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(The Sun)   There is a chance that the ancient scriptures were right and Justin Bieber has just heralded in the End Times by sparking a global pandemic after he smuggled a monkey into Europe on a private jet   (thesun.co.uk) divider line 63
    More: Scary, Justin Bieber, Europe, the O2 Arena, private jet, Michael Jackson  
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4187 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 30 Mar 2013 at 10:27 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-30 08:08:33 AM  
I've never given a shiat about Bieber, but I must admit his slow slide in Jacksonesque behavior and his eventual Lohaning are providing me with some small entertainment.
 
2013-03-30 08:27:26 AM  
i hate to judge, i've never walked a mile in his shoes.  i bet they are some pretty nice shoes.
 
2013-03-30 09:17:16 AM  
That's no way to talk about Taylor Swift
 
2013-03-30 09:58:05 AM  
th02.deviantart.net
Really? This wasn't the booooobbbies?
 
2013-03-30 10:34:04 AM  
You maniac!
 
2013-03-30 10:34:14 AM  
Who the fark wants to spend time around monkeys?  Damn things are creepier in an 'almost human' way than children are.
 
2013-03-30 10:34:17 AM  
I wish he would OD, have 24/7 coverage about it for a week, then never hear about him again.
 
2013-03-30 10:38:01 AM  
Bieber's a smart cookie, really smart. He obviously made a massive investment in a few carefully selected Pharma companies, the sort that produce the sort of drugs that we all need to take just so we can put up with his constant and never-ending pitiful asshattery.
He'll be richer than that Madonna woman with the man arms in no time, which is an hysterical coincidence when you remember they both smell like three week old semen encrusted latex lightly coated in santorum and doused in sweat.
Oh, no that isn't hysterical, sorry, the meds... they confuse me.
 
2013-03-30 10:38:44 AM  

show me: Really? This wasn't the booooobbbies?


too obvious. think outbreak.
 
2013-03-30 10:39:57 AM  
I wonder if he ever spanked his monkey?
 
2013-03-30 10:42:26 AM  

oukewldave: I wish he would OD, have 24/7 coverage about it for a week, then never hear about him again.


img.photobucket.com
 
2013-03-30 10:46:54 AM  
To be fair, he did leave his salmon helmet, rapping macaw, and the skeleton of King Kong Bundy at home.
 
2013-03-30 10:49:41 AM  
Was the monkey named Klaus?
 
2013-03-30 10:55:21 AM  
"Take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape!"

--Justin Beiber's monkey
 
2013-03-30 11:03:33 AM  
Release the monkey.

Put down the dumbass.
 
2013-03-30 11:20:21 AM  
Stupid filthy poop flinging primate. And what's that monkey doing on it's shoulder?
 
2013-03-30 11:32:34 AM  
i.imgur.com

I wonder which one has a higher IQ.
 
2013-03-30 11:48:13 AM  

Hand Banana: [i.imgur.com image 400x436]

I wonder which one has a higher IQ.


what's with all the stupid faces he's always making? do girls really like the 'tard' look? are a bunch of down syndrome guys getting laid because of him?
 
2013-03-30 11:48:49 AM  
Rockofages-monkey-punches-paul-giamatta.jpg
 
2013-03-30 11:58:17 AM  
I've never heard a Beiber song, that I know of. And yes he is a bit of a douche, but I don't get the hate.  He's 19, filthy rich (self made no less), and he has a billion chicks who want to bang him.

I'd trade places in a heart beat and probably do a hundred things douchier (sp) than that.
 
2013-03-30 12:04:34 PM  
Ugh. Won't somebody do something about this pre-puebescent Canadian diva? Where's John Hinkley Jr. when you need him?
 
2013-03-30 12:07:44 PM  
Yes, I know. Not a prez and not a successful assassin....still. maybe second time's the charm...
 
2013-03-30 12:19:25 PM  
"...suicide is painless
it brings on many changes
and I can take or leave it if I please.
...and you can do the same thing if you please...... "

/seriously, kill yourself, Biever.
 
2013-03-30 12:20:05 PM  

Walker: oukewldave: I wish he would OD, have 24/7 coverage about it for a week, then never hear about him again.

