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(Abc.net.au)   North Korea enters state of war with the South   (abc.net.au) divider line 80
    More: Followup, North Korea, South Korea, Korean War  
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20877 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Mar 2013 at 8:25 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-03-29 08:28:57 PM
12 votes:
gp1.pinkbike.org
2013-03-29 09:06:14 PM
11 votes:
Hey Limp Dick, you do not have the farking balls to attack South Korea and the American troops stationed there. You are just a scared little boy. So go ahead and posture all you want, because the rest of the world laughs at your idiotic, pathetic displays. And, more importantly, they laugh at you. In fact, here is a picture I made a while back, one where I am completely mocking you!

img.photobucket.com
2013-03-29 09:48:05 PM
9 votes:
i172.photobucket.com
2013-03-29 08:26:55 PM
9 votes:
So this means a M*A*S*H* reboot?
2013-03-29 08:45:00 PM
6 votes:
img221.imageshack.us
2013-03-29 08:34:45 PM
6 votes:
Yet another war of Northern aggression.
2013-03-29 08:52:36 PM
5 votes:
media.screened.com
Why yes, I live in Austin. Why do you ask?
2013-03-29 08:40:12 PM
5 votes:

GAT_00: I'm starting to think they might mean it this time.


bestoftheblogs.com
Naaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
2013-03-29 08:42:17 PM
4 votes:

Kanemano: Mrtraveler01: Oldiron_79: Well they listed Austin, TX in thier top 5 targets, so apparantly lil Kim hates hipsters.

Is there a citation/list for this? I would love to see what his other "targets" are.

The usual east coast cities, plus that damn Austin.
[i.telegraph.co.uk image 625x389]


They must know that once they take out Austin the US will have no reason to allow Texas to stay in the union any more.
2013-03-29 08:41:13 PM
4 votes:
Does this mean that Ann Margret's not coming?
2013-03-30 12:35:10 PM
3 votes:

bunner: Let's try a photo essay.

Lemme ax ya dis.

Would you let any of these douchesockets babysit your children?

[www.mindcorestudios.com image 200x240]

[www.biography.com image 402x402]

[www.pbs.org image 275x354]

[media.npr.org image 850x738]

[www.historytoday.com image 300x300]

[www.theunrealtimes.com image 480x360]

Then maybe you shouldn't follow them over huge cliffs.


GW bush watch my kids?  Hell yea, when he starts reading a book to kids he's farking dedicated!
2013-03-29 09:07:21 PM
3 votes:

SBinRR: Does this mean that Ann Margret's not coming?


She's not even breathing heavy.
2013-03-29 08:47:08 PM
3 votes:
i.imgur.com
2013-03-29 08:39:57 PM
3 votes:
www.abc.net.au
Are the generals' hats trying to escape?
2013-03-29 08:31:51 PM
3 votes:
Is not surprised
media.tumblr.com
2013-03-29 08:29:52 PM
3 votes:
Look, you can't lay all that on my shoulders. Don't you know how much this place stinks? Don't you know what it's like to stand day after day in blood? In the blood of children? I hate this place. And if I can't stand up to it to your satisfaction, then --- then the hell with it. How dare you? The hell with your Iowa naivete, and the hell with your hero worship and your teddy bear, and while you're at it, the hell with you. Why don't you grow up for crying out loud? I'm not here for you to admire. I'm here to pull bodies out of a sausage grinder -- if possible, without going crazy. Period.
2013-03-30 04:58:53 PM
2 votes:

Jon iz teh kewl: child porn


Does this look like Google to you?
2013-03-30 07:50:12 AM
2 votes:
25.media.tumblr.com
2013-03-30 04:19:28 AM
2 votes:
oi46.tinypic.com
2013-03-29 11:37:21 PM
2 votes:
media.animevice.com
2013-03-29 11:35:59 PM
2 votes:
What if he picked those three US cities based upon specific people on Fark whom he hated?
2013-03-29 11:24:59 PM
2 votes:

Mock26: Hey Limp Dick, you do not have the farking balls to attack South Korea and the American troops stationed there. You are just a scared little boy. So go ahead and posture all you want, because the rest of the world laughs at your idiotic, pathetic displays. And, more importantly, they laugh at you. In fact, here is a picture I made a while back, one where I am completely mocking you!


