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(Opposing Views)   Yo mama is so fat the Orange County Fire and Rescue Department had to spend thousands of dollars on new ambulances that would be capable of transporting her   (opposingviews.com) divider line 73
    More: Interesting, fire and rescue, florida, ambulances, fat  
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4751 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Mar 2013 at 6:49 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-29 04:48:50 PM
Happened in Memphis a few years back when they took one of their reserve units, and modified it in-house as a bariatric ambulance. For most of their hyper-morbidly obese, they just take the stretcher mounts off the floor of the ambulance, and use a salvage tarp to load them in, but you can't secure them, and laying these people flat is generally not an easy thing to do. They put in a 1200lb capacity Striker stretcher, winch to load people, and even a ramp system so you don't have to manipulate the stretcher beyond getting it lined up. What they didn't realize is that all of that weight was spread across about an inch and a half area per wheel, and the first half-tonner they used it on, the stretcher went through the floor.

They have it back in service now, but you basically have to take two pumper companies out of service to staff it since it's kept with the reserves. Still, we've got at least 15 people >500lbs in the area, so it's nice to have it if we need mutual aid.
 
2013-03-29 04:55:51 PM
Convert a horse trailer to an improv ambulance.

/Only half kidding
 
2013-03-29 05:00:51 PM

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Convert a horse trailer to an improv ambulance.

/Only half kidding


Technically, you can't do that. While the states each have their own individual laws, they all tend to follow either the NFPA 1917 Standard, or the Federal KKK-A-1822 standards depending on what year they're manufactured. To operate a vehicle as an ambulance in the United States, they either have to be inspected and certified by that state to follow the standards they have established, or have a per patient, per use exemption which involves contacting the state EMS office for a written exception EACH TIME you do it.

As an example, I can't just take a Semi-Trailer and put a stretcher in it.

In the example above, of taking the hardware out and putting a free-standing patient in the floor of the unit, were something to happen during the transport - like a wreck - and the patient was hurt or died, the ambulance company and the crew are both negligently involved in that injury. Not only are there civil repercussions, but they could face criminal and professional sanctions as well. But, also, it was the only way of doing things for years before the bari-unit was implemented.
 
2013-03-29 05:11:37 PM

hardinparamedic: Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Convert a horse trailer to an improv ambulance.

/Only half kidding

Technically, you can't do that. While the states each have their own individual laws, they all tend to follow either the NFPA 1917 Standard, or the Federal KKK-A-1822 standards depending on what year they're manufactured. To operate a vehicle as an ambulance in the United States, they either have to be inspected and certified by that state to follow the standards they have established, or have a per patient, per use exemption which involves contacting the state EMS office for a written exception EACH TIME you do it.

As an example, I can't just take a Semi-Trailer and put a stretcher in it.

In the example above, of taking the hardware out and putting a free-standing patient in the floor of the unit, were something to happen during the transport - like a wreck - and the patient was hurt or died, the ambulance company and the crew are both negligently involved in that injury. Not only are there civil repercussions, but they could face criminal and professional sanctions as well. But, also, it was the only way of doing things for years before the bari-unit was implemented.


Wow. Chalk that up for something else I didn't know but am glad I learned.

I simply figured that a structure designed to transport 900-1200 pound creatures would be the easiest solution, from a weight distribution standpoint (And fatties love oats and a snout nuzzle).

Kudos for the information.
 
2013-03-29 05:28:31 PM

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Wow. Chalk that up for something else I didn't know but am glad I learned.

I simply figured that a structure designed to transport 900-1200 pound creatures would be the easiest solution, from a weight distribution standpoint (And fatties love oats and a snout nuzzle).

Kudos for the information.


Not a problem. You just have to remember that we live in a litigious society, and that people sue for EVERYTHING now. Most medical malpractice suits do not happen because of ignorance, failure to act, or negligent practice, but rather because the provider was rude to the patient, or their family, or there was some legal loophole.

There's a historical reason for this, though. Back in the 1960s and 1970s, before the federal KKK-A-1822 standards were established by the DOT, ambulances were largely unregulated. Some companies manufactured vans, some manufactured hearse-ambulances, and some manufactured station wagons with stretchers and oxygen tanks. There was no consideration made to patient care and crew safety. In those days, it was actually something to advertise CB or Radio Equipped, and Oxygen on board. You were cutting edge if you had someone with basic Red Cross first aid training. (Before 1968, there WAS no such thing as an EMT or Paramedic in 99% of the country) In larger cities, you MIGHT have someone with the local fire department trained as a Mobile Intensive Care Technician, or someone on the ambulance who had a nursing license or was a resident for the local hospital. In a rural area, you might get the same hearse that took your Grandpa to the cemetary from the local funeral home, with a stretcher inside instead of a coffin - and no care. You basically got loaded in and they ran fast to the local hospital.

Scary to say, but most of the deaths that happened in those days would have been preventable during transport by someone with basic care knowledge. Ironically, the first "First Responder" classes were not for the local fire departments or ambulance providers, but for Law Enforcement.
 
2013-03-29 05:58:54 PM
America sounds fat.
 