[img.photobucket.com image 379x214]


I'd make a Club 27 joke about how Canadians only get three quarters on the exchange rate but their currency has been at parity for a while now. Looks like our best hope for an early out is he dies in a tragic accident, so someone buy him a motorcycle.
 
2013-03-30 12:24:34 PM  
Just when I thought we Canadians had apologized enough for Celine Dion and Nickleback, Beiber comes along and we have to start all over again

/sorry
 
2013-03-30 12:29:59 PM  
That's it. Bieber's in the Tyson Zone now.
 
2013-03-30 12:36:14 PM  

Charlie Chingas: Hand Banana: [i.imgur.com image 400x436]

I wonder which one has a higher IQ.

what's with all the stupid faces he's always making? do girls really like the 'tard' look? are a bunch of down syndrome guys getting laid because of him?


Also, why is he taking photos in a garage?
 
2013-03-30 01:00:52 PM  

unitednihilists: I don't get the hate


The creepy pre-pubescent look. The outfits that scream "Mom dresses me in the most 'edgy' clothes she finds on sale at Penney's". The Michael Jackson-like inability to engage the world in an adult way.
 
2013-03-30 01:02:28 PM  

wildcardjack: Walker: oukewldave: I wish he would OD, have 24/7 coverage about it for a week, then never hear about him again.

[img.photobucket.com image 379x214]

I'd make a Club 27 joke about how Canadians only get three quarters on the exchange rate but their currency has been at parity for a while now. Looks like our best hope for an early out is he dies in a tragic accident, so someone buy him a motorcycle.


I remember seeing something on a motorcycle blog, with him on a Ducati 848, and the only safety gear he had on was a helmet. Unfortunately he hasn't tried to show off on The Snake yet.
 
2013-03-30 01:05:14 PM  

jaytkay: unitednihilists: I don't get the hate

The creepy pre-pubescent look. The outfits that scream "Mom dresses me in the most 'edgy' clothes she finds on sale at Penney's". The Michael Jackson-like inability to engage the world in an adult way.


At least Michael Jackson had the excuse of a seriously farked up childhood, complete with an abusive asshole for a father. Bieber on the other hand comes by his douchebaggery naturally.
 
2013-03-30 01:13:21 PM  

unitednihilists: I've never heard a Beiber song, that I know of. And yes he is a bit of a douche, but I don't get the hate.  He's 19, filthy rich (self made no less), and he has a billion chicks who want to bang him.

I'd trade places in a heart beat and probably do a hundred things douchier (sp) than that.


You're damn straight I'd trade places in less than heartbeat (and be a terrible person), doesn't mean I'm not tired of hearing about him.
 
2013-03-30 01:17:24 PM  
I just realized the headline we all want to see...

"Justin Beiber horribly mutilated after pet monkey rips his face off."

It would be the Monkey's Paw grade irony FTW.
 
2013-03-30 01:35:09 PM  
Did he break the seventh seal?

farm8.staticflickr.com
 
2013-03-30 01:44:38 PM  
i2.ytimg.com

I'm a musician; the monkey is a businessman.  One day I flew and I found him sitting in my airplane. I let him stay, but he pays for his own room and board.
 
2013-03-30 01:46:01 PM  
An off-duty cop was looking into buy a friend's monkey.

The cop ask my friend "Does your monkey bite?"

Just as my friend was answering "Nah, he's real tame", the monkey launched himself at the cop's face.

He wasn't a buyer.
 
2013-03-30 01:56:36 PM  
l.yimg.com
"HIS NAME IS SIR MONKEYTON ESQ. III YOU SONUVABIATCH! I'LL KICK YOUR ASS!"
 
2013-03-30 02:08:32 PM  

unitednihilists: but I don't get the hate.


Barely hidden contempt for his fans would be one thing. Like getting on stage over an hour late with no reason provided except for "technical issues" and that reason only provided when the media started asking what was up after the fact. Canceling shows on account of weak ticket sales when said sales aren't exactly weak.
 
2013-03-30 02:38:43 PM  

LectertheChef: wildcardjack: Walker: oukewldave: I wish he would OD, have 24/7 coverage about it for a week, then never hear about him again.

