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(Telegraph)   Kim Jong-un hates trendy food trucks   (telegraph.co.uk) divider line 166
    More: Dumbass, Kim Jong, North Koreans, food truck, military affairs, bombing raids, mainland  
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14440 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Mar 2013 at 10:45 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-29 09:19:00 AM
I was ok with LA and DC, but I draw the line at Austin.
 
2013-03-29 09:28:25 AM
Every other city in Texas and he picks AUSTIN?    This was Dennis Rodman's fault.   I can feel it.
 
2013-03-29 09:36:37 AM

SlothB77: I was ok with LA and DC, but I draw the line at Austin.


/this
 
2013-03-29 10:08:06 AM
That one "general" behind him looks like he's thinking, "I'd like to smack this fat little fark upside his head".
 
2013-03-29 10:12:04 AM
i.telegraph.co.uk

"The boss is coming look busy"
 
2013-03-29 10:19:34 AM
"What is that food doing, driving away? NUKE IT!!!
 
2013-03-29 10:26:40 AM
North Korean Military hats are ridiculous.
 
2013-03-29 10:34:41 AM

Snarfangel: "What is that food doing, driving away? NUKE IT!!!


I hear the pizza is good, if you can get it.
 
2013-03-29 10:49:28 AM
Publishing your plans isn't very smart.......obviously his people are getting unruly about starving to death so he has to show them that dear leader is protecting them from the big scary United States.
 
2013-03-29 10:49:39 AM
Don't mess with Texas.
 
2013-03-29 10:49:41 AM
HE HATES THESE CANS!
 
2013-03-29 10:50:05 AM

Tom_Slick: [i.telegraph.co.uk image 460x287]

"The boss is coming look busy"


ERMAGERD!!!!! iMAC!
 
2013-03-29 10:50:06 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-03-29 10:50:39 AM
He should try their balls.

iamkoream.com
 
2013-03-29 10:51:09 AM

CommiePuddin: HE HATES THESE CANS!



d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net
 
2013-03-29 10:52:32 AM

SlothB77: I was ok with LA and DC, but I draw the line at Austin.


Seriously this!
 
2013-03-29 10:52:41 AM

Citrate1007: Publishing your plans isn't very smart.......obviously his people are getting unruly about starving to death so he has to show them that dear leader is protecting them from the big scary United States.


That would explain why this whole thing feels like comic book supervillainy.
 
2013-03-29 10:52:45 AM
Hey Kim,

We have lots of room for improvement against insurgents, but when it comes to battling nation states, we ride a  pale horse, and Hades follows close behind.
 
2013-03-29 10:53:40 AM
If they even attacked Alaska (which we could take or leave, I mean I know they have oil but still), it would be an attack on the US. The US destroyed a country because our President wanted to show up his daddy and our Vice President wanted to make a shiatload of money in a no-bid contract to rebuild said destroyed country so it doesn't take a lot to provoke us. What does NK really think is going to happen if they actually made a first strike against the US?

And could you admins decide in a timely manner which threads you're going to red light in a timely manner? Christ, it's not that hard a job.
 
2013-03-29 10:53:53 AM
I assume the guys in uniform know they have resources to sustain a war for about 12 minutes. I think they just humor Humpty and tell him he's in charge/

i.telegraph.co.uk
 
2013-03-29 10:54:26 AM
Summon the Royal Navy !!!!!

i.huffpost.com
 
2013-03-29 10:55:55 AM

SlothB77: I was ok with LA and DC, but I draw the line at Austin.


At least save it for SXSW and help exterminate the hipster/blogger infestation.
 
2013-03-29 10:57:17 AM
i.telegraph.co.uk

I knew the destruction of the US would be plotted on a iMac
 
2013-03-29 10:57:30 AM

NightOwl2255: That one "general" behind him looks like he's thinking, "I'd like to smack this fat little fark upside his head".


I'd imagine the General is thinking "I'd love to cap this clown, but his aunt and uncle say we need to keep his fatass around to use a scape goat if another uprising like the 1995 coupe attempts happens."
 
2013-03-29 10:58:16 AM
s23.postimg.org
 
2013-03-29 10:59:13 AM
You know, I generally loathe the "Glass parking lot" response to belligerent world leaders, but are there a whole lot of people in North Korea who wouldn't welcome  the sweet release  of being flash heated to 1000 degrees F?
 
