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(wtnh.com)   Seriously, God, what do you have against Newtown?   (wtnh.com) divider line 31
    More: Sad, A Newtown, Sandy Hook Elementary School  
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24697 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Mar 2013 at 4:15 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-03-29 04:52:19 PM
11 votes:
Look, this is obviously part of a massive coverup.  Look at these two trees, one at the fire and one at the "alleged" school: THEY ARE EXACTLY THE SAME TREES!!!!  HOW CAN THE SAME TREE BE IN TWO DIFFERENT PLACES!!!!!  Obviously this is part of an Immuninati coverup to force all christian children to be late term aborted, raised in FEMA death camps, and then turned against us so they can force our guns to gay marry each other.

Thanks OBAMA!!

hostpicture.eu
2013-03-29 04:21:34 PM
7 votes:

GopherGuts: Ok, time to ban fire.


Only assault fires, which can be identified by having more than seven cords of wood.

/does know how much a cord of wood is
//if a woodchuck could chuck a cord of wood
///woodchuck teeth
2013-03-29 04:18:58 PM
7 votes:
Ok, time to ban fire.
2013-03-29 04:07:54 PM
7 votes:
A Newtown home destroyed by a fire this week was owned by a couple whose children survived the Sandy Hook Elementary School shootings in December.

I've seen this movie.

encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
2013-03-29 04:21:57 PM
4 votes:

GopherGuts: Ok, time to ban fire.


If the residents had been carrying matches this wouldn't have happened.
2013-03-29 05:02:52 PM
2 votes:

lilbjorn: Were they the household that tipped off the media about the NRA robocalls?


I was wondering too.

iheartscotch: Obviously, one of them brought home a cursed Tiki Idol or something.


The curse of the Tiki Idol is that the NRA will begin robocalling your house. The idol was stolen from the throne of Charleton Heston minutes before it went on stage with Clint Eastwood at the Republican convention. Eastwood was forced to perform his ritual with an empty chair. the world was spared from a return of Richard Nixon, who was going to possess the body of Todd Palin and rule with his Dark Concubine.
2013-03-29 04:50:40 PM
2 votes:
If they had only had guns they could have stopped that fire
2013-03-29 04:35:14 PM
2 votes:
Thanks Obama! NSFW Language.
2013-03-29 04:32:06 PM
2 votes:
HE HATES THESE CANS!

img27.imageshack.us
2013-03-29 04:21:33 PM
2 votes:

GopherGuts: Ok, time to ban fire.


By *that* much....
2013-03-29 08:03:48 PM
1 votes:
I blame gay marriage.
2013-03-29 06:51:06 PM
1 votes:
Well, now we know where they were hiding the evidence.
2013-03-29 06:40:02 PM
1 votes:
Just put the freakin' idol back, Bobby.

28.media.tumblr.com
2013-03-29 05:55:17 PM
1 votes:

jcooli09: What god?


I think you mean "what deity". There are goddesses associated with fire and tearing stuff up too, ya farkin' sexist.

/maybe
//agnostic polytheist
2013-03-29 05:32:17 PM
1 votes:

GopherGuts: Ok, time to ban fire.


I can see why some sportsmen might want a carefully regulated campfire, but no one except the military and fire departments require structural infernos. You aren't going to cook a steak with a house fire, and they serve no useful heating or culinary purpose.
2013-03-29 05:27:34 PM
1 votes:
He's just testing everyone's faith.   God is like the Verizon guy.

* a mother dies during childbirth *
Can you believe me now?  Good.

* that child grow up and is slaughtered in a school massacre *
Can you believe me now?  Good.

* house burns down, world war 3 ensues, half the population dies *
Can you believe me now?  Good.

Sign up now!  Coverage for the faithful not guaranteed.  Early termination fee of eternal damnation applies.
2013-03-29 05:01:45 PM
1 votes:
What does God have against Newtons?

ecx.images-amazon.com
2013-03-29 05:00:09 PM
1 votes:

FunkOut: ...