Im startitng to wounder if mabey just mabey that chubby little twat reads fark. I mean he sure seems pissed off.
Is it possible were the ones behind it all?
2013-03-29 11:18:10 PM
2 votes:
Yeah, this is bullshiat.

Lil'Kim:  This is it!  I gonna do it!
Nobody:  Well, go ahead.
Lil'Kim:  I mean it!
Nobody: Okay.
Lil'Kim:  I've had all I'm gonna take now!
Nobody: Look, we just flew a B2 bomber up your front door, go for it.
Lil'Kim:  That's it, it is soooo on !!!
Nobody: Well?
Lil'Kim:  OMG it's ON NOW,,!!

whatculture.com
"If you have to shoot, shoot.  Don't talk."
2013-03-29 10:21:27 PM
2 votes:

Deep Contact: Wonder what this diversion is for?

New boogy man needed.
Seal team 6 members keep dieing.
Economic meltdown coming soon.
Increased defense spending.
Distraction from expensive vacations of president and vice president.
Billions of rounds for Homeland Security. Enough to kill us 5 times.


farm3.staticflickr.com
2013-03-29 09:55:35 PM
2 votes:
I couldn't help but laugh at this image on North Korea's Flickr.

farm9.staticflickr.com
2013-03-29 09:24:01 PM
2 votes:

AeAe: Let's do this!!


LEEEEEROOOOOOOOOY JENNNNNNNNKINSSS!
/oblig
2013-03-29 09:23:17 PM
2 votes:

Gsm136: Look, you can't lay all that on my shoulders. Don't you know how much this place stinks? Don't you know what it's like to stand day after day in blood? In the blood of children? I hate this place. And if I can't stand up to it to your satisfaction, then --- then the hell with it. How dare you? The hell with your Iowa naivete, and the hell with your hero worship and your teddy bear, and while you're at it, the hell with you. Why don't you grow up for crying out loud? I'm not here for you to admire. I'm here to pull bodies out of a sausage grinder -- if possible, without going crazy. Period.


i272.photobucket.com

Leave Radar alone!
2013-03-29 09:15:15 PM
2 votes:
i.imgur.com
2013-03-29 09:04:23 PM
2 votes:
If my uniform included wearing a frikkin rice bowl on my head, I'd be ready to kick someone's ass, too
2013-03-29 08:35:18 PM
2 votes:
Couldn't South Korea just have Samsung build 100 million robot spiders that crawl all over North Korea, systematically dismantling their weapons?
2013-03-29 08:34:34 PM
2 votes:
Well they listed Austin, TX in thier top 5 targets, so apparantly lil Kim hates hipsters.
2013-03-29 08:30:07 PM
2 votes:
China's bastard child.  How about we tell them to fix it or we'll default on our debt to them.  Achieve peace, reduce the debt in one fell swoop.
2013-03-29 08:28:51 PM
2 votes:
Well then the South will rise again.
2013-03-29 08:28:22 PM
2 votes:
Oh boy-oh-boy. I can't wait for the Russia-China-USA dick waving contest on seeing who wants to "keep the peace" more and betterer.
2013-03-30 09:58:40 PM
1 votes:
s11.postimg.org
2013-03-30 06:01:10 AM
1 votes:

MelGoesOnTour: My guess is that NK will release a statement saying something to the effect of "The US and South Korea have ceased their hostilities due to our mightiness" and then go back to being weirdo's as usual.

It's scary to think that the populace an ENTIRE FARKING COUNTRY can be brainwashed into believing shiat like that.


i77.photobucket.com
2013-03-30 01:44:42 AM
1 votes:

TexasPeace: Austin?    They want to bomb Austin?


