes the other way too. I've known of people who went along with a relationship, got married, had kids because they thought that that is what they should be doing.
 
2013-03-31 09:15:58 AM

if_i_really_have_to: phalamir: quatchi: I get why hook up culture is so popular with younger guys but why do the young ladies like it?

Well, you see, women can have these things called orgasms...

Really, young men involved in a one-off semi-drunk hook-up are both invested and competent enough to give young women a decent orgasm?  Or one at all?  Do men not remember how sexually incompetent they were at that age?  You don't get points for enthusiasm.  I would like to see a study on how many of the young women involved are being sexually satisfied, never mind their emotions.

Not saying young women aren't incompetent in bed, but it's a lot easier to get most men off.  As a lot of drunk young women have discovered, they don't even have to be conscious and men won't have a problem.

Anyway, colour me shocked that a generation who were raised on hedonism suddenly discover that they might have been sold a bill of goods by the marketing department of multinational corporations.  Casual sex is great, but the lustre wears off for most people, and they want companionship (men and women both).  Shocker.  If people want the best of both worlds, they need to find a partner who'll swing.  Problem solved.


See also, my screen name. Best of both worlds, indeed! 14 years of wonderful marriage, 5 years of crazy fun swinging! Without a doubt the best choice we ever made.

/YMMV
//YOLO
 
2013-03-31 09:15:59 AM
Unlikely?

Asinine??

Satire???
 
2013-03-31 09:20:39 AM

fickenchucker: So we're finding out "feminism" has encouraged women to slosh around in the sexual gutter, rather than elevate men to a higher plane of dating, and as a result most of the women feel unsatisfied and a little trashy?  Color me surprised.

Guys are generally sexually loose due to biological makeup, and have always needed to be convinced to date in a manner better than rutting pigs.  The fact that many/most women forgot this resulted in the hookup culture.

I've always said if it dates like a whore, acts like a whore, and screws like a whore....


And we're led to women biatching and moaning about men not treating them or respecting them properly. No one takes care of a rental car like their own, cause, well, it's not. Dozens, if not hundreds of men have driven those rentals, put on far too many miles, and in the end those rentals are pretty much worthless. People buy new cars for a reason. People buy used, worn cars cause they're cheap.
 
2013-03-31 09:23:39 AM
Trust me: women can definitely be incompetent in bed.

Dated a girl once in college who was SO bad i made.up excuses to NOT have sex with her. Obviously, relationship didnt last long.

Buddy of mine dated her about a year later, finally asked me "I ask you something? Um...when you were with her, did u actually ever...you know..get off? Because im assuming its me, but the sex is TERRIBLE!!"
 
2013-03-31 09:27:51 AM

The more you eat the more you fart: Trust me: women can definitely be incompetent in bed.

Dated a girl once in college who was SO bad i made.up excuses to NOT have sex with her. Obviously, relationship didnt last long.

Buddy of mine dated her about a year later, finally asked me "I ask you something? Um...when you were with her, did u actually ever...you know..get off? Because im assuming its me, but the sex is TERRIBLE!!"


Don't you find it creepy or gross that you and your buddy both had sex with the same girl? It's like wiping with the same piece of toilet paper, or using same washcloth.
 
2013-03-31 09:33:25 AM

cygnusx13: They dislike hook up culture when answering a survey in the hopes that such an answer will get them laid.


Yep. Also the churchie girls are usally eager to please once they make the transition from "premarital sex is forbidden" to "this is hot be because it is forbidden".
 
2013-03-31 09:34:44 AM

robohobo: Don't you find it creepy or gross that you and your

buddy both had sex with the same girl? It's like wiping with the same piece of toilet paper, or using same washcloth.

Yeah, I know, right? You've totally used that b*tch up, you don't want to know who goes in there afterward.

/what the f*ck man
 
2013-03-31 09:35:53 AM

fickenchucker: So we're finding out "feminism" has encouraged women to slosh around in the sexual gutter, rather than elevate men to a higher plane of dating, and as a result most of the women feel unsatisfied and a little trashy?  Color me surprised.


This.  The current idea of "sexual equality" is for women to be able to dress up like skanks in public, screw whoever they want all while being able to say "no".  Which is, frankly, their right.  There's nothing wrong with that, but in accumulating all that power they've missed the point, leaving me wondering if they've really empowered themselves at all.  Women have successfully brought themselves down to the men's gutter, but intimacy is just as much a learned behavior as good sex and you're not going to find it among the trash.
 
2013-03-31 09:38:20 AM

robohobo: The more you eat the more you fart: Trust me: women can definitely be incompetent in bed.

Dated a girl once in college who was SO bad i made.up excuses to NOT have sex with her. Obviously, relationship didnt last long.

Buddy of mine dated her about a year later, finally asked me "I ask you something? Um...when you were with her, did u actually ever...you know..get off? Because im assuming its me, but the sex is TERRIBLE!!"

Don't you find it creepy or gross that you and your buddy both had sex with the same girl? It's like wiping with the same piece of toilet paper, or using same washcloth.


This is probably the biggest complaint I've heard from my male friends about the casual sex aspects of college.  It was fun and awesome to hook up with some girl - but if they found out they actually *liked* her and wanted to be with her longer-term; they were pretty disappointed when they realized she'd also slept with half his social circle.

Personally, I don't mind how many partners a girl has had or what kinky stuff she might have done, but I *do* object to dating a girl who has slept with any of my friends.  Maybe I'm a prude, but that just seems like a recipe for trouble.  I know lots of guys who had problems dating girls in (and after) college for similar reasons.
 
2013-03-31 09:40:58 AM

robohobo: The more you eat the more you fart: Trust me: women can definitely be incompetent in bed.

Dated a girl once in college who was SO bad i made.up excuses to NOT have sex with her. Obviously, relationship didnt last long.

Buddy of mine dated her about a year later, finally asked me "I ask you something? Um...when you were with her, did u actually ever...you know..get off? Because im assuming its me, but the sex is TERRIBLE!!"

Don't you find it creepy or gross that you and your buddy both had sex with the same girl? It's like wiping with the same piece of toilet paper, or using same washcloth.


He was the one using the used toilet paper...not me. Lol
 
2013-03-31 09:43:16 AM

A Shambling Mound: robohobo: Don't you find it creepy or gross that you and your buddy both had sex with the same girl? It's like wiping with the same piece of toilet paper, or using same washcloth.

Yeah, I know, right? You've totally used that b*tch up, you don't want to know who goes in there afterward.

/what the f*ck man


Um..plus he dated her a little more than a year after she and i split.
 
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