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(BBC)   Signs things may be getting out of hand on the Korean Peninsula, #67: even Russia says, 'damn, dudes, back it up a notch'   (bbc.co.uk) divider line 52
    More: Followup, Korean Peninsula, Russia, North Koreans, russian foreign minister, military drills, B-52, imperialists, Pyongyang  
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16768 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Mar 2013 at 2:16 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
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Archived thread
2013-03-29 02:26:37 PM
16 votes:

I_Am_Weasel: First step for North Korean Generals.   Reduce the size of your caps..


From the other thread:

i48.tinypic.com
2013-03-29 02:35:23 PM
8 votes:
Give peace a chance.

We agree to give Korea Dennis Rodman in exchange for all their uranium.

Its a fair and equal exchange of unstable commodities.
2013-03-29 02:22:40 PM
6 votes:

ransack.: I thought the phrase was vicious cycle and not vicious circle


For all in tents, it is.
2013-03-29 02:24:36 PM
4 votes:

I_Am_Weasel: First step for North Korean Generals.   Reduce the size of your caps..


They can't.  That's where they stash the extra rations they receive.
2013-03-29 02:05:50 PM
4 votes:
First step for North Korean Generals.   Reduce the size of your caps..
2013-03-29 02:54:22 PM
3 votes:
I would bet B-2's for SEAD only. If it gets real real we'll send the birds

www.nationalmuseum.af.mil
image.rvmagonline.com
2013-03-29 02:46:03 PM
3 votes:
i0.kym-cdn.com
2013-03-29 10:38:35 PM
2 votes:
I found Li'l Kim's secret plans.

2.bp.blogspot.com
2013-03-29 02:47:58 PM
2 votes:

neongoats: I can't wait until some forum genius starts pants shiatting about container ships. It always happens in these NK threads.


I searched the last 3 Korea threads and the only person mentioning container ships is you, forum genius.
2013-03-29 02:38:06 PM
2 votes:

ha-ha-guy: hubiestubert: It's times like these you have to wonder if folks are regretting dialing the Japanese military back.

Then again, in the prelude to their entry into WWII, the Yakuza were employed to assassinate the Korean Empress, but then again, the Yakuza are more and more at the street level are employing a lot of Korean immigrants, and are sort of profitting with the tensions and smuggling and with drugs. Then again, full blown war would disrupt a LOT of their business too, so asking them for a few favors on clearing up the mess over there might be floated...

Dialing back?  Globally it is a Top 5 military.  It;s only real weakness is a lack of logstics and that doesn't matter much with America helping out and and the fact they're fighting in their back yard.


It's not a "military", that would be unconstitutional!  It's a Self Defense Police Force!

upload.wikimedia.org
STOP! POLICE!
2013-03-29 02:35:16 PM
2 votes:
What a North Korean attack on the US mainland would look like:
news.bbcimg.co.uk

What a US attack on North Korea would look like:
cdn.dipity.com

I'm not seeing the problem here.
2013-03-29 02:23:26 PM
2 votes:

The Stealth Hippopotamus: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Un-coming
[www.tucsonsentinel.com image 609x354]

ok that's funny.


And there is only one voice that North Korea has ever listened to, China. They will do whatever China tells them to unless the people who are actually pulling the strings in NK have gone batshiat nuts.

Does anyone really think that Jung Un has any real power?


He has over a billion times as many nuclear weapons as I do. So, yes.
2013-03-29 02:19:22 PM
2 votes:

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Does anyone really think that Jung Un has any real power?


I'm pretty sure Kimg Jong Un does.
2013-03-29 02:07:48 PM
2 votes:
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
This business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we will all be lucky to survive.
Pud [TotalFark]
2013-03-29 01:37:28 PM
2 votes:
The problem is not the N. Korean people. They are too busy just trying to find a tree with enough bark on it left to eat. The problem is the leadership that has been treated with this god-like reverence that is sure to go to their head. The real concern is that Kim Jong-un actually feels that he could simply fire a few missiles at those he doesn't like and they will simply go away. After all. He's all that, and a bagel with cream cheese. Our response could never touch them, for he is Kim Jong-un. Resistance is futile.
2013-04-01 10:44:05 AM
1 votes:
Declare War on USA today.
Surrender tomorrow.
Aid flows in on Tuesday.
 
See plot of "The Mouse That Roared".
2013-03-29 08:27:55 PM
1 votes:

OlderGuy: IMO, circle is appropriate.....


Circle doesn't make any sense.

A vicious circle would be a singular event, like twenty armored orcs in a video game surrounding you and cutting you to ribbons with axe and sword. That would be a vicious circle. Or even some pun, like Xena's razor sharp chakram, could be a vicious circle.