Vince McMahon is behind it all!
2013-03-30 12:10:00 AM
1 votes:
To understand what's happening now, you have to look at the history of the place. Most people here seem to pass bad information around, sadly.
The 13th century is described as North Korea's Golden Age, with peace and increase in trade, especially with the British Islands, although Germany became increasingly important towards the end of the century.

Throughout the High Middle Ages the king established North Korea as a state with a central administration with local representatives. In 1349 the Black Death spread to North Korea and had within a year killed a third of the population. Later plagues reduced the population to half the starting point by 1400. Many communities were entire wiped out, resulting in an abundance of land, allowing farmers to switch to more animal husbandry. The reduction in taxes weakened the king's position, and many aristocrats lost the basis for their surplus, reducing some to mere farmers. High tithes to church made it increasingly powerful and the archbishop became a member of the Council of State.

The Ranseatic League took control over North Korean trade during the 14th century and established a trading center in Seoul (then known as "Republic Of Seoul" or R-Seoul in the literal translation). In 1380 King Ving inherited both the North Korean and South Korean thrones, creating a union between the two countries which lasted all the way up until the 2nd major rectification, or the third season. In 1397, under Rarget I, the Rakim Union was created between the three countries and Eric B IV. She waged war against the people of Istabbul, due to a tragic misunderstanding of a smudged letter, resulting in a trade blockade and higher taxation on North Korean's (and by this time, North Korea was known as "New Oldland", which resulted in a rebellion. However, the North Korean Council of State was too weak to pull out of the union at that time, or at least that is what it claimed shortly afterwards.
 
All this lead to increased and sustained tensions between New Oldland, Turkey, South Korea (then known as "New OldNewLand") and for some reason, Iceland. The situation we see today is a direct result of choices made R-Seoul, which was then known as the capital of New OldNewLand and called "ErianBnoVille" (direct translation of the original New OldNewLandian word).
2013-03-29 11:54:36 PM
1 votes:

Greywar: Also, they're on to me, and are sending north Korean assassins to my home in Hillsboro, OR.

Odd...just as I typed that someone knocked....I will let the least favorite step son get that.....


Willie: Why do I have to do all the dirty jobs?

Inspector Wang: Because your mother not here to do it.
2013-03-29 11:37:32 PM
1 votes:
I'm sure he has a Fark account and is getting a kick out of these replBOOOOOMMMMM!!!!
2013-03-29 11:33:12 PM
1 votes:
i.imgur.com
2013-03-29 11:26:54 PM
1 votes:

teenage mutant ninja rapist: Mock26: Hey Limp Dick, you do not have the farking balls to attack South Korea and the American troops stationed there. You are just a scared little boy. So go ahead and posture all you want, because the rest of the world laughs at your idiotic, pathetic displays. And, more importantly, they laugh at you. In fact, here is a picture I made a while back, one where I am completely mocking you!

Im startitng to wounder if mabey just mabey that chubby little twat reads fark. I mean he sure seems pissed off.
Is it possible were the ones behind it all?


Only one way to find out...

TIME STAMP WITH SHOE ON HEAD, FATTY
2013-03-29 10:57:21 PM
1 votes:

Greywar: sorry 4-6 Kt. although I could argue largest yield they have achieved of 6-40 kt, but even so...thats not really big.  not when detonated very far from the coast.  maybe launch some nerve gas weapons instead.  probably freak us out more.

The Mig comment though...NO Mig-15s are listed in their military at the moment.  150+ Mig-21's, 56 Mig-23's, and 35 Mig-29's.  Not a ton of migs...and the Mig-21's are comparable to a F-4, the thing is...if theyre in the air, and the target planes are on the ground, they still win even against F-22's.  And thats the nature of the all out assault.  its the ONLY chance they have.  Cause once the South gets anything in the air they will dominate it with what we consider old equipment like the f-15 and f-16.  And once we join in nothing North Korean will fly for long.