[img.photobucket.com image 379x214]

I'd make a Club 27 joke about how Canadians only get three quarters on the exchange rate but their currency has been at parity for a while now. Looks like our best hope for an early out is he dies in a tragic accident, so someone buy him a motorcycle.

I remember seeing something on a motorcycle blog, with him on a Ducati 848, and the only safety gear he had on was a helmet. Unfortunately he hasn't tried to show off on The Snake yet.


i.imgur.com
 
2013-03-30 02:53:33 PM  

Karne: LectertheChef: wildcardjack: Walker: oukewldave: I wish he would OD, have 24/7 coverage about it for a week, then never hear about him again.

[img.photobucket.com image 379x214]

I'd make a Club 27 joke about how Canadians only get three quarters on the exchange rate but their currency has been at parity for a while now. Looks like our best hope for an early out is he dies in a tragic accident, so someone buy him a motorcycle.

I remember seeing something on a motorcycle blog, with him on a Ducati 848, and the only safety gear he had on was a helmet. Unfortunately he hasn't tried to show off on The Snake yet.

[i.imgur.com image 665x643]


Yep, that's the one. He needs to take that thing on The Snake, while drunk.
 
2013-03-30 02:57:54 PM  

LectertheChef: Karne: LectertheChef: wildcardjack: Walker: oukewldave: I wish he would OD, have 24/7 coverage about it for a week, then never hear about him again.

[img.photobucket.com image 379x214]

I'd make a Club 27 joke about how Canadians only get three quarters on the exchange rate but their currency has been at parity for a while now. Looks like our best hope for an early out is he dies in a tragic accident, so someone buy him a motorcycle.

I remember seeing something on a motorcycle blog, with him on a Ducati 848, and the only safety gear he had on was a helmet. Unfortunately he hasn't tried to show off on The Snake yet.

[i.imgur.com image 665x643]

Yep, that's the one. He needs to take that thing on The Snake, while drunk.


He has 3 or 4 of the fastest bikes you can own, it's only a matter of time really.
 
2013-03-30 03:04:49 PM  

Karne: LectertheChef: Karne: LectertheChef: wildcardjack: Walker: oukewldave: I wish he would OD, have 24/7 coverage about it for a week, then never hear about him again.

[img.photobucket.com image 379x214]

I'd make a Club 27 joke about how Canadians only get three quarters on the exchange rate but their currency has been at parity for a while now. Looks like our best hope for an early out is he dies in a tragic accident, so someone buy him a motorcycle.

I remember seeing something on a motorcycle blog, with him on a Ducati 848, and the only safety gear he had on was a helmet. Unfortunately he hasn't tried to show off on The Snake yet.

[i.imgur.com image 665x643]

Yep, that's the one. He needs to take that thing on The Snake, while drunk.

He has 3 or 4 of the fastest bikes you can own, it's only a matter of time really.


Aside from not wishing harm on anyone would you really want him to become a pop martyr and never ever go away, like Elvis? Just let him get a little older and he'll soon be a washed up has been cast aside and forgotten.
 
2013-03-30 03:09:39 PM  

unitednihilists: I don't get the hate.  He's 19, filthy rich (self made no less), and he has a billion chicks who want to bang him.



I think you just answered your own query.

Also, he really does act like a spoiled brat, and nobody likes dealing with a spoiled brat.
 
2013-03-30 03:21:13 PM  

Skyfrog: Karne: LectertheChef: Karne: LectertheChef: wildcardjack: Walker: oukewldave: I wish he would OD, have 24/7 coverage about it for a week, then never hear about him again.

[img.photobucket.com image 379x214]

I'd make a Club 27 joke about how Canadians only get three quarters on the exchange rate but their currency has been at parity for a while now. Looks like our best hope for an early out is he dies in a tragic accident, so someone buy him a motorcycle.

I remember seeing something on a motorcycle blog, with him on a Ducati 848, and the only safety gear he had on was a helmet. Unfortunately he hasn't tried to show off on The Snake yet.

[i.imgur.com image 665x643]

Yep, that's the one. He needs to take that thing on The Snake, while drunk.