Really, any serious conspiracy theorist would realise Bush and Obama are just puppets of the Lizard/Mantis/Grey alliance set to turn all humans into processed food products.


THAT"S EXACTLY WHAT LIZARDMANTISLANNISTERS WANT YOU TO BELIEVE!!!  I'm on to you, I put on my mind ray hat now so you can't influence my thoughts.
2013-03-29 04:56:33 PM
1 votes:

El Hodor: Look, this is obviously part of a massive coverup.  Look at these two trees, one at the fire and one at the "alleged" school: THEY ARE EXACTLY THE SAME TREES!!!!  HOW CAN THE SAME TREE BE IN TWO DIFFERENT PLACES!!!!!  Obviously this is part of an Immuninati coverup to force all christian children to be late term aborted, raised in FEMA death camps, and then turned against us so they can force our guns to gay marry each other.

Thanks OBAMA!!

[hostpicture.eu image 703x241]


Really, any serious conspiracy theorist would realise Bush and Obama are just puppets of the Lizard/Mantis/Grey alliance set to turn all humans into processed food products.
2013-03-29 04:56:13 PM
1 votes:
Cain slew Abel Seth knew not why
For if the children of Israel were to multiply
Why must any of the children die?
So he asked the Lord
And the Lord said:

"Man means nothing he means less to me
than the lowiliest cactus flower
or the humblest yucca tree
he chases round this desert
cause he thinks that's where i'll be
that's why i love mankind

I recoil in horror from the foulness of thee
from the squalor and the filth and the misery
How we laugh up here in heaven at the prayers you offer me
That's why i love mankind"

The Christians and the Jews were having a jamboree
The Buddhists and the Hindus joined on satellite TV
They picked their four greatest priests
And they began to speak
They said "Lord the plague is on the world
Lord no man is free
The temples that we built to you
Have tumbled into the sea
Lord, if you won't take care of us
Won't you please please let us be?"
And the Lord said
And the Lord said

"I burn down your cities--how blind you must be
I take from you your children and you say how blessed are we
You must all be crazy to put your faith in me
That's why i love mankind
You really need me
That's why i love mankind"
2013-03-29 04:54:24 PM
1 votes:

Bigjake55: "their pet dog and several baby chickens died. "

OK the dog died but the chickens just became dinner.


ishootthepictures.files.wordpress.com

Chiun: It would be better for you to eat this can than what is inside of it. Why must everything in this country be coated with monositi-... monosoti...

Remo Williams: Monosodium glutamate. You can't even say it.

Chiun: I can say "rat droppings." That does not mean I want to eat them.
2013-03-29 04:51:04 PM
1 votes:
Obviously, one of them brought home a cursed Tiki Idol or something.
2013-03-29 04:48:27 PM
1 votes:
The board game Scrabble was invented there.  I think that establishes the connection.

Both the letter "G" and the letter "D" are worth 2 points.
2013-03-29 04:47:04 PM
1 votes:
All I can think now is how Soledad O'Brien is going to spin this into another anti-firearms rant.
2013-03-29 04:38:02 PM
1 votes:
spinoff.comicbookresources.com
2013-03-29 04:32:59 PM
1 votes:
blogs.sundaymercury.net
Just keeps getting hammered....
2013-03-29 04:24:08 PM
1 votes:
cdn1.elitedaily.com
2013-03-29 04:21:53 PM
1 votes:
Best Korea missed with its bottle rocket?
2013-03-29 04:21:19 PM
1 votes:
That's why all houses over 1 bedroom need to be banned...if they had a smaller house less things would have been burned.
2013-03-29 04:18:30 PM
1 votes:

JasonOfOrillia: God hates children.  Just read the bible.


I knew there was something wrong with that guy when he instructed the invading Israelites to smash out the brains of infants onto rocks when they invaded that one city.
2013-03-29 04:16:44 PM
1 votes:
God hates children.  Just read the bible.
 
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