Total all out assault in a surprise attack is the only time North korea will control the air.


He's kind of farking up the whole "surprise" part.
2013-03-29 10:47:45 PM
1 votes:

Deep Contact: safetycap: Lt. Cheese Weasel: Deep Contact: Wonder what this diversion is for?

New boogy man needed.
Seal team 6 members keep dieing.
Economic meltdown coming soon.
Increased defense spending.
Distraction from expensive vacations of president and vice president.
Billions of rounds for Homeland Security. Enough to kill us 5 times.

Do you like, inject the kool aid or smoke it?

It has got to be via an enema. That is the only way the oil could be hitting the anus that quickly.


[i651.photobucket.com image 631x355]


The South Korean government believes that North Korea may have as much as $6 trillion USD in rare earth elements.
Make it look good.


Right, got you down for injection.
2013-03-29 10:44:37 PM
1 votes:
Korean War II: Erectlic Boogaroo
2013-03-29 10:30:07 PM
1 votes:
4/1/2013 3 am PST.

Simultaneously 3 North Korean Sang-O submarines come to the surface, originally 6 were sent, and refueled at several points along the way by disguised refueling ships.... 4 arrived at their destinations.... trinity bay in Houston, Hudson River in New York, and off Seal beach in California.  They detonate with a average nuclear explosion strength of 4 megatons (NK nuclear test in 2009 as estimated at 2-6 megatons).  North Korea claims 3 more submarines remain, and threatens to detonate them along the united states coastlines, and announcing that 3 are in the European area.  In reality, one remains.  Total life lost is in the millions, and damage is in the hundreds of billions. 

the remaining 34 in the class, several upgraded to the Sang-O II class, begin operations against united states naval vessels.  The 10 Yono class submarines are used to bring infiltrators and special ops military into South Korea.

5,000 tanks, thousands of APC's, 7,500 mortars, and 8,000+ artillery begins attacking South Korea, backed up by the 1,106,000 active duty personel.  8,200,000 reservist are called up (the largest military reserve in the world), promised South Korean land and wealth if they are victorious. 

250 Mig series aircraft, 80 Harbin H-5 bombers, and another 100 strike aircraft assault south Korea airfields, and military centers. 

Using nuclear weapons, nerve gas, and chemical weapons as force multipliers, its a total all out war the likes of which the planet has never seen before.

knowing the only hope of victory lies in all out fast warfare, following the Germany blitzkrieg tactics, Everything is thrown into a assault.  Mixing North Korean military targets in with South Korean forces and civilians before the United states uses nuclear weapons on their military centers. While incredibly effective the South Korean country is overwhelmed with numbers, asymmetric warfare, and the usage of weapons that are viewed by the world with horror.

Least...thats how I would do it if I was a crazy dictator who thought my only hope to survive was to go to war.  Probably end up dead, but hey-no one would ever forget my name.
2013-03-29 10:26:14 PM
1 votes:

Lt. Cheese Weasel: Deep Contact: Wonder what this diversion is for?

New boogy man needed.
Seal team 6 members keep dieing.
Economic meltdown coming soon.
Increased defense spending.
Distraction from expensive vacations of president and vice president.
Billions of rounds for Homeland Security. Enough to kill us 5 times.

Do you like, inject the kool aid or smoke it?


It has got to be via an enema. That is the only way the oil could be hitting the anus that quickly.


i651.photobucket.com
2013-03-29 10:18:26 PM
1 votes:
I'm sure this is all a misunderstanding! Un didn't mean to change his status on Facebook
2013-03-29 10:03:50 PM
1 votes:
I won't believe it until they announce it on Twitter.
2013-03-29 10:01:03 PM
1 votes:

Mrtraveler01: Surprised it's not Houston though.


He heard they had Rice there....
2013-03-29 09:51:10 PM
1 votes:

A Terrible Human: Jon iz teh kewl: i think the Koreas should take over and make our work week 6 days instead of 5.  then make it one more every year
till 2059 when they bomb the world
and we all die of radiation poisoning!

democracy!!

