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(Guardian)   Everything you never needed to know about Easter Creme Eggs   (guardian.co.uk) divider line 11
    More: Interesting  
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9550 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Mar 2013 at 2:00 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-30 10:34:10 AM  
4 votes:
In the Philippines, they have Cadbury balut, where a miniature peep is stuffed inside a creme egg.
2013-03-30 04:10:02 AM  
3 votes:
s22.postimg.org

Challenge accepted.

s13.postimg.org
2013-03-30 02:51:50 AM  
3 votes:
"Everything you never needed to know about Easter Creme Eggs"

i... i mean, stuff was all messed up back then. i was angry; i was confused. nothing made sense and it seemed like nothing could ever matter. and you think you never need to know, but i have to tell you - i touched one. i knew i shouldn't but at that point in my life i didn't care about what i should or shouldn't do. i wouldn't have admitted it, but at the time i probably would have welcomed someone shooting me for doing what i shouldn't have done. but they're all the same; you touch them and it just feels good. it feels right. you start rubbing the smooth curves down on their underside and it's so nice, and almost instantly it starts to get wet. not wet, really, so much as gooey. and you rub back and forth and it's like it's just squirting its thick milk-chocolately goo on you, til your fingers are a big sticky mess that smells like heaven. and once it's all wet like that, you suck the sweet stickiness off your finger and start working the egg with your mouth. your tongue starts to slip in and out of the small hole your finger found when it was working back and forth. in no time the sweet, sweet goo is shooting out into your mouth, a creamy sweetness so sublime that it seems like you're lucky to taste such an egg even just once a year. quickly, all to quickly, the sweet egg-juice squirts out into your mouth, flooding you with sensual satisfaction, and you suck that beautiful, tight, hairless chocolate egg until it melts into your face as nothing else ever has. sticky and sweaty, you emerge from the most blissful of encounters,  wash up, and go spend another $0.50 to do it all over again.
2013-03-30 08:34:01 PM  
2 votes:
imgs.xkcd.com
2013-03-30 04:27:35 AM  
2 votes:
I like how the Brits have a record for eating one, while us Americans have a record for eating 50. God damn we're fat.
2013-03-30 08:29:11 AM  
1 votes:

SpdrJay: I make my own creme eggs....


/special secret ingredient


dr.xnlb.com
2013-03-30 08:08:36 AM  
1 votes:

Jon iz teh kewl: 1000 Ways to Dye: Jon iz teh kewl: 1000 Ways to Dye: I like how the Brits have a record for eating one, while us Americans have a record for eating 50. God damn we're fat.

how do you tell he ate it

cause i could put one in my mouth.  and 2 seconds later say that's all i'm finished kind gentlemen

Really? You could fit a whole one in your mouth and still enunciate?

yeah wanna try it with a DICK?


Well, if you could put one in your mouth and 2 seconds later say "that's all I'm finished kind gentleman", either you're really good, he's really bad, or you'll both be disappointed.
2013-03-30 08:01:04 AM  
1 votes:

the801: "Everything you never needed to know about Easter Creme Eggs"

i... i mean, stuff was all messed up back then. i was angry; i was confused. nothing made sense and it seemed like nothing could ever matter. and you think you never need to know, but i have to tell you - i touched one. i knew i shouldn't but at that point in my life... and almost instantly it starts to get wet. not wet, really, so much as gooey. and you rub... lucky to taste such an egg even just once a year. quickly, all to quickly, the sweet egg-juice squirts out into your mouth, flooding you with sensual satisfaction, and you suck that beautiful, tight, hairless* chocolate egg until it melts into your face as nothing else ever has. sticky and...


Interested in your newsletter.

//*hairless.
2013-03-30 07:00:45 AM  
1 votes:
One of my finest hours was finding a 4-pack of these stuck on a shelf in a store somewhere, and they rang up for a penny at checkout.

If there had been a case of them, I'd have bought them all for that price. And probably would've filled the bathtub with them when I got home and just laid in there for the rest of the day.
2013-03-30 02:17:42 AM  
1 votes:
They left out the part about how they are vile.
2013-03-30 02:16:34 AM  
1 votes:

gadian: I like a bit of mystery in the amalgamation of chemicals that I shove down my gullet.  It makes the whole experience rather more sensual depending on what you eat.


Amalgamation Gullet would be a great name for a band.
 
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