He has 3 or 4 of the fastest bikes you can own, it's only a matter of time really.

Aside from not wishing harm on anyone would you really want him to become a pop martyr and never ever go away, like Elvis? Just let him get a little older and he'll soon be a washed up has been cast aside and forgotten.


I personally don't wish any harm on the dude at all, no hate here. I'm just jealous of his 3 or 4 sweet ass bikes.  He should be wearing more protection, although. At least some gloves and leather jacket. Stay around a little while and enjoy those millions.
 
2013-03-30 03:25:49 PM  

Karne: LectertheChef: wildcardjack: Walker: oukewldave: I wish he would OD, have 24/7 coverage about it for a week, then never hear about him again.

[img.photobucket.com image 379x214]

I'd make a Club 27 joke about how Canadians only get three quarters on the exchange rate but their currency has been at parity for a while now. Looks like our best hope for an early out is he dies in a tragic accident, so someone buy him a motorcycle.

I remember seeing something on a motorcycle blog, with him on a Ducati 848, and the only safety gear he had on was a helmet. Unfortunately he hasn't tried to show off on The Snake yet.

[i.imgur.com image 665x643]


Hey wait a minute. "Total Squid?" Is that an insult? I mean, that was my nickname in junior high. What the hey?...
 
2013-03-30 03:33:10 PM  

WhyteRaven74: unitednihilists: but I don't get the hate.

Barely hidden contempt for his fans would be one thing. Like getting on stage over an hour late with no reason provided except for "technical issues" and that reason only provided when the media started asking what was up after the fact. Canceling shows on account of weak ticket sales when said sales aren't exactly weak.


Would like a word with you.

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-03-30 03:50:54 PM  
Can't believe the noise over the 'I don't get the hate' comment. (also can't believe I defending him)

All I'm saying is that in 7 or 8 years a banal suburban kid amasses a small fortune of $110+ million. He's 19, and while I'm sure there are many talented 19 year olds out there who would use their wealth to make a better planet, most would blow it being a total douche in the process.


Let him do his thing and just ignore him.
 
2013-03-30 03:54:28 PM  
Bieber seems like a guy who would be really popular if he were a gay porn star.
 
2013-03-30 04:24:41 PM  

Jekylman: Karne: LectertheChef: wildcardjack: Walker: oukewldave: I wish he would OD, have 24/7 coverage about it for a week, then never hear about him again.

[img.photobucket.com image 379x214]

I'd make a Club 27 joke about how Canadians only get three quarters on the exchange rate but their currency has been at parity for a while now. Looks like our best hope for an early out is he dies in a tragic accident, so someone buy him a motorcycle.

I remember seeing something on a motorcycle blog, with him on a Ducati 848, and the only safety gear he had on was a helmet. Unfortunately he hasn't tried to show off on The Snake yet.

[i.imgur.com image 665x643]

Hey wait a minute. "Total Squid?" Is that an insult? I mean, that was my nickname in junior high. What the hey?...


It's derived from 'squirly kid' so you may have got it for the same reasons, I dunno.
 
2013-03-30 04:50:26 PM  
FTFA: "He seems as fond of Mally as Michael Jackson was of his chimp Bubbles."


I suppose he could do a reverse Michael Jackson and turn black instead of white. He seems to be fond of acting like a Whafrican American. He must be going crazy from being on the hormone therapy they keep him on to stop his voice from changing. The rift between him and Selena Gomez was probably due to the fact the kid is still shooting dry. I say leave him alone with his eccentricities. It's amusing to see him act nuttier than a cage full of squirells. His BSery behavior is going to lead to the Karma Police arresting him anyway since the real 5-0 won't touch him. I can honestly say I don't want him to Lohan, but if he MJs that's amusing enough as is. That isn't me wishing ill on people. That's me turning a blind eye, and subtly encouraging.
 
2013-03-30 05:52:23 PM  

Ennuipoet: I've never given a shiat about Bieber, but I must admit his slow slide in Jacksonesque behavior and his eventual Lohaning Phoenixing are providing me with some small entertainment.


FTFY

/too soon?
 
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