2013-03-29 06:16:52 PM
Luckily, your mom's so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar

/wait...that's the same.
 
2013-03-29 06:29:24 PM

hardinparamedic: There's a historical reason for this, though. Back in the 1960s and 1970s, before the federal KKK-A-1822 standards were established by the DOT, ambulances were largely unregulated.


So what you are saying is "Mother Jugs and Speed" had some basis in reality.
 
2013-03-29 06:52:44 PM
FTFA "In the past, you'd have to get five, six, seven firefighters to physically lift the patient in. It increases the chance that something could happen to the patient"

Dude, when it takes seven, SEVEN, firefighters to lift your fat ass, you deserve whatever happens. Why would you risk injury to seven trained men so you can stuff you pie-hole for two more months at the hospital.

Sorry fatty, that's the sign your time is up.
 
2013-03-29 06:53:03 PM
Yo mama's so fat, she fell in love and broke it.
 
2013-03-29 06:54:31 PM
"Might I add, no fat chicks!"
 
2013-03-29 06:55:02 PM
They should put them in a trailer instead, like they did with that fat biatch who never left the couch and "became one" with it.
 
2013-03-29 06:57:36 PM
I'm not sure society has an obligation to help people that have so obviously tried their best to kill themselves by eating.
 
2013-03-29 06:59:00 PM

King Something: America sounds fat.


Jebus, we do. What the Fark?
 
2013-03-29 06:59:39 PM

sgnilward: FTFA "In the past, you'd have to get five, six, seven firefighters to physically lift the patient in. It increases the chance that something could happen to the patient"

Dude, when it takes seven, SEVEN, firefighters to lift your fat ass, you deserve whatever happens. Why would you risk injury to seven trained men so you can stuff you pie-hole for two more months at the hospital.

Sorry fatty, that's the sign your time is up.


Superjew: I'm not sure society has an obligation to help people that have so obviously tried their best to kill themselves by eating.


If lawyers did not exist those responses would be acceptable.
 
2013-03-29 07:01:50 PM

Rustblade: They should put them in a trailer instead, like they did with that fat biatch who never left the couch and "became one" with it.


You mean this lady?
 
2013-03-29 07:04:10 PM
How will they know when to roll out the fat ambulance? Are the 911 operators going to ask how much the patient weighs?
 
2013-03-29 07:04:23 PM
Not too long ago I was dropping off a patient in my ambulance when a bariatric truck pulled in next to me with an 800+ lb patient.   Ramps, winches, and a special stretcher.   Technically interesting but socially embarrassing.
 
2013-03-29 07:04:27 PM
C'mon, people...the headline DEMANDS "yo mama" jokes.

So make with the jokes, already.
 
2013-03-29 07:06:00 PM
There comes a time when handing someone a chocolate covered grenade and walking away with the pin should be acceptable.
/too much?
 
2013-03-29 07:06:54 PM
hardinparamedic:

For most of their hyper-morbidly obese...

1.) they use a salvage tarp to load them in...

2.) They put in a 1200lb capacity Striker stretcher, winch to load [them]...

3.) the first half-tonner they used it on, the stretcher went through the floor...


How to spot when you've hit rock-bottom.
 
2013-03-29 07:09:27 PM
Why don't they use those lifter thingys that they use to transport dolphins and such?

/ I keed, i know it's not legal
 
2013-03-29 07:09:51 PM
It also comes with a wheelie bar in case the front wheels come off the ground.
 
2013-03-29 07:10:00 PM

skinink: Rustblade: They should put them in a trailer instead, like they did with that fat biatch who never left the couch and "became one" with it.

You mean this lady?


That is one hell of a disgusting situation.
 
2013-03-29 07:10:35 PM

eraser8: C'mon, people...the headline DEMANDS "yo mama" jokes.

So make with the jokes, already.


Yo mama's so fat, she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
 
2013-03-29 07:10:39 PM
Unavailable for comment
derricklferguson.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-03-29 07:11:25 PM

Tom_Slick: hardinparamedic: There's a historical reason for this, though. Back in the 1960s and 1970s, before the federal KKK-A-1822 standards were established by the DOT, ambulances were largely unregulated.

So what you are saying is "Mother Jugs and Speed" had some basis in reality.


That was a great movie.
 
2013-03-29 07:15:00 PM
When you're so farking fat that firemen can't lift you easily, step away from the food.

Goddam. There's pleasingly plump, then there's Jabba the Hutt.
 
2013-03-29 07:16:09 PM

hardinparamedic: Happened in Memphis a few years back when they took one of their reserve units, and modified it in-house as a bariatric ambulance. For most of their hyper-morbidly obese, they just take the stretcher mounts off the floor of the ambulance, and use a salvage tarp to load them in, but you can't secure them, and laying these people flat is generally not an easy thing to do. They put in a 1200lb capacity Striker stretcher, winch to load people, and even a ramp system so you don't have to manipulate the stretcher beyond getting it lined up. What they didn't realize is that all of that weight was spread across about an inch and a half area per wheel, and the first half-tonner they used it on, the stretcher went through the floor.