2013-03-29 10:59:32 AM
i.telegraph.co.uk

I think he's just scrutinizing a take-out menu.

"I'll just get me the Turkey Club. Sides? Uh, kimchee, I guess. I'm not even gonna eat it. [Asks guy with the notebook] What're you getting?[Guy points to menu] No, see, I always order the wrong thing. No, no, no, I'll just stick with that."
 
2013-03-29 10:59:56 AM
i.telegraph.co.uk

Say, if I multiply all these trajectory projections by zero, I will finish all these target coordinates by lunch.
 
2013-03-29 10:59:58 AM

Because People in power are Stupid: North Korean Military hats are ridiculous.


The "straight cylinder" ones might escape notice.  They don't look more ridiculous than some Russian stuff.  Maybe a little less height, as they do imply "marching band".

But the "salad bowl" ones just have to go.  Have some pride, 75-year-old yesmen to an evil, clueless hereditary dictator.

Also, what's the deal with Henchman #3's belt?  It's hugging his ribcage.
/This concludes "North Korean Fashion Police"
 
2013-03-29 11:00:03 AM
"We fire missile into Sea of Japan in general direction, anyway"

jaytkay: I assume the guys in uniform know they have resources to sustain a war for about 12 minutes. I think they just humor Humpty and tell him he's in charge/

[i.telegraph.co.uk image 620x387]


Those men are wearing bowls on their heads

/I don't think I'd trust them
 
2013-03-29 11:01:45 AM
I find this amusing because I just watched the Red Dawn remake for the first time last night
 
2013-03-29 11:02:32 AM

jaytkay: I assume the guys in uniform know they have resources to sustain a war for about 12 minutes. I think they just humor Humpty and tell him he's in charge/

[i.telegraph.co.uk image 620x387]


The one on the left is a ventriloquist.
 
2013-03-29 11:02:48 AM

InmanRoshi: Summon the Royal Navy !!!!!

[i.huffpost.com image 850x570]


you just know that guy in the way back hesitated to get in the water at first because, fark that, this suit is Gucci and the shoes are handmade itallian numbers that cost him half the country's legitimiate GDP, and then he saw Un boy look back at him with a ook in his eye like he was making a mental note of his lack of enthusiasm, and  next thing you know he's tripping all over himself to give the boat the biggest push
 
2013-03-29 11:02:50 AM
i.telegraph.co.uk
... Has anyone pointed out that a straight line for an intercontinental missile is actually a great circle? There's no way that a missile between NK and DC would go over northern California. It actually travels east of Alaska and just west of Toronto.
 
2013-03-29 11:02:54 AM

InmanRoshi: SlothB77: I was ok with LA and DC, but I draw the line at Austin.

At least save it for SXSW and help exterminate the hipster/blogger infestation.


It's also when the beggar/homeless panhandlers are out in full force so it would help eliminate that roach like infestation as well.

South Austin person and thats the way I likes it.
 
2013-03-29 11:03:47 AM
I imagine a naval force of like 5 PT boats w/ 25 Norks a piece, and maybe a dozen or so fishing vessels filled with maybe 100 soldiers on them landing on the US coast.  1 mile inland (if they'd live that long) they find a grocery store, followed by immediate surrender.  Then it's or turn to go on offense on their homeland, and it will be much, much more impressive.
 
2013-03-29 11:05:13 AM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: "We fire missile into Sea of Japan in general direction, anyway"jaytkay: I assume the guys in uniform know they have resources to sustain a war for about 12 minutes. I think they just humor Humpty and tell him he's in charge/

[i.telegraph.co.uk image 620x387]

Those men are wearing bowls on their heads

/I don't think I'd trust them


Those bowls are useful if they ever come across food.

/Before Dear Blubber does, I mean.
 
2013-03-29 11:05:39 AM

GGracie: SlothB77: I was ok with LA and DC, but I draw the line at Austin.

Seriously this!


There's nothing in texas worth saving. What's with you guys?
 
2013-03-29 11:05:46 AM
i.telegraph.co.uk

Did anybody else notice how ridiculous the "peaked caps" look on the guy on the right and the second to left? The kepis I understand, but those aren't peaked caps.
 
