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(Slate)   My partner suffered a severe stroke. How soon can I leave her?   (slate.com) divider line 163
    More: Sad, Emily Yoffe, medical system, strokes  
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15506 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Mar 2013 at 7:45 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-29 06:03:29 AM

Genevieve Marie: that people are disposable when they get inconvenient


That's not the only way to read this. It's not just inconvenient, it's also a loss of the women he married -- she didn't get a new job, she lost the ability to speak and move. For all practical purposes, she's a different person, and even if she weren't disabled he still might not want to be with that new person.

Also the level of "inconvenience" is not trivial; people whine about caring for infants, but imagine providing the same care for someone that weighs 10 times as much, and not for a few years, but for the rest of your life. I think it's pretty harsh to judge someone for admitting they can't do that. If anything I think we as a society should be ashamed for even asking a individual to provide that sort of care -- we should be providing that care as a public service so that no one is forced into such an overwhelming situation, and so that no one is relegated to the arbitrary standard of care provided by the random person assigned to care for them.
 
2013-03-29 07:56:30 AM
Hey, what?  "---for better or worse, in sickness and in health----"  hey, screw this shyt, I'm outta here!

That about get it?
 
2013-03-29 08:12:45 AM
I have a sneaking suspicion that if it were him that had had that stroke, he would have been mighty pissed if she'd then decided to bail.
 
2013-03-29 08:13:55 AM
Boy, this is going to help with my misanthropy.
 
2013-03-29 10:23:22 AM
i220.photobucket.com

Not exactly the same, but does his fiance  know where the money is?
 
2013-03-29 10:55:06 AM
So she was about 40 or younger, and already having her first stroke.

What was her Fark handle?
 
2013-03-29 11:55:05 AM
In all seriousness, if I were to suffer some horrible accident or medical condition that would be irreversible; I'd want my wife to leave me.

Call me immature or prideful or whatever.  I don't want to grunt broken English with half my face while taking an adult sized crap in my pants while my wife tries to pay the bills and clean up after me.  I'd sleep better at night knowing the horrible accident *hadn't* also ruined her life.
 
2013-03-29 02:51:35 PM

udhq: Cheesus: Yay traditional marriage!

Since marriage exists for the purpose of procreation, I say if she's unable to get pregnant, you're clear.


Also, engaged is not married. It's like calling dibs. You can take it back.
 
2013-03-29 03:13:00 PM
Had a few minor strokes myself, and now looking at liver failure and the big C... wife still right there. Love, or Insurance not sure, but she is....  Get married, you take a vow... sickness and health comes to mind. Were I the person in the link, I could not walk away... my wife could not walk away.  If marriage is not a factor, then you do what you feel is right I suppose...
 
2013-03-29 03:56:30 PM
Twice in my life of 32 years a loved one became terminally ill and I had to take care of them.

Leaving never was an option in my mind.   But it is enough to keep me from wanting to be close to anyone ever again, fearing not only the  loss but of the suffering on both sides.  Quite frankly the death from long drawn out illness is almost the best part of it all.

Because of this I can almost, ALMOST understand where he is coming from...almost

Of course someday you know it will end and you can move on.

But getting fat, that is there to stay man...rarely a light at the end of that tunnel.
 
2013-03-29 05:34:34 PM
Being together through good times or bad is kind of the point of marriage, otherwise you are only a fair weather friend.

I guess this guy figured out he was only ever a fair weather friend before he took those vows, but it seems it was a close call. He wouldn't have miraculously changed post wedding, if she'd had the stroke a year after they were married, he'd likely still be asking how soon he could leave. He needs to be thoroughly slapped for using the term "soul mates" when he hasn't a clue what it means.
 
2013-03-29 05:42:20 PM
Sounds like this would have been his bit at the alter

"And do you promise to love and to hold in sickness and in health until death do you part"
"I do. Unless you actually get sick, and the death part? Didn`t mean that either. In fact what did I just agree to? That`s it, I`ll always wanna fark you"

/this is why you don`t marry after a year
 
2013-03-29 06:50:14 PM

2KanZam: Twice in my life of 32 years a loved one became terminally ill and I had to take care of them.

Leaving never was an option in my mind.   But it is enough to keep me from wanting to be close to anyone ever again, fearing not only the  loss but of the suffering on both sides.  Quite frankly the death from long drawn out illness is almost the best part of it all.

Because of this I can almost, ALMOST understand where he is coming from...almost

Of course someday you know it will end and you can move on.

But getting fat, that is there to stay man...rarely a light at the end of that tunnel.


Don't worry dude, if you get fat I promise to arrange to have you shot. I couldn't stand watching a dumb animal suffer.
 
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