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(Uproxx)   20 Things More Likely To Happen Than North Korea Nuking The U.S   (smokingsection.uproxx.com) divider line 34
    More: Misc, North Korea, Lil Kim, Billy Dee Williams, Lupe Fiasco, Ja Rule, Suge Knight, Dennis Rodman, B.I.G.  
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18625 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Mar 2013 at 12:03 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-03-31 12:11:41 AM
5 votes:
Slide show...

data.whicdn.com
2013-03-31 12:52:57 AM
4 votes:
Kim Jung Un knows how to throw a party. Of course his version is when the cops(U.S.A) breaks down the door, they help fix up the place.

Oh and since its Sunday Sunday Sundayyyyy.

i.imgur.com
2013-03-31 12:17:39 AM
4 votes:

JosephFinn: Look, sue me, but the Bille Dee Williams line was funny.


I'm going to need some contact information for your lawyer.
2013-03-31 02:23:59 AM
3 votes:

Fista-Phobia: The Bestest: Maximum range does not also imply accuracy

Agreed.I call it... semi-ballistic!


cdn.theatlantic.com

"Today, a day which will live in infamy, North Korea accidently nuked a 250 sq mi section of the Pacific Ocean in a location we've confirmed to be the safest, most distant from any populated area possible.

The President has ordered an immediate retaliation of 'lol cat' emails at the regime and to show his concern for the situation, is flying to Hawaii for a week of vacation with his family.

Secretary of Defense ordered construction of additional anti-missle batteries along the Pacific Ocean repeating over and over again "this has nothing to do with long term strategies vs the Russian and Chinese and we are totally concerned about North Korea""

/And that really is, the way it is.
2013-03-31 01:22:39 AM
3 votes:
The list was dumb.  However, this .gif made me LOL:

i63.photobucket.com
2013-03-31 12:23:18 AM
3 votes:
That was so insightful and witty - great list. Found myself nodding my head in agreement at every slide. Oh wait. That's not true. It was terrible and dull. The person who wrote it should read this post, and feel horrible. First they will think I liked it, and then their hopes are crushed by my bitter disapproval! Then, if my plans work out right, they will live out the rest of their existence on a daily balance of antidepressants, anxiolytics and lithium, until one day it all becomes just too much and they have to beg an understanding relative for airfare so they can make their way to Switzerland where Dignitas can put them out of my misery.
2013-03-31 12:07:21 AM
3 votes:
That list was very successful and attractive.
2013-03-31 07:07:43 AM
2 votes:
cdn.ebaumsworld.com
2013-03-31 12:19:22 AM
2 votes:

bluorangefyre: Did I actually get the Ja Rule/50 Cent bit of comedy?



No.
2013-03-31 12:08:41 AM
2 votes:
Uproxx - the next Fark.com Sponsored Partner Links.
2013-03-31 04:23:02 AM
1 votes:

buravirgil: Infernalist:  I was merely remarking in my Boobies that 'oil' isn't the only treasure in the world that a nation would necessarily go to war over.

I agree with that. Developed nations make no bones about "protecting their interests", but that patent explanation is interpreted in all sorts of ways.

And considering China's efforts in the RRE market, I wouldn't be surprised if we didn't eventually see a slow-motion occupation of NK by the Chinese military, to be slowly absorbed into Greater China.

Yeah, but would it be along the lines of Honk Kong?




ts3.mm.bing.net
HONK!

HK is more modern than the country that "owns" it.  Not the same.

The citizens don't consider themselves Chinese.  Same.
2013-03-31 02:49:54 AM
1 votes:

Fista-Phobia: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 520x408]


I have a hard time believing they have a Taepodong that big.
2013-03-31 02:15:04 AM
1 votes:
1. If we drop donuts over Pyonyang, Kim jong-il won't be able to give the order to fire with his mouth full.
2. If Best Korea nukes the US, Kim's bff Rodman will get killed.
3. There's a 50-50 chance a Best Korean nuke missile would explode on the launch pad.
4. A missile on a launch pad is vulnerable to attack by drones.
2013-03-31 02:13:53 AM
1 votes:

The Bestest: Maximum range does not also imply accuracy


Agreed.I call it... semi-ballistic!
2013-03-31 01:57:00 AM
1 votes:

Lee Jackson Beauregard: Cagey B: JonZoidberg: How many times does N Korea get to make threats before we pre-emptively carpet bomb Pyongyang?  If a real country made those kinds of gestures, wouldn't we respond?