2013-03-29 11:06:35 AM

SlothB77: I was ok with LA and DC, but I draw the line at Austin.


Done in 1.

It is war, then.
 
2013-03-29 11:06:52 AM

Theaetetus: [i.telegraph.co.uk image 460x287]
... Has anyone pointed out that a straight line for an intercontinental missile is actually a great circle? There's no way that a missile between NK and DC would go over northern California. It actually travels east of Alaska and just west of Toronto.


This could explain an awful lot about why they suck at shooting missiles long distances. Maybe they think the world is flat or something.
 
2013-03-29 11:07:14 AM
Those are the intended "missile trajectories"?  They don't realize that the earth isn't flat like a map, and we're still supposed to take them seriously?
 
2013-03-29 11:08:04 AM
Is he filling out a bracket?  You're a little late to party there pally.

i.telegraph.co.uk
 
2013-03-29 11:08:47 AM
Is he planning on messing with texas?
 
2013-03-29 11:09:52 AM

Magorn: You know, I generally loathe the "Glass parking lot" response to belligerent world leaders, but are there a whole lot of people in North Korea who wouldn't welcome  the sweet release  of being flash heated to 1000 degrees F?


Why even go that far?  Massive cruise missile/bombing strike on the artillery the Norks have pointed at Seoul, strikes on the complex holds their shiatty missiles, and roll the tanks.  The ROK guys can speak the language and explain concepts like "food surplus, access to basic medical care, and no we do not have labor camps" to the locals.  Really assuming you get all the artillery aimed at Seoul in your surprise first strike and convince China to sit this one out, it really is easy.  There is no chance of any kind of anti occupation insurgency and most of the Nork troops are only in it because soldiers and their families get a higher priority for food, when they see the Abrams bearing down on them, odds are they reach for the sky.  Aside from a couple successfully brainwashed units, I doubt the Nork army is that eager to die and the USMC would welcome a chance to chew up a few units to work out any unrelieved anger issues over Chosin.

Of course even better is Kaesong Industrial Complex.  Every year more and more North Koreans get an increased standard of living and a glimpse as the standard of living that South Korea enjoys.  Plus it is an excellent hub for feeding South Korean culture into the North (real easy to slide a North Korean worker an iPod touch loaded with South Korean media and let him take it him so the family can watch K-Pop, news, movies, documentaries, etc).  Soon enough North Korea will have its Bastille Day, Arab Spring, etc.  There were already couple attempts against Kim Jong Il during the last famine and Jong Il had a much higher level of control than Fatso does.   Bide our time, wait for the civil war or serious unrest, bribe/convince the artillery units on the DMZ to stand down (or wait for them to enter a confused state and bomb the shiat out of them), and send in peacekeeping troops with a UN Mandate.  No fuss, no muss.

/the real biatch will be the cost to modernize North Korea, it's going to be worse than when West Germany had to bring East Germany up to speed
 
2013-03-29 11:09:53 AM
He's just going for strategic Korean outposts like this:

24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-03-29 11:11:37 AM

Theaetetus: [i.telegraph.co.uk image 460x287]
... Has anyone pointed out that a straight line for an intercontinental missile is actually a great circle? There's no way that a missile between NK and DC would go over northern California. It actually travels east of Alaska and just west of Toronto.


Yeah, I was going to get to that. The map pretty clearly demonstrates that it's for internal consumption, since I doubt the NK masses have a handle on anything more advanced than "the shortest distance is a straight line".

Not that the average American would understand it if the lines were curved over Alaska, either, but still.
 
2013-03-29 11:12:21 AM

InmanRoshi: Summon the Royal Navy !!!!!

[i.huffpost.com image 850x570]


Is he crossing the Dererar?
 
2013-03-29 11:12:46 AM

Theaetetus: [i.telegraph.co.uk image 460x287]
... Has anyone pointed out that a straight line for an intercontinental missile is actually a great circle? There's no way that a missile between NK and DC would go over northern California. It actually travels east of Alaska and just west of Toronto.


Shhhh, you'll give them ideas.
 
2013-03-29 11:15:02 AM

FreakinB: He's just going for strategic Korean outposts like this:

[24.media.tumblr.com image 400x300]


One sweet taste of KorillaBBQ and those war mongering bastards are going to surrender.
 
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