They have it back in service now, but you basically have to take two pumper companies out of service to staff it since it's kept with the reserves. Still, we've got at least 15 people >500lbs in the area, so it's nice to have it if we need mutual aid.


Over 500 lbs.? That's appalling.
 
2013-03-29 07:16:51 PM
Yo mamma so fat not even Dora can explore her..
Yo mamma so fat I took a picture of her last Christmas and its still printing...
 
2013-03-29 07:18:34 PM
One of these should fix it.
 
2013-03-29 07:19:35 PM

fusillade762: How will they know when to roll out the fat ambulance? Are the 911 operators going to ask how much the patient weighs?


That's a good question. Maybe they have a secret code. The dispatcher says "Moo" or uses the medical code for morbidly obese (there's gotta be one) or something like that so in case a sensitive civilian overhears somehow, they won't shiat a brick of outrage over hearing a gigantic person referred to as morbidly obese.
 
2013-03-29 07:20:43 PM
I'm impressed.  It's hard to do all the bariatric positions when you're obese.
 
2013-03-29 07:20:47 PM

Dumski: skinink: Rustblade: They should put them in a trailer instead, like they did with that fat biatch who never left the couch and "became one" with it.

You mean this lady?

That is one hell of a disgusting situation.


Sure is. But once a person can't get up to get their own food I think we need to consider placing some blame on the enabler. She was fed to death.
 
2013-03-29 07:21:42 PM
The cost of the extra wide stretchers, wheel chairs, beds, etc. is small compared to the expenses incurred by society when caregivers (who themselves are often fat and out of shape) blow their backs out trying to move these land whales and are forced into early retirement and/or onto disability.
 
2013-03-29 07:31:10 PM
Fatty crane.
s16.postimg.org
 
2013-03-29 07:31:49 PM

LiberalEastCoastElitist: The cost of the extra wide stretchers, wheel chairs, beds, etc. is small compared to the expenses incurred by society when caregivers (who themselves are often fat and out of shape) blow their backs out trying to move these land whales and are forced into early retirement and/or onto disability.


Damn, they really need to get that magic pill that will actually make you shed the pounds the way all those fake ones that are advertised everywhere promise. Telling people to eat less and exercise more is clearly a lost cause and just having no effect whatsoever, so give up on that and look for an alternative solution.
 
2013-03-29 07:32:53 PM
www.pajiba.com
 
2013-03-29 07:36:59 PM
Yo momma so fat that that she moves satellites out of orbit.
Yo momma so fat that NASA sent out satellites to check her out for new forms of life.
Yo momma so fat that her immense tonnage blocks the rain necessary to feed Africa.
 
2013-03-29 07:40:16 PM
And republicans are against socialized medicine with its ambulance care that will knock down the wall to get in their house and then have 10 sweating firefighters carry you out to the flatdeck ambulance and then give you tax payer funded emergency room/hospital care until you need non-boiled food to fix your addiction.

[american_eagle_tear.jpeg]
 
2013-03-29 07:53:53 PM
Man, if it's farking illegal to use heroin, it should be illegal to let yourself weigh more than 500 pounds. I'm not a skinny guy, either. Technically I'm overweight but the outrageous costs that the morbidly obese and hyper-obese put on society is scary.

You know our society has begun its final descent when people are so goddamned fat that all they can do is sit at home and get disability checks for being goddamned fat. And when the First Lady tries to help our nation's little pork chops by promoting exercise, all she gets is attacks and derision.

This country is a crap hole.
 
2013-03-29 07:58:19 PM
images1.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-03-29 07:58:47 PM
Would be more impressive if the patient didn't have to get out and push.
img833.imageshack.us
 
2013-03-29 08:01:40 PM

DeadBaby: Man, if it's farking illegal to use heroin, it should be illegal to let yourself weigh more than 500 pounds. I'm not a skinny guy, either. Technically I'm overweight but the outrageous costs that the morbidly obese and hyper-obese put on society is scary.


I'm curious as to how you'd work that one, since while you theoretically can ban heroin (it's never seemed to work all that effectively) you can't ban food.
 
2013-03-29 08:04:22 PM
cdn.gajitz.com

"Have you considered... transparent aluminum?"

/it works for whales
 
2013-03-29 08:06:26 PM
orange county, FL?
 
2013-03-29 08:09:37 PM

Day_Old_Dutchie: Fatty crane.
[s16.postimg.org image 625x600]


$10K or so for that?


Or $300-400 for this:

www.menintools.com


I could do a 40% markup, undercut the HELL out of the med supply biz and still retire early. Fatties = a new and exciting lifestyle
 
2013-03-29 08:13:16 PM

skinink: Rustblade: They should put them in a trailer instead, like they did with that fat biatch who never left the couch and "became one" with it.

You mean this lady?


OMG, I need some eye/mind bleach STAT!
 
2013-03-29 08:20:13 PM
Yo momma so fat, her blood type is Ragu
 
2013-03-29 08:38:10 PM
Guns need to remain legal so that when the day comes that I require an engine hoist to extricate myself from bed, I can blow my brains out.

/ OK, technically only elephant guns would need to remain legal
 
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