Captain Tuttle agrees


I just had lunch with him the other day.
2013-03-29 09:43:52 PM
1 votes:

FinFangFark: I know it has no relevance to the conversation, but all this N. Korea jibber jabber suddenly has me hungry for some good Pho.

Whatsupwiththat?


That is odd since Pho isn't even a Korean dish.
2013-03-29 09:27:13 PM
1 votes:

Ima10urin8: The fat boy is shooting asimuth angles for his cannonball artillery to hit drones


So, I'm doing what?
2013-03-29 09:22:30 PM
1 votes:

Rhino_man: Bisu: Kanemano: Mrtraveler01: Oldiron_79: Well they listed Austin, TX in thier top 5 targets, so apparantly lil Kim hates hipsters.

Is there a citation/list for this? I would love to see what his other "targets" are.

The usual east coast cities, plus that damn Austin.
[i.telegraph.co.uk image 625x389]

Ok for the second time in two threads, that arrow probably doesn't end in Austin. You CANNOT SEE the end of it because the guy's HAT IS IN THE WAY.  All the other arrows end in an arrow head. That one has the arrow head blocked, so it must be somewhere BEYOND MID TEXAS.

/hopefully CAPS and bold will help this time.
//and yes, they aren't actual trajectories, just arrows from NK to US cities

Looks like Miami, maybe?


Holy shiat.  He's going to nuke Disney World......at the start of spring.  It could only be more epic level of trolling if he nuked it on Gay Day.  This country would tear itself apart in the ensuing flamewar.

Nah, im still holding out for him nuking Austin.  Were all gonna get super powers, gonna live it up like a Gamma World RPG, its gonna be awesome.
2013-03-29 09:19:11 PM
1 votes:

orclover: TexasPeace: Austin?    They want to bomb Austin?

Yea were all kinda scratching our heads at that statement here in Central Texas.  But yea, well whatever.  Guess the norks are going to nuke us.  Maybe afterword i'll finally be able to find a parking space down town.


Well you'd have a good hour before an ICBM launched from NK would get there. 2 hours if they take the direct path as shown on the map.
2013-03-29 09:19:02 PM
1 votes:
The missiles will be put on rafts and floated towards Japan. North Korea will destroy all American-sympathizers in a matter of 3 months, as long as the weather is good and the tide predictions are accurate.
2013-03-29 09:14:19 PM
1 votes:
I think it would be hilarious for someone in the UN to say to the NK ambassor to "be quiet while the adults are talking."  Someone needs to make it clear that we consider them to be a noisy and unruly child who needs a spanking and a time out.
2013-03-29 09:10:09 PM
1 votes:
i think the Koreas should take over and make our work week 6 days instead of 5.  then make it one more every year
till 2059 when they bomb the world
and we all die of radiation poisoning!

democracy!!
2013-03-29 09:09:31 PM
1 votes:
Inter-Korean issue?

I think I have that Hustler.
2013-03-29 09:09:18 PM
1 votes:
War were declared?
2013-03-29 09:04:58 PM
1 votes:
Does this mean we'll get a new M*A*S*H series?
2013-03-29 08:58:48 PM
1 votes:

RobertBruce: Are the stories about their huge conventional arsenal of artillery aimed south even partially true?


Well, let's look at the choices here.  Either they are master magicians, and world hide and seek champions,,,or

blogs.scientificamerican.com
2013-03-29 08:58:42 PM
1 votes:
Well it looks like there may be a war that wasn't clearly manufactured by (our) politicians.

fc07.deviantart.net
And it will cost a shiat-ton of money.
2013-03-29 08:58:19 PM
1 votes:

doyner: Civil_War2_Time: doyner: Silverstaff: doyner: So where are all the war-eager Neocons in all of this?

Oh, right.  Israel couldn't care less so neither could they.