A vicious cycle, on the other hand, is a protracted event that gets worse and worse with each repetition. Like the guy in the Little Prince who drinks to forget he's a drunk. The more he drinks, the more of a drunk he is, and the more he drinks to forget. That's a vicious cycle.
2013-03-29 05:15:49 PM
1 votes:

Atomic Spunk: I live on Oahu. Within 25 miles of me, we have 2 Air Force bases, 2 Army bases and an Army hospital, 1 Marine Corp base and 2 Navy bases. If the N. Koreans try to hit US soil, we're just as much of a likely target as Alaska, maybe more so. I realize an attack isn't highly likely, but still, it makes me pretty nervous because being so isolated in the middle of the Pacific makes us vulnerable.


Yeah but being in Hawaii makes up for it, right? If you are going to live under the threat of nuclear annihilation, that's the place to be doing it.
2013-03-29 05:14:33 PM
1 votes:

Jim_Tressel's_O-Face: The Stealth Hippopotamus: And there is only one voice that North Korea has ever listened to, China. They will do whatever China tells them to unless the people who are actually pulling the strings in NK have gone batshiat nuts.

If China was truly pulling the strings, Best Korea wouldn't be anywhere near nuclear capable.


cineplex.media.baselineresearch.com

Chinese?! *Korean* is the most perfect creature ever to sanctify the earth with the imprint of its foot!

/why, yes, that *is* Kate Mulgrew on the right
2013-03-29 05:02:24 PM
1 votes:
Imagine the confusion if they attacked on April fools day.
2013-03-29 04:11:13 PM
1 votes:

HoratioGates: The problem with China's statement it says 'both sides', which to crazy North Korea looks like they are siding with them.  You know, the way when you tell a Tea Party member that you don't like some of Obama's policies and suddenly they start showing you birther stuff?


As long as they don't start showing me afterbirther stuff. Blech!
2013-03-29 04:03:55 PM
1 votes:

Cer10Death: I blame Obama. But then again, I blame Obama for just about everything and I mean everything. Before him, I blamed Bush and before him, Clinton. See how that goes?

Oh, I blame Congress on everything too. Just seems like the thing to do.


I realize you probably meant that the other way 'round, but upon reflection, I find your actual phrasing more insightful.

"The local news reported record high levels of Congress in the water tables."
"A new device designed for detecting Congress on interplanetary bodies was launched today."
"Dammit!  How the hell did we get all this Congress in the air ducts?"

:-)
2013-03-29 03:59:19 PM
1 votes:

IamAwake: ransack.: A teacher in high school told my class that it's actually cycle and everyone says it wrong. I never actually researched it myself, I just trusted Mrs. Chester

Huh?  If it's nothing more than a simple saying, then how can "everyone" be wrong?  There is no technically "right" way to say it - it is just something lots of people say.  If those people almost always say it one way over the other, then for all tents in porpoises, that is the correct way.

Circle of life, cycle of life...vicious circle, vicious cycle....pretty darn interchangeable.


Especially to those damned vicious motorcircle gangs.
2013-03-29 03:55:28 PM
1 votes:

SithLord: TheShavingofOccam123: Gosh, if Best Korea pulls a Serbia and shoots down a B2, do you think they'll be nice and return the nuclear weapons from our bomber?

I don't think they can see our stealth bombers at night.  They have a hard enough time seeing in the daylight as it is.


Because you can blindfold them with dental floss?

/**ducks**
2013-03-29 03:30:32 PM
1 votes:

tardological: I just think it's kind of fitting that World War III is going to start on Easter weekend.


I was already planning on spending most of Easter naked and drunk.  Now I have even more reason to do it.  Thanks Best Korea!
2013-03-29 03:17:30 PM
1 votes:
we need to just parachute a couple million tablets/ 3G ipad type things into Best Korea set to instantly play videos debunking the dear leader myth and showing what life is like in worst korea, etc. Like a modern airborne leaflet propaganda campaign. Bonus: keep the iPad
2013-03-29 03:17:14 PM
1 votes:

Man On Pink Corner: another cultural observer: The the big-ass military afterburners just kicked in at the Sky Harbor base. I haven't heard those during the day in a long time. ... If the Stratotankers all take off, let us know.

I guess the idea of S'ing TFU about military activities and troop movements is pre-Dan Rather thinking.


I am not North Korean Intelligence.  I am American.  Baseball!  Mickey Mouse!
2013-03-29 03:12:12 PM
1 votes:

another cultural observer: The the big-ass military afterburners just kicked in at the Sky Harbor base. I haven't heard those during the day in a long time. ... If the Stratotankers all take off, let us know.