1. Everyone knows North Korea isn't actually going to nuke the US. For many, already discussed reasons.
2. We don't generally go to war because someone "made some threats".
3. We're not going to go to war with North Korea for a host of tactical and strategic reasons, which have been discussed at length.
4. While we have kind of a history of being dicks to the world, I don't think even the US would initiate an armed conflict because a guy hurt our collective feelings in a press release.
5. "Pre-emptive" wars haven't worked out too well for us in the recent past.
6. Indiscriminately bombing Pyongyang would not do anything to harm North Korea's nuclear capacity (in this case, the fictional launch capability they have to supposedly nuke us). It would, however, be certain to ensure the enmity of every regional power (including South Korea), except maybe Japan.

7. North Korea does not have oil.


But it has unicorns...
2013-03-31 01:43:15 AM
1 votes:
UPROXX ROXX!

Now pay me
2013-03-31 01:40:57 AM
1 votes:

iron de havilland: sand_in_my_vagoo: Number 15 (Sallie Mae forgiving student loan debt) just needs happen regardless of whether or not North Korea has nukes. Imagine what it would do for the economy...

But that would


Meh. I had a salient point to make, but I think I'll leave everyone hanging.

G'night, Fark.
2013-03-31 01:20:27 AM
1 votes:

Pelvic Splanchnic Ganglion: JosephFinn: Look, sue me, but the Bille Dee Williams line was funny.

I'm going to need some contact information for your lawyer.


This. You're probably looking at a class action law suit.
2013-03-31 01:18:12 AM
1 votes:
Where da funny?

Da funny, where it at?
2013-03-31 01:07:16 AM
1 votes:
Submitter, what you've just linked to is one of the most insanely un-funny links I have ever read. At no point in that rambling, incoherent slide show was it close to anything that could be considered creatively witty or humorous. Everyone in this forum is now dumber for having read it. You are awarded no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
2013-03-31 12:46:37 AM
1 votes:
If I have hot sex with Sophia Vergara (or how ever she spells her name) and Billie Dee Williams is standing outside the hotel room to high five me, then yeah, nuke the nation because there isn't shiat left for me to do that could top it.
2013-03-31 12:45:24 AM
1 votes:

TV's Vinnie: It's hard to take Best Korea seriously when you've seen those "Squirrel and Hedgehog" propaganda cartoons they've been putting out. The fine upstanding citizens have been having a field day drawing fan art of "WOLFMURRICA!" (the American bad guys in the cartoon are portrayed as wolves) and have latched onto "Lt. Fox Vixen" as if she were the new Derpy.

[rule34-data-002.paheal.net image 588x729]


It's like really reallllly shiatty Winger art, with added propoganda!
2013-03-31 12:40:32 AM
1 votes:
If NK does nuke us, we deserve it after that shiatshow....er...slideshow.
2013-03-31 12:40:07 AM
1 votes:

neongoats: You know, its rare that I read something from fark so unfunny as to actually make me angry to have wasted 3 minutes. But there you have it, my easter gift from fark.


The funny interns got Good Friday off for being funny.
2013-03-31 12:39:11 AM
1 votes:

ArcadianRefugee: How about things less likely?

* Cracked.com publishing an article on a single page
* Gizmodo.com publishing 100% original material
* FarkTV making a comeback

...


It was almost funnier than the entire slideshow. Except, for the love of Cthulhu, don't joke about FarkTV coming back. That's just not cool.
2013-03-31 12:35:58 AM
1 votes:
How about things less likely?

* Cracked.com publishing an article on a single page
* Gizmodo.com publishing 100% original material
* FarkTV making a comeback

...
2013-03-31 12:35:42 AM
1 votes:
Wait is this a black thing?
2013-03-31 12:32:01 AM
1 votes:

oukewldave: Sure this isn't just a list of random rappers?


Leonardo DiCaprio is a rapper now?
2013-03-31 12:29:51 AM
1 votes:

3rdtimearound: That was so insightful and witty - great list. Found myself nodding my head in agreement at every slide. Oh wait. That's not true. It was terrible and dull. The person who wrote it should read this post, and feel horrible. First they will think I liked it, and then their hopes are crushed by my bitter disapproval! Then, if my plans work out right, they will live out the rest of their existence on a daily balance of antidepressants, anxiolytics and lithium, until one day it all becomes just too much and they have to beg an understanding relative for airfare so they can make their way to Switzerland where Dignitas can put them out of my misery.


I lol'd then nodded in agreement
2013-03-31 12:28:10 AM
1 votes:
This has to go up as the worst greenlight of the year, maybe the century.
2013-03-31 12:24:09 AM
1 votes:
I didn't get it, probably because it was full of black people I don't know.
2013-03-31 12:12:59 AM
1 votes:
Well, that was tarded.
2013-03-31 12:00:49 AM
1 votes:
Making a clever list of things more likely to happen than North Korea nuking the US strangely absent.
2013-03-30 10:06:22 PM
1 votes:
21. FARKers get laid.
 
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