Well, that and the fact there isn't a whole lot of oil in the Korean peninsula.

Oil is just a side effect--the Neocons care ONLY about waging Israel's wars for them.  And yes, I have studied it out.

Have you really studied it out?

Neocons hate liberals, and almost every Jew in DC is a very liberal Democrat. So, what you're saying is that they are actually on the same team?

Mind. Blown.

Wat?  You do realize they have a political spectrum in Israel too, right?  And that Bibi is far-right?  And that the PNAC was all Zionists?  Right?


Do you work for UPS? You said "right" three times, which means "left."
2013-03-29 08:57:19 PM
1 votes:
Is this a repeat from 1950?
2013-03-29 08:49:06 PM
1 votes:
I used to live in Korea. North Korea does this on at least a quarterly basis; far more often if they feel sad and want extra attention. Their declarations of imminent war are treated just one step less seriously than crazy drunken hoboes' declarations of war.

I think everyone in Korea believes that it could happen... and most of them probably believe that the head crazy drunken hobo probably WILL pull the trigger someday... but he has been hysterically threatening to commit suicide by warfare every week for 60 years.

Nobody there even hears it anymore- it's just background noise.

The only new thing happening is that NewKim's press corps is actively seeking a new audience for their noise, with some success.
2013-03-29 08:43:18 PM
1 votes:
SO, how long do you think the war would actually last?  A few minutes?
2013-03-29 08:42:57 PM
1 votes:
So does this mean NK has deployable nuclear devices larger than the yields we detected them testing?

Austin is close enough to our wide open southern border that maybe one could have been snuck in and is just sitting there waiting......

Nothing good has come out of Austin since EA took Origin Systems out back and shot it.
2013-03-29 08:42:57 PM
1 votes:

TexasPeace: Austin?    They want to bomb Austin?


Yea were all kinda scratching our heads at that statement here in Central Texas.  But yea, well whatever.  Guess the norks are going to nuke us.  Maybe afterword i'll finally be able to find a parking space down town.
2013-03-29 08:40:42 PM
1 votes:

Mrtraveler01: Oldiron_79: Well they listed Austin, TX in thier top 5 targets, so apparantly lil Kim hates hipsters.

Is there a citation/list for this? I would love to see what his other "targets" are.


The usual east coast cities, plus that damn Austin.
i.telegraph.co.uk
2013-03-29 08:34:02 PM
1 votes:

redly1: Ima10urin8: someone give Un a shot of cancer please

better yet, do what Dre and Suge Knight did to Eazy-E


Give NK African Aids?
2013-03-29 08:32:26 PM
1 votes:

doyner: So where are all the war-eager Neocons in all of this?

Oh, right.  Israel couldn't care less so neither could they.


Basically.
2013-03-29 08:32:12 PM
1 votes:
Austin?    They want to bomb Austin?
2013-03-29 08:31:45 PM
1 votes:
Who seriously thinks Fatty Fatty Ding-Dong is really in charge.
2013-03-29 08:31:27 PM
1 votes:
So where are all the war-eager Neocons in all of this?

Oh, right.  Israel couldn't care less so neither could they.
2013-03-29 08:30:03 PM
1 votes:
The shiat has hit the fan.
2013-03-29 08:29:59 PM
1 votes:
"As of now, inter-Korea relations enter a state of war and all matters between the two Koreas will be handled according to wartime protocol," the statement said.

I would like to announce to the world that every human being on the planet owes me a $1 and I will now be handling all other humans according to the fact that they owe me $1.


Just because I say everybody owes me a dollar doesn't mean a damn thing has changed.  I love how some people are shiatting themselves over this and all NK has done is talk smack.
2013-03-29 08:28:53 PM
1 votes:
Subby.... you put my pants in a state of war.

Troof.
2013-03-29 08:26:10 PM
1 votes:
Can Nick Saban be their first target?
2013-03-29 08:14:49 PM
1 votes:
someone give Un a shot of cancer please
 
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