I guess the idea of S'ing TFU about military activities and troop movements is pre-Dan Rather thinking.
2013-03-29 03:10:18 PM
1 votes:

neongoats: I can't wait until some forum genius starts pants shiatting about container ships. It always happens in these NK threads.

"OMGz NK is gonna send us a container ship with a nuke hidden in it"

Because it's not like our intelligence community knows who, what, when, where, and why about every gram of weapon materiel they have. Oh wait, most likely they know everything down to how many ass hairs Un loses every time he takes a shiat.


Because we've never had a serious intelligence failure involving terrorists pulling off attacks here in the U.S.?
They only have to get lucky once.

And you can hide a nuke in something smaller than a container ship;  hell, if they were ballsy enough, they could load a dirty bomb onto one of their old Romeo subs, drive it close enough to our west coast that detonation would contaminate a big chunk of property.

It's not like they'd worry about sacrificing the crew...
2013-03-29 03:08:11 PM
1 votes:

mr_a: The map was interesting. I hadn't quire realized that NK would have to fly missiles over Russian (and maybe even Chinese) airspace to hit Alaska. That ought to help complicate things.

Would Russia see it as an act of war by NK? Would the US target missiles with ABM weapons over either of these countries?

To be honest, I am surprised that the Chinese haven't just made this guy disappear by now.


....Come to think of it, if Russia takes it as an act of war, that'd make it a real damn short one...

/They're lunatics with vodka, they can probably curbstomp as well as we can.
2013-03-29 03:05:29 PM
1 votes:

CleanAndPure: Most likely N. Korea is bluffing but that doesn't mean there is no danger. The more tension there is, the more likely some mid level officer from either side will make a mistake and panic ordering an attack when a flock of seagulls fly past their radars.



I think balloons would have been more appropriate in that scenario.  99 of them.  Red.
2013-03-29 03:00:18 PM
1 votes:

tinyarena: What a North Korean attack on the US mainland would look like:
[news.bbcimg.co.uk image 304x171]

What a US attack on North Korea would look like:
[cdn.dipity.com image 600x314]

I'm not seeing the problem here.


The problem is a shiatload of bunkered artillery permanently aimed at Seoul.  There is no way that anyone - including the United States, Russia and China combined - could destroy North Korea's artillery threat before Seoul is shelled to bits.
2013-03-29 02:59:26 PM
1 votes:
I just think it's kind of fitting that World War III is going to start on Easter weekend.
2013-03-29 02:56:29 PM
1 votes:
The last thing we need is our great warrior/community activist president getting us into another costly war. It's just the kind of stupidity we've come to expect from this thin-skinned, chickenhawk chickensh*t and I bet he's chomping at the bit to jump right in if things go south. As citizens and taxpayers, we must make it a priority to strip war powers from both the president and the congress. All foreign military actions must be paid with war bonds, not tax money, just like World War II. If the people don't support the action and don't buy the bonds, there's no money to fight, and no war. And if our divisive little sh*thead of a president stirs up the usual liberal idiots enough to actually get us involved somewhere, all it will take to get us out is a shift in popular opinion. If we had this model in Iraq, I'm guessing we would have been out after only a couple of years. But the bottom line is this: No tax money for foreign wars!
2013-03-29 02:53:15 PM
1 votes:

xaldin: CleanAndPure: Give peace a chance.

We agree to give Korea Dennis Rodman in exchange for all their uranium.

Its a fair and equal exchange of unstable commodities.

Not sure it qualifies as fair. I think the beads we gave the Indian tribes for land was a better deal quite honestly.


Fine.  We'll throw in Sean Penn, Genine Garafolo, the entire Penn State football team/coaching staff and Ray Lewis for good measure.
2013-03-29 02:51:23 PM
1 votes:
Oh, fark it.

The the big-ass military afterburners just kicked in at the Sky Harbor base. I haven't heard those during the day in a long time.

Fark it. Just go blow the farking world up.

/Asia for Asians. Most of this crap is based on ancient face problems topped off with a delicate layer of European colonial bullshiat
2013-03-29 02:50:26 PM
1 votes:

nekom: Russia has some investments in Best Korea, some railroad lines and such but it's not much.  They also exploit cheap Best Korean labor, sort of how we exploit cheap illegal Mexican immigrant labor, except in their case it's strictly controlled and they all return home when they are done with them.  I don't think they have TOO awful much invested, so I sort of see Russia as a bystander in all of this.


Yup. There are even North Korean work camps set up in the Russian wilderness (warning: autoplay video) where the laborers are quite likely to not even realize they're outside of Best Korea. Even if they do, they can't do much about it.
2013-03-29 02:49:50 PM
1 votes:

Tillmaster: If NK uses nuclear weapons, why would you assume that we'd retaliate in kind? The US has more than enough conventional weapons to seriously ruin their day, and we could do so without screwing up our relationship with our allies-du-jour.


With the sequester cuts, we'd have to look at which option is more efficient from a budgetary standpoint.

We've already paid for the nukes....it'd actually represent a cost savings to use one.
2013-03-29 02:49:05 PM
1 votes:

TheShavingofOccam123: The B2 bomber can deliver at least the following nuclear weapons: [...]

I would say Best Korea is going to start something that will mushroom out of control.

2013-03-29 02:47:07 PM
1 votes:
Kim Jong Un is a classic trustafarian blowhard and he is kitting up to pork the pooch.  The only end game I can think of is that once we  have taken a huge f*cking eraser to every square millimeter of his ass backwards country, we'll be obliged to rebuild it.  Don't just blow this fool off, though, because he is the most dangerous sort of fool.  He believes everything that he says.
2013-03-29 02:41:53 PM
1 votes:
Just one rocket, aimed right at the Kim's home. If he happens to not be there, consider it a threat. If he is there, consider it a solution.
2013-03-29 02:40:01 PM
1 votes:

CleanAndPure: Give peace a chance.

We agree to give Korea Dennis Rodman in exchange for all their uranium.

Its a fair and equal exchange of unstable commodities.


Not sure it qualifies as fair. I think the beads we gave the Indian tribes for land was a better deal quite honestly.
2013-03-29 02:39:19 PM
1 votes:
Gosh, if Best Korea pulls a Serbia and shoots down a B2, do you think they'll be nice and return the nuclear weapons from our bomber?
2013-03-29 02:37:59 PM
1 votes:
LOL

CNN article "Will China finally 'bite' North Korea?" appears as if the author read one of our recent NK threads drew upon some of our musings to write an article.

Jennifer Lind, what's your Fark handle?
2013-03-29 02:35:56 PM
1 votes:

mr_a: The map was interesting. I hadn't quire realized that NK would have to fly missiles over Russian (and maybe even Chinese) airspace to hit Alaska. That ought to help complicate things.

Would Russia see it as an act of war by NK? Would the US target missiles with ABM weapons over either of these countries?

To be honest, I am surprised that the Chinese haven't just made this guy disappear by now.


Seriously, since an NK missile launch aiming for Alaska would probably land somewhere near Moscow and then the Russians would obliterate them.

That would save us a lot of time and money.

=]
2013-03-29 02:33:22 PM
1 votes:

I_Am_Weasel: First step for North Korean Generals.   Reduce the size of your caps..


Its an interesting mix of enormous soviet style hats with French Kepi's
vpb [TotalFark]
2013-03-29 02:32:27 PM
1 votes:

Hack Patooey: said it had put missiles on stand-by to hit the US.

Hit the US, how?  Are they gonna load em onto trucks and push them off the back?


I think Kim Yung'un can see Wasilla from his house.
2013-03-29 02:31:02 PM
1 votes:
I can't wait until some forum genius starts pants shiatting about container ships. It always happens in these NK threads.

"OMGz NK is gonna send us a container ship with a nuke hidden in it"

Because it's not like our intelligence community knows who, what, when, where, and why about every gram of weapon materiel they have. Oh wait, most likely they know everything down to how many ass hairs Un loses every time he takes a shiat.
2013-03-29 02:26:06 PM
1 votes:
said it had put missiles on stand-by to hit the US.

Hit the US, how?  Are they gonna load em onto trucks and push them off the back?
2013-03-29 02:25:11 PM
1 votes:
It's times like these you have to wonder if folks are regretting dialing the Japanese military back.

Then again, in the prelude to their entry into WWII, the Yakuza were employed to assassinate the Korean Empress, but then again, the Yakuza are more and more at the street level are employing a lot of Korean immigrants, and are sort of profitting with the tensions and smuggling and with drugs. Then again, full blown war would disrupt a LOT of their business too, so asking them for a few favors on clearing up the mess over there might be floated...
2013-03-29 02:24:05 PM
1 votes:
Time for the Russians to give Lil Kim a taste of something radioactive...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poisoning_of_Alexander_Litvinenko
2013-03-29 02:21:14 PM
1 votes:
We should just announce publicly that China has decided to nuke them if they get out of hand.
That should take care of it.
NK will freak, and try to nuke China,
China will turn NK into an open mine